My Top 30 Films of the 2010’s

The 2010โ€™s saw a significant decline in the number of movies and shows I was watching. I was mostly watching science, history, and nature documentaries at this time. But I still managed to watch some bangers, so here are the 30 best films I saw in the 2010โ€™s.

Number 30

Title: Before I Wake
Year: 2016
Plot: After tragically losing their own son, a man and his wife welcome an eight-year-old foster child into their lives, and soon discover he has a strange ability.
Starring: Kate Bosworth, Thomas Jane, Jacob Tremblay, Annabeth Gish, Topher Bousquet, Dash Mihok
Directed by: Mike Flanagan
Based on: An original screenplay written by Mike Flanagan and Jeff Howard.
Notes: After seeing The Haunting of Hill House, I decided that Mike Flanagan was the one to watch, and promptly watched almost everything he did from that point on. Before I Wake is just a lovely dark fairy tale with just enough creep in it to call it a horror movie.

Number 29

Title: The Blackcoatโ€™s Daughter
Year: 2015
Plot: During winter break, two students stay in an all-girls boarding school in the company of a terrifying presence.
Starring: Emma Roberts, Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Boynton, James Remar, Lauren Holly, Greg Ellwand, Elana Krausz, Heather Tod Mitchell
Directed by: Osgood Perkins
Based on: An original screenplay written by Osgood Perkins.
Notes: Oz Perkins (son of the legendary Anthony Perkins) is definitely another one to watch, at least some of the time. Iโ€™ve seen only 3 of his films, but have loved 2 of them (I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House is a total snore-fest). Theyโ€™re twisty-turny, and youโ€™re never quite sure where heโ€™s going with the story. Iโ€™ve been meaning to watch his 4 other films, but havenโ€™t gotten around to it yet.

Number 28

Title: World War Z
Year: 2013
Plot: Former United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop a zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatens to destroy humanity itself.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Matthew Fox, Fana Mokoena, David Morse, Peter Capaldi
Directed by: Marc Forster
Based on: The book World War Z written by Max Brooks.
Notes: Now, I never read the book this film is based on. Iโ€™ve been told that had I read it, this movie would have insulted me. As it is, I found it a fun, popcorny good time.

Number 27

Title: Eli
Year: 2019
Plot: A boy receiving treatment for his auto-immune disorder discovers that the house he’s living in isn’t as safe as he thought.
Starring: Charlie Shotwell, Kelly Reilly, Max Martini, Lili Taylor, Sadie Sink, Deneen Tyler, Katia Gomez
Directed by: Ciarรกn Foy
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Chirchirillo.
Notes: This one surprised me. I thought I was in for a standard haunted house fare, which isnโ€™t a bad thing, but then it flipped the switch and became something totally unexpected. Quite a good little film. Even my boyfriend liked it, and he doesnโ€™t do horror.

Number 26

Title: Ouija: Origin of Evil
Year: 2016
Plot: In 1967 Los Angeles, a young girl tries to communicate with her late father through a Ouija board, but unleashes a demon instead.
Starring: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas, Parker Mack, Halle Charlton, Alexis G Zall, Doug Jones
Directed by: Mike Flanagan
Based on: An original screenplay written by Mike Flanagan and Jeff Howard.
Notes: Thereโ€™s some really bad cgi in this, but on the whole itโ€™s really quite good. So much better than the first Ouija film. Mike Flanagan was really starting to show what an awesome filmmaker he is here. The Haunting of Hill House came soon after, and that show just blew me away.

Number 25

Title: The Innkeepers
Year: 2011
Plot: During the final days at the Yankee Pedlar Inn, two employees determined to reveal the hotel’s haunted past begin to experience disturbing events as old guests check in for a stay.
Starring: Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, Kelly McGillis, Alison Bartlett, Jake Ryan
Directed by: Ti West
Based on: An original screenplay written by Ti West, based on his real-life experiences at the supposedly haunted Yankee Pedlar Inn.
Notes: This is definitely a slow burn, but unlike Westโ€™s other film House of the Devil, this one actually goes somewhere. Thereโ€™s a nice, creepy atmosphere, an empty hotel is always a good choice for a haunting.

Number 24

Title: The Vatican Tapes
Year: 2015
Plot: A priest and two Vatican exorcists must do battle with an ancient satanic force to save the soul of a young woman.
Starring: Olivia Taylor Dudley, Michael Peรฑa, Dougray Scott, John Patrick Amedori, Peter Andersson, Djimon Hounsou, Kathleen Robertson
Directed by: Mark Neveldine
Based on: An original screenplay written by Christopher Borrelli and Michael C Martin.
Notes: I wasnโ€™t expecting much when I pulled this out of the bargain bin at WalMart. Imagine my surprise when I actually loved it! No, it doesnโ€™t reinvent the wheel, but itโ€™s a fun, creepy good time.

Number 23

Title: Legion
Year: 2010
Plot: An out-of-the-way diner becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in humankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity’s only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner with the fallen Archangel Michael.
Starring: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S Dutton, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Durand, Doug Jones
Directed by: Scott Stewart
Based on: An original screenplay written by Scott Stewart and Peter Schink.
Notes: A great idea executed very well, besides a little bit of questionable cgi. And how hot was Paul Bettany in this era? Whew! fans self

Number 22

Title: Evil Dead
Year: 2013
Plot: Five friends head to a remote cabin to help one of them get clean, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods.
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore
Directed by: Fede Alvarez
Based on: An original screenplay written by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues, which is a soft reboot of the film The Evil Dead written and directed by Sam Raimi.
Notes: I loved this film, but I will probably never watch it again. The gore is much more gory than I usually like it, but they did a really good job with this film. I hated the original, so I was hesitant to see this one, but was pleasantly surprised to see that all the silliness of the original was gone, replaced by a dour, bleak atmosphere.

Number 21

Title: Europa Report
Year: 2013
Plot: An international crew of astronauts undertakes a privately funded mission to search for life on Jupiter’s fourth largest moon.
Starring: Sharlto Copley, Michael Nyqvist, Christian Camargo, Embeth Davidtz, Daniel Wu, Karolina Wydra, Anamaria Marinca, Isiah Whitlock Jr
Directed by: Sebastiรกn Cordero
Based on: An original screenplay written by Philip Gelatt.
Notes: Some minor technical issues aside, this film is refreshingly accurate when it comes to science fiction. There was a great attention to detail, and it paid off. Very well done.

Number 20

Title: The Void
Year: 2016
Plot: Shortly after delivering a patient to an understaffed hospital, a police officer experiences strange and violent occurrences seemingly linked to a group of mysterious hooded figures.
Starring: Aaron Poole, Kathleen Munroe, Ellen Wong, Kenneth Welsh, Art Hindle, Stephanie Belding, James Millington
Directed by: Jeremy Gillespie, Steven Kostanski
Based on: An original screenplay written by Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie, although they were heavily inspired by HP Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos.
Notes: When cosmic horror is done right, it can be really awesome. When done wrong, itโ€™s silly and dumb. This movie falls into the former category. So good. And the practical effects were really great. Itโ€™s always good to see filmmakers who donโ€™t rely too heavily on cgi.

Number 19

Title: Insidious
Year: 2010
Plot: Josh and Renai Lambert move into their new home with their three children. As a mysterious accident leaves their boy, Dalton, in a science-defying coma for months, blood-chilling occurrences in the house can only mean one thing: something evil has set its sights on robbing the Lamberts of what they hold dear.
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Barbara Hershey, Joseph Bishara
Directed by: James Wan
Based on: An original screenplay written by Leigh Whannell.
Notes: A creepy story written by Leigh Whannell, masterfully directed by James Wan, and a moody-ass, string-heavy score by Joseph Bishara, there was no way this film was going to be bad. I did find the last 20 minutes or so a little silly, but it was still very well done.

Number 18

Title: Incarnate
Year: 2016
Plot: A scientist with the ability to enter the subconscious minds of the possessed must save a young boy from the grips of a demon with powers never seen before, while facing the horrors of his past.
Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Carice van Houten, David Mazouz, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Keir O’Donnell, Matt Nable, Emily Jackson, Paul Vincent O’Connor
Directed by: Brad Peyton
Based on: An original screenplay written by Ronnie Christensen.
Notes: I never see anyone talk about this movie, and itโ€™s a damned shame. The idea is so good, Iโ€™m surprised I havenโ€™t seen more like this. Aaron Eckhart was great as the broken scientist whoโ€™s still doing good in the world despite himself.

Number 17

Title: A Quiet Place
Year: 2018
Plot: A family struggles for survival in a world invaded by blind alien creatures with ultra-sensitive hearing.
Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe, Cade Woodward
Directed by: John Krasinski
Based on: An original screenplay written by Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, and John Krasinski.
Notes: Such a great idea and executed almost perfectly. Even the cgi aliens didnโ€™t bother me so much, they were really well done.

Number 16

Title: Star Trek Into Darkness
Year: 2013
Plot: After the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction.
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldaรฑa, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Benedict Cumberbatch, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Greenwood, Leonard Nimoy
Directed by: JJ Abrams
Based on: An original screenplay written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Damon Lindelof. Based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry.
Notes: I know Iโ€™m probably in the minority here, but I really loved this movie. Itโ€™s just a fun, action packed good time. Now, would I have loved it as much without Benedict? Hm, hard to sayโ€ฆ

Number 15

Title: Devil
Year: 2010
Plot: A group of strangers are trapped in an elevator while a detective watches them via the elevatorโ€™s security cameras. Soon it becomes clear that they arenโ€™t alone in there, and they begin dying, one by one.
Starring: Chris Messina, Logan Marshall-Green, Caroline Dhavernas, Bokeem Woodbine, Jenny O’Hara, Bojana Novakovic, Geoffrey Arend, Jacob Vargas, Matt Craven
Directed by: John Erick Dowdle
Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan and Brian Nelson.
Notes: Another one that doesnโ€™t get talked about enough. Such a simple premise, but itโ€™s executed flawlessly. Itโ€™s always a gamble to have your entire film set in one location, but this was never boring.

Number 14

Title: Winterโ€™s Tale
Year: 2014
Plot: One night in winter, Peter Lake, orphan and master-mechanic, attempts to rob a fortress-like mansion on the Upper West Side. Though he thinks the house is empty, the daughter of the house is home. Thus begins the love between Peter and Beverly Penn, a young lady who is dying.
Starring: Colin Farrell, Jessica Brown Findlay, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Jennifer Connelly, Ripley Sobo, Scott Grimes, Graham Greene, Kevin Durand, Finn Wittrock, Will Smith, Novelisto D (Listo) the Horse
Directed by: Akiva Goldsman
Based on: The book Winterโ€™s Tale written by Mark Helprin.
Notes: Movies donโ€™t get much more schmoopy than this, folks. Disgustingly romantic, filmed beautifully, with a haunting score by Hans Zimmer, this movie is simply beautiful. And bring a whole box of Kleenex. Youโ€™re gonna need it!

Number 13

Title: Sinister
Year: 2012
Plot: A controversial true-crime writer finds a box of Super 8 home movies in his new home, revealing that the murder case he is currently researching could be the work of an unknown serial killer whose legacy dates back to the 1960s.
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Michael Hall D’Addario, Clare Foley, James Ransone, Vincent D’Onofrio, Fred Thompson, Nicholas King
Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Based on: An original screenplay written by Scott Derrickson and C Robert Cargill.
Notes: This movie got a 6.8 on IMDb, which is amazing for a horror film. Ethan Hawke gives an amazing performance under Scott Derricksonโ€™s masterful direction. It was a match made in heaven.

Number 12

Title: The Cabin in the Woods
Year: 2011
Plot: Five young people visit a remote cabin and explore its cellar, finding strange items. When Dana reads from a book there, she unleashes zombie killers. But the situation is more complex than it appears.
Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker, Tom Lenk, Dan Payne, Jodelle Ferland
Directed by: Drew Goddard
Based on: An original screenplay written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard.
Notes: I had no intention of seeing this film after watching the trailer. Meh, I thought, another teen slasher, no thanks. But then I saw it: โ€œwritten by Joss Whedonโ€. And that changed everything. I was already a huge fan of his from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, so I had to see it. And boy, am I glad I did. This movie is the perfect balance of comedy and horror, and the idea is just so damn good. Sure, Joss Whedon is a piece of shit, but he knows how to write!

Number 11

Title: The Autopsy of Jane Doe
Year: 2016
Plot: Sheriff Burke delivers an unidentified body to Tommy and Austin Tilden. As they perform an autopsy, impossible discoveries emerge. Each new finding deepens a mystery that threatens their survival.
Starring: Brian Cox, Emile Hirsch, Olwen Catherine Kelly, Ophelia Lovibond, Michael McElhatton, Sydney the Cat
Directed by: Andrรฉ ร˜vredal
Based on: An original screenplay written by Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing.
Notes: I had to wait so long to watch this film because it wasnโ€™t available on any platform in Canada. Finally, I was able to buy it on YouTube, and let me tell you, it was worth all the trouble. This film is tense from start to finish, each new layer more interesting than the next.

Number 10

Title: Warm Bodies
Year: 2013
Plot: After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, Analeigh Tipton, Rob Corddry, Dave Franco, Cory Hardrict
Directed by: Jonathan Levine
Based on: The book Warm Bodies written by Isaac Marion, with some inspiration taken from William Shakespeareโ€™s Romeo and Juliet.
Notes: Parts funny, parts romantic, and parts tense, this film really delivers. Anyone saying itโ€™s just Twilight with zombies has obviously never seen the film. The book is also good, albeit a bit darker.

Number 9

Title: Warcraft
Year: 2016
Plot: As an Orc horde invades Azeroth using a magic portal, a few human heroes and dissenting Orcs must attempt to stop the true evil behind this war.
Starring: Travis Fimmel, Paula Patton, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell (v.o.), Ben Schnetzer, Ben Foster, Robert Kazinsky (v.o.), Ruth Negga, Daniel Wu (v.o.), Clancy Brown (v.o.), Anna Galvin (v.o.), Callum Keith Rennie, Burkely Duffield
Directed by: Duncan Jones
Based on: The Warcraft game series created by Blizzard Entertainment.
Notes: As an avid player of World of Warcraft, I was super excited when this was announced. I waited with bated breath and when it finally came out, I went to see it on opening night, which I never do. And it did not disappoint. Besides engaging characters and clever dialog, this film looks beautiful. I generally donโ€™t like when thereโ€™s too much cgi, but they really spared no expense making this movie, and you can see it. The Orcs look absolutely stunning, and the magic is suitably showy. Just wonderful.

Number 8

Title: The Avengers
Year: 2012
Plot: Earth’s mightiest heroes must come together and learn to fight as a team if they are going to stop the mischievous Loki and his alien army from enslaving humanity.
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg, Cobie Smulders, Stellan Skarsgรฅrd, Samuel L Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany (v.o.)
Directed by: Joss Whedon
Based on: The comic book series The Avengers created by Stan Lee for Marvel Comics.
Notes: Before superhero fatigue set in, I was all about the Marvel films, and this first Avengers movie remains the best of them. Written and directed by Joss Whedon, itโ€™s a fun, quippy, action packed good time.

Number 7

Title: Dracula Untold
Year: 2014
Plot: As his kingdom is being threatened by the Turks, young prince Vlad Tepes must become a monster feared by his own people in order to obtain the power needed to protect his family, and the families of his kingdom.
Starring: Luke Evans, Dominic Cooper, Sarah Gadon, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance, Diarmaid Murtagh, Paul Kaye, William Houston, Noah Huntley
Directed by: Gary Shore
Based on: A character from the book Dracula written by Bram Stoker (origin story).
Notes: Absolutely wonderful. They did a great job with the origin story of Dracula as Vlad the Impaler. I very much doubt he was as loving and kind as he was portrayed in the film, but thatโ€™s besides the point. My only gripe with the film is Dominic Cooper, whoโ€™s quite white, as a Turk. Other than that, itโ€™s almost perfect.

Number 6

Title: The Martian
Year: 2015
Plot: An astronaut stranded on Mars must rely on his ingenuity to survive and arrange a potential rescue.
Starring: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sean Bean, Michael Peรฑa, Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, Benedict Wong, Mackenzie Davis, Donald Glover
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Based on: The book The Martian written by Andy Weir.
Notes: I was very apprehensive about this movie. The book was one of the best Iโ€™d read in a long time, and I didnโ€™t want Hollywood to ruin it. I also wasnโ€™t thrilled at the casting of Matt Damon. Nothing against him, I just didnโ€™t think he could pull off nerdy. Well, I had nothing to worry about. I think this has to be one of the best adaptations Iโ€™ve ever seen. Sure, there are parts missing, but thatโ€™s to be expected when you want to tell a story in or under 2 hours. Simply marvelous!

Number 5

Title: The Woman in Black
Year: 2012
Plot: A young solicitor travels to a remote village where he discovers that the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals.
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarรกn Hinds, Janet McTeer, Shaun Dooley, Mary Stockley, Jessica Raine, Liz White
Directed by: James Watkins
Based on: The book The Woman in Black written by Susan Hill.
Notes: Now this is how you do period piece horror! Dripping with atmosphere, itโ€™s suspenseful and sometimes scary. Itโ€™s a great ghost story. I havenโ€™t read the book, but I hear this was a good adaptation.

Number 4

Title: Crimson Peak
Year: 2015
Plot: A new bride investigates ghostly visions at a remote gothic mansion that holds dark secrets.
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Chastain, Charlie Hunnam, Jim Beaver, Burn Gorman, Doug Jones
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Based on: An original screenplay written by Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins.
Notes: I actually wasnโ€™t thrilled with this one the first time I saw it, mostly because it wasnโ€™t entirely what I expected. But subsequent viewings changed my mind, and now I think itโ€™s wonderful. The locations, the costumes, and yes, the actors, are all stunning.

Number 3

Title: Deliver Us from Evil
Year: 2014
Plot: New York police officer Ralph Sarchie begins investigating a series of disturbing and inexplicable crimes. He joins forces with an unconventional priest schooled in the rituals of exorcism, to combat the frightening and demonic possessions that are terrorizing their city.
Starring: Eric Bana, Edgar Ramรญrez, Olivia Munn, Joel McHale, Sean Harris, Chris Coy, Dorian Missick, Lulu Wilson, Olivia Horton
Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Based on: The book Beware the Night written by Ralph Sarchie and Lisa Collier Cool.
Notes: I absolutely love this movie. Itโ€™s dripping with atmosphere (literally, itโ€™s always raining), itโ€™s tense and scary. All the actors do a standout job.

Number 2

Title: It
Year: 2017
Plot: In the summer of 1989, a group of bullied kids band together to destroy a shape-shifting monster, which disguises itself as a clown and preys on the children of Derry, their small Maine town.
Starring: Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Jack Dylan Grazer, Chosen Jacobs, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Owen Teague, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgรฅrd
Directed by: Andy Muschietti
Based on: The book It written by Stephen King.
Notes: I have nothing but love for the original 1990 miniseries, Tim Curry was the bomb as Pennywise. But this is clearly the superior film. Itโ€™s tense, itโ€™s scary, and itโ€™s heartwarming all at the same time. The characters are wonderfully written (which is no surprise considering theyโ€™re Stephen King characters). And Bill Skarsgรฅrd really made the character his own and did an amazing job at it.

Number 1

Title: The Conjuring
Year: 2013
Plot: Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren work to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse.
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Joey King, Hayley McFarland, Kyla Deaver, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton, Mackenzie Foy, Sterling Jerins, Steve Coulter, Joseph Bishara
Directed by: James Wan
Based on: The book House of Darkness, House of Light by Andrea Perron.
Notes: Over the years, this has become my comfort movie. Whenever Iโ€™m not feeling well, or if I donโ€™t know what to do with myself, Iโ€™ll throw this film on. Itโ€™s so well done, we really care about the family since they spend time getting to know them. Whatever your thoughts on the real Ed and Lorraine Warren are (cough frauds cough), thereโ€™s no denying that their stories make for excellent films!

And thatโ€™s it! I hope you enjoyed my list. What are your favourites of the 2010โ€™s? Let me know!

M.

My Top 30 Films of the 90’s

I didn’t remember just how many amazing movies were made in the 90’s. I must have made a list of 50 films I loved and then had to pair it down to 30. I was not happy. And then just as I thought I was finished the list, a movie that I forgot came to mind and I had to shift everything. But I finally decided upon 30, so here they are, my 30 favourite films of the 90’s.

Number 30

Title: Scream
Year: 1996
Plot: In the small town of Woodsboro, California, a masked killer begins murdering high school students, and a group of friends must use their knowledge of horror movies to unmask the killer.
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Drew Barrymore, Roger Jackson (v.o.)
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: An original screenplay written by Kevin Williamson, although he was heavily inspired by the true story of the โ€œGainesville Ripperโ€, Danny Rolling, who murdered several college students in 1990.
Notes: So, I know, why is Scream all the way at number 30? Because I sometimes have weird tastes and thereโ€™s just 29 movies I love more, thatโ€™s why! But yes, of course, this movie is a modern classic. Iโ€™m generally not a fan of slashers, but this one is great.

Number 29

Title: The Iron Giant
Year: 1999
Plot: A young boy befriends a giant robot from outer space that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy.
Starring: Eli Marienthal, Harry Connick Jr, Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney, M Emmet Walsh, Cloris Leachman
Directed by: Brad Bird
Based on: The book The Iron Man by Ted Hughes.
Notes: This has to be one of my favourite animations ever. Itโ€™s both hilarious and heartwarming. Keep some kleenex close, youโ€™re gonna need it!

Number 28

Title: Practical Magic
Year: 1998
Plot: Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love.
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Dianne Wiest, Aidan Quinn, Goran Visnjic, Evan Rachel Wood, Alexandra Artrip
Directed by: Griffin Dunne
Based on: The book Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman.
Notes: The perfect blend of chick flick and supernatural. And how disgustingly beautiful were Sandra and Nicole?? My goodness..

Number 27

Title: The Matrix
Year: 1999
Plot: When a beautiful stranger leads computer hacker Neo to a forbidding underworld, he discovers the shocking truth: the life he knows is the elaborate deception of an evil cyber-intelligence.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Gloria Foster, Matt Doran, Julian Arahanga, Anthony Ray Parker
Directed by: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski
Based on: An original script written by the Wachowskiโ€™s, but they admitted to being heavily inspired by the philosophical book Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard.
Notes: This movie is, in a word, iconic. Never mind the slew of sequels that got progressively worse, this movie was so good. Great ideas paired with top-notch action scenes; it was a must-see of the 90s.

Number 26

Title: The Craft
Year: 1996
Plot: After transferring to a Los Angeles high school, Sarah finds that her telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals.
Starring: Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Skeet Ulrich, Breckin Meyer, Christine Taylor, Assumpta Serna
Directed by: Andrew Fleming
Based on: An original screenplay written by Peter Filardi and Andrew Fleming.
Notes: The other movie that came out in โ€™96 starring Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich, I personally prefer this one. Maybe itโ€™s because I identified more with the outcast goth girls? Probably. But this is just a fun witchcraft movie that I can still enjoy even though Iโ€™m no longer a teen.

Number 25

Title: Dragonheart
Year: 1996
Plot: The last living dragon and a disillusioned dragon-slaying knight must unite to stop an evil king, who was granted partial immortality.
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery (v.o.), Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Based on: An original screenplay written by Charles Edward Pogue and Patrick Read Johnson.
Notes: I havenโ€™t watched this since the early 2000s Iโ€™d wager, so I canโ€™t be sure if the cgi holds up. But I remember it being pretty great.

Number 24

Title: The Prophecy
Year: 1995
Plot: Archangel Gabriel is searching for the soul of a supremely evil human to win a war thatโ€™s raging between angels and bring hell on earth.
Starring: Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen, Amanda Plummer, Adam Goldberg, Moriah Shining Dove Snyder
Directed by: Gregory Widen
Based on: An original screenplay written by Gregory Widen.
Notes: Viggo as Lucifer is one of the most unsettling, even downright scary, things youโ€™ll ever see. Holy crap.

Number 23

Title: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Year: 1995
Plot: Three drag queens travel cross-country until their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town where they turn the residentโ€™s lives upside down.
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Jason London, Jennifer Milmore, Blythe Danner, Beth Grant, Alice Drummond, Chris Penn, Arliss Howard
Directed by: Beeban Kidron
Based on: An original screenplay written by Douglas Carter Beane.
Notes: I absolutely love this film and can watch it over and over. Itโ€™s so funny and heartwarming at the same time. And how beautiful is John Leguizamo as Chi Chi? My goodness..

Number 22

Title: The Mummy
Year: 1999
Plot: At an archaeological dig in the ancient city of Hamunaptra, an American serving in the French Foreign Legion accidentally awakens a mummy who begins to wreak havoc as he searches for the reincarnation of his long-lost love.
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J O’Connor, Oded Fehr, Erick Avari, Jonathan Hyde, Patricia Velasquez, Omid Djalili
Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Based on: An original screenplay written by Stephen Sommers, although it is a re-imagining of the 1932 Universal film of the same name.
Notes: Is this movie really only number 22? Wow, there were great movies in this decade! This film is so fun and of course I eat up anything even remotely about ancient Egypt. And 90’s Brendan Fraser? Yes please!

Number 21

Title: Ever After
Year: 1998
Plot: Danielle de Barbarac is a spirited young woman forced into servitude by her wicked stepmother after her father’s death, who falls in love with Prince Henry after a chance meeting.
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott, Melanie Lynskey, Megan Dodds, Patrick Godfrey, Lee Ingleby, Kate Lansbury, Walter Sparrow, Matyelok Gibbs, Judy Parfitt, Timothy West, Jeroen Krabbรฉ
Directed by: Andy Tennant
Based on: An original screenplay written by Susannah Grant, Andy Tennant, and Rick Parks, inspired by the 1697 Cinderella fairy tale written by Charles Perrault.
Notes: One of my very favourite chick flicks. Such a beautiful story and stupidly romantic, Danielle is actually a good role model for women and girls to follow.

Number 20

Title: House on Haunted Hill
Year: 1999
Plot: An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past.
Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Max Perlich, Jeffrey Combs
Directed by: William Malone
Based on: An original screenplay written by Robb White and Dick Beebe. It is a loose remake of the 1959 movie of the same name starring Vincent Price.
Notes: Now, I love Vincent Price, but gods was the original boring! And I have trouble with plastic skeletons on wires, Iโ€™ll be honest. This remake is slick and scary, perfectly updated for modern audiences.

Number 19

Title: Stargate
Year: 1994
Plot: An Egyptologist and a retired US Army Colonel unlock an ancient ring-shaped device discovered in Giza. They travel through a wormhole to the desert planet Abydos, where they discover a human civilization enslaved by the alien Ra, who poses as a god, and work to overthrow him to return home.
Starring: James Spader, Kurt Russell, Jaye Davidson, Alexis Cruz, Mili Avital, Erick Avari, Viveca Lindfors, Leon Rippy, John Diehl, Djimon Hounsou, Gianin Loffler
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Based on: An original screenplay written by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, inspired in part by ancient astronaut theory, notably Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Dรคniken.
Notes: Marrying ancient Egyptian-like culture and space travel? Sign me up! It also doesnโ€™t hurt that James Spader was an absolute fox.

Number 18

Title: Empire Records
Year: 1995
Plot: A tight-knit group of record store employees are fighting to save their independent shop from becoming a corporate chain store in a single, chaotic day.
Starring: Anthony LaPaglia, Rory Cochrane, Liv Tyler, Johnny Whitworth, Renรฉe Zellweger, Robin Tunney, Ethan Embry, Debi Mazar, Maxwell Caulfield, Brendan Sexton III, Coyote Shivers, James ‘Kimo’ Wills
Directed by: Allan Moyle
Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen, based on her personal experiences working at a Tower Records in Phoenix, Arizona.
Notes: I canโ€™t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.

Number 17

Title: Seven
Year: 1995
Plot: Two detectives try to track down a serial killer who chooses his victims based on the seven deadly sins.
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, R Lee Ermey, Richard Roundtree, Reg E Cathey, Peter Crombie, John Cassini, Kevin Spacey
Directed by: David Fincher
Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Kevin Walker.
Notes: Such a brilliant piece of film. Well written, well acted, with a gut-punch of an ending that will stick with you long after the movie is done.

Number 16

Title: The Silence of the Lambs
Year: 1991
Plot: A young FBI rookie is sent to ask the help of brilliant cannibalistic killer Dr Hannibal Lecter in catching another killer who kidnaps his victims, holds them for many days, then skins them to make a โ€˜woman suitโ€™.
Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Brooke Smith, Lawrence T Wrentz, Diane Baker
Directed by: Jonathan Demme
Based on: The book The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris.
Notes: This is, quite possibly, my favourite serial killer movie of all time. No surprises there, itโ€™s such a classic. Did you know, despite having top billing, Anthony Hopkins only has about 18 minutes of screen time?

Number 15

Title: Stigmata
Year: 1999
Plot: When a young woman becomes afflicted by stigmata, a priest is sent to investigate her case, which may have severe ramifications for his faith and for the Catholic church itself.
Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa
Directed by: Rupert Wainwright
Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Lazarus and Rick Ramage.
Notes: My lifelong crush on Gabriel Byrne aside, this is just an awesome movie. I must have seen it over 20 times, maybe even more! I love religious horror when itโ€™s done right.

Number 14

Title: It
Year: 1990
Plot: In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown.
Starring: Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Jonathan Brandis, Annette Oโ€™Toole, Emily Perkins, Harry Anderson, Seth Green, Dennis Christopher, John Ritter
Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace
Based on: The book It by Stephen King
Notes: I watched this when it came out, which meant I was 9 years old. Pennywise traumatized the crap out of me, and Iโ€™ve hated clowns ever since. But despite all this, I loved it and still do. Part two is not nearly as good as part one, which is why itโ€™s not higher on the list.

Number 13

Title: Hackers
Year: 1995
Plot: Teenage hackers discover a criminal conspiracy with plans to use a computer virus that will capsize five oil tankers unless a ransom is paid.
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, Alberta Watson
Directed by: Iain Softley
Based on: An original screenplay written by Rafael Moreu.
Notes: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, Iโ€™ve always had my own computer since then. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchinโ€™ soundtrack.

Number 12

Title: The Crow
Year: 1994
Plot: The night before his wedding, musician Eric Draven and his fiancรฉe are brutally murdered by members of a violent gang. On the anniversary of their death, Eric rises from the grave and assumes the mantle of the Crow, a supernatural avenger.
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Jon Polito, Tony Todd
Directed by: Alex Proyas
Based on: The graphic novel The Crow by James O’Barr
Notes: Iโ€™m generally not a huge fan of action movies, but this was a huge exception. With its gothic esthetic and supernatural elements, this became one of my all-time favourite movies.

Number 11

Title: Event Horizon
Year: 1997
Plot: A rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years. It did not come back alone.
Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Jason Isaacs, Jack Noseworthy, Richard T Jones, Sean Pertwee
Directed by: Paul WS Anderson
Based on: An original screenplay written by Philip Eisner.
Notes: This film scared the snot out of me when I first saw it when it came out (I was 16), and still manages to give me goosebumps today. A sign of a job well done!

Number 10

Title: The Exorcist III
Year: 1990
Plot: As a police lieutenant mourns on the anniversary of his friendโ€™s death (Father Karras, from the first film), a serial killer strikes whose MO is eerily similar to a killerโ€™s whoโ€™s been dead for 15 years.
Starring: George C Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller, Nicol Williamson, Scott Wilson, Nancy Fish, and George DiCenzo
Directed by: William Peter Blatty
Based on: The book Legion by William Peter Blatty.
Notes: This is the only sequel that The Exorcist should of had, instead of the abomination that was made (seriously, what the hell was that??) Itโ€™s a great story, and has real scares, with none of the camp that 90โ€™s horror was so famous for. A real, under-rated gem. It also has the best jumpscare ever.

Number 9

Title: The Stand
Year: 1994
Plot: After a man-made super flu kills 99% of the people on earth, the survivors band together into two groups, one drawn by dreams of a kind old lady, the others by an evil dark man.
Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Adam Storke, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Rob Lowe, Corin Nemec, Matt Frewer, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston
Directed by: Mick Garris
Based on: The book The Stand by Stephen King.
Notes: I saw this at 13 when it first aired on tv, and I hadnโ€™t read the book yet, which was probably a good thing, since it allowed me to love the mini-series, and not continuously compare it to the book. When I read the book a few years later, I was amazed at how much extra stuff was in it, but my love of the show was already cemented. Itโ€™s hopelessly dated, but itโ€™s still a fun watch.

Number 8

Title: Interview with the Vampire
Year: 1994
Plot: A man who has lost his wife and baby in childbirth is offered immortality by a charming but ruthless vampire. We follow him through his centuries of life as he tells his story to a young writer.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Stephen Rea, Domiziana Giordano, Indra Ovรฉ, Thandie Newton
Directed by: Neil Jordan
Based on: The book Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice.
Notes: So beautiful and sumptuous. Incredibly acted and written, it follows the book quite closely (which is to be expected when the author writes the screenplay). A lot of the actors donโ€™t look like their book counterparts, but the movie is so well done that I was able to forgive this.

Number 7

Title: Only You
Year: 1994
Plot: As a teen, Faith was told that her destiny is with a man named Damon Bradley. Years later, when she’s about to marry someone else, a Damon Bradley calls to wish them well, and Faith blows off her wedding to follow Damon to Italy.
Starring: Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr, Bonnie Hunt, Joaquim de Almeida, Fisher Stevens, Billy Zane, Adam LeFevre, Siobhan Fallon Hogan
Directed by: Norman Jewison
Based on: An original screenplay written by Malia Scotch Marmo.
Notes: Films donโ€™t get much more schmoopy than this, folks. This is the very definition of romantic. My heart flutters a little every time I see it.

Number 6

Title: Clueless
Year: 1995
Plot: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok.
Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, Dan Hedaya
Directed by: Amy Heckerling
Based on: The book Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based).
Notes: My favourite teen movie of all time. Itโ€™s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent, as rich teens probably actually are.

Number 5

Title: Jurassic Park
Year: 1993
Plot: An industrialist invites some experts to visit his theme park of cloned dinosaurs. After a power failure, the creatures run loose, putting everyone’s lives, including his grandchildren’s, in danger.
Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Samuel L Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Based on: The book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton.
Notes: The first, the original, and still the best. The effects more than hold up today.

Number 4

Title: Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1999
Plot: A slightly eccentric Constable is sent to the small town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate killings that the locals are sure were committed by a ghostly headless horseman.
Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Walken
Directed by: Tim Burton
Based on: The book The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving.
Notes: This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous. Simply wonderful.

Number 3

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Year: 1994
Plot: A wrongfully convicted banker forms a close friendship with a hardened convict over a quarter century while retaining his humanity through simple acts of compassion.
Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Directed by: Frank Darabont
Based on: The novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King.
Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I donโ€™t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. A wonderful story about the resilience of the human spirit.

Number 2

Title: The Sixth Sense
Year: 1999
Plot: After being shot by a resentful former patient whom he failed to help, a Philadelphia child psychologist seeks redemption by treating a young boy with a disturbing secret.
Starring: Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Trevor Morgan, Mischa Barton, Donnie Wahlberg
Directed by: M Night Shyamalan
Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan
Notes: I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw this for the first time, I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. We were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We couldnโ€™t. And thankfully, unlike a lot of films with such twists, this film is so good that even knowing whatโ€™s going to happen doesnโ€™t take any enjoyment away from the film.

Number 1

Title: Bram Stokerโ€™s Dracula
Year: 1992
Plot: After seeing a photograph of a woman who resembles his long-dead wife, a centuries old vampire travels to England to find her.
Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Cary Elwes, Richard E Grant, Tom Waits, Monica Bellucci
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Based on: The novel Dracula by Bram Stoker.
Notes: I wonโ€™t deny the effect that the classics have had on modern film. Without the original Universal monsters, we might not have near as many great movies as we do. But it stands that I have trouble with old timey films. So I much prefer this one to the original. So lush, so beautiful, romantic, sometimes creepy. Simply put, perfect. Besides Keanuโ€™s accent, of course! haha

And here are a few of the films that almost made the list, but not quite:

The Truth About Cats & Dogs
While You Were Sleeping
Stir of Echoes
Cruel Intentions
The Relic
From Dusk Till Dawn
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
10 Things I Hate About You
Twister
The Good Son
The Lion King
Get Real
The Witches
Army of Darkness
Romeo + Juliet
Little Women
Fried Green Tomatoes
Benny & Joon
The Cutting Edge
Dazed and Confused
Dark City
Total Recall
Canโ€™t Hardly Wait
Cry-Baby
Merlin
The Frighteners
The Pit and the Pendulum
Subspecies
Darkman

And there it was, my top 30 films of the 90’s! What are some of your favourites? Let me know!

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Mortuary Assistant

The Mortuary Assistant (2026)
Willa Holland, Paul Sparks, John Adams, Keena Ferguson Frasier, Mark Steger, Emily Bennett
Directed by: Jeremiah Kipp

This movie just dropped on Shudder a few days ago. I had no idea what it was, and the blurb made it sound like a generic possession film, with the same basic premise as The Possession of Hannah Grace. But since Iโ€™m a sucker for possession films, I decided to give it a go. And oh boyโ€ฆ

Rebecca is a newly appointed mortician and gets a call from her boss that he needs her for a night shift. When she arrives, strange things begin to happen, and she finds herself in a life-or-death struggle with a demon.

Iโ€™d heard this was based on a video game before watching it. But since Iโ€™d had a good time with Until Dawn recently, I decided to give this one a go. What a mistake. This film is awful, bordering on embarrassing. The lead gave such a one-note performance, and the man who played her boss was literally made out of wood. It was a confused, jumbled mess, with scenes that had nothing to do with each kind of stitched together. I donโ€™t need every little thing spelled out for me in a film, but a little would be nice. Even the exposition dump that we got didnโ€™t explain anything. I imagine that if Iโ€™d played the game, I might have understood a bit of what was going on. But you shouldnโ€™t have to have played the game to understand the film. The film should stand on its own. I will give credit where credit is due, however. The makeup and gore effects were top notch. Too bad they were in such a turd of a film.

So do I recommend it? No, absolutely not. What a waste of my time. 3/10

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Perewangan

Perewangan (2024)
Davina Karamoy, Beby Evelyn, Ully Triani, Shanty, Septian Dwi Cahyo, Syifa Aulia, Randy Nidji
Directed by: Awi Suryadi

I watched this off my Shudder watchlist last night. I enjoy demon-y type movies, so I figured Iโ€™d give this little Indonesian film a chance. And it wasโ€ฆ fine.

After a woman is seemingly possessed, the shock sends her husband to a psychiatric hospital. But the real terror waits for her children after the father comes home.

Iโ€™m not even sure I have enough to say about this for a full blog post, but Iโ€™ll try. It was an altogether average film. The acting was fine. The story was fine, if a little uninspired. The camerawork was fine, although it did get a little annoying with the weird angles sometimes. The demon looked ok, but again, uninspired. One thing I really didnโ€™t like, though, was their over-reliance of cgi. There were hardly any makeup effects, it was all cg. It takes away from a film, I find, if over-used. The one big makeup they had was some shots of the demon itself, and honestly, it looked a little silly. The film was also over-long, clocking in at 1 hour 49 minutes. 20 minutes could have easily been shaved off this thing.

I didnโ€™t know anything about this demon, the Perewangan, because itโ€™s from Javanese folklore. The word means โ€œhelperโ€ and is basically a demon you summon to grant you what you want, but it must be fed. And if you donโ€™t, youโ€™re cursed and possessed. Itโ€™s multigenerational as well, so even if you kill yourself or something, that wonโ€™t stop it. Itโ€™s a pretty common myth, they have something like that from many cultures around the world, but they could have done something more interesting with the concept, Iโ€™m sure. And the ending is, in a word, typical.

So do I recommend it? Meh, not really. Thereโ€™s not much to recommend. It gets a fine 5/10 from me.

M.

This is currently streaming on Shudder.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Witchboard

Witchboard (1986)
Todd Allen, Tawny Kitaen, Stephen Nichols, Kathleen Wilhoite, Burke Byrnes, James W Quinn, JP Luebsen
Directed by: Kevin Tenney

I was in the mood for a fun, cheesy horror movie last night, and noticed this was on Shudder, so I put it on. And while it lacked a bit of that 80โ€™s charm, it was still pretty good.

When a woman becomes terrorized by a spirit after using a Ouija board by herself, her fiancรฉ and her ex, who used to be his best friend, must join forces to find out how to save her.

This is one of the few โ€œbiggerโ€ horror B movies from the 80โ€™s that I hadnโ€™t seen yet. After hearing about it from Daniel over at The Cobwebs Channel, I decided to take the plunge. It was lacking a bit on the fun and even the cheese. It takes itself pretty seriously (except maybe with the character of Zarabeth) and therefor lacked a bit. But what I did get was a pretty good haunting/possession film (not good enough to edge out any of the top 15 I did, hehe). Tawny Kitaen, otherwise known as a “Video Vixen“, was surprisingly good in the role of the terrorized woman, and although sheโ€™s drop dead gorgeous, her hairโ€ฆ oh my god. Itโ€™s SOO fried, like too much bleach and teasing fried. I know it was the 80โ€™s, but damn! Use some conditioner! Her fiancรฉ was played well by Todd Allen. The character is aloof and a bit of an asshole but still youโ€™re rooting for him. And the ex best friend, whoa those eyeballs! So green! There weren’t a lot of effects, just one decapitation that looks a little funny. And what little makeup effects we got were done well. All in all, itโ€™s a good time.

Do I recommend it? Sure, if you enjoy 80โ€™s films. If you donโ€™t, Iโ€™d advise against it. I give it a good 7.5/10.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Mel’s 5 Second Review Double Feature: Superdeep & The Cleansing Hour

Superdeep (Kolskaya Sverhglubokaya) (2020)
Milena Radulovic, Nikita Dyuvbanov, Kirill Kovbas, Vadim Demchog, and Sergey Ivanyuk
Directed by: Arseniy Sukhin


So, I watched this one on a whim. I’d heard of the borehole, and the supposed recordings that came from it, and I thought that it made a good concept for a movie. Well, let me tell you, this was definitely not what I was expecting!

The Kola Superdeep borehole is the largest Russian secret facility. In 1984, at the depth of 12 kilometers below the surface, unexplained sounds were recorded, resembling screams and moans from hell. Since these events, the facility has been closed. A small research team of scientists and military personnel go down below the surface to find the secret hidden all these years.

So first, I watched this on Shudder, and they only had the English dub available. I usually don’t watch movies if they’ve been dubbed, so I’m not sure why I watched this one, but here it is. The actors they got for the dub were horrible. Simply wretched. The lead actress conveyed all the emotion of a stale scone. No matter what she was supposed to be doing or feeling, she had the same tone of voice. And the fact that the lips don’t move along with the voice drives me nuts.

The concept also didn’t seem to fit with what was advertised. “Sounds of hell” to me seems like it would involve demons, maybe ghosts, something in that line. What I got instead was a massive, cordyceps-like parasite. (If you don’t know what cordyceps are, they’re parasites that take over an ant’s nervous system, walks it back to its nest, or up to a high spot, and then spores will explode from the ant’s body, infecting everything around. Pretty creepy stuff.) In any case, it was still an interesting concept, so I kept watching. And while I don’t fully regret it, I can’t say it’s a great movie. It’s over-long, clocking in at 115 minutes. Half an hour could have easily been shaved off this thing to make it more palatable. It felt disjointed and the characters seemed like caricatures. What I will praise the film for is the practical effects. The make-ups were beautiful. And the creature, holy shit was that thing creepy! Just thinking about it gives me the willies.

All in all, I didn’t hate it, but I definitely didn’t love it. Maybe it’d have gotten a higher score had I seen it in its original Russian, but as it is, it gets a 5/10.

The Cleansing Hour (2020)
Ryan Guzman, Kyle Gallner, Alix Angelis, Chris Lew Kum Hoi, Daniel Hoffmann-Gill, and Emma Holzer
Directed by: Damien LeVeck


This one has been on my to-watch list since it came out, and I’ve just now got around to it. I’m glad I finally did.

Max and Drew are millennial entrepreneurs whoโ€™ve made themselves famous with a webcast they created called โ€œThe Cleansing Hour,โ€ which streams live exorcisms. The catch? Each exorcism is elaborately staged. Until today, when Drewโ€™s fiancรฉ, todayโ€™s actress in the chair, turns out to actually be possessed!

Unlike Superdeep, this was very much exactly what I was expecting it to be. No shade intended! Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best ones. All the acting was great, especially Kyle Gallner, but no surprise there, he’s wonderful. The makeup and vfx were nothing special, but not awful, either. This was very overt, though. No “is she really possessed?” kind of thing, they make it known right from the get-go that she is. So I missed that sense of mystery a bit. It was also very loud, the sound design was a little jarring. But I suppose that’s to be expected from a film that’s basically one long exorcism. But in the end, I had a good time watching it, so it gets a solid 7.5/10.

M.

Both these films are currently on Shudder.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Wailing (๊ณก์„ฑ, Gokseong)

The Wailing (๊ณก์„ฑ, Gokseong) (2016)
Kwak Do-won, Jun Kunimura, Kim Hwan-hee, Kim Do-yoon, Son Gang-guk, Jang So-yeon, Hwang Jung-min, Chun Woo-hee, Her Jin, and Kil Chang-gyoo
Directed by: Na Hong-jin

So, I’m not quite sure what to make of this one. It was so all over the place. I’m not even sure if I liked it or not.

After a bizarre Japanese man comes to their village, some of the inhabitants seem to lose their minds and become homicidal. A hapless police officer goes to great lengths to protect his daughter who has started showing signs of the infection.

First of all, I hated the first 40 minutes or so. All the characters act really dumb, and it feels more like a slapstick comedy than a horror film. After that they calmed down with that aspect, and the film finally started. It had great ambience, some really tense moments, but it was all so confused and complicated that it took away a lot of the good they were laying down. There were so many twists that I got whiplash. So many things that the characters do simply don’t make sense, and the film does nothing to explain it. The acting was mostly stellar, especially from the possessed child, but again, it get lost in the over-convoluted story. And can someone please tell me who the woman in white was? All I can figure is she’s a creature from Korean folklore, and since I know nothing about that, I simply didn’t get it. And holy hell was it long. At 2 hours and 36 minutes, I think it’s the longest horror film I’ve ever seen. All in all, it wasn’t a bad film, but it’s definitely not something I’ll ever watch again. It gets a decent 7/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Demonologist audiobook

The Demonologist: The Extraordinary Career of Ed and Lorraine Warren
Written by: Gerald Brittle
Read by: Todd Haberkorn

demonologist

Would I recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes, definitely! I loved it! Superbly read by Todd Haberkorn. I don’t believe for a moment that everything (or even anything) in the book is actually true, but it was nonetheless a fascinating read. Two enthusiastic thumbs up! ๐Ÿ˜€

What about Todd Haberkornโ€™s performance did I like?
He gave each character his own unique voice without sounding silly, which is harder than you might think. Especially for a horror story. His demon voices were especially well done, very creepy.

Was this a book I wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes! And that’s exactly what I did! It was the first time I’d done that, hehe. It was “only” 10 hours though, so it’s not too bad.

Additional comments?
If you like supernatural stuff, and especially if you liked the film The Conjuring, you’ll probably like this as much as I did then.

Enjoy!! ๐Ÿ™‚

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Jennifer’s Body

Jennifer’s Body
(2009) Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, Kyle Gallner, Sal Cortez, Ryan Levine, Juan Riedinger, Chris Pratt, JK Simmons and Amy Sedaris

jennifer's body

Looking past Megan Fox’s “acting”, I actually quite enjoyed Jennifer’s Body. No, obviously, it’s not Shakespeare, but really, it wasn’t trying to be. This a story about a teenage girl who gets possessed by an evil spirit and starts eating the high school boys, for heaven’s sake. What on earth were you expecting? Taken as what it is, it’s quite a fun little film. The perfect popcorn flick. With the added bonus of a lot of eye candy. Seriously, where do all these kids come from? There were no Megan Fox’s or Amanda Seyfried’s, or Kyle Gallner’s even, in my high school! But I digress… So yeah, put your brain on pause, make a giant bowl of popcorn and give it a whirl. It’s a fun 7.5/10.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! ๐Ÿ™‚

ย 

M.