Thine Ears Shall Bleed (2024)
Andrew Hovelson, Hannah Cabell, Lucas Near-Verbrugghe, Lea Zawada, Duke Huston
Directed by: Ben Bigelow
I found out about this movie from mistylane over at Cinema Scminema and thought it sounded at least somewhat interesting, so I went over to Tubi and found it. And, oh boy…
In the 1860’s American West, a minister and his family are traveling in a covered wagon when they hear a mysterious sound coming from the woods. Believing the sound to be God, they worship it, until they start to discover the sound might be something much more sinister.
I don’t often use Tubi, only as a last resort really, if what I’m looking for is there and nowhere else, cause Tubi has ads, and ads give me toothaches. But this sounded intriguing enough that I decided to watch it anyways. And while it wasn’t god-awful, it wasn’t great either. I believe mistylane was of the same opinion.
So first, the acting. It was bad. And the dialogue, worse. People just don’t talk like that, even in the 1860’s. The acting wasn’t quite bad enough to make my ears bleed (eh eh), but really, it wasn’t far. The son in particular was really bad. Which is too bad cause he was kinda cute. Maybe? It was actually hard to tell cause he kept making weird faces.
As for the story, it was an interesting concept. But a good part of the movie is just plain dull. Now, I do love me a good slow burn, but it still has to be interesting, the characters engaging, and this was neither. The first half is basically the characters just walking around. There had to be a better way to do this. Now the second half was much better than the first, but really, the bar was set real low. But there were actually some interesting things happening. And the twist, if it can be called that, was good, even if I did see it coming a mile away. They might have explored other mythologies to make it more interesting, but whatever, it was fine.
SPOILERS INCOMING
But the ending is where I have my biggest gripe. So Mr Booker, who we now know is Lucifer, is looking for a pure soul so he can escape the woods (ok? But why is he stuck in the woods in the first place?). The daughter was not, apparently because she wanted more in life than playing an organ in a tiny church. The wife was not because, and this is great, she sinned in independence. The father was not because he pridefully wanted a bigger flock to come to his church. He was also tricked into killing his wife, so definitely not pure. So that leaves the son. But he also killed. Booker told him he’d make him blind again if he didn’t shoot his father. And so he did. But how does this make him pure? Wouldn’t choosing to kill over being blind make him impure? Wouldn’t purity have been sacrificing his sight to save his father? And then, of course, he loses his sight again anyways as soon as they leave the woods, Booker telling him that he wouldn’t need it to enjoy what was coming, so it really was just another trick. But again, how is Luke pure after killing, but the father is not? I guess maybe I’m thinking about it too hard? Meh..
So, do I recommend it? No, not really. There’s the bare bones of a good story here, but all of the dressing isn’t great. I give it a ho-hum 4.5/10.
M.
This movie is currently streaming on Tubi and Fawesome.
VampirePlacebo * Mel's Entertainment Page 