My Top 30 Films of the 90’s

I didn’t remember just how many amazing movies were made in the 90’s. I must have made a list of 50 films I loved and then had to pair it down to 30. I was not happy. And then just as I thought I was finished the list, a movie that I forgot came to mind and I had to shift everything. But I finally decided upon 30, so here they are, my 30 favourite films of the 90’s.

Number 30

Title: Scream
Year: 1996
Plot: In the small town of Woodsboro, California, a masked killer begins murdering high school students, and a group of friends must use their knowledge of horror movies to unmask the killer.
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Drew Barrymore, Roger Jackson (v.o.)
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: An original screenplay written by Kevin Williamson, although he was heavily inspired by the true story of the “Gainesville Ripper”, Danny Rolling, who murdered several college students in 1990.
Notes: So, I know, why is Scream all the way at number 30? Because I sometimes have weird tastes and there’s just 29 movies I love more, that’s why! But yes, of course, this movie is a modern classic. I’m generally not a fan of slashers, but this one is great.

Number 29

Title: The Iron Giant
Year: 1999
Plot: A young boy befriends a giant robot from outer space that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy.
Starring: Eli Marienthal, Harry Connick Jr, Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney, M Emmet Walsh, Cloris Leachman
Directed by: Brad Bird
Based on: The book The Iron Man by Ted Hughes.
Notes: This has to be one of my favourite animations ever. It’s both hilarious and heartwarming. Keep some kleenex close, you’re gonna need it!

Number 28

Title: Practical Magic
Year: 1998
Plot: Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love.
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Dianne Wiest, Aidan Quinn, Goran Visnjic, Evan Rachel Wood, Alexandra Artrip
Directed by: Griffin Dunne
Based on: The book Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman.
Notes: The perfect blend of chick flick and supernatural. And how disgustingly beautiful were Sandra and Nicole?? My goodness..

Number 27

Title: The Matrix
Year: 1999
Plot: When a beautiful stranger leads computer hacker Neo to a forbidding underworld, he discovers the shocking truth: the life he knows is the elaborate deception of an evil cyber-intelligence.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Gloria Foster, Matt Doran, Julian Arahanga, Anthony Ray Parker
Directed by: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski
Based on: An original script written by the Wachowski’s, but they admitted to being heavily inspired by the philosophical book Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard.
Notes: This movie is, in a word, iconic. Never mind the slew of sequels that got progressively worse, this movie was so good. Great ideas paired with top-notch action scenes; it was a must-see of the 90s.

Number 26

Title: The Craft
Year: 1996
Plot: After transferring to a Los Angeles high school, Sarah finds that her telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals.
Starring: Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Skeet Ulrich, Breckin Meyer, Christine Taylor, Assumpta Serna
Directed by: Andrew Fleming
Based on: An original screenplay written by Peter Filardi and Andrew Fleming.
Notes: The other movie that came out in ’96 starring Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich, I personally prefer this one. Maybe it’s because I identified more with the outcast goth girls? Probably. But this is just a fun witchcraft movie that I can still enjoy even though I’m no longer a teen.

Number 25

Title: Dragonheart
Year: 1996
Plot: The last living dragon and a disillusioned dragon-slaying knight must unite to stop an evil king, who was granted partial immortality.
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery (v.o.), Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Based on: An original screenplay written by Charles Edward Pogue and Patrick Read Johnson.
Notes: I haven’t watched this since the early 2000s I’d wager, so I can’t be sure if the cgi holds up. But I remember it being pretty great.

Number 24

Title: The Prophecy
Year: 1995
Plot: Archangel Gabriel is searching for the soul of a supremely evil human to win a war that’s raging between angels and bring hell on earth.
Starring: Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen, Amanda Plummer, Adam Goldberg, Moriah Shining Dove Snyder
Directed by: Gregory Widen
Based on: An original screenplay written by Gregory Widen.
Notes: Viggo as Lucifer is one of the most unsettling, even downright scary, things you’ll ever see. Holy crap.

Number 23

Title: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Year: 1995
Plot: Three drag queens travel cross-country until their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town where they turn the resident’s lives upside down.
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, Stockard Channing, Jason London, Jennifer Milmore, Blythe Danner, Beth Grant, Alice Drummond, Chris Penn, Arliss Howard
Directed by: Beeban Kidron
Based on: An original screenplay written by Douglas Carter Beane.
Notes: I absolutely love this film and can watch it over and over. It’s so funny and heartwarming at the same time. And how beautiful is John Leguizamo as Chi Chi? My goodness..

Number 22

Title: The Mummy
Year: 1999
Plot: At an archaeological dig in the ancient city of Hamunaptra, an American serving in the French Foreign Legion accidentally awakens a mummy who begins to wreak havoc as he searches for the reincarnation of his long-lost love.
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J O’Connor, Oded Fehr, Erick Avari, Jonathan Hyde, Patricia Velasquez, Omid Djalili
Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Based on: An original screenplay written by Stephen Sommers, although it is a re-imagining of the 1932 Universal film of the same name.
Notes: Is this movie really only number 22? Wow, there were great movies in this decade! This film is so fun and of course I eat up anything even remotely about ancient Egypt. And 90’s Brendan Fraser? Yes please!

Number 21

Title: Ever After
Year: 1998
Plot: Danielle de Barbarac is a spirited young woman forced into servitude by her wicked stepmother after her father’s death, who falls in love with Prince Henry after a chance meeting.
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott, Melanie Lynskey, Megan Dodds, Patrick Godfrey, Lee Ingleby, Kate Lansbury, Walter Sparrow, Matyelok Gibbs, Judy Parfitt, Timothy West, Jeroen Krabbé
Directed by: Andy Tennant
Based on: An original screenplay written by Susannah Grant, Andy Tennant, and Rick Parks, inspired by the 1697 Cinderella fairy tale written by Charles Perrault.
Notes: One of my very favourite chick flicks. Such a beautiful story and stupidly romantic, Danielle is actually a good role model for women and girls to follow.

Number 20

Title: House on Haunted Hill
Year: 1999
Plot: An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past.
Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Max Perlich, Jeffrey Combs
Directed by: William Malone
Based on: An original screenplay written by Robb White and Dick Beebe. It is a loose remake of the 1959 movie of the same name starring Vincent Price.
Notes: Now, I love Vincent Price, but gods was the original boring! And I have trouble with plastic skeletons on wires, I’ll be honest. This remake is slick and scary, perfectly updated for modern audiences.

Number 19

Title: Stargate
Year: 1994
Plot: An Egyptologist and a retired US Army Colonel unlock an ancient ring-shaped device discovered in Giza. They travel through a wormhole to the desert planet Abydos, where they discover a human civilization enslaved by the alien Ra, who poses as a god, and work to overthrow him to return home.
Starring: James Spader, Kurt Russell, Jaye Davidson, Alexis Cruz, Mili Avital, Erick Avari, Viveca Lindfors, Leon Rippy, John Diehl, Djimon Hounsou, Gianin Loffler
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Based on: An original screenplay written by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, inspired in part by ancient astronaut theory, notably Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Däniken.
Notes: Marrying ancient Egyptian-like culture and space travel? Sign me up! It also doesn’t hurt that James Spader was an absolute fox.

Number 18

Title: Empire Records
Year: 1995
Plot: A tight-knit group of record store employees are fighting to save their independent shop from becoming a corporate chain store in a single, chaotic day.
Starring: Anthony LaPaglia, Rory Cochrane, Liv Tyler, Johnny Whitworth, Renée Zellweger, Robin Tunney, Ethan Embry, Debi Mazar, Maxwell Caulfield, Brendan Sexton III, Coyote Shivers, James ‘Kimo’ Wills
Directed by: Allan Moyle
Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen, based on her personal experiences working at a Tower Records in Phoenix, Arizona.
Notes: I can’t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.

Number 17

Title: Seven
Year: 1995
Plot: Two detectives try to track down a serial killer who chooses his victims based on the seven deadly sins.
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, R Lee Ermey, Richard Roundtree, Reg E Cathey, Peter Crombie, John Cassini, Kevin Spacey
Directed by: David Fincher
Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Kevin Walker.
Notes: Such a brilliant piece of film. Well written, well acted, with a gut-punch of an ending that will stick with you long after the movie is done.

Number 16

Title: The Silence of the Lambs
Year: 1991
Plot: A young FBI rookie is sent to ask the help of brilliant cannibalistic killer Dr Hannibal Lecter in catching another killer who kidnaps his victims, holds them for many days, then skins them to make a ‘woman suit’.
Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Brooke Smith, Lawrence T Wrentz, Diane Baker
Directed by: Jonathan Demme
Based on: The book The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris.
Notes: This is, quite possibly, my favourite serial killer movie of all time. No surprises there, it’s such a classic. Did you know, despite having top billing, Anthony Hopkins only has about 18 minutes of screen time?

Number 15

Title: Stigmata
Year: 1999
Plot: When a young woman becomes afflicted by stigmata, a priest is sent to investigate her case, which may have severe ramifications for his faith and for the Catholic church itself.
Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa
Directed by: Rupert Wainwright
Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Lazarus and Rick Ramage.
Notes: My lifelong crush on Gabriel Byrne aside, this is just an awesome movie. I must have seen it over 20 times, maybe even more! I love religious horror when it’s done right.

Number 14

Title: It
Year: 1990
Plot: In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown.
Starring: Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Jonathan Brandis, Annette O’Toole, Emily Perkins, Harry Anderson, Seth Green, Dennis Christopher, John Ritter
Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace
Based on: The book It by Stephen King
Notes: I watched this when it came out, which meant I was 9 years old. Pennywise traumatized the crap out of me, and I’ve hated clowns ever since. But despite all this, I loved it and still do. Part two is not nearly as good as part one, which is why it’s not higher on the list.

Number 13

Title: Hackers
Year: 1995
Plot: Teenage hackers discover a criminal conspiracy with plans to use a computer virus that will capsize five oil tankers unless a ransom is paid.
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, Alberta Watson
Directed by: Iain Softley
Based on: An original screenplay written by Rafael Moreu.
Notes: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, I’ve always had my own computer since then. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchin’ soundtrack.

Number 12

Title: The Crow
Year: 1994
Plot: The night before his wedding, musician Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally murdered by members of a violent gang. On the anniversary of their death, Eric rises from the grave and assumes the mantle of the Crow, a supernatural avenger.
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Jon Polito, Tony Todd
Directed by: Alex Proyas
Based on: The graphic novel The Crow by James O’Barr
Notes: I’m generally not a huge fan of action movies, but this was a huge exception. With its gothic esthetic and supernatural elements, this became one of my all-time favourite movies.

Number 11

Title: Event Horizon
Year: 1997
Plot: A rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years. It did not come back alone.
Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Jason Isaacs, Jack Noseworthy, Richard T Jones, Sean Pertwee
Directed by: Paul WS Anderson
Based on: An original screenplay written by Philip Eisner.
Notes: This film scared the snot out of me when I first saw it when it came out (I was 16), and still manages to give me goosebumps today. A sign of a job well done!

Number 10

Title: The Exorcist III
Year: 1990
Plot: As a police lieutenant mourns on the anniversary of his friend’s death (Father Karras, from the first film), a serial killer strikes whose MO is eerily similar to a killer’s who’s been dead for 15 years.
Starring: George C Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller, Nicol Williamson, Scott Wilson, Nancy Fish, and George DiCenzo
Directed by: William Peter Blatty
Based on: The book Legion by William Peter Blatty.
Notes: This is the only sequel that The Exorcist should of had, instead of the abomination that was made (seriously, what the hell was that??) It’s a great story, and has real scares, with none of the camp that 90’s horror was so famous for. A real, under-rated gem. It also has the best jumpscare ever.

Number 9

Title: The Stand
Year: 1994
Plot: After a man-made super flu kills 99% of the people on earth, the survivors band together into two groups, one drawn by dreams of a kind old lady, the others by an evil dark man.
Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Adam Storke, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Rob Lowe, Corin Nemec, Matt Frewer, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston
Directed by: Mick Garris
Based on: The book The Stand by Stephen King.
Notes: I saw this at 13 when it first aired on tv, and I hadn’t read the book yet, which was probably a good thing, since it allowed me to love the mini-series, and not continuously compare it to the book. When I read the book a few years later, I was amazed at how much extra stuff was in it, but my love of the show was already cemented. It’s hopelessly dated, but it’s still a fun watch.

Number 8

Title: Interview with the Vampire
Year: 1994
Plot: A man who has lost his wife and baby in childbirth is offered immortality by a charming but ruthless vampire. We follow him through his centuries of life as he tells his story to a young writer.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Stephen Rea, Domiziana Giordano, Indra Ové, Thandie Newton
Directed by: Neil Jordan
Based on: The book Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice.
Notes: So beautiful and sumptuous. Incredibly acted and written, it follows the book quite closely (which is to be expected when the author writes the screenplay). A lot of the actors don’t look like their book counterparts, but the movie is so well done that I was able to forgive this.

Number 7

Title: Only You
Year: 1994
Plot: As a teen, Faith was told that her destiny is with a man named Damon Bradley. Years later, when she’s about to marry someone else, a Damon Bradley calls to wish them well, and Faith blows off her wedding to follow Damon to Italy.
Starring: Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr, Bonnie Hunt, Joaquim de Almeida, Fisher Stevens, Billy Zane, Adam LeFevre, Siobhan Fallon Hogan
Directed by: Norman Jewison
Based on: An original screenplay written by Malia Scotch Marmo.
Notes: Films don’t get much more schmoopy than this, folks. This is the very definition of romantic. My heart flutters a little every time I see it.

Number 6

Title: Clueless
Year: 1995
Plot: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok.
Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, Dan Hedaya
Directed by: Amy Heckerling
Based on: The book Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based).
Notes: My favourite teen movie of all time. It’s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent, as rich teens probably actually are.

Number 5

Title: Jurassic Park
Year: 1993
Plot: An industrialist invites some experts to visit his theme park of cloned dinosaurs. After a power failure, the creatures run loose, putting everyone’s lives, including his grandchildren’s, in danger.
Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Ariana Richards, Joseph Mazzello, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Samuel L Jackson, Wayne Knight, BD Wong
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Based on: The book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton.
Notes: The first, the original, and still the best. The effects more than hold up today.

Number 4

Title: Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1999
Plot: A slightly eccentric Constable is sent to the small town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate killings that the locals are sure were committed by a ghostly headless horseman.
Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Walken
Directed by: Tim Burton
Based on: The book The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving.
Notes: This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous. Simply wonderful.

Number 3

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Year: 1994
Plot: A wrongfully convicted banker forms a close friendship with a hardened convict over a quarter century while retaining his humanity through simple acts of compassion.
Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Directed by: Frank Darabont
Based on: The novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King.
Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. A wonderful story about the resilience of the human spirit.

Number 2

Title: The Sixth Sense
Year: 1999
Plot: After being shot by a resentful former patient whom he failed to help, a Philadelphia child psychologist seeks redemption by treating a young boy with a disturbing secret.
Starring: Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Trevor Morgan, Mischa Barton, Donnie Wahlberg
Directed by: M Night Shyamalan
Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan
Notes: I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw this for the first time, I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. We were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We couldn’t. And thankfully, unlike a lot of films with such twists, this film is so good that even knowing what’s going to happen doesn’t take any enjoyment away from the film.

Number 1

Title: Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Year: 1992
Plot: After seeing a photograph of a woman who resembles his long-dead wife, a centuries old vampire travels to England to find her.
Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Cary Elwes, Richard E Grant, Tom Waits, Monica Bellucci
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Based on: The novel Dracula by Bram Stoker.
Notes: I won’t deny the effect that the classics have had on modern film. Without the original Universal monsters, we might not have near as many great movies as we do. But it stands that I have trouble with old timey films. So I much prefer this one to the original. So lush, so beautiful, romantic, sometimes creepy. Simply put, perfect. Besides Keanu’s accent, of course! haha

And here are a few of the films that almost made the list, but not quite:

The Truth About Cats & Dogs
While You Were Sleeping
Stir of Echoes
Cruel Intentions
The Relic
From Dusk Till Dawn
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
10 Things I Hate About You
Twister
The Good Son
The Lion King
Get Real
The Witches
Army of Darkness
Romeo + Juliet
Little Women
Fried Green Tomatoes
Benny & Joon
The Cutting Edge
Dazed and Confused
Dark City
Total Recall
Can’t Hardly Wait
Cry-Baby
Merlin
The Frighteners
The Pit and the Pendulum
Subspecies
Darkman

And there it was, my top 30 films of the 90’s! What are some of your favourites? Let me know!

M.

Mel’s 10 Things About… Netherworld

Netherworld (1992)
Michael Bendetti, Denise Gentile, Holly Floria, Anjanette Comer, Robert Burr, Robert Sampson, Alex Datcher, and George Kelly

Netherworld

(SPOILERS INCOMING… but since it’s a movie from the 90’s, I’m not too worried)
1. The lead actor, Michael Bendetti, who plays Corey, is a stone cold fox. Now that that’s out of the way, we can continue.
2. The story is interesting, if a little all over the place. The bird people, the “is she bad or isn’t she?”, the flying hand, all intriguing enough to keep me watching.
3. Lots of boobies, but they don’t add much to the story. Pretty gratuitous. Which, I suppose, is par for the course for a 90’s horror film, especially one by Full Moon.
4.  The pacing left a little to be desired. Scenes were either too long, or too short, and it really jumped all over the place.
5. The music wasn’t great, and often didn’t fit the scenes. The love music for Corey and Delores was cheesey to the Nth degree, it almost took me out of the moment.
6. Unintentional laughter was had. Some scenes were so “wtf” that my bf and I just had to laugh out loud.
7. The final plot twist, while kind of obvious after a while, was still good and gave a lot to the story.
8. The idea of turning bad people into birds was interesting and something I’d never seen before, or since.
9. The love interest is introduced as “jailbait”, which makes Corey’s interest in her a little questionable. I mean, she doesn’t look underage, but you don’t introduce someone over 18 as jailbait, so…
10. Overall, despite its flaws, I rather liked it. It was fun and entertaining, definitely one of the better Full Moon pictures.

6.5/10

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Influence (La Influencia)

La Influencia (2019)
Manuela Vellés, Alain Hernández, Claudia Placer, Maggie Civantos, Emma Suárez, Daniela Rubio, Marta Castellote
Directed by: Denis Rovira van Boekholt

Oh, Netflix. Why you do this to me? Why do you make a blurb for a film look so bloody good, and then the movie so bloody bad?There is not one thing about this film that I liked. In fact, I stopped it at one point to see how long I had left (I thought it was almost done), and became so bummed out when I saw that I was only halfway that I almost didn’t start it up again. But I figured I’d finish it since I started it. I should have left it be.

HERE BE SPOILERS

The Influence is a Spanish language film made in Spain (don’t look at me like that, lots of countries speak Spanish), based on the novel of the same name by Ramsay Campbell. Wikipedia says it’s pretty faithful to the book, save some changes in the third act. I’d be interested in reading the book, since the story itself is interesting. Alicia is a nurse who comes home to take care of her dying mother (who she hates). As the film goes on we learn that the mother is a witch who used her children in all sorts of rituals. Now it seems that she’s controlling Alicia’s daughter Nora from her coma, wanting to transfer her soul into a young vessel. Hijinks, of course, ensue.

In the end, though, wasted potential is all this film is. It’s boring, most of the acting is bad, even the makeup effects are pretty crappy. And that ending… The showdown with the witch, which ends with her back in a coma all sliced up, Alicia and her husband broken and bleeding, and young Nora being tossed out the window. The film then ends with them in the hospital, locking the mother away in a room, and Nora recovering, then them driving off as a family, away from the cursed house. Now I can suspend all kinds of disbelief for a horror film. But are we supposed to believe that the cops wouldn’t get involved here? What did they tell them? That coma lady did it? That a 10 year old girl did it? I mean come on. All in all, this is a right turd of a film, and I want my hour and 45 minutes back. 2/10

M.

Mel’s 10 Things About… Penny Dreadful, season 2

Penny Dreadful (2014 – present)
(Season 2 Cast) Eva Green, Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton, Harry Treadaway, Reeve Carney, Rory Kinnear, Danny Sapani, Helen McCrory, Billie Piper, Simon Russell Beale, Sarah Greene, Douglas Hodge, Jonny Beauchamp, Hannah Tointon, Patti LuPone

Penny-Dreadful 2

{SPOILERS INCOMING}

1. Not quite as good as season 1, but still bloody excellent! This show is so good that for a while after watching it, I have trouble enjoying other stuff, cause not much is as good!
2. Kinda disappointed they started a new storyline instead of continuing the one they left off. I mean what, are the brothers politely taking turns trying to claim Vanessa?
3. Eva Green is hot. So is Josh Hartnett. Meow.
4. Mrs Poole’s dolls were creepy as hell… right up to the finale, where Vanessa was arguing with her doll. It was supposed to be tense and scary, but unfortunately came off a little silly. It’s really the only really bad thing I can say about the season, though.
5. Speaking of the finale, with each character ending up completely alone, I hope it doesn’t take half of season 3 to reunite them!
6. The whole Angelique sub-plot felt kinda tacked on for no other reason than to shock the audience. I liked her, I did, but it always felt superfluous to the rest of the story.
7. Lily’s big reveal was quite something, very unexpected. A little sad, cause the blossoming love story between her and Victor was super cute, but I suppose no one can stay happy for long in this world.
8. I’m a bit sad that Dorian, whose character I loved in season 1, went so bad so fast. I know he was never a good guy, but I dunno. I just really preferred him in season 1.
9. Loved all of Vanessa’s back story. The episode about her and her mentor was absolutely perfect, start to end.
10. Looking forward to see what Hecate will be up to next. Here’s hoping they don’t just skip to the next story again, and just leave her hanging. I need to find out if Ethan will really be turned bad. I certainly hope not.

If you haven’t seen this show and like all things macabre, then I suggest you put down whatever you’re doing and see it, now! It’s playing in several country’s Netflix, and is also playing on On Demand.

M.

My Top 30 Fantasy Films

Fantasy is my second-favourite film and book genre, not far behind horror. While anything that’s “not real” can be considered fantasy, I’ve kept this list down to the films that are “classic fantasy”, which is to say films that contain elements that people automatically think of when they think fantasy: magic, fairies, elves, witches and wizards, that sort of thing. So no horror, sci-fi, or anything else “fantastical” that’s not straight fantasy. There are a few that have some horror elements, but are very far from being horror films, so they’re allowed here. I also won’t be including films who’s only fantastical element is talking animals, otherwise we’d be here all day. If there are films on the list with talking animals, it’s because there are other fantasy elements as well. And finally, I haven’t included any animated Disney or Pixar films, they’ll have their own list.

The films will be in approximate order only. As I did with My Top 50 Horror Films, I will separate them into groups, then put those groups in order. They will be numbered from 5 to 1, with each number having 6 films that will be “tied”, if you will, for that place on the list.

So, without any further ado, here are my top 30 fantasy films. Enjoy! 🙂

 

NUMBERS 5

5 The Wizard of Oz

Title: The Wizard of Oz
Starring: Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger, Bert Lahr, Jack Haley, Billie Burke, Margaret Hamilton, Terry the Dog
Released in: 1939
Directed by: Victor Fleming
Written by: Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson, Edgar Allan Woolf
Based On: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L Frank Baum
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Despite the bright technicolour, this is actually a pretty dark story. One of the very few films to actually scare me as a child (Freddy Krueger, no problem! Wicked Witch of the West? Flee crying. *shrug*)
Fantastical Elements: Witches, wizards, fantastical creatures (man-lion, flying monkeys, etc), magic.
5 Second Synopsis: Dorothy Gale is swept away to a magical land in a tornado and embarks on a quest to see the Wizard who can help her return home.
Why I Love It: One of the very first fantasy films I saw as a kid, I didn’t love it as much as the others (which are mostly in my number 2s and 1s), but it’s nevertheless undeniable that this is a classic. That it’s still enjoyable today is a testament to how good it really was.

 

M8DWITC EC001

Title: The Witches
Starring: Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Rowan Atkinson, Bill Paterson, Brenda Blethyn, Charlie Potter, Jane Horrocks, Anne Lambton
Released in: 1990
Directed by: Nicolas Roeg
Written by: Allan Scott
Based On: The Witches by Roald Dahl
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Surprisingly dark. The book is even darker (and better).
Fantastical Elements: Witches, magic, transmogrification.
5 Second Synopsis: A young boy stumbles onto a witch convention and vows to stop them, even after he has been turned into a mouse.
Why I Love It: From the moment I could read properly, I loved Roald Dahl. Unfortunately, most of the films based on his work are turds. Not so this one. It’s bat-shit crazy, and I love it. No other reason needed.

 

5 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Title: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Starring: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson, Tony Curran, Shane West, Jason Flemyng, Richard Roxburgh, Naseeruddin Shah, Max Ryan
Released in: 2003
Directed by: Stephen Norrington
Written by: James Robinson
Based On: The comic books by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Immortality, vampirism, invisibility, transmogrification.
5 Second Synopsis: Renowned adventurer Allan Quatermain leads a team of extraordinary figures with legendary powers to battle the technological terror of a madman known as The Fantom.
Why I Love It: This film gets a lot of flack from critics and audiences alike, but I quite enjoyed. Yes, it has it’s problems, but really, what film doesn’t. It’s a fun watch, just grab your popcorn, and don’t think too hard!

 

5 Return to Oz

Title: Return to Oz
Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Walter Murch
Written by: Gill Dennis, Walter Murch
Based On: Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark. Kid’s film, my ass!
Fantastical Elements: Witches, wizards, fantastical creatures (wheelers, tin-man, man made of rocks, etc), magic.
5 Second Synopsis: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now :-p ), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.
Why I Love It: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, and I’ll probably get yelled at for thinking so, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.

 

5 FernGully

Title: FernGully: The Last Rainforest
Starring: Samantha Mathis, Jonathan Ward, Robin Williams, Tim Curry, Christian Slater, Grace Zabriskie, Geoffrey Blake, Robert Pastorelli, Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Tone Loc
Released in: 1992
Directed by: Bill Kroyer
Written by: Jim Cox
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Fairies, magic, fantastical creature (Hexxus)
5 Second Synopsis: When human Zak stumbles into the fairy world, he realizes that he needs to help them preserve their rainforest home before it’s all destroyed.
Why I Love It: Heavy-handed environmental message aside, this was another of my faves as a kid. It’s got nice animation, good voice acting, catchy songs, not to mention one of the scariest villains in a cartoon made for kids, voiced, of course, by Tim Curry.

 

5 Dungeons & Dragons

Title: Dungeons & Dragons
Starring: Justin Whalin, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Marlon Wayans, Bruce Payne, Thora Birch, Kristen Wilson, Robert Miano, Lee Arenberg, Richard O’Brien
Released in: 2000
Directed by: Courtney Solomon
Written by: Topper Lilien, Carroll Cartwright
Based On: The role-playing game created by TSR (Gary Gygax)
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark-ish
Fantastical Elements: Way too many to list all of them, but the basics are magic, dragons, elves, witches and wizards, and many other fantastical creatures, such as the Beholder.
5 Second Synopsis: Profion, a tyrant wizard, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress. A group of fighters, led by a cunning thief, try to stop him.
Why I Love It: This movie is awful. The effects are cartoony, the acting atrocious, and the D&D lore seriously messed up. And yet I loved it. I guess it falls into the so bad it’s good category for me.

 

NUMBERS 4

4 What Dreams May Come

Title: What Dreams May Come
Starring: Robin Williams, Annabella Sciorra, Max von Sydow, Jessica Brooks Grant, Josh Paddock, Rosalind Chao, Cuba Gooding Jr
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Vincent Ward
Written by: Ronald Bass
Based On: What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Afterlife, heaven, hell, reincarnation
5 Second Synopsis: After dying in a car crash, a man searches the afterlife for his wife, who committed suicide afterwards, her grief being too great.
Why I Love It: Such a beautiful story about love and loss, there’s no way not to love this film. All the acting is amazing, the depiction of heaven stunning. On the flip side, hell is terrifying, but unlike anything I’d ever seen before. The idea of people ending up in a hell of their own making is at once heart-breaking and frightening. If you somehow haven’t seen this film, I highly reccomend you go see it, right now!

 

4 The Secret of NIMH

Title: The Secret of NIMH
Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Arthur Malet, Peter Strauss, John Carradine, Paul Shenar, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, Jodi Hicks, Hermione Baddeley
Released in: 1982
Directed by: Don Bluth
Written by: Don Bluth, John Pomeroy, Gary Goldman, Will Finn
Based On: Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Surprisingly dark
Fantastical Elements: Super-intelligent rats and mice, magic, telekinesis through a jewel
5 Second Synopsis: A field mouse named Mrs Brisby must move her family to a safe location before the farmer plows the field where they live, but her son Timmy cannot go outside due to his pneumonia. She enlists the aid of some highly intelligent escaped lab rats that have built a subterranean society inside a rose bush near the farmer’s garden.
Why I Love It: Such a great story with beautiful animation. I never realized how creepy some parts of it were until I’d rewatched it as an adult. How on earth did that owl not give me nightmares?? hehe Definitely one of the very best non-Disney animated films.

 

4 The Ghost and Mrs Muir

Title: The Ghost and Mrs Muir
Starring: Gene Tierney, Rex Harrison, George Sanders, Edna Best, Vanessa Brown, Natalie Wood, Anna Lee
Released in: 1947
Directed by: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Written by: Philip Dunne
Based On: The Ghost and Mrs Muir by RA Dick (pseudonym of Josephine Leslie)
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Ghosts, afterlife
5 Second Synopsis: In 1900, a young, head-strong widow finds her seaside cottage is haunted, but rather than being scared off, she forms a unique relationship with the ghost.
Why I Love It: Old timey movies have to be really, really good for me to love them, and this one definitely is. Wonderfully charming and superbly acted, this unconventional love story was one of the first of the genre, and is still endlessly enjoyable, even today.

 

4 Shrek

Title: Shrek
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, Jim Cummings, Vincent Cassel, Christopher Knights, Conrad Vernon, Frank Welker
Released in: 2001
Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson
Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman, Roger SH Schulman
Based On: Shrek! by William Steig
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Transmogrification, dragons, curses, fantastical storybook characters (ogres, big bad wolf, gingerbread man, etc)
5 Second Synopsis: An evil Lord banishes all fairytale creatures into the swamp, which much angers the resident ogre, Shrek. In order to regain his swamp, he agrees to go rescue the princess that the Lord wants to wed. But something is very different about this princess, and Shrek finds himself falling for her, despite himself.
Why I Love It: Tongue firmly planted in cheek, this film is hilarious and touching at the same time. The characters go through a rather astounding transformation during the film, and I’m not only referring to the obvious. I guess everyone really does have layers. Like onions, of course, not cake 😉

 

4 Edward Scissorhands

Title: Edward Scissorhands
Starring: Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Anthony Michael Hall, Kathy Baker, Conchata Ferrell, Alan Arkin, Caroline Aaron, Vincent Price
Released in: 1990
Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Frankenstien-ish creature with scissors for hands
5 Second Synopsis: A kind inventor is almost finished piecing together his latest creation when fate prevents him from completing this most important project. Edward may seem dangerous, with scissors instead of hands, but when a compassionate Avon lady comes calling, she sees his pure heart, and decides to bring him home.
Why I Love It: One of Burton’s best, and his first collaboration with Johnny Depp (which should have ended with Sleepy Hollow, but maybe that’s just me). I didn’t like this film all that much the first time I saw it (I was only 9 when it came out), but once I got older, I was able to appreciate it’s quirky story, and now I love it. Classic Burton, right here.

 

4 Dragonheart

Title: DragonHeart
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery, Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson, Peter Hric
Released in: 1996
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Written by: Charles Edward Pogue
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Dragons, magic
5 Second Synopsis: A dragon slayer teams up with the last dragon to take down an evil king.
Why I Love It: A perfect blend of funny and tense, this is one of the very best dragon films ever made. And the CGI holds up surprisingly well, despite the film being almost 20 years old. David Thewlis was so perfectly evil in this film, that I found him disgusting until his brilliant turn as Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter films.

 

NUMBERS 3

3 Wizards

Title: Wizards
Starring: Bob Holt, Jesse Welles, Steve Gravers, Richard Romanus, David Proval, Jim Connell, Mark Hamill
Released in: 1977
Directed by: Ralph Bakshi
Written by: Ralph Bakshi
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, fairies, elves, mutated talking animals
5 Second Synopsis: In a post-apocalyptic future, a wizard and his fairy folk comrades fight his evil brother, who’s using technology in his bid for conquest.
Why I Love It: Definitely not for kids, this is one cartoon with a lot of bite. Tense, bloody, and violent, it’s one of the very best of the genre.

 

3 Pirates of the Caribbean

Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Zoe Saldana, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Damian O’Hare
Released in: 2003
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Based On: The Pirates of the Caribbean ride at DisneyLand
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, curses, undead
5 Second Synopsis: When his love is kidnapped by pirates, a young blacksmith teams up with perpetually drunk pirate Jack Sparrow in the attempt to get her back. Little do they realize that the evil pirates are undead, and need Elizabeth to break the curse.
Why I Love It: A fun ride (pun intended) from start to finish, this is undoubtedly the best film in the franchise. Johnny Depp is brilliant as Jack Sparrow, and the rest of the cast also shine, especially Geoffrey Rush as the evil Captain Barbossa. The perfect blend of action and thriller that’s more than a little funny, this is one of Depp’s best. It’s really too bad that he’s fallen into the rut of always playing this same kind of character over and over now.

 

3 Merlin

Title: Merlin
Starring: Sam Neill, Helena Bonham Carter, Miranda Richardson, Martin Short, Isabella Rossellini, Paul Curran, Lena Headey, Jeremy Sheffield, Jason Done, John Gielgud, Rutger Hauer, James Earl Jones
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Steve Barron
Written by: Peter Barnes, Edward Khmara, David Stevens
Based On: The legends of King Arthur and the wizard Merlin
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, elves, curses, spells, gnomes, fairy folk
5 Second Synopsis: The legendary wizard tells his story of his war against Queen Mab of the Sidhe, and his creation of Camelot.
Why I Love It: This has to be one of the very best made-for-TV movies ever. The actors they got to do it were all top notch, the writing was great, and even the effects, which are usually pretty pathetic for TV films, were quite good. And I never thought I’d say so, but Martin Short looked… hot!! hehe

 

3 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Title: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix
Released in: 1989
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Jeffrey Boam
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, the holy grail, magical booby traps, immortality
5 Second Synopsis: Indiana Jones acquires a diary that holds clues and a map to find the mysterious Holy Grail, which was sent from his father. Learning that his father went missing while searching, Indy hops a plane to Italy to save him.
Why I Love It: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s a fourth, I just don’t acknowledge it.)

 

3 Hook

Title: Hook
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins, Charlie Korsmo, Dante Basco, Amber Scott, Caroline Goodall, Maggie Smith
Released in: 1991
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: James V Hart, Malia Scotch Marmo
Based On: Peter Pan books and play by JM Barrie
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical world, fairies, power of imagination, flying, immortality, magic
5 Second Synopsis: When Captain Hook kidnaps his children, an adult Peter Pan must return to Neverland and reclaim his youthful spirit in order to challenge his old enemy.
Why I Love It: Saw this film when it first came out (I was 10), and I’ve loved it ever since. Robin Williams gives a great performance as the aged Peter Pan, while Dustin Hoffman eats up every inch of the screen when he’s on it as the (slightly insane) Captain Hook. A definite childhood favourite, a total gem of a film.

 

3 HellBoy

Title: HellBoy
Starring: Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Rupert Evans, Karel Roden, Jeffrey Tambor, Brian Steele, Bridget Hodson, Ladislav Beran
Released in: 2004
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Written by: Guillermo del Toro
Based On: Hellboy: Seed of Destruction by Mike Mignola
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, demons, immortality, humanoid creatures with special abilities, pyrokinesis, wizards, portals to hell
5 Second Synopsis: A demon, raised from infancy after being conjured by and rescued from the Nazis, grows up to become a defender against the forces of darkness.
Why I Love It: Such a fun film, it also has surprisingly good acting, and an awesome story. The effects are absolutely stunning as well, and Ron Perlman embodies HellBoy perfectly, head to toe. One of the first in the modern superhero/comic book films, and still one of the best.

 

NUMBERS 2

2 Willow

Title: Willow
Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro
Released in: 1988
Directed by: Ron Howard
Written by: Bob Dolman
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, fairy folk, witches, spells, curses
5 Second Synopsis: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
Why I Love It: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for it’s time, it still holds up very well today. Plus Val Kilmer is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was perhaps my very first adult crush. *swoon*

 

2 The Princess Bride

Title: The Princess Bride
Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane
Released in: 1987
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Written by: William Goldman
Based On: The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Magic, fantastical creatures (RoUS’s), miracles, fantastical machines
5 Second Synopsis: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young princess, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince.
Why I Love It: Pretty much every film in the rest of this list is a true classic, so I’ll stop saying it, hehe. This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alive. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

 

2 The Crow

Title: The Crow
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Tony Todd, Jon Polito, Sofia Shinas
Released in: 1994
Directed by: Alex Proyas
Written by: David J Schow, John Shirley
Based On: The Crow graphic novel by James O’Barr
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Re-incarnation, invulnerability, superhero-like prowess
5 Second Synopsis: Musician Eric Draven is brought back to life by a crow a year after he and his fiancée are murdered. The crow guides him, and leads him to his killers, whom he kills in revenge.
Why I Love It: This film would likely be found in the action section of your video store rather than fantasy, but this definitely is indeed a fantasy film. Dark and violent, this is my very favourite revenge film, by far. But with this great film came a great loss, for actor Brandon Lee was accidentally killed while filming. What a shame.

 

2 Ladyhawke

Title: Ladyhawke
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Richard Donner
Written by: Edward Khmara, Michael Thomas, Tom Mankiewicz, David Webb Peoples
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, curses, transmogrification
5 Second Synopsis: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse.
Why I Love It: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.

 

2 Harry Potter

Title: Harry Potter Octology
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Robbie Coltrane, Maggie Smith, John Hurt, David Thewlis, Tom Felton, Bonnie Wright, Evanna Lynch, Gary Oldman, Jason Isaacs, Brendan Gleeson, Helena Bonham Carter, Julie Walters, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Matthew Lewis, Timothy Spall, Mark Williams, David Bradley, Imelda Staunton, Richard Griffiths, Fiona Shaw, Harry Melling, Clémence Poésy, Shirley Henderson, Natalia Tena, Emma Thompson, Warwick Davis, Richard Harris
Released in: 2001 – 2011
Directed by: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates
Written by: Steve Kloves, Michael Goldenberg
Based On: Harry Potter Septology by JK Rowling
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, magic, and more magic! Plus fantastical creatures, flying broomsticks, curses, prophecies, transmogrification, and much more.
5 Second Synopsis: Young Harry Potter finds out he’s a wizard, and is sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he finds out that there is a very evil wizard who wants him dead.
Why I Love It: I’m cheating a little by putting all 8 films here, but it would have taken a huge chunk out of my Top 30, or I would have had to add 7 more slots, and I really didn’t feel like doing basically the same entry 8 times. So there. These films are fun, whimsical, and at the same time, tense and even frightening (dementors, anyone?). They did such a great job of translating these books into films. If you enjoy fantasy and haven’t seen these, I very highly reccomend you crawl out from under your rock and see them.

 

2 Dogma

Title: Dogma
Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, George Carlin, Bud Cort, Alanis Morissette
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Kevin Smith
Written by: Kevin Smith
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Angels, demons, God, heaven, hell
5 Second Synopsis: A woman with special ancestry is enlisted to prevent two angels from reentering Heaven and thus undoing the fabric of the universe.
Why I Love It: I’m not the hugest fan of comedies, not because I don’t like laughing, but because I have a slightly peculiar sense of humour, and a lot comedies are just dumb to me. This one, though, this is my very favourite comedy, the whole thing is perfect (save one scene), beginning to end. It had me literally rolling on the floor, laughing.

 

NUMBERS 1

1 The NeverEnding Story

Title: The NeverEnding Story
Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, The Horse (Googled my heart out to find his real name, but could find it, unfortunately 😦 )
Released in: 1984
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Written by: Wolfgang Petersen, Herman Weigel
Based On: Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical world, magic, wishes, fantastical machines
5 Second Synopsis: A troubled boy dives into a wonderous fantasy world through the pages of a mysterious book.
Why I Love It: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed him in age, about 8 years later.

 

1 The Dark Crystal

Title: The Dark Crystal
Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor
Released in: 1982
Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz
Written by: David Odell
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical world, magic, flight, fairy folk
5 Second Synopsis: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world.
Why I Love It: Another of my childhood favourites, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. Well, not my child. I’ve introduced him to Labyrinth, and he loved it. Up next, the rest of my number 1’s, starting with this one.

 

1 Rock & Rule

Title: Rock & Rule
Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Gregory Salata, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Catherine Gallant, Samantha Langevin, Catherine O’Hara
Released in: 1983
Directed by: Clive A Smith
Written by: Peter Sauder, John Halfpenny
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical technology, demons, mutants
5 Second Synopsis: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a female singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him.
Why I Love It: This little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.

 

1 Lord of the Rings

Title: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Starring: Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Cate Blanchett, Andy Serkis, Craig Parker, Bernard Hill, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Brad Dourif, Ian Holm, John Noble, Sala Baker
Released in: 2001, 2002, 2003
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson
Based On: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, hobbits, elves, dwarves, visions, immortality, fantastical creatures, and more
5 Second Synopsis: A young hobbit must get to the gates of the enemy to destroy a ring that, if in the hands of the monster, would end the world as they know it.
Why I Love It: I don’t think there’s a geek on the planet that didn’t love this one. It was so beautifully done, acted, written and shot that it’s hard not to fall in love at first sight. It has the perfect blend of practical makeup and effects, and CGI, something that was sorely lacking in the Hobbit films.

 

1 Legend

Title: Legend
Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: William Hjortsberg
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Demons, goblins, fairy folk, unicorns, magic, curses
5 Second Synopsis: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.
Why I Love It: Probably one of the very first fantasy films I’ve seen, and still one of the very best. It’s so beautifully done that it would be impressive even coming out today. Even all the acting is good, and that’s saying something for a film of the 80’s. So sad that they don’t make them like this anymore.

 

1 Labyrinth

Title: Labyrinth
Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud
Released in: 1986
Directed by: Jim Henson
Written by: Terry Jones
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Magic, goblins, fairy folk, fantastical creatures
5 Second Synopsis: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours.
Why I Love It: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. I’ll be sounding like a broken record, but they don’t make them like this any more. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time, hehe.

 

Finally done! It’s only been 2 months in the making… This is what happens when I get lazy. Shit just doesn’t get done, hehe. Here’s hoping at least a few people will enjoy the fruits of my labour! 😀

M.

Top 10 Favorite Book Series

It wasn’t until recently that I realized just how many book series there were out there. I mean, I knew there were a lot, but I had no idea just how many “a lot” was. I spent a good few hours hunting for new stuff to read about a year ago, and browsing series on Goodreads yielded hundreds of choices. Dare I say, thousands, even! It makes me wonder how I, an avid reader, could have missed so many. There were so many that I’d never even heard of. Some of them have 15 plus books, and there are a good amount of them about vampires, which is even more baffling that I missed them. But anyways, I’m babbling here. In this list I’ll count down my 10 favorite book series. I’ve included all genres, although to be fair, I don’t really read much else besides horror (both supernatural and “true crime” style) and fantasy. I’ve put them in order, but the order is approximate at best, especially for the top 5. The top 5 are all ongoing series (except for the Sookie books, author Charlaine Harris has made clear that the last one published was her final Sookie novel), and my favorites are pretty much based on what I’m reading at the moment. I’ve also based my rating on my enjoyment of the series, and not technical merit. I think it’s pretty obvious that someone like George RR Martin is not on the same level technically as, say, Laurell K Hamilton (Anita Blake) or MaryJanice Davidson (Betsy Taylor), so it’s kind of unfair to rate them the same way. Before I get started, here are a few honourable mentions:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan
Ancient Egypt by Wilbur Smith
Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Xanth by Piers Anthony
The Belgariad by David Eddings
The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
Merry Gentry by Laurell K Hamilton
Rachel Morgan by Kim Harrison
The Vampire Diaries by LJ Smith
The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

And, extra special honourable mention, The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. The only reason this isn’t on the main list is because I’ve just started the series, and only have 2 of 14 books read. It’s not fair, then, for this to edge out a series of which I’ve read all (or almost all) of the books in the series.

And now, without further hubub, my top 10 favorite book series! 🙂

10 – The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice

anne_rice_books

Starting off the list, unsurprisingly, is Anne Rice‘s Vampire Chronicles. I read the first three while I was still in high school, and the next 3 in college, but after The Vampire Armand, I kinda got bored with the series. Anne Rice got just too weird. And religious. Religion isn’t something I look for when I’m reading a vampire novel. I have a few of her later books, but they’re basically sitting on the shelf collecting dust. I doubt I’ll ever read them. But the series still makes the list (albeit at number ten) because of how amazing the first three are, and how much I still love them, even interview queennow. Interview with the Vampire is simply one of the best vampire books, ever. The books were so popular that of course Hollywood had to have a crack at it. Why it took them so long, though, I’ll never know. Interview was written in 1976, and the first film didn’t come out until 1994. Of which I’m forever grateful, now that I really think about it. 70’s horror films, especially vampire horror films weren’t really known for… well… being good :-p I shudder to think of what would have become of Interview with the Vampire had it been put into the hands of a 70’s horror director. Thankfully, though, we got Neil Jordan, and he gave us one of the most beautiful pieces of film in horror history. No, forget horror history, make that film history, period. True, the casting was a little off in it’s choices for most of the characters (ok, ok, it was a lot off), and many fans, myself included, even Anne Rice herself, were horrified to learn that Tom Cruise would be playing our favorite brat, Lestat de Lioncourt. After the movie came out, however, every single one of us who’d booed the casting took it back. Despite not liking Tom Cruise hardly at all, I have to admit he does a wonderful job as Lestat, and he even looks the part. He’s the only one, unfortunately. If I had anything bad left to say about this film, it would be that, that the characters don’t look like themselves. Louis is supposed to be young, with curly black hair up to his chin. And Armand looks like a 15 year old red-head. That description doesn’t bring Antonio Banderas to mind, does it? And Claudia… well I understood why they did it, but in the book she was just 5 years old. Queen of the Damned was made in 2002 and as much as I love the film, let’s just pretend that it’s not based on a book. We’ll all be much happier for it.

 

9 – Betsy, Queen of the Undead by MaryJanice Davidson

betsy

Betsy Taylor is a tall, blonde bimbo who’s only real passion in life is shoes. On her thirtieth birthday, she has the worst day anyone could possibly have, being fired from her job, then being run over by a speeding SUV. Horrified after waking in the morgue, she tries to kill herself multiple times, unsuccessfully. She then realizes why: she’s risen as a vampire. And not just any vampire, either. According to elder vampire Eric Sinclair, she’s the new vampire queen. Betsy, who’s biggest problems in life before were the stain on those new Louboutins she bought, is about to find out being queen isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Told in the first person, Betsy’s perspective, these books are absolutely hilarious. I’m generally not a fan of reading comedy, but since this was also a vampire thing, I decided to give it a go, and boy am I glad I did. The books are short, sweet, and always fun. I’ve fallen a bit behind on this series, though, I’ve only read up to number 7. But I have so much stuff to read now, that these fluffy little comedies have been shuffled to the back of the line.

  1. Undead and Unwed
  2. Undead and Unemployed 
  3. Undead and Unappreciated
  4. Undead and Unreturnable
  5. Undead and Unpopular
  6. Undead and Uneasy
  7. Undead and Unworthy
  8. Undead and Unwelcome
  9. Undead and Unfinished
  10. Undead and Undermined
  11. Undead and Unstable
  12. Undead and Unsure
  13. Undead and Unwary 

 

8 – Zinc Chandler, Special X by Michael Slade

Special X

I discovered this author quite by accident. I got a book as a gift, I think it was for christmas, but I have no idea who from. The book was by an author I’d never heard of before, but the title was cool: Ghoul. I started reading it, and yup, it was right up my alley. Each novel follows agents from the fictional Special X department of the RCMP as they hunt horrifying serial killers. You can tell it’s fiction already, Canada doesn’t boast enough serial killers to write a new book every year, hehehe. I’m way behind on this series too, I made it to number 7 (again? That seems to be my lucky number…) and then sort of pooped out. The books, although always with fascinating stories, are a little hit and miss sometimes. Ghoul, Ripper, Headhunter and Primal Scream were all excellent, absolute page turners, while Cutthroat and Evil Eye were a little hard to get through, sluggishly paced and sometimes downright boring. I had no idea the series had grown to 14 books, though! I’ll have to pick them up again.

  1. Headhunter (1984)
  2. Ghoul (1987)
  3. Cutthroat (1992)
  4. Ripper (1994)
  5. Evil Eye (1996)
  6. Primal Scream (1998)
  7. Burnt Bones (1999)
  8. Hangman (2000)
  9. Death’s Door (2001)
  10. Bed of Nails (2003)
  11. Swastika (2005)
  12. Kamikaze (2006)
  13. Crucified (2008)
  14. Red Snow (2010)

 

7 – Victoria Nelson, The Blood Books by Tanya Huff

blood books

This series, like most others actually, now that I think of it, I came into when it was already done. Not only was the book series done, but a TV show had come and gone as well, with myself none the wiser about it. I’m not entirely sure how I came upon this series, then, but I think it was one of my Facebook friends who had mentioned the show, and how he was ticked off at all the changes they’d made, but damn did that vampire look good. And after seeing a picture of the vampire in question, I decided that this show was something I needed to see. Right now. So after I started watching the show (and falling in love with it), I went hunting for the books. I read the first one in one sitting blood tiesI think, so that should tell you what I thought of it. The first book, Blood Price, is faithfully recreated for the show’s two-part Pilot episode, but after that the show pretty much goes it’s own way. (Dexter did the same thing, but at least we got a whole season of faithfulness before the writers crapped all over it, but I’m straying from the topic again.) I don’t actually mind that much when producers take some artistic license with the material they’re adapting (mind, I’m only talking about TV here. Adapting to film is a whole other monster), as long as they’re honest about what they’re doing. Dexter‘s writers were very clear in saying that season one would be the only one based truly on the books, and the rest will only bare some similarities in the characters. Same with Blood Ties here. True Blood, on the other hand, HBO bought the rights from author Charlaine Harris with the understanding that their vision was the same, and that they were headed in the same direction with their ideas. In fact, a (more or less) direct quote from Harris about it: “I sold the rights to Alan Ball because of all the people asking for the rights, his vision of the story was the closest to my own”. I bet she really regrets that now, with the ridiculousness that has become that show. But anyways, side-tracked again, who me? Maybe I should stop ranting and tell you what the books are actually about. Vicki Nelson is an ex-cop (known by her colleagues as Victory Nelson, for her impressive record) who’s now a private detective. She left the force because a degenerative eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa, which starts off by slowly killing night vision and peripheral vision, will eventually leave her blind, and she didn’t want to stay on the force if that meant riding a desk for the rest of her career. One day she gets a client who is positive her boyfriend was killed by a vampire, and hires Vicki to prove it. Vicki takes the case, never for one second imagining that she’d not only meet a vampire in her search for the truth, but that he’d be Henry Fitzroy, bastard son of Henry VIII… and an ally. Such great books, and finally, a real female role model. She’s still beautiful (of course) but she’s a “real” woman. No “waif-fu” here, Vicki kicks ass cause she works out her 5’11” frame. She’s also not a “lost little damsel, waiting for her knight”. She does most of the saving here. If you enjoy vampires and detectives, this short series is a perfect read for you. I just wish there was more of it!!

  1. Blood Price (1991)
  2. Blood Trail (1992)
  3. Blood Lines (1992)
  4. Blood Pact (1993)
  5. Blood Debt (1997)
  6. Blood Bank – a short story collection

 

6 – Harry Potter by JK Rowling

harry potter

So, of course this series will be in almost all fantasy lovers favorites list. Never mind that they were aimed at kids, this is some quality reading right here. 7 books (later made into 8 movies) of pure, unadulterated, magical fun. If I have to tell you what these books (and/or movies) are about, you really need to crawl out from under that rock you’ve been hiding under. But on the off-chance that you like it there under your rock, it goes a little something like this: 11 year old Harry Potter discovers that he’s a wizard and gets recruited by a half-giant named Hagrid to attend a harry-potterspecial wizarding school, Hogwarts. The end. No of course it isn’t, although, to be fair, that’s pretty awesome all by itself. So, wouldn’t you know, little Harry is famous all over the wizarding world for having defeated (read: didn’t die when shot at by) the evil Lord Voldemort. Voldemort’s not as dead as everyone thought, though, and with Harry’s return to the wizarding world, evil is stirring once again. A classic story of good against evil, black against white, the noseless vs the… nosed? I dunno. You get my point. The books are incredibly well written, especially for something that was originally aimed at a younger audience, so that’s even more impressive. So many YA authors think that since their stuff is aimed at teenagers, it can afford to not be well written. It’s a shame too, because some of them have good ideas, but their writing is total shite (I’m looking at YOU, Stephanie Meyer!) Thankfully, JK Rowling isn’t one of those authors, so her books are a joy to read, for the young and old alike.

  1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (1997)
  2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (1998)
  3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (1999)
  4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2000)
  5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2003)
  6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2005)
  7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (2007)

 

5 – Dexter Morgan by Jeff Lindsay

dexter

Dexter Morgan is a wonderful character, both in writing and on the TV screen. I only heard about the book series after the show started playing, and though, at that time, I didn’t like the show, the idea is wonderful, so of course when I heard this was a series of books I went out and bought the first 3 all at once. I sat down with the first one expecting a real treat, and I definitely was not disappointed. The story (for the book series and the show) goes a little something like this: Dexter Morgan is a mild-mannered employee of the crime lab of Miami Metro police Dexter Season 8department, his exact job title is blood spatter analyst. His job is to find out how all that precious life juice got out of the victim and onto wherever it is that person got killed. And he’s very good at his job. Both of them. Because by night, mild-mannered Dexter becomes the Dark Passenger, or rather, he lets the Dark Passenger drive. He is a serial killer. His prey of choice? Other killers. Brilliant!! The reason it’s not a little higher than number 5 (besides the fact that the top 4 are absolutely amazing) is that book 3 kinda… well… sucks 😦 The first 2 were absolutely amazing, but then book 3 goes ahead and spins the whole story from a supernatural angle and that, to me, was the very wrong direction to take this story. Don’t get me wrong, I love supernatural stuff (which I think most of my readers (all 104 of you!! Hi!!) know by now, hehe). But Dexter, in his first 2 books, gave absolutely no indication that he was anything other than human. And for the supernatural element to be introduced out of the blue in the third book of the series, well, I didn’t think it was a good idea. I guess Lindsay must have gotten a lot of grief after that one, because in the next two books, while he still talks about his Dark Passenger, it goes back to the way it was in the first two books, no weird demon mumbo-jumbo. There are 8 books in the series, and the author has said that this is it for Dexter. This was also (coincidentally? Who knows) Dexter’s last season on TV. I’ve read the first 5 books, and am looking forward to finishing the series (although I’m sad that there will be no more coming), and I’ve watched 7 and a half seasons of Dexter, still need to watch the last few episodes of number 8. Oh, one small word of warning. The prose is very purple, and the author has a slightly twisted sense of humour. I love it, but I thought I should give a heads up, for those that don’t like that writing style.

  1. Darkly Dreaming Dexter (2004)
  2. Dearly Devoted Dexter (2005)
  3. Dexter in the Dark (2007)
  4. Dexter by Design (2009)
  5. Dexter Is Delicious (2010)
  6. Double Dexter (2011)
  7. Dexter’s Final Cut (2013)
  8. Dexter Is Dead (2015)

 

4 – Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter by Laurell K Hamilton

AnitaBlake

When one of your favourite book series is at number 27, and the author seems to have no end in sight yet, you’re bound to end up reading a series that’s run (or running) out of steam. Which is why this series is now at number 4, when it was at number 1 for so long. Trying to condense 24 books into a understandable blurb is hard, but I’ll do my best to keep it short and sweet. Anita is an Animator, which means she raises the dead. She works for a firm that deals in dead raising for legal purposes (family disputes, a lost will, etc), but she’s also a sanctioned Federal Marshall and vampire executioner. When things get supernaturally hairy, the police call in Anita to take the big bad guys down. Slowly, as she moves more and more through the supernatural world, she makes friends, and soon, lovers, and discovers, through them, that she has a lot more power than she’d ever dreamed of. These were my favourite books for a very Anita_Blakelong time. I discovered them not long after high school, and they were completely amazing till about book 12 or 13. That’s when the sex started to get out of hand. I like a good, steamy sex scene as much as the next vampire fan, but when that’s all the books are, with no character development at all, and little to no plot even? No thanks. Hamilton has finally started listening to her fans, though, because the last two novels that I’ve read, Kiss the Dead and Affliction, were concentrating much less on the sex, and more on actual story, and (and this is a big deal, you Anita fans know what I mean) she finally seems to be able to let go of her hangups about sex and just do it already. Seriously, a few of her books were exactly like this: “Oh, I’m horny, need to feed the Ardeur.” *Starts to have sex, stops* “Oh no, I can’t do this again, it’s just wrong.” *After talking for two chapters, finally have the sex* “OMG, what’s happening? What did we do (this time)??” *Some new power was gained by her, or her people. “We’re so strong!! But we have the attitudes of high school drama queens!” *More sex, more complaining about the sex, and more drama, mostly with Asher* And, yup, that was pretty much all that there was to the books. Even the passing of the biggest of the bads, “Mommie Dearest”, I barely saw because it was lost in all the sex and angst. But, like I said, her last two were better, so here’s hoping we see something new soon, instead of just the same old boring porn. And for those who like comic books and graphic novels, Marvel has turned the first three of Hamilton’s books into comics. They’re sold in separate little floppy books (in sheaths, you know, those old-school comics), or you can get them all together bound in a hardcover (which is what I did). Each book made 3 hardcover comics, except the first, which made 2. I’ve got the first two  and sometime in the near future I hope to get the third one. I also have the prequel comic, The First Death, which was the story of one of her very first cases with fan-favourite Edward. I don’t know if Marvel is going to keep going with the comics, but I certainly hope so. They’re incredibly well done. Also, Hamilton has mentioned “being in talks” with producers of film and TV for the rights to film, but it seems she’s “been in talks” since the late 90’s. Not sure we’ll ever see Anita up on the big screen. A shame. Done Underworld style, it could be great fun!

  1. Guilty Pleasures (1993)
  2. The Laughing Corpse (1994)
  3. Circus of the Damned (1995)
  4. The Lunatic Cafe (1996)
  5. Bloody Bones (1996)
  6. The Killing Dance (1997)
  7. Burnt Offerings (1998)
  8. Blue Moon (1998)
  9. Obsidian Butterfly (2000)
  10. Narcissus in Chains (2001)
  11. Cerulean Sins (2003)
  12. Incubus Dreams (2004)
  13. Micah (2006)
  14. Danse Macabre (2006)
  15. The Harlequin (2007)
  16. Blood Noir (2008)
  17. Skin Trade (2009)
  18. Flirt (2010)
  19. Bullet (2010)
  20. Hit List (2011)
  21. Beauty (2012)
  22. Kiss the Dead (2012)
  23. Affliction (2013)
  24. Dancing (2013)
  25. Shutdown (2013)
  26. Jason (2014)
  27. Dead Ice (June 9, 2015)
  1. Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: The First Death (2007)
  2. Anita Blake Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures (2008)
  3. Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse – Animator (2009)
  4. Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse – Necromancer (2009)
  5. Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse – Executioner (2010)
  6. Anita Blake: Circus of The Damned – The Charmer (2010)
  7. Anita Blake: Circus of The Damned – The Ingenue (2011)
  8. Anita Blake: Circus of the Damned – The Scoundrel (Ongoing)

 

3 – Sookie Stackhouse, The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris

sookie-book-set

Here’s another light fluffy series that’s just so much fun and easy to read. I can easily pick up one of these books and finish it in a single sitting, which I often did after the new book came out. It was the end not only for Dexter this year, but for Sookie as well, her 13th adventure being her last. Not to say that she’s dead (of course I can’t say she isn’t, either, because as of now I’ve yet to read book 13). The story is this: Sookie Stackhouse is a young woman living in a tiny Louisiana town called Bon Temps. She’s a waitress at the local watering hole. Oh, and she’s a telepath. Living in the world has always been difficult for her, since she could hear all the thoughts of people around her, so she’s built up a wall to protect herself, the guise of stupidity. One day, she meets a man who’s thoughts she can’t read, and she becomes excited, following him out the door. Saving his life from a gang of V (vampire blood used as a drug) dealers, their bond is immediate and quick. Here starts Sookie’s story of womanhood and survival and, yes, of course, true-blood-castromance. The show I wish I could say is a good as the books, but it’s really not. Seasons 1, 3, and 4 are good, about half of season 2 is good. But season 5 and the other half of 2 are pure shite. Especially season 5. It was just… ugh… I don’t even know. I didn’t bother continuing the show after that. When the show first started, it seemed as though they were going to try stick to the books, which is why, the author is quoted as saying, that she sold the rights to HBO in the first place, that their vision was the closest to hers (I bet she regrets that now!) So season 1, pretty good. There were changes, but nothing super dramatic. Lafayette, who was nothing but a bit player in the books, got to live in the show (which I have to admit being a wonderful change, he’s an awesome character), and Jessica doesn’t exist in the books. I guess they wanted more female main characters for the show? I dunno. But it’s not too bad. I hated her at first, while she played the brat, but once she “put on her big girl shoes”, I liked her much more. The rest is pretty similar to the books. Murdered women, murdered Gran, the culprit is Arlene’s fiancée. Then season two… oh my god. Everything dealing with the vampires (the stuff that was actually in the books) was good, but everything else… that creepy (and not in a good way) demon chick and the black-eyed orgies and stuff… ugh. I’ve never seen anything so ridiculous (until I got to season 5, that is). But anyways, I won’t keep going on about everything they’ve changed or added in that series, or I’m going to be here all night. All I’ll add is that they shouldn’t be allowed to write “Based on the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris” in the opening credits any more, because season 5? Yeah, there was not one single thing in that season that happened in the books. They should have to write “Based on characters created by Charlaine Harris”, or however it is they say it when they take a character, but not the authors own stories.

  1. Dead Until Dark (2001)
  2. Living Dead in Dallas (2002)
  3. Club Dead (2003)
  4. Dead to the World (2004)
  5. Dead as a Doornail (2005)
  6. Definitely Dead (2006)
  7. All Together Dead (2007)
  8. From Dead to Worse (2008)
  9. Dead and Gone (2009)
  10. Dead in the Family (2010)
  11. Dead Reckoning (2011)
  12. Deadlocked (2012)
  13. Dead Ever After (2013)

 

2 – Special Agent Pendergast by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

pendergast

I honestly don’t remember if I saw the film The Relic first, or if I read the book. But what I can tell you is that I didn’t remember about one before I read/saw the other, which is a very, very good thing. Because these two could not have been more different. The biggest case in point being the fact that Pendergast, the heart of the book series, isn’t theReliceven in the film. But enough about that. I’ll just say that it’s a good, fun creature feature, and if you’ve read the book, put it out of your mind and you’ll be fine. As for the rest of the series, it’s amazing. The only book that I enjoyed a little less was the second one, Reliquary, the others I all but inhaled after buying them. The stories revolve a very peculiar FBI agent named Aloysius Pendergast. He’s absolutely brilliant at detecting things others cannot, and his knowledge about, well, everything really, is unmatched. He’s a modern day Sherlock Holmes, if you will, minus the deerstalker and cocaine. The stories are all based in scientific fact, but let’s say they really stretch that limit. The things that are “possible” in the books are very much akin to the fact that light speed travel could be “possible”. Possible, but not very likely, especially not with our current technology. Each book has it’s own evil-doer, but three books follow the other Pendergast, Diogenes. And he’s Moriarty to Pendergast’s Sherlock. These books are so good, but again, with everything on my list to read, I’ve fallen a bit behind. I’ve read 9 out of 13 books. And (I just found out, right this second on Wikipedia) that the next three books I have to read are another trilogy inside the series, this one about Pendergast’s wife, Helen. I just got it on audiobook, too, if I’m not mistaken. I’m looking forward to reading it now, more, since I’m writing about it. These books are just brilliant, very entertaining. If you like detective stories mixed with a little horror, this is definitely for you, and I’d highly recommend it. Hell, I’ll recommend it even if you don’t like horror. The books are good enough that I think even non-horror-lovers will enjoy them.

 

1 – A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin

game of thrones

This series, which now occupies the number one spot and is one of my very favourite book sets ever, I came upon as a complete accident. I had never heard of the books before, and this was before the show. I’d never  even heard of the author before. So one night, around 4am or so, I was visiting with my husband at his parents. As usual, I couldn’t sleep, but being away from home, I had nothing really to do, so I hunted around for something to read. My eyes set upon A Game of Thrones, but at that point I wasn’t interested. I’d asked my husband about it and he said something like “kinda like Lord of the Rings, with mostly humans and less magic”. Well that description got a big old “meh” from me, and I was uninterested. But, after rummaging around some more, there was nothing else. So with a resigned sigh, ice and fireI took the book and began to read. My mind, as you can probably tell, was blown, right from chapter one. The writing is so good, the characters are so real, you could literally almost see them coming to life on the page. I read it, and the following four, and am now impatiently awaiting book six, which, as of yet, doesn’t have a release date. Martin likes to keep his fans waiting I’ve heard. Books 3 and 4 are 5 years apart; books 4 and 5, 6 years. That’s an insane amount of time to keep fans waiting. It’s a testament to how good the books are that the fans haven’t just given up on him. There’s also the fact that we’ve now got a show to keep ourselves occupied, if only for a while. When I first heard that they were doing a show, I was super excited. I had read the first three books by that time, and had fallen deep in love with the world and was happy to see it was going to get filmed. My happiness faded once I heard who had bought the rights: HBO. After what they did to another of my favourite series (True Blood), I was scared that they’d put these books through the blender, too. But thankfully for me, and everyone else who loves the books, HBO has been doing a pretty damn good job of sticking to the story. There’s changes, of course, more sex (this is HBO, after all), and quite a bit of the “boring” descriptive stuff is cut out, but that’s only natural when you have to condense a book so big. There’s a thing or two they changed that I’m kinda hmm-ing about, as to how they’re going to fix it when that story line comes back later, but nothing overly dramatic. Season 5 of the show just started this month, I can’t wait! As for book 6? I guess we all just have to wait and see.

 

And I’m done! Phew!! Not sure why, but this post took me 3 days to complete. I had my layout all done, I knew approximately what I wanted to say, I just couldn’t seem to get it out. Or I’d zone out, just stare blankly at the screen. I hope you enjoy this, cause it almost did me in! But tonight I persevered! This laptop won’t be getting the best of me! Mwahahahaha!!! *ahem* Ok, I’m done…

M.

Top 15 Onscreen Witches

Back in May, I posted my Top 15 Onscreen Vampires, and the response I got was good enough that I decided to continue the “series”, this time ranking witches. I’ve picked characters from all over film and tv, both male and female. For the purposes of this article, I’ve described a witch as “a human who is born with or learns magic”. I’ve included some characters who aren’t necessarily called witches (or wizards) but who have magic, and I’ve left out those characters who, despite having magic, are not now, nor have they ever been, humans, like faeries, elves, angels, demons, etc. I’ve also chosen one single character per “world”, otherwise this list would end up being a mile long.

The witches aren’t in any order except alphabetical, and, as usual, spoiler alert!! And off we go! 🙂

 

Amanda Shelton, Simply Irresistible

Amanda

“I think I’ve loved you since that first day in the market.”
“You mean the day I had my hand up your pants? Men are so easy.”

Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Born in: New York City, date unknown but the movie takes place in modern times.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: With the help of a magical crab (yup, you read that right), Amanda becomes an extraordinary chef whose emotions go into her food, causing anything from laughter to tears to even floating on the ceiling.
Weaknesses: None but her own self-confidence (or lack thereof, rather).
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Bathsheba Sherman, The Conjuring

Bathsheeba

“She ran out to that tree by the dock, climbed up, proclaimed her love to Satan, cursed anyone who tried to take her land, and hung herself. Time of death was pronounced at 3:07 in the morning.”

Played by: Joseph Bishara
Born in: Rhode Island, 1812
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Telekinesis and possession of others
Weaknesses: Holy objects, exorcism and love.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Exorcised out of Carolyn by Ed.

 

Bavmorda, Willow

Bavmorda

“Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one… little… child?”

Played by: Jean Marsh
Born in: Nockmaar, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary (Jean Marsh is a handsome woman, but her character doesn’t stay attractive for very long).
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: All kinds of dark magic, from curses to transmogrification.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, white magic and lightning
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Willow tricks her into thinking he’s made little Elora disappear, and when she rushes towards him she knocks over all the components of her spell and is struck by lightning at the same time, sending her to the Netherworld she was planning on sending Elora to.

 

Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings trilogy / The Hobbit trilogy

Gandalf

“Never put it on, for then the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found.”

Played by: Ian McKellan
Born in: I’m sure it’s mentioned somewhere when and where Gandalf was born, but in the interest of saving time, let’s just say he was born in Middle Earth, and leave it at that :-p
Scary or sexy: Neither, actually, but Sir Ian does cut a proud figure.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Ability to conjure and control fire, control over water, spells and blessings, causing explosive blasts, conjure lightning, foresight abilities, some telepathic power, and the ability to communicate with animals.
Weaknesses: Trust in the wrong people, the Ring
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Hermione Granger (and pretty much everyone else in the series), Harry Potter octology
(*can I patent that word? I likes it! hehe)

Hermione

“No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good sign.”

Played by: Emma Watson
Born in: England, 1979
Scary or sexy: Sexy (once she came of age, naturally :-p )
Good or evil: Good
Powers: She can do almost anything by flicking her wand, brewing a potion, or hopping on a broomstick.
Weaknesses: Endless curiosity that could get her into trouble, habit of being a know-it-all, Ron Weasley.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

Horned King

“Soon the Black Cauldron will be mine. Its evil power will course through my veins, and I shall make you Cauldron-born! Yes, yes. Oh, yes! Then you will worship me! Me! Oh, my soldiers. How long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men.”

Played by: John Hurt
Born in: Prydain, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Necromancy, all manners of dark magic
Weaknesses: Love and sacrifice, the Black Cauldron
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: When Gurgi sacrificed himself by jumping into the Cauldron, all of the Cauldron-born are sucked back into it, dragging the Horned King in with them.

 

Jareth, Labyrinth

Jareth

“I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave!”

Played by: David Bowie
Born in: Unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil(ish)
Powers: Shape-shifting, slowing and speeding up time, master of illusions, some clairvoyance through his crystals, the ability to conjure things from nothing.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, Sarah
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Lamia, Stardust

Lamia

“You shall not see the star, touch it, smell or hear it. You will not perceive her even if she stands before you. Pray you never meet me again.”

Played by: Michelle Pfeiffer
Born in: Kingdom of Stormhold, date unknown but she and her sisters are described as ‘centuries old’.
Scary or sexy: Both
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Pretty much anything, from transfiguration to conjuration and the animation of dead bodies.
Weaknesses: Love
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: With Tristan in her arms, Yvaine lets her love for him shine, and her pure light disintegrates Lamia.

 

Melisandre, Game of Thrones

Melisandre

“Death is coming for everyone and everything. A darkness that will swallow the dawn.”

Played by: Carice van Houten
Born in: Asshai, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: I think the character was meant to be more ambiguous than straight good or evil, but mo matter what good comes from helping Stannis is deeply over-shadowed by the horrible things she does. In her case, the ends don’t justify the means, and burning folks alive is just plain evil.
Powers: Clairvoyance, dark magic, giving “birth” to shadow demons, immunity to (at least some) poisons.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, religious fanaticism
Alive at the end?: As of where I am in the show (end of season 3), yes. I’ve read all the books, but I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read yet, or who are waiting after the show.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Merlin, various films and tv shows

Merlin

“I’m gone, but then, I’m not gone. So if I do leave, you can never be sure that I am gone, can you?”

Played by: Various actors, including Karl Swenson, Sam Neill, Joseph Fiennes, and Colin Morgan
Born in: England, date unknown
Scary or sexy: He’s not scary, but usually he’s portrayed as an old man, so he’s not really sexy either.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Various or none, depending which movie or show you’re watching, but they can range from everything from transforming himself into animals, to casting illusions, and much more.
Weaknesses: Again depends on the film, but he’s often shown as having had trusted the wrong people, and is betrayed.
Alive at the end?: In everything I’ve seen him in, yes.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Winifred Sanderson (and her sisters), Hocus Pocus

Sanderson sisters

“My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow’s Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin will summon us from under the ground. We shall be back, and the lives of all the children of Salem will be mine!”

Played by: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy
Born in: Salem. They were executed in 1693, but it’s unclear how long they’d been alive before then. I’m assuming a lot.
Scary or sexy: Neither. They’re pretty funny-looking, actually.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark magic spells, including transforming children into animals, cursing hundreds of people at once, and sucking out the life-force of children to keep their youth.
Weaknesses: Hanging, fire, holy ground
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: While trying to suck out Max’s essence, the witches accidentally end up on hallowed ground, and the first rays of dawn’s light disintegrates them.

 

Sally and Gillian Owens, Practical Magic

Sally & Gillian

“Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch! Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch!”
“You’d think after three hundred years they’d come up with a better rhyme!”

Played by: Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman
Born in: The States (not sure which one), exact date unknown, but I imagine it was some time in the 70’s.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Love spells, healing spells, some clairvoyance, and many other spells.
Weaknesses: A long standing family curse that any man who loves an Owens woman will die young.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

Ursula

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I can’t stand it! It’s too easy! The child is in love with a human! And not just any human. A prince! [laughs] Her daddy’ll love that. King Triton’s headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden.

Played by: Pat Carroll
Born in: Atlantica, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark spells, the ability to turn merfolk (including herself) into humans (or better looking merfolk), able to see whatever her familiars see, no matter the distance.
Weaknesses: None save arrogance, and, I guess, being impaled :-p
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After growing to an enormous size, Eric is able to steer the ship right towards her, and the broken mast goes right through her breast as she’s struck by lightning. She wraps her huge tentacles around the broken ship, and sinks to the ocean floor, dead.

 

The Warlock, Warlock and Warlock: The Armageddon

Warlock

“Of all the curiosities here I’ve seen, none have surprised me more than this.”

Played by: Julian Sands
Born in: Boston, year unknown (he was slated to be executed in 1691 when he escaped to the present time, but it’s unknown how old her really is).
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Dark curses, flight, jumping through time, and more.
Weaknesses: Nails pounded into his foot prints, salt
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Kassandra injects him full of salt water, and he bursts into flames. He is reborn in the sequel, but is vanquished again, this time being stabbed by a knife made from the same material as the Holy Grail.

 

Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow

“I’ll give Xander a call. What’s his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I’m-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.”
“Meow!”
“Really? Thanks! I’ve never gotten a ‘meow’ before.”

Played by: Alyson Hannigan
Born in: Sunnydale California, 1981
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good (except for a handful of episodes in season 6)
Powers: Pretty much everything one can think of.
Weaknesses: Addiction to the magics, fear of going bad again, Tara
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

And here, a few honourable mentions:

The Grand High Witch (The Witches)
Sarah and Nancy (The Craft)
Mombi (Return to Oz)
Lady van Tassell (Sleepy Hollow)
Aleesa (Silent Hill)
Claudia Hoffman (Snow White: A Tale of Terror)
Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove)

And that’s my witchy list!! Which witch is your favourite? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow
(1999) Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Walken

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I absolutely adore this film. This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous (as is his co-star Christina Ricci). I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this film, but I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was in the three figures. And my enjoyment of it has never faded. If you haven’t seen this and and are looking for an atmospheric horror flick, but don’t like a lot of splatter, then I reccomend this to you very highly. It walks that tightrope line of bringing some dark humour to the film, without making it silly. Harder to do than you might think, judging the number of really effective horror comedies out there (not that this is a comedy, but anyways..). If I could give it an 11, I would, but as it is, it gets 10/10.

This film is currently on Netflix. Enjoy!

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Blair Witch Project

The Blair Witch Project
(1999) Heather Donahue, Michael Williams and Joshua Leonard

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The Blair Witch Project was brilliant in so many ways. It was well thought out, a great idea, well marketed and groundbreaking. That being said, I hated it. I don’t know if I would have liked it more had I seen it not knowing it was fake. I sat there watching, waiting, hoping it would get better, and when it ended with never having done anything, I threw my remaining popcorn at the tv. I’ve seen a a lot of horror films in my day. Like A LOT. And not many of them bored me quite as much as Blair Witch did. We also have this film to thank for the ever-increasing amount of found-footage films being made. So thanks so much!! That was sarcasm, in case you missed it. These films need to stop. No, really, we’ve had enough. 1/10, only for the cool way it was marketed.

I think the film is on Netflix, but I’m not 100% sure. Go check for yourself if you’re interested :-p

M.