Tag Archives: demons

Dec 18 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring – Last Rites

The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025)
Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy, Steve Coulter, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Beau Gadsdon, and Kíla Lord Cassidy
Directed by: Michael Chaves

The 4th and supposed final film in the wildly popular Conjuring franchise, I had high hopes for this film, seeing how much I loved the others. And while it’s not a bad movie by any means, it is the least good of the bunch.

Ed and Lorraine find themselves this time facing an entity that hits a little too close to home when it reaches out to attack their daughter, Judy.

I was so excited for this film that I did something I never do: I bought the film as soon as it was available on YouTube for either 25 or 30 bucks. I’m not exactly swimming in the dough, so I generally wait til it’s at least down to 15. And while I’m not entirely mad for spending the money, it really could have waited. Ah well.

First the good. It had a banger of an opening. Very atmospheric, very creepy. I was all in at that point. After that, however, things just got a little… formulaic I guess you could say. I can picture the producers sitting around the table smoking cigarettes and saying “just do what the others did and, oh, add tons of jumpscares and creepy smiles. People like those, right?” I really don’t know why every single entity has to smile these days. Sure, once can be creepy, if it’s done right. But all of them? All the time? Nah. The Conjuring had zero creepy smiles and was so much creepier. But I digress.

Everything in the film looked good. Most of the effects and makeup were very well done, as usual. It’s a little gorier than the previous entries, but it was done well. I even had to look away once (I’m not a huge fan of gore, it tends to make me cringe and look away). The acting was all good, but it has been consistently good for these films, so I wasn’t too surprised there. There were a few good, creepy set pieces, but unfortunately most of them ended with a “graaaahhhh!” jumpscare (cue over-dramatic musical sting here).

So do I recommend it? Yes? I guess? If you loved the series as I do, you’ll likely have a good time with it. It’s definitely not bad, just a little underwhelming as a final curtain film. I give it a decent 7/10.

M.

This film is currently for rent or purchase on YouTube and Prime.

Dec 13 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: A Dark Song

A Dark Song (2016)
Catherine Walker and Steve Oram
Directed by: Liam Gavin

I didn’t know what to expect with this one. All I’d really heard about it is that it was slow and amazing to some people, and awful to others. I’m glad I went in blind though, if I’d heard anything, it’d have ruined the experience. So I’ll try not say too much about it, in case someone else wants to see it.

A young woman who has recently lost her son to ritual murder enlists the help of an occultist to undergo a gruelling year-long ritual that will grant her deepest wish.

I always try to not formulate an opinion about a film before I see it, which is very hard in a day where trailers and people who say their own feelings about the film/movie/book exists. Luckily I’d never seen a trailer for this film. All I knew about it is that it was very polarizing. Some people loved it, other found it dull. Me? I’m in the former category. I kinda loved this thing.

First the good. It looked beautiful. The cinematography is on point. It feels very claustrophobic, even when there’s light streaming in through the windows. The writer/director Liam Gavin builds the tension wonderfully, so that even when it seems like not much is happening, you can feel the dread permeate the atmosphere. While there weren’t that many visual and makeup effects, the bit that we did get (mostly in the third act) were surprisingly great for such a small film. The budget, depending on the source, is said to have been between $25,000 and $50,000, which is crazy to me. It looked so good that I would expect it to be much higher. The acting was incredible from both leads. You might think a film with basically just two people in a house would be boring, but I was never bored. And it all culminates in an ending that I’m not afraid to say was poignant and oddly heartwarming, almost like it belonged in a different film. But it works, all of it. And the bad? Nothing really, this film was wonderful.

So do I recommend it? Absolutely, IF you enjoy slow burn films. If you need constant action, then maybe skip this one. I give it an 8.5/10.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Apr 25 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review Double Feature: Superdeep & The Cleansing Hour

Superdeep (Kolskaya Sverhglubokaya) (2020)
Milena Radulovic, Nikita Dyuvbanov, Kirill Kovbas, Vadim Demchog, and Sergey Ivanyuk
Directed by: Arseniy Sukhin


So, I watched this one on a whim. I’d heard of the borehole, and the supposed recordings that came from it, and I thought that it made a good concept for a movie. Well, let me tell you, this was definitely not what I was expecting!

The Kola Superdeep borehole is the largest Russian secret facility. In 1984, at the depth of 12 kilometers below the surface, unexplained sounds were recorded, resembling screams and moans from hell. Since these events, the facility has been closed. A small research team of scientists and military personnel go down below the surface to find the secret hidden all these years.

So first, I watched this on Shudder, and they only had the English dub available. I usually don’t watch movies if they’ve been dubbed, so I’m not sure why I watched this one, but here it is. The actors they got for the dub were horrible. Simply wretched. The lead actress conveyed all the emotion of a stale scone. No matter what she was supposed to be doing or feeling, she had the same tone of voice. And the fact that the lips don’t move along with the voice drives me nuts.

The concept also didn’t seem to fit with what was advertised. “Sounds of hell” to me seems like it would involve demons, maybe ghosts, something in that line. What I got instead was a massive, cordyceps-like parasite. (If you don’t know what cordyceps are, they’re parasites that take over an ant’s nervous system, walks it back to its nest, or up to a high spot, and then spores will explode from the ant’s body, infecting everything around. Pretty creepy stuff.) In any case, it was still an interesting concept, so I kept watching. And while I don’t fully regret it, I can’t say it’s a great movie. It’s over-long, clocking in at 115 minutes. Half an hour could have easily been shaved off this thing to make it more palatable. It felt disjointed and the characters seemed like caricatures. What I will praise the film for is the practical effects. The make-ups were beautiful. And the creature, holy shit was that thing creepy! Just thinking about it gives me the willies.

All in all, I didn’t hate it, but I definitely didn’t love it. Maybe it’d have gotten a higher score had I seen it in its original Russian, but as it is, it gets a 5/10.

…

The Cleansing Hour (2020)
Ryan Guzman, Kyle Gallner, Alix Angelis, Chris Lew Kum Hoi, Daniel Hoffmann-Gill, and Emma Holzer
Directed by: Damien LeVeck


This one has been on my to-watch list since it came out, and I’ve just now got around to it. I’m glad I finally did.

Max and Drew are millennial entrepreneurs who’ve made themselves famous with a webcast they created called “The Cleansing Hour,” which streams live exorcisms. The catch? Each exorcism is elaborately staged. Until today, when Drew’s fiancé, today’s actress in the chair, turns out to actually be possessed!

Unlike Superdeep, this was very much exactly what I was expecting it to be. No shade intended! Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best ones. All the acting was great, especially Kyle Gallner, but no surprise there, he’s wonderful. The makeup and vfx were nothing special, but not awful, either. This was very overt, though. No “is she really possessed?” kind of thing, they make it known right from the get-go that she is. So I missed that sense of mystery a bit. It was also very loud, the sound design was a little jarring. But I suppose that’s to be expected from a film that’s basically one long exorcism. But in the end, I had a good time watching it, so it gets a solid 7.5/10.

M.

Both these films are currently on Shudder.

Mar 10 2022

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring, The Devil Made Me Do It

Conjuring 3The Conjuring, The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ruairi O’Connor, Sarah Catherine Hook, Julian Hilliard, John Noble, Shannon Kook, and Eugenie Bondurant
Directed by: Michael Chaves

This is the third instalment in the wildly popular The Conjuring films. And honestly, it has not lost any of its steam. Or thrills.

After the intense exorcism of young David, Arne invites the demon into himself instead of the boy. Just when things look like they’ve gone back to normal, Arne starts seeing things, which escalates into him killing a man. Enter demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren, who convince the defence lawyer to plead innocent due to demonic possession.

“Based on a true story”, and yes, I’m using giant quotations for that. I don’t believe a word of it, but I can’t deny that I love pretty much everything about this film. The love story between Ed and Lorraine is wonderful, even if in real life they were nothing but scam artists. Fans of the other two Conjuring films might find this one a little different, a little slower, but I found it great. All of the acting and effects were stellar, as expected. They did a good job making Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga 50-ish. I couldn’t tell if it was done digitally or with makeup, so job well done. The story was more detective-like, with Ed and Lorraine trying to figure out what happened. My dad actually found the film too slow, enjoying only the beginning and end, but I thought the pacing was just fine. But it’s true that if you don’t like slower films, then I would not reccomend to watch this. All in all, I thought it was bomb, and it gets an almost perfect 9/10 from me.

This film is currently available for rental and buying on YouTube (which is where I buy my films) and Amazon Prime. Enjoy!

M.

Apr 29 2020

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Possession of Michael King

The Possession of Michael King
(2014) Shane Johnson, Cara Pifko, Julie McNiven, Ella Anderson, Tomas Arana, Patricia Healy, Cullen Douglas, Jed Rees, Tobias Jelinek, and Dale Dickey

Let me start by saying that I generally don’t like found footage type films. No matter how good the story is, I just can’t get past the shaky cam, it’s rather nauseating. With that in mind, this film is done so well, and with a minimum of actual “shakiness”, that I didn’t mind. I went into this with zero expectations, and was pleasantly surprised. This film is much better than it has any right being.

Michael is an atheist who recently lost his wife in an unfortunate accident. After confronting his late wife’s “spiritual adviser” (a tarot card reader), he decides to make a documentary featuring what he believes will be proof that the supernatural doesn’t exist. He’s going to do any ritual he can find and when none of them work, that’ll be the proof he says. As is obvious in the title, things go horribly wrong.

Everything was remarkably good for a little indie film. Acting, effects, makeup, all were pretty stellar. The one thing I could say about it is that there were a few too many jump scares in a film that was creepy enough that it didn’t need them. There weren’t so many that I got annoyed, but still, the film could have done without. The plot was really simple, but it was done so well that it didn’t really need more. And that’s pretty much it. I’m trying to find other stuff to say, but “it was pretty great” pretty much covers it. A solid 8/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Tubi.

Nov 8 2019

Top 8 Onscreen Demons

Movies featuring demons are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring demons are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, they can be downright terrifying.

I’ll only be including films in which the demon has a physical body, so no possession films. I’ll do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

 

NUMBER EIGHT

 Dogma

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

Name: Azrael
From What?: Dogma
Played by: Jason Lee
Scary or sexy: Sexy-ish (he was kinda cute back in the day, hehe)
His Goal: To negate all of existence. Apparently hell is awful.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Silent Bob killed him with a golf club that had been blessed by a priest.

 

NUMBER SEVEN

HellBoy

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

Name: Hellboy
From What?: Hellboy
Played by: Ron Perlman
Scary or sexy: Neither, really. Liz digs it, though, hehe.
His Goal: To stop the incoming Apocalypse and save his lady love.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER SIX

Sinister

“The symbol is associated with a Pagan deity named Bughuul. He consumes the souls of human children. The ancient church believed that Bughuul actually lived in the images themselves and that they were gateways into his realm. Children exposed to these images were especially vulnerable to Bughuul’s abductions.”

Name: Bughuul
From What?: Sinister
Played by: Nick King
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: Infecting a child so that he/she kills their whole family, then he abducts the child.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FIVE

Constantine

“Word is you’re on your way down. Fresh meat. Finger lickin’ good.”

Name: Balthazar
From What?: Constantine
Played by: Gavin Rossdale
Scary or sexy: Sexy (at least until John melts his skin with holy water)
His Goal: The usual demon stuff, plus mess with John as much as he can
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is sent back to hell.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FOUR

Buffy

“You don’t know how to kill this thing?”
“I thought I might try violence.”

Name: Der Kindestod
From What?: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Played by: James Jude Courtney
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary
His Goal: Feeding on the life essence of children in a hospital.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Buffy killed it by snapping its neck.

 

NUMBER THREE

Angel

“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. That was… you were so… brave!”
“You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You’re stepping on my moment of manliness here.”
Name: Doyle
From What?: Angel
Played by: Glenn Quinn
Scary or sexy: Sexy (until the demon comes out)
His Goal: To help Angel save people using his visions from the “powers-that-be”.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He sacrifices himself to turn off a device that would kill a lot of humans (and I cried like a baby).

NUMBER TWO
Conjuring 2
“Your name gives me dominion over you, demon, and I do know your name! You are Valak! The defiler! The profane, the marquis of snakes! In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I condemn you back to hell!”

Name: Valak
From What?: The Conjuring 2 / The Nun
Played by: Bonnie Aarons
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary. Omg, did this thing give me the absolute heeb.
His Goal: To kill Ed Warren via a haunting he’s investigating in England.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is banished back to hell by Lorraine.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER ONE


“Easy, love. If you remember our time in Mesopotamia the way I do, you know I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

Name: Various, there are so many demons in this world, with Crowley being the most important.
From What?: Supernatural
Played by: Various, but Mark Sheppard plays Crowley
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: Again, various things. Crowley wants to be the King of Hell, Lilith wants to start Armageddon, etc.
Alive at the end?: Both
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?:  Those that are killed are usually done so by Sam or Dean with their special knife or gun.

And that’s it for the demons. Who (or what) are your favourites? let me know in the comments, and I’ll see you next time!

M.

Aug 18 2015

Mel’s 10 Things About… Penny Dreadful, season 2

Penny Dreadful (2014 – present)
(Season 2 Cast) Eva Green, Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton, Harry Treadaway, Reeve Carney, Rory Kinnear, Danny Sapani, Helen McCrory, Billie Piper, Simon Russell Beale, Sarah Greene, Douglas Hodge, Jonny Beauchamp, Hannah Tointon, Patti LuPone

Penny-Dreadful 2

{SPOILERS INCOMING}

1. Not quite as good as season 1, but still bloody excellent! This show is so good that for a while after watching it, I have trouble enjoying other stuff, cause not much is as good!
2. Kinda disappointed they started a new storyline instead of continuing the one they left off. I mean what, are the brothers politely taking turns trying to claim Vanessa?
3. Eva Green is hot. So is Josh Hartnett. Meow.
4. Mrs Poole’s dolls were creepy as hell… right up to the finale, where Vanessa was arguing with her doll. It was supposed to be tense and scary, but unfortunately came off a little silly. It’s really the only really bad thing I can say about the season, though.
5. Speaking of the finale, with each character ending up completely alone, I hope it doesn’t take half of season 3 to reunite them!
6. The whole Angelique sub-plot felt kinda tacked on for no other reason than to shock the audience. I liked her, I did, but it always felt superfluous to the rest of the story.
7. Lily’s big reveal was quite something, very unexpected. A little sad, cause the blossoming love story between her and Victor was super cute, but I suppose no one can stay happy for long in this world.
8. I’m a bit sad that Dorian, whose character I loved in season 1, went so bad so fast. I know he was never a good guy, but I dunno. I just really preferred him in season 1.
9. Loved all of Vanessa’s back story. The episode about her and her mentor was absolutely perfect, start to end.
10. Looking forward to see what Hecate will be up to next. Here’s hoping they don’t just skip to the next story again, and just leave her hanging. I need to find out if Ethan will really be turned bad. I certainly hope not.

If you haven’t seen this show and like all things macabre, then I suggest you put down whatever you’re doing and see it, now! It’s playing in several country’s Netflix, and is also playing on On Demand.

M.

Jun 2 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Annabelle

Annabelle
(2014) Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Alfre Woodard, Tony Amendola, Eric Ladin, Joseph Bishara

Annabelle film still

Ah, what a sad disappointment this was. Especially since The Conjuring was so good. The doll was massively creepy in that film, but only ugly in this one. Most of the actors were alright, but Annabelle Wallis was downright difficult to watch sometimes, emotionless save for a look on her face that looks like she’s desperately trying to remember her lines. The story was so generic that it almost hurt, and far from being creepy, that demon was just funny. The film had a few good, tense scenes, but on the whole, was mostly a yawn-fest. And it gets an equally dull score from me, a very meh 5/10. Avoid unless you really have a hard on for possessed dolls.

This film is not currently playing on Netflix.

M.

May 28 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Last Exorcism Part 2

The Last Exorcism Part 2
(2014) Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, Tarra Riggs, Muse Watson, David Jensen, Louis Herthum, Erica Michelle, E Roger Mitchell

the-last-exorcism-part-2

So, I find myself not really having anything to say about this film. It wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great either. It picks up where the first one left off, with Nell escaping the woods and ending up in a hospital, then a troubled women’s home. A few months later, wouldn’t you know it, strange things start happening again. It’s different that the first one in the way that there isn’t really much possession going on, it’s more about the beast trying to get back in. The acting was decent, the writing decent, the locale decent, this film is all together decent, and ultimately forgettable. Despite it’s decentness, I can’t really recommend this film. It was just too… bland. And so it gets a bland score from me, 6/10.

I’m not sure if this film is on Netflix yet, I taped it off of TMN. If you’re interested enough to check it out, have at it.

 

M.

Apr 26 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: The Exorcist

The Exorcist (1971)
Written by: William Peter Blatty
Read by: William Peter Blatty

exorcist

(Questions from Audible’s reviews form)

What made the experience of listening to The Exorcist the most enjoyable?
I’d read the book already, years ago, so I already knew the story. What made this so special was the fact that it was an audiobook, so I got treated to demonic voices and stuff right in my ears, and not just as writing. It was scary enough to read, it got cranked all the way to 11 as an audiobook.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Exorcist?
The part that really stays with me is the part when Karras is listening to the tape of Regan’s voice played backwards and realizes that the gibberish she was speaking wasn’t gibberish at all, but english, spoken perfectly backwards. So very, very creepy.

Have you listened to any of William Peter Blatty and Eliana Shaskan ’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Nope, never have. I was rather impressed with Blatty’s performance, too. He really gave it his all.

If you could rename The Exorcist, what would you call it?
I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s such an iconic title, there’s no way I’d change it, even if I could.

Any additional comments?
There’s really not much else to say. It’s perfect. Just the right amount of thrills and even some gore, but still manages to not go over the top, as is so easy to do with this type of story. 10/10.

M.