Tag Archives: reviews

May 5 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: As Above, So Below

As Above, So Below (2014)
Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, François Civil, Edwin Hodge, Marion Lambert, Ali Marhyar, Cosme Castro
Directed by: John Erick Dowdle

This movie has been on my radar for a good while now, but I never quite got around to it. I generally don’t like found footage films, so that was probably the big reason I didn’t see it. But after seeing a YouTuber I like watching gush about it a few times, I decided to give it a go. And boy, do I kinda feel dumb now.

A team of explorers ventures into the forbidden areas of the Catacombs of Paris looking for the fabled Philosopher’s Stone and come to realize that not all is as it seems.

First, I gotta get the bad out of the way. There were some severely shaky cam moments that I really didn’t enjoy. A lot of shaky cam makes me nauseous. Thankfully, there wasn’t too much of it. And really, that’s all the bad I can say about this film. It was pretty awesome. The acting is usually pretty sketchy in these types of movies, but the cast all did a really good job. The film was actually filmed in the Catacombs, which is both awesome and creepy at the same time. I’d love to visit that one of these days. As a cool bit of trivia, this was the first ever production that secured permission from the French government to film in the Paris Catacombs, both in the public and in the off-limits area. They got permission the night before shooting began.

SPOILERS INCOMING

So after the group actually finds the stone, and a lot of other treasure, it triggers a trap that causes a cave in. The group are forced to go even deeper into the underground, and that’s when shit really starts to get weird. I loved the slowly unravelling mystery of what was going on, and when we finally see the inscription “Abandon all hope ye who enter here” I knew I was in for something special. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Hell has been depicted many ways over the decades, but I’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s such a great idea, being literally what’s in the title of the film. The idea that you’re in a hell of your own making, and only facing your trauma can set you free has been done before (very well in the wonderful film What Dreams May Come), but not quite like this. So if the only thing keeping you from watching this is the fact that it’s a found footage film, I can assure you that it’s such a good film that it makes the found footage element barely an issue.

So, do I recommend it? In case I haven’t made it clear yet, yes yes yes. Absolutely wonderful, it gets a 9/10 from me. It might have been a 10 if it hadn’t been found footage. Go watch it, now!

M.

This film is not currently streaming anywhere, but is available for rental or purchase on YouTube or Amazon Prime.

Apr 21 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Color Out of Space

Color Out of Space (2019)
Nicolas Cage, Madeleine Arthur, Joely Richardson, Brendan Meyer, Julian Hilliard, Elliot Knight, Tommy Chong, Josh C Waller
Directed by: Richard Stanley

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see this one, which I guess is why it took so long for me to decide to watch. But I’m very glad I did.

The Gardner family lives on a remote farm. One night a meteor falls from the sky in a flash of light. The consequences of this might just be apocalyptic.

I’m generally not a fan of Nic Cage going nuts. I read the story this movie was based on, and didn’t think it would benefit from a Cage-ian meltdown (or 5). But I’m glad I finally watched it, it was quite good. Cage actually delivers what, for him, is a very subdued performance… for the first half anyways. He gets progressively more unhinged as the movie goes on, but in context, it really works. He’s supposed to be slowly losing his mind, and no one does that better than Cage.

The film looks beautiful. They decided on a stunning shade of pink for the actual colour, and it’s not a colour generally found in nature, so it gave everything a surreal, dreamlike quality when it was flying around. I have to give the movie major props for not trying to explain the colour, either. Lovecraft’s work is mostly about the unknown and unknowable, and this movie beautifully captured this. The colour simply was, no explanation needed. Actually, this movie has to be the most Lovecraftian Lovecraft adaptation I’ve ever seen, and that’s impressive.

Everything in the film is quite well done. The pacing, while a little slow at first, really finds its footing in the second half. The acting is all pretty good, the characters believable. The makeup and gore effects were pretty amazing, too. I won’t go too much into it, just in case anyone else hasn’t seen it yet and my review helps them wants to, but suffice to say the practical effects are on full glorious display and I was totally there for it.

So, do I recommend it? If you’re a fan of Lovecraft, yes, absolutely. If you need explications for things, you may not like it. Me? I give it a very good 8/10.

M.

This movie isn’t streaming anywhere (in Canada) right now, but it’s available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.

ps: it was really hard for me to write the title as “Color”…

Apr 20 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Annabelle Comes Home

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Mckenna Grace, Madison Iseman, Katie Sarife, Michael Cimino, Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson
Directed by: Gary Dauberman

I was so excited when the first Annabelle movie came out because I’m such a big fan of the Conjuring franchise. And then I saw it and all the wind came out of my sails cause it sucked. Bad. So when this one came out, I had no intentions of watching yet another crappy spin-off. But I’m glad I finally did. It’s a good time.

Ed and Lorraine Warren bring the evil Annabelle doll to their house to contain the evil inside a glass case. But when the Warrens leave for the weekend and leave their young daughter Judy with a babysitter, the evil is accidentally unleashed to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting teens.

I had zero expectations going into this film. And while it doesn’t recreate the wheel or anything, it’s still fun. All the acting was good, which is always a bonus in horror movies. The plot, while slightly predictable and formulaic, was still good. It takes a while setting up the characters, so you actually care about them when shit starts to go south. There’s some decent atmosphere going on and, while not really scary, it’s still fun in its intensity. And they got me once with a very loud jump-scare. Usually I can tell they’re coming from a mile away, but this one got me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Well played, Annabelle Comes Home, well played. I will dock them a point for reusing a scare from The Conjuring 2, though. It would have been effective had we not seen it before.

Everything else was on par with what I’ve come to expect from a Conjuring movie. The makeup was really well done, it had some creepy set pieces, and it was nicely shot. And Joseph Bishara played the hell out of his strings, as per usual.

So, do I recommend it? Sure, with the caveat that you have to be a fan of the franchise. I’m not sure how much enjoyment one would get out of it if they weren’t already familiar with the characters and the world since the film doesn’t take much time to explain it. As for me, I give it a good 7/10. I had fun with it. Grab your popcorn and enjoy!

M.

This movie is not currently streaming anywhere (in Canada), but you can purchase or rent it from Amazon Prime or YouTube.

Apr 10 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Woman in the Yard

The Woman in the Yard (2025)
Danielle Deadwyler, Peyton Jackson, Estella Kahiha, Okwui Okpokwasili, Russell Hornsby
Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra

I’m always weary about Blumhouse pictures. They can be really good, but they can also be total shite. This one seems to fall somewhere in the middle.

When a mysterious woman giving cryptic warnings appears in the yard of a recently widowed mother of 2 children, she must fight the ever-increasing threat the woman poses.

Grief as horror is a slightly tired trope by now, but there’s no denying that if it’s done right, it can pack a punch. This one doesn’t quite get there. The acting was mostly ok except for a few scenes with the youngest daughter doing her impression of a block of wood. But a good quarter, maybe more, of the film is literally just the mother telling her son not to do something and him ignoring her. It got real old, real fast. The Woman does cut an imposing figure, but this is a PG-13 film, so there’s not much horror to be had. It’s mostly a psychological drama with some supernatural elements.

SPOILERS INCOMING (and trigger warning: suicide)

I had guessed at the beginning of the film that the mother was the woman, at least part of the time. Having her be an extension of the mother’s grief could have been a good idea in the hands of a better filmmaker. And I wasn’t a fan of the end. Now I’ve seen other people say that because the painting was so big and the backwards writing was so small that she didn’t kill herself, but the grief is still there, just under control. But most people, myself included, think that she did pull that trigger and this is either heaven or her mind just before she dies. Which is HORRIBLE. As someone who’s had severe depression and suicidal thoughts, this movie is borderline irresponsible in saying that her happy ending was at the end of a gun. The suicide prevention blurb at the end of the film was not enough to undo that.

So do I recommend it? Meh, not really, unless you’re a Blumhouse completionist. It gets a very mid 5/10 from me.

M.

This film is streaming on Amazon Prime.

Apr 9 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Vigil

The Vigil (2019)
Dave Davis, Menashe Lustig, Lynn Cohen, Malky Goldman, Ronald Cohen, Fred Melamed (v.o.)
Directed by: Keith Thomas

This movie had been in my Shudder watchlist for literal years. I just never watched it. I finally did and it wasn’t really anything special.

A man providing overnight watch to a deceased member of his former Orthodox Jewish community finds himself opposite a malevolent entity.

So first, I know absolutely nothing about Jewish culture. I got the basic drift of what was happening though. The film is half in Hebrew, so there’s some subtitles to read. The biggest problem I had with the film is that everything was always so slow. The man’s reaction times to things that are happening seems to be stretched out. Static shots on something that might move (i.e. is that body going to move?) were really really long. It felt almost like the filmmakers were trying to pad the runtime of the film. It clocks in at 89 minutes, so maybe they felt that by doing this, they’d have a decent runtime. But it just made most of the movie unbearably boring most of the time.

The acting was fine, nothing special, but fine. The makeup, however, was pretty bad. The demon hands you see near the end of the film were laughable. I don’t know if they meant to have it look so DIY, but it really does look like something I could make in my basement. It was competently shot, except of course the aforementioned long shots. I will give it credit for an interesting idea, though. A demon that feeds on pain could make a great movie. Just not this one.

So do I recommend it? Not really. There’s nothing here that I’d really say needs to be seen. Best to skip this one. It gets a 4/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder and Amazon Prime.

Mar 31 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Mortuary Assistant

The Mortuary Assistant (2026)
Willa Holland, Paul Sparks, John Adams, Keena Ferguson Frasier, Mark Steger, Emily Bennett
Directed by: Jeremiah Kipp

This movie just dropped on Shudder a few days ago. I had no idea what it was, and the blurb made it sound like a generic possession film, with the same basic premise as The Possession of Hannah Grace. But since I’m a sucker for possession films, I decided to give it a go. And oh boy…

Rebecca is a newly appointed mortician and gets a call from her boss that he needs her for a night shift. When she arrives, strange things begin to happen, and she finds herself in a life-or-death struggle with a demon.

I’d heard this was based on a video game before watching it. But since I’d had a good time with Until Dawn recently, I decided to give this one a go. What a mistake. This film is awful, bordering on embarrassing. The lead gave such a one-note performance, and the man who played her boss was literally made out of wood. It was a confused, jumbled mess, with scenes that had nothing to do with each kind of stitched together. I don’t need every little thing spelled out for me in a film, but a little would be nice. Even the exposition dump that we got didn’t explain anything. I imagine that if I’d played the game, I might have understood a bit of what was going on. But you shouldn’t have to have played the game to understand the film. The film should stand on its own. I will give credit where credit is due, however. The makeup and gore effects were top notch. Too bad they were in such a turd of a film.

So do I recommend it? No, absolutely not. What a waste of my time. 3/10

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Mar 6 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Perewangan

Perewangan (2024)
Davina Karamoy, Beby Evelyn, Ully Triani, Shanty, Septian Dwi Cahyo, Syifa Aulia, Randy Nidji
Directed by: Awi Suryadi

I watched this off my Shudder watchlist last night. I enjoy demon-y type movies, so I figured I’d give this little Indonesian film a chance. And it was… fine.

After a woman is seemingly possessed, the shock sends her husband to a psychiatric hospital. But the real terror waits for her children after the father comes home.

I’m not even sure I have enough to say about this for a full blog post, but I’ll try. It was an altogether average film. The acting was fine. The story was fine, if a little uninspired. The camerawork was fine, although it did get a little annoying with the weird angles sometimes. The demon looked ok, but again, uninspired. One thing I really didn’t like, though, was their over-reliance of cgi. There were hardly any makeup effects, it was all cg. It takes away from a film, I find, if over-used. The one big makeup they had was some shots of the demon itself, and honestly, it looked a little silly. The film was also over-long, clocking in at 1 hour 49 minutes. 20 minutes could have easily been shaved off this thing.

I didn’t know anything about this demon, the Perewangan, because it’s from Javanese folklore. The word means “helper” and is basically a demon you summon to grant you what you want, but it must be fed. And if you don’t, you’re cursed and possessed. It’s multigenerational as well, so even if you kill yourself or something, that won’t stop it. It’s a pretty common myth, they have something like that from many cultures around the world, but they could have done something more interesting with the concept, I’m sure. And the ending is, in a word, typical.

So do I recommend it? Meh, not really. There’s not much to recommend. It gets a fine 5/10 from me.

M.

This is currently streaming on Shudder.

Feb 15 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Witchboard

Witchboard (1986)
Todd Allen, Tawny Kitaen, Stephen Nichols, Kathleen Wilhoite, Burke Byrnes, James W Quinn, JP Luebsen
Directed by: Kevin Tenney

I was in the mood for a fun, cheesy horror movie last night, and noticed this was on Shudder, so I put it on. And while it lacked a bit of that 80’s charm, it was still pretty good.

When a woman becomes terrorized by a spirit after using a Ouija board by herself, her fiancé and her ex, who used to be his best friend, must join forces to find out how to save her.

This is one of the few “bigger” horror B movies from the 80’s that I hadn’t seen yet. After hearing about it from Daniel over at The Cobwebs Channel, I decided to take the plunge. It was lacking a bit on the fun and even the cheese. It takes itself pretty seriously (except maybe with the character of Zarabeth) and therefor lacked a bit. But what I did get was a pretty good haunting/possession film (not good enough to edge out any of the top 15 I did, hehe). Tawny Kitaen, otherwise known as a “Video Vixen“, was surprisingly good in the role of the terrorized woman, and although she’s drop dead gorgeous, her hair… oh my god. It’s SOO fried, like too much bleach and teasing fried. I know it was the 80’s, but damn! Use some conditioner! Her fiancé was played well by Todd Allen. The character is aloof and a bit of an asshole but still you’re rooting for him. And the ex best friend, whoa those eyeballs! So green! There weren’t a lot of effects, just one decapitation that looks a little funny. And what little makeup effects we got were done well. All in all, it’s a good time.

Do I recommend it? Sure, if you enjoy 80’s films. If you don’t, I’d advise against it. I give it a good 7.5/10.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Feb 1 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Weapons

Weapons (2025)
Julia Garner, Josh Brolin, Alden Ehrenreich, Benedict Wong, Amy Madigan, Cary Christopher, Austin Abrams, Scarlett Sher (v.o.)
Directed by: Zach Cregger

This film was on a lot of people’s Best Of lists for 2025. And I gotta say, I don’t understand the hype.

When all the children save one in a teacher’s classrom leave their houses in the middle of the night and vanishes, a small town is thrust into a mystery where anyone and every one are suspects.

So this is a film by Zach Cregger. Had I known that going in, maybe my expectations would have been more tempered. I didn’t hate Barbarian, but I didn’t love it either. I have to say, I enjoyed the first act. The mystery, the suspense, it was all great. The characters are imperfect, just like real life. But then the second act, where we find out what’s actually going on (which I won’t spoil in case anyone still has yet to see it and wants to), I was left very cold. I was like “Oh, It’s (redacted). Is that it?” And then the third act, holy shit. It was so silly, so over the top. People in the cinema with me were laughing out loud, and so was I, but not in a good way. Had it have been comedic all the way through, then maybe it wouldn’t have been so jarring.

But, I have to give credit where credit is due. The film looked beautiful. There were a few creepy moments. And all the acting was superb, and I’m not mad that Amy Madigan got an Oscar nod. Actually, horror is doing well at the Oscars this year, and I’m here for it. Now to see if they actually win any… But I digress. I just feel like Cregger picked the low hanging fruit as his reveal. I’m not saying I could have written it better, but he should have.

Now for the hard part. Do I recommend it? No… and yes. Knowing how many people adored this thing, I would say “I didn’t care for it, but so many others loved it, so give it a shot.” As for me, I give this a 5/10.

M.

Dec 18 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring – Last Rites

The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025)
Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy, Steve Coulter, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Beau Gadsdon, and Kíla Lord Cassidy
Directed by: Michael Chaves

The 4th and supposed final film in the wildly popular Conjuring franchise, I had high hopes for this film, seeing how much I loved the others. And while it’s not a bad movie by any means, it is the least good of the bunch.

Ed and Lorraine find themselves this time facing an entity that hits a little too close to home when it reaches out to attack their daughter, Judy.

I was so excited for this film that I did something I never do: I bought the film as soon as it was available on YouTube for either 25 or 30 bucks. I’m not exactly swimming in the dough, so I generally wait til it’s at least down to 15. And while I’m not entirely mad for spending the money, it really could have waited. Ah well.

First the good. It had a banger of an opening. Very atmospheric, very creepy. I was all in at that point. After that, however, things just got a little… formulaic I guess you could say. I can picture the producers sitting around the table smoking cigarettes and saying “just do what the others did and, oh, add tons of jumpscares and creepy smiles. People like those, right?” I really don’t know why every single entity has to smile these days. Sure, once can be creepy, if it’s done right. But all of them? All the time? Nah. The Conjuring had zero creepy smiles and was so much creepier. But I digress.

Everything in the film looked good. Most of the effects and makeup were very well done, as usual. It’s a little gorier than the previous entries, but it was done well. I even had to look away once (I’m not a huge fan of gore, it tends to make me cringe and look away). The acting was all good, but it has been consistently good for these films, so I wasn’t too surprised there. There were a few good, creepy set pieces, but unfortunately most of them ended with a “graaaahhhh!” jumpscare (cue over-dramatic musical sting here).

So do I recommend it? Yes? I guess? If you loved the series as I do, you’ll likely have a good time with it. It’s definitely not bad, just a little underwhelming as a final curtain film. I give it a decent 7/10.

M.

This film is currently for rent or purchase on YouTube and Prime.