Tag Archives: Mel’s 5 Second Review

Apr 26 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: The Exorcist

The Exorcist (1971)
Written by: William Peter Blatty
Read by: William Peter Blatty

exorcist

(Questions from Audible’s reviews form)

What made the experience of listening to The Exorcist the most enjoyable?
I’d read the book already, years ago, so I already knew the story. What made this so special was the fact that it was an audiobook, so I got treated to demonic voices and stuff right in my ears, and not just as writing. It was scary enough to read, it got cranked all the way to 11 as an audiobook.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Exorcist?
The part that really stays with me is the part when Karras is listening to the tape of Regan’s voice played backwards and realizes that the gibberish she was speaking wasn’t gibberish at all, but english, spoken perfectly backwards. So very, very creepy.

Have you listened to any of William Peter Blatty and Eliana Shaskan ’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Nope, never have. I was rather impressed with Blatty’s performance, too. He really gave it his all.

If you could rename The Exorcist, what would you call it?
I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s such an iconic title, there’s no way I’d change it, even if I could.

Any additional comments?
There’s really not much else to say. It’s perfect. Just the right amount of thrills and even some gore, but still manages to not go over the top, as is so easy to do with this type of story. 10/10.

M.

Apr 15 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: The Origin and Evolution of Earth – From the Big Bang to the Future of Human Existence

The Origin and Evolution of Earth: From the Big Bang to the Future of Human Existence
Written by: Robert M Hazen
Read by: Robert M Hazen

Origin Evolution of Earth

 

(Questions from Audible’s reviews page)

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
I would definitely recommend this book to a friend. In fact I already have one in mind. A good half of the course was geology and elements and things like that and, while not my cup of tea, I have a friend who will love it.

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?
The parts I liked the most were the cosmology and astronomy lectures, which were mostly in the first half. Once he started in on the table of elements and geology, however, he kind of lost me.

What about Professor Robert M Hazen’s performance did you like?
He’s very articulate, with a clear voice. Definitely a great lecturer.

Was The Origin and Evolution of Earth worth the listening time?
The parts that I enjoyed, very much so. I skipped almost half the lectures, though. I guess I should read the descriptions more closely.

Any additional comments?
I’m definitely not giving this course 6.5/10 because it sucked. As I said, Dr Hazen is a great lecturer, and what I enjoyed of the course I really loved. I gave it only 6.5 cause geology and mineralogy aren’t my bag. But for those interested in those subjects, I definitely recommend this course.

M.

Apr 9 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Killer Legends

Killer Legends
(2014) Joshua Zeman, Rachel Mills

killer legends

A bit disappointed in this one. Made by the team who brought us Cropsey (which I’ve wanted to watch for forever, but just haven’t gotten around to it), it promised to be good. But the first thing I noticed was that the man, Joshua, seemed to be more interested in having his face on the camera than his guests. If he wasn’t in a particular frame, he’d actually lean forward so that he was. His feigned sadness was also a little grating, because it was very obviously fake. He’d stand at a murder sight, talk in a mournful voice, shuffle his feet, sigh, etc. The girl, Rachel, also did it, but to a much lesser degree. Joshua’s voice-over voice was also grating, much different from his normal talking voice, and slightly ridiculous.

Now that we’ve got all the bad aside, we can focus on the good. The subject matter was very interesting, the premise being that urban legends always come from some truth. They take four famous legends (The Hook Man, Killer Clowns, The Babysitter Killer, and Deadly Halloween Candy) and dig around to find real life cases that might have been the beginning of these legends. They travel to the towns where the murders happened, talk to the locals, and, if there are any left alive, people who were there when the crime happened. It was quite interesting. Despite the fact that I spent the entire film wanting to punch the guy in the face, I still give it a 7/10, because the content was very interesting. But dude, if ever you read this (which I doubt), here’s a little advice: Unless it’s an autobiography, the audience isn’t interested in seeing you. The focus should be on the subject of the documentary.

This film is currently playing on Netflix US and YouTube. Although I should probably warn you, there are crime scene photos. Pretty graphic too. So if real dead bodies scare the crap out of you, stay far, far away.

 

M.

Apr 8 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Deliver Us From Evil

Deliver Us From Evil
(2014) Eric Bana, Édgar Ramírez, Olivia Munn, Sean Harris, Lulu Wilson, Mike Houston, Olivia Horton, Chris Coy, Joel McHale, and Dorian Missick

Deliver-Us-from-Evil

What a great watch this was! I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy it, since great possession films are few and far between these days, but then I saw Scott Derrickson’s name, and I was already sold. I’ve only seen two of his films (The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Sinister), but they’re both incredible. And, to stay true to form in my eyes, this film was no less awesome. It was more tense than scary, but still incredibly well done. I imagine folks who scare easier than I do will find it much, much more frightening. The story was very interesting, just different enough to stay interesting throughout. It boasts the tagline “Inspired by actual events”, which to me means that there was a cop, his family was abducted by an unsub, and… well that’s it. I’m of the same opinion that Bana’s character has at the beginning: we don’t need demons, humanity does well enough on their own. The acting was mostly all top notch, the two leads were especially good. And the priest was almost disturbingly attractive (except when he was pulling on a cig, ick). So all in all, this was a pretty great piece of film, and gets an 8.5/10.

This film is not currently streaming on Netflix, but it is playing on TMN and On Demand. Enjoy!

M.

Mar 27 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: Behold the Mighty Dinosaur

Behold the Mighty Dinosaur
Written by: John Kricher
Read by: John Kricher

behold dino

(Questions from Audible’s reviews form)

Where does The Modern Scholar rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This was the first one I’ve read from this series, and if the rest are as good as this one, I’ll definitely be buying more!

What other book might you compare Behold the Mighty Dinosaur to and why?
I actually haven’t read any other “real” dinosaur books, so I can’t really compare. I’ve read Dinopedia and others like it, and I loved Jurassic Park (book and film), but this was my first dino text book.

Have you listened to any of the narrator’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Nope, this was my first of his, and I quite enjoyed it. It wasn’t perfect, he swallowed and smacked his lips pretty audibly and quite often, but other than that he was clear and engaging.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I did, actually! I love dinosaur stuff, but I wasn’t sure how I’d like a whole dino text book, but I really loved it. I kept telling my husband so, too. “Man, I love this book!” It even made me laugh a few times, Dr Kricher has a pretty good wit.

Any additional comments?
All in all, I’d DEFINITELY reccomend this text to anyone even remotely interested in dinosaurs. It was informative without being dry, a great listen (or a great read too, I imagine). I loved it so much that I read it all in just two sittings. I’m sad that Audible doesn’t have any more dino texts from Dr K, I’d have scooped them right up! I give it a superb 9.5/10 (the .5 taken away for that lip smacking :-p )

M.

Mar 25 2015

Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Game of Thrones, Season 4

Game of Thrones (2011 – present)
(Season 4 cast) Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, Lena Headey, Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Charles Dance, Isaac Hempstead Wright, Natalie Dormer, Iain Glen, Gwendoline Christie, Jack Gleeson, Rory McCann, Aidan Gillen, Sibel Kekilli, Liam Cunningham, Stephen Dillane, Rose Leslie, Pedro Pascal, Alfie Allen, Diana Rigg, Michiel Huisman, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Ian McElhinney, John Bradley, Ellie Kendrick, Iwan Rheon, Hannah Murray, Jerome Flynn, Indira Varma, Burn Gorman, Kate Dickie, Finn Jones, Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, and Conleth Hill (holy crap there are too many characters!! :-p )

GoT s4

So, I figured since season 5 is about to start, I should probably catch up on season 4 first. I’ve read all the books, so I wasn’t as gung-ho about keeping up with it as others seem to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love the show. Everything is absolutely perfect, the actors, the writing, the locations, perfect. But, as with all adapted stuff, the show has started to veer away more and more from the books. At first it was just little things, but now there seem to be whole story-lines missing or changed. And, as an avid lover of the books, it’s bumming me out a little.

So, my impressions so far. I’m only one episode in, but damn, did it start with a bang. One story-line they’re getting perfectly is Arya’s. She is suck a kick-ass, it’s almost ridiculous. I absolutely CAN NOT wait for when she gets to Braavos!! Tyrion is wonderful as usual, and Shae is breaking my heart already, since I know what’s coming (I could barely read the book through my tears!). I love Jaime and Brienne’s relationship, but I really don’t like how they’re tweaking his story so much. And yes, I’ve heard what happens after Joffrey’s death. That’s just… unacceptable. Disgusting. He may be a lot of things, but that, he’s not! *stomps foot* And Sansa… Well, Sansa is Sansa, isn’t she?

One episode down, nine to go. I’ll be back in nine hours..!! 😀

M.

Mar 23 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: A Brief History of Time

A Brief History of Time
Written by: Stephen Hawking
Read by: Michael Jackson

A_Brief_History_of_Time

(Questions from Aubible’s reviews form)

Is there anything you would change about this book?
The narrator for starters. And I’m not really sure what went wrong, but the last 4 or 5 chapters were just… kinda dull. He just went on and on and on… and on about black holes, and I just kinda zoned out. More than once.

What was your reaction to the ending?
By that point, I just wanted it to be over.

What three words best describe Michael Jackson’s performance?
Erratic, dry, dull.
He’d pause between words where there was clearly no comma or period, or then he’d zip through lines like his life depended on his reading as fast as he could. He even did some ahhs and ums, which really now, is a big no-no when recording audiobooks. And his voice just kinda droned on, made it very easy to zone out, or have my mind wander.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?
I’ve seen a lot of Stephen Hawking’s TV specials, like Into the Universe and Grand Design, and I absolutely loved them. If he were to make this book into a show like that, I’d certainly be interested in seeing it.

Any additional comments?
I give it 7/10 because it’s Stephen Hawking after all, and I’m a huge fan. But if his other books are narrated by this same guy, Michael Jackson, I’m afraid I won’t be listening to any more of them on Audible.

M.

Feb 8 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Quiet Ones

The Quiet Ones
(2014) Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke, Erin Richards, Rory Fleck-Byrne, and Laurie Calvert

quiet ones

I do love me a good haunting or possession story, so I was really looking forward to this film. So imagine my disappointment when I put this on and discovered it was one of the most boring possession films I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t scary at all, most of the characters are thoroughly unlikable jerks, and it just takes forever to get anywhere. It feels like a (bad) ripoff of Richard Matheson’s Hell House. Jared Harris is usually pretty good, but all I wanted to do is smack him upside the head (with a chair). And the constant smoking… ugh. I know it takes place in the 70’s, and it was a thing, but ugh. Even just seeing it onscreen disgusts me. I stopped the film about 25 minutes before it ended because I was tired and needed a nap, telling myself that I’d finish it some other time. Over a week later, and I still haven’t gotten around to it, nor do I feel the need to. Dull and pointless (and “based on a true story”, yeah right), it barely merits the 3/10 I gave it.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK, and is also on YouTube. But don’t say I didn’t warn you :-p

M.

Feb 4 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Dark

The Dark
(2005) Sean Bean, Maria Bello, Sophie Stuckey, Maurice Roëves, and Abigail Stone

dark

I actually had this one listed as “not interested” on Netflix. With the vague and uninteresting synopsis and the god-awful cover art, I had no intention of watching it. The style of the cover reminded me of those awful, older Italian horror films that some people love, lord knows why. But after reading Vinnie’s review, it actually sounded good, so I decided to go ahead and give it a try. And I have to say, I’m glad I did. It’s a strange little film, to be sure, and it took me a little while to know if I liked it or not, but in the end, I did. The acting is mostly good, except for the beginning of the film. I’m not sure what was going on, but everything for the first 5 minutes or so is awful. Really awful. In fact I almost turned the film off. But once Sean Bean appeared onscreen, it’s like the others realized they had to up their game around him. The basis of the film surrounds an old Welsh legend, something I’d never even heard of before, so it was fun to have no idea what was going on for a long time. It was more tense than scary, though, I’d have liked the fear factor to be upped a little. The ending was surprising and pretty awful. Not awful like bad, but awful as in abysmal. Not many movies these days go all out for such a dark end. It was also a little confusing, and seemed to get lost for a while, but really, that’s the only bad thing I have to say about this film. It gets a very good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK. Enjoy! 🙂

M.

Feb 3 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: At the Devil’s Door

At the Devil’s Door (also known as Home)
(2014) Catalina Sandino Moreno, Naya Rivera, Ashley Rickards, Mark Steger, and Ava Acres

at-the-devils-door

Pleasantly surprised by this one. I was just flipping through Netflix the other night, not sure what to watch, when on a whim, I decided to try this one out. I almost turned it off as soon as it started, but I’m glad I didn’t. The acting was surprisingly good for such an unknown cast and small production, which sadly doesn’t happen much. The story was quite interesting, and every time I thought I had it all figured out, something different happened. That also sadly doesn’t happen often. It’s a little slow at times, but the wait is well worth it, with some nice, creepy things a-happening. It’s not very scary as a whole, but there are some good suspenseful moments nonetheless. All in all, it gets a good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

M.