Thine Ears Shall Bleed (2024) Andrew Hovelson, Hannah Cabell, Lucas Near-Verbrugghe, Lea Zawada, Duke Huston Directed by: Ben Bigelow
I found out about this movie from mistylane over at Cinema Scminema and thought it sounded at least somewhat interesting, so I went over to Tubi and found it. And, oh boy…
In the 1860’s American West, a minister and his family are traveling in a covered wagon when they hear a mysterious sound coming from the woods. Believing the sound to be God, they worship it, until they start to discover the sound might be something much more sinister.
I don’t often use Tubi, only as a last resort really, if what I’m looking for is there and nowhere else, cause Tubi has ads, and ads give me toothaches. But this sounded intriguing enough that I decided to watch it anyways. And while it wasn’t god-awful, it wasn’t great either. I believe mistylane was of the same opinion.
So first, the acting. It was bad. And the dialogue, worse. People just don’t talk like that, even in the 1860’s. The acting wasn’t quite bad enough to make my ears bleed (eh eh), but really, it wasn’t far. The son in particular was really bad. Which is too bad cause he was kinda cute. Maybe? It was actually hard to tell cause he kept making weird faces.
As for the story, it was an interesting concept. But a good part of the movie is just plain dull. Now, I do love me a good slow burn, but it still has to be interesting, the characters engaging, and this was neither. The first half is basically the characters just walking around. There had to be a better way to do this. Now the second half was much better than the first, but really, the bar was set real low. But there were actually some interesting things happening. And the twist, if it can be called that, was good, even if I did see it coming a mile away. They might have explored other mythologies to make it more interesting, but whatever, it was fine.
SPOILERS INCOMING
But the ending is where I have my biggest gripe. So Mr Booker, who we now know is Lucifer, is looking for a pure soul so he can escape the woods (ok? But why is he stuck in the woods in the first place?). The daughter was not, apparently because she wanted more in life than playing an organ in a tiny church. The wife was not because, and this is great, she sinned in independence. The father was not because he pridefully wanted a bigger flock to come to his church. He was also tricked into killing his wife, so definitely not pure. So that leaves the son. But he also killed. Booker told him he’d make him blind again if he didn’t shoot his father. And so he did. But how does this make him pure? Wouldn’t choosing to kill over being blind make him impure? Wouldn’t purity have been sacrificing his sight to save his father? And then, of course, he loses his sight again anyways as soon as they leave the woods, Booker telling him that he wouldn’t need it to enjoy what was coming, so it really was just another trick. But again, how is Luke pure after killing, but the father is not? I guess maybe I’m thinking about it too hard? Meh..
So, do I recommend it? No, not really. There’s the bare bones of a good story here, but all of the dressing isn’t great. I give it a ho-hum 4.5/10.
M.
This movie is currently streaming on Tubi and Fawesome.
Supernatural horror is my favourite category of horror films (and books for that matter), and in that subgenre, possession films (and books) are my favourites. I’ve seen and read so many that they tend to blur together, but a few of them really stand out. Here are my top 15 possession films. You’ll notice, when called for, I put “true story” in quotations. I definitely don’t believe any of this stuff happened for real, with the exception of two court cases for numbers 7 and 2. But everything surrounding them, that’s a big no. Enjoy!
Number 15
Title:Prey for the Devil Year: 2022 Starring: Jacqueline Byers, Christian Navarro, Posy Taylor, Colin Salmon, Nicholas Ralph, Virginia Madsen, Ben Cross, Debora Zhecheva Directed by: Daniel Stamm Plot: A nun prepares to perform an exorcism and comes face to face with a demonic force with mysterious ties to her past. Why I love it: This is the film that I’ve seen most recently, and I have to say, I was quite impressed. It didn’t reinvent the wheel or anything, but it was a good time.
Number 14
Title: Late Night with the Devil Year: 2023 Starring: David Dastmalchian, Laura Gordon, Ingrid Torelli, Ian Bliss, Fayssal Bazzi, Rhys Auteri, Georgina Haig, Josh Quong Tart Directed by: Cameron Cairnes, Colin Cairnes Plot: A late night tv host in 1977, in an effort to save his dying show, has on a girl who is supposedly possessed in a live broadcast that goes horribly wrong. Why I love it: This was quite a unique film, and they did an amazing job recreating the vibe of a cheesy 70’s talk show. It might have been higher on my list, but I wasn’t a big fan of the ending.
Number 13
Title:The Possession of Michael King Year: 2014 Starring: Shane Johnson, Ella Anderson, Cara Pifko, Julie McNiven, Tomas Arana, Patricia Healy, Cullen Douglas, Jed Rees, Dale Dickey Directed by: David Jung Plot: Michael is an atheist who recently lost his wife in an unfortunate accident. After confronting his late wife’s “spiritual adviser” (a tarot card reader), he decides to make a documentary featuring what he believes will be proof that the supernatural doesn’t exist. Why I love it: This little film is so much better than it had any right being. As someone who hates found footage, I found this film so good that I was able to look past it.
Number 12
Title:Evil Dead Year: 2013 Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore, Inca the Dog Directed by: Fede Alvarez Plot: Five friends head to a remote cabin to help one of them kick a drug habit, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. Why I love it: I hated the original, but this remake/sequel is pretty awesome. So much more gory than I usually like my films, but it was very well done, so I was able to enjoy it despite that.
Number 11
Title: The Blackcoat’s Daughter Year: 2015 Starring: Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Boynton, Emma Roberts, James Remar, Lauren Holly, Greg Ellwand Directed by: Osgood Perkins Plot: During winter break, two students stay in an all-girls boarding school in the company of a terrifying presence. Why I love it: Wonderful, quiet, and weird. I loved it. What a gut-punch of an ending.
Number 10
Title:The Vatican Tapes Year: 2015 Starring: Olivia Taylor Dudley, Michael Peña, Dougray Scott, John Patrick Amedori, Peter Andersson, Djimon Hounsou, Kathleen Robertson Directed by: Mark Neveldine Plot: A priest and two Vatican exorcists must do battle with an ancient satanic force to save the soul of a young woman. Why I love it: I really wasn’t expecting much when I picked this up in a Walmart bargain bin. Imagine my surprise when I actually loved it! Just a fun, good time.
Number 9
Title:Ouija: Origin of Evil Year: 2016 Starring: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas, Parker Mack, Halle Charlton, Kate Siegel, Doug Jones Directed by: Mike Flanagan Plot: In 1967 Los Angeles, a girl tries to communicate with her late father through a Ouija board, but unleashes a demon instead. Why I love it: I had no intention of watching it, since the first one was awful. But the trailer intrigued me enough that I gave it a chance. And I’m glad I did. Mike Flanagan can really do no wrong.
Number 8
Title: Fallen Year: 1998 Starring: Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Donald Sutherland, Embeth Davidtz, James Gandolfini, Elias Koteas, Gabriel Casseus, Robert Joy Directed by: Gregory Hoblit Plot: Homicide detective John Hobbes witnesses the execution of serial killer Edgar Reese. Soon after the execution, the killings start again, and they are very similar to Reese’s style. He is then taunted by an entity that can jump from body to body. Why I love it: This is such an under-rated gem, I rarely hear people talking about it, which is a real shame. It’s a great story with a stacked cast. It’s not a conventional possession movie, but still fits the category.
Number 7
Title:The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It Year: 2021 Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ruairi O’Connor, Sarah Catherine Hook, Julian Hilliard, John Noble, Eugenie Bondurant, Shannon Kook, Steve Coulter Directed by: Michael Chaves Plot: Arne Cheyenne Johnson stabs and murders his landlord, claiming to be under demonic possession while Ed and Lorraine Warren investigate the case and try to prove his innocence. Why I love it: I may be in the minority here, but this is my second favourite Conjuring movie. I just love the characters so much (as long as I separate them from their real-life counterparts), and I love spending time with them. Based on a “true story”, based on The Devil in Connecticut by Gerald Brittle.
Number 6
Title:The Exorcist Year: 1973 Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Jason Miller, Max von Sydow, Lee J Cobb, Kitty Winn, Jack MacGowran, William O’Malley Directed by: William Friedkin Plot: When a mysterious entity possesses a young girl, her mother seeks the help of two Catholic priests to save her life. Why I love it: I mean, it’s the OG, how could I not love it? I feel like I should apologize for not having it higher, but my top 5 are really, really good, hehe. A wonderful case study in faith and despair. Based on The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty.
Number 5
Title:Stigmata Year: 1999 Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Enrico Colantoni, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa Directed by: Rupert Wainwright Plot: When a young woman becomes afflicted by stigmata, a priest is sent to investigate her case, which may have severe ramifications for his faith and for the Catholic church itself. Why I love it: My lifelong crush on Gabriel Byrne aside, this is just an awesome movie. I must have seen it over 20 times!
Number 4
Title: The Exorcist III Year: 1990 Starring: George C Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller, Nicol Williamson, Scott Wilson, Nancy Fish Directed by: William Peter Blatty Plot: A police lieutenant uncovers more than he bargained for as his investigation of a series of murders, which have all the hallmarks of the deceased Gemini serial killer, leads him to question the patients of a psychiatric ward. Why I love it: It may upset some people that this one is higher than the first one, but I simply like this one more. George C Scott was born to play this role, and Brad Dourif is absolutely electric as the Gemini killer. And it has the best jump scare in movie history, full stop. Based on Legion by William Peter Blatty.
Number 3
Title:Deliver Us From Evil Year: 2014 Starring: Eric Bana, Edgar Ramírez, Joel McHale, Olivia Munn, Sean Harris, Chris Coy, Lulu Wilson, Olivia Horton, Dorian Missick, Mike Houston Directed by: Scott Derrickson Plot: A detective and a priest join forces to stop an ancient evil that is spreading across New York. Why I love it: As soon as I saw it was directed by Scott Derrickson, I knew I would love it. It’s got great characters, good mystery, some tense scenes, and a killer exorcism. What else could you want? Based on a “true story”, based on Beware the Night by Ralph Sarchie.
Number 2
Title:The Exorcism of Emily Rose Year: 2005 Starring: Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Jennifer Carpenter, Campbell Scott, Colm Feore, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Joshua Close, JR Bourne, Mary Beth Hurt Directed by: Scott Derrickson Plot: A lawyer takes on a negligent homicide case involving a priest who performed an exorcism on a young girl. Why I love it: Scott Derrickson again, I know. I didn’t plan it like this, I swear! This film is at times poignant, at times tense, and at times downright scary. Based on a “true story”, based on The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel by Dr Felicitas Goodman.
Number 1
Title:The Conjuring Year: 2013 Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Joey King, Shanley Caswell, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton, Hayley McFarland, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Sterling Jerins, Joseph Bishara Directed by: James Wan Plot: Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren work to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse. Why I love it: This is my comfort movie. When I don’t feel well, if I’m in the hospital, or if I simply don’t know what to do with myself, I’ll throw this film on and I’ll immediately feel better. Based on a “true story”, based on House of Darkness House of Light by Andrea Perron.
Nosferatu (2024) Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Ralph Ineson, and Emma Corrin Directed by: Robert Eggers
So, I’ve been meaning to write about this one since I saw it in the cinema when it came out. But I’ve been really bad at blogging these days, so I never got around to it. I’m trying to break the cycle now, so here it is.
Newly-wed Ellen is haunted by an evil vampire who is infatuated with her. When her husband goes to the vampire’s castle to settle the agreement of buying a new house in Germany, he becomes a prisoner while the vampire is free to pursue Ellen.
I went into this very hesitantly. Nosferatu (1922) is, of course, a classic, and I absolutely adore Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992). I didn’t think that this movie would show me anything new while remaining faithful to the source material. I also am not a huge fan of Robert Eggers as a director. Well, I was very wrong. I absolutely adored this film. At 2 hours and 12 minutes, it’s quite long for a horror film, but it didn’t feel long to me. I found the pacing, while, yes, a little slow, perfect, and I was never bored. Didn’t look at my watch once!
I know that Eggers is a stickler for detail, and wants everything in a period piece to be perfect. So I was not surprised at how beautiful the film is. The costuming, the sets, the setting, everything was on point. The one tiny nit-pick I have is why do the characters all have British accents when this film takes place in Germany. I was quite surprised at that. But otherwise this film is near perfect. Bill Skarsgård already proved that he was able to portray a monster in It, and he does it again here. He absolutely oozes evil from every pore. And I was rather surprised at Lily-Rose Depp. I honestly didn’t think much of her besides the fact that she’s Johnny’s daughter (nepo-baby!!). But she embraced this role whole-heartedly and really gave it her all. She was wonderful. The rest of the main cast I already knew were going to be great.
So do I recommend it? Absolutely, with a caveat. If you’re (very) easily bored, or are not a fan of horror, then no. I tried to show this to my mom and she made it only a quarter of the way through, saying it’s boring. But me? 9.5/10. Very nearly perfect!
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