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Come one, come all!!
M.
Would You Rather
(2013) Brittany Snow, Jeffrey Combs, Enver Gjokaj, Sasha Grey, Eddie Steeples, Robin Lord Taylor, Charlie Hofheimer, Robb Wells, Jonny Coyne, Lawrence Gilliard Jr, John Heard
SPOILERS AHEAD
Definitely not for the faint of heart, this film really delivers on all fronts. The story is interesting, if simple, most of the acting is very good, and the villain is played by Jeffrey Combs, what more could you ask for? Checking Rotten Tomatoes, I was very surprised to see that it only garnered a score of 37% from the audience. I really liked it, and expected other horror fans to be in the same boat as me. Guess you never can tell. It was pretty predictable, but it didn’t take away any of my enjoyment of the film. And while there is obvious torture, it wasn’t done in such a way that it turns out to be just pure exploitation. It was pretty impressive how they managed that. The only thing that I had some trouble with the the completely abysmal ending. I wasn’t expecting a happy ending, a film like this shouldn’t have one anyways (it would simply undo everything that the film had been trying to accomplish in the first place), but having the sick brother commit suicide because he felt himself to be nothing but a burden hit just a little too close to home for me, and it upset me for a long time even after the movie was over. That plus Sasha Grey’s atrocious acting knocked the score down to a still very good 8/10.
This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!
M.
Les 7 Jours du Talion (7 Days)
(2010) Claude Legault, Rémy Girard, Martin Dubreuil, Fanny Mallette, Rose-Marie Coallier, Dominique Quesnel, Pascale Delhaes
I generally don’t watch Quebec movies. I don’t like the acting style, and everything (save one or two exceptions) I’ve watched from here, well, sucks. Same with books. But one day I happened to pick up a book by author Patrick Senécal, and from that moment I was hooked. This is one of his books turned into film, and since it was one of the roughest to read, I wasn’t sure I wanted to see it. But when I saw it was passing on TMN, I couldn’t help myself. I can’t say watching the film was an enjoyable experience. The acting was surprisingly good, they stuck almost exactly to the book, everything was great. And yet I’ll never watch it again. It was one of those films that was just really hard to watch. Unless you’re a major fan of the torture porn genre, in which case I imagine this will be nothing for you, you freak. 9/10.
This film isn’t currently on Netflix, but there is a full version on YouTube. I highly recommend it.
I also recommend the book, cause it’s awesome. Other Senécal books worth reading are Oniria, 5150 rue des Ormes, Aliss, and, especially, Sur le Seuil.
M.
First up, here’s Rob from over at MovieRob:
I am by far not the biggest fan of movies in the horror genre, but ever since I was a kid, I’ve enjoyed the “generic” stories of the “original” four; Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Wolfman and of course Dracula.
When this movie came out, I avoided it like the plague because I had heard so many crappy things about it that it just didn’t sound worthwhile to give it a watch.
…But then came Review Club
So I decided that worse comes to worse, I wasted 90 minutes on a movie (which happens now and again)
Instead, I found myself sucked in to the story, because it wasn’t a horror movie, it was instead a historical action/drama with a supernatural element to it.
I could empathize with the characters and although this isn’t a Braveheart or Gladiator, it was still a compelling movie about love, honor and protecting one’s family and loved ones.
This really is an interesting take on the Dracula myth and I liked how it all comes full circle at the end in order to open up the possibility of continuing the storyline.
It’s too bad that it seems that this will be the last of the series because the idea to reboot the “monster” franchises of days of old is a great idea.
7/10
Next up is Eric, from The IPC:
When I first saw the trailer for this, I blew it off as PG-13 CGI horseshit and never gave it another thought. Then I saw a couple of positive reviews from some writers I believe in and I was all “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” You know – I dropped to my knees and aimed my head at the sky and screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” much to the alarm of my co-workers. Eventually I composed myself and went on about my business and forgot that anything like that had ever happened and then Melanie started Movie Club and she took out her whip and snapped it a few times and said we had to watch this movie and I was all, knee dropping again and I screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” But, I am loyal and faithful to my friends so I ordered it up and it wasn’t too bad, actually. But I wasn’t really in love with this:
The opening and first third of the film was pretty good and I was buying into it. I thought it got a little dodgy when he killed 1000 men by himself but…. OK…. the rest of the thing wasn’t too bad – that part where someone falls off of the tower was pretty good but there were too many “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” moments for me. Would I recommend it? MEH. It’s better than I thought it would be, for sure, but it’s still a movie about how Dracula became Dracula filled with lots of CGI and melodrama. It’s a better vampire movie than that one Twilight movie I watched.
3 out 5 Men Screaming NOs
We continue with Abbi, from abbiosbiston:
Luke Evans plays Vlad, a fifteenth century Transylvanian prince who was once part of the Turkish army after being offered up by his father as a kind of hostage (like they do in Game of Thrones) as a child. During his rule his kingdom has been at peace with the Turks, mostly by paying them off. When the Turkish king, Mehmed (Dominic Cooper) – or I think he was the king anyway – decides he wants a thousand boys for his army, including Vlad’s son (again played by the kid who played Rickon Stark – he’s everywhere), Vlad cannot bring himself to acquiesce. He’s outmanned and outmatched though so he makes a deal with a vampire (Charles Dance) to receive his powers for three days. If Vlad can stay off the old claret for that time he’ll go back to normal if not he’ll be forever changed and the vampire will be released from the cave he’s imprisoned in. Vlad finds himself almost unbeatable but also tortured by an unslakeable thirst. Will he be able to resist and will it all be enough to hold off Mehmed’s horde?
So Luke Evans is super hot and Vlad has some pretty epic powers – infrared vision, sonic hearing, star gazing, he can turn into a fleet of bats… but that is about all that is good about this lacklustre film. The dialogue is stilted, most of the acting is wooden and there is zero character development. This movie is only 92 minutes long but it feels like it goes on forever, probably because it’s hard to give even a single fuck about any of the characters. I didn’t care about Vlad or his inspid wife or Rickon Stark and I half wished the Turks just mowed them down in the first 10 minutes. Oh and what was up with Dominic Cooper playing a Turk? He’s about as convincingly Turkish as I am, and it didn’t help that he’s been taking accent lessons from the Tom Hardy school of sounding not very Russian at all. What a load of batshit. 1/5
And lastly, here’s mine:
Mel’s 5 Second Review: Dracula Untold
(2014) Luke Evans, Dominic Cooper, Sarah Gadon, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance, Diarmaid Murtagh, Paul Kaye, William Houston, Noah Huntley, Ronan Vibert
This film was torn apart by the critics, getting the abysmal score of 23% on Rotten Tomatoes. The audience liked it a bit more, but still only gave it 59%, and only slightly better on IMDB, with a score of 6.4. And I truly don’t understand why. I thought it was great. No, it wasn’t Shakespeare, but really now, it wasn’t trying to be! Taken as what it is, a vampire action film, it succeeds very well. This origin story starts with the same base as a lot of the films, that Dracula was born from Vlad the Impaler, but everything else is rather new, and interesting. Most of the acting was quite good, the action scenes were fun (if a little over-CGI’d at times), and the characters were engaing enough to keep us caring about them. And yes, the two leads were plenty pleasant to look at. I’m a bit sad that then open end took us all the way into the present, I’d have liked another period piece as a sequel (if they do indeed decide to make one), but then again, Dracula films in the present are relatively few, so it’ll (hopefully) be something fresh. All in all, I thought this film was great fun, and it receives an equally great score of 8.5/10.
This film isn’t currently on Netflix, but is rentable on On Demand. Enjoy!
M.
And that’s it for this round! Join us again in 2 weeks for reviews of Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters! 😀
Annabelle
(2014) Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Alfre Woodard, Tony Amendola, Eric Ladin, Joseph Bishara
Ah, what a sad disappointment this was. Especially since The Conjuring was so good. The doll was massively creepy in that film, but only ugly in this one. Most of the actors were alright, but Annabelle Wallis was downright difficult to watch sometimes, emotionless save for a look on her face that looks like she’s desperately trying to remember her lines. The story was so generic that it almost hurt, and far from being creepy, that demon was just funny. The film had a few good, tense scenes, but on the whole, was mostly a yawn-fest. And it gets an equally dull score from me, a very meh 5/10. Avoid unless you really have a hard on for possessed dolls.
This film is not currently playing on Netflix.
M.
Thor: The Dark World
(2013) Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston, Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård, Anthony Hopkins, Jaimie Alexander, Idris Elba, Rene Russo
I hadn’t really wanted to see this film. Save a few exceptions, superhero sequels are notoriously bad, so I’ve skipped most of them in the recent past. But my sister and I are having a bit of a moviefest, and since I chose 2 in a row, I let her choose this one, and this is what she wanted. I didn’t want to, but begrudgingly accepted to put it on anyways. It was, in fact, a pretty good film. All the humour of the franchise is in there, and we laughed out loud a few times. Loki was delicious, as always, and even made me cry, the fucker. If there be one thing to say of the film, it’s that it was a smidge over-long, but aren’t they all? The end credits blurb informed that there will likely be many more movies, which will probably end up on my already too-long watch list. All in all, it did exactly what a superhero film is supposed to do, it amused and entertained me, and for that it gets a very good 8.5/10.
This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!
M.
The Last Exorcism Part 2
(2014) Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, Tarra Riggs, Muse Watson, David Jensen, Louis Herthum, Erica Michelle, E Roger Mitchell
So, I find myself not really having anything to say about this film. It wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great either. It picks up where the first one left off, with Nell escaping the woods and ending up in a hospital, then a troubled women’s home. A few months later, wouldn’t you know it, strange things start happening again. It’s different that the first one in the way that there isn’t really much possession going on, it’s more about the beast trying to get back in. The acting was decent, the writing decent, the locale decent, this film is all together decent, and ultimately forgettable. Despite it’s decentness, I can’t really recommend this film. It was just too… bland. And so it gets a bland score from me, 6/10.
I’m not sure if this film is on Netflix yet, I taped it off of TMN. If you’re interested enough to check it out, have at it.
M.
Allo all my netizen friends! Welcome to the first edition of Review Club, and hopefully not the last! No ado needed, lets get right to it.
Starring: Connor Paolo, Nick Damici, Kelly McGillis, Danielle Harris, Sean Nelson, Michael Cerveris, Bonnie Dennison
First up, the ever entertaining Eric, from The IPC.
STAKE LAND (2010)
The rendering of this review for Film Club kind of comes with some explanation. When I watched this, I absolutely hated every single piece of noise that came out of all of the character’s mouths. I hated the growly lead’s voice-noise, I hated the kid’s voice-over voice-noise, I hated the growling-noise that came from the vampires and I hated the main villain’s voice-noise. I hated it so much I wanted to start punching those noises. But I couldn’t because that would be insane, right? But, if I stop being an asshole and get over myself, I really enjoyed the scenery and the sets and the gore and my forever girlfriend Danielle Harris so I had to break out my Scales of Ma’at.
In one scale I placed a blackened heart, pulled from the body of a Canadian man who had tried to barter sex with my horse for four of his pulled, rotten teeth; this represented my hatred for the noises I heard. On the other scale I placed the feather of hawk who had just eaten one of my neighbor’s fucking incessantly barking chihuahuas; this represented Relief and Pleasure; symbolic of the visuals of the movie. I then waited patiently for the balance to measure and, when the sands had settled, I looked up my scales with this face:
Somehow the weight was divined evenly and I can give this a:
3 Canadian Celsius out of 5
P.S. This movie is about some apocalypse survivors trying to make their way to Canada while avoiding being devoured by vampires. Thus the Canadian references.
And now, my turn. Hopefully this will catch on more with time, hehe.
Mel’s 5 Second Review: Stake Land
This film fell into my “blind spot” almost as soon as it came out. I’ve been wanting to see it for years, but I never got around to it. And so when it was picked for my very first Review Club post, I kinda had no choice. And boy do I feel like a weenie now. I really liked it, more than I thought I would. It’s pretty slow, so for people who like all-action-all-the-time kinda films, I’d advise against seeing it, but I thought it was great. I’ve never really been a fan of the animalistic vamp (I like my vamps sexy and sophisticated), but they do a good job of it here. The acting was all pretty good, the only one who faltered here and there was Danielle Harris. She may be pretty, but she’s not a very good actress, which is likely why she’s never made it outside indie horror (sorry Eric :-p ). There was plenty of gore, but not so much so that it just became a bloodbath with little else. They also put a couple of truly horrifying scenes in there (one at the very beginning, one close to the end) that I was pretty surprised they had the balls to include. All in all, it was quite good, and get a score of 8/10 from me.
This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!
And that’s it! Join us next week for Beyond Clueless!
Solstice
(2008) Elisabeth Harnois, Shawn Ashmore, Amanda Seyfried, Hilarie Burton, Matt O’Leary, Tyler Hoechlin, R Lee Ermey, Jenna Hildebrand
SPOILERS AHEAD
Sigh… so it was the boyfriend. Just as I figured it would be from the beginning. They really need to move away from this cliché. It’s worn out its welcome. Years ago, it would have been the creepy old guy, but that’s changed too. Now the creepy old guy is invariably a nice guy who just had something awful happen to him to explain his weird behaviour. Case in point, this weird guy had a grand daughter go missing. Besides the warily predictable plot, the film isn’t bad. The acting is generally pretty good, the cast is pretty, and the location is beautiful. Although if I have to see Amanda Seyfried silently over-enunciate a word again I might have to punch her. Seriously, she did it no less than 6 times, “ohhkaayy”, “thaaank youu”, “reaaally?”. If I had a friend who constantly did that, we’d be having a few words :-p On the whole it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. It gets a decent 6.5/10 from me.
This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK.
M.