Night Patrol (2025) RJ Cyler, Justin Long, Jermaine Fowler, Freddie Gibbs, Nicki Micheaux, YG, Flying Lotus, Phil Brooks, Nick Gillie, Dermot Mulroney
Ok, so.. I.. wow. And not a good wow. A “why did I actually sit through that whole piece of shit” kinda wow. Oh my gods…
An LAPD cop discovers a local task force is hiding a secret that puts the residents of his childhood neighborhood in danger.
Usually, I try and find at least one good thing to say about a film before I trash it. Maybe there’s good makeups, some decent acting, some little interesting thing that might save it. And ok, it had an interesting premise (otherwise I just wouldn’t have started the film at all), but it does literally nothing with it. So I might as well get into it.
So. First, the language. I have no idea what it’s like to be in a gang. I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to be black. But if I had a dollar for every time the N word was used, I’d be a rich lady. It was so over-used. And black stereotypes? All there.
The basic premise is there’s a special task force of the LAPD that are known as the “Night Patrol”, and they’re supposedly on gang watch. What it really is, is a bunch of neo-nazi vampires who just kill black people who live in the projects indiscriminately. Ok, so we have the evil LAPD officers against the “trash” that lives in the projects. Got it. OMG how did they convince black actors to star in this?? If I were black, I’d have taken one look at that script and told them to go fuck themselves. It makes me question what kind of people the white actors who were in this are. Yes, it’s that bad.
SPOILER WARNING (in case anyone wants to watch this turd)
So, our hero is a gangbanger named Wazi. His brother Xavier is an LAPD officer who wants to get into the Night Patrol, but we know he never will cause he’s black. Wazi’s girlfriend is killed by an initiate of the Night Patrol, an officer named Hawkins, who’s partner is Xavier. It’s being drilled into our heads that Hawkins is a good guy, even though he’s done some truly awful stuff (besides killing Wazi’s girlfriend, he’s also responsible for some war crimes that got swept under the rug). He eventually confides in his partner that he’s going into the Night Patrol cause he believes that they killed his father. But lo and behold, when he’s finally initiated into the Night Patrol, he finds his father leads them. The vampires then go after the people that live in the projects, put them in cages, newly turned Hawkins kills Xavier, then tries to resist, but he JUST CAN’T you guys! Did I mention that the only thing that stopped them was some Zulu mysticism? Oh yeah, that’s in there. So Wazi manages to kill Hawkins, then gets thrown in a room with the vampires, manages to kill Hawkins senior, throws himself into the pile of vampires surrounding him and we fade to black. Did you get all that? God, it was bad.
Now for the more technical stuff, I guess. The acting was bad. Really bad. Justin Long and Dermot Mulroney, who I both usually like, were AWFUL. Everyone was overacting. And not in a fun, “chewing the scenery” kinda way. The dialog was forced and just plain stupid. People just don’t talk like that. There weren’t extensive makeups, but everything that could have been done by makeup was done with cgi. Cgi bullet wounds (I miss squibs), cgi fire, cgi blood spurts, everything. The camerawork was all over the place, it was almost nauseating sometimes.
So do I recommend it? Good god, no. Absolutely not. Nope. Nope from space. This gets a 1/10 from me. What a waste of time.
M.
This movie is streaming on Shudder and AMC+ should you feel the need to watch the trainwreck for yourselves. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Before I start, I have to right a horrible wrong in my 90’s list. I don’t know how, but there are 2 glaring omissions that would be in the list. 1995’s Copycat, starring Sigourney Weaver. And 1992’s Batman Returns, starring Michael Keaton. They would both be pretty high on the list, and I have no idea how I forgot them. There’s also one that would be in the honourable mentions, 1996’s Freeway, starring Reese Witherspoon. Seriously, my brain is a sieve sometimes. Ok, now that that’s out of the way, here we go.
By the 2000’s I had already started to watch less movies, so this list was a little easier to make. I still have a few honourable mentions, but not nearly as many as the 90’s list. So without any further ado, here are my top 30 films of the 2000’s.
Number 30
Title:Underworld Year: 2003 Plot: Selene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons. Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Shane Brolly, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Sophia Myles, Erwin Leder, Wentworth Miller, Kevin Grevioux Directed by: Len Wiseman Based on: An original screenplay written by Danny McBride. Notes: The 2000’s saw the beginning of the “slick horror” films, and this is a perfect example of that. It’s a goth’s wet dream, all latex and straps and beautiful people. It’s definitely a case of style over substance, but it’s still a fun popcorn movie.
Number 29
Title: The Count of Monte Cristo Year: 2002 Plot: A young man, falsely imprisoned by his jealous “friend”, escapes and uses a hidden treasure to exact his revenge. Starring: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Dagmara Dominczyk, Richard Harris, Luis Guzmán, Henry Cavill, James Frain, Patrick Godfrey, Michael Wincott Directed by: Kevin Reynolds Based on: The book Le Comte de Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Notes: What a wonderful retelling of an already wonderful book. Plus, tiny 17 year old Henry Cavill is almost too adorable for words.
Number 28
Title:Zodiac Year: 2007 Plot: Between 1968 and 1983, a San Francisco cartoonist becomes an amateur detective obsessed with tracking down the Zodiac Killer, an unidentified individual who terrorizes Northern California with a killing spree. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Brian Cox, John Carroll Lynch, Chloë Sevigny, Elias Koteas, Dermot Mulroney Directed by: David Fincher Based on: The non-fiction books Zodiac and Zodiac Unmasked by Robert Graysmith. Notes: David Fincher proves yet again how good he with this type of film. Tense from start to finish, it’s an unflinching look at the horrors perpetrated by the Zodiac killer, and the toll it took on the detectives who worked the case. And after going through all the evidence myself, I have to agree with the film’s conclusion that Arthur Leigh Allen was the killer.
Number 27
Title:Silent Hill Year: 2006 Plot: Rose Da Silva takes her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the town of Silent Hill in an attempt to cure her of her ailment. After a violent car crash, Sharon disappears and Rose begins a horrific journey to get her back. Starring: Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean, Jodelle Ferland, Deborah Kara Unger, Kim Coates, Tanya Allen, Alice Krige Directed by: Christophe Gans Based on: The Silent Hill video game series created by Konami. Notes: This is one of those films that you only watch once, even though it’s really good. At least it is for me, and I’ll tell you why. Little girl barbeque *intense shudder*. But all the best elements of the game are beautifully, and horrifyingly, brought to life. It’s tense, it’s creepy, and better acted than other video game adaptations.
Number 26
Title: Shrek Year: 2001 Plot: A mean lord exiles fairytale creatures to the swamp home of a grumpy ogre, who must go on a quest and rescue a princess for the lord in order to get his land back. Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, Conrad Vernon, Vincent Cassel, Jim Cummings Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson Based on: The children’s picture book Shrek! by William Steig. Notes: This film is so much fun. Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy play off each other perfectly, and the result is hilarious. There’s also a ton of slightly off colour jokes that adults will get but not the kids, so it’s fun for all ages.
Number 25
Title: The Mothman Prophecies Year: 2002 Plot: A recently widowed reporter goes to a small town to investigate strange, possibly supernatural, happenings. Starring: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Will Patton, Lucinda Jenney, Yvonne Erickson, David Eigenberg, Debra Messing Directed by: Mark Pellington Based on: The non-fiction book The Mothman Prophecies by John Keel. Notes: A total hidden gem, I never hear people talk about this film, and it’s a real shame. It’s so good, very well acted, and tense. A good time.
Number 24
Title: Gladiator Year: 2000 Plot: A former Roman General sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery. Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, Spencer Treat Clark Directed by: Ridley Scott Based on: While not based on a true story, it is historical fiction that uses real figures and settings to tell a fictional tale. Notes: Ancient history is something I eat right up, so even a fictional story set in ancient times is something I’ll likely love (unless they fuck it up completely).
Number 23
Title:Queen of the Damned Year: 2002 Plot: The vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires. Starring: Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez, Paul McGann, Lena Olin, Matthew Newton, Claudia Black, Christian Manon, Bruce Spence, Tiriel Mora Directed by: Michael Rymer Based on: The books The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice (more or less…) Notes: Yes, I’m aware how bad this movie is. But that’s part of its charm! It’s only very loosely based on Anne Rice’s amazing novels, and while I wish they had gotten the same lush treatment that Interview did, I’m not at all upset with how this turned out. The soundtrack is absolutely killer, standouts being David Draiman’s Forsaken and Jay Gordon’s Slept So Long.
Number 22
Title:Jeepers Creepers Year: 2001 Plot: Trish and Darry are driving home for spring break when they encounter a being who eats parts of his victims to reshape its own body. Starring: Gina Philips, Justin Long, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher, Eileen Brennan, Brandon Smith Directed by: Victor Salva Based on: While not a true story, the opening scene where Trish and Darry witness a man dumping a body is heavily influenced by a case in 1990. Ray and Marie Thornton witnessed Dennis DePue disposing of his wife’s body behind an abandoned schoolhouse. DePue subsequently chased the siblings in his van. Notes: Ok, I had no idea that the opening scene was based on a true story! It’s amazing what you can find out with a little research, hehe. But this film is so much fun, silly title aside. The Creeper is such a fun villain, and how cute was Justin Long in this??
Number 21
Title: Ice Age Year: 2002 Plot: Manny the mammoth, Sid the loquacious sloth, and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger go on a comical quest to return a human baby back to his father, across a world on the brink of an ice age. Starring: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Cedric the Entertainer, Stephen Root, Diedrich Bader, Alan Tudyk, Jane Krakowski Directed by: Carlos Saldanha, Chris Wedge Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael Berg, Michael J Wilson, and Peter Ackerman Notes: This has to be one of my very favourite animated films. It’s absolutely hilarious and heart-warming at the same time. It’s animated beautifully and has a simple yet wonderful message of love and acceptance.
Number 20
Title: Identity Year: 2003 Plot: Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rain storm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they’re being killed off one by one. Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Ray Liotta, John Hawkes, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C. McGinley, William Lee Scott, Jake Busey, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Rebecca De Mornay, Bret Loehr Directed by: James Mangold Based on: The book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (while not a direct adaptation, it adopts the same “ten strangers in an isolated location” premise and kills them off one by one, incorporating a modern twist). Notes: The film is so tense, so good, with a killer (pun totally intended) twist before twists were a dime a dozen. The only part of the film I dislike is the very last scene. It’s just over a minute long, and undoes everything the film was trying to do. I always turn it off just before this scene. It doesn’t exist to me.
Number 19
Title: Harry Potter(s) Year: 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2009 Plot: The trials and tribulations of Harry Potter and his friends at a wizarding school while they try fight a villain long thought dead. Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Gary Oldman, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Bonnie Wright, Kenneth Branagh, John Cleese, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Issacs, Julie Walters, David Bradley, Mark Williams, Toby Jones (v.o.), Richard Harris, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Emma Thompson, Warwick Davis, Brendan Gleeson, Robert Pattinson, Katie Leung, Clémence Poésy, Fiona Shaw, Evanna Lynch, Natalia Tena, Imelda Staunton, Richard Griffiths, Helen McCrory Directed by: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates Based on: The first 6 books in the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) Notes: Ok, so maybe I’m cheating here, but I didn’t want a good chunk of the list to be Harry Potter films, so I lumped them all into one. Sure, the author is problematic, but HP Lovecraft was a raging racist. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy their work.
Number 18
Title:Mr Brooks Year: 2007 Plot: Mr Brooks is a well respected businessman who highlights as a serial killer. When he’s photographed at his latest murder site, he must do as the photographer says or he’ll be turned in to police. Starring: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, William Hurt, Dane Cook, Danielle Panabaker, Marg Helgenberger, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Lindsay Crouse Directed by: Bruce A Evans Based on: An original screenplay written by Bruce A Evans and Raynold Gideon. Notes: I’m a sucker for serial killer films, and I think this is one of the great ones. Except for the last two minutes. They change an otherwise cool and collected character into a blubbering mess, and I hate it. Another one I shut off before the end.
Number 17
Title:A Knight’s Tale Year: 2001 Plot: After his master dies, a peasant squire, fueled by his desire for food (and glory), creates a new identity for himself as a knight and enters jousting competitions. Starring: Heath Ledger, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon, Paul Bettany, Laura Fraser, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell, James Purefoy Directed by: Brian Helgeland Based on: While not a direct adaptation of a specific book, it is heavily inspired by Geoffrey Chaucer’s 14th-century work The Knight’s Tale from The Canterbury Tales. Notes: Melding middle ages with hints of the modern age, this film is so much fun. Heath Ledger made me absolutely swoon as William Thatcher, the squire who dreams of greatness. The jousting sequences are absolutely amazing!
Number 16
Title:1408 Year: 2007 Plot: Author Michael Enslin, who specializes in debunking paranormal occurrences, checks into the fabled room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel in New York City and soon confronts genuine terror. Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Jasmine Jessica Anthony, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr Directed by: Mikael Håfström Based on: The short story 1408 by Stephen King Notes: I actually wasn’t crazy about this film the first time I watched it. I’m not sure why I watched it again, but I’m glad I did. I quite love it now.
Number 15
Title:Pitch Black Year: 2000 Plot: A transport ship crashes and leaves its crew stranded on a desert planet inhabited by bloodthirsty creatures that come out during an eclipse. Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Keith David, Lewis Fitz-Gerald, Rhiana Griffith, Claudia Black, John Moore Directed by: David Twohy Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy, Ken Wheat, and Jim Wheat. Notes: I might be in the minority here, but I absolutely love this film. It’s such an awesome, tense film with some great characters (plus a few throw away ones, but I suppose that’s par for the course for a horror movie).
Number 14
Title:Wall-E Year: 2008 Plot: In a future where humans have temporarily abandoned Earth, a trash-compacting robot falls in love with a flying droid and helps her on her quest to restore hope to mankind. Starring: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver, MackInTalk Digital Performer Directed by: Andrew Stanton Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Stanton and Jim Reardon. Notes: Who knew a film with so little dialog could be so engaging? I recently rewatched this and I loved it just as much as I did back then. Literally perfect film.
Number 13
Title: Signs Year: 2002 Plot: A widowed former reverend living with his children and brother on a Pennsylvania farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields, which suggests something more frightening to come. Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones, M Night Shyamalan, Patricia Kalember, Merritt Wever Directed by: M Night Shyamalan Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan. Notes: I love this film. Sometimes heart-warming, sometimes spooky, it’s so well done. And it has one of the best jumpscares ever.
Number 12
Title:The Eye (Gin Gwai) Year: 2002 Plot: A blind musician receives a corneal transplant, only to discover she can see ghosts and terrifying supernatural visions, leading her to investigate the donor’s past. Starring: Lee Sin-Je, Lawrence Chou, Candy Lo, Chutcha Rujinanon, Yut Lai So, Edmund Chen, Yin Ping Ko, Wisarup Annuar Directed by: Danny Pang, Oxide Chun Pang Based on: An original screenplay written by the Pang brothers. They were inspired by a newspaper report they read about a girl who committed suicide after a corneal transplant. Notes: Forget the awful American remake with Jessica Alba, this Hong Kong/Singapore film is where it’s at. Tense and sometimes genuinely terrifying, this one will have you leery of elevators for years!
Number 11
Title:Repo! The Genetic Opera Year: 2008 Plot: A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however. Starring: Alexa PenaVega, Anthony Stewart Head, Terrance Zdunich, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, Paris Hilton, Bill Moseley, Kevin ‘ohGr’ Ogilvie, Sarah Power Directed by: Darren Lynn Bousman Based on: A 2002 stage musical of the same name (originally titled The Necromerchant’s Debt) written and composed by Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich. Notes: I generally am not a fan of musicals. The only exceptions, I guess, are animated films, but they don’t really fall under the umbrella of “musical”. But when I saw this, a goth musical starring a bunch of people I knew, I had to give it a try. And boy did I not regret it! This film is absolutely awesome, and all of the songs are amazing! Everyone did a great job with it, even, surprisingly, Paris Hilton.
Number 10
Title:X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand Year: 2000, 2003, 2006 Plot: In a world where mutants (evolved super-powered humans) exist and are discriminated against, two groups form for an inevitable clash: the supremacist Brotherhood, and the pacifist X-Men. Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Aaron Stanford, Shawn Ashmore, Kelsey Grammer, Ben Foster, Elliot Page, Cameron Bright Directed by: Bryan Singer, Brett Ratner Based on: The Marvel comic books created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The superhero team first appeared in The X-Men #1 in 1963, later becoming famous for the long-running Uncanny X-Men series and numerous spin-offs. Notes: I’m cheating again here by putting 3 films in one spot, but if I didn’t, there’d be 3 entries for X-Men in the list because I loved all three of these films. Yes, even the much maligned third one. I thought it was fun, didn’t get the adverse reaction it got.
Number 9
Title:Center Stage Year: 2000 Plot: A group of dancers from various backgrounds enroll at the American Ballet Academy in New York to make it as ballet dancers and each one deals with the problems and stress of training and getting ahead in the world of dance. Starring: Amanda Schull, Sascha Radetsky, Ethan Stiefel, Zoe Saldaña, Susan May Pratt, Peter Gallagher, Ilia Kulik, Donna Murphy, Eion Bailey Directed by: Nicholas Hytner Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen. Notes: I love dance movies, even bad ones, simply cause I love the dancing. This one is about ballet, and they hired actual ballet dancers to star in the film. And surprisingly, the acting doesn’t suffer for it. The dance sequences are amazing, and all the characters are engaging. Simply wonderful.
Number 8
Title:Frailty Year: 2001 Plot: A mysterious man arrives at the offices of an FBI agent and recounts his childhood: how his religious fanatic father received visions telling him to destroy people who were in fact “demons.” Starring: Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Matt O’Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Powers Boothe, Luke Askew, Levi Kreis, Derk Cheetwood Directed by: Bill Paxton Based on: An original screenplay written by Brent Hanley, although he was heavily inspired by the real-life 70’s serial killer Joseph Kallinger. Kallinger was a religious fanatic who believed he was on a divine mission and forced his young son to help him kidnap and murder people. Notes: This is such an underrated gem of a film. It’s so tense, so disturbing, and everyone turns in amazing performances. I highly recommend seeing this film if you haven’t already!
Number 7
Title:From Hell Year: 2001 Plot: In 1888 London, a Scotland Yard investigator searches for Jack the Ripper, and a conspiracy begins to unfold. Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Robbie Coltrane, Katrin Cartlidge, Susan Lynch, Ian Holm, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng, Terence Harvey, Lesley Sharp, Annabelle Apsion, Joanna Page Directed by: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes Based on: The historical-fiction graphic novel From Hell by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Both the movie and the book are based on a specific, largely discredited theory about the Ripper’s identity, which was popularized by Stephen Knight’s 1976 book, Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution. Notes: I actually didn’t love this movie the first time I saw it, although I couldn’t tell you why. It has everything I love in a good serial killer film, plus Johnny Depp to boot. But I love it now, even if this particular theory about the Ripper is horseshit. Crazy conspiracy theories make good cinema, however.
Number 6
Title:The Haunting in Connecticut Year: 2009 Plot: After a family is forced to relocate for their son’s health, they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home and uncover a sinister history. Starring: Kyle Gallner, Virginia Madsen, Martin Donovan, Elias Koteas, Amanda Crew, Sophi Knight, Ty Wood Directed by: Peter Cornwell Based on: The book In a Dark Place: The Story of a True Haunting by Ray Garton and famous paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren. Supposedly based on a “true story”, and I put that in heavy quotations. Notes: This is only a loose retelling of the Warrens’ book, it’s got a lot of stuff added to it, and the Warrens themselves aren’t even in this movie. But it’s such a great little film. It’s spooky, atmospheric, and very well acted. This is a definite horror gem of the 2000’s. Plus, Kyle Gallner. Meow.
Number 5
Title:Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Year: 2003 Plot: An intrepid blacksmith teams up with an eccentric pirate captain to save his love from an undead pirate crew. Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Zoe Saldaña Directed by: Gore Verbinski Based on: The classic Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney theme parks. The screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio took the theme park ride’s atmosphere, iconic animatronic scenes, and pirate lore, and built an original swashbuckling adventure around them. Notes: When I heard they were making a movie based on a ride at a Disney theme park, I almost died laughing. “They’ve really hit rock bottom” I thought. But then I saw the film and I took it all back. It’s so much fun! Johnny Depp made one of the most iconic characters of the 21st century.
Number 4
Title:Constantine Year: 2005 Plot: Detective Angela approaches Constantine, a demon hunter, to help her investigate her twin sister’s mysterious death. As he digs deeper, he realizes that demons are trying to enter the human world. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale, Djimon Hounsou, José Zúñiga, Peter Stormare Directed by: Francis Lawrence Based on: The Hellblazer graphic novels by Alan Moore, Steve Bissette, and John Totleben. Notes: I saw the movie before reading any of the comics, so imagine my surprise when I saw how different the film actually was. While I did enjoy the books, it’s the movie that I actually revisit. It’s just so good, everyone giving great performances, Keanu’s stoic nature actually perfect for this character.
Number 3
Title:The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Year: 2001, 2002, 2003 Plot: A meek Hobbit from the Shire and eight companions set out on a journey to destroy the powerful One Ring and save Middle-earth from the Dark Lord Sauron. Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Ian Holm, Andy Serkis (v.o.), Sean Bean, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, Bernard Hill, Brad Dourif, David Wenham, John Noble, Sala Baker Directed by: Peter Jackson Based on:The Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien Notes: I’m not really cheating here, since this is one long story that was actually filmed all at the same time. But what can I say about this? It’s so very good, the New Zealand landscape looking the part of a magical, lush, beautiful world. Every single character from the mains to the extras are doing their absolute best, and you can really see their dedication. Just amazing.
Number 2
Title:The Exorcism of Emily Rose Year: 2005 Plot: A lawyer takes on a negligent homicide case involving a priest who performed an exorcism on a young lady that resulted in her death. Starring: Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Jennifer Carpenter, Campbell Scott, Colm Feore, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Joshua Close, JR Bourne, Mary Beth Hurt Directed by: Scott Derrickson Based on: The book The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel by Dr Felicitas Goodman. Also based on a “true story”. Notes: This film is at times poignant, at times tense, and at times downright scary. Jennifer Carpenter gives a tour-de-force performance as the possessed girl.
Number 1
Title: The Ring Year: 2002 Plot: A journalist must investigate a mysterious videotape which seems to cause the death of anyone seven days after they view it. Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Rachael Bella, Amber Tamblyn, Daveigh Chase Directed by: Gore Verbinski Based on: The book Ring written by Koji Suzuki. It is also a remake of the Japanese film Ringu. Notes: Finally, my absolute favourite film of the decade, The Ring is tense, scary, with buckets of atmosphere. The actors all do a great job. As a side note, the original dvd had a copy of the video that the characters watch in its entirety that you literally could not stop. They made it so that you couldn’t press stop, couldn’t pause, and I almost had a heart attack. I know it’s just a movie, but I really didn’t want to see the full video, haha.
Honourable mentions:
Troy Ginger Snaps Donnie Darko The Dark Knight Saw The Grudge Stardust Session 9 Inkheart The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Save the Last Dance Juno
And that’s it! Are your favourites on the list? Let me know, and stay tuned for the next (and last) in this series, the 30 best of the 10’s. I’ve got a list started for the 20’s, but I won’t be doing it til 2030, so I’ve got some time to think about it, lol. Or maybe I’ll do 2020 – 2025, then 2026 – 2029 when the time comes. We’ll see.
I didn’t remember just how many amazing movies were made in the 90’s. I must have made a list of 50 films I loved and then had to pair it down to 30. I was not happy. And then just as I thought I was finished the list, a movie that I forgot came to mind and I had to shift everything. But I finally decided upon 30, so here they are, my 30 favourite films of the 90’s.
Number 30
Title:Scream Year: 1996 Plot: In the small town of Woodsboro, California, a masked killer begins murdering high school students, and a group of friends must use their knowledge of horror movies to unmask the killer. Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Drew Barrymore, Roger Jackson (v.o.) Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: An original screenplay written by Kevin Williamson, although he was heavily inspired by the true story of the “Gainesville Ripper”, Danny Rolling, who murdered several college students in 1990. Notes: So, I know, why is Scream all the way at number 30? Because I sometimes have weird tastes and there’s just 29 movies I love more, that’s why! But yes, of course, this movie is a modern classic. I’m generally not a fan of slashers, but this one is great.
Number 29
Title:The Iron Giant Year: 1999 Plot: A young boy befriends a giant robot from outer space that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy. Starring: Eli Marienthal, Harry Connick Jr, Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney, M Emmet Walsh, Cloris Leachman Directed by: Brad Bird Based on: The book The Iron Man by Ted Hughes. Notes: This has to be one of my favourite animations ever. It’s both hilarious and heartwarming. Keep some kleenex close, you’re gonna need it!
Number 28
Title:Practical Magic Year: 1998 Plot: Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love. Starring: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Dianne Wiest, Aidan Quinn, Goran Visnjic, Evan Rachel Wood, Alexandra Artrip Directed by: Griffin Dunne Based on: The book Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. Notes: The perfect blend of chick flick and supernatural. And how disgustingly beautiful were Sandra and Nicole?? My goodness..
Number 27
Title:The Matrix Year: 1999 Plot: When a beautiful stranger leads computer hacker Neo to a forbidding underworld, he discovers the shocking truth: the life he knows is the elaborate deception of an evil cyber-intelligence. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Gloria Foster, Matt Doran, Julian Arahanga, Anthony Ray Parker Directed by: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski Based on: An original script written by the Wachowski’s, but they admitted to being heavily inspired by the philosophical book Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard. Notes: This movie is, in a word, iconic. Never mind the slew of sequels that got progressively worse, this movie was so good. Great ideas paired with top-notch action scenes; it was a must-see of the 90s.
Number 26
Title:The Craft Year: 1996 Plot: After transferring to a Los Angeles high school, Sarah finds that her telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals. Starring: Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Skeet Ulrich, Breckin Meyer, Christine Taylor, Assumpta Serna Directed by: Andrew Fleming Based on: An original screenplay written by Peter Filardi and Andrew Fleming. Notes: The other movie that came out in ’96 starring Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich, I personally prefer this one. Maybe it’s because I identified more with the outcast goth girls? Probably. But this is just a fun witchcraft movie that I can still enjoy even though I’m no longer a teen.
Number 25
Title:Dragonheart Year: 1996 Plot: The last living dragon and a disillusioned dragon-slaying knight must unite to stop an evil king, who was granted partial immortality. Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery (v.o.), Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson Directed by: Rob Cohen Based on: An original screenplay written by Charles Edward Pogue and Patrick Read Johnson. Notes: I haven’t watched this since the early 2000s I’d wager, so I can’t be sure if the cgi holds up. But I remember it being pretty great.
Number 24
Title: The Prophecy Year: 1995 Plot: Archangel Gabriel is searching for the soul of a supremely evil human to win a war that’s raging between angels and bring hell on earth. Starring: Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen, Amanda Plummer, Adam Goldberg, Moriah Shining Dove Snyder Directed by: Gregory Widen Based on: An original screenplay written by Gregory Widen. Notes: Viggo as Lucifer is one of the most unsettling, even downright scary, things you’ll ever see. Holy crap.
Number 23
Title:To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar Year: 1995 Plot: Three drag queens travel cross-country until their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town where they turn the resident’s lives upside down. Starring: Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Jason London, Jennifer Milmore, Blythe Danner, Beth Grant, Alice Drummond, Chris Penn, Arliss Howard Directed by: Beeban Kidron Based on: An original screenplay written by Douglas Carter Beane. Notes: I absolutely love this film and can watch it over and over. It’s so funny and heartwarming at the same time. And how beautiful is John Leguizamo as Chi Chi? My goodness..
Number 22
Title:The Mummy Year: 1999 Plot: At an archaeological dig in the ancient city of Hamunaptra, an American serving in the French Foreign Legion accidentally awakens a mummy who begins to wreak havoc as he searches for the reincarnation of his long-lost love. Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J O’Connor, Oded Fehr, Erick Avari, Jonathan Hyde, Patricia Velasquez, Omid Djalili Directed by: Stephen Sommers Based on: An original screenplay written by Stephen Sommers, although it is a re-imagining of the 1932 Universal film of the same name. Notes: Is this movie really only number 22? Wow, there were great movies in this decade! This film is so fun and of course I eat up anything even remotely about ancient Egypt. And 90’s Brendan Fraser? Yes please!
Number 21
Title: Ever After Year: 1998 Plot: Danielle de Barbarac is a spirited young woman forced into servitude by her wicked stepmother after her father’s death, who falls in love with Prince Henry after a chance meeting. Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott, Melanie Lynskey, Megan Dodds, Patrick Godfrey, Lee Ingleby, Kate Lansbury, Walter Sparrow, Matyelok Gibbs, Judy Parfitt, Timothy West, Jeroen Krabbé Directed by: Andy Tennant Based on: An original screenplay written by Susannah Grant, Andy Tennant, and Rick Parks, inspired by the 1697 Cinderella fairy tale written by Charles Perrault. Notes: One of my very favourite chick flicks. Such a beautiful story and stupidly romantic, Danielle is actually a good role model for women and girls to follow.
Number 20
Title:House on Haunted Hill Year: 1999 Plot: An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past. Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Max Perlich, Jeffrey Combs Directed by: William Malone Based on: An original screenplay written by Robb White and Dick Beebe. It is a loose remake of the 1959 movie of the same name starring Vincent Price. Notes: Now, I love Vincent Price, but gods was the original boring! And I have trouble with plastic skeletons on wires, I’ll be honest. This remake is slick and scary, perfectly updated for modern audiences.
Number 19
Title:Stargate Year: 1994 Plot: An Egyptologist and a retired US Army Colonel unlock an ancient ring-shaped device discovered in Giza. They travel through a wormhole to the desert planet Abydos, where they discover a human civilization enslaved by the alien Ra, who poses as a god, and work to overthrow him to return home. Starring: James Spader, Kurt Russell, Jaye Davidson, Alexis Cruz, Mili Avital, Erick Avari, Viveca Lindfors, Leon Rippy, John Diehl, Djimon Hounsou, Gianin Loffler Directed by: Roland Emmerich Based on: An original screenplay written by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, inspired in part by ancient astronaut theory, notably Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Däniken. Notes: Marrying ancient Egyptian-like culture and space travel? Sign me up! It also doesn’t hurt that James Spader was an absolute fox.
Number 18
Title:Empire Records Year: 1995 Plot: A tight-knit group of record store employees are fighting to save their independent shop from becoming a corporate chain store in a single, chaotic day. Starring: Anthony LaPaglia, Rory Cochrane, Liv Tyler, Johnny Whitworth, Renée Zellweger, Robin Tunney, Ethan Embry, Debi Mazar, Maxwell Caulfield, Brendan Sexton III, Coyote Shivers, James ‘Kimo’ Wills Directed by: Allan Moyle Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen, based on her personal experiences working at a Tower Records in Phoenix, Arizona. Notes: I can’t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.
Number 17
Title:Seven Year: 1995 Plot: Two detectives try to track down a serial killer who chooses his victims based on the seven deadly sins. Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, R Lee Ermey, Richard Roundtree, Reg E Cathey, Peter Crombie, John Cassini, Kevin Spacey Directed by: David Fincher Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Kevin Walker. Notes: Such a brilliant piece of film. Well written, well acted, with a gut-punch of an ending that will stick with you long after the movie is done.
Number 16
Title:The Silence of the Lambs Year: 1991 Plot: A young FBI rookie is sent to ask the help of brilliant cannibalistic killer Dr Hannibal Lecter in catching another killer who kidnaps his victims, holds them for many days, then skins them to make a ‘woman suit’. Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Brooke Smith, Lawrence T Wrentz, Diane Baker Directed by: Jonathan Demme Based on: The book The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. Notes: This is, quite possibly, my favourite serial killer movie of all time. No surprises there, it’s such a classic. Did you know, despite having top billing, Anthony Hopkins only has about 18 minutes of screen time?
Number 15
Title:Stigmata Year: 1999 Plot: When a young woman becomes afflicted by stigmata, a priest is sent to investigate her case, which may have severe ramifications for his faith and for the Catholic church itself. Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa Directed by: Rupert Wainwright Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Lazarus and Rick Ramage. Notes: My lifelong crush on Gabriel Byrne aside, this is just an awesome movie. I must have seen it over 20 times, maybe even more! I love religious horror when it’s done right.
Number 14
Title:It Year: 1990 Plot: In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown. Starring: Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Jonathan Brandis, Annette O’Toole, Emily Perkins, Harry Anderson, Seth Green, Dennis Christopher, John Ritter Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace Based on: The book It by Stephen King Notes: I watched this when it came out, which meant I was 9 years old. Pennywise traumatized the crap out of me, and I’ve hated clowns ever since. But despite all this, I loved it and still do. Part two is not nearly as good as part one, which is why it’s not higher on the list.
Number 13
Title:Hackers Year: 1995 Plot: Teenage hackers discover a criminal conspiracy with plans to use a computer virus that will capsize five oil tankers unless a ransom is paid. Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, Alberta Watson Directed by: Iain Softley Based on: An original screenplay written by Rafael Moreu. Notes: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, I’ve always had my own computer since then. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchin’ soundtrack.
Number 12
Title:The Crow Year: 1994 Plot: The night before his wedding, musician Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally murdered by members of a violent gang. On the anniversary of their death, Eric rises from the grave and assumes the mantle of the Crow, a supernatural avenger. Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Jon Polito, Tony Todd Directed by: Alex Proyas Based on: The graphic novel The Crow by James O’Barr Notes: I’m generally not a huge fan of action movies, but this was a huge exception. With its gothic esthetic and supernatural elements, this became one of my all-time favourite movies.
Number 11
Title:Event Horizon Year: 1997 Plot: A rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years. It did not come back alone. Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Jason Isaacs, Jack Noseworthy, Richard T Jones, Sean Pertwee Directed by: Paul WS Anderson Based on: An original screenplay written by Philip Eisner. Notes: This film scared the snot out of me when I first saw it when it came out (I was 16), and still manages to give me goosebumps today. A sign of a job well done!
Number 10
Title:The Exorcist III Year: 1990 Plot: As a police lieutenant mourns on the anniversary of his friend’s death (Father Karras, from the first film), a serial killer strikes whose MO is eerily similar to a killer’s who’s been dead for 15 years. Starring: George C Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller, Nicol Williamson, Scott Wilson, Nancy Fish, and George DiCenzo Directed by: William Peter Blatty Based on: The book Legion by William Peter Blatty. Notes: This is the only sequel that The Exorcist should of had, instead of the abomination that was made (seriously, what the hell was that??) It’s a great story, and has real scares, with none of the camp that 90’s horror was so famous for. A real, under-rated gem. It also has the best jumpscare ever.
Number 9
Title:The Stand Year: 1994 Plot: After a man-made super flu kills 99% of the people on earth, the survivors band together into two groups, one drawn by dreams of a kind old lady, the others by an evil dark man. Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Adam Storke, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Rob Lowe, Corin Nemec, Matt Frewer, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston Directed by: Mick Garris Based on: The book The Stand by Stephen King. Notes: I saw this at 13 when it first aired on tv, and I hadn’t read the book yet, which was probably a good thing, since it allowed me to love the mini-series, and not continuously compare it to the book. When I read the book a few years later, I was amazed at how much extra stuff was in it, but my love of the show was already cemented. It’s hopelessly dated, but it’s still a fun watch.
Number 8
Title:Interview with the Vampire Year: 1994 Plot: A man who has lost his wife and baby in childbirth is offered immortality by a charming but ruthless vampire. We follow him through his centuries of life as he tells his story to a young writer. Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Stephen Rea, Domiziana Giordano, Indra Ové, Thandie Newton Directed by: Neil Jordan Based on: The book Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice. Notes: So beautiful and sumptuous. Incredibly acted and written, it follows the book quite closely (which is to be expected when the author writes the screenplay). A lot of the actors don’t look like their book counterparts, but the movie is so well done that I was able to forgive this.
Number 7
Title:Only You Year: 1994 Plot: As a teen, Faith was told that her destiny is with a man named Damon Bradley. Years later, when she’s about to marry someone else, a Damon Bradley calls to wish them well, and Faith blows off her wedding to follow Damon to Italy. Starring: Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr, Bonnie Hunt, Joaquim de Almeida, Fisher Stevens, Billy Zane, Adam LeFevre, Siobhan Fallon Hogan Directed by: Norman Jewison Based on: An original screenplay written by Malia Scotch Marmo. Notes: Films don’t get much more schmoopy than this, folks. This is the very definition of romantic. My heart flutters a little every time I see it.
Number 6
Title:Clueless Year: 1995 Plot: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok. Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, Dan Hedaya Directed by: Amy Heckerling Based on: The book Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based). Notes: My favourite teen movie of all time. It’s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent, as rich teens probably actually are.
Number 5
Title:Jurassic Park Year: 1993 Plot: An industrialist invites some experts to visit his theme park of cloned dinosaurs. After a power failure, the creatures run loose, putting everyone’s lives, including his grandchildren’s, in danger. Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Samuel L Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong Directed by: Steven Spielberg Based on: The book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. Notes: The first, the original, and still the best. The effects more than hold up today.
Number 4
Title:Sleepy Hollow Year: 1999 Plot: A slightly eccentric Constable is sent to the small town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate killings that the locals are sure were committed by a ghostly headless horseman. Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Walken Directed by: Tim Burton Based on: The book The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving. Notes: This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous. Simply wonderful.
Number 3
Title:The Shawshank Redemption Year: 1994 Plot: A wrongfully convicted banker forms a close friendship with a hardened convict over a quarter century while retaining his humanity through simple acts of compassion. Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston Directed by: Frank Darabont Based on: The novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King. Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. A wonderful story about the resilience of the human spirit.
Number 2
Title:The Sixth Sense Year: 1999 Plot: After being shot by a resentful former patient whom he failed to help, a Philadelphia child psychologist seeks redemption by treating a young boy with a disturbing secret. Starring: Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Trevor Morgan, Mischa Barton, Donnie Wahlberg Directed by: M Night Shyamalan Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan Notes: I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw this for the first time, I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. We were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We couldn’t. And thankfully, unlike a lot of films with such twists, this film is so good that even knowing what’s going to happen doesn’t take any enjoyment away from the film.
Number 1
Title:Bram Stoker’s Dracula Year: 1992 Plot: After seeing a photograph of a woman who resembles his long-dead wife, a centuries old vampire travels to England to find her. Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Cary Elwes, Richard E Grant, Tom Waits, Monica Bellucci Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola Based on: The novel Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: I won’t deny the effect that the classics have had on modern film. Without the original Universal monsters, we might not have near as many great movies as we do. But it stands that I have trouble with old timey films. So I much prefer this one to the original. So lush, so beautiful, romantic, sometimes creepy. Simply put, perfect. Besides Keanu’s accent, of course! haha
And here are a few of the films that almost made the list, but not quite:
The Truth About Cats & Dogs While You Were Sleeping Stir of Echoes Cruel Intentions The Relic From Dusk Till Dawn The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert 10 Things I Hate About You Twister The Good Son The Lion King Get Real The Witches Army of Darkness Romeo + Juliet Little Women Fried Green Tomatoes Benny & Joon The Cutting Edge Dazed and Confused Dark City Total Recall Can’t Hardly Wait Cry-Baby Merlin The Frighteners The Pit and the Pendulum Subspecies Darkman
And there it was, my top 30 films of the 90’s! What are some of your favourites? Let me know!
I’m finally finished the second half of this list. I was wondering if I was going to ever get the motivation to finish it at all, but here it is, part 2 of my 15 favourite episodes of Ancient Aliens.
Number 7
Title:Aliens and the Lost Ark Season: 6, episode 10 Who they talk to: Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Graham Hancock, Rev Barry H Downing PhD, Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Rev Michael JS Carter, Rabbi Ariel Bar Tzadok, William Henry, David Wilcock, Michael Dennin PhD, David Childress, Jason Martell, Kathleen McGowan, Alexander Bay PhD, Mike Bara What they discuss: Archeological discovery that may prove that the Ark of the Covenant was real. The story in the book of Exodus where Moses went to the top of Mount Sinai and received the 10 commandments, and these tablets were stored in the Ark, which they were told how to build. It would also hold the power of God himself. Who did Moses really encounter? Was it an extraterrestrial being? The Ark was not to be touched, upon pain of death. It was always covered so people couldn’t look at it. Was the Ark some kind of alien technology? It was said to protect and provide for the Israelites while they were in the desert by sending the Manna. Did the Ark hold a machine that made this Manna? The story of the Ark stopping the waters of the Jordan river so that they could go into the Promised Land? The destruction of Jericho. The Philistines capture the Ark, and then they start to get sick and die. They send it back. Did the Ark contain some kind of nuclear driven device? The attire the priests had to wear to approach the Ark to protect themselves from the power coming from it. A physicist explains how the golden Ark could be an energy capacitor. It disappears from history in about 400 BC. The theory that the Ark ended up in Japan, in the caves of mount Tsurugi. The theory that the Ark was hidden by the Knights Templar. The monks in Aksum in the cathedral of St Mary of Zion claim that they have the Ark. Is the Ark hidden under the Temple Mount in Jerusalem? A bright light was seen over the Dome of the Rock on Temple Mount. Was it charging the Ark? It is said that the Ark will return with the coming of the Messiah. Notes: I’m fascinated by anything about the Ark of the Covenant. Not sure why, but I am. I don’t believe it was real, but I love the mythology around it. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 6
Title:Closer Encounters Season: 1, episode 4 Who they talk to: Robert Schoch PhD, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Nancy Red Star, David Childress, Erich von Däniken, LA Marzulli, Jonathan Young PhD, Bill Birnes PhD, C Scott Littleton PhD, Betty Ann Brown PhD, Maximillien de LaFayette, George Noory, William Bramley, Chris Pittman, Alex Chionetti, Michael J Crowe PhD, Clifford Mahooty, Philip Coppens, Peter Fiebag, Graham Hancock, Linda Moulton Howe What they discuss: The first test of an atomic bomb in New Mexico. Were there similar weapons in ancient times? The Mahabharata has stories of weapons that are eerily similar to today’s weapons. The ruins of Mohenjo-Daro. Did an atomic bomb go off there? As evidence, there’s vitrification. What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Lot’s wife died from looking at the blast. Noah’s birth and real lineage. Was Noah’s Ark some kind of DNA bank? Paintings from the middle ages that look to be depicting UFOs in the background. Was the Black Death created by extraterrestrials to cull humans? The logs of Christopher Columbus. Did it depict a UFO? The people of Nuremburg who saw an aerial battle in the 16th century and memorialized it in a broadsheet. Cotton Mather’s record of a UFO over the moon. Reports of lights in the sky in the 18th century Europe and Asia. Sightings in early United States history. The ruins at Chaco Canyon show advanced knowledge of astronomy. Strange lights coming from Oak Island in the 19th century. Is the Ark of the Covenant buried there? Is it an extraterrestrial device? Notes: A grab bag of subjects that have to do with sightings and technologies, I found this episode fascinating. I love learning new things, and there was a bunch of stuff in this episode I didn’t know. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 5
Title:The New Evidence Season: 11, episode 4 Who they talk to: Erich von Däniken, David Childress, David Wilcock, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Andrew Collins, David Cheetham PhD, Sabina Magliocco PhD, David Whitehead, William Henry, Robert Bauval, Ramy Romany, Andrew Collins, George Noory, Dominic Steavu PhD, Ed Barnhart PhD, Jason Martell, Brien Foerster What they discuss: A re-introduction of ancient astronaut theory. New technology that helps us understand the cosmos and ancient ruins. The “new Stonehenge” the found at Durrington Walls using ground penetrating radar. 15 other underground sites were also found in the area. Are they remnants of an extraterrestrial space port? The possibility of two additional shafts hidden in the tomb of Tutankhamun. Is one of these chambers the tomb of Nefertiti? And is it hidden because she was not of this world? The archeological dig at the pyramid of Quetzalcoatl in Teotihuacan. Liquid mercury was found. Did it belong to the extraterrestrials that visited them? The tomb of Emperor Chin and his terracotta army also has large quantities of liquid mercury. Was Machu Picchu built with the help of aliens? There may be a large cavity hidden underneath it. 24 new, older images were found at Nazca that can only be seen with a 3D scan. This proves more than one culture were making these glyphs. Similar glyphs were found in Kazakhstan. Were they used to signal the “gods”? Notes: It’s always interesting to learn all the new stuff that can be found with new technologies. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 4
Title:Dark Forces Season: 10, episode 4 Who they talk to: Rev Lionel Fanthorpe, Jonathan Young PhD, Robert Cargill PhD, William Bramley, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Richard Rader PhD, David Wilcock, David Childress, Sabina Magliocco PhD, Kathleen McGowan Coppens, Stephen O’Shea, Erich von Däniken, William Henry, Dan Healey PhD, Rabbi Ariel Bar Tzadok, Mike FitzGerald, George Noory What they discuss: Serial killers who said they worship Satan. Stories of evil forces that overtake humans are prevalent in every culture in the world. Were some of these dark forces extraterrestrials? Ancient Greek author Hesiod and the 9 muses. His story of Pandora’s Box. The Djinn, who could be a force for good or evil. The Cathars and how they believed demons would lead you astray from god with material things. The Sumerian epic The Atrahasis. The birth and death of Grigory Rasputin. The stories of a pact with the devil. The Nazi SS and the occult leanings of Heinrich Himmler. Alistair Crowley and his dark rituals. Do other beings feed on our negative energy? Notes: Stories of evil forces and deals with the devil? Sign me up! Giorgio’s hair:
Number 3
Title:Prophets and Prophecies Season: 5, episode 7 Who they talk to: Jonathan Young PhD, Philip Coppens, Richard Rader PhD, Fr William J Fulco PhD, David Childress, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Rev Barry H Downing PhD, Patrick Cooke, Nick Redfern, Erich von Däniken, Jason Martell, Judy Chungwa Ho PhD, Robert Schoch PhD, Jay Weidner, Marie D Jones, Michael Dennin PhD, Doc Barham What they discuss: Cultures from around the world have stories of people who can communicate with other forces. Were these other forces extraterrestrials? The divine encounters of Moses. The encounters of the prophet Elijah. Was the fiery chariot that took him to heaven an alien craft? Joseph Smith Jr and the creation of The Book of Mormon. The birth and life of Buddha. Depictions of the Persian god Ahuru Mazda show him in a winged disc. Was his prophet Zarathustra actually communicating with an extraterrestrial? The Oracle of Delphi and her connection to the god Apollo. Michel de Nostredame and his book Les Propheties. The zero-point field, or Akashic Record, where all knowledge, past present and future, is held. Albert Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity. Notes: More supernatural stuff and I’m here for it. It’s just so interesting. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 2
Title:Aliens and the Creation of Man Season: 3, episode 16 Who they talk to: Dr Ian Tattersall, Craig Stanford PhD, Fiorella Terenzi PhD, Nick Redfern, David Childress, Philip Imbrogno, George Noory, Linda Moulton Howe, Philip Coppens, Erich von Däniken, Bill Birnes PhD, Dr Lyle Armstrong, Jonathan Young PhD, Peter Fiebag, Jason Martell What they discuss: Early hominids. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Some ancient astronaut theorists believe that Darwin wasn’t completely right and homo sapiens became smarter due to extraterrestrial intervention. Was all the species of hominids trial and error of genetic mutations by extraterrestrials? Were Adam and Eve the first genetically modified humans? The Sumerian creation story, where humans were created by beings called the Anunnaki. Stories from many cultures say that language was a gift from the gods. Petroglyphs from around the world depicting beings that came down from the heavens. The theory of panspermia. Notes: This is as close as this show gets to my own beliefs. Panspermia seems very likely to me. Giorgio’s hair:
Number 1
Title:Aliens and the Undead Season: 3, episode 14 Who they talk to: Aidan Dodson PhD, Robert Bauval, Andrew Collins, David Childress, Giorgio A Tsoukalos, Brien Foerster, George Noory, Sallie Ann Glassman, Jerry Gandolfo, Tok Thompson PhD, Max Brooks, Bob Curran PhD, Jonathan Young PhD, Erich von Däniken, Pastor Brett Peterson, David Skal, Andrew Wyatt PhD, Richard Rader, Michael Coogan PhD, Jessica Haynes, Dr Jeff Long MD, Doc Barham What they discuss: Mummification and the ancient Egyptian’s afterlife myths. Many cultures believed that they would go to the stars after they died. Was this because of something they witnessed from extraterrestrials? The elongated skulls in Egypt and Peru. Were they inspired by alien visitors, or were they themselves aliens? The origins of the zombie. Almost every ancient culture in the world has some kind of myth of the dead coming back to life. The Haitian practice of voodoo. The story of Jesus and Lazarus. The importance of blood rituals to the Mayans. Many cultures have vampires, or vampire-like creatures, in their mythology. End of the world mythology, and the return of the gods. Near-death experiences. Notes: Aliens and the Undead? Come on! Of course I love this one the most! Incidentally, it also happens to be the very first episode of the show I ever saw, and is what interested me in it in the first place. Giorgio’s hair:
And that’s it! Do you like the show? What’s your favourite episode? Let me know!!
These were incredibly hard to rank, harder than any other decade, because this is the decade that I grew up in and started to mold my mind into what kind of media I’d like for the rest of my life. I saw most of these films before I was 10 years old (yes, I was probably too young for some of them), and they’re imprinted permanently into my brain. It was very hard to keep the list to 30 (not as hard as it was in the upcoming 90s list, but still). So here they are, my top 30 movies of the 80s!
Number 30
Title:Weird Science Year: 1985 Plot: Two high-school nerds use a computer program to literally create the perfect woman, who promptly turns their lives upside-down. Starring: Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Bill Paxton, Robert Downey Jr Directed by: John Hughes Based on: The comic book Weird Science #5: Made of the Future by Al Feldstein Notes: Yes, it’s got some problematic things in it, but this film is so much fun! A classic teen movie (made way before I was a teen) that just makes me laugh. Plus, it’s fun to see Bill Paxton (rip) and Robert Downey Jr in early roles.
Number 29
Title:The Secret of NIMH Year: 1982 Plot: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she suspected. Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Peter Strauss, Arthur Malet, Hermione Baddeley, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, John Carradine, Paul Shenar Directed by: Don Bluth Based on: The book Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien Notes: One of my absolute favourites growing up. I kept on wanting it higher on the list, but there are simply too many amazing movies from this decade! Also, I had no idea that Shannen Doherty (rip) and Wil Wheaton were the voices of two of the Brisby kids!
Number 28
Title:Ghostbusters Year: 1984 Plot: Armed with proton packs, four paranormal investigators battle mischievous ghouls in New York. Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Rick Moranis, William Atherton, Slavitza Jovan Directed by: Ivan Reitman Based on: An original screenplay written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis Notes: What can I say about this film? It’s an absolute classic! It never fails to make me laugh.
Number 27
Title:Silver Bullet Year: 1985 Plot: In a small town, brutal killings start to plague the close-knit community. Marty Coslaw, a paraplegic boy, is convinced the murders are the doings of a werewolf. Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O’Quinn, Bill Smitrovich Directed by: Daniel Attias Based on: The novella Cycle of the Werewolf by Stephen King Notes: Corey Haim (rip) was one of the first actors that I remember really having a crush on when I was a kid after seeing him in The Lost Boys and Watchers. He’s much younger in this film, but still adorable. The film itself is fun, and the werewolf effects were pretty good for the time. I miss practical effects…
Number 26
Title:The Serpent and the Rainbow Year: 1988 Plot: An anthropologist goes to Haiti to research a drug that makes someone appear dead by suspending all vital signs. Starring: Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Zakes Mokae, Paul Winfield, Michael Gough, Brent Jennings, Conrad Roberts, Badja Djola Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: The non-fiction book The Serpent and the Rainbow by Wade Davis Notes: The author famously hated the film, and it faced some serious backlash for its fictionalized portrayal of Haitian Vodou and the Haitians in general. But, and I may be wrong here, it’s a fictional movie. It never pretends to be a true story. I loved this film, I thought it was a very neat and different angle to the zombie story.
Number 25
Title:Warlock Year: 1989 Plot: A warlock flees from the 17th to the 20th century, with a witch-hunter in hot pursuit. Starring: Julian Sands, Richard E Grant, Lori Singer, Mary Woronov, Kevin O’Brien Directed by: Steve Miner Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy Notes: This film is so good. The film takes its subject matter seriously, even though the premise is kind of silly. Wonderfully campy and acted better than most movies in its genre, it’s definitely a gem of the 80’s. And Julian Sands (rip), my goodness. One of my very first crushes on a grownup. I can still picture tween me watching this with hearts in my eyes, hehe.
Number 24
Title:Pet Sematary Year: 1989 Plot: After tragedy strikes, a grieving father discovers an ancient burial ground behind his home with the power to raise the dead. Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Brad Greenquist, Miko Hughes, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl Directed by: Mary Lambert Based on: The book Pet Sematary by Stephen King Notes:Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Stephen King books, and this happens to be a great adaptation. Sure, they changed some things, but on the whole, they did an awesome job. It’s sure to give you goosebumps!
Number 23
Title:Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Year: 1989 Plot: In 1938, after his father goes missing while pursuing the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones finds himself up against the Nazis again to stop them from obtaining its powers. Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix Directed by: Steven Spielberg Based on: An original screenplay written by Jeffrey Boam Notes: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s more, I just don’t acknowledge them). The addition of Sean Connery (rip) as Indy’s dad is wonderful. They really seem like a father and son.
Number 22
Title:Rock & Rule Year: 1983 Plot: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him. Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul Le Mat, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Catherine Gallant, Catherine O’Hara Directed by: Clive A Smith Based on: Loosely based on the short story The Devil and Daniel Webster by Stephen Vincent Benét Notes: I don’t remember how I came to see this film. I know we didn’t own the vhs. Maybe taped off of late night tv? In any case, this little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.
Number 21
Title:From Beyond Year: 1986 Plot: A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms. Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Ken Foree, Ted Sorel, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon Directed by: Stuart Gordon Based on: The short story From Beyond by HP Lovecraft Notes: I tend to love adaptations of Lovecraft’s works even when they aren’t that good. This one is great, with a wonderful lead performance by Jeffrey Combs (the go-to actor for Lovecraft adaptations). The practical effects are stunning and hold up well, even today.
Number 20
Title:Beetlejuice Year: 1988 Plot: The spirits of a deceased couple are harassed by an unbearable family that has moved into their home, and hire a malicious spirit to drive them out. Starring: Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Glenn Shadix Directed by: Tim Burton Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson Notes: Back when Tim Burton was still at the top of his game. So much fun, completely off the wall bonkers, and I love every second of it. It’s wickedly funny with awesome practical effects, it’s been one of my favourites since I was a kid.
Number 19
Title:Return to Oz Year: 1985 Plot: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful. Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog Directed by: Walter Murch Based on: The books Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum Notes: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.
Number 18
Title:Amadeus Year: 1984 Plot: The life, music, and death of musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Starring: Tom Hulce, F Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice, Simon Callow, Christine Ebersole, Jeffrey Jones, Charles Kay Directed by: Milos Forman Based on: The play Amadeus written by Peter Shaffer, also based on a true story… more or less Notes: I knew going into it that it wasn’t historically accurate. And do I care? Not a lick. I know a biopic is supposed to tell a true story, and I’m sorry that people might think that this is the way things actually went down, but I’ll be damned if I don’t just love this film to pieces. Fart jokes and all.
Number 17
Title:Moonstruck Year: 1987 Plot: Loretta Castorini, a bookkeeper from Brooklyn, finds herself in a difficult situation when she falls for the brother of the man she has agreed to marry. Starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia, Danny Aiello, John Mahoney Directed by: Norman Jewison Based on: An original screenplay written by John Patrick Shanley Notes: I absolutely love this film. Cher is wonderful (and disgustingly beautiful) as Loretta, and her chemistry with Nicolas Cage’s Ronnie is electric. This is one of my very favourite chick flicks.
Number 16
Title:The Neverending Story Year: 1984 Plot: Troubled Bastian “borrows” a book from a bookstore and dives into the world of Fantasia where a dark Nothing is destroying everything. The only one who can save the day is young warrior Atreyu. Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, Alma the Horse Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen Based on: The book Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende Notes: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. I’m surprised it’s not higher on my list because I literally wore the vhs out, but that just goes to show how awesome 80s films were. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed the character in age, about 7 years later.
Number 15
Title:Ladyhawke Year: 1985 Plot: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse. Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina Directed by: Richard Donner Based on: An original screenplay written by Edward Khmara, Michael de Guzman, Tom Mankiewicz, and David Peoples Notes: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.
Number 14
Title: The Great Mouse Detective Year: 1986 Plot: Detective Basil of Baker Street investigates the kidnapping of a toy maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan. Starring: Barrie Ingham, Vincent Price, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek, Candy Candido, Alan Young, Diana Chesney Directed by: Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, John Musker Based on: The book series Basil of Baker Street by Eve Titus Notes: One of my very favourite Disney films, surpassed only by one, which is later in the list. I absolutely love this little mousey version of Sherlock Holmes, and Vincent Price (rip) as the villain? Of course he is. No one could have done it better.
Number 13
Title:A Nightmare on Elm Street Year: 1984 Plot: In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him. Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Nick Corri, Charles Fleischer, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley Directed by: Wes Craven Based on: An original screenplay written by Wes Craven, although he was heavily inspired by real-life news reports of refugees dying in their sleep from extreme nightmares, often referred to as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. Notes: This was the very first horror movie I ever saw, which means I was just a wee thing (only 3 or 4 years old) when I partially saw it from where I was hiding while my cousins, who thought I was in bed, were watching. And it’s stuck with me ever since, still one of my favourites, even with the sometimes laughable acting and effects. When a movie is this good, lots of stuff can be over-looked!
Number 12
Title:Poltergeist Year: 1982 Plot: A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorize the family before they kidnap the youngest daughter. Starring: Craig T Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Heather O’Rourke, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Martin Casella, Zelda Rubinstein Directed by: Tobe Hooper Based on: An original screenplay written by Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, and Mark Victor, although they were heavily inspired by the supposed true haunting of the Hermann family in Long Island, in 1958. Notes: An absolute classic of the genre, it’s still one of the very best haunted house films ever made, even 44 years later. Also, I hate clowns, even toy ones *shudder*
Number 11
Title: The Princess Bride Year: 1987 Plot: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young woman, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince. When her love turns out to be alive, he sets about rescuing her from the prince’s clutches. Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane Directed by: Rob Reiner Based on: The book The Princess Bride by William Goldman Notes: This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alike. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Number 10
Title:The Goonies Year: 1985 Plot: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave. Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, Anne Ramsey Directed by: Richard Donner Based on: An original screenplay written by Chris Columbus, based on a story by Steven Spielberg Notes: I can’t count the number of times I watched this as a kid. It’s so much fun with lots to appeal to both kids and adults. Adventure, danger, traps, and even a little romance.
Number 9
Title:Near Dark Year: 1987 Plot: After being bit by a beautiful vampire, a young man is given an ultimatum by her family: make a kill within a week, or die. When he realizes he can’t kill, he and the girl run off, with her family in hot pursuit. Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, Joshua John Miller, Tom Thomerson Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow Based on: An original screenplay written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red Notes: The other vampire film that came out in 1987, this one is decidedly more adult, and was criminally overlooked. I saw this for the first time as a teenager, and it had everything a teenage girl could possibly want. Romance, eye candy, and lots and lots of blood. Oh yeah!
Number 8
Title:Willow Year: 1988 Plot: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen. Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro Directed by: Ron Howard Based on: An original screenplay by Bob Dolman, based on a story by George Lucas Notes: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for its time, it still holds up very well today. Plus, Val Kilmer (rip) is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was one of my very first adult crushes.
Number 7
Title:Aliens Year: 1986 Plot: Decades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring. Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews Directed by: James Cameron Based on: An original screenplay written by James Cameron, although he acknowledged inspiration from Robert A Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers Notes: Simply the best space/alien movie ever, full stop. I saw this (probably way too young) on tv when I was about 8 or 9 and have loved it since then. Action packed and tense, with killer effects, this film rocks!
Number 6
Title:The Black Cauldron Year: 1985 Plot: A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can. Starring: Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Freddie Jones, Nigel Hawthorne, John Byner, Arthur Malet, Phil Fondacaro, John Hurt Directed by: Ted Berman, Richard Rich Based on: The first two books in The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander, titled The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron Notes: This is my favourite Disney movie, and probably their darkest. It didn’t do well upon release, so that put an end to “dark Disney”, which was a real shame for weirdo kids like me.
Number 5
Title:The Dark Crystal Year: 1982 Plot: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world. Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz Based on: An original screenplay written by David Odell, based on a story created by Jim Henson and Frank Oz Notes: So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. I’m not sure what the people who made children’s movies were on in the 80s, but I want some. This film is both heartwarming and tense, with simply stunning puppetry and locations.
Number 4
Title:Fright Night Year: 1985 Plot: A teen becomes suspicious of his new neighbour when bodies of young women are found dumped in trash bags. He soon realizes the suave, handsome man is an evil vampire, and he tries to enlist the help of a tv vampire slayer to stop him. Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, Art Evans Directed by: Tom Holland Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Holland Notes: One of the original great horror-comedies, this film is fun, campy, and scary. The actors are perfect in their roles, especially Chris Sarandon as the evil yet seductive Jerry Dandridge. The remake, while nowhere near as good as this one, is still worth a gander.
Number 3
Title:Legend Year: 1985 Plot: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves. Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo Directed by: Ridley Scott Based on: An original screenplay written by William Hjortsberg, although he was heavily inspired by classic fairy tales and Celtic art, particularly the book Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee. Notes: I’m not sure if the creators of this film intended it to be a kids film or an adults, but I know I saw it as a kid (of course I did). This film, effects-wise, was so far ahead of its time that it would be impressive even if it came out today. And Tim Curry is deliciously evil as Darkness (although I heard that he hated the makeup process, those horns weighed a ton!)
Number 2
Title:Labyrinth Year: 1986 Plot: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours. Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud Directed by: Jim Henson Based on: An original screenplay written by Terry Jones, based on a story by Jim Henson and Brian Froud, although they acknowledged they were heavily inspired by Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak Notes: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie (rip) is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time. They just don’t make them like this anymore. What a pity…
Number 1
Title:The Lost Boys Year: 1987 Plot: When brothers Sam and Michael move to a new town after their parents’ divorce, they quickly realize that the town is over-run by vampires. Sam gets help from self-appointed vampire slayers, but for Michael it may be too late… Starring: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Keifer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Barnard Hughes, Edward Herrmann, Jamison Newlander, Alex Winter, Billy Wirth, Brooke McCarter, Chance Michael Corbitt, Folsom the Dog, Cody the Dog Directed by: Joel Schumacher Based on: An original screenplay written by Janice Fischer and James Jeremias Notes: It was the first vampire movie I ever saw, and was the beginning of a life-long love affair with all things that go bump in the night. I was 6 when this came out, and my mom bought it on vhs and hid it from me, saying it was “too scary”. By the time she’d caught me with it, I’d already watched it about 20 times. Not too scary for this weirdo!
And there it is, 30 of the best films from the 80s. I had a hell of time choosing between Labyrinth and The Lost Boys as my number 1, I think I love them both equally. And I do think the ranking is pretty fluid here. A lot of these can be interchangeable, depending on my mood.
Shout-outs go to the following films for almost making the list:
Watchers Re-animator Cellar Dweller Just One of the Guys Pretty in Pink The Breakfast Club Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Twice Upon a Time Stand By Me Firestarter
Some of these were so close to making the list that it hurt to leave them off, but adding them would just make an already long list even longer, so here they are.
I love watching lists on YouTube, and one of the guys I like watching is Daniel over on The Cobwebs Channel. He’s a fan of all things horror, so his lists often reflect that. One series of videos he made is his favourite horror films of each decade, starting with the 30s. I was inspired to make my own version of that, but not only horror films. So be prepared for a grab bag of stuff, hehe. I’m not really a fan of old timey films, so my first post will be for the 70s and before, and I was only able to find 12 that I really loved. Starting next post, though, it’ll be a top 30, and I had all the trouble in the world to keep it at 30. So, without further ado, here’s my favourite films of the 70s (and before)!
Number 12
Title:Cleopatra Year: 1963 Plot: Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt experiences both triumph and tragedy as she attempts to resist the imperial ambitions of Rome. Starring: Elizabeth Taylor, Rex Harrison, Richard Burton, George Cole, Hume Cronyn, Cesare Danova, Kenneth Haigh, Andrew Keir, Martin Landau, Roddy McDowall, Robert Stephens, Pamela Brown Directed by: Joseph L Mankiewicz, Rouben Mamoulian Based on a book?: Yes, The Life and Times of Cleopatra by Carlo Maria Franzero Notes: I absolutely love ancient history, so it’s almost a given that I’d love this. It’s beautiful, it’s lush, the costumes are out of this world (and cost a pretty penny, even in 1960s terms). The only reason it’s not higher up on the list is the second half of the film lulls a bit and is not nearly as good as the first half. The film is also unbelievably long, clocking in at 5h 20m, which I wouldn’t have minded if the Marc Antony part was as good as the Julius Caesar part.
Number 11
Title:The Rocky Horror Picture Show Year: 1975 Plot: A rain-soaked couple take refuge in the castle of a (sweet) transvestite mad scientist from outer space who is about to unveil his greatest creation. Starring: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O’Brien, Patricia Quinn, Little Nell Campbell, Peter Hinwood, Jonathan Adams, Meat Loaf, Charles Gray Directed by: Jim Sharman Based on a book?: No Notes: I hated this film the first time I saw it. I don’t even remember who got me to give it a second chance, but I thank them. This is one of only 2 musicals in any of these lists, cause I’m generally not a fan (I’m not counting Disney films as musicals, they’re their own beast). It’s silly, it’s campy and it’s a lot of fun.
Number 10
Title:Dracula Year: 1979 Plot: In 1913, the charming, seductive and sinister vampire Count Dracula travels to England in search of an immortal bride. Starring: Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier, Kate Nelligan, Donald Pleasence, Trevor Eve, Jan Francis, Tony Haygarth Directed by: John Badham Based on a book?: Yes, Dracula by Bram Stoker Notes: This is the first iteration of Dracula that I ever saw (when I was probably too young), and so when I saw Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1992, I was confused as to why they switched Mina and Lucy’s characters. Imagine my surprise when I read the book and found that the ’92 version had the right of it. I still have no idea why this version switched the names. It’s a little long winded at times, but it’s a beautiful film, Langella is very smooth as the Count.
Number 9
Title:Psycho Year: 1960 Plot: A woman on the run stops for the night at a lonely motel where she meets the nice, if a little odd, Norman Bates. Starring: Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles, John Gavin, Martin Balsam, John McIntire, Simon Oakland Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock Based on a book?: Yes, Psycho by Robert Bloch Notes: What can I say about this classic, besides the fact that it’s almost surprising I like it as much as I do? I’m generally not a fan of old timey movies, and I’m generally not a fan of slashers, but there are exceptions to everything. I also can’t deny the effect that this film had on the horror industry as a whole. Being done by a respected director, it put the whole world on notice that horror was more than B-movies.
Number 8
Title:The Ghost and Mrs Muir Year: 1947 Plot: In 1900, a young widow finds her seaside cottage is haunted and forms a unique relationship with the ghost. Starring: Gene Tierney, Rex Harrison, George Sanders, Edna Best, Vanessa Brown, Anna Lee Directed by: Joseph L Mankiewicz Based on a book?: Yes, The Ghost and Mrs Muir by Josephine Leslie (under the pseudonym RA Dick) Notes: Such a cozy, warm movie. I loved the interaction between the gruff old sea captain’s ghost and the eponymous Mrs Muir. I really don’t have much to say about this film besides I was pleasantly surprised that I loved it.
Number 7
Title:Some Like it Hot Year: 1959 Plot: After two male musicians witness a mob hit, they flee the state in an all-female band disguised as women, but further complications set in. Starring: Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Marilyn Monroe, George Raft, Pat O’Brien, Joe E Brown, Joan Shawlee Directed by: Billy Wilder Based on a book?: No Notes: I absolutely love this film. Yes, the relationships are a little problematic when you think too hard about it, but it’s so charming, so romantic, even funny at times. And Marilyn Monroe was stunning!
Number 6
Title:Invasion of the Body Snatchers Year: 1956 Plot: A small-town doctor learns that the population of his community is being replaced by emotionless alien duplicates. Starring: Kevin McCarthy, Dana Wynter, Larry Gates, King Donovan, Carolyn Jones, Jean Willes, Ralph Dumke, Virginia Christine Directed by: Don Siegel Based on a book?: Yes, The Body Snatchers by Jack Finney Notes: When this title is brought up, it’s usually the 70s version that gets all the love. But I prefer this one by leaps and bounds. The sense of creeping dread is there just under the surface, and it’s wonderfully executed.
Number 5
Title:Robin Hood Year: 1973 Plot: Robin Hood, an outlaw with a heart of gold, must save his beloved Nottingham from the evil Prince John all the while wooing his childhood love, Maid Marian. Starring: Brian Bedford, Phil Harris, Monica Evans, Peter Ustinov, Terry-Thomas, Andy Devine, Pat Buttram, Roger Miller, Carole Shelley Directed by: Wolfgang Reitherman, David Hand Based on a book?: While the story itself originates from poems written starting in the 14th century, the first real book written about Robin Hood was The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle Notes: This was one of my favourite movies growing up, so imagine my surprise to learn that it was not well received when it came out. Sure, the character of Little John is basically just Baloo from The Jungle Book (even voiced by the same actor), but the film itself is fun and sweet with some great songs.
Number 4
Title: The Last Man on Earth Year: 1964 Plot: When a disease turns all of humanity into the living dead, the last man on earth becomes a reluctant vampire hunter. Starring: Vincent Price, Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli, Giacomo Rossi Stuart, Umberto Raho Directed by: Ubaldo Ragona, Sidney Salkow Based on a book?: Yes, I Am Legend by Richard Matheson Notes: Vincent Price is an absolute legend in the horror community, and even though I haven’t seen many of his films, I know this. This film is dark, bleak, and lonely, with a gut punch ending. An absolute hidden classic in my opinion.
Number 3
Title:Wizards Year: 1977 Plot: On a post-apocalyptic Earth, a wizard and his faire folk comrades fight an evil wizard who’s using technology in his bid for conquest. Starring: Bob Holt, Jesse Welles, Richard Romanus, David Proval, Steve Gravers, Jim Connell, Peter Hobbs, Mark Hamill Directed by: Ralph Bakshi Based on a book?: No Notes: I saw this when I was way too young to appreciate the gravity of what was happening in this world. Now that I’m older, I still love it, but for entirely different reasons. This animation is definitely not for kids. Unless, of course, we’re talking about a kid like me, hehe.
Number 2
Title:The Sword in the Stone Year: 1963 Plot: A poor boy named Arthur learns the power of love, kindness, knowledge and bravery with the help of a wizard called Merlin in the path to become one of the most beloved kings in English history. Starring: Rickie Sorensen, Karl Swenson, Junius Matthews, Sebastian Cabot, Norman Alden, Martha Wentworth, Alan Napier Directed by: Wolfgang Reitherman, Clyde Geronimi, David Hand Based on a book?: Yes, The Sword in the Stone by TH White Notes: This is one of my absolute favourite Disney movies of all time. While my love of others that I saw as a kid has somewhat faded, I can still watch this one and love it as much as I did back then. It’s so much fun! The scene where Archimedes is laughing his ass off at Merlin after he got his beard stuck in the propellers of a toy airplane gets me every time.
Number 1
Title:The Exorcist Year: 1973 Plot: When a malevolent entity possesses a young girl, her mother seeks the help of two Catholic priests to save her life. Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Jason Miller, Max von Sydow, Lee J Cobb, Kitty Winn, Jack MacGowran, William O’Malley, Rudolf Schündler Directed by: William Friedkin Based on a book?: Yes, The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty Notes: As if this is a surprise to anyone who knows me. Thinking of other horror films of the era, this one just stands head and shoulders above the rest. It’s such a bleak film, dealing with things such as the loss of faith and despair. Yes, of course, there are the gross out and scary scenes, but the film is so much more then that. I strongly recommend it to anyone who loves horror and for some reason still haven’t seen it. It holds up surprisingly well for a film made in the early 70s.
And that’s my list! What are your favourites? Stay tuned for the 80s, coming soon!
Abraham’s Boys (2025) Titus Welliver, Brady Hepner, Judah Mackey, Jocelin Donahue, Aurora Perrineau, and Jonathan Howard Directed by: Natasha Kermani
This one popped up on Shudder the other day, and being the vampire fanatic that I am, I was excited and put it on as soon as I had time. And… oh boy.
Years after defeating Dracula, Abraham Van Helsing and his wife Mina are raising their 2 sons on a seculded ranch. After finding a woman locked up under the house, the boys are told that the evil has followed them, and the monsters must be erradicated. But who’s the real monster?
SPOILERS INCOMING
Now listen. The concept is amazing. 10/10. It’s based on a story written by Joe Hill, so I’m not overly surprised. But the execution… eh. I’ll start with the acting, which ranged from mediocre to laughably bad. I don’t like to harp on child actors, cause it’s a tough gig, but man. There are good child actors out there. The movie looked decent. They got a suitably creepy old house to film in (not sure if it’s “new old” or “old old”), and the dusty, desolate landscape just adds to the ambiance they were going for.
The idea that Van Helsing is simply a murderer that tricked people into thinking there were real vampires is actually really solid. I guessed it from the beginning of the film, but that’s because I’ve seen movies before. I know how they work (most of the time. I still get surprised every so often.) I tried to track down the source material, but could not find it for the life of me. Should anybody read this and knows where to find it, please let me know. The pacing was all over the place, sometimes so slow that you wonder if anything is happening at all, and other times almost frenetic with its movements. I’m not sure what they were going for, but whatever it was, they failed.
So do I recommend it? Eh. Not really. Unless you’re a diehard fan of vampires. But then again, there were no vampires in this vampire movie. Vampire adjacent? Yeah, that’s it. 5/10
Nosferatu (2024) Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Ralph Ineson, and Emma Corrin Directed by: Robert Eggers
So, I’ve been meaning to write about this one since I saw it in the cinema when it came out. But I’ve been really bad at blogging these days, so I never got around to it. I’m trying to break the cycle now, so here it is.
Newly-wed Ellen is haunted by an evil vampire who is infatuated with her. When her husband goes to the vampire’s castle to settle the agreement of buying a new house in Germany, he becomes a prisoner while the vampire is free to pursue Ellen.
I went into this very hesitantly. Nosferatu (1922) is, of course, a classic, and I absolutely adore Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992). I didn’t think that this movie would show me anything new while remaining faithful to the source material. I also am not a huge fan of Robert Eggers as a director. Well, I was very wrong. I absolutely adored this film. At 2 hours and 12 minutes, it’s quite long for a horror film, but it didn’t feel long to me. I found the pacing, while, yes, a little slow, perfect, and I was never bored. Didn’t look at my watch once!
I know that Eggers is a stickler for detail, and wants everything in a period piece to be perfect. So I was not surprised at how beautiful the film is. The costuming, the sets, the setting, everything was on point. The one tiny nit-pick I have is why do the characters all have British accents when this film takes place in Germany. I was quite surprised at that. But otherwise this film is near perfect. Bill Skarsgård already proved that he was able to portray a monster in It, and he does it again here. He absolutely oozes evil from every pore. And I was rather surprised at Lily-Rose Depp. I honestly didn’t think much of her besides the fact that she’s Johnny’s daughter (nepo-baby!!). But she embraced this role whole-heartedly and really gave it her all. She was wonderful. The rest of the main cast I already knew were going to be great.
So do I recommend it? Absolutely, with a caveat. If you’re (very) easily bored, or are not a fan of horror, then no. I tried to show this to my mom and she made it only a quarter of the way through, saying it’s boring. But me? 9.5/10. Very nearly perfect!
The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dastmalchian, Woody Norman, Chris Walley, Stefan Kapicic, Jon Jon Briones, Martin Furulund, Nikolai Nikolaeff, and Javier Botet Directed by: André Øvredal
Ok, so I went into this not knowing what to expect. I can tell you what I was hoping for though. A genuinely scary vampire film. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the various tame Dracula‘s, or even the Twilight‘s, but I wanted to be scared this time. And let me tell you, this film is almost there. Almost. The Nosferatu-esque makeup is genuinely creepy, and it moves with the creep factor that only Javier Botet (or Doug Jones, for that matter, but it’s Botet in this film) can bring. It does a good job of making the story feel claustrophobic and atmospheric. Having the whole film take place on a ship might’ve been risky, especially since it runs at 2 hours, but I was never bored. I was actually nervous for the characters, which is probably because they do a good job of setting them up, and the actors do an excellent job of portraying them.
Despite all this, the ultimate scare factor just wasn’t there. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, maybe I’ve just seen so many horror films that they leave me cold in the scares department. Or maybe it was that the kills were mostly done with cgi. The blood just doesn’t fall right when it’s not really there. I miss practical effects, but cgi can be a good companion to it when used sparingly. Unfortunately, it was not used sparingly in this film. I was still horrified at the burning scenes, but I think that has more to do with me being inherently afraid of fire than of it looking good. When makeup was really used, it was done very well, so why didn’t they… ah, never mind. Cgi is the thing now, I guess I should just get used to it.
In the end, though, I did quite enjoy the film, and would recommend it to anyone who loves vampire films like I do (Marilyn Manson’s If I Was Your Vampire popped up quite randomly on my Spotify as I write this, I’m amused). I give it a very respectable 7.5/10.
M.
This film is available for rent or buy on YouTube and Amazon Prime.
SIGNS OF THE GODS? Written by: Erich von Däniken Read by: Peter Berkrot Notes: A lot of what was in this book they’ve talked about in Ancient Aliens, but it was a fun read nonetheless. Crazy as all hell, but interesting. Score: 8/10
SERIAL KILLERS: TRUE CRIME ANTHOLOGY 2014 Written by: Various, including Peter Vronsky and RJ Parker Read by: Me Notes: Enjoyed this one much more than the 2015 one, but that’s just because I didn’t have to listen to that droning voice reading it. Score: 8/10
MAYA TO AZTEC: ANCIENT MEZOAMERICA REVEALED Written by: Edwin Barnhart Read by: Edwin Barnhart Notes: Awesome, awesome, awesome! If you have even only a passing interest in the Mayans and/or other Mezoamerican cultures, I highly recommend this set of lectures. It was over 23 hours, but I absolutely inhaled it, and got sad when I had to turn it off. Score: 10/10
DEAD EVER AFTER Written by: Charlaine Harris Read by: Me Notes: So I finally got around to reading the last of the Sookie Stackhouse books (that’s the books that True Blood was based on… in the beginning, anyways). And it was a fine conclusion to the story, all ends neatly clipped and taken care of. While she didn’t end up with the person I’d hope she’d spend her life with in the end, I can’t dislike it just for that (like I’ve read from other readers). Score: 8/10
DEAD ICE Written by: Laurell K Hamilton Read by: Kimberly Alexis Notes: Finally, a strong entry from the Anita Blake series. The series, now at 26 books, has been in steady decline, but looks like Hamilton is finally listening to her readers, and took Anita’s head out of her ass, and gave her stuff to do other than complain and have power-gaining orgies. In this book, Anita goes back to her roots, and Hamilton delivers a fine book filled with zombies, magic, and crazy bad guys. It would have had a perfect score, but Hamilton tends to repeat herself… a lot. A good 2 or 3 hours could have been shaved off the 20 hour reading time easily, I’m sure, and we’d have lost none of the current story. Score: 8/10
GREAT PHARAOHS OF ANCIENT EGYPT Written by: Bob Brier Read by: Bob Brier Notes: A little disappointed with this one, not because it’s uninteresting, but because it’s an almost word for word redux of certain lectures from his The History of Ancient Egypt, which I’d already listened to. Still gets a perfect score, though, because it is still an excellent set of lectures. Score: 10/10
THE VIKINGS Written by: Kenneth W Harl Read by: Kenneth W Harl Notes: Awesome beginning, meh middle, good end. The middle was meh because they went on and on about the Viking’s conversion to Christianity. The first lecture about it was fine. But then there were more; how Sweden converted, how Finland converted, how Norway converted, how Iceland converted, how… we get it, they converted, move on. And the, um, lecturer, uh, always seemed to, uh, need to, um, search for his, er, words. I got used to it, but it was annoying at first. There were also people occasionally heard in the background, and there was a constant humming sound, like he was right beside an AC or something. Score: 7/10
THE HISTORY OF ANCIENT ROME Written by: Garrett G Fagan Read by: Garrett G Fagan Notes: I really want to give this one a perfect score, cause it was so very interesting, but I can’t. Not with this lecturer. I did finally manage to get used to his way for speaking, but it took me half the course. He’d pause right in the middle of……. a sentence, for a real long time sometimes, too. But the course was so amazing that I’m only going to knock him half a point for it. Score: 9.5/10
LOST WORLDS OF SOUTH AMERICA Written by: Edwin Barnhart Read by: Edwin Barnhart Notes: Not quite as good as Maya to Aztec, but still very, very good. You can almost never go wrong with The Great Courses. Score: 10/10
RED LAND, BLACK LAND Written by: Barbara Mertz Read by: Lorna Raver Notes: Absolutely stunning portrayal of life in Ancient Egypt, told with perspective and humour. Excellent! Score: 10/10
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING Written by: Stephen Hawking Read by: Michael York Notes: Excellent, but rather repetitive if you, like I, have already read A Brief History of Time. Still, the man is brilliant, no denying that! Score: 9/10
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