The Shrouds (2024) Vincent Cassel, Diane Kruger, Guy Pearce, Sandrine Holt, Elizabeth Saunders, Jennifer Dale, Jeff Yung Directed by: David Cronenberg
This was a weird one, you guys. And not at all what I thought it was going to be. By the description given on Crave and IMDb, I thought this was going to be a nice haunting, ghosty story. I was very wrong. Also, I just had foot surgery and in a really unfair amount of pain, so I’ll try to be coherent as I write this, but it’s a little hard to focus, so forgive me.
Karsh, an innovative businessman and grieving widower, builds a device to connect with the dead inside a burial shroud. (See, doesn’t that sound supernatural??)
So this is a joined Canada/France production by David Cronenberg (who is Canadian). That should have at least prepared me for what was to come. I was very unprepared. French films are already super weird, but to add Cronenberg to the equation just upped the weird factor. So the story is actually about a man who invents a special kind of burial shroud that hooks to a screen in the grave marker that allows the mourners to actually see the body in the grave as it’s decaying. Why anyone would want that is beyond me, but apparently it comforts our main character. So while looking at his deceased wife’s skull one day, he notices what looks like tiny growths in her bones. Then comes the journey of trying to figure out what they are and where they came from.
Being a Cronenberg film I expected body horror, and while there’s less than one might expect from this director, the stuff that is there is pretty disturbing. I’m also actually surprised that he found an actress who would still do full nudity these days (and one of the most hardcore sex scenes I’ve seen in a film in a long time!). But that just added to the whole surrealness of the images. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure a good amount of the effects were cgi and not practical which is what Cronenberg is kinda known for. It’s kind of a shame.
The acting was pretty good across the board. And it was filmed very well, but I expected that. Where the film suffered is in it’s telling of this story. It was so twisty-turny that it was hard to follow sometimes. I can’t really say anything more about the film without spoiling it, and I do feel this film needs to be experienced at least once. I mean, what’s a little incoherence amongst friends? It’s odd and slightly off-putting, but it’s not without its charm. The ending is pretty ambiguous, but I’m pretty sure I figured it out.
So, do I recommend it? Yes, with the caveat that you have to like weird films. Having seen a few French films already will help you get ready for this one, hehe. As for me, I give it a pretty good 7/10.
M.
This film is currently streaming on Crave, and is available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.
Resurrection (1999) Christophe Lambert, Leland Orser, Peter MacNeill, Robert Joy, Rick Fox, Philip Williams, Barbara Tyson, Jonathan Whittaker, James Kidnie, David Cronenberg Directed by: Russell Mulcahy
Though it came out in ’99, this movie just recently came on my radar from a YouTuber that I like, in a video of “hidden gems of the 90’s”. And while I’m not sure it’s a gem, it was entertaining.
Chicago homicide detectives Prudhomme and Hollingsworth are assigned to investigate a murder. Both become entangled in the plot of a serial killer whose goal is to recreate the body of Christ.
The first thing I noticed about this film is that it desperately wants to be Seven. The detective with a gruff exterior, the pouring rain, the religious angle of the murders. Unfortunately, this movie is no Seven. That’s not to say it isn’t good, it’s just not quite that good.
The acting is all over the place, especially from Lambert, who’s usually very good. And for most of the film he was, just sometimes… I guess the emotion got away from him and he became melodramatic. The story was very good. Despite leaning heavily on the Seven angle, it had enough of its own stuff that it was still interesting enough to not feel like a total rip-off. The cinematography was mostly good except for two parts. One where a snap turn was used twice in a row for seemingly no reason, and once where the video went wobbly, as if to say the character is struggling to stay conscious, but that wasn’t happening. So I’m not sure what the director was trying to accomplish with these scenes, but it did nothing but make me slightly dizzy.
The characters were mostly good, if a little stereotypical. But I enjoyed the friendship of the two lead detectives, who, by all accounts, should not get along. The actor who played the killer (who I won’t name in case anyone was interested in seeing the film after reading my review) did a suitably creepy job, even if his plan was so convoluted and required a lot of people to fall down on the job. Also, finding those specific people with all these traits in common, exactly what he needed for his “ritual”, would probably be impossible, even in a city the size of Chicago. Speaking of Chicago, not a single Chicagoan accent was heard. Pity. Lambert’s accent was cute, though, as usual.
So, do I recommend it? Sure, if for nothing else than that pure 90’s nostalgic vibe. It’s not an amazing movie, but is still worth a watch. I give it a solid 7/10.
It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!
NUMBER 38
Title: The Lawnmower Man Directed by: Brett Leonard Year: 1992 Starring: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.
NUMBER 37
Title: Salem’s Lot Directed by: Gary Dauberman Year: 2024 Starring: Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward Notes: I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.
NUMBER 36
Title: Needful Things Directed by: Fraser C Heston Year: 1993 Starring: Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield Notes: I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.
NUMBER 35
Title: The Night Flier Directed by: Mark Pavia Year: 1997 Starring: Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.
NUMBER 34
Title: In the Tall Grass Directed by: Vincenzo Natali Year: 2019 Starring: Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.
NUMBER 33
Title: The Shining Directed by: Stanley Kubrick Year: 1980 Starring: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone Notes: I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.
NUMBER 32
Title: Thinner Directed by: Tom Holland Year: 1996 Starring: Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer Notes: Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.
NUMBER 31
Title: Cujo Directed by: Lewis Teague Year: 1983 Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.
NUMBER 30
Title: Salem’s Lot Directed by: Tobe Hooper Year: 1979 Starring: David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza Notes: I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…
NUMBER 29
Title: Christine Directed by: John Carpenter Year: 1983 Starring: Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom Notes: I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….
NUMBER 28
Title: Dreamcatcher Directed by: Lawrence Kasdan Year: 2003 Starring: Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg Notes: This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??
NUMBER 27
Title: The Langoliers Directed by: Tom Holland Year: 1995 Starring: Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell Notes: Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.
NUMBER 26
Title: The Tommyknockers Directed by: John Power Year: 1993 Starring: Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords Notes: I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.
NUMBER 25
Title: Carrie Directed by: Brian De Palma Year: 1976 Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles Notes: Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.
NUMBER 24
Title: Storm of the Century Directed by: Craig R Baxley Year: 1999 Starring: Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson Notes: I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.
NUMBER 23
Title: The Dead Zone Directed by: David Cronenberg Year: 1983 Starring: Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen Notes: I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.
NUMBER 22
Title: Secret Window Directed by: David Koepp Year: 2004 Starring: Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill Notes: Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!
NUMBER 21
Title: Pet Sematary Directed by: Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer Year: 2019 Starring: Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine Notes: It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.
NUMBER 20
Title: The Dark Tower Directed by: Nikolaj Arcel Year: 2017 Starring: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick Notes: *Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*
NUMBER 19
Title: The Shining Directed by: Mick Garris Year: 1997 Starring: Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould Notes: I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.
NUMBER 18
Title: Apt Pupil Directed by: Bryan Singer Year: 1998 Starring: Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas Notes: Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).
NUMBER 17
Title: Firestarter Directed by: Mark L Lester Year: 1984 Starring: Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn Notes: Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!
NUMBER 16
Title: The Dark Half Directed by: George A Romero Year: 1993 Starring: Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst Notes: I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.
NUMBER 15
Title: Salem’s Lot Directed by: Mikael Salomon Year: 2004 Starring: Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone Notes: Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.
NUMBER 14
Title: It Chapter 2 Directed by: Andy Muschietti Year: 2019 Starring: James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård Notes: While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.
NUMBER 13
Title: Stand By Me Directed by: Rob Reiner Year: 1986 Starring: Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley Notes: I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.
NUMBER 12
Title: Misery Directed by: Rob Reiner Year: 1990 Starring: James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig Notes: Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.
NUMBER 11
Title: The Green Mile Directed by: Frank Darabont Year: 1999 Starring: Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell Notes: An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!
NUMBER 10
Title: 1408 Directed by: Mikael Håfström Year: 2007 Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony Notes: I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.
NUMBER 9
Title: The Boogeyman Directed by: Rob Savage Year: 2023 Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu Notes: I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.
NUMBER 8
Title: The Mist Directed by: Frank Darabont Year: 2007 Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn Notes: Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!
NUMBER 7
Title: Silver Bullet Directed by: Daniel Attias Year: 1985 Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich Notes: I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.
NUMBER 6
Title: Rose Red Directed by: Craig R Baxley Year: 2002 Starring: Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel Notes: Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.
NUMBER 5
Title: Pet Sematary Directed by: Mary Lambert Year: 1989 Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek Notes: Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!
NUMBER 4
Title: It Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace Year: 1990 Starring: Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry Notes: I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.
NUMBER 3
Title: The Stand Directed by: Mick Garris Year: 1994 Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith Notes: Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.
NUMBER 2
Title: The Shawshank Redemption Directed by: Frank Darabont Year: 1994 Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.
NUMBER 1
Title: It Directed by: Andy Muschietti Year: 2017 Starring: Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård Notes: I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.
And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!
M.
p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.
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