Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Innkeepers

The Innkeepers
(2011) Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, Kelly McGinnis, George Riddle and Brenda Cooney

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Nice quiet horror film. Takes it’s time getting anywhere, but the ride is fun nonetheless. The acting is much better than I’d expected for such a low-budget indie film, and that was a pleasant surprise. I was hoping that it’d be scarier than it was (my heart-rate barely changed, hehe), but it was still a pleasant watch. I give it a solid 7/10.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Fourth Kind

The Fourth Kind
(2009) Milla Jovovich, Will Patton, Hakeem Kae-Kazim, Corey Johnson, Enzo Cilenti, Elias Koteas, Eric Loren, Mia McKenna-Bruce, Raphaël Coleman and Charlotte Milchard

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So, this is a pretty big meh. Had a few good scenes, but nothing spectacular. Also the “actual footage” thing only works when said footage is real. The “real” Dr Taylor is played by an actress named Charlotte Milchard. That kinda kills the whole credibility thing. I had heard that the film was really scary, so my expectations were pretty high when I started watching it. Needless to say, my expectations were nowhere near met. A very disappointing 5/10.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix, if you don’t wanna take my word for it.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Stigmata

Stigmata
(1999) Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Thomas Kopache, Rade Serbedzija, Dick Latessa, Portia de Rossi, and Enrico Colantoni

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The critics hated this film, audiences were torn (it’s one of those love it or hate it types), and me? I was on the love it side, all the way. In fact, I loved it so much that I named one of my cats Frankie! hehe There isn’t anything I didn’t like about the film. The actors were great (not Daniel Day-Lewis or Meryl Streep great, but still very good), the story was interesting, the visuals were beautiful, and, to top it all off, it’s got a bitchin’ soundtrack, featuring Chumbawamba (no, not that song), Massive Attack, Björk and David Bowie, and with a score written in part by The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan. It’s a great movie with a great message. Plus, it’s got Gabriel Byrne playing a disturbingly sexy priest. He alone would have made the movie, so the fact that it’s awesome is just plain gravy, hehe. So, obviously, it gets a big ol’ 10/10 from me.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow
(1999) Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Jeffrey Jones, Casper van Dien, Richard Griffiths, Michael Gough, Marc Pickering, Lisa Marie, Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Walken

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I absolutely adore this film. This is Burton and Depp at their very best, when the creative mojo was still mojoing, and they were still making terrific pictures together. The scenery is dark and brooding, the characters are all captivating, and Johnny Depp is, of course, absolutely gorgeous (as is his co-star Christina Ricci). I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this film, but I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was in the three figures. And my enjoyment of it has never faded. If you haven’t seen this and and are looking for an atmospheric horror flick, but don’t like a lot of splatter, then I reccomend this to you very highly. It walks that tightrope line of bringing some dark humour to the film, without making it silly. Harder to do than you might think, judging the number of really effective horror comedies out there (not that this is a comedy, but anyways..). If I could give it an 11, I would, but as it is, it gets 10/10.

This film is currently on Netflix. Enjoy!

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Frailty

Frailty
(2001)Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Matt O’Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Luke Askew and Powers Boothe

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I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first popped this film into the machine. I hadn’t seen a trailer and was just going by what was written on the box. I’m happy to report that it blew all of my expectations (or lack thereof) right out of the water. It was absolutely brilliant. Well written, incredibly acted, a wonderfully creepy story with a killer twist, before twists were a dime a dozen. If you haven’t seen this little gem, I highly reccomend it. It gets a 10/10 from me. Just wonderful.

This movie is currently on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Maniac

Maniac
(2013) Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, Megan Duffy, Jan Broberg Felt, Joshua de la Garza, America Olivo, Liane Balaban, and Genevieve Alexandra

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The “see through the eyes of the killer” aspect was interesting, and well done, but unfortunately it was the only thing this picture had going for it. I spent the majority of my time humming and hawing. Elijah Wood was amazing, as usual, but I dunno. The film just didn’t grip me. I didn’t care about the characters, and, biggest turn off of all I guess, I just don’t really like these “violence for nothing” films. Which is a little strange, considering how much true crime stuff I watch, but in movies, I just really need a reason more than just insanity. So for me, it gets 3/10, and that’s cause I’m feeling generous, and I like Elijah Wood.

This movie is currently on Netflix. Watch at your own peril.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring

The Conjuring
(2013) Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton and Joseph Bishara

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A little slow in some parts, this was nevertheless an excellent film. The acting, atmosphere and effects were all top notch, and the reliance on boo!scares were kept to a bare minimum. I don’t buy for a second that this is anywhere near to true, but it makes for a damned good film. There really isn’t anything else to say about this film, just that it’s great, and if you haven’t seen it, go! Go now! It gets 9.5/10, it’s darn near a perfect horror film.

I don’t think this film is currently on Netflix, but it’s well worth the price of a rental, or even the price of buying the dvd/blu-ray, so go track it down!

 

M.

The Alphabet Movie Challenge – A to M

I’ve seen a few of these movie challenges floating around the intarwebs, so I thought it’d be fun to do, so I picked one in the bunch and started my picture hunting. And since it’s so long, I decided to do it in two goes (cause I’m a giant lazy-ass). Without further ado, here’s A to M in my Alphabet Movie Challenge. Enjoy! 🙂

A
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I’m a big superhero movie fan, especially the X-Men. Actually Marvel in general. DC movies (with the obvious exception of The Dark Knight) are kinda dull. Despite his awesome powers, Superman is actually pretty boring, but that’s not the point here. I’ve loved all the X-Men films (Even The Last Stand, which everybody seems to have hated, I dunno, I loved it), so I’m really, really looking forward to this one. It should tide me over on superheros till Avengers 2 comes out next year.

B
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This book is one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s an amazing story, I can’t believe it hasn’t been turned into a film yet. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t think any of Robert R McCammon‘s books have been made into films. It’s such a shame, too, cause his books are mostly awesome and, in the right hands, would make amazing films. I wonder if it’s the author who just doesn’t want his books “messed up” by a film-maker…

C
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I don’t think I really need to explain this one. Robert Downey Jr is just simply the coolest cat on the planet, and I’d like to say howdy.

D
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I may be cheating a little here since this pairing already happened, but really, this is the best actor/director pairing that could ever happen. Joss Whedon‘s writing fits RDJ like a glove. I sincerely hope that they’ll have a long career of working together (without becoming as predictable and tired as Tim Burton and Johnny Depp).

E
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I decided to forego all the obvious classics, and reccomend something that may be a little less known. The Ghost and Mrs Muir is an absolutely lovely story about a young widow who moves into a new house to find that it’s haunted by a handsome, if a little rough around the edges, sailor. After the initial shock of finding a ghost in her house, the woman comes to care deeply for the ghost, and he her. If you haven’t seen this wonderful little film, I really reccomend it.

F
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It may not be the franchise that has the most films in it (there’s only three), but its quality is unmatched. I don’t really think I need to explain why. If you’re one of the three people on the planet who haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy, go, now. Schnell!!

G
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I like a lot of different genres, but my favourite by far is horror. Fantasy comes in a close second.

H
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So, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert isn’t really a “hidden” film, I’m sure a good number of people have seen it, but I can’t really think of anything else off the top of my head. But, still, I’m sure there’s a lot of people who haven’t seen this yet, and to them I say: shame on you!! hehe This film is so fun and so touching all at the same time. Or watch it simply to see Agent Smith (and Lord Elrond) in drag :-p

I
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So I don’t really have a movie that helped me through a tough time, or really impacted my life in a huge way or anything like that, so I had a bit of trouble picking a movie for this category. So I went all the way back to when I was a wee little thing, to the first time I saw The Lost Boys. My mom bought it on good ol’ VHS when it came out, I was about 7 years old. She hid it instead of putting it with my other movies, telling me it was too scary for me. So, of course, when she wasn’t home I hunted for it till I found it and popped it into the machine. And there began my life-long love affair with vampires. Did my mother ever catch me watching it, you ask? Well, yes, she did. But not before I’d watched it so many times that I could recite almost the whole film word for word. Exasperated at me, she nevertheless let me watch whatever I wanted from that moment on, since it obviously wasn’t giving me the nightmares she’d promised I’d get after watching.

J
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Another little cheat here, but really, can you blame me? It’s not like there’s only one film I ever watch when it’s raining. But Netflix is perfect for those rainy/lazy/sick/sleepy days. With tens of thousands of movies and shows to pick from, slacking off has never been easier! hehe

K
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There was absolutely no way that I was going to be able to choose a single film for this one. There are so many awesome films from my childhood, and I still watch them all. And I’ve got my own child now, and I’m enjoying watching him enjoying them now. They don’t make ’em like this any more. Such a shame.

L
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Obviously. I wouldn’t bring beer, but oh, to sit on the moon looking out at the Earth. Or to float around space, seeing all the majesty of the planets, stars and everything else in the universe. In a protective bubble, of course. I want to see the majesty, not have it murder me.

M
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I had to sit and think about this one. I binge watch stuff often, but rarely do I do it with movies. In fact, I always wait till the end of a season to watch the shows I like, so I can watch as many as I want, without the frustration of waiting a week (or more) to know what happens next. But every so often I’ll watch a few movies in a row, and when I do, it’ll invariably be one of these.

That’s it for now, hope you enjoyed!

Stay tuned for part two, N to Z, coming soon(ish), hehe. No, but really, I’ll try kick myself in the butt to get it done. I’m such a lazy bones…. :-p

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: World War Z

World War Z
(2013) Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, Fana Mokoena, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Peter Capaldi, Pierfrancesco Favino, Ruth Negga, Abigail Hargrove and Fabrizio Zacharee Guido

WorldWarZ

Hollywood blockbuster or not, I truly enjoyed this film. It was fast paced, never dull (despite it’s 2 hour running time) and well acted. Zombie films aren’t generally my favorite genre, but since this (much like 2010’s The Crazies) isn’t “really” a zombie film, I guess that explains it. I also haven’t read the book yet (my to-read list is even longer than my to-watch list, if that’s even possible…), so I can’t comment on how different the film and book are. A lot of people seem to be unhappy with how it translated to the screen, that it was hardly even the same story, but since I went into it completely ignorant, maybe I enjoyed it more than I would have if I’d read the book? I don’t know. All I know is that much enjoyment was had on my part, and that’s the whole point of a film right, right? It gets a solid 9/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!

M.

ps – There seems to be more than one version of the film floating around. The copy I, err, “acquired” was not the same copy that was on the dvd my mother bought. My copy seemed to have a few extra scenes in it.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Dead Silence

Dead Silence
(2006) Ryan Kwanten, Donnie Wahlberg, Amber Valletta, Michael Fairman, Joan Heney, Judith Roberts, Bob Gunton and Julian Richings

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I bought this movie in the bargain bin for 5$. I didn’t actually think I’d enjoy it, seeing as how I’m terrified of dolls like this. However, it’s a surprisingly good movie. Made by the team who brought us Saw, Insidious, and The Conjuring, I should have known it would be scary. Scarier even than the dolls was the old woman. I couldn’t sleep that whole night until the sun came up. A sign of a job well done. A solid 7.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy 🙂

 

M.