Tag Archives: Pinhead

Nov 16 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hellbound – Hellraiser II

Hellbound: Hellraiser II
(1988) Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins, Kenneth Cranham, Imogen Boorman, Sean Chapman, William Hope, Barbie Wilde, and Doug Bradley

Hellbound-Hellraiser-II

I was sure I had seen this film ages ago, at around the same time that I saw the first one. But about 30 minutes in, after not recognizing anything, I realized that I had never seen it after all. And really, I wasn’t missing all that much. It wasn’t bad, it had some good plot devices and some cool practical effects, but man, what on earth were the film makers smoking?? From the moment Kirsty enters the Hell dimension, things start to get weird, and they just keep getting stranger as the film goes on. There’s a sadistic doctor who wants to see the Hell dimension, there’s a very Escher-like labyrinth, crazy looking Cenobytes, an incestuous uncle, and no one can seem to keep their skin on. Everything is very, err, moist. Those who like blood (and other fluids usually regulated to the inside of the body) will appreciate this. Those that don’t will likely spend a lot of the time with wrinkled noses, like I did. All in all, it wasn’t a complete waste of time, I don’t want my 97 minutes back, but I won’t ever be spending another 97 minutes on it. It gets a not bad 5.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. There’s also a version on YouTube, but it’s dubbed in Spanish.

M.

Nov 14 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hellraiser – HellWorld

Hellraiser: HellWorld
(2005) Katheryn Winnick, Christopher Jacot, Lance Henriksen, Henry Cavill, Khary Payton, Anna Tolputt, Stelian Urian, and Doug Bradley

Hellraiser Hellworld

So, I’m not sure what exactly prompted me to watch this film. I’ve never really been a Hellraiser fan, and, until recently, I’ve always hated it, save for the fourth installment, Bloodline. But I decided to give the first film a try again after many years, and I found that it isn’t all that bad. It’s still not as great as a lot of people say, but it’s not bad. That said, I’ve seen one or two of the other sequels, number 3 and number 5, if I’m not mistaken, and they were god awful. Beyond god awful. So I really had no intention of ever watching another one. And yet, here I am. The good? It had a slightly more intriguing story, different from the “usual”. Lance Henriksen does a good, creepy job, as usual, although to be honest, he’s more than a little wasted in this picture. And there’s plenty of eye candy, including a very young Henry Cavill. The bad? Everything else. Almost all the actors are dreadfully bad, the characters make the stupidest decisions, and Pinhead, who should be one of the main players, is relegated to a few hazy scenes. It tries to play the “is it real, or isn’t it?” card, but it doesn’t manage very well. The ending was rather interesting, reminding me of Criminal Minds and Hannibal, but then they kinda ruined it by “ending” the film like four times. Just when you’re sure the credits are going to start rolling, there’s one more scene. Then another. And another. It was quite aggravating. All in all, it wasn’t completely awful, but it wasn’t very good, either. I give it a mediocre 4.5/10. And that’s mainly for the eye candy :-p

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy, at your own risk, hehe.

M.

Jan 28 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Introduction and Hellraiser

So, I figured I’d try out a regular, daily post. But since I don’t want to spend hours on it every single day, I needed it to be something that I could do quickly, but would still be interesting. So I decided to review movies. Movies from any year, not just the new releases. It could be a film as old as film itself, or it could be a film that was released yesterday. The only rule is that it shouldn’t take you any longer than a minute to read, a minute or less. Hence the title: 5 Second Review. Of course I know a minute is longer than 5 seconds, but really, who needs to be so literal in life? For my first review, I’m going for a film that I’ve done nothing but bash since the first time saw it, more than 10 years ago; Hellraiser, based on the Clive Barker masterpiece, The Hellbound Heart.

Hellraiser
(1987) Ashley Laurence, Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Sean Chapman, Doug Bradley, Oliver Smith and Robert Hines

Image

Alright, so I have to admit it, Hellraiser is nowhere near as bad as I remember. That said, it’s still not the masterpiece everyone heralds it as. It’s, simply, a good movie. Although why they turned Kirsty into Larry’s daughter instead of being his ex is beyond me. It added nothing to the story. And why is he called Larry, anyways? His name was Rory. Also, I think they should have had the Cenobytes respect their bargain with Kirsty, as they did in the book, instead of trying to take her too. They may be demons, but they had their own sort of honour. Hopefully the remake will stick even closer to the book. In case you’ve never seen it, I do recommend it for any fans of the horror genre, and since I’m so nice, I found a full copy for you to watch. Aren’t I sweet?

And that’s today’s 5 Second Review. I’ll keep them coming every day from now on. Hope you enjoy, and stay tuned for more!

M.