My Top 30 Films of the 2000’s

Before I start, I have to right a horrible wrong in my 90’s list. I don’t know how, but there are 2 glaring omissions that would be in the list. 1995’s Copycat, starring Sigourney Weaver. And 1992’s Batman Returns, starring Michael Keaton. They would both be pretty high on the list, and I have no idea how I forgot them. There’s also one that would be in the honourable mentions, 1996’s Freeway, starring Reese Witherspoon. Seriously, my brain is a sieve sometimes. Ok, now that that’s out of the way, here we go.

By the 2000’s I had already started to watch less movies, so this list was a little easier to make. I still have a few honourable mentions, but not nearly as many as the 90’s list. So without any further ado, here are my top 30 films of the 2000’s.

Number 30

Title: Underworld
Year: 2003
Plot: Selene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons.
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Shane Brolly, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Sophia Myles, Erwin Leder, Wentworth Miller, Kevin Grevioux
Directed by: Len Wiseman
Based on: An original screenplay written by Danny McBride.
Notes: The 2000’s saw the beginning of the “slick horror” films, and this is a perfect example of that. It’s a goth’s wet dream, all latex and straps and beautiful people. It’s definitely a case of style over substance, but it’s still a fun popcorn movie.

Number 29

Title: The Count of Monte Cristo
Year: 2002
Plot: A young man, falsely imprisoned by his jealous “friend”, escapes and uses a hidden treasure to exact his revenge.
Starring: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Dagmara Dominczyk, Richard Harris, Luis Guzmán, Henry Cavill, James Frain, Patrick Godfrey, Michael Wincott
Directed by: Kevin Reynolds
Based on: The book Le Comte de Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas.
Notes: What a wonderful retelling of an already wonderful book. Plus, tiny 17 year old Henry Cavill is almost too adorable for words.

Number 28

Title: Zodiac
Year: 2007
Plot: Between 1968 and 1983, a San Francisco cartoonist becomes an amateur detective obsessed with tracking down the Zodiac Killer, an unidentified individual who terrorizes Northern California with a killing spree.
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Brian Cox, John Carroll Lynch, Chloë Sevigny, Elias Koteas, Dermot Mulroney
Directed by: David Fincher
Based on: The non-fiction books Zodiac and Zodiac Unmasked by Robert Graysmith.
Notes: David Fincher proves yet again how good he with this type of film. Tense from start to finish, it’s an unflinching look at the horrors perpetrated by the Zodiac killer, and the toll it took on the detectives who worked the case. And after going through all the evidence myself, I have to agree with the film’s conclusion that Arthur Leigh Allen was the killer.

Number 27

Title: Silent Hill
Year: 2006
Plot: Rose Da Silva takes her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the town of Silent Hill in an attempt to cure her of her ailment. After a violent car crash, Sharon disappears and Rose begins a horrific journey to get her back.
Starring: Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean, Jodelle Ferland, Deborah Kara Unger, Kim Coates, Tanya Allen, Alice Krige
Directed by: Christophe Gans
Based on: The Silent Hill video game series created by Konami.
Notes: This is one of those films that you only watch once, even though it’s really good. At least it is for me, and I’ll tell you why. Little girl barbeque *intense shudder*. But all the best elements of the game are beautifully, and horrifyingly, brought to life. It’s tense, it’s creepy, and better acted than other video game adaptations.

Number 26

Title: Shrek
Year: 2001
Plot: A mean lord exiles fairytale creatures to the swamp home of a grumpy ogre, who must go on a quest and rescue a princess for the lord in order to get his land back.
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, Conrad Vernon, Vincent Cassel, Jim Cummings
Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson
Based on: The children’s picture book Shrek! by William Steig.
Notes: This film is so much fun. Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy play off each other perfectly, and the result is hilarious. There’s also a ton of slightly off colour jokes that adults will get but not the kids, so it’s fun for all ages.

Number 25

Title: The Mothman Prophecies
Year: 2002
Plot: A recently widowed reporter goes to a small town to investigate strange, possibly supernatural, happenings.
Starring: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Will Patton, Lucinda Jenney, Yvonne Erickson, David Eigenberg, Debra Messing
Directed by: Mark Pellington
Based on: The non-fiction book The Mothman Prophecies by John Keel.
Notes: A total hidden gem, I never hear people talk about this film, and it’s a real shame. It’s so good, very well acted, and tense. A good time.

Number 24

Title: Gladiator
Year: 2000
Plot: A former Roman General sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery.
Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, Spencer Treat Clark
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Based on: While not based on a true story, it is historical fiction that uses real figures and settings to tell a fictional tale.
Notes: Ancient history is something I eat right up, so even a fictional story set in ancient times is something I’ll likely love (unless they fuck it up completely).

Number 23

Title: Queen of the Damned
Year: 2002
Plot: The vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires.
Starring: Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez, Paul McGann, Lena Olin, Matthew Newton, Claudia Black, Christian Manon, Bruce Spence, Tiriel Mora
Directed by: Michael Rymer
Based on: The books The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice (more or less…)
Notes: Yes, I’m aware how bad this movie is. But that’s part of its charm! It’s only very loosely based on Anne Rice’s amazing novels, and while I wish they had gotten the same lush treatment that Interview did, I’m not at all upset with how this turned out. The soundtrack is absolutely killer, standouts being David Draiman’s Forsaken and Jay Gordon’s Slept So Long.

Number 22

Title: Jeepers Creepers
Year: 2001
Plot: Trish and Darry are driving home for spring break when they encounter a being who eats parts of his victims to reshape its own body.
Starring: Gina Philips, Justin Long, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher, Eileen Brennan, Brandon Smith
Directed by: Victor Salva
Based on: While not a true story, the opening scene where Trish and Darry witness a man dumping a body is heavily influenced by a case in 1990. Ray and Marie Thornton witnessed Dennis DePue disposing of his wife’s body behind an abandoned schoolhouse. DePue subsequently chased the siblings in his van.
Notes: Ok, I had no idea that the opening scene was based on a true story! It’s amazing what you can find out with a little research, hehe. But this film is so much fun, silly title aside. The Creeper is such a fun villain, and how cute was Justin Long in this??

Number 21

Title: Ice Age
Year: 2002
Plot: Manny the mammoth, Sid the loquacious sloth, and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger go on a comical quest to return a human baby back to his father, across a world on the brink of an ice age.
Starring: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Cedric the Entertainer, Stephen Root, Diedrich Bader, Alan Tudyk, Jane Krakowski
Directed by: Carlos Saldanha, Chris Wedge
Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael Berg, Michael J Wilson, and Peter Ackerman
Notes: This has to be one of my very favourite animated films. It’s absolutely hilarious and heart-warming at the same time. It’s animated beautifully and has a simple yet wonderful message of love and acceptance.

Number 20

Title: Identity
Year: 2003
Plot: Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rain storm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they’re being killed off one by one.
Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Ray Liotta, John Hawkes, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C. McGinley, William Lee Scott, Jake Busey, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Rebecca De Mornay, Bret Loehr
Directed by: James Mangold
Based on: The book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (while not a direct adaptation, it adopts the same “ten strangers in an isolated location” premise and kills them off one by one, incorporating a modern twist).
Notes: The film is so tense, so good, with a killer (pun totally intended) twist before twists were a dime a dozen. The only part of the film I dislike is the very last scene. It’s just over a minute long, and undoes everything the film was trying to do. I always turn it off just before this scene. It doesn’t exist to me.

Number 19

Title: Harry Potter(s)
Year: 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2009
Plot: The trials and tribulations of Harry Potter and his friends at a wizarding school while they try fight a villain long thought dead.
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Gary Oldman, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Bonnie Wright, Kenneth Branagh, John Cleese, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Issacs, Julie Walters, David Bradley, Mark Williams, Toby Jones (v.o.), Richard Harris, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Emma Thompson, Warwick Davis, Brendan Gleeson, Robert Pattinson, Katie Leung, Clémence Poésy, Fiona Shaw, Evanna Lynch, Natalia Tena, Imelda Staunton, Richard Griffiths, Helen McCrory
Directed by: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates
Based on: The first 6 books in the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)
Notes: Ok, so maybe I’m cheating here, but I didn’t want a good chunk of the list to be Harry Potter films, so I lumped them all into one. Sure, the author is problematic, but HP Lovecraft was a raging racist. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy their work.

Number 18

Title: Mr Brooks
Year: 2007
Plot: Mr Brooks is a well respected businessman who highlights as a serial killer. When he’s photographed at his latest murder site, he must do as the photographer says or he’ll be turned in to police.
Starring: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, William Hurt, Dane Cook, Danielle Panabaker, Marg Helgenberger, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Lindsay Crouse
Directed by: Bruce A Evans
Based on: An original screenplay written by Bruce A Evans and Raynold Gideon.
Notes: I’m a sucker for serial killer films, and I think this is one of the great ones. Except for the last two minutes. They change an otherwise cool and collected character into a blubbering mess, and I hate it. Another one I shut off before the end.

Number 17

Title: A Knight’s Tale
Year: 2001
Plot: After his master dies, a peasant squire, fueled by his desire for food (and glory), creates a new identity for himself as a knight and enters jousting competitions.
Starring: Heath Ledger, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon, Paul Bettany, Laura Fraser, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell, James Purefoy
Directed by: Brian Helgeland
Based on: While not a direct adaptation of a specific book, it is heavily inspired by Geoffrey Chaucer’s 14th-century work The Knight’s Tale from The Canterbury Tales.
Notes: Melding middle ages with hints of the modern age, this film is so much fun. Heath Ledger made me absolutely swoon as William Thatcher, the squire who dreams of greatness. The jousting sequences are absolutely amazing!

Number 16

Title: 1408
Year: 2007
Plot: Author Michael Enslin, who specializes in debunking paranormal occurrences, checks into the fabled room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel in New York City and soon confronts genuine terror.
Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Jasmine Jessica Anthony, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr
Directed by: Mikael Håfström
Based on: The short story 1408 by Stephen King
Notes: I actually wasn’t crazy about this film the first time I watched it. I’m not sure why I watched it again, but I’m glad I did. I quite love it now.

Number 15

Title: Pitch Black
Year: 2000
Plot: A transport ship crashes and leaves its crew stranded on a desert planet inhabited by bloodthirsty creatures that come out during an eclipse.
Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Keith David, Lewis Fitz-Gerald, Rhiana Griffith, Claudia Black, John Moore
Directed by: David Twohy
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy, Ken Wheat, and Jim Wheat.
Notes: I might be in the minority here, but I absolutely love this film. It’s such an awesome, tense film with some great characters (plus a few throw away ones, but I suppose that’s par for the course for a horror movie).

Number 14

Title: Wall-E
Year: 2008
Plot: In a future where humans have temporarily abandoned Earth, a trash-compacting robot falls in love with a flying droid and helps her on her quest to restore hope to mankind.
Starring: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver, MackInTalk Digital Performer
Directed by: Andrew Stanton
Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Stanton and Jim Reardon.
Notes: Who knew a film with so little dialog could be so engaging? I recently rewatched this and I loved it just as much as I did back then. Literally perfect film.

Number 13

Title: Signs
Year: 2002
Plot: A widowed former reverend living with his children and brother on a Pennsylvania farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields, which suggests something more frightening to come.
Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones, M Night Shyamalan, Patricia Kalember, Merritt Wever
Directed by: M Night Shyamalan
Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan.
Notes: I love this film. Sometimes heart-warming, sometimes spooky, it’s so well done. And it has one of the best jumpscares ever.

Number 12

Title: The Eye (Gin Gwai)
Year: 2002
Plot: A blind musician receives a corneal transplant, only to discover she can see ghosts and terrifying supernatural visions, leading her to investigate the donor’s past.
Starring: Lee Sin-Je, Lawrence Chou, Candy Lo, Chutcha Rujinanon, Yut Lai So, Edmund Chen, Yin Ping Ko, Wisarup Annuar
Directed by: Danny Pang, Oxide Chun Pang
Based on: An original screenplay written by the Pang brothers. They were inspired by a newspaper report they read about a girl who committed suicide after a corneal transplant.
Notes: Forget the awful American remake with Jessica Alba, this Hong Kong/Singapore film is where it’s at. Tense and sometimes genuinely terrifying, this one will have you leery of elevators for years!

Number 11

Title: Repo! The Genetic Opera
Year: 2008
Plot: A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however.
Starring: Alexa PenaVega, Anthony Stewart Head, Terrance Zdunich, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, Paris Hilton, Bill Moseley, Kevin ‘ohGr’ Ogilvie, Sarah Power
Directed by: Darren Lynn Bousman
Based on: A 2002 stage musical of the same name (originally titled The Necromerchant’s Debt) written and composed by Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich.
Notes: I generally am not a fan of musicals. The only exceptions, I guess, are animated films, but they don’t really fall under the umbrella of “musical”. But when I saw this, a goth musical starring a bunch of people I knew, I had to give it a try. And boy did I not regret it! This film is absolutely awesome, and all of the songs are amazing! Everyone did a great job with it, even, surprisingly, Paris Hilton.

Number 10

Title: X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand
Year: 2000, 2003, 2006
Plot: In a world where mutants (evolved super-powered humans) exist and are discriminated against, two groups form for an inevitable clash: the supremacist Brotherhood, and the pacifist X-Men.
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Aaron Stanford, Shawn Ashmore, Kelsey Grammer, Ben Foster, Elliot Page, Cameron Bright
Directed by: Bryan Singer, Brett Ratner
Based on: The Marvel comic books created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The superhero team first appeared in The X-Men #1 in 1963, later becoming famous for the long-running Uncanny X-Men series and numerous spin-offs.
Notes: I’m cheating again here by putting 3 films in one spot, but if I didn’t, there’d be 3 entries for X-Men in the list because I loved all three of these films. Yes, even the much maligned third one. I thought it was fun, didn’t get the adverse reaction it got.

Number 9

Title: Center Stage
Year: 2000
Plot: A group of dancers from various backgrounds enroll at the American Ballet Academy in New York to make it as ballet dancers and each one deals with the problems and stress of training and getting ahead in the world of dance.
Starring: Amanda Schull, Sascha Radetsky, Ethan Stiefel, Zoe Saldaña, Susan May Pratt, Peter Gallagher, Ilia Kulik, Donna Murphy, Eion Bailey
Directed by: Nicholas Hytner
Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen.
Notes: I love dance movies, even bad ones, simply cause I love the dancing. This one is about ballet, and they hired actual ballet dancers to star in the film. And surprisingly, the acting doesn’t suffer for it. The dance sequences are amazing, and all the characters are engaging. Simply wonderful.

Number 8

Title: Frailty
Year: 2001
Plot: A mysterious man arrives at the offices of an FBI agent and recounts his childhood: how his religious fanatic father received visions telling him to destroy people who were in fact “demons.”
Starring: Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Matt O’Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Powers Boothe, Luke Askew, Levi Kreis, Derk Cheetwood
Directed by: Bill Paxton
Based on: An original screenplay written by Brent Hanley, although he was heavily inspired by the real-life 70’s serial killer Joseph Kallinger. Kallinger was a religious fanatic who believed he was on a divine mission and forced his young son to help him kidnap and murder people.
Notes: This is such an underrated gem of a film. It’s so tense, so disturbing, and everyone turns in amazing performances. I highly recommend seeing this film if you haven’t already!

Number 7

Title: From Hell
Year: 2001
Plot: In 1888 London, a Scotland Yard investigator searches for Jack the Ripper, and a conspiracy begins to unfold.
Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Robbie Coltrane, Katrin Cartlidge, Susan Lynch, Ian Holm, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng, Terence Harvey, Lesley Sharp, Annabelle Apsion, Joanna Page
Directed by: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes
Based on: The historical-fiction graphic novel From Hell by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Both the movie and the book are based on a specific, largely discredited theory about the Ripper’s identity, which was popularized by Stephen Knight’s 1976 book, Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution.
Notes: I actually didn’t love this movie the first time I saw it, although I couldn’t tell you why. It has everything I love in a good serial killer film, plus Johnny Depp to boot. But I love it now, even if this particular theory about the Ripper is horseshit. Crazy conspiracy theories make good cinema, however.

Number 6

Title: The Haunting in Connecticut
Year: 2009
Plot: After a family is forced to relocate for their son’s health, they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home and uncover a sinister history.
Starring: Kyle Gallner, Virginia Madsen, Martin Donovan, Elias Koteas, Amanda Crew, Sophi Knight, Ty Wood
Directed by: Peter Cornwell
Based on: The book In a Dark Place: The Story of a True Haunting by Ray Garton and famous paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren. Supposedly based on a “true story”, and I put that in heavy quotations.
Notes: This is only a loose retelling of the Warrens’ book, it’s got a lot of stuff added to it, and the Warrens themselves aren’t even in this movie. But it’s such a great little film. It’s spooky, atmospheric, and very well acted. This is a definite horror gem of the 2000’s. Plus, Kyle Gallner. Meow.

Number 5

Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Year: 2003
Plot: An intrepid blacksmith teams up with an eccentric pirate captain to save his love from an undead pirate crew.
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Zoe Saldaña
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Based on: The classic Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney theme parks. The screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio took the theme park ride’s atmosphere, iconic animatronic scenes, and pirate lore, and built an original swashbuckling adventure around them.
Notes: When I heard they were making a movie based on a ride at a Disney theme park, I almost died laughing. “They’ve really hit rock bottom” I thought. But then I saw the film and I took it all back. It’s so much fun! Johnny Depp made one of the most iconic characters of the 21st century.

Number 4

Title: Constantine
Year: 2005
Plot: Detective Angela approaches Constantine, a demon hunter, to help her investigate her twin sister’s mysterious death. As he digs deeper, he realizes that demons are trying to enter the human world.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale, Djimon Hounsou, José Zúñiga, Peter Stormare
Directed by: Francis Lawrence
Based on: The Hellblazer graphic novels by Alan Moore, Steve Bissette, and John Totleben.
Notes: I saw the movie before reading any of the comics, so imagine my surprise when I saw how different the film actually was. While I did enjoy the books, it’s the movie that I actually revisit. It’s just so good, everyone giving great performances, Keanu’s stoic nature actually perfect for this character.

Number 3

Title: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Year: 2001, 2002, 2003
Plot: A meek Hobbit from the Shire and eight companions set out on a journey to destroy the powerful One Ring and save Middle-earth from the Dark Lord Sauron.
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Ian Holm, Andy Serkis (v.o.), Sean Bean, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, Bernard Hill, Brad Dourif, David Wenham, John Noble, Sala Baker
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Based on: The Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien
Notes: I’m not really cheating here, since this is one long story that was actually filmed all at the same time. But what can I say about this? It’s so very good, the New Zealand landscape looking the part of a magical, lush, beautiful world. Every single character from the mains to the extras are doing their absolute best, and you can really see their dedication. Just amazing.

Number 2

Title: The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Year: 2005
Plot: A lawyer takes on a negligent homicide case involving a priest who performed an exorcism on a young lady that resulted in her death.
Starring: Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Jennifer Carpenter, Campbell Scott, Colm Feore, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Joshua Close, JR Bourne, Mary Beth Hurt
Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Based on: The book The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel by Dr Felicitas Goodman. Also based on a “true story”.
Notes: This film is at times poignant, at times tense, and at times downright scary. Jennifer Carpenter gives a tour-de-force performance as the possessed girl.

Number 1

Title: The Ring
Year: 2002
Plot: A journalist must investigate a mysterious videotape which seems to cause the death of anyone seven days after they view it.
Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Rachael Bella, Amber Tamblyn, Daveigh Chase
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Based on: The book Ring written by Koji Suzuki. It is also a remake of the Japanese film Ringu.
Notes: Finally, my absolute favourite film of the decade, The Ring is tense, scary, with buckets of atmosphere. The actors all do a great job. As a side note, the original dvd had a copy of the video that the characters watch in its entirety that you literally could not stop. They made it so that you couldn’t press stop, couldn’t pause, and I almost had a heart attack. I know it’s just a movie, but I really didn’t want to see the full video, haha.

Honourable mentions:

Troy
Ginger Snaps
Donnie Darko
The Dark Knight
Saw
The Grudge
Stardust
Session 9
Inkheart
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Save the Last Dance
Juno

And that’s it! Are your favourites on the list? Let me know, and stay tuned for the next (and last) in this series, the 30 best of the 10’s. I’ve got a list started for the 20’s, but I won’t be doing it til 2030, so I’ve got some time to think about it, lol. Or maybe I’ll do 2020 – 2025, then 2026 – 2029 when the time comes. We’ll see.

I hope you enjoyed my list!

M.

My Top 30 Fantasy Films

Fantasy is my second-favourite film and book genre, not far behind horror. While anything that’s “not real” can be considered fantasy, I’ve kept this list down to the films that are “classic fantasy”, which is to say films that contain elements that people automatically think of when they think fantasy: magic, fairies, elves, witches and wizards, that sort of thing. So no horror, sci-fi, or anything else “fantastical” that’s not straight fantasy. There are a few that have some horror elements, but are very far from being horror films, so they’re allowed here. I also won’t be including films who’s only fantastical element is talking animals, otherwise we’d be here all day. If there are films on the list with talking animals, it’s because there are other fantasy elements as well. And finally, I haven’t included any animated Disney or Pixar films, they’ll have their own list.

The films will be in approximate order only. As I did with My Top 50 Horror Films, I will separate them into groups, then put those groups in order. They will be numbered from 5 to 1, with each number having 6 films that will be “tied”, if you will, for that place on the list.

So, without any further ado, here are my top 30 fantasy films. Enjoy! 🙂

 

NUMBERS 5

5 The Wizard of Oz

Title: The Wizard of Oz
Starring: Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger, Bert Lahr, Jack Haley, Billie Burke, Margaret Hamilton, Terry the Dog
Released in: 1939
Directed by: Victor Fleming
Written by: Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson, Edgar Allan Woolf
Based On: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L Frank Baum
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Despite the bright technicolour, this is actually a pretty dark story. One of the very few films to actually scare me as a child (Freddy Krueger, no problem! Wicked Witch of the West? Flee crying. *shrug*)
Fantastical Elements: Witches, wizards, fantastical creatures (man-lion, flying monkeys, etc), magic.
5 Second Synopsis: Dorothy Gale is swept away to a magical land in a tornado and embarks on a quest to see the Wizard who can help her return home.
Why I Love It: One of the very first fantasy films I saw as a kid, I didn’t love it as much as the others (which are mostly in my number 2s and 1s), but it’s nevertheless undeniable that this is a classic. That it’s still enjoyable today is a testament to how good it really was.

 

M8DWITC EC001

Title: The Witches
Starring: Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Rowan Atkinson, Bill Paterson, Brenda Blethyn, Charlie Potter, Jane Horrocks, Anne Lambton
Released in: 1990
Directed by: Nicolas Roeg
Written by: Allan Scott
Based On: The Witches by Roald Dahl
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Surprisingly dark. The book is even darker (and better).
Fantastical Elements: Witches, magic, transmogrification.
5 Second Synopsis: A young boy stumbles onto a witch convention and vows to stop them, even after he has been turned into a mouse.
Why I Love It: From the moment I could read properly, I loved Roald Dahl. Unfortunately, most of the films based on his work are turds. Not so this one. It’s bat-shit crazy, and I love it. No other reason needed.

 

5 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Title: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Starring: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson, Tony Curran, Shane West, Jason Flemyng, Richard Roxburgh, Naseeruddin Shah, Max Ryan
Released in: 2003
Directed by: Stephen Norrington
Written by: James Robinson
Based On: The comic books by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Immortality, vampirism, invisibility, transmogrification.
5 Second Synopsis: Renowned adventurer Allan Quatermain leads a team of extraordinary figures with legendary powers to battle the technological terror of a madman known as The Fantom.
Why I Love It: This film gets a lot of flack from critics and audiences alike, but I quite enjoyed. Yes, it has it’s problems, but really, what film doesn’t. It’s a fun watch, just grab your popcorn, and don’t think too hard!

 

5 Return to Oz

Title: Return to Oz
Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Walter Murch
Written by: Gill Dennis, Walter Murch
Based On: Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark. Kid’s film, my ass!
Fantastical Elements: Witches, wizards, fantastical creatures (wheelers, tin-man, man made of rocks, etc), magic.
5 Second Synopsis: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now :-p ), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.
Why I Love It: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, and I’ll probably get yelled at for thinking so, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.

 

5 FernGully

Title: FernGully: The Last Rainforest
Starring: Samantha Mathis, Jonathan Ward, Robin Williams, Tim Curry, Christian Slater, Grace Zabriskie, Geoffrey Blake, Robert Pastorelli, Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Tone Loc
Released in: 1992
Directed by: Bill Kroyer
Written by: Jim Cox
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Fairies, magic, fantastical creature (Hexxus)
5 Second Synopsis: When human Zak stumbles into the fairy world, he realizes that he needs to help them preserve their rainforest home before it’s all destroyed.
Why I Love It: Heavy-handed environmental message aside, this was another of my faves as a kid. It’s got nice animation, good voice acting, catchy songs, not to mention one of the scariest villains in a cartoon made for kids, voiced, of course, by Tim Curry.

 

5 Dungeons & Dragons

Title: Dungeons & Dragons
Starring: Justin Whalin, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Marlon Wayans, Bruce Payne, Thora Birch, Kristen Wilson, Robert Miano, Lee Arenberg, Richard O’Brien
Released in: 2000
Directed by: Courtney Solomon
Written by: Topper Lilien, Carroll Cartwright
Based On: The role-playing game created by TSR (Gary Gygax)
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark-ish
Fantastical Elements: Way too many to list all of them, but the basics are magic, dragons, elves, witches and wizards, and many other fantastical creatures, such as the Beholder.
5 Second Synopsis: Profion, a tyrant wizard, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress. A group of fighters, led by a cunning thief, try to stop him.
Why I Love It: This movie is awful. The effects are cartoony, the acting atrocious, and the D&D lore seriously messed up. And yet I loved it. I guess it falls into the so bad it’s good category for me.

 

NUMBERS 4

4 What Dreams May Come

Title: What Dreams May Come
Starring: Robin Williams, Annabella Sciorra, Max von Sydow, Jessica Brooks Grant, Josh Paddock, Rosalind Chao, Cuba Gooding Jr
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Vincent Ward
Written by: Ronald Bass
Based On: What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Afterlife, heaven, hell, reincarnation
5 Second Synopsis: After dying in a car crash, a man searches the afterlife for his wife, who committed suicide afterwards, her grief being too great.
Why I Love It: Such a beautiful story about love and loss, there’s no way not to love this film. All the acting is amazing, the depiction of heaven stunning. On the flip side, hell is terrifying, but unlike anything I’d ever seen before. The idea of people ending up in a hell of their own making is at once heart-breaking and frightening. If you somehow haven’t seen this film, I highly reccomend you go see it, right now!

 

4 The Secret of NIMH

Title: The Secret of NIMH
Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Arthur Malet, Peter Strauss, John Carradine, Paul Shenar, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, Jodi Hicks, Hermione Baddeley
Released in: 1982
Directed by: Don Bluth
Written by: Don Bluth, John Pomeroy, Gary Goldman, Will Finn
Based On: Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Surprisingly dark
Fantastical Elements: Super-intelligent rats and mice, magic, telekinesis through a jewel
5 Second Synopsis: A field mouse named Mrs Brisby must move her family to a safe location before the farmer plows the field where they live, but her son Timmy cannot go outside due to his pneumonia. She enlists the aid of some highly intelligent escaped lab rats that have built a subterranean society inside a rose bush near the farmer’s garden.
Why I Love It: Such a great story with beautiful animation. I never realized how creepy some parts of it were until I’d rewatched it as an adult. How on earth did that owl not give me nightmares?? hehe Definitely one of the very best non-Disney animated films.

 

4 The Ghost and Mrs Muir

Title: The Ghost and Mrs Muir
Starring: Gene Tierney, Rex Harrison, George Sanders, Edna Best, Vanessa Brown, Natalie Wood, Anna Lee
Released in: 1947
Directed by: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Written by: Philip Dunne
Based On: The Ghost and Mrs Muir by RA Dick (pseudonym of Josephine Leslie)
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Ghosts, afterlife
5 Second Synopsis: In 1900, a young, head-strong widow finds her seaside cottage is haunted, but rather than being scared off, she forms a unique relationship with the ghost.
Why I Love It: Old timey movies have to be really, really good for me to love them, and this one definitely is. Wonderfully charming and superbly acted, this unconventional love story was one of the first of the genre, and is still endlessly enjoyable, even today.

 

4 Shrek

Title: Shrek
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, Jim Cummings, Vincent Cassel, Christopher Knights, Conrad Vernon, Frank Welker
Released in: 2001
Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson
Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman, Roger SH Schulman
Based On: Shrek! by William Steig
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Transmogrification, dragons, curses, fantastical storybook characters (ogres, big bad wolf, gingerbread man, etc)
5 Second Synopsis: An evil Lord banishes all fairytale creatures into the swamp, which much angers the resident ogre, Shrek. In order to regain his swamp, he agrees to go rescue the princess that the Lord wants to wed. But something is very different about this princess, and Shrek finds himself falling for her, despite himself.
Why I Love It: Tongue firmly planted in cheek, this film is hilarious and touching at the same time. The characters go through a rather astounding transformation during the film, and I’m not only referring to the obvious. I guess everyone really does have layers. Like onions, of course, not cake 😉

 

4 Edward Scissorhands

Title: Edward Scissorhands
Starring: Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Anthony Michael Hall, Kathy Baker, Conchata Ferrell, Alan Arkin, Caroline Aaron, Vincent Price
Released in: 1990
Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Frankenstien-ish creature with scissors for hands
5 Second Synopsis: A kind inventor is almost finished piecing together his latest creation when fate prevents him from completing this most important project. Edward may seem dangerous, with scissors instead of hands, but when a compassionate Avon lady comes calling, she sees his pure heart, and decides to bring him home.
Why I Love It: One of Burton’s best, and his first collaboration with Johnny Depp (which should have ended with Sleepy Hollow, but maybe that’s just me). I didn’t like this film all that much the first time I saw it (I was only 9 when it came out), but once I got older, I was able to appreciate it’s quirky story, and now I love it. Classic Burton, right here.

 

4 Dragonheart

Title: DragonHeart
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery, Dina Meyer, David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson, Peter Hric
Released in: 1996
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Written by: Charles Edward Pogue
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Dragons, magic
5 Second Synopsis: A dragon slayer teams up with the last dragon to take down an evil king.
Why I Love It: A perfect blend of funny and tense, this is one of the very best dragon films ever made. And the CGI holds up surprisingly well, despite the film being almost 20 years old. David Thewlis was so perfectly evil in this film, that I found him disgusting until his brilliant turn as Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter films.

 

NUMBERS 3

3 Wizards

Title: Wizards
Starring: Bob Holt, Jesse Welles, Steve Gravers, Richard Romanus, David Proval, Jim Connell, Mark Hamill
Released in: 1977
Directed by: Ralph Bakshi
Written by: Ralph Bakshi
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, fairies, elves, mutated talking animals
5 Second Synopsis: In a post-apocalyptic future, a wizard and his fairy folk comrades fight his evil brother, who’s using technology in his bid for conquest.
Why I Love It: Definitely not for kids, this is one cartoon with a lot of bite. Tense, bloody, and violent, it’s one of the very best of the genre.

 

3 Pirates of the Caribbean

Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Zoe Saldana, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Damian O’Hare
Released in: 2003
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Based On: The Pirates of the Caribbean ride at DisneyLand
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, curses, undead
5 Second Synopsis: When his love is kidnapped by pirates, a young blacksmith teams up with perpetually drunk pirate Jack Sparrow in the attempt to get her back. Little do they realize that the evil pirates are undead, and need Elizabeth to break the curse.
Why I Love It: A fun ride (pun intended) from start to finish, this is undoubtedly the best film in the franchise. Johnny Depp is brilliant as Jack Sparrow, and the rest of the cast also shine, especially Geoffrey Rush as the evil Captain Barbossa. The perfect blend of action and thriller that’s more than a little funny, this is one of Depp’s best. It’s really too bad that he’s fallen into the rut of always playing this same kind of character over and over now.

 

3 Merlin

Title: Merlin
Starring: Sam Neill, Helena Bonham Carter, Miranda Richardson, Martin Short, Isabella Rossellini, Paul Curran, Lena Headey, Jeremy Sheffield, Jason Done, John Gielgud, Rutger Hauer, James Earl Jones
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Steve Barron
Written by: Peter Barnes, Edward Khmara, David Stevens
Based On: The legends of King Arthur and the wizard Merlin
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, elves, curses, spells, gnomes, fairy folk
5 Second Synopsis: The legendary wizard tells his story of his war against Queen Mab of the Sidhe, and his creation of Camelot.
Why I Love It: This has to be one of the very best made-for-TV movies ever. The actors they got to do it were all top notch, the writing was great, and even the effects, which are usually pretty pathetic for TV films, were quite good. And I never thought I’d say so, but Martin Short looked… hot!! hehe

 

3 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Title: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix
Released in: 1989
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Jeffrey Boam
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, the holy grail, magical booby traps, immortality
5 Second Synopsis: Indiana Jones acquires a diary that holds clues and a map to find the mysterious Holy Grail, which was sent from his father. Learning that his father went missing while searching, Indy hops a plane to Italy to save him.
Why I Love It: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s a fourth, I just don’t acknowledge it.)

 

3 Hook

Title: Hook
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins, Charlie Korsmo, Dante Basco, Amber Scott, Caroline Goodall, Maggie Smith
Released in: 1991
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: James V Hart, Malia Scotch Marmo
Based On: Peter Pan books and play by JM Barrie
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical world, fairies, power of imagination, flying, immortality, magic
5 Second Synopsis: When Captain Hook kidnaps his children, an adult Peter Pan must return to Neverland and reclaim his youthful spirit in order to challenge his old enemy.
Why I Love It: Saw this film when it first came out (I was 10), and I’ve loved it ever since. Robin Williams gives a great performance as the aged Peter Pan, while Dustin Hoffman eats up every inch of the screen when he’s on it as the (slightly insane) Captain Hook. A definite childhood favourite, a total gem of a film.

 

3 HellBoy

Title: HellBoy
Starring: Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Rupert Evans, Karel Roden, Jeffrey Tambor, Brian Steele, Bridget Hodson, Ladislav Beran
Released in: 2004
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Written by: Guillermo del Toro
Based On: Hellboy: Seed of Destruction by Mike Mignola
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, demons, immortality, humanoid creatures with special abilities, pyrokinesis, wizards, portals to hell
5 Second Synopsis: A demon, raised from infancy after being conjured by and rescued from the Nazis, grows up to become a defender against the forces of darkness.
Why I Love It: Such a fun film, it also has surprisingly good acting, and an awesome story. The effects are absolutely stunning as well, and Ron Perlman embodies HellBoy perfectly, head to toe. One of the first in the modern superhero/comic book films, and still one of the best.

 

NUMBERS 2

2 Willow

Title: Willow
Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro
Released in: 1988
Directed by: Ron Howard
Written by: Bob Dolman
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, fairy folk, witches, spells, curses
5 Second Synopsis: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
Why I Love It: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for it’s time, it still holds up very well today. Plus Val Kilmer is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was perhaps my very first adult crush. *swoon*

 

2 The Princess Bride

Title: The Princess Bride
Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane
Released in: 1987
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Written by: William Goldman
Based On: The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Magic, fantastical creatures (RoUS’s), miracles, fantastical machines
5 Second Synopsis: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young princess, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince.
Why I Love It: Pretty much every film in the rest of this list is a true classic, so I’ll stop saying it, hehe. This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alive. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

 

2 The Crow

Title: The Crow
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Anna Thomson, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Tony Todd, Jon Polito, Sofia Shinas
Released in: 1994
Directed by: Alex Proyas
Written by: David J Schow, John Shirley
Based On: The Crow graphic novel by James O’Barr
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Re-incarnation, invulnerability, superhero-like prowess
5 Second Synopsis: Musician Eric Draven is brought back to life by a crow a year after he and his fiancée are murdered. The crow guides him, and leads him to his killers, whom he kills in revenge.
Why I Love It: This film would likely be found in the action section of your video store rather than fantasy, but this definitely is indeed a fantasy film. Dark and violent, this is my very favourite revenge film, by far. But with this great film came a great loss, for actor Brandon Lee was accidentally killed while filming. What a shame.

 

2 Ladyhawke

Title: Ladyhawke
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Richard Donner
Written by: Edward Khmara, Michael Thomas, Tom Mankiewicz, David Webb Peoples
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, curses, transmogrification
5 Second Synopsis: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse.
Why I Love It: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.

 

2 Harry Potter

Title: Harry Potter Octology
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Robbie Coltrane, Maggie Smith, John Hurt, David Thewlis, Tom Felton, Bonnie Wright, Evanna Lynch, Gary Oldman, Jason Isaacs, Brendan Gleeson, Helena Bonham Carter, Julie Walters, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Matthew Lewis, Timothy Spall, Mark Williams, David Bradley, Imelda Staunton, Richard Griffiths, Fiona Shaw, Harry Melling, Clémence Poésy, Shirley Henderson, Natalia Tena, Emma Thompson, Warwick Davis, Richard Harris
Released in: 2001 – 2011
Directed by: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates
Written by: Steve Kloves, Michael Goldenberg
Based On: Harry Potter Septology by JK Rowling
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Magic, magic, and more magic! Plus fantastical creatures, flying broomsticks, curses, prophecies, transmogrification, and much more.
5 Second Synopsis: Young Harry Potter finds out he’s a wizard, and is sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he finds out that there is a very evil wizard who wants him dead.
Why I Love It: I’m cheating a little by putting all 8 films here, but it would have taken a huge chunk out of my Top 30, or I would have had to add 7 more slots, and I really didn’t feel like doing basically the same entry 8 times. So there. These films are fun, whimsical, and at the same time, tense and even frightening (dementors, anyone?). They did such a great job of translating these books into films. If you enjoy fantasy and haven’t seen these, I very highly reccomend you crawl out from under your rock and see them.

 

2 Dogma

Title: Dogma
Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, George Carlin, Bud Cort, Alanis Morissette
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Kevin Smith
Written by: Kevin Smith
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Angels, demons, God, heaven, hell
5 Second Synopsis: A woman with special ancestry is enlisted to prevent two angels from reentering Heaven and thus undoing the fabric of the universe.
Why I Love It: I’m not the hugest fan of comedies, not because I don’t like laughing, but because I have a slightly peculiar sense of humour, and a lot comedies are just dumb to me. This one, though, this is my very favourite comedy, the whole thing is perfect (save one scene), beginning to end. It had me literally rolling on the floor, laughing.

 

NUMBERS 1

1 The NeverEnding Story

Title: The NeverEnding Story
Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, The Horse (Googled my heart out to find his real name, but could find it, unfortunately 😦 )
Released in: 1984
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Written by: Wolfgang Petersen, Herman Weigel
Based On: Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical world, magic, wishes, fantastical machines
5 Second Synopsis: A troubled boy dives into a wonderous fantasy world through the pages of a mysterious book.
Why I Love It: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed him in age, about 8 years later.

 

1 The Dark Crystal

Title: The Dark Crystal
Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor
Released in: 1982
Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz
Written by: David Odell
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Both
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical world, magic, flight, fairy folk
5 Second Synopsis: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world.
Why I Love It: Another of my childhood favourites, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. Well, not my child. I’ve introduced him to Labyrinth, and he loved it. Up next, the rest of my number 1’s, starting with this one.

 

1 Rock & Rule

Title: Rock & Rule
Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Gregory Salata, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Catherine Gallant, Samantha Langevin, Catherine O’Hara
Released in: 1983
Directed by: Clive A Smith
Written by: Peter Sauder, John Halfpenny
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Fantastical creatures, fantastical technology, demons, mutants
5 Second Synopsis: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a female singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him.
Why I Love It: This little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.

 

1 Lord of the Rings

Title: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Starring: Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Cate Blanchett, Andy Serkis, Craig Parker, Bernard Hill, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Brad Dourif, Ian Holm, John Noble, Sala Baker
Released in: 2001, 2002, 2003
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson
Based On: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Magic, wizards, hobbits, elves, dwarves, visions, immortality, fantastical creatures, and more
5 Second Synopsis: A young hobbit must get to the gates of the enemy to destroy a ring that, if in the hands of the monster, would end the world as they know it.
Why I Love It: I don’t think there’s a geek on the planet that didn’t love this one. It was so beautifully done, acted, written and shot that it’s hard not to fall in love at first sight. It has the perfect blend of practical makeup and effects, and CGI, something that was sorely lacking in the Hobbit films.

 

1 Legend

Title: Legend
Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: William Hjortsberg
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Dark
Fantastical Elements: Demons, goblins, fairy folk, unicorns, magic, curses
5 Second Synopsis: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.
Why I Love It: Probably one of the very first fantasy films I’ve seen, and still one of the very best. It’s so beautifully done that it would be impressive even coming out today. Even all the acting is good, and that’s saying something for a film of the 80’s. So sad that they don’t make them like this anymore.

 

1 Labyrinth

Title: Labyrinth
Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud
Released in: 1986
Directed by: Jim Henson
Written by: Terry Jones
Based On: N/A
Light or Dark Fantasy?: Light
Fantastical Elements: Magic, goblins, fairy folk, fantastical creatures
5 Second Synopsis: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours.
Why I Love It: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. I’ll be sounding like a broken record, but they don’t make them like this any more. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time, hehe.

 

Finally done! It’s only been 2 months in the making… This is what happens when I get lazy. Shit just doesn’t get done, hehe. Here’s hoping at least a few people will enjoy the fruits of my labour! 😀

M.

Top 15 Onscreen Witches

Back in May, I posted my Top 15 Onscreen Vampires, and the response I got was good enough that I decided to continue the “series”, this time ranking witches. I’ve picked characters from all over film and tv, both male and female. For the purposes of this article, I’ve described a witch as “a human who is born with or learns magic”. I’ve included some characters who aren’t necessarily called witches (or wizards) but who have magic, and I’ve left out those characters who, despite having magic, are not now, nor have they ever been, humans, like faeries, elves, angels, demons, etc. I’ve also chosen one single character per “world”, otherwise this list would end up being a mile long.

The witches aren’t in any order except alphabetical, and, as usual, spoiler alert!! And off we go! 🙂

 

Amanda Shelton, Simply Irresistible

Amanda

“I think I’ve loved you since that first day in the market.”
“You mean the day I had my hand up your pants? Men are so easy.”

Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Born in: New York City, date unknown but the movie takes place in modern times.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: With the help of a magical crab (yup, you read that right), Amanda becomes an extraordinary chef whose emotions go into her food, causing anything from laughter to tears to even floating on the ceiling.
Weaknesses: None but her own self-confidence (or lack thereof, rather).
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Bathsheba Sherman, The Conjuring

Bathsheeba

“She ran out to that tree by the dock, climbed up, proclaimed her love to Satan, cursed anyone who tried to take her land, and hung herself. Time of death was pronounced at 3:07 in the morning.”

Played by: Joseph Bishara
Born in: Rhode Island, 1812
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Telekinesis and possession of others
Weaknesses: Holy objects, exorcism and love.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Exorcised out of Carolyn by Ed.

 

Bavmorda, Willow

Bavmorda

“Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one… little… child?”

Played by: Jean Marsh
Born in: Nockmaar, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary (Jean Marsh is a handsome woman, but her character doesn’t stay attractive for very long).
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: All kinds of dark magic, from curses to transmogrification.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, white magic and lightning
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Willow tricks her into thinking he’s made little Elora disappear, and when she rushes towards him she knocks over all the components of her spell and is struck by lightning at the same time, sending her to the Netherworld she was planning on sending Elora to.

 

Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings trilogy / The Hobbit trilogy

Gandalf

“Never put it on, for then the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found.”

Played by: Ian McKellan
Born in: I’m sure it’s mentioned somewhere when and where Gandalf was born, but in the interest of saving time, let’s just say he was born in Middle Earth, and leave it at that :-p
Scary or sexy: Neither, actually, but Sir Ian does cut a proud figure.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Ability to conjure and control fire, control over water, spells and blessings, causing explosive blasts, conjure lightning, foresight abilities, some telepathic power, and the ability to communicate with animals.
Weaknesses: Trust in the wrong people, the Ring
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Hermione Granger (and pretty much everyone else in the series), Harry Potter octology
(*can I patent that word? I likes it! hehe)

Hermione

“No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good sign.”

Played by: Emma Watson
Born in: England, 1979
Scary or sexy: Sexy (once she came of age, naturally :-p )
Good or evil: Good
Powers: She can do almost anything by flicking her wand, brewing a potion, or hopping on a broomstick.
Weaknesses: Endless curiosity that could get her into trouble, habit of being a know-it-all, Ron Weasley.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

Horned King

“Soon the Black Cauldron will be mine. Its evil power will course through my veins, and I shall make you Cauldron-born! Yes, yes. Oh, yes! Then you will worship me! Me! Oh, my soldiers. How long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men.”

Played by: John Hurt
Born in: Prydain, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Necromancy, all manners of dark magic
Weaknesses: Love and sacrifice, the Black Cauldron
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: When Gurgi sacrificed himself by jumping into the Cauldron, all of the Cauldron-born are sucked back into it, dragging the Horned King in with them.

 

Jareth, Labyrinth

Jareth

“I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave!”

Played by: David Bowie
Born in: Unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil(ish)
Powers: Shape-shifting, slowing and speeding up time, master of illusions, some clairvoyance through his crystals, the ability to conjure things from nothing.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, Sarah
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Lamia, Stardust

Lamia

“You shall not see the star, touch it, smell or hear it. You will not perceive her even if she stands before you. Pray you never meet me again.”

Played by: Michelle Pfeiffer
Born in: Kingdom of Stormhold, date unknown but she and her sisters are described as ‘centuries old’.
Scary or sexy: Both
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Pretty much anything, from transfiguration to conjuration and the animation of dead bodies.
Weaknesses: Love
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: With Tristan in her arms, Yvaine lets her love for him shine, and her pure light disintegrates Lamia.

 

Melisandre, Game of Thrones

Melisandre

“Death is coming for everyone and everything. A darkness that will swallow the dawn.”

Played by: Carice van Houten
Born in: Asshai, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: I think the character was meant to be more ambiguous than straight good or evil, but mo matter what good comes from helping Stannis is deeply over-shadowed by the horrible things she does. In her case, the ends don’t justify the means, and burning folks alive is just plain evil.
Powers: Clairvoyance, dark magic, giving “birth” to shadow demons, immunity to (at least some) poisons.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, religious fanaticism
Alive at the end?: As of where I am in the show (end of season 3), yes. I’ve read all the books, but I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read yet, or who are waiting after the show.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Merlin, various films and tv shows

Merlin

“I’m gone, but then, I’m not gone. So if I do leave, you can never be sure that I am gone, can you?”

Played by: Various actors, including Karl Swenson, Sam Neill, Joseph Fiennes, and Colin Morgan
Born in: England, date unknown
Scary or sexy: He’s not scary, but usually he’s portrayed as an old man, so he’s not really sexy either.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Various or none, depending which movie or show you’re watching, but they can range from everything from transforming himself into animals, to casting illusions, and much more.
Weaknesses: Again depends on the film, but he’s often shown as having had trusted the wrong people, and is betrayed.
Alive at the end?: In everything I’ve seen him in, yes.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Winifred Sanderson (and her sisters), Hocus Pocus

Sanderson sisters

“My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow’s Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin will summon us from under the ground. We shall be back, and the lives of all the children of Salem will be mine!”

Played by: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy
Born in: Salem. They were executed in 1693, but it’s unclear how long they’d been alive before then. I’m assuming a lot.
Scary or sexy: Neither. They’re pretty funny-looking, actually.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark magic spells, including transforming children into animals, cursing hundreds of people at once, and sucking out the life-force of children to keep their youth.
Weaknesses: Hanging, fire, holy ground
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: While trying to suck out Max’s essence, the witches accidentally end up on hallowed ground, and the first rays of dawn’s light disintegrates them.

 

Sally and Gillian Owens, Practical Magic

Sally & Gillian

“Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch! Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch!”
“You’d think after three hundred years they’d come up with a better rhyme!”

Played by: Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman
Born in: The States (not sure which one), exact date unknown, but I imagine it was some time in the 70’s.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Love spells, healing spells, some clairvoyance, and many other spells.
Weaknesses: A long standing family curse that any man who loves an Owens woman will die young.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

Ursula

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I can’t stand it! It’s too easy! The child is in love with a human! And not just any human. A prince! [laughs] Her daddy’ll love that. King Triton’s headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden.

Played by: Pat Carroll
Born in: Atlantica, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark spells, the ability to turn merfolk (including herself) into humans (or better looking merfolk), able to see whatever her familiars see, no matter the distance.
Weaknesses: None save arrogance, and, I guess, being impaled :-p
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After growing to an enormous size, Eric is able to steer the ship right towards her, and the broken mast goes right through her breast as she’s struck by lightning. She wraps her huge tentacles around the broken ship, and sinks to the ocean floor, dead.

 

The Warlock, Warlock and Warlock: The Armageddon

Warlock

“Of all the curiosities here I’ve seen, none have surprised me more than this.”

Played by: Julian Sands
Born in: Boston, year unknown (he was slated to be executed in 1691 when he escaped to the present time, but it’s unknown how old her really is).
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Dark curses, flight, jumping through time, and more.
Weaknesses: Nails pounded into his foot prints, salt
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Kassandra injects him full of salt water, and he bursts into flames. He is reborn in the sequel, but is vanquished again, this time being stabbed by a knife made from the same material as the Holy Grail.

 

Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow

“I’ll give Xander a call. What’s his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I’m-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.”
“Meow!”
“Really? Thanks! I’ve never gotten a ‘meow’ before.”

Played by: Alyson Hannigan
Born in: Sunnydale California, 1981
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good (except for a handful of episodes in season 6)
Powers: Pretty much everything one can think of.
Weaknesses: Addiction to the magics, fear of going bad again, Tara
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

And here, a few honourable mentions:

The Grand High Witch (The Witches)
Sarah and Nancy (The Craft)
Mombi (Return to Oz)
Lady van Tassell (Sleepy Hollow)
Aleesa (Silent Hill)
Claudia Hoffman (Snow White: A Tale of Terror)
Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove)

And that’s my witchy list!! Which witch is your favourite? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.