Mel’s Game Review: Elder Scrolls Online

So, I’d been a WoW player (World of Warcraft) since the game came out in.. 2005, I think? I tried other mmo’s while I was playing but, without exception, I always came back to WoW. But last March I started getting that itch to play something else and went hunting on Steam. They were having sales on many games including one called Elder Scrolls Online. I’d heard of the world the game is in (I played Morrowind when I was younger, and knew people who played Skyrim), but I didn’t know they had an mmo. So both the base game and the previous 8 expansions were on sale, ridiculously low. The base game was like 6 bucks, and the expansions were 27. So I gave it a go, and never looked back.

ESO is just better in every way. I had to get used to the controls, though. It’s WASD to walk around, but you need to use the mouse to navigate. It took some getting used to, but once I had it, it’s super easy. The characters all look better, the character creation is wild, so many options. You can even change the size of your boobs and posterior for heaven’s sake! Everything took some getting used to, there was a learning curve, for sure (especially with crafting). And I’m sure I don’t even know everything yet. Even after over a year, I’m still not done all the story zones.

I created one of each class, there’s 7 of them: Sorcerer, Necromancer, Warden, Arcanist, Nightblade, Dragonknight, and Templar. My favourite is probably the Sorcerer, but honestly I like them all (Necromancer maybe a bit less). The gameplay for each class is quite different. So depending on what sort of gameplay I’m in the mood for will determine what I play. Today, for example, I was playing my Warden, which means I use a bow and have a big bear as a helper.

The character models are all cool, as I said, and there’s a lot of different races to choose from: Khajiit (which is a cat person), Dark Elf, Argonian (which is a lizard person), Orc, Wood Elf, High Elf, Redguard, Nord, and Breton. I have one of each except the Redguard and Nord. I’m playing a fantasy game. I don’t wanna be human. Here are my characters.

Left to right: Arytiss Miirik (Orc Dragonknight), Deadly Song (Wood Elf Necromancer), Dirise Miirik (Breton Dragonknight), Eirena Song (Dark Elf Warden)
Left to right: Light’s Song (High Elf Templar), Llewmauryn (Khajiit Sorcerer), Lucy’Fur (Khajiit Templar), Nocna Sjena (Wood Elf Nightblade), Shadow’s Dream (Argonian Arcanist)

Ok, maybe just one human… And yes, I like red and black, hehe. Two of them are of the same classes, but that’s cause I already play them with my mom (yes, I got her to play too!) and wanted to try them alone.

So, do I recommend it? If you like mmo’s then yes, absolutely. I don’t even have a WoW subscription anymore. The new expansion came out, and I didn’t even contemplate going back. I obviously give it a 10/10.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Game Review: Grim Dawn

Grim Dawn is a fantasy/horror ARPG (action role playing game) in the style of the Diablo franchise, released on Steam by the indie company Crate. Called hack and slash games for their rather simple game play, they’re actually some of my favourite games. I have about 500 hours clocked into Grim Dawn, and I don’t think a minute of that was time wasted. The initial game came out in February 2016. There are two expansions, The Ashes of Malmouth, released in October 2017, and Forgotten Gods, released in March 2019.

The story is simple enough (the world “ended” and there are monsters), but it’s so well crafted that it doesn’t matter. And if you take the time to listen to the quest givers and read the lore, you’ll realise just how dark they went with this. There’s a man who locks his family in his house and is about to set them on fire, rather than face this new world. There are journal entries laying around one of the zones, telling the story of a family of cannibals who are becoming less than human. There’s no swearing or nudity, but I still think this is one game that’s not for kids.

The game-play is standard for this type of game. The camera is above your character and you click the mouse to move around and cast spells. Some spells will require the use of the number keys. The looting system is also standard. If playing with a friend, you each get your own drops, which is nice (Path of Exile could take a page out of that book). What’s not standard is parts of the skill tree. There are shrines all over the map that you have to restore and that gives you a Devotion point. You can then use this point to chose stars on a constellation tree. Each constellation gives boosts to different builds (spell casting, melee, ranged, minion build, etc). I’m not sure I’m explaining this right, so let me show you.

That was the most complicated skill tree I’d ever seen since I started playing Path of Exile last week. But once you get used to it, it’s not so bad.

So if you like Diablo-like games and aren’t afraid of a little horror, then I definitely recommend this game for you. As for me, I give it an 11/10. Bloody perfect!

M.

Top 8 Onscreen Angels

Warriors of God, beings of darkness, guardians, or agents of vengeance, angels come in all shapes and sizes. Represented well, angels make great characters. Here are my 8 favourite. Spoilers ahead.

NUMBER 8

The Crow, The Crow

8 The Crow

“People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”

Played by: A raven, actually.
Scary or sexy: Neither, he’s a standard black crow.
His Goal: To bring Eric Draven back to life to avenge the brutal deaths of his fiancée and himself.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 7

Michael, Legion

7 Michael

“This is not your test, Michael. How dare you presume to know His heart?”
“*Putting a hand to his chest* Because He made this one. And it tells me He shouldn’t lose faith now.”

Played by: Paul Bettany
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To save a chosen woman and her unborn baby from God’s temper tantrum.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 6

Horse, Winter’s Tale

6 Horse

“Don’t know who’s more foolish; The horse who won’t listen to his master or the master who listens to his horse.”

Played by: A horse, duh. (Couldn’t find the horse’s real name)
Scary or sexy: Neither, but he’s a gorgeous animal.
His Goal: To guard gold-hearted thief Peter Lake.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 5

Tyrael, Diablo III

5 Tyrael

“You cannot judge me, I am Justice itself! We were meant for more than this! To protect the innocent! But if our precious laws bind you all to inaction … then I will no longer stand as your brother.”

Played by: Jonathan Adams
Scary or sexy: Is strong and beautiful as an angel, and rugged and slightly worn out looking as a mortal.
His Goal: To bind Diablo and the other powerful demons to the black soulstone, then destroy them.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 4

Bartleby & Loki, Dogma

4 Bartleby & Loki

“You know, here’s what I don’t get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You’ve been in His presence. He’s spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.”
“I just like to fuck with the clergy, man.”

Played by: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Scary or sexy: One of them is sexy, the other is Ben Affleck :-p
His Goal: To get back into Heaven, no matter the cost (which, in this case, is negating all existence).
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Loki is killed by Bartleby stabbing him after cutting his wings off (making him human), and Bartleby, after having his own wings shot off, is killed by God’s voice.

NUMBER 3

Gabriel, The Prophecy

3 Gabriel

“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.”

Played by: Christopher Walken
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To unleash a second Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Lucifer rips out his heart and eats it.

NUMBER 2

Gabriel, Constantine

2 Gabriel

“If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. I’ve been watching for a long time. It’s only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves. And you can be so noble. So, I’ll bring you pain, I’ll bring you horror, so that you may rise above it. So that those of you who survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God’s love.”

Played by: Tilda Swinton
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To bring forth the son of Lucifer and make Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is now human.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 1

Castiel, Supernatural

1 Castiel

“She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon”.”
“Well, that’s catchy.”

Played by: Misha Collins
Scary or sexy: Very, very sexy!
His Goal: To help Dean and Sam Winchester in any way he can. It’s way more complicated then that, but I don’t have 3 hours to explain it :-p
Alive at the end?: Yes, then no, then yes, then no, then yes….
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He’s been killed by multiple angels, and the Leviathan, but always comes back somehow.

M.

Distracted, Who Me?

I’ve been neglecting you guys, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve gotten that itch that hits me every so often, to play World of Warcraft. So that’s what I’ve been doing, instead of entertaining you guys. I’m on my way to bed soon for the moment, but I’ll try put WoW on hold long enough tomorrow to post something. I still have lots of ideas, just… World of Warcrack… yeah…

M.