Tag Archives: quick reviews

Apr 27 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Absentia

Absentia
(2011) Katie Parker, Courtney Bell, Dave Levine, Morgan Peter Brown, Justin Gordon, James Flanagan, Scott Graham and Doug Jones

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This film was surprisingly good, despite its obvious independent-film-ness. I was expecting crappy acting and crappy cinematography, but the story looked really interesting, and that’s usually enough for me (to a certain point of course. Some actors are so bad that no amount of good story can save the film, hehe). But I’m happy to report that the film exceeded my expectations. It wasn’t a masterpiece, and it did get a little laggy in a part or two, but on the whole it was a well-acted, well-shot very interesting story. The only negative thing I might have to say about it is that I wish there were more explanation as to what’s really going on. I loved the vagueness of what was going on at first, but eventually I was expecting an explanation for what the thing was, not just the “this is what it’s called” segment we got, which just felt slapped on and rushed, almost as if the writers themselves couldn’t figure out what was going on, and just decided to not include a reason in the story. But, despite all that, it still gets a solid score 8/10. Well done.

The film is currently on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Apr 24 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Walking with Dinosaurs

Walking with Dinosaurs
(2013) John Leguizamo, Justin Long, Tiya Sircar, Skyler Stone, Charlie Rowe, Angourie Rice and Karl Urban

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I read that the makers of the film had originally intended for it to be like the show, animation with a voice-over telling the story of how the dinos lived, but they decided that it would be a better idea to make it like a cartoon, and have the dinos talking. It wasn’t a good idea. I absolutely love the show, and while the animation of the film is beautiful, the product as a whole is lacking. I was expecting a real documentary film, like the shows were (Walking with Monsters, Dinosaurs, Beasts, Cavemen, in that order), and I was unfortunately sadly disappointed. The Disney-like story was cute, if a little over-long, and lost most of it’s steam coming into the 2nd half. My 4 year old son will probably like it, since he adores all things dinosaur, but I’d probably not reccomend it for adults, it may bore you. And if you’re a big fan of dinosaurs like me, it’ll disappoint because there’s hardly any real info in the film, it really is just a story. They could have replaced the dinosaurs with any other animal and it wouldn’t have changed the film one bit. I give it a 6/10, and really, that’s mostly for the animation.

This film is not on Netflix yet, but if you’re really interested in dinosaurs, I’d suggest watching the Walking with.. series instead (which, all 4 series’ combined, has 17 episodes, narrated by Kenneth Branagh), even though a lot of the info is now outdated, and the BBC’s newest dinosaur show, Planet Dinosaur, which has 6 episodes and is narrated by John Hurt. It’s awesome.

 

M.

Apr 20 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Frozen Ground

The Frozen Ground
(2013) Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, Radha Mitchell, Kevin Dunn, Kurt Fuller, 50 Cent and Jodi Lyn O’Keefe

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Pretty decent serial killer flick, if a little drawn out. The acting is a little sketchy at times, even from John Cusack, surprisingly, he’s usually so good, but never down-right bad, not enough to turn me off to the film. The fact that’s it’s a true story ups the ick factor, and I’d previously read about the case in one of my serial killer books. I’d have probably liked it more if were someone other than Nicolas Cage who was the lead, he’s not exactly the best actor out there. Little Vanessa Hudgens was doing s better than him, but anyways… :-p My score? 7/10, there’s an extra point in there just for seeing John Cusack as a serial killer.

The film is not currently on Netflix, but is well worth a watch if you can get a hold of it.

 

M.

Apr 14 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Sinister

Sinister
(2012) Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Fred Dalton Thompson, James Ransone, Michael Hall D’Addario, Clare Foley and Nick King

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If you haven’t watched this, I highly recommend you do. Right now. Just drop what you’re doing and watch it. It was really good. Well acted, well written, awesomely atmospheric. Us horror fans are blessed that an actor of Ethan Hawke’s caliber loves doing horror films. The story is simple enough: a true crime writer moves his family into a house where the previous occupants were savagely murdered, and wouldn’t you know it, strange things start happening. But before you write this off as “just another ghost story”, think again. Very creepy, I give it a solid 9/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy, and don’t turn out the lights!! hehe

 

M.

Apr 13 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Monster

Monster
(2003) Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, Bruce Dern, Scott Wilson, Lee Tergesen, Annie Corley, Bubba Baker and Pruitt Taylor Vince

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It’d be such a sweet love story if it wasn’t about a serial killer. And why on earth did they cast such beautiful actresses in the leads? Ok, they did a great job of making Charlize look ugly (although, even with the prosthetics and makeup, she’s still not as ugly as the real woman was, and that’s saying something), but Christina Ricci, even in that horrid haircut, is still gorgeous. The woman she’s portraying was over weight and mannish, not good looking at all. She’s also being played as a sweet, naive little girl (which she wasn’t), and Charlize played the killer as a sad, tragic figure instead of the monster she really was. 5.5/10, and that’s just for the stellar acting. I was actually pretty bored through most of the film.

This film is currently on Netflix. But if you’re interested in the real woman’s story, her A&E Bio and even her segment in season 2 of Investigation Discovery’s Deadly Women (also on Netflix) are more interesting (and more accurate) than this film. The following video is an interview with the real killer, one day before her execution. She’s the definition of “crazy bitch”.

 

M.

Apr 10 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: House at the End of the Street

House at the End of the Street
(2012) Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Elizabeth Shue, Gil Bellows, Eva Link, Nolan Gerard Funk, Jordan Hayes and Allie MacDonald

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Pretty darn good. A little slow in some parts, but never so much that I got bored. Acting was top notch (especially from Jennifer Lawrence, what a rising star she is!) and the story was really good. I wasn’t surprised by the twist, unfortunately, because I already kind of knew what was going to happen (god, I hate spoilers… grrr!), but I enjoyed it nonetheless. A solid 8.5/10.

This is currently on Netflix. Enjoy!! 🙂

 

M.

Apr 4 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Silent Hill, Revelation

Silent Hill, Revelation
(2012) Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Deborah Kara Unger, Radha Mitchell, Martin Donovan, Roberto Campanella and Malcolm McDowell

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Not as bad as I heard, but not great either. Acting was a little sloppy (even, surprisingly, from Kit Harington (aka Jon Snow), but I’m going to assume that it’s because he’s never had to mask his accent before, and he’s not very good at it). The story was decent, and the visuals were pretty amazing, but it lagged at times, and pretty badly. I caught myself being more interested in my fingernails once or twice, and that doesn’t bode well for a film’s quality. I give it a not bad 5.5/10.

This movie is currently on Netflix.

 

M.

Apr 3 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Excision

Excision
(2012) AnnaLynne McCord, Traci Lords, Ariel Winter, Roger Bart, Jeremy Sumpter, Malcolm McDowell, Marlee Matlin, Ray Wise, John Waters and Matthew Gray Gubler

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Where to even begin? Boy, this was a weird one. I’m not entirely sure I liked it, but it was interesting, if nothing else. The acting was amazing, even, surprisingly enough, from Traci Lords. It was one of those films that doesn’t really have a point, it’s just stuff happening until the character snaps, which, I guess in the end, is the whole point. It was a little laggy in some parts, a little dull in others, and a lot wtf. The main character’s fantasy sequences, while beautifully filmed with bright, bold colours, are so fucked up that you can’t help what wonder what exactly the film makers were on. But that last scene… it was so powerful and awful.. it took my breath away. I’d have given it a 5, but am bumping it up to 6/10, for that scene alone.

This film is not currently on Netflix, nor is there a full version on YouTube. But I did manage to find the short film, which was the starting point for the film. I haven’t watched it myself, but I heard it was a lot like the film, just 18 minutes long, instead of 75. I’m not sure I’d reccomend the film to people who’s tastes are like mine, but if you’re one of those people that likes disturbing films with intense imagery, definitely go and track the film down.

M.

Mar 29 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Breaking Dawn, Part 2

Breaking Dawn, Part 2
(2012) Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone. Kellan Lutz. Nikki Reed, Mackenzie Foy, Lee Pace, Billy Burke, Dakota Fanning, Michael Sheen, Chaske Spencer, Casey LaBow and Julia Jones

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I don’t see why people seem to have such a hard time with the Twilight films. No, it’s not Shakespeare, but it’s not meant to be. Is Bella a good role model for our teenage daughters? No, certainly not. Do I care? Not in the slightest. If every film that didn’t have good role models was taken off the shelves, them shelves would be empty. Taken as what it is, a teen vampire film, it’s fine and fun. The acting is a little sketchy at times, but really, it is in most teen films. The final film in the saga is the best of the lot (and not just because Lee Pace is in it, though that helps). The CGI kid growing up is a little creepy (ok, a lot creepy), but really that’s the worst thing I have to say about the movie. Nice end to a fun few films. 8.5/10.

None of the Twilight films are on Netflix, I don’t think, but you can surely find a copy on VoD or Apple TV. Give it a chance, it may surprise you.

 

M.

Mar 27 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Dark Skies

Dark Skies
(2013) Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kadan Rockett, JK Simmons, LJ Benet, Annie Thurman and Jake Washburn

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Slow in some parts, but overall, a pretty decent alien flick. Not very scary, but it still manages to be subtly creepy in some parts. You never see the aliens full on, only in shadows and out-of-focus behind or beside the actors, which I think, unless you’ve got HR Giger as your designer, is the best way to do it. The acting was pretty good, a little sketchy at times, but never downright bad. And the story manages to take the over-hashed abduction story and breathe some new life into it. I give it a well deserved 7/10.

The film isn’t currently on Netflix, and the only version I found on YouTube is this french version. But go ahead and track it down. It’s worth it.

M.