Jack’s Back (1988) James Spader, Cynthia Gibb, Jim Haynie, Robert Picardo, Rod Loomis, Rex Ryon, Chris Mulkey, Wendell Wright, John Wesley Directed by: Rowdy Herrington
I remember seeing this in the video store back in the day, and I was always interested in seeing it. I had a massive crush on James Spader, and it was a Jack the Ripper adjacent film, so I’m really surprised I never actually picked it up. Well, I’ve finally rectified that.
A serial killer in Los Angeles celebrates Jack the Ripper’s 100th birthday by committing similar murders.
I’ve been staring blankly at the screen for a few minutes now, trying to decide if I’m going to include spoilers for the film because there is a rather significant twist about 20 minutes in that I’d hate to spoil for anyone who hasn’t seen the film and wants to. Ok, I’ll try do this with no spoilers.
First and foremost, James Spader, besides being an absolute hunnie, has charisma in spades (I didn’t do that on purpose, I swear!) and does a great job with the material. Cynthia Gibb as a potential love interest is also adorable, even in her giant glasses. The story is twisty-turney but never nonsensical, which can happen in these sorts of films. Seriously, every time I thought I had it all figured out, something else happened. The film seems more interested in the characters rather than the story at times, and in so doing makes us really care about them and what happens to them. The score is nice and moody, as it should be for this type of picture. The only real criticism I have of the film is that the whole thing lacks any sort of motivation. I’m sure they thought having a serial killer “celebrate” the Whitechapel murders would make for a good movie, but seemed to forget to add a why. Why did this person decide to do this? But that’s all the bad I have to say about it. It’s good otherwise. But I really am having trouble finding things to say without spoilers, so let’s make this a “real” 5 second review and end it here.
So, do I recommend it? Sure, if you don’t mind 80’s films. The 80’s literally threw up all over this movie, lol. As for me, I give this a pretty good 7.5/10.
M.
This movie is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, Plex, and Tubi. Enjoy!
Vampires are my favourite subgenre of horror. I have seen so many and have at least liked almost all of them (a vampire movie has to be really bad for me to hate it). There are still a lot that I haven’t seen though. I haven’t seen any of the Hammer vampire movies, nor the French erotic ones. There’s also a few notable ones that by all accounts I really should have seen by now. Only Lovers Left Alive, Byzantium, Sinners, Thirst (2009), The Invitation, and Doctor Sleep have all been on my watch-list for what feels like forever and I just never got around to them. So who knows, maybe this list will change once I’ve seen those. But for now, here are my top 25 favourite vampire movies!
Number 25
Title:Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat Year: 1989 Plot: Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences. Starring: David Carradine, Bruce Campbell, Morgan Brittany, Jim Metzler, Deborah Foreman, Maxwell Caulfield, M Emmet Walsh, Dana Ashbrook Directed by: Anthony Hickox Based on: An original screenplay written by Anthony Hickox and John Burgess. Notes: I generally don’t like comedies (not cause I don’t like to laugh, I’m just real picky), but this one is completely charming.
Number 24
Title: Twilight series Year: 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 Plot: Human Bella falls in love with vampire Edward while her best friend, the werewolf Jacob, is in love with her. Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Michael Sheen, Jamie Campbell Bower, Rachelle Lefevre, Bryce Dallas Howard, Cam Gigandet, Lee Pace, Anna Kendrick, Michael Welch, Casey LaBow, Dakota Fanning Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade, Bill Condon Based on: The Twilight series of books by Stephanie Meyer (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn). Notes: I know, I know. But you know, Meyer tried something different. Some of it landed, some of it didn’t, but I respect what she tried to do. I enjoyed these films for what they were, light, popcorn fluff.
Number 23
Title:Salem’s Lot Year: 2004 Plot: Writer Ben Mears returns to his childhood home of Jerusalem’s Lot and discovers that it is being terrorized by vampires. Starring: Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Robert Mammone, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Andy Anderson Directed by: Mikael Salomon Based on: The book Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. Notes: The book is so very good that it got made into 3 movies, 1979, 2004, and 2024. Only this one was any good. And not only because Rob Lowe is a cutie.
Number 22
Title:Priest Year: 2011 Plot: A warrior priest disobeys church law to track down a pack of vampires who have kidnapped his niece. Starring: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Karl Urban, Lily Collins, Brad Dourif, Stephen Moyer, Christopher Plummer, Alan Dale, Mädchen Amick Directed by: Scott Stewart Based on: The Korean comic series Priest, created by Hyung Min-woo. The book, in turn, was heavily inspired by the video game Blood by Monolith Productions. Notes: I honestly don’t remember much about this film except the fact that I loved it and that Karl Urban as a vampire is almost too sexy. That alone should give it its spot on the list.
Number 21
Title:Innocent Blood Year: 1992 Plot: Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she teams up (and falls in love) with the cop trying to put him away. Starring: Anne Parillaud, Anthony LaPaglia, Robert Loggia, David Proval, Rocco Sisto, Chazz Palminteri, Tony Sirico, Kim Coates, Angela Bassett, Luis Guzmán, Don Rickles Directed by: John Landis Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael Wolk. Notes: I generally don’t like mob movies, but add a vampire in and I guess that’s all it takes to win me over. This one is funny, sexy, and bloody all at once and I’m here for it.
Number 20
Title:Dracula Year: 1979 Plot: In 1913, the charming, seductive and sinister vampire Count Dracula travels to England in search of an immortal bride. Starring: Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier, Kate Nelligan, Donald Pleasence, Trevor Eve, Jan Francis, Janine Duvitski, Tony Haygarth, Sylvester McCoy Directed by: John Badham Based on: The book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: This was the first introduction I had to Dracula way back when I was a little one. I haven’t watched it in literal decades, so the details are fuzzy, but I used to watch it over and over so that cements its place in the list.
Number 19
Title:Buffy the Vampire Slayer Year: 1992 Plot: Ditzy teenager Buffy discovers she’s part of a long line of vampire slayers and with the help of her new mentor, the Watcher Merrick, she takes on a master vampire, Lothos, and his minions. Starring: Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Luke Perry, Rutger Hauer, Paul Reubens, Michele Abrams, Hilary Swank, David Arquette, Paris Vaughan, Candy Clark Directed by: Fran Rubel Kuzui Based on: An original screenplay written by Joss Whedon. Notes: This movie is nowhere near as good as the tv show that followed it, but it set the stage nicely. It’s hilariously campy and great fun. Paul Reubins is absolutely hilarious.
Number 18
Title: John Carpenter’s Vampires Year: 1998 Plot: Recovering from an ambush that killed his entire team, a vengeful vampire slayer must retrieve an ancient Catholic relic that, should it be acquired by vampires, will allow them to walk in sunlight. Starring: James Woods, Daniel Baldwin, Sheryl Lee, Thomas Ian Griffith, Tim Guinee, Maximilian Schell, Mark Boone Junior, Gregory Sierra, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa Directed by: John Carpenter Based on: The book Vampire$ by John Steakley. Notes: I don’t get all the hate that this film gets. No, it’s not Shakespeare, but it’s not trying to be. It’s just a fun, action-packed vampire romp.
Number 17
Title: From Dusk Till Dawn Year: 1996 Plot: The Gecko brothers, two dangerous outlaws on a wild crime spree, kidnap a father and his two kids and head south to a seedy Mexican bar to hide out in safety. Soon they realize that they’re not in a typical bar, as the entire place begins to teem with vicious, blood-sucking vampires. Starring: George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Quentin Tarantino, Ernest Liu, Salma Hayek, Cheech Marin, Danny Trejo, Tom Savini, Fred Williamson, John Hawkes Directed by: Robert Rodriguez Based on: An original screenplay written by Quentin Tarantino. Notes: I was one of the lucky ones that did not know the vampiric twist of this film. I literally stood up and cheered when Salma Hayek vamps out. What follows is one long fight for survival and it’s so much fun. The makeups and practical effects are stellar.
Number 16
Title:The Last Man on Earth Year: 1964 Plot: When a disease turns all of humanity into the living dead, the last man on earth becomes a reluctant vampire hunter. But is he truly alone? Starring: Vincent Price, Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli, Giacomo Rossi Stuart, Umberto Raho Directed by: Ubaldo Ragona, Sidney Salkow Based on: The book I am Legend by Richard Matheson Notes: I don’t often like old timey movies, they really have to be something special. And this one is. Vincent Price is great as the weary vampire hunter (even if they act more like zombies, they are, in fact, vampires). Awesome movie with a gut-punch ending.
Number 15
Title:My Best Friend is a Vampire Year: 1987 Plot: After an intense sexual encounter with a beautiful woman, a teenage delivery boy finds himself turning into a vampire, while being pursued by a couple of clumsy vampire hunters. Starring: Robert Sean Leonard, Evan Mirand, Cheryl Pollak, Rene Auberjonois, David Warner, Paul Willson, LeeAnne Locken, Cecilia Peck, Fannie Flagg, Kenneth Kimmins Directed by: Jimmy Huston Based on: An original screenplay written by Tab Murphy. Notes: Another vampiric comedy, this time leaning in to the teenage angle. Robert Sean Leonard is cute as all hell in this and does a great job in the role of a teen turned vamp. A campy good time!
Number 14
Title: Underworld Year: 2003 Plot: Selene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons. Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, Shane Brolly, Bill Nighy, Sophia Myles, Erwin Leder, Kevin Grevioux, Wentworth Miller Directed by: Len Wiseman Based on: An original screenplay written by Len Wiseman, Danny McBride, and Kevin Grevioux. Notes: Definitely more style over substance, but I’ll be darned if I don’t just love this movie. The sequels are meh, but this one is great.
Number 13
Title:Queen of the Damned Year: 2002 Plot: The vampire Lestat wakes from his long sleep and becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires. Starring: Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez, Paul McGann, Lena Olin, Tiriel Mora, Matthew Newton Directed by: Michael Rymer Based on: The books The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice. Notes: Trying to squeeze these 2 books together to make one film was probably a bad idea, but I don’t care cause I love this movie, warts and all. I know it’s bad, but I can’t help it. The soundtrack is absolutely bitchin’.
Number 12
Title:Subspecies Year: 1991 Plot: Three students get caught in the struggle between a good vampire and his evil brother in the Transylvanian mountains. Starring: Anders Hove, Laura Mae Tate, Michael Watson, Irina Movila, Michelle McBride, Ivan J Rado Directed by: Ted Nicolaou Based on: An original screenplay written by Jack Canson and David Pabian, based on a story created by Charles Band. Notes: Ah, Full Moon. Their films can either be amazing, or they can be shite. This one happens to be amazing. I’m not a huge fan of the sequels, but this first one is great as a stand-alone film.
Number 11
Title:Abigail Year: 2024 Plot: After a group of criminals kidnap the ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, they retreat to an isolated mansion, unaware that they’re locked inside with no normal little girl. Starring: Melissa Barrera, Alisha Weir, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, Angus Cloud, William Catlett, Giancarlo Esposito, Matthew Goode Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett Based on: An original, contemporary reimagining of the classic 1936 Universal movie Dracula’s Daughter. That movie in turn is based on a short story called Dracula’s Guest by Bram Stoker, but this movie takes that core premise and puts a modern, original spin on it by framing the story as a kidnap-heist gone wrong. Notes: I was surprised by this movie. I was definitely not expecting it to be so high up in my list, but I really loved it. It’s funny, tense, and a bloody good time.
Number 10
Title:Stake Land Year: 2010 Plot: A vampire epidemic has swept across what is left of the nation’s abandoned towns and cities, and it’s up to Mister, a death dealing, rogue vampire hunter, to get Martin, his protegé, safely north to Canada, the continent’s New Eden. Starring: Connor Paolo, Nick Damici, Kelly McGillis, Danielle Harris, Gregory Jones, Traci Hovel Directed by: Jim Mickle Based on: An original screenplay written by Nick Damici and Jim Mickle. Notes: Dark and atmospheric, this is how I imagine a real outbreak of the undead would be. This movie goes surprisingly hard, and I love it.
Number 9
Title: The Last Voyage of the Demeter Year: 2023 Plot: Sailing from Bulgaria to England, the crew of the Demeter is under attack nightly by a monstrous foe. Starring: Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dastmalchian, Chris Walley, Jon Jon Briones, Stefan Kapicic, Woody Norman, Nikolai Nikolaeff, Martin Furulund, Javier Botet Directed by: André Øvredal Based on: The chapter The Captain’s Log from the book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: I was skeptical that they could make a movie out of a single chapter of a book, but they really did a great job. The movie could have been boring, taking place all on one boat, but instead it just makes it claustrophobic and inescapable. My only gripe is the over use of cgi, but other than that it’s simply wonderful.
Number 8
Title:Dracula 2000 Year: 2000 Plot: A crew of thieves accidentally unleash Count Dracula upon modern-day New Orleans. Van Helsing tries to recapture the vampire while protecting his daughter, Mary, from Dracula’s dark quest to claim her as his eternal bride. Starring: Gerard Butler, Justine Waddell, Jonny Lee Miller, Christopher Plummer, Colleen Ann Fitzpatrick, Jennifer Esposito, Omar Epps, Sean Patrick Thomas, Danny Masterson, Jeri Ryan, Nathan Fillion Directed by: Patrick Lussier Based on: Characters created by Bram Stoker from his book Dracula. Notes: This film was not very well received when it came out. It only has a 4.9 on IMDb, but I don’t get it. It’s fun and sexy and just great, popcorn fun.
Number 7
Title:Dracula Untold Year: 2014 Plot: As his kingdom is being threatened by the Turks, young prince Vlad Tepes must become a monster feared by his own people in order to obtain the power needed to protect his family, and the families of his kingdom. Starring: Luke Evans, Dominic Cooper, Sarah Gadon, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance, Diarmaid Murtagh, Paul Kaye, William Houston, Noah Huntley Directed by: Gary Shore Based on: A character from the book Dracula by Bram Stoker (origin story). Notes: Absolutely wonderful. They did a great job with the origin story of Dracula as Vlad the Impaler. I very much doubt he was as loving and kind as he was portrayed in the film, but that’s besides the point. My only gripe with the film is Dominic Cooper, who’s quite white, as a Turk. Other than that, it’s almost perfect.
Number 6
Title:Near Dark Year: 1987 Plot: A mid-western farm boy reluctantly becomes a member of the undead when a girl he meets turns out to be part of a band of southern vampires who roam the highways in stolen cars. Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, Joshua John Miller, Tim Thomerson Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow Based on: An original screenplay written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red. Notes: This film had the unfortunate timing of coming out at the same time as The Lost Boys and was unfortunately criminally overlooked. It’s dark, romantic, and bloody, just the way I like them!
Number 5
Title:Interview with the Vampire Year: 1994 Plot: Against the backdrop of a gloomy San Francisco, the nearly two-century-old vampire, Louis de Pointe du Lac, recounts the unbelievable story of his eternal transformation and a life worse than death to the sceptic reporter, Daniel Molloy. Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Kirsten Dunst, Stephen Rea, Indra Ové, Thandie Newton Directed by: Neil Jordan Based on: The book Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. Notes: Sumptuous and lush, this film is absolutely wonderful. I saw it when it came out, I was 13, and I must have watched it at least 50 times since then.
Number 4
Title:Nosferatu Year: 2024 Plot: A gothic tale of obsession between a haunted young woman and the terrifying vampire infatuated with her, causing untold horror in its wake. Starring: Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Emma Corrin, Ralph Ineson, Simon McBurney Directed by: Robert Eggers Based on: The 1922 movie Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens, which in turn was an unauthorized adaptation from the book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: I wasn’t expecting to love this one as much as I do because I’m not a huge fan of Eggers’ work. But this film is stunning. The actors all do an amazing job, the costumes are wonderful, and Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable under amazing makeup.
Number 3
Title: Fright Night Year: 1985 Plot: Teenager Charley Brewster, a diehard horror fan, discovers his charming new next-door neighbor, Jerry Dandridge, is a vampire responsible for a string of local murders. When nobody believes his claims, Charley enlists the help of Peter Vincent, a washed-up actor and television horror host, to hunt the monster down. Starring: William Ragsdale, Chris Sarandon, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding Directed by: Tom Holland Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Holland. Notes: This movie is just wonderful. Chris Sarandon made teenage me (and adult me, let’s be real) swoon as Jerry Dandridge. And the practical effects are absolutely amazing and creepy. A definite gem of the 80’s. The remake is worth a gander as well.
Number 2
Title: Bram Stoker’s Dracula Year: 1992 Plot: Centuries-old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker’s fiancée Mina Murray and wreak havoc in the foreign land. Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes, Billy Campbell, Tom Waits, Monica Bellucci Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola Based on: The book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Notes: The best version of Dracula, hands down. It’s so beautiful and romantic while still having some tense scenes. The visual and practical effects are amazing.
Number 1
Title:The Lost Boys Year: 1987 Plot: When a recently divorced mother and her two teenage boys move to a coastal town to stay with her father, it doesn’t take long for the brothers to realize the area is a haven for something much more sinister than party-going surfers. Starring: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Dianne Wiest, Kiefer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Jamison Newlander, Barnard Hughes, Edward Herrmann, Alex Winter, Billy Wirth, Brooke McCarter, Chance Michael Corbitt Directed by: Joel Schumacher Based on: An original screenplay by Janice Fischer and James Jeremias. Notes: As long with being my favourite vampire movie of all time, it might just be my favourite movie, full stop. I was 6 when this came out, and my mom bought it on vhs. She hid it, telling me it was too scary for me. By the time she caught me with it, I’d already seen it about 20 times. This film began my lifelong love of horror movies, and more specifically, vampire movies.
And that’s it! I’d put some honourable mentions, but that list would probably be longer than this list. I hope you enjoyed! What are your favourites? Let me know!
Undertone (2025) Nina Kiri, Adam DiMarco (v.o.), Michèle Duquet, Keana Lyn Bastidas (v.o.), Jeff Yung (v.o.) Directed by: Ian Tuason
So, it’s no secret that I have nothing but disdain for A24. I find their movies boring and pretentious. But the premise for this one was so good that I couldn’t help myself. I made sure to stay away from the hype machine, and I tempered my expectations. And you know what? I was pleasantly surprised.
The host of an ‘all-things-creepy’ podcast moves into her dying mother’s house to be her primary caregiver. When her podcast is sent 10 audio recordings of a young pregnant couple experiencing paranormal noises, she realizes the woman’s story is a mirror of her own and each new recording scratches at her sanity, drawing her into a fate she seemingly cannot escape.
The story of the film is very simple, but it’s the execution where this film really succeeds. Since our main character Evy is the only actor you actually see on screen (besides her mother’s comatose form), they lean real heavily on the sound design, which was the whole gimmick of the film. The recordings become more and more creepy and strange things begin happening in her house. The camera work is slow, even in the tensest times, giving the whole thing a dream-like quality. The acting was quite good, both from our main character but also everyone we hear but don’t see. The fact that we don’t see anyone else besides Evy’s mother really drives home her sense of isolation and loneliness and the almost despair she feels at not having anyone help her care for her mother.
Now for the big question: is it scary? It was marketed as “the most terrifying film ever heard”, and I think they did a pretty good job at living up to that. It’s a mostly quiet film that has you straining your ears to see if you can hear something weird in the recordings, they don’t necessarily tell you everything that you should be hearing. There’re also moments of tremendous silence which were almost as creepy. The feeling of dread is heavy almost from the first frame and doesn’t let up for the whole film. There’re parts of the film where the screen is just black and you’re just listening and it actually freaked me out so much that I had to turn on a small lamp (I’m afraid of total darkness), and I can’t remember the last time a film did that to me. So yes, at least for me, it was scary.
So, do I recommend it? I do, as long as you don’t mind quiet, slow films. Action packed this is not. I give it a very good 8/10.
M.
This film isn’t streaming anywhere yet but is available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.
The Shrouds (2024) Vincent Cassel, Diane Kruger, Guy Pearce, Sandrine Holt, Elizabeth Saunders, Jennifer Dale, Jeff Yung Directed by: David Cronenberg
This was a weird one, you guys. And not at all what I thought it was going to be. By the description given on Crave and IMDb, I thought this was going to be a nice haunting, ghosty story. I was very wrong. Also, I just had foot surgery and in a really unfair amount of pain, so I’ll try to be coherent as I write this, but it’s a little hard to focus, so forgive me.
Karsh, an innovative businessman and grieving widower, builds a device to connect with the dead inside a burial shroud. (See, doesn’t that sound supernatural??)
So this is a joined Canada/France production by David Cronenberg (who is Canadian). That should have at least prepared me for what was to come. I was very unprepared. French films are already super weird, but to add Cronenberg to the equation just upped the weird factor. So the story is actually about a man who invents a special kind of burial shroud that hooks to a screen in the grave marker that allows the mourners to actually see the body in the grave as it’s decaying. Why anyone would want that is beyond me, but apparently it comforts our main character. So while looking at his deceased wife’s skull one day, he notices what looks like tiny growths in her bones. Then comes the journey of trying to figure out what they are and where they came from.
Being a Cronenberg film I expected body horror, and while there’s less than one might expect from this director, the stuff that is there is pretty disturbing. I’m also actually surprised that he found an actress who would still do full nudity these days (and one of the most hardcore sex scenes I’ve seen in a film in a long time!). But that just added to the whole surrealness of the images. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure a good amount of the effects were cgi and not practical which is what Cronenberg is kinda known for. It’s kind of a shame.
The acting was pretty good across the board. And it was filmed very well, but I expected that. Where the film suffered is in it’s telling of this story. It was so twisty-turny that it was hard to follow sometimes. I can’t really say anything more about the film without spoiling it, and I do feel this film needs to be experienced at least once. I mean, what’s a little incoherence amongst friends? It’s odd and slightly off-putting, but it’s not without its charm. The ending is pretty ambiguous, but I’m pretty sure I figured it out.
So, do I recommend it? Yes, with the caveat that you have to like weird films. Having seen a few French films already will help you get ready for this one, hehe. As for me, I give it a pretty good 7/10.
M.
This film is currently streaming on Crave, and is available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.
Night Patrol (2025) RJ Cyler, Justin Long, Jermaine Fowler, Freddie Gibbs, Nicki Micheaux, YG, Flying Lotus, Phil Brooks, Nick Gillie, Dermot Mulroney
Ok, so.. I.. wow. And not a good wow. A “why did I actually sit through that whole piece of shit” kinda wow. Oh my gods…
An LAPD cop discovers a local task force is hiding a secret that puts the residents of his childhood neighborhood in danger.
Usually, I try and find at least one good thing to say about a film before I trash it. Maybe there’s good makeups, some decent acting, some little interesting thing that might save it. And ok, it had an interesting premise (otherwise I just wouldn’t have started the film at all), but it does literally nothing with it. So I might as well get into it.
So. First, the language. I have no idea what it’s like to be in a gang. I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to be black. But if I had a dollar for every time the N word was used, I’d be a rich lady. It was so over-used. And black stereotypes? All there.
The basic premise is there’s a special task force of the LAPD that are known as the “Night Patrol”, and they’re supposedly on gang watch. What it really is, is a bunch of neo-nazi vampires who just kill black people who live in the projects indiscriminately. Ok, so we have the evil LAPD officers against the “trash” that lives in the projects. Got it. OMG how did they convince black actors to star in this?? If I were black, I’d have taken one look at that script and told them to go fuck themselves. It makes me question what kind of people the white actors who were in this are. Yes, it’s that bad.
SPOILER WARNING (in case anyone wants to watch this turd)
So, our hero is a gangbanger named Wazi. His brother Xavier is an LAPD officer who wants to get into the Night Patrol, but we know he never will cause he’s black. Wazi’s girlfriend is killed by an initiate of the Night Patrol, an officer named Hawkins, who’s partner is Xavier. It’s being drilled into our heads that Hawkins is a good guy, even though he’s done some truly awful stuff (besides killing Wazi’s girlfriend, he’s also responsible for some war crimes that got swept under the rug). He eventually confides in his partner that he’s going into the Night Patrol cause he believes that they killed his father. But lo and behold, when he’s finally initiated into the Night Patrol, he finds his father leads them. The vampires then go after the people that live in the projects, put them in cages, newly turned Hawkins kills Xavier, then tries to resist, but he JUST CAN’T you guys! Did I mention that the only thing that stopped them was some Zulu mysticism? Oh yeah, that’s in there. So Wazi manages to kill Hawkins, then gets thrown in a room with the vampires, manages to kill Hawkins senior, throws himself into the pile of vampires surrounding him and we fade to black. Did you get all that? God, it was bad.
Now for the more technical stuff, I guess. The acting was bad. Really bad. Justin Long and Dermot Mulroney, who I both usually like, were AWFUL. Everyone was overacting. And not in a fun, “chewing the scenery” kinda way. The dialog was forced and just plain stupid. People just don’t talk like that. There weren’t extensive makeups, but everything that could have been done by makeup was done with cgi. Cgi bullet wounds (I miss squibs), cgi fire, cgi blood spurts, everything. The camerawork was all over the place, it was almost nauseating sometimes.
So do I recommend it? Good god, no. Absolutely not. Nope. Nope from space. This gets a 1/10 from me. What a waste of time.
M.
This movie is streaming on Shudder and AMC+ should you feel the need to watch the trainwreck for yourselves. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Having been born in ’81, I grew up with 80’s music playing in my house all the time. We even had vinyls of our favourite bands. There are so many bangers to have come out of this decade that I had a real hard time deciding on just 20. I put them in order, but really, a good few of these can be inter-changable depending on my mood. I may look at this list next month and say “what was I thinking??”, but this is how I feel right now. I won’t be adding songs that were written for movies, so no Disney songs or anything like that.
20 – I Walk the Line by Alien Sex Fiend
I’m sure there aren’t a lot of people that would add this one in their top 20, and it almost didn’t make mine, but I just really like this song, hehe.
19 – The Passion of Lovers by Bauhaus
So many great ones by Bauhaus, but I had to go with this one. I just love Peter Murphy’s voice!
18 – Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
Oh my lord, did I have a crush on Corey Hart when I was a wee one. I wanted to marry him when I was 5 years old, hehe. It’s no wonder I fell in love with Jensen Ackles when Supernatural came out, they really do look similar!
17 – Love Like Blood by Killing Joke
I can’t honestly say I know a whole lot of Killing Joke’s music, cause I just never looked into it, but if it’s anywhere near as good as this song is, I’m really missing out!!
16 – Lovesong by The Cure
I love a lot of The Cure’s music, but this has to be the best one to come out of the 80’s. Incidentally, it was my “first dance” at my wedding!
15 – Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
There have been many, many covers of this song (my favourite among them being the one by HIM), but the OG remains the best. And how sexy is this video??
14 – True Faith by New Order
New Order is one of only 2 artists (the other being Bowie) that has 2 songs on the list, simply because I couldn’t leave either of them out. I don’t think I’d ever actually seen this video before now. The 80’s were weird, man!
13 – Thriller by Michael Jackson
I don’t think anyone is surprised to see this on my list. Not only is it a great song, but the video is simply epic. Michael always went all out on his videos, but this one takes the cake. Still has some of the best makeups to ever hit the screen. Thanks Rick Baker. Plus, bonus Vincent Price!
12 – Never Let Me Down Again by Depeche Mode
So many great songs by Depeche Mode, but this is the best one to come out of the 80’s.
11 – How Soon is Now? by The Smiths
And now for a little depression brought to you by The Smiths. Morrisey’s voice is like butter (and boy does he ever know it, what a douche… lol).
10 – Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds
The Breakfast Club is one of my favourite films to come from the 80’s (which I criminally forgot to add to my “Top 30 Films of the 80’s”), and this banger was the perfect end to the movie. I had a massive crush on Judd Nelson in this. But the video… does he know his suit is 3 times too big..?
9 – Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order
Boy, do I love synth-pop when it’s done right. And this one is near perfect! Sometimes I wish I were older so I could have experienced going out in the 80’s.
8 – Lucretia My Reflection by Sisters of Mercy
Probably the best goth song ever written. I love a lot of Sisters’ music, but this was the first one I heard, and remains my favourite.
7 – Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie
David Bowie probably has one of my favourite voices in the business. It’s a good thing that I decided to not put songs written specifically for movies, otherwise a good chunk of my list would be songs from Labyrinth (shout-out to Within You, though, that song always gets me). This song is my favourite of his outside of movie music.
6 – Still Loving You by The Scorpions
One of my all-time favourite love songs. It’s literally the only song I know by The Scorpions (I think), but his voice is just wonderful. This song is poignant, so full of longing, it hits me in the feels. Funny side note, did you know they are a German band and barely spoke english at the time? I don’t know if they’ve learned since then, but really, you could have fooled me.
5 – I Ran (So Far Away) by A Flock of Seagulls
Sometimes you listen to these one hit wonders and the song is so bloody good that it literally makes you angry that there aren’t more albums. This is one of those songs. And the singer’s kinda cute, in a weird way. That hair, though…
4 – In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
And here, the best love song ever. May be cliché, but it’s popular for a reason. Hold up a boombox and play it for your girl. She’ll melt, I guarantee it!
3 – Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
I’m not a huge Queen fan, but I can’t deny the man had some crazy pipes. This song with Bowie is a perfect mix of each other’s styles. Not only one of my favourite 80’s songs, but one of my favourite songs, full stop. Bowie’s solo at the end of the song gives me chills every time.
2 – Take On Me by a-ha
Everything about this song is perfect; the music, the video, and the singer. Morten Harket has one of the most unique, beautiful faces in the business. And that voice! I love to sing along to this song, but I stop just before that part. You know the one.
1 – Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
And finally, we have the ultimate goth anthem. Such an amazing, poignant song, Ian Curtis’s voice giving it that extra gravitas over the almost joyful music. It’s such a shame, he was so tortured, and took his own life at 23, just a month before the album that would define a whole subculture would be released.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my list! I hope I was able to turn you on to some new music, or to revisit songs you haven’t heard in decades. What are your favourite 80’s songs? Let me know!
Until Dawn (2025) Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino, Odessa A’zion, Ji-young Yoo, Belmont Cameli, Maia Mitchell, Peter Stormare Directed by: David F Sandberg
I didn’t play the game much, but I did enjoy the vibe of it. I can’t really speak to how accurately the film follows the story of the game, but I had quite a good time with it.
One year after her sister Melanie mysteriously disappeared, Clover and her friends head into the remote valley where she vanished in search of answers. Exploring an abandoned visitor center, they find themselves stalked by a masked killer and horrifically murdered one by one…only to wake up and find themselves back at the beginning of the same evening. They soon realise that they must survive the entire night to get out of the time loop.
Reading reviews left on IMDb, I can see now that this was not a very faithful adaptation of the game. And I saw lots of people say they’d have liked it more had it not had the Until Dawn label on it and I can’t really say I understand that. You either liked the film or you didn’t. Warcraft wasn’t a frame-by-frame recreation of the Warcraft universe (Warcraft 1, 2, and 3, and World of Warcraft) and as an avid player of the game, I still adored that film. But I digress. How about I get to how I liked this film?
I actually quite liked it. No, it didn’t reinvent the wheel or anything, but I thought it was a solid film. The plot might be simple, but it was fun seeing the characters try to live through the same night over and over and, yes, even fun seeing them die. I’m not generally a huge fan of gore, but this one did it in a way that didn’t bother me. There were quite a few jumpscares but, really, this kind of film just calls for them. This isn’t a slow-burn, dread-filled affair, it’s a film about kids dying in a time loop. It knew exactly what it was and what it needed to do to be successful. The characters aren’t super deep, mostly cause we don’t really spend any time with them before the shit hits the fan. The actors did a fine job with what they were given.
Now for what is truly the centerpiece of the film: the makeup and gore effects. And those were stellar. The killers were suitably creepy, the visuals were amazing. The film really looked stunning, if blood and guts can be described as stunning. (Oh, and speaking of stunning, Odessa A’zion as Nina? fans self) There was great care taken to make sure things looked as good as possible with minimal use of cgi. I’ll take actors in masks and makeups over cgi monsters any day.
So do I recommend it? Sure, unless you’re crazy devoted to the game and won’t accept anything but a 100% recreation of the game. If that’s you, maybe skip this one. Me? I give it a solid 8/10. Fine popcorn fun!
M.
This film is currently streaming on Crave. You can also rent or buy on Amazon Prime or YouTube.
ps, my 5 Second Reviews are slowing becoming longer and longer. I may have to change the name of the series! hehe
Resurrection (1999) Christophe Lambert, Leland Orser, Peter MacNeill, Robert Joy, Rick Fox, Philip Williams, Barbara Tyson, Jonathan Whittaker, James Kidnie, David Cronenberg Directed by: Russell Mulcahy
Though it came out in ’99, this movie just recently came on my radar from a YouTuber that I like, in a video of “hidden gems of the 90’s”. And while I’m not sure it’s a gem, it was entertaining.
Chicago homicide detectives Prudhomme and Hollingsworth are assigned to investigate a murder. Both become entangled in the plot of a serial killer whose goal is to recreate the body of Christ.
The first thing I noticed about this film is that it desperately wants to be Seven. The detective with a gruff exterior, the pouring rain, the religious angle of the murders. Unfortunately, this movie is no Seven. That’s not to say it isn’t good, it’s just not quite that good.
The acting is all over the place, especially from Lambert, who’s usually very good. And for most of the film he was, just sometimes… I guess the emotion got away from him and he became melodramatic. The story was very good. Despite leaning heavily on the Seven angle, it had enough of its own stuff that it was still interesting enough to not feel like a total rip-off. The cinematography was mostly good except for two parts. One where a snap turn was used twice in a row for seemingly no reason, and once where the video went wobbly, as if to say the character is struggling to stay conscious, but that wasn’t happening. So I’m not sure what the director was trying to accomplish with these scenes, but it did nothing but make me slightly dizzy.
The characters were mostly good, if a little stereotypical. But I enjoyed the friendship of the two lead detectives, who, by all accounts, should not get along. The actor who played the killer (who I won’t name in case anyone was interested in seeing the film after reading my review) did a suitably creepy job, even if his plan was so convoluted and required a lot of people to fall down on the job. Also, finding those specific people with all these traits in common, exactly what he needed for his “ritual”, would probably be impossible, even in a city the size of Chicago. Speaking of Chicago, not a single Chicagoan accent was heard. Pity. Lambert’s accent was cute, though, as usual.
So, do I recommend it? Sure, if for nothing else than that pure 90’s nostalgic vibe. It’s not an amazing movie, but is still worth a watch. I give it a solid 7/10.
So, I’d been a WoW player (World of Warcraft) since the game came out in.. 2005, I think? I tried other mmo’s while I was playing but, without exception, I always came back to WoW. But last March I started getting that itch to play something else and went hunting on Steam. They were having sales on many games including one called Elder Scrolls Online. I’d heard of the world the game is in (I played Morrowind when I was younger, and knew people who played Skyrim), but I didn’t know they had an mmo. So both the base game and the previous 8 expansions were on sale, ridiculously low. The base game was like 6 bucks, and the expansions were 27. So I gave it a go, and never looked back.
ESO is just better in every way. I had to get used to the controls, though. It’s WASD to walk around, but you need to use the mouse to navigate. It took some getting used to, but once I had it, it’s super easy. The characters all look better, the character creation is wild, so many options. You can even change the size of your boobs and posterior for heaven’s sake! Everything took some getting used to, there was a learning curve, for sure (especially with crafting). And I’m sure I don’t even know everything yet. Even after over a year, I’m still not done all the story zones.
I created one of each class, there’s 7 of them: Sorcerer, Necromancer, Warden, Arcanist, Nightblade, Dragonknight, and Templar. My favourite is probably the Sorcerer, but honestly I like them all (Necromancer maybe a bit less). The gameplay for each class is quite different. So depending on what sort of gameplay I’m in the mood for will determine what I play. Today, for example, I was playing my Warden, which means I use a bow and have a big bear as a helper.
The character models are all cool, as I said, and there’s a lot of different races to choose from: Khajiit (which is a cat person), Dark Elf, Argonian (which is a lizard person), Orc, Wood Elf, High Elf, Redguard, Nord, and Breton. I have one of each except the Redguard and Nord. I’m playing a fantasy game. I don’t wanna be human. Here are my characters.
Left to right: Arytiss Miirik (Orc Dragonknight), Deadly Song (Wood Elf Necromancer), Dirise Miirik (Breton Dragonknight), Eirena Song (Dark Elf Warden)Left to right: Light’s Song (High Elf Templar), Llewmauryn (Khajiit Sorcerer), Lucy’Fur (Khajiit Templar), Nocna Sjena (Wood Elf Nightblade), Shadow’s Dream (Argonian Arcanist)
Ok, maybe just one human… And yes, I like red and black, hehe. Two of them are of the same classes, but that’s cause I already play them with my mom (yes, I got her to play too!) and wanted to try them alone.
So, do I recommend it? If you like mmo’s then yes, absolutely. I don’t even have a WoW subscription anymore. The new expansion came out, and I didn’t even contemplate going back. I obviously give it a 10/10.
Before I start, I have to right a horrible wrong in my 90’s list. I don’t know how, but there are 2 glaring omissions that would be in the list. 1995’s Copycat, starring Sigourney Weaver. And 1992’s Batman Returns, starring Michael Keaton. They would both be pretty high on the list, and I have no idea how I forgot them. There’s also one that would be in the honourable mentions, 1996’s Freeway, starring Reese Witherspoon. Seriously, my brain is a sieve sometimes. Ok, now that that’s out of the way, here we go.
By the 2000’s I had already started to watch less movies, so this list was a little easier to make. I still have a few honourable mentions, but not nearly as many as the 90’s list. So without any further ado, here are my top 30 films of the 2000’s.
Number 30
Title:Underworld Year: 2003 Plot: Selene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons. Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Shane Brolly, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Sophia Myles, Erwin Leder, Wentworth Miller, Kevin Grevioux Directed by: Len Wiseman Based on: An original screenplay written by Danny McBride. Notes: The 2000’s saw the beginning of the “slick horror” films, and this is a perfect example of that. It’s a goth’s wet dream, all latex and straps and beautiful people. It’s definitely a case of style over substance, but it’s still a fun popcorn movie.
Number 29
Title: The Count of Monte Cristo Year: 2002 Plot: A young man, falsely imprisoned by his jealous “friend”, escapes and uses a hidden treasure to exact his revenge. Starring: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Dagmara Dominczyk, Richard Harris, Luis Guzmán, Henry Cavill, James Frain, Patrick Godfrey, Michael Wincott Directed by: Kevin Reynolds Based on: The book Le Comte de Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Notes: What a wonderful retelling of an already wonderful book. Plus, tiny 17 year old Henry Cavill is almost too adorable for words.
Number 28
Title:Zodiac Year: 2007 Plot: Between 1968 and 1983, a San Francisco cartoonist becomes an amateur detective obsessed with tracking down the Zodiac Killer, an unidentified individual who terrorizes Northern California with a killing spree. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Brian Cox, John Carroll Lynch, Chloë Sevigny, Elias Koteas, Dermot Mulroney Directed by: David Fincher Based on: The non-fiction books Zodiac and Zodiac Unmasked by Robert Graysmith. Notes: David Fincher proves yet again how good he with this type of film. Tense from start to finish, it’s an unflinching look at the horrors perpetrated by the Zodiac killer, and the toll it took on the detectives who worked the case. And after going through all the evidence myself, I have to agree with the film’s conclusion that Arthur Leigh Allen was the killer.
Number 27
Title:Silent Hill Year: 2006 Plot: Rose Da Silva takes her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the town of Silent Hill in an attempt to cure her of her ailment. After a violent car crash, Sharon disappears and Rose begins a horrific journey to get her back. Starring: Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean, Jodelle Ferland, Deborah Kara Unger, Kim Coates, Tanya Allen, Alice Krige Directed by: Christophe Gans Based on: The Silent Hill video game series created by Konami. Notes: This is one of those films that you only watch once, even though it’s really good. At least it is for me, and I’ll tell you why. Little girl barbeque *intense shudder*. But all the best elements of the game are beautifully, and horrifyingly, brought to life. It’s tense, it’s creepy, and better acted than other video game adaptations.
Number 26
Title: Shrek Year: 2001 Plot: A mean lord exiles fairytale creatures to the swamp home of a grumpy ogre, who must go on a quest and rescue a princess for the lord in order to get his land back. Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, Conrad Vernon, Vincent Cassel, Jim Cummings Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson Based on: The children’s picture book Shrek! by William Steig. Notes: This film is so much fun. Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy play off each other perfectly, and the result is hilarious. There’s also a ton of slightly off colour jokes that adults will get but not the kids, so it’s fun for all ages.
Number 25
Title: The Mothman Prophecies Year: 2002 Plot: A recently widowed reporter goes to a small town to investigate strange, possibly supernatural, happenings. Starring: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Will Patton, Lucinda Jenney, Yvonne Erickson, David Eigenberg, Debra Messing Directed by: Mark Pellington Based on: The non-fiction book The Mothman Prophecies by John Keel. Notes: A total hidden gem, I never hear people talk about this film, and it’s a real shame. It’s so good, very well acted, and tense. A good time.
Number 24
Title: Gladiator Year: 2000 Plot: A former Roman General sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery. Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, Spencer Treat Clark Directed by: Ridley Scott Based on: While not based on a true story, it is historical fiction that uses real figures and settings to tell a fictional tale. Notes: Ancient history is something I eat right up, so even a fictional story set in ancient times is something I’ll likely love (unless they fuck it up completely).
Number 23
Title:Queen of the Damned Year: 2002 Plot: The vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires. Starring: Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez, Paul McGann, Lena Olin, Matthew Newton, Claudia Black, Christian Manon, Bruce Spence, Tiriel Mora Directed by: Michael Rymer Based on: The books The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice (more or less…) Notes: Yes, I’m aware how bad this movie is. But that’s part of its charm! It’s only very loosely based on Anne Rice’s amazing novels, and while I wish they had gotten the same lush treatment that Interview did, I’m not at all upset with how this turned out. The soundtrack is absolutely killer, standouts being David Draiman’s Forsaken and Jay Gordon’s Slept So Long.
Number 22
Title:Jeepers Creepers Year: 2001 Plot: Trish and Darry are driving home for spring break when they encounter a being who eats parts of his victims to reshape its own body. Starring: Gina Philips, Justin Long, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher, Eileen Brennan, Brandon Smith Directed by: Victor Salva Based on: While not a true story, the opening scene where Trish and Darry witness a man dumping a body is heavily influenced by a case in 1990. Ray and Marie Thornton witnessed Dennis DePue disposing of his wife’s body behind an abandoned schoolhouse. DePue subsequently chased the siblings in his van. Notes: Ok, I had no idea that the opening scene was based on a true story! It’s amazing what you can find out with a little research, hehe. But this film is so much fun, silly title aside. The Creeper is such a fun villain, and how cute was Justin Long in this??
Number 21
Title: Ice Age Year: 2002 Plot: Manny the mammoth, Sid the loquacious sloth, and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger go on a comical quest to return a human baby back to his father, across a world on the brink of an ice age. Starring: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Cedric the Entertainer, Stephen Root, Diedrich Bader, Alan Tudyk, Jane Krakowski Directed by: Carlos Saldanha, Chris Wedge Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael Berg, Michael J Wilson, and Peter Ackerman Notes: This has to be one of my very favourite animated films. It’s absolutely hilarious and heart-warming at the same time. It’s animated beautifully and has a simple yet wonderful message of love and acceptance.
Number 20
Title: Identity Year: 2003 Plot: Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rain storm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they’re being killed off one by one. Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Ray Liotta, John Hawkes, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C. McGinley, William Lee Scott, Jake Busey, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Rebecca De Mornay, Bret Loehr Directed by: James Mangold Based on: The book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (while not a direct adaptation, it adopts the same “ten strangers in an isolated location” premise and kills them off one by one, incorporating a modern twist). Notes: The film is so tense, so good, with a killer (pun totally intended) twist before twists were a dime a dozen. The only part of the film I dislike is the very last scene. It’s just over a minute long, and undoes everything the film was trying to do. I always turn it off just before this scene. It doesn’t exist to me.
Number 19
Title: Harry Potter(s) Year: 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2009 Plot: The trials and tribulations of Harry Potter and his friends at a wizarding school while they try fight a villain long thought dead. Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Gary Oldman, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Bonnie Wright, Kenneth Branagh, John Cleese, Michael Gambon, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Issacs, Julie Walters, David Bradley, Mark Williams, Toby Jones (v.o.), Richard Harris, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Emma Thompson, Warwick Davis, Brendan Gleeson, Robert Pattinson, Katie Leung, Clémence Poésy, Fiona Shaw, Evanna Lynch, Natalia Tena, Imelda Staunton, Richard Griffiths, Helen McCrory Directed by: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates Based on: The first 6 books in the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) Notes: Ok, so maybe I’m cheating here, but I didn’t want a good chunk of the list to be Harry Potter films, so I lumped them all into one. Sure, the author is problematic, but HP Lovecraft was a raging racist. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy their work.
Number 18
Title:Mr Brooks Year: 2007 Plot: Mr Brooks is a well respected businessman who highlights as a serial killer. When he’s photographed at his latest murder site, he must do as the photographer says or he’ll be turned in to police. Starring: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, William Hurt, Dane Cook, Danielle Panabaker, Marg Helgenberger, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Lindsay Crouse Directed by: Bruce A Evans Based on: An original screenplay written by Bruce A Evans and Raynold Gideon. Notes: I’m a sucker for serial killer films, and I think this is one of the great ones. Except for the last two minutes. They change an otherwise cool and collected character into a blubbering mess, and I hate it. Another one I shut off before the end.
Number 17
Title:A Knight’s Tale Year: 2001 Plot: After his master dies, a peasant squire, fueled by his desire for food (and glory), creates a new identity for himself as a knight and enters jousting competitions. Starring: Heath Ledger, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon, Paul Bettany, Laura Fraser, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell, James Purefoy Directed by: Brian Helgeland Based on: While not a direct adaptation of a specific book, it is heavily inspired by Geoffrey Chaucer’s 14th-century work The Knight’s Tale from The Canterbury Tales. Notes: Melding middle ages with hints of the modern age, this film is so much fun. Heath Ledger made me absolutely swoon as William Thatcher, the squire who dreams of greatness. The jousting sequences are absolutely amazing!
Number 16
Title:1408 Year: 2007 Plot: Author Michael Enslin, who specializes in debunking paranormal occurrences, checks into the fabled room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel in New York City and soon confronts genuine terror. Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Jasmine Jessica Anthony, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr Directed by: Mikael Håfström Based on: The short story 1408 by Stephen King Notes: I actually wasn’t crazy about this film the first time I watched it. I’m not sure why I watched it again, but I’m glad I did. I quite love it now.
Number 15
Title:Pitch Black Year: 2000 Plot: A transport ship crashes and leaves its crew stranded on a desert planet inhabited by bloodthirsty creatures that come out during an eclipse. Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Keith David, Lewis Fitz-Gerald, Rhiana Griffith, Claudia Black, John Moore Directed by: David Twohy Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy, Ken Wheat, and Jim Wheat. Notes: I might be in the minority here, but I absolutely love this film. It’s such an awesome, tense film with some great characters (plus a few throw away ones, but I suppose that’s par for the course for a horror movie).
Number 14
Title:Wall-E Year: 2008 Plot: In a future where humans have temporarily abandoned Earth, a trash-compacting robot falls in love with a flying droid and helps her on her quest to restore hope to mankind. Starring: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver, MackInTalk Digital Performer Directed by: Andrew Stanton Based on: An original screenplay written by Andrew Stanton and Jim Reardon. Notes: Who knew a film with so little dialog could be so engaging? I recently rewatched this and I loved it just as much as I did back then. Literally perfect film.
Number 13
Title: Signs Year: 2002 Plot: A widowed former reverend living with his children and brother on a Pennsylvania farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields, which suggests something more frightening to come. Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones, M Night Shyamalan, Patricia Kalember, Merritt Wever Directed by: M Night Shyamalan Based on: An original screenplay written by M Night Shyamalan. Notes: I love this film. Sometimes heart-warming, sometimes spooky, it’s so well done. And it has one of the best jumpscares ever.
Number 12
Title:The Eye (Gin Gwai) Year: 2002 Plot: A blind musician receives a corneal transplant, only to discover she can see ghosts and terrifying supernatural visions, leading her to investigate the donor’s past. Starring: Lee Sin-Je, Lawrence Chou, Candy Lo, Chutcha Rujinanon, Yut Lai So, Edmund Chen, Yin Ping Ko, Wisarup Annuar Directed by: Danny Pang, Oxide Chun Pang Based on: An original screenplay written by the Pang brothers. They were inspired by a newspaper report they read about a girl who committed suicide after a corneal transplant. Notes: Forget the awful American remake with Jessica Alba, this Hong Kong/Singapore film is where it’s at. Tense and sometimes genuinely terrifying, this one will have you leery of elevators for years!
Number 11
Title:Repo! The Genetic Opera Year: 2008 Plot: A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however. Starring: Alexa PenaVega, Anthony Stewart Head, Terrance Zdunich, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, Paris Hilton, Bill Moseley, Kevin ‘ohGr’ Ogilvie, Sarah Power Directed by: Darren Lynn Bousman Based on: A 2002 stage musical of the same name (originally titled The Necromerchant’s Debt) written and composed by Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich. Notes: I generally am not a fan of musicals. The only exceptions, I guess, are animated films, but they don’t really fall under the umbrella of “musical”. But when I saw this, a goth musical starring a bunch of people I knew, I had to give it a try. And boy did I not regret it! This film is absolutely awesome, and all of the songs are amazing! Everyone did a great job with it, even, surprisingly, Paris Hilton.
Number 10
Title:X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand Year: 2000, 2003, 2006 Plot: In a world where mutants (evolved super-powered humans) exist and are discriminated against, two groups form for an inevitable clash: the supremacist Brotherhood, and the pacifist X-Men. Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Aaron Stanford, Shawn Ashmore, Kelsey Grammer, Ben Foster, Elliot Page, Cameron Bright Directed by: Bryan Singer, Brett Ratner Based on: The Marvel comic books created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The superhero team first appeared in The X-Men #1 in 1963, later becoming famous for the long-running Uncanny X-Men series and numerous spin-offs. Notes: I’m cheating again here by putting 3 films in one spot, but if I didn’t, there’d be 3 entries for X-Men in the list because I loved all three of these films. Yes, even the much maligned third one. I thought it was fun, didn’t get the adverse reaction it got.
Number 9
Title:Center Stage Year: 2000 Plot: A group of dancers from various backgrounds enroll at the American Ballet Academy in New York to make it as ballet dancers and each one deals with the problems and stress of training and getting ahead in the world of dance. Starring: Amanda Schull, Sascha Radetsky, Ethan Stiefel, Zoe Saldaña, Susan May Pratt, Peter Gallagher, Ilia Kulik, Donna Murphy, Eion Bailey Directed by: Nicholas Hytner Based on: An original screenplay written by Carol Heikkinen. Notes: I love dance movies, even bad ones, simply cause I love the dancing. This one is about ballet, and they hired actual ballet dancers to star in the film. And surprisingly, the acting doesn’t suffer for it. The dance sequences are amazing, and all the characters are engaging. Simply wonderful.
Number 8
Title:Frailty Year: 2001 Plot: A mysterious man arrives at the offices of an FBI agent and recounts his childhood: how his religious fanatic father received visions telling him to destroy people who were in fact “demons.” Starring: Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Matt O’Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Powers Boothe, Luke Askew, Levi Kreis, Derk Cheetwood Directed by: Bill Paxton Based on: An original screenplay written by Brent Hanley, although he was heavily inspired by the real-life 70’s serial killer Joseph Kallinger. Kallinger was a religious fanatic who believed he was on a divine mission and forced his young son to help him kidnap and murder people. Notes: This is such an underrated gem of a film. It’s so tense, so disturbing, and everyone turns in amazing performances. I highly recommend seeing this film if you haven’t already!
Number 7
Title:From Hell Year: 2001 Plot: In 1888 London, a Scotland Yard investigator searches for Jack the Ripper, and a conspiracy begins to unfold. Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Robbie Coltrane, Katrin Cartlidge, Susan Lynch, Ian Holm, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng, Terence Harvey, Lesley Sharp, Annabelle Apsion, Joanna Page Directed by: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes Based on: The historical-fiction graphic novel From Hell by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Both the movie and the book are based on a specific, largely discredited theory about the Ripper’s identity, which was popularized by Stephen Knight’s 1976 book, Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution. Notes: I actually didn’t love this movie the first time I saw it, although I couldn’t tell you why. It has everything I love in a good serial killer film, plus Johnny Depp to boot. But I love it now, even if this particular theory about the Ripper is horseshit. Crazy conspiracy theories make good cinema, however.
Number 6
Title:The Haunting in Connecticut Year: 2009 Plot: After a family is forced to relocate for their son’s health, they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home and uncover a sinister history. Starring: Kyle Gallner, Virginia Madsen, Martin Donovan, Elias Koteas, Amanda Crew, Sophi Knight, Ty Wood Directed by: Peter Cornwell Based on: The book In a Dark Place: The Story of a True Haunting by Ray Garton and famous paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren. Supposedly based on a “true story”, and I put that in heavy quotations. Notes: This is only a loose retelling of the Warrens’ book, it’s got a lot of stuff added to it, and the Warrens themselves aren’t even in this movie. But it’s such a great little film. It’s spooky, atmospheric, and very well acted. This is a definite horror gem of the 2000’s. Plus, Kyle Gallner. Meow.
Number 5
Title:Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Year: 2003 Plot: An intrepid blacksmith teams up with an eccentric pirate captain to save his love from an undead pirate crew. Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Zoe Saldaña Directed by: Gore Verbinski Based on: The classic Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney theme parks. The screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio took the theme park ride’s atmosphere, iconic animatronic scenes, and pirate lore, and built an original swashbuckling adventure around them. Notes: When I heard they were making a movie based on a ride at a Disney theme park, I almost died laughing. “They’ve really hit rock bottom” I thought. But then I saw the film and I took it all back. It’s so much fun! Johnny Depp made one of the most iconic characters of the 21st century.
Number 4
Title:Constantine Year: 2005 Plot: Detective Angela approaches Constantine, a demon hunter, to help her investigate her twin sister’s mysterious death. As he digs deeper, he realizes that demons are trying to enter the human world. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale, Djimon Hounsou, José Zúñiga, Peter Stormare Directed by: Francis Lawrence Based on: The Hellblazer graphic novels by Alan Moore, Steve Bissette, and John Totleben. Notes: I saw the movie before reading any of the comics, so imagine my surprise when I saw how different the film actually was. While I did enjoy the books, it’s the movie that I actually revisit. It’s just so good, everyone giving great performances, Keanu’s stoic nature actually perfect for this character.
Number 3
Title:The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Year: 2001, 2002, 2003 Plot: A meek Hobbit from the Shire and eight companions set out on a journey to destroy the powerful One Ring and save Middle-earth from the Dark Lord Sauron. Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, John Rhys-Davies, Liv Tyler, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Ian Holm, Andy Serkis (v.o.), Sean Bean, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, Bernard Hill, Brad Dourif, David Wenham, John Noble, Sala Baker Directed by: Peter Jackson Based on:The Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien Notes: I’m not really cheating here, since this is one long story that was actually filmed all at the same time. But what can I say about this? It’s so very good, the New Zealand landscape looking the part of a magical, lush, beautiful world. Every single character from the mains to the extras are doing their absolute best, and you can really see their dedication. Just amazing.
Number 2
Title:The Exorcism of Emily Rose Year: 2005 Plot: A lawyer takes on a negligent homicide case involving a priest who performed an exorcism on a young lady that resulted in her death. Starring: Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Jennifer Carpenter, Campbell Scott, Colm Feore, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Joshua Close, JR Bourne, Mary Beth Hurt Directed by: Scott Derrickson Based on: The book The Exorcism of Anneliese Michel by Dr Felicitas Goodman. Also based on a “true story”. Notes: This film is at times poignant, at times tense, and at times downright scary. Jennifer Carpenter gives a tour-de-force performance as the possessed girl.
Number 1
Title: The Ring Year: 2002 Plot: A journalist must investigate a mysterious videotape which seems to cause the death of anyone seven days after they view it. Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Rachael Bella, Amber Tamblyn, Daveigh Chase Directed by: Gore Verbinski Based on: The book Ring written by Koji Suzuki. It is also a remake of the Japanese film Ringu. Notes: Finally, my absolute favourite film of the decade, The Ring is tense, scary, with buckets of atmosphere. The actors all do a great job. As a side note, the original dvd had a copy of the video that the characters watch in its entirety that you literally could not stop. They made it so that you couldn’t press stop, couldn’t pause, and I almost had a heart attack. I know it’s just a movie, but I really didn’t want to see the full video, haha.
Honourable mentions:
Troy Ginger Snaps Donnie Darko The Dark Knight Saw The Grudge Stardust Session 9 Inkheart The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Save the Last Dance Juno
And that’s it! Are your favourites on the list? Let me know, and stay tuned for the next (and last) in this series, the 30 best of the 10’s. I’ve got a list started for the 20’s, but I won’t be doing it til 2030, so I’ve got some time to think about it, lol. Or maybe I’ll do 2020 – 2025, then 2026 – 2029 when the time comes. We’ll see.
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