Tag Archives: movies

Dec 22 2025

Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by: Brett Leonard
Year: 1992
Starring: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by: Gary Dauberman
Year: 2024
Starring: Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes: I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by: Fraser C Heston
Year: 1993
Starring: Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes: I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by: Mark Pavia
Year: 1997
Starring: Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by: Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring: Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by: Stanley Kubrick
Year: 1980
Starring: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes: I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by: Tom Holland
Year: 1996
Starring: Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes: Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by: Lewis Teague
Year: 1983
Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Year: 1979
Starring: David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes: I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by: John Carpenter
Year: 1983
Starring: Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes: I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by: Lawrence Kasdan
Year: 2003
Starring: Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes: This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by: Tom Holland
Year: 1995
Starring: Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes: Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by: John Power
Year: 1993
Starring: Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes: I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by: Brian De Palma
Year: 1976
Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes: Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by: Craig R Baxley
Year: 1999
Starring: Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes: I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by: David Cronenberg
Year: 1983
Starring: Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes: I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by: David Koepp
Year: 2004
Starring: Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes: Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by: Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year: 2019
Starring: Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes: It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by: Nikolaj Arcel
Year: 2017
Starring: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes: *Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by: Mick Garris
Year: 1997
Starring: Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes: I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Year: 1998
Starring: Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes: Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by: Mark L Lester
Year: 1984
Starring: Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes: Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by: George A Romero
Year: 1993
Starring: Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes: I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by: Mikael Salomon
Year: 2004
Starring: Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes: Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by: Andy Muschietti
Year: 2019
Starring: James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes: While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Year: 1986
Starring: Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes: I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Year: 1990
Starring: James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes: Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by: Frank Darabont
Year: 1999
Starring: Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes: An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by: Mikael Håfström
Year: 2007
Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes: I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by: Rob Savage
Year: 2023
Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes: I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by: Frank Darabont
Year: 2007
Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes: Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by: Daniel Attias
Year: 1985
Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes: I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by: Craig R Baxley
Year: 2002
Starring: Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes: Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by: Mary Lambert
Year: 1989
Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes: Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace
Year: 1990
Starring: Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes: I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by: Mick Garris
Year: 1994
Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes: Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by: Frank Darabont
Year: 1994
Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes: With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by: Andy Muschietti
Year: 2017
Starring: Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes: I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

May 26 2025

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Wolf Man

Wolf Man (2025)
Christopher Abbott, Julia Garner, Matilda Firth, Sam Jaeger, Zac Chandler, and Benedict Hardie
Directed by: Leigh Whannell


So I’ve been wanting to see this since it came out, but due to all the negative reviews I’d seen about it, I was apprehensive about spending any money on it. But it’s now streaming on Prime, so I decided to jump in. And you know, I wouldn’t have been mad about spending a few bucks on it.

A family at a remote farmhouse is attacked by an unseen animal, and as the night stretches on, the father begins to transform into something unrecognizable.

I really don’t understand all the hate this film got. No, it’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s a good time. It has a few good, tense moments, and I actually quite enjoyed the POV shots changing between the family and the infected Blake. It’s a good idea that I don’t remember seeing before. The make-up effects were well done, even if the wolf design was slightly underwhelming. Christopher Abbott does a great job conveying a man who’s desperately trying to hold on to his humanity even as he feels it slipping away. Everyone was great, actually, except maybe Matilda Firth as daughter Ginger. She wasn’t as horrible as I’ve seen others accuse her of, but she wasn’t great. I don’t like being too hard on child actors, though. It’s a tough gig. The cinematography was stunning, as were the locales, but that happens when you film in New Zealand. I do wish they’d gone for a different ending, though. It felt very predictable and safe.

So if you’ve been on the fence about this one because of the reviews, I’d suggest just seeing it for yourself. You never can tell what you’re going to like based on what other people have thought. I know I definitely can’t. I often end up liking things others hated, or hating things others loved. This one gets a 7.5/10 from me.

M.

This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

Dec 30 2019

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Eli

Eli (2019)
Charlie Shotwell, Kelly Reilly, Lili Taylor, Max Martini, Sadie Sink, Deneen Tyler, Katia Gomez
Directed by: Ciarán Foy

When I first saw the trailer for this on Netflix, I was immediately interested, and put it in my watchlist. And forgot about it, like so many others. Last night, while flipping through for something to watch, I saw this again, and decided to give it a shot. I’d seen mixed reviews about it, some people loved it, others hated it. But thankfully no one spoiled the ending for me, which was great, since it really is something. I was going to include spoilers in this review, but I’ve decided against it.

Eli starts out as a rather generic, but well done, haunted house flick. Eli is an 11 year old boy suffering from a debilitating auto-immune disease. He’s basically, as one character puts it, “allergic to the world”. He and his family drive cross country to the home/hospital of Dr Horn, an immunologist, who says she can cure him. But almost as soon as Eli and his family arrive, strange things begin to happen to Eli. He sees shadows, hears breathing, and, soon enough, starts to see ghost children. Dr Horn tries to assure him that it’s only hallucinations brought on by the treatments, but he’s having none of it.

All of the haunted house tropes are there, creepy ghosts, creepy music, parents that don’t believe the kids. But it was just interesting enough with the auto-immune disease that I kept watching, and boy am I glad I did. The final payoff is ridiculous. Ridiculous good, not ridiculous stupid. The acting is mostly good all around, with young Charlie Shotwell holding his own against the adults. I’d been looking for something really scary to watch last night, and while this isn’t, it’s still very much worth your time. A very good 8.5/10 from me.

As a side note, my boyfriend, who generally doesn’t like horror films, liked this one. So I should probably have given it a higher score, just for that, hehe.

M.

Nov 8 2019

Top 8 Onscreen Demons

Movies featuring demons are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring demons are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, they can be downright terrifying.

I’ll only be including films in which the demon has a physical body, so no possession films. I’ll do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

 

NUMBER EIGHT

 Dogma

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

Name: Azrael
From What?: Dogma
Played by: Jason Lee
Scary or sexy: Sexy-ish (he was kinda cute back in the day, hehe)
His Goal: To negate all of existence. Apparently hell is awful.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Silent Bob killed him with a golf club that had been blessed by a priest.

 

NUMBER SEVEN

HellBoy

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

Name: Hellboy
From What?: Hellboy
Played by: Ron Perlman
Scary or sexy: Neither, really. Liz digs it, though, hehe.
His Goal: To stop the incoming Apocalypse and save his lady love.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER SIX

Sinister

“The symbol is associated with a Pagan deity named Bughuul. He consumes the souls of human children. The ancient church believed that Bughuul actually lived in the images themselves and that they were gateways into his realm. Children exposed to these images were especially vulnerable to Bughuul’s abductions.”

Name: Bughuul
From What?: Sinister
Played by: Nick King
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: Infecting a child so that he/she kills their whole family, then he abducts the child.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FIVE

Constantine

“Word is you’re on your way down. Fresh meat. Finger lickin’ good.”

Name: Balthazar
From What?: Constantine
Played by: Gavin Rossdale
Scary or sexy: Sexy (at least until John melts his skin with holy water)
His Goal: The usual demon stuff, plus mess with John as much as he can
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is sent back to hell.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FOUR

Buffy

“You don’t know how to kill this thing?”
“I thought I might try violence.”

Name: Der Kindestod
From What?: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Played by: James Jude Courtney
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary
His Goal: Feeding on the life essence of children in a hospital.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Buffy killed it by snapping its neck.

 

NUMBER THREE

Angel

“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. That was… you were so… brave!”
“You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You’re stepping on my moment of manliness here.”
Name: Doyle
From What?: Angel
Played by: Glenn Quinn
Scary or sexy: Sexy (until the demon comes out)
His Goal: To help Angel save people using his visions from the “powers-that-be”.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He sacrifices himself to turn off a device that would kill a lot of humans (and I cried like a baby).

NUMBER TWO
Conjuring 2
“Your name gives me dominion over you, demon, and I do know your name! You are Valak! The defiler! The profane, the marquis of snakes! In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I condemn you back to hell!”

Name: Valak
From What?: The Conjuring 2 / The Nun
Played by: Bonnie Aarons
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary. Omg, did this thing give me the absolute heeb.
His Goal: To kill Ed Warren via a haunting he’s investigating in England.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is banished back to hell by Lorraine.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER ONE


“Easy, love. If you remember our time in Mesopotamia the way I do, you know I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

Name: Various, there are so many demons in this world, with Crowley being the most important.
From What?: Supernatural
Played by: Various, but Mark Sheppard plays Crowley
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: Again, various things. Crowley wants to be the King of Hell, Lilith wants to start Armageddon, etc.
Alive at the end?: Both
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?:  Those that are killed are usually done so by Sam or Dean with their special knife or gun.

And that’s it for the demons. Who (or what) are your favourites? let me know in the comments, and I’ll see you next time!

M.

Oct 30 2019

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Invoking

The Invoking (2013) (aka Sader Ridge)
Trin Miller, D’Angelo Midili, Brandon Anthony, Andi Norris, and Josh Truax

So I’m not entirely sure what I just watched. By its title alone, The Invoking sounds like a supernatural horror movie. Possession, witches, demons, something in that vein. There were none of those in the film. It was also super low budget, it looked like it was filmed on one of those little camcorders. The acting was mostly awful, with perhaps only D’Angelo’s character Eric, the weird (but strangely hot) caretaker, a bit better than the rest.

HERE BE SPOILERS

The story centres around Sam, a young university student who inherits a house from an aunt she never knew. As soon as she arrives, she starts having nightmares, both while awake and asleep. She sees visions of her friends but they don’t seem to be themselves. Then the caretaker starts offing the friends, using Sam’s nightmares to make it seem like they’re killing themselves / each other… maybe? I’m not sure. I pretty much got the gist, though, that Sam and Eric are siblings, and something horrible happened to them as children. Then it ends with a cop coming to the door asking about a few kids that went missing, and we see Sam’s name, aged 14 years. Eric says no, never seen them. Cop leaves, Eric goes back inside where Sam is, and they kiss. Ew? And that’s it. The end.

So what the hell happened? Here’s what I think. I think it’s one of those “it’s all in her head” things. Her “friends” are actually her father and other siblings (or father, mother, brother, I’m not sure), and Eric and Sam killed them when they were kids, as seen in Sam’s nightmares. It doesn’t explain the incest, but I think it explains everything else.

After all that, did I like it? Not really. Did I hate it? Not really. It’s one of those generic films that you see, shrug off, and forget 5 minutes after it’s done. It gets a very “meh” 4/10 from me.

M.

Sep 30 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Hunt for the I-5 Killer

The Hunt for the I-5 Killer
(2011) John Corbett, Sara Canning, Tygh Runyan, Andrew Wheeler, Matt Bellefleur, Mike Dopud, Kirsten Robek, Garry Chalk, Bo Derek

i5-killer

This movie has been on my pvr for probably over a year, so I finally decided to watch it. I was a little leery (ok, a lot leery) at first because it’s an IFC film, and those tend to be pretty awful, but I do love me a good serial killer film, so I decided to give it a go. And I was pleasantly surprised. It was so much better than I’d been expecting. The acting was pretty good all round, Corbett doing a great job as the harried detective in charge of the case, and the killer, who was surprising when we found out who he was, was suitably creepy. I’ll be curious now to read up on the case now (it was a true story), since at the end there was a disclaimer that said some things were fictionalized, to find out what actually happened. Maybe it wasn’t so bad in real life..? No, I guess that’s just me dreaming again. I’m really glad that the cops were finally able to nail the fucker who did it to the wall though. Sicko. All in all, a pretty entertaining true crime film. I just wish it wasn’t on IFC. I hate bloody commercials…

7.5/10

This film isn’t currently on Netflix, but if you can find it, it’s worth your time 🙂

M.

May 4 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Solstice

Solstice
(2008) Elisabeth Harnois, Shawn Ashmore, Amanda Seyfried, Hilarie Burton, Matt O’Leary, Tyler Hoechlin, R Lee Ermey, Jenna Hildebrand

solstice

SPOILERS AHEAD

Sigh… so it was the boyfriend. Just as I figured it would be from the beginning. They really need to move away from this cliché. It’s worn out its welcome. Years ago, it would have been the creepy old guy, but that’s changed too. Now the creepy old guy is invariably a nice guy who just had something awful happen to him to explain his weird behaviour. Case in point, this weird guy had a grand daughter go missing. Besides the warily predictable plot, the film isn’t bad. The acting is generally pretty good, the cast is pretty, and the location is beautiful. Although if I have to see Amanda Seyfried silently over-enunciate a word again I might have to punch her. Seriously, she did it no less than 6 times, “ohhkaayy”, “thaaank youu”, “reaaally?”. If I had a friend who constantly did that, we’d be having a few words :-p On the whole it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. It gets a decent 6.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK.

M.

Dec 18 2014

Top 10 Films of 2014

Well, it’s that time of year again, when you look back over the year’s films and pick out your favourites. Here are mine, in no particular order:

Uh…

Erm…

I, uh.. Oh here! Uh, no… Wait, I know… No… Hmm…

Well. Looks like I have 13 days to go watch 10 of this years movies. Time to grab the largest bowl of popcorn I can find, get lots of padding for my back and butt, and get a-watchin’!!

I’ll hopefully be back soon with the real list, hehe.

M.