Fishiest Queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race (Seasons 1 to 4)

Have no idea what a fishy queen is? Let me explain. A drag queen described as “fishy” is a drag queen who looks like a woman so much that she could easily be mistaken for the real thing. The ladies in this list are the fishiest queens from seasons 1 to 4 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. This is not to say that these were my favourite contestants on the show, just the girliest. A good half of my favourites aren’t going to be in this list because, while totally fierce, you can still tell there’s a man under all that makeup. So here they are, my fishy queens, in alphabetical order (cause I’m too lazy to take the time to rank them in order of fishiness :-p ).

 

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We unfortunately didn’t get to see much of Alisa, she was the first to be sent home in season 4. She’s incredibly beautiful, but unfortunately the judges weren’t wowed by her “post-apocalyptic couture”, and she got the boot. Too bad, I’d have liked to see more of her.

 

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Carmen is dumber than a sack of bricks, and I felt like smacking her around a few times, but she really is gorgeous. Her first runway look of season 3 almost literally took my breath away. How a boy got blessed with a body like that is crazy (and unfair!! hehe).

 

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One of my top 5 queens, Chad is a stunner. Put her side to side (in full drag) with Cher, and it’d be mighty hard to tell the two apart!

 

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At the beginning of the season she was a little rough around the edges, but after a little grooming from Ru and the judges, she became one of the fiercest of the season. She beautiful, and it’s very easy to forget she’s really a man.

 

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Little Kenya! What she lacked in height, she certainly made up for in beauty. Absolutely stunning, and so fishy that even out of drag it’s hard to tell that she’s a boy.

 

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Definitely not one of my favourite queens, but it’s undeniable that she’s fishy. She’s got very soft, feminine features, it’s just too bad that, in fierceness, she was just so… meh.

 

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Abrasive the moment she opens her mouth, it was hard to root for her to take the crown (not that I was anyways, but that’s not the point :-p ). But she’s definitely beautiful, there’s no denying that. She’s feminine even out of drag, so once in drag it’s almost impossible to tell that she’s a he.

 

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I didn’t particularly like Mariah, despite her fishiness. She was a little stand-offish and cold, and always looked slightly bored. She’s definitely a dude out of drag, but the makeup completely transforms her, making it very easy to mistake her for the real thing.

 

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Oh Phi Phi. I spent most of season 4 just wanting her to go away, but drama gets the ratings (lord only knows why, ugh), so I had to put up with her till the very last episode of the season. She’s not always fishy, especially when she “drags too much” (puts on too much makeup, which I didn’t even know was a thing in the drag world), but when she tones it down and really tries for that real girl look, she nails it.

 

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Another queen who’s not always fishy (especially when she’s got that 5 o’clock shadow showing), but when she gets her makeup and hair just right, you can hardly tell that she’s a he.

 

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As beautiful as she is, I’d completely forgotten about her by the time I started making this post. Being that forgettable is a big no-no when you’re trying to be any kind of star, but most especially for a drag performer. But if fishiness was the only qualification needed, she’d definitely have been in the top.

 

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Stacy was all kinds of awesome. Such a kind, soft person, she almost doesn’t belong in the drag world. While she may not be many people’s definition of beauty, she is definitely one of the fishiest queens in the history of the show. Even out of drag, even naked, she still looked like a woman.

 

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I could never decide if I liked Tatianna or not. She’s undeniably beautiful, even more so than most women (bitch!), but she could be so annoying. And bitchy! Oh my god, so bitchy! I suppose that’s what happens when you’re that gorgeous… :-p

 

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I was so looking forward to a season with this quirky, fun performer, but unfortunately she failed to impress the judges, and was sent home first. I really don’t understand why. Yes, her “christmas couture” was a little busy, but I really liked it. And she looked stunning.

 

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With her eccentric look, Yara was one of my favourites. She wasn’t always fishy, but when she got it right, she got it damn right!

 

And that’s my list! I’ll eventually get around to watching the later seasons, and I’ll do an updated version of this post when I do, and I’ll also do a post of my favourite queens, the ones I was rooting for. But, till then, bye bye!! 🙂

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Stigmata

Stigmata
(1999) Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa, Portia de Rossi, and Enrico Colantoni

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The critics hated this film, audiences were torn (it’s one of those love it or hate it types), and me? I was on the love it side, all the way. In fact, I loved it so much that I named one of my cats Frankie! hehe There isn’t anything I didn’t like about the film. The actors were great (not Daniel Day-Lewis or Meryl Streep great, but still very good), the story was interesting, the visuals were beautiful, and, to top it all off, it’s got a bitchin’ soundtrack, featuring Chumbawamba (no, not that song), Massive Attack, Björk and David Bowie, and with a score written in part by The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan. It’s a great movie with a great message. Plus, it’s got Gabriel Byrne playing a disturbingly sexy priest. He alone would have made the movie, so the fact that it’s awesome is just plain gravy, hehe. So, obviously, it gets a big ol’ 10/10 from me.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow
(1999) Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Walken

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I absolutely adore this film. This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous (as is his co-star Christina Ricci). I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this film, but I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was in the three figures. And my enjoyment of it has never faded. If you haven’t seen this and and are looking for an atmospheric horror flick, but don’t like a lot of splatter, then I reccomend this to you very highly. It walks that tightrope line of bringing some dark humour to the film, without making it silly. Harder to do than you might think, judging the number of really effective horror comedies out there (not that this is a comedy, but anyways..). If I could give it an 11, I would, but as it is, it gets 10/10.

This film is currently on Netflix. Enjoy!

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Frailty

Frailty
(2001)Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Matt O’Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Luke Askew and Powers Boothe

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I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first popped this film into the machine. I hadn’t seen a trailer and was just going by what was written on the box. I’m happy to report that it blew all of my expectations (or lack thereof) right out of the water. It was absolutely brilliant. Well written, incredibly acted, a wonderfully creepy story with a killer twist, before twists were a dime a dozen. If you haven’t seen this little gem, I highly reccomend it. It gets a 10/10 from me. Just wonderful.

This movie is currently on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Monsters University

Monsters University
(2013) Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Peter Sohn, Joel Murray, Sean Hayes, Dave Foley, Charlie Day, Alfred Molina, Nathan Fillion and Helen Mirren

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Definitely not as good as the first one, but I wasn’t really expecting it to be, since Monsters Inc is one of Pixar’s very best. But it was still very enjoyable, and has a few good laugh-out-loud scenes. My son and I had a very good time watching it, and it’s always a good sign when a film can keep both an adult and a child completely engrossed. A solid 8/10.

I’m pretty sure this film is on Netflix, so enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Maniac

Maniac
(2013) Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, Megan Duffy, Jan Broberg Felt, Joshua de la Garza, America Olivo, Liane Balaban, and Genevieve Alexandra

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The “see through the eyes of the killer” aspect was interesting, and well done, but unfortunately it was the only thing this picture had going for it. I spent the majority of my time humming and hawing. Elijah Wood was amazing, as usual, but I dunno. The film just didn’t grip me. I didn’t care about the characters, and, biggest turn off of all I guess, I just don’t really like these “violence for nothing” films. Which is a little strange, considering how much true crime stuff I watch, but in movies, I just really need a reason more than just insanity. So for me, it gets 3/10, and that’s cause I’m feeling generous, and I like Elijah Wood.

This movie is currently on Netflix. Watch at your own peril.

 

M.

Stephen King’s The Stand – Dream Cast

One of these days, this project is going to get off the ground, I know it will. But really, they’ve got to stop yanking our chains and get this ball rolling before all the directors on the planet attach and detach themselves from the project. David Yates (of Harry Potter fame) was originally set to direct, but he dropped out because he felt the story should be told as a mini-series on tv, not a movie. Then Ben Affleck signed on, and I was very happy with that. Because as crappy as he is as an actor, the man is brilliant behind the camera. He should stay there. That was in late 2011. When absolutely nothing moved forward by August 2013, Ben dropped out to play Batman (which made me and every other geek on the planet cringe horribly, I’m sure). Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart) then joined himself to the project, just to drop out a little while later over “creative differences”.

So while the studios are scrambling around trying to find someone to write and direct the thing, I’ve been thinking of the cast. Now I’m a big fan of the original mini-series, but even I can admit that not all the actors were very good. In fact a few of them downright stank. And the style of filming, of acting, dress, talk, music and everything else is very, very 90’s, so everything would need a good updating (Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man? may need a little tweeking :-p ).

So, while thinking of all this, I did what every person with way too much time on their hands would do: I made a list of the actors I would love to see in each of the roles (and a few extras, just in case my first choice is busy, hehehe).

 

STU REDMAN (originally played by Gary Sinise)

Stu isn’t described much beyond being a “quiet man from Texas”. King seems to like us to make our own images of what the characters look like by what they say and do. I liked Gary Sinise in the role, but something was off. I’m not sure what.

MY PICK: Timothy Olyphant
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Ok, so he’s much prettier than I’d ever imagined Stu being, but I’m sure Timothy could handle looking scruffy. Plus he’s good at accents, so I’m sure he’d pull off Stu’s creamy southern drawl well.

Other choices: Colin Farrell, Nathan Fillion or Josh Brolin.

 

RANDALL FLAGG (originally played by Jamey Sheridan)

Flagg is described as “He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall dead off telephone lines.” Flagg was one of the characters I didn’t like all that much. The actor did a good job with what he was given, but he came across as too humourous. Flagg is supposed to be fucking creepy in a scary way, not a funny way.

MY PICK: Viggo Mortensen
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Viggo’s a damn fine actor, and can be creepy as hell. Remember him in The Prophecy? I still get goosebumps.

Other choices: Karl Urban, Guy Pearce, or Willem Dafoe.

 

FRANNIE GOLDSMITH (originally played by Molly Ringwald)

Frannie is described as a pregnant, red-headed college student. She was my least favorite character in the mini-series. Molly Ringwald was so wrong for the role.

MY PICK: Emily Blunt
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She’s beautiful, and can actually act.

Other picks: Alyson Hannigan, Megan Good, or Ellen Page.

 

MOTHER ABIGAIL (originally played by Ruby Dee)

Mother Abigail is described as being a tiny, black, 108 year old woman (who still bakes her own bread). Ruby Dee did an amazing job, and I wouldn’t dream of seeing anyone else in the role.
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LARRY UNDERWOOD (originally played by Adam Storke)

Larry’s described as a young, cocky singer. Adam was great in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jared Leto
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Not only is he disgustingly beautiful, he’s got an amazing voice, and can really act. Bitch. I’m not digging his current Jesus thing he’s got going on right now (I much preferred the all dark, or black and red), but he’s still gorgeous. And he’s FINALLY getting the recognition he deserves (with both a Golden Globe and an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club). But anyways, I’m rambling here. The point is, he’d be perfect for this part. I’m sure he’d come up with a bitchin’ version of Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man?, hehehe.

Other picks: Orlando Bloom, Casey Affleck or Cillian Murphy.

 

HAROLD LAUDER (originally played by Corin Nemec)

Harold’s described as a geeky 16 year old at the start, but gradually becomes quite attractive as the book goes on. Corin Nemec did a good job acting Harold, but the look was so very wrong.

MY PICK: Jon Heder
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Ok, he might be a little old for the part. But so was Corin Nemec, so meh. I think he’d be so perfect for the part. He obviously does geeky well (Napoleon Dynamite anyone?) but I think he’s also really cute. He was downright adorable in Just Like Heaven.

Other picks: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Cera, or Ryan Gosling.

 

NADINE CROSS (originally played by Laura San Giacomo)

Nadine is described as a young, virginal, private school teacher. Laura San Giacomo looked like none of those things. This has got to be one of the worst casting decisions in history. And yes, I’m including Ben Affleck’s Batman. Seriously, it’s bad.

MY PICK: Natalie Portman
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She’s a wonderful actress, and great at descending into madness.

Other picks: Kat Dennings, Mila Kunis, or Genevieve Cortese (or is it Genevieve Padalecki now? Or Cortese-Padalecki? Whew, that would be a mouthful… Anyways, whatever, you know who I mean :-p )

 

NICK ANDROS (originally played by Rob Lowe)

Nick is described as being 22, beautiful, and deaf and dumb. Rob Lowe was awesome in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jackson Rathbone
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Doesn’t get much more beautiful than Jackson, who is easily the best thing in every film he’s been in. Just look at those eyeballs, ah! I could drown in those pools. He doesn’t always pick the best material (*cough* The Last Airbender *cough*), but when given the chance to shine, he does, very bright.

Other picks: Ben Barnes, Jensen Ackles, or Ian Somerhalder.

 

TOM CULLEN (originally played by Bill Fagerbakke)

Tom is described as a big man with mild to moderate mental retardation, of indeterminate age. Bill Fagerbakke did an amazing job as Tom, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to do the job. And since he’s of “indeterminate age”, it doesn’t matter that the actor aged.
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LLOYD HENREID (originally played by Miguel Ferrer)

Lloyd is described as a petty thief who ends up on a killing spree with his partner, Poke. Miguel Ferrer did a great job in the role.

MY PICK: David Duchovny
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He’s a great actor, and is good at playing skeezy roles. And really, we don’t see enough of David. I don’t watch his show, Californication, so I barely see him at all. I have to watch The X Files to get my Duchovny-fix, hehe.

Other picks: Stephen Moyer, James Spader, or Brad Pitt.

 

TRASHCAN MAN (originally played by Matt Frewer)

Trash is described as a schizophrenic pyromaniac. He wanders setting whole cities ablaze until he’s recruited by Flagg.

MY PICK: Jackie Earle Haley
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Creepy and crazy. Nuff said.

Other picks: Steve Buscemi, Woody Harrelson, or Gabriel Byrne.

 

GLEN BATEMAN (originally played by Ray Walston)

Glen is described as a retired sociology professor handicapped by arthritis.

MY PICK: Ian McKellan
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The obvious choice for the wise old man, I know, but hey. If it ain’t broke…

Other picks: Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, or Clint Eastwood.

 

JULIE LAWRY (originally played by Shawnee Smith)

Julie is described as an unstable, sex crazed teenager. Shawnee Smith was absolutely perfect in the role, and replacing her will be crazy hard, but it must be done. As beautiful as she still looks, she definitely doesn’t look like a teenager anymore.

MY PICK: Dakota Fanning
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She’s an amazing young actress. She’s got unbelievable range, especially for someone so young.

Other picks: Jennifer Lawrence, Jodelle Ferland, or Hayden Pantenierre.

 

There are many other characters in the book, but I’m tired now :p Maybe If I ever feel like a real big challenge, I’ll sit down with the book and make a list of the others. But, for now… The End 🙂

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Gravity

Gravity
(2013) Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, and Ed Harris

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Quite a good little film. Visually stunning and well acted. Based on the trailers, I wasn’t all that interested, I thought it looked pretty but boring. But then, after reading a few reviews, I changed my mind. And boy am I glad I did, it was quite the fun ride. Even the 3D was nice, and I generally dislike 3D. It’s a big task to ask an actor to act by him(her)self for more than half the film, but Sandra gave the performance of a lifetime. She’s never been more on top of her game than she is in this film. All in all, a good movie watching experience. A solid 8.5/10.

This movie isn’t on Netflix yet, but I imagine it’ll make it’s way there eventually. Till then you should really track it down and watch. Preferably on a huge screen! 😀

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring

The Conjuring
(2013) Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton and Joseph Bishara

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A little slow in some parts, this was nevertheless an excellent film. The acting, atmosphere and effects were all top notch, and the reliance on boo!scares were kept to a bare minimum. I don’t buy for a second that this is anywhere near to true, but it makes for a damned good film. There really isn’t anything else to say about this film, just that it’s great, and if you haven’t seen it, go! Go now! It gets 9.5/10, it’s darn near a perfect horror film.

I don’t think this film is currently on Netflix, but it’s well worth the price of a rental, or even the price of buying the dvd/blu-ray, so go track it down!

 

M.

The Alphabet Movie Challenge – A to M

I’ve seen a few of these movie challenges floating around the intarwebs, so I thought it’d be fun to do, so I picked one in the bunch and started my picture hunting. And since it’s so long, I decided to do it in two goes (cause I’m a giant lazy-ass). Without further ado, here’s A to M in my Alphabet Movie Challenge. Enjoy! 🙂

A
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I’m a big superhero movie fan, especially the X-Men. Actually Marvel in general. DC movies (with the obvious exception of The Dark Knight) are kinda dull. Despite his awesome powers, Superman is actually pretty boring, but that’s not the point here. I’ve loved all the X-Men films (Even The Last Stand, which everybody seems to have hated, I dunno, I loved it), so I’m really, really looking forward to this one. It should tide me over on superheros till Avengers 2 comes out next year.

B
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This book is one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s an amazing story, I can’t believe it hasn’t been turned into a film yet. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t think any of Robert R McCammon‘s books have been made into films. It’s such a shame, too, cause his books are mostly awesome and, in the right hands, would make amazing films. I wonder if it’s the author who just doesn’t want his books “messed up” by a film-maker…

C
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I don’t think I really need to explain this one. Robert Downey Jr is just simply the coolest cat on the planet, and I’d like to say howdy.

D
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I may be cheating a little here since this pairing already happened, but really, this is the best actor/director pairing that could ever happen. Joss Whedon‘s writing fits RDJ like a glove. I sincerely hope that they’ll have a long career of working together (without becoming as predictable and tired as Tim Burton and Johnny Depp).

E
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I decided to forego all the obvious classics, and reccomend something that may be a little less known. The Ghost and Mrs Muir is an absolutely lovely story about a young widow who moves into a new house to find that it’s haunted by a handsome, if a little rough around the edges, sailor. After the initial shock of finding a ghost in her house, the woman comes to care deeply for the ghost, and he her. If you haven’t seen this wonderful little film, I really reccomend it.

F
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It may not be the franchise that has the most films in it (there’s only three), but its quality is unmatched. I don’t really think I need to explain why. If you’re one of the three people on the planet who haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy, go, now. Schnell!!

G
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I like a lot of different genres, but my favourite by far is horror. Fantasy comes in a close second.

H
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So, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert isn’t really a “hidden” film, I’m sure a good number of people have seen it, but I can’t really think of anything else off the top of my head. But, still, I’m sure there’s a lot of people who haven’t seen this yet, and to them I say: shame on you!! hehe This film is so fun and so touching all at the same time. Or watch it simply to see Agent Smith (and Lord Elrond) in drag :-p

I
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So I don’t really have a movie that helped me through a tough time, or really impacted my life in a huge way or anything like that, so I had a bit of trouble picking a movie for this category. So I went all the way back to when I was a wee little thing, to the first time I saw The Lost Boys. My mom bought it on good ol’ VHS when it came out, I was about 7 years old. She hid it instead of putting it with my other movies, telling me it was too scary for me. So, of course, when she wasn’t home I hunted for it till I found it and popped it into the machine. And there began my life-long love affair with vampires. Did my mother ever catch me watching it, you ask? Well, yes, she did. But not before I’d watched it so many times that I could recite almost the whole film word for word. Exasperated at me, she nevertheless let me watch whatever I wanted from that moment on, since it obviously wasn’t giving me the nightmares she’d promised I’d get after watching.

J
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Another little cheat here, but really, can you blame me? It’s not like there’s only one film I ever watch when it’s raining. But Netflix is perfect for those rainy/lazy/sick/sleepy days. With tens of thousands of movies and shows to pick from, slacking off has never been easier! hehe

K
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There was absolutely no way that I was going to be able to choose a single film for this one. There are so many awesome films from my childhood, and I still watch them all. And I’ve got my own child now, and I’m enjoying watching him enjoying them now. They don’t make ’em like this any more. Such a shame.

L
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Obviously. I wouldn’t bring beer, but oh, to sit on the moon looking out at the Earth. Or to float around space, seeing all the majesty of the planets, stars and everything else in the universe. In a protective bubble, of course. I want to see the majesty, not have it murder me.

M
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I had to sit and think about this one. I binge watch stuff often, but rarely do I do it with movies. In fact, I always wait till the end of a season to watch the shows I like, so I can watch as many as I want, without the frustration of waiting a week (or more) to know what happens next. But every so often I’ll watch a few movies in a row, and when I do, it’ll invariably be one of these.

That’s it for now, hope you enjoyed!

Stay tuned for part two, N to Z, coming soon(ish), hehe. No, but really, I’ll try kick myself in the butt to get it done. I’m such a lazy bones…. :-p

M.