Tag Archives: Mel’s 5 Second Review

Mar 14 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Night House

The Night House (2020)
Rebecca Hall, Sarah Goldberg, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Evan Jonigkeit, Stacy Martin
Directed by: David Bruckner

This movie has been on my Disney+ watchlist since it arrived on the platform. I’ve been really wanting to see it but never seemed to get around to it. I finally did and, well, I’m not sure how I feel about it.

A recently widowed woman comes to think her house is haunted, but is it really her husband?

I didn’t dislike the movie, let’s get that out of the way. I liked it, I think. It was definitely more of a slow burn, but not in a bad way, I was never bored. But I don’t know, there was just something that felt a little off. I think it might have a lot to do with Rebecca Hall’s performance. While not bad, the character just seemed.. off? I’m not sure if that was intentional, or if it’s just something that I imagined, but I didn’t care a whole lot about her because of it.

SPOILERS INCOMING

Although, to be fair, I don’t know how I would react if first, my husband commits suicide seemingly out of the blue and second, has some pretty awful secrets. So maybe she’s not acting weird at all. I did enjoy the end. I’ve seen some others say that it was lacking, but I thought it fit the tone of the rest of the film. There’s a nice sense of dread that permeates the entire film, which is nice. Also, how cute is Evan Jonigkeit as the husband? My goodness. He’s got odd features, but they work.

So, do I recommend it? I do, if slow burn ghost stories are your bag. It gets a pretty good 7.5/10 from me.

M.

Mar 6 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Perewangan

Perewangan (2024)
Davina Karamoy, Beby Evelyn, Ully Triani, Shanty, Septian Dwi Cahyo, Syifa Aulia, Randy Nidji
Directed by: Awi Suryadi

I watched this off my Shudder watchlist last night. I enjoy demon-y type movies, so I figured I’d give this little Indonesian film a chance. And it was… fine.

After a woman is seemingly possessed, the shock sends her husband to a psychiatric hospital. But the real terror waits for her children after the father comes home.

I’m not even sure I have enough to say about this for a full blog post, but I’ll try. It was an altogether average film. The acting was fine. The story was fine, if a little uninspired. The camerawork was fine, although it did get a little annoying with the weird angles sometimes. The demon looked ok, but again, uninspired. One thing I really didn’t like, though, was their over-reliance of cgi. There were hardly any makeup effects, it was all cg. It takes away from a film, I find, if over-used. The one big makeup they had was some shots of the demon itself, and honestly, it looked a little silly. The film was also over-long, clocking in at 1 hour 49 minutes. 20 minutes could have easily been shaved off this thing.

I didn’t know anything about this demon, the Perewangan, because it’s from Javanese folklore. The word means “helper” and is basically a demon you summon to grant you what you want, but it must be fed. And if you don’t, you’re cursed and possessed. It’s multigenerational as well, so even if you kill yourself or something, that won’t stop it. It’s a pretty common myth, they have something like that from many cultures around the world, but they could have done something more interesting with the concept, I’m sure. And the ending is, in a word, typical.

So do I recommend it? Meh, not really. There’s not much to recommend. It gets a fine 5/10 from me.

M.

This is currently streaming on Shudder.

Feb 15 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Witchboard

Witchboard (1986)
Todd Allen, Tawny Kitaen, Stephen Nichols, Kathleen Wilhoite, Burke Byrnes, James W Quinn, JP Luebsen
Directed by: Kevin Tenney

I was in the mood for a fun, cheesy horror movie last night, and noticed this was on Shudder, so I put it on. And while it lacked a bit of that 80’s charm, it was still pretty good.

When a woman becomes terrorized by a spirit after using a Ouija board by herself, her fiancé and her ex, who used to be his best friend, must join forces to find out how to save her.

This is one of the few “bigger” horror B movies from the 80’s that I hadn’t seen yet. After hearing about it from Daniel over at The Cobwebs Channel, I decided to take the plunge. It was lacking a bit on the fun and even the cheese. It takes itself pretty seriously (except maybe with the character of Zarabeth) and therefor lacked a bit. But what I did get was a pretty good haunting/possession film (not good enough to edge out any of the top 15 I did, hehe). Tawny Kitaen, otherwise known as a “Video Vixen“, was surprisingly good in the role of the terrorized woman, and although she’s drop dead gorgeous, her hair… oh my god. It’s SOO fried, like too much bleach and teasing fried. I know it was the 80’s, but damn! Use some conditioner! Her fiancé was played well by Todd Allen. The character is aloof and a bit of an asshole but still you’re rooting for him. And the ex best friend, whoa those eyeballs! So green! There weren’t a lot of effects, just one decapitation that looks a little funny. And what little makeup effects we got were done well. All in all, it’s a good time.

Do I recommend it? Sure, if you enjoy 80’s films. If you don’t, I’d advise against it. I give it a good 7.5/10.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Shudder.

Feb 1 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Weapons

Weapons (2025)
Julia Garner, Josh Brolin, Alden Ehrenreich, Benedict Wong, Amy Madigan, Cary Christopher, Austin Abrams, Scarlett Sher (v.o.)
Directed by: Zach Cregger

This film was on a lot of people’s Best Of lists for 2025. And I gotta say, I don’t understand the hype.

When all the children save one in a teacher’s classrom leave their houses in the middle of the night and vanishes, a small town is thrust into a mystery where anyone and every one are suspects.

So this is a film by Zach Cregger. Had I known that going in, maybe my expectations would have been more tempered. I didn’t hate Barbarian, but I didn’t love it either. I have to say, I enjoyed the first act. The mystery, the suspense, it was all great. The characters are imperfect, just like real life. But then the second act, where we find out what’s actually going on (which I won’t spoil in case anyone still has yet to see it and wants to), I was left very cold. I was like “Oh, It’s (redacted). Is that it?” And then the third act, holy shit. It was so silly, so over the top. People in the cinema with me were laughing out loud, and so was I, but not in a good way. Had it have been comedic all the way through, then maybe it wouldn’t have been so jarring.

But, I have to give credit where credit is due. The film looked beautiful. There were a few creepy moments. And all the acting was superb, and I’m not mad that Amy Madigan got an Oscar nod. Actually, horror is doing well at the Oscars this year, and I’m here for it. Now to see if they actually win any… But I digress. I just feel like Cregger picked the low hanging fruit as his reveal. I’m not saying I could have written it better, but he should have.

Now for the hard part. Do I recommend it? No… and yes. Knowing how many people adored this thing, I would say “I didn’t care for it, but so many others loved it, so give it a shot.” As for me, I give this a 5/10.

M.

Dec 18 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring – Last Rites

The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025)
Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy, Steve Coulter, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Beau Gadsdon, and Kíla Lord Cassidy
Directed by: Michael Chaves

The 4th and supposed final film in the wildly popular Conjuring franchise, I had high hopes for this film, seeing how much I loved the others. And while it’s not a bad movie by any means, it is the least good of the bunch.

Ed and Lorraine find themselves this time facing an entity that hits a little too close to home when it reaches out to attack their daughter, Judy.

I was so excited for this film that I did something I never do: I bought the film as soon as it was available on YouTube for either 25 or 30 bucks. I’m not exactly swimming in the dough, so I generally wait til it’s at least down to 15. And while I’m not entirely mad for spending the money, it really could have waited. Ah well.

First the good. It had a banger of an opening. Very atmospheric, very creepy. I was all in at that point. After that, however, things just got a little… formulaic I guess you could say. I can picture the producers sitting around the table smoking cigarettes and saying “just do what the others did and, oh, add tons of jumpscares and creepy smiles. People like those, right?” I really don’t know why every single entity has to smile these days. Sure, once can be creepy, if it’s done right. But all of them? All the time? Nah. The Conjuring had zero creepy smiles and was so much creepier. But I digress.

Everything in the film looked good. Most of the effects and makeup were very well done, as usual. It’s a little gorier than the previous entries, but it was done well. I even had to look away once (I’m not a huge fan of gore, it tends to make me cringe and look away). The acting was all good, but it has been consistently good for these films, so I wasn’t too surprised there. There were a few good, creepy set pieces, but unfortunately most of them ended with a “graaaahhhh!” jumpscare (cue over-dramatic musical sting here).

So do I recommend it? Yes? I guess? If you loved the series as I do, you’ll likely have a good time with it. It’s definitely not bad, just a little underwhelming as a final curtain film. I give it a decent 7/10.

M.

This film is currently for rent or purchase on YouTube and Prime.

Nov 21 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Abraham’s Boys

Abraham’s Boys (2025)
Titus Welliver, Brady Hepner, Judah Mackey, Jocelin Donahue, Aurora Perrineau, and Jonathan Howard
Directed by: Natasha Kermani

This one popped up on Shudder the other day, and being the vampire fanatic that I am, I was excited and put it on as soon as I had time. And… oh boy.

Years after defeating Dracula, Abraham Van Helsing and his wife Mina are raising their 2 sons on a seculded ranch. After finding a woman locked up under the house, the boys are told that the evil has followed them, and the monsters must be erradicated. But who’s the real monster?

SPOILERS INCOMING

Now listen. The concept is amazing. 10/10. It’s based on a story written by Joe Hill, so I’m not overly surprised. But the execution… eh. I’ll start with the acting, which ranged from mediocre to laughably bad. I don’t like to harp on child actors, cause it’s a tough gig, but man. There are good child actors out there. The movie looked decent. They got a suitably creepy old house to film in (not sure if it’s “new old” or “old old”), and the dusty, desolate landscape just adds to the ambiance they were going for.

The idea that Van Helsing is simply a murderer that tricked people into thinking there were real vampires is actually really solid. I guessed it from the beginning of the film, but that’s because I’ve seen movies before. I know how they work (most of the time. I still get surprised every so often.) I tried to track down the source material, but could not find it for the life of me. Should anybody read this and knows where to find it, please let me know. The pacing was all over the place, sometimes so slow that you wonder if anything is happening at all, and other times almost frenetic with its movements. I’m not sure what they were going for, but whatever it was, they failed.

So do I recommend it? Eh. Not really. Unless you’re a diehard fan of vampires. But then again, there were no vampires in this vampire movie. Vampire adjacent? Yeah, that’s it. 5/10

M.

This film is currently on Shudder.

Nov 16 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Nosferatu

Nosferatu (2024)
Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Willem Dafoe, Ralph Ineson, and Emma Corrin
Directed by: Robert Eggers

So, I’ve been meaning to write about this one since I saw it in the cinema when it came out. But I’ve been really bad at blogging these days, so I never got around to it. I’m trying to break the cycle now, so here it is.

Newly-wed Ellen is haunted by an evil vampire who is infatuated with her. When her husband goes to the vampire’s castle to settle the agreement of buying a new house in Germany, he becomes a prisoner while the vampire is free to pursue Ellen.

I went into this very hesitantly. Nosferatu (1922) is, of course, a classic, and I absolutely adore Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992). I didn’t think that this movie would show me anything new while remaining faithful to the source material. I also am not a huge fan of Robert Eggers as a director. Well, I was very wrong. I absolutely adored this film. At 2 hours and 12 minutes, it’s quite long for a horror film, but it didn’t feel long to me. I found the pacing, while, yes, a little slow, perfect, and I was never bored. Didn’t look at my watch once!

I know that Eggers is a stickler for detail, and wants everything in a period piece to be perfect. So I was not surprised at how beautiful the film is. The costuming, the sets, the setting, everything was on point. The one tiny nit-pick I have is why do the characters all have British accents when this film takes place in Germany. I was quite surprised at that. But otherwise this film is near perfect. Bill Skarsgård already proved that he was able to portray a monster in It, and he does it again here. He absolutely oozes evil from every pore. And I was rather surprised at Lily-Rose Depp. I honestly didn’t think much of her besides the fact that she’s Johnny’s daughter (nepo-baby!!). But she embraced this role whole-heartedly and really gave it her all. She was wonderful. The rest of the main cast I already knew were going to be great.

So do I recommend it? Absolutely, with a caveat. If you’re (very) easily bored, or are not a fan of horror, then no. I tried to show this to my mom and she made it only a quarter of the way through, saying it’s boring. But me? 9.5/10. Very nearly perfect!

M.

This film is currently streaming on Prime.

Nov 13 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Frankenstein

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Frankenstein (2025)
Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, Christoph Waltz, Mia Goth, Felix Kammerer, David Bradley, Lars Mikkelsen, and Charles Dance
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

So, for me, del Toro films are hit and miss. They’re always a visual treat, but sometimes the story just falls a little flat for me. So I didn’t know what to expect when I saw that he was remaking Frankenstein, a story that’s been done so many times already. But believe me, this one is worth the watch.

After losing his mother as a child, young Victor vows to conquer death. He follows in his father’s footsteps, and becomes a brilliant surgeon. He is approached by a man who offers to fund his research, and bring a man back to life.

This film is, of course, sumptuous and beautiful. Every little detail is perfect, the costumes, the locations, everything. Oh! And the makeup! The Creature is stunning! I saw in an interview that the full body application took 11 hours. Can you imagine?? And then the actor has to work all day! When does he sleep? But I digress… Big props to makeup artist Mike Hill and his team, wonderful work!

The film feels like a fairy tale, albeit a dark one. It’s a little gory at times, but never so much that it made me ill (except for the scene with some wolves, I literally cringed and tried to push myself into the couch. I know they weren’t real animals, but I still wish that wasn’t in there, or at least not so graphic). The acting was all superb. Oscar Isaac was fantastic, if a little manic, as the arrogant Victor. Mia Goth was beautiful and full of nuance as Elizabeth. And Christoph Waltz was amazing, as usual. But the standout for me was Jacob Elordi. I was crazy surprised by his acting chops, I thought he was just another pretty boy actor who did a few teen films. Boy was I wrong! He’s a wonderful, very physical actor, who can say so much without saying a word. His performance as the Creature is so… I’m searching for another word besides fantastic, amazing, wonderful… he’s all of those things.

And then there’s the story. To be honest, I haven’t read Franenstein since I was a kid, and remember very little of the details, so I can’t vouch for the quality of the adaptation. But the film’s story is great. I was surprised to see that it started at what seemed the end of the story, but once Victor starts to tell his tale, it makes sense. I won’t say anything else about the story because I want people to see the film going in as blind as possible, like I did. I’d only seen the teaser trailer for it, that’s all.

So do I reccomend it? Yes, yes, and more yes. I think even if you don’t like horror in general, you’ll probably like this. It’s a 10/10 from me. A truly mesmerizing piece of film.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!

May 26 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Wolf Man

Wolf Man (2025)
Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger, Zac Chandler, and Benedict Hardie
Directed by: Leigh Whannell


So I’ve been wanting to see this since it came out, but due to all the negative reviews I’d seen about it, I was apprehensive about spending any money on it. But it’s now streaming on Prime, so I decided to jump in. And you know, I wouldn’t have been mad about spending a few bucks on it.

A family at a remote farmhouse is attacked by an unseen animal, and as the night stretches on, the father begins to transform into something unrecognizable.

I really don’t understand all the hate this film got. No, it’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s a good time. It has a few good, tense moments, and I actually quite enjoyed the POV shots changing between the family and the infected Blake. It’s a good idea that I don’t remember seeing before. The make-up effects were well done, even if the wolf design was slightly underwhelming. Christopher Abbott does a great job conveying a man who’s desperately trying to hold on to his humanity even as he feels it slipping away. Everyone was great, actually, except maybe Matilda Firth as daughter Ginger. She wasn’t as horrible as I’ve seen others accuse her of, but she wasn’t great. I don’t like being too hard on child actors, though. It’s a tough gig. The cinematography was stunning, as were the locales, but that happens when you film in New Zealand. I do wish they’d gone for a different ending, though. It felt very predictable and safe.

So if you’ve been on the fence about this one because of the reviews, I’d suggest just seeing it for yourself. You never can tell what you’re going to like based on what other people have thought. I know I definitely can’t. I often end up liking things others hated, or hating things others loved. This one gets a 7.5/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

May 8 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Coherence

Coherence (2013)
Emily Foxler, Nicholas Brendon, Maury Sterling, Elizabeth Gracen, Lorene Scafaria, Hugo Armstrong, Alex Manugian, and Lauren Maher
Directed by: James Ward Byrkit


So this film has been on my watch list for years. I’d always heard such good things about it that I really wanted to see it. So yesterday I finally took the plunge. And I have to say, I’m pretty disappointed.

Eight longtime friends come together for a dinner party on the night that a comet is passing overhead. What begins as a fun evening devolves into fear and paranoia as strange things start happening.

SPOILERS INCOMING

I had high hopes for this film and, to its credit, it has some great ideas. The comet seems to affect reality, splitting it into what is probably infinite possibilities. The friends come to realize that walking through a “dark space” outside will bring you to another reality where exact copies of themselves reside, with just some very slight differences. That was all great. But everything else… not so much.

The acting, first of all, feels weird, very forced. I guessed that maybe a lot of the dialog was improvised and, after looking it up, saw I was right. But it wasn’t seamless improv. The actors (none of whom I’d ever seen before save Nicholas Brendon who played Xander on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) seem to struggle with thinking of things to say, so it all sounded hollow. They also ended scenes very abruptly with hard cuts to black, which was very off-putting. The camera work was just plain bad, all weird angles and shakiness. And the ending was very underwhelming. They could have done so much with such an interesting idea, but they chose the low-hanging fruit.

I’ll give it a few points for an original idea, but I can’t give it more than a 5/10. Such a shame.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Prime.