Tag Archives: Clive Barker

Oct 14 2026

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hellraiser

Hellraiser (2022)
Odessa A’zion, Jamie Clayton, Adam Faison, Drew Starkey, Brandon Flynn, Aoife Hinds, Selina Lo, Hiam Abbass, Kit Clarke, Goran Visnjic
Directed by: David Bruckner

I had absolutely no intention of seeing this movie. I’m not a huge fan of Hellraiser in general (though I did love the story, The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker), and I’d also heard that it wasn’t great anyways. But while watching a YouTuber I like, he started talking about this movie and was saying how it had been unfairly judged and that it was a good time. It was on sale on Prime for 8 bucks so I decided, hey why not?

A young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites, a group of sadistic supernatural beings from another dimension.

So, first off, I wouldn’t call this a remake. The only similarity it has to the first film is the fact that there’s a puzzle box and Cenobites. I’d definitely call this a sequel. The actor who plays Colin isn’t great, but everyone else does fine work. Jamie Clayton, who took over the role of The Priest from Doug Bradley, did a really good job I think. No, she doesn’t have that domineering, bombastic voice that Bradley is so famous for, but she brought a malevolent stillness to the role that I actually think works better. The Cenobites in general felt more… dangerous? The story is also more interesting, more complex than the original’s. Maybe that’s what put a lot of the die-hard fans off the film. Well, that and the fact that The Priest is a woman. The NERVE! *rolls eyes*

And now for the real important part: the makeups. They were really, really well done. I’m not sure if there was any cgi used for certain things, and that’s a good thing. It was gory, but not to the point where I was put off. The end was a little more intense in that regard, but I managed. Excessive gore just makes me uncomfortable. I guess I just don’t get the appeal.

So, do I recommend it? Actually, I do. Only if you’re a fan of horror, though. Someone who’s not into horror will get absolutely nothing out of this. You also have to be ready for the fact that its usual camp is replaced by a bleak atmosphere. It definitely didn’t deserve to be panned the way it was, though. As for me, I give it a solid 7.5/10. I had fun with it.

M.

This movie isn’t streaming anywhere, but it is available for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and YouTube.

Nov 16 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hellbound – Hellraiser II

Hellbound: Hellraiser II
(1988) Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins, Kenneth Cranham, Imogen Boorman, Sean Chapman, William Hope, Barbie Wilde, and Doug Bradley

Hellbound-Hellraiser-II

I was sure I had seen this film ages ago, at around the same time that I saw the first one. But about 30 minutes in, after not recognizing anything, I realized that I had never seen it after all. And really, I wasn’t missing all that much. It wasn’t bad, it had some good plot devices and some cool practical effects, but man, what on earth were the film makers smoking?? From the moment Kirsty enters the Hell dimension, things start to get weird, and they just keep getting stranger as the film goes on. There’s a sadistic doctor who wants to see the Hell dimension, there’s a very Escher-like labyrinth, crazy looking Cenobytes, an incestuous uncle, and no one can seem to keep their skin on. Everything is very, err, moist. Those who like blood (and other fluids usually regulated to the inside of the body) will appreciate this. Those that don’t will likely spend a lot of the time with wrinkled noses, like I did. All in all, it wasn’t a complete waste of time, I don’t want my 97 minutes back, but I won’t ever be spending another 97 minutes on it. It gets a not bad 5.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. There’s also a version on YouTube, but it’s dubbed in Spanish.

M.

Jan 28 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Introduction and Hellraiser

So, I figured I’d try out a regular, daily post. But since I don’t want to spend hours on it every single day, I needed it to be something that I could do quickly, but would still be interesting. So I decided to review movies. Movies from any year, not just the new releases. It could be a film as old as film itself, or it could be a film that was released yesterday. The only rule is that it shouldn’t take you any longer than a minute to read, a minute or less. Hence the title: 5 Second Review. Of course I know a minute is longer than 5 seconds, but really, who needs to be so literal in life? For my first review, I’m going for a film that I’ve done nothing but bash since the first time saw it, more than 10 years ago; Hellraiser, based on the Clive Barker masterpiece, The Hellbound Heart.

Hellraiser
(1987) Ashley Laurence, Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Sean Chapman, Doug Bradley, Oliver Smith and Robert Hines

Image

Alright, so I have to admit it, Hellraiser is nowhere near as bad as I remember. That said, it’s still not the masterpiece everyone heralds it as. It’s, simply, a good movie. Although why they turned Kirsty into Larry’s daughter instead of being his ex is beyond me. It added nothing to the story. And why is he called Larry, anyways? His name was Rory. Also, I think they should have had the Cenobytes respect their bargain with Kirsty, as they did in the book, instead of trying to take her too. They may be demons, but they had their own sort of honour. Hopefully the remake will stick even closer to the book. In case you’ve never seen it, I do recommend it for any fans of the horror genre, and since I’m so nice, I found a full copy for you to watch. Aren’t I sweet?

And that’s today’s 5 Second Review. I’ll keep them coming every day from now on. Hope you enjoy, and stay tuned for more!

M.