Tag Archives: rituals

Mar 31 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Mortuary Assistant

The Mortuary Assistant (2026)
Willa Holland, Paul Sparks, John Adams, Keena Ferguson Frasier, Mark Steger, Emily Bennett
Directed by: Jeremiah Kipp

This movie just dropped on Shudder a few days ago. I had no idea what it was, and the blurb made it sound like a generic possession film, with the same basic premise as The Possession of Hannah Grace. But since I’m a sucker for possession films, I decided to give it a go. And oh boy…

Rebecca is a newly appointed mortician and gets a call from her boss that he needs her for a night shift. When she arrives, strange things begin to happen, and she finds herself in a life-or-death struggle with a demon.

I’d heard this was based on a video game before watching it. But since I’d had a good time with Until Dawn recently, I decided to give this one a go. What a mistake. This film is awful, bordering on embarrassing. The lead gave such a one-note performance, and the man who played her boss was literally made out of wood. It was a confused, jumbled mess, with scenes that had nothing to do with each kind of stitched together. I don’t need every little thing spelled out for me in a film, but a little would be nice. Even the exposition dump that we got didn’t explain anything. I imagine that if I’d played the game, I might have understood a bit of what was going on. But you shouldn’t have to have played the game to understand the film. The film should stand on its own. I will give credit where credit is due, however. The makeup and gore effects were top notch. Too bad they were in such a turd of a film.

So do I recommend it? No, absolutely not. What a waste of my time. 3/10

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Apr 29 2020

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Possession of Michael King

The Possession of Michael King
(2014) Shane Johnson, Cara Pifko, Julie McNiven, Ella Anderson, Tomas Arana, Patricia Healy, Cullen Douglas, Jed Rees, Tobias Jelinek, and Dale Dickey

Let me start by saying that I generally don’t like found footage type films. No matter how good the story is, I just can’t get past the shaky cam, it’s rather nauseating. With that in mind, this film is done so well, and with a minimum of actual “shakiness”, that I didn’t mind. I went into this with zero expectations, and was pleasantly surprised. This film is much better than it has any right being.

Michael is an atheist who recently lost his wife in an unfortunate accident. After confronting his late wife’s “spiritual adviser” (a tarot card reader), he decides to make a documentary featuring what he believes will be proof that the supernatural doesn’t exist. He’s going to do any ritual he can find and when none of them work, that’ll be the proof he says. As is obvious in the title, things go horribly wrong.

Everything was remarkably good for a little indie film. Acting, effects, makeup, all were pretty stellar. The one thing I could say about it is that there were a few too many jump scares in a film that was creepy enough that it didn’t need them. There weren’t so many that I got annoyed, but still, the film could have done without. The plot was really simple, but it was done so well that it didn’t really need more. And that’s pretty much it. I’m trying to find other stuff to say, but “it was pretty great” pretty much covers it. A solid 8/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Tubi.