Tag Archives: movies

Apr 17 2014

Top 10 Cartoons for Adults

I love cartoons. I always have. I’m like a big kid sometimes. My son and I love to snuggle together to watch cartoons. He likes a lot of the same kinds of shows that I do. But then there are those cartoons that just aren’t made for kids, despite the fact that they’re animated. Some of them are so bloody, so violent, and sometimes they even have nudity and foul language. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but that doesn’t mean that I want my kid to watch a demon crawling it’s way out of hell to eat a naked girl. Not at 4 years old, hehe. Those kinds of cartoons are definitely made for adults. Some cartoons have jokes aimed at adults (like Shrek), but on the whole, the movie is still very kid friendly, and generally aimed at them. The cartoons in this list, however, were never intended for children at all. You’ll notice that there’s only one anime on this list, despite the fact that I could fill 10 lists, or more, with animes, since they’re often very violent. But I’ve never really been a fan of anime, I’ve only seen a handful of them, and even if the story is interesting, I just can’t seem to stay interested long enough to finish it. But anyways, I’m veering away from the topic at hand here. Let’s get this list going.

 

10 – Heavy Metal
(1981) Richard Romanus, Jackie Burroughs, John Candy, Don Francks, Eugene Levy, Susan Roman, Harold Ramis, Rodger Bumpass and Marilyn Lightstone

heavy metal

This film came out the year I was born, so obviously I didn’t see it right when It came out. I saw it sometime in my teens, I think, and only once, so I don’t remember much of it. But I do remember enjoying it, even if I don’t remember the details, and really, I can’t have a list of cartoons for adults without this one. It’s the one most people think of first when they hear “cartoons for adults”, so even if I’d never seen it, I’d still have to put it in, hehe.

 

9 – Rocko’s Modern Life
(1993-1996) Carlos Alazraqui, Tom Kenny, Charles Adler, Mr Lawrence and Linda Wallem

rocko's modern life

Rocko’s Modern Life is a crazy cartoon that was on YTV when I was a kid. The show wasn’t technically aimed at adults, but it’s so weird and a lot of the jokes are adult themed, so, even though I watched it as a kid, I may not want my own kid to watch it until he’s well into his teens. Re-watching it as an adult, I understood the “nudge nudge wink wink” of the Chokey Chicken, which, at 12 or 13 years old, flew right over my head. It’s kind of in the same vein as cartoons such as Ren & Stimpy and Beavis and Butthead, except that this one is actually funny and entertaining, and not just stupid and gross.

 

8 – Hellsing
(2001) Crispin Freeman, KT Gray, Victoria Harwood, Steven Brand, Ralph Lister, Michael Parker and JB Blanc

hellsing

As one of the very few animes I’ve even seen, never mind liked, it’s unsurprising that it’s about vampires. In fact, all the animes I like best are about vampires, or at least demons. I saw this when it first came out, so I don’t actually remember a whole lot of what was going on, but I do remember that it was bloody, violent and awesome. And that’s all I need to know :-p

 

7 – The Nightmare Before Christmas
(1993) Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, Ed Ivory, Susan McBride and Danny Elfman

nightmare before christmas

When I first saw this film as a kid, I’ve got to admit that I was less than impressed. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t quite like it either. But when I saw it again years later, I realized that, as an adult now, I was enjoying it much more then when I’d seen it when I was 12. So either my tastes changed over the years, or it really was an animated film aimed at a slightly older audience, hehe. It’s still not one of my absolute favourites, but quite enjoyable all the same.

 

6 – Invader Zim
(2001 – 2006) Richard Steven Horvitz, Andy Berman, Rosearik Rikki Simons, Melissa Fahn, Rodger Bumpass, Lucille Bliss, Mo Collins and Jhonen Vasquez

zim

From the incredibly twisted mind of Jhonen Vasquez (who also brought us such gems as Squee and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac), this insanely funny cartoon can only be described as exactly that: crazy. I saw it for the first time at a friend’s house party. We were all pretty wasted by the time the host decided to put this cartoon on, and I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life. And re-watching it again when I was sober proved that it really is good, and not just something to laugh at while drunk. Gir has to be one of the cutest and most hilarious little cartoons to ever hit the screen. He’s not stupid, he’s advanced!

 

5 – Cool World
(1992) Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt, Gabriel Byrne, Michele Abrams, Deirdre O’Connell, Charlie Adler, Carrie Hamilton and Maurice LaMarche

cool world

Until a few years ago, I was sure that this film was one of those classics that everyone loved, in the same vein as Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and other zany films. But over time of seeing it talked about online, I’ve come realize that there are a heck of a lot more people who hate this film than those that like it. And I don’t really understand why. I think it’s awesome! No, it’s not a “perfect” film, but I had lots of fun watching it, and that’s the whole point, right?

 

4 – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
(1988) Bob Hoskins, Charles Fleischer, Christopher Lloyd, Kathleen Turner, Joanna Cassidy, Stubby Kaye, Alan Tilvern, Lou Hirsch, Mae Questel and Mel Blanc

roger rabbit

And speak of the devil… This film wasn’t necessarily made for adults, and I’m sure many kids have seen it. But I remember being traumatized as a kid by Judge Doom’s final scene, and a few others, so I’m not entirely sure I’d allow my kid to see it till he’s a little older then I was at the time of my first viewing, which was probably about 8 or 9 years old. One thing I’ve always wondered about this film (always being after the internet was available in homes, lol) is why Kathleen Turner’s performance as Jessica Rabbit is uncredited. It’s not like it’s a cameo or bit part, she’s one of the main characters. I find that so weird.

 

3 – Twice Upon a Time
(1983) Lorenzo Music, Marshall Efron, Julie Payne, James Cranna, Hamilton Camp, Judith Kahan and Paul Frees

twice upon a time

Strange little film that just showed up in my house one day, and I have no idea where it came from. We were 12 people living at home at the time, so it really could have come from anywhere. I was almost the only one in the bunch who enjoyed it, though. It’s admittedly very strange, but so awesome at the same time. The drawings are “badly done” (I’m sure the animators of the film would call the style “creative” or “modern” or “avant garde” or some such nonsense, hehe), and there are a few instances of the action taking place in our world, when our heroes need something from our world to stop the bad guy from making the entire world one giant nightmare. If you haven’t seen it, and like things that are slightly strange, then I definitely reccomend this film. Plus, the lead character is voiced by Garfield (Lorenzo Music). Can’t get much cooler than that!

 

2 – Wizards
(1977) Bob Holt, Mark Hamill, Richard Romanus, Jesse Wells, Steve Gravers, David Proval, James R Connell and Susan Tyrell

wizards

Wow, I had no idea this film was so old. I saw it in my early teens, which was in the mid-90’s, so when my mom bought it, I guess I assumed it was more recent then that. It’s a really great (if sometimes brutal) little film that spreads the truth about war, and about how those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. In a post-apocalyptic world filled with mutants (some of which have gained magic), logic would dictate that they would no longer wage chemical and nuclear warfare, and yet…

 

1 – Rock & Rule
(1983) Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul LeMat, Catherine O’Hara, Catherine Gallant, Chris Wiggins, Martin Lavut, Samantha Langevin, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell and Iggy Pop

rock & rule

And finally, my favourite cartoon for adults is the greatly under-rated Rock & Rule. Another post-apocalyptic film, this one sees humans extinct, but the animals have mutated into human-like beings. So think Goofy and Mickey Mouse, just… sexy :-p . It’s a musical extravaganza that has an aging rock star kidnap a beautiful young singer when he finds out that her voice is the key to opening a portal and releasing malevolent demons. The music is great, too, performed by some of rock’s greatest bands: Blondie’s Deborah Harry, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, Earth Wind and Fire, and Cheap Trick. If you haven’t seen it yet, I reccomend it very much!

 

And so, that’s my list. Liked it? Agree? Disagree? Did I forget something? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

M.

Mar 7 2014

Monstrous Couples

So, I know I’m late. I was planning on doing this post on Valentine’s day, but then I didn’t and I kept putting it off, lazing about, but I’ve decided I’m in the mood to do it now, so better late than never, I suppose, hehe.

I can’t honestly say Valentine’s day is a huge thing for me. My husband will usually bring me flowers or chocolate, or maybe we’ll go out for dinner (or order in if I’m not well enough to go out), but that’s as far as it goes, and we don’t end up doing anything I’m not overly bothered about it. That’s not to say I don’t like romance. I do. But, generally speaking, what I may find romantic isn’t necessarily what any one else would. So I’ve decided to compile a list of, shall we say, unconventional romances, both from film and tv, and maybe even books. I’ll see how this post shapes out. I’ve only got a basic idea of what I’m doing here. The actual content I’m making up on the fly. I’m going to focus on non-humans. So, no matter how dysfunctionally romantic you are, if you’re all the way human, you won’t make the list. I may include some couples with one human in it. I haven’t decided yet. But I’ll try to not make the entire list vampires, ok? hehe. Let’s get this show on the road, and see who pops up. Obviously, they’re in no particular order. And, also obviously, there will be spoilers.

 

Spike and Drusilla, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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“Do you love my insides, the parts you can’t see?”
“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.”

Spike (aka William the Bloody) and Drusilla were introduced in Buffy‘s season 2 as an already established couple. They blew into town looking to raise a little hell (and find a cure for the ailing Dru). They may have been soulless, murderous monsters, but they loved each other more than life itself, and had been together for over 100 years when they arrived in Sunnydale. Unfortunately, things started to go south for the pair once Dru got her strength back, and Spike was temporarily incapacitated. With Angelus back on their side, Dru got taken in by his schemes, and once all the dust settled, we find out that she left him for good. Spike and his broken heart came limping back to Sunnydale, looking for pay back. He found a whole lot more than that, but that’s another story.

 

Mike and Celia, Monsters Inc

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“Me and you, you and me, both of us, together!!”

Just because you’re a monster, that doesn’t mean you have to be evil. There’s no better proof of this than with Mike and Celia, two of the cast of lovable monsters from the Pixar hit Monsters Inc. While getting ready for work, Mike reveals to his best friend, Sully, that “she’s the one!”, proving that even monsters can find love, no matter how green they are :-p After a horrifying evening at their favourite sushi place, Celia is ready to break things off with Mike for good, but once she realizes what’s going on, she forgives him everything immediately, and does everything she can to help. You get em, Googly Bear!

 

Chucky and Tiffany, Bride of Chucky / Seed of Chucky

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“Have you got a rubber?”
“Have I got a rubber? Tiff, look at me. I’m ALL rubber.”

I’m not a fan of the Chucky films, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t include these two in this list. While they both started out completely human, some weird mojo worked after death turned them both into creepy, living dolls. Who go on to have creepy doll sex, and Tiffany to give creepy doll birth to a creepy doll kid. The first Chucky film is the only one with any genuine (although very few) scares, once Tiffany came around (in film four, I think it was), any dignity the franchise had was long gone, and the gag was played for every cheap thrill it could. Still, they love each other (only lord knows why), and that’s why they’re here.

 

R and Julie, Warm Bodies

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“There’s a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend’s brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but…”

So I’m kinda stretching a little here, since R and Julie aren’t a couple (yet), but this definitely deserves a spot on this list anyways. R is a zombie, but after he eats the brain of her boyfriend, he gets his memories of Julie, including the romantic feelings. The moment he sees her, his dead heart starts to slowly beat, and the world will forever change (again) because of it. How many others can say their love helped heal the world?

 

Caleb and Mae, Near Dark

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“What’ll we do now?”
“Anything we want… to the end of time.”

When Mae first meets Caleb, all she’s interested in is getting a bite. But the two have an immediate connection, and she decides to turn him into a vampire, instead of just killing him. She takes him home to meet her “family”, where he’s given an ultimatum: make a kill within the week, or you’ll be the one on the menu. At first he decides to try their life style, but after realizing that he can’t kill, he and Mae run off together, with her family in hot pursuit. Come what may, Caleb and Mae will face it together, even if it means dying together.

 

Navarre and Isabeau, Ladyhawke

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“Do you know that hawks and wolves mate for life? The Bishop didn’t even leave us that… not even that.”

Stupidly romantic, Ladyhawke is one of the most under-rated fantasy films of all time. Navarre and Isabeau are deeply in love. But the Bishop of Aquila, evil and corrupt, lusts after her as well. When his advances are spurned, he turns to the dark arts, swearing that if he can’t have her, neither will Navarre. He curses them, her to be a hawk during the day and herself at night, he to be a wolf at night and himself during the day. Always together, forever apart. The curse can only be broken if the two of them stand before the Bishop, both in human form.

 

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun, The Mummy / The Mummy Returns

imhotep ancksunamun

 

“Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh’s high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh’s mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.”

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun are the ultimate example of “star-crossed lovers”. Being the Pharaoh’s priest, he was already forbidden to love, but to love the Pharaoh’s mistress on top of it all, you just know things will not end well for these two. To escape the Pharaoh’s clutches, the two conspire to kill him and run. Unfortunately, they got caught before they could flee. Anck-Su-Namun, confident that Imhotep will be able to resurrect her using the book of the dead, commits suicide instead of being caught by the guards. Imhotep was not so lucky, and was mummified alive, cursed for all eternity. When he’s finally able to get free of his box, his only thought is to get to the City of the Dead, Hamunaptra, where he will be able to resurrect his lover.

 

Dracula and Mina, Dracula (pick one, any one :-p )

dracula mina

 

“You are my love, and my life, always.”
“Then, I give you life eternal. Everlasting love. The power of the storm. And the beasts of the earth. Walk with me to be my loving wife, forever.”

So, of course this pair had to be on this list. It’s only the most romantic horror story of all time. I’ve chosen a picture and quote from the 1992 version, but really, any one will do. While some of the other details in the story change in each film, the core, Dracula and Mina’s love, is always the same. The small details may vary film to film, but Mina is generally the reincarnation of Dracula’s human love, from centuries ago, when he was still a human himself. When he travels to England to find her, she finds herself falling for him as well, despite the fact that she’s engaged to be married. Love transcends all, even time.

 

Eric and Shelly, The Crow

eric and shelly

 

“Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.”

Eric and Shelly were happy and in love, to be married on Halloween night. But, horrendously, the day before their wedding, their apartment is broken into by some dangerous and evil criminals, who rape Shelly and beat her to within an inch of her life, and, when Eric comes home to find the scene, they throw him out the window. He dies instantly on impact, but Shelly lingers in pain for 30 hours before finally succumbing. Exactly one year later, Eric Draven crawls out of his grave to deal vengeance out to those that killed him and Shelly. Once his task is complete, he collapses on Shelly’s grave, where she appears to take him home. As if the story wasn’t sad enough, actor Brandon Lee tragically died while filming the movie, when a gun being used on set was accidentally filled with real bullets instead of blanks.

 

HellBoy and Liz, HellBoy

hellboy liz

 

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

I suppose a more perfect match couldn’t be made. She’s pyrokinetic, and still has some troubles controlling it. Which means having a lover who won’t get burned when you accidentally lose your shit is a very good thing. He was brought over from Hell when he was just a baby, but thankfully he fell into the kind hands of young Broom, instead of the Nazis, and was raised to be good. Broom cares for a handful of “special” humanoids, and one of them is the fiery Liz, with whom HellBoy becomes instantly smitten. After fighting back Hell itself, they finally kiss, both literally engulfed in the flames of their passion.

Honourable mentions:
Vastra and Jenny, Doctor Who
Eric and Sookie, True Blood
Michael and Selene, Underworld
Shrek and Fiona, Shrek trilogy
Edward and Bella, Twilight series (I suppose I have to at least mention them)
Jake and Neytiri, Avatar
Sam and Molly, Ghost
Jack and Sally, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. Have a happy belated Valentines Day, all you romantic horror and fantasy fans out there!! ❤

M.

Jan 30 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Europa Report

Europa Report
(2013) Christian Camargo, Anamaria Marinca, Embeth Davitz, Karolina Wydra, Michael Nyqvist and Daniel Wu

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Quite good, much much better than I had been expecting, though I wasn’t expecting much. A few names I (barely) recognized helped me agree to watch it. It was well acted, tense and claustrophobic, with simple yet effective effects. Hopefully this is what we’ll find when we do finally make it to Europa. Just, you know, without all the death. I’m soooo excited about Europa, I hope I get to see it happen in my lifetime! But that’s a whole other discussion. Just go see the movie, hehe. It’s a solid 8/10.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy the ride!

 

M.

Nov 17 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 26 to 30

All right, this is it, the last day! Sorry for the delay, my few but loyal readers, I’ve had quite the busy past few days, and have been paying for it today (so worth it though), so I haven’t had time (or energy) to take out the ol’ laptop. But, as I’m feeling better now, we can finish up this list. So let’s get to it!!

 

Day 26 – Best Horror Movie for a Chicken: Hocus Pocus

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Ok, so technically, this isn’t really horror. But for a film that was clearly aimed at teens, it does have a surprising amount of horror-esque scenes, not to mention some of the subject matter. So for someone who is a real chicken, something like this would be perfect for them, not too scary, while still entertaining. Three witch sisters want to stay young and, err, “beautiful” forever. To do this they capture children, and suck the life-force right out of them (which we witness. See? Pretty dark already, for a kid’s movie). Standing in their way are three teens and a talking cat, who’s not really a cat, but a boy whom the witches cursed after killing his sister. One of my favorite Halloween films when I was a kid, and I still enjoy it today. If you find yourself almost peeing your pants in fright every time a horror movie is on, Hocus Pocus is the film for you. Wimp.

 

Day 27 – Horror Guilty Pleasure: The Covenant

the-covenant

I don’t really have a guilty pleasure, because that would suggest that I feel guilty about liking anything. Which I don’t. I like what I like, and I really don’t care what other people say about it. But, that said, I do know what it means. I chose The Covenant as my “guilty pleasure” because, in general, horror fans like to crap on this movie. It’s not really a very good movie. The acting is mostly sloppy, the story is a little dumb, the effects and dialogue are both cheezy, and yet I have a great time whenever I decide to watch it. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and yes, the actors are all pretty boys with rippling abs. The movie is basically just an excuse to ogle some man-beauty, and, really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

Day 28 – Horror Film I’d Like to See Remade: Night Watch

night watch

Night Watch, by Sergei Lukyanenko, is the first in a trilogy of Russian horror novels (Day Watch and Twilight Watch are the others). It was such an amazing book, with cool and interesting ideas, that I was intensely excited when I heard they were making a movie of it. It was to be a Russian production, but I didn’t care since I’ve evolved a very special feature called “reading subtitles”. You’d be surprised to know how few humans possess such a gift. But I digress. Finally, after months of waiting, it was available for purchase here, and I scooped that shit right up and prepared to have the time of my life. About halfway through the film, I couldn’t do it any more, and turned it off. Night Watch has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing, and I’ve seen a lot. The story was basically the same, but the acting… oh my god, the acting. It was horrible. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I was so disappointed, because the book is incredible. So if I were to choose any film to be remade, this would be it. I’m not loosing hope that they’ll do it eventually, and do it right this time *fingers crossed*

 

Day 29 – Worst Horror Film Ever: The ABC’s of Death

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This film is so awful, I don’t even want to talk about it. But since it’s the top film in this category, I have to. So I will. Briefly. The ABC’s of Death has a cool concept: 26 directors each get a letter of the alphabet and make their own short film about a word starting with that letter. It sounded interesting, and I was looking forward to watching it. But it wasn’t interesting, it was just bad. The kind of bad that makes your eyes hurt and your nose bleed. I sat through the whole thing (although I’ll admit that I skipped forward a few times), and no matter how many times I said to myself “well, this couldn’t possibly get any worse”, wouldn’t you know it, it got worse. Not a single of the segments is worth watching, and I feel violated and slightly nauseous for having to sit through that. And yet, apparently, it was popular enough to warrant a sequel. What the hell is wrong with you people??? Ugh…

 

Day 30 – All Time Favorite Horror Film: The Lost Boys

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So this is it, the film that could have gone into a few different categories, but I was saving the best for last. The Lost Boys has been my favourite film since I first saw it at the ripe old age of 7. My mother bought it on VHS and hid it, because it was “too scary”. I must have watched it at least a dozen times before she caught me. This film is everything a good vampire story needs to be. It’s got tense moments, funny moments, likeable characters (heroes and villains), not to mention a bitchin soundtrack. I was so in love with this movie that I could, starting from the beginning, recite the whole film. And it didn’t even have to be on. Once a friend of mine and I played out the whole film, start to finish, every single line, just for fun. I also had a major crush on Sam (played perfectly by a pre-drug-crazed Corey Haim). The film may have it’s faults, but I don’t see them. To me, it’s absolutely perfect.

 

And there you have it. The 30 Day Horror Challenge, accepted and completed! Thanks for reading, and stick around for even more entertaining shenanigans soon! 🙂

M.

Nov 13 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 21 to 25

Just two days left!! Let’s go!

Day 21 – Best Horror Franchise: Scream

scream

So, I had a bit of trouble coming up with the answer to this one. There are franchise films that I liked a lot more than Scream, as good as it was, but the problem is, as with most franchises, the first film is great, and then the rest suck. So while Nightmare on Elm Street is still one of my favourite horror films, I can’t say that it’s the best franchise, because most of the sequels sucked. The same thing happened with Saw. Everything good about that first film was sucked dry and robbed of all life in the 3000 or so sequels that came after. So even though Scream‘s sequels were nowhere near as good as the first one (especially the second one), I can still say that I liked all the films in the franchise. I don’t think there’s a single other horror franchise that I can say the same thing of.

 

Day 22 – Best Death Scene: Blind Mag, Repo! The Genetic Opera

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This category was especially hard to choose. The number of horror films I’ve seen is quite staggering, so that means that death scenes are as numerous as the stars. There have been so many cool ones, that choosing just one favorite is impossible. There have been hilarious ones (Pee Wee’s death in Buffy the Vampire Slayer gets me every time), scary ones, gross ones, quick deaths, slow deaths, messy deaths, clean deaths… the list goes on and on. So what I did was choose the first cool one that came to mind, and after flipping through the dozens of generic deaths that popped into my mind, I settled on this one: Blind Mag’s suicide/murder from Repo! The Genetic Opera (which, if you haven’t seen it already, you need to, right now). A little hard to describe, Repo is a goth musical, the story of a chronically ill girl who lives in a world where transplanted organs can be repossessed if the patient is unable to pay for them, and a world where surgery is the fashion craze. Sounds weird, I know, but it’s amazing. There are many deaths deaths in the film, but the one that stands out the most is Blind Mag’s, an opera singer who’s blind eyes were replaced with cybertronic ones years ago. But Mag has had enough being the company’s puppet, and decides to break her contract, knowing full well that her eyes will be taken from her, and not kindly. After a beautiful stage performance ending with her being lifted from the stage by a harness, she simply states that she would rather be blind, and as an ultimate “fuck you” destroys her very expensive eyes by poking them out with long claws on her fingers, effectively committing suicide before the repo man can get her. A moment after her eyes are gone, her harness is cut, and she plummets to the stage, ending up impaled on part of the scenery. It’s horrible, yet strangely beautiful, and very memorable, which is why I chose it for this list.

 

Day 23 – Best Quote from a Horror Film: From Dusk Till Dawn

from dusk till dawn

Another category that was hard to decide on. Horror movies are often known for their snappy dialogue (ok, good horror movies are often known for their snappy dialogue), so choosing just one quote was hard. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go for a classic quote or something obscure, something funny or something serious, something light or something tense. So as with the death scene, I just let my mind wander for a moment, and picked the first cool one that came to mind. This time inspiration came from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino‘s From Dusk Till Dawn. It’s the end of the film, and our hero and the girl are the last two standing after a night-long battle with vampires in the Mexican strip club the Titty Twister. Seth’s contact finally arrives with sun, and after the doors to the club get thrown wide open, the remaining vampires burst into flame and explode. The contact, intelligent individual that he is, asks “So what were they? Psychos?” to which Seth famously answers: “Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!”

 

Day 24 – Best Serial Killer Film: The Silence of the Lambs

The-Silence-of-the-Lambs

I love serial killers. I’ve got this weird, morbid fascination with them. I watch a lot of true crime stuff, read true crime books, and of course, I love serial killer fiction as well. But, to be specific, not slasher stuff, “real” serial killer fiction. Stuff like Friday the 13th, Halloween or Texas Chainsaw, while technically about serial killers, are not the kind of films I mean (those bore me). I mean films like Mr Brooks, Seven, The Frozen Ground, Psycho, Frailty, Zodiac, Copycat, The Raven, Clay Pigeons, From Hell, Identity, Natural Born Killers (even though I didn’t like it), and, of course, the TV show Dexter. But the best of the best is still, even 21 years later, The Silence of the Lambs. Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill are still two of the creepiest serial killers ever to be captured on film, and it’s still, to my knowledge, the only horror film not only to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture, but to win it. And it was very much earned. I don’t think there’s a horror fan on the planet that hasn’t seen it, but if by chance you haven’t, do so.

 

Day 25 – Best Holiday Horror Film: Ginger Snaps

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When people think holiday horror, the first thing they think of is Christmas. So I decided to do something different and choose another holiday (mostly because I couldn’t really think of a good Christmastime horror movie :-p ). I chose Halloween, because it’s my favorite holiday of the year, and has been since I was a kid. Despite the ton of gifts you get at Christmas as a kid, I’ve always preferred Halloween. I loved dressing up (still do), even if I didn’t go trick-or-treating. And there are many more horror movies set during Halloween, for obvious reasons. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to go with the Canadian film Ginger Snaps for this category. It’s fun, it’s bloody, it’s smartly written, well acted and has cool practical effects. Werewolf films are hard to do without getting schlocky, but Ginger Snaps managed just fine. Also, Katherine Isabelle is a fox. Phew. And she loves making horror films, good news for us pervy horror fans!

 

One day left, so stay tuned!!

M.

Nov 11 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 16 to 20

Alright, enough slacking. Let’s get back to business!

Day 16 – Best Horror Movie Soundtrack: Twilight

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I know what you’re thinking, so just don’t :-p While the scariest thing about Twilight is Kristen Stewart‘s acting, it’s still about vampires and werewolves, so it technically qualifies as horror. And yes, I enjoy these films. Is Bella a good role model for teenage girls? Definitely not. Do I care? Not in the slightest. The films are fun, schmoopy, and have nice eye candy. It also has one of the most beautifully haunting soundtracks I’ve ever heard. I can listen to the score over and over, and it gets to me every time. Just beautiful. In the following video, my favorite is number 9, The Skin of a Killer, which starts at about 18:11.

 

Day 17 – Best 80’s Horror: Fright Night

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The 80’s were both awesome and awful at the same time. The decade that gave us some of the very best films, also decided to give us the worst. And the fashion… well what can be said about shoulder pads and tassels, really? The 80’s also gave us Fright Night, one of the most amazing vampire films ever to be put on celluloid. The acting is sometimes scary, the effects are “very 80’s”, the story pretty generic, but despite all that, there’s nothing you can say that will convince me that this isn’t one of the greatest things to come out of the whole decade. (Again, there was another film that would have gone here, but I’m still saving it for later. It’s worth the wait, believe me.) Fright Night is the story of teenager Charley, who becomes (rightly) convinced that his new neighbour, Jerry, is a vampire who’s murdering women. With his girlfriend Amy and best friend Evil by his side, he enlists the help of horror tv host Peter Vincent to slay the vampire (played to delicious perfection by the scrumptious Chris Sarandon). It’s campy, funny, sometimes tense and absolutely perfect.

 

Day 18 – Best Black and White Horror Film: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

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So, technically, The Last Man on Earth should go here, but I’m trying not to double up my answers. So I picked my second favorite, the 1956 alien flick Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This seemingly timeless film has a man finding that strange things are happening in his small town. People are turning into emotionless beings, who look and act like they used to, but those closest to the affected know something’s not right. One of the earliest films, to my knowledge, to have such an abysmal ending. Great, great film, that wouldn’t be out of place in cinemas today. (And that’s saying something about a 50’s film!)

 

Day 19 – Best Use of Gore: Event Horizon

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As I’ve said before, I’m not really a huge fan of the gore flick. Some is fine, even a lot is fine, if it fits in with the story, and is well done. But gore just for the sake of gore? That’s just gross for nothing, pointless splatter, and I don’t like that. Event Horizon has a good amount of gore, but the film is so good that the gore really doesn’t take away from the film at all. (Although, I’ve seen pictures of some of the deleted scenes, and I have to say I’m glad they got cut. I think it would have made the film go from amazing to pointlessly gory.) When a crew is sent to salvage a ship that’s been lost in deep space for years, they realize that it might not be as empty as it first seems. Well acted, well written and yes, well gorified.

 

Day 20 – Favorite Character in Horror: Dracula

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Is anyone really surprised here? There’s not much more to say. I love everything vampire, so it kinda goes without saying that my favorite horror movie character would be Dracula, in his many guises. The hard part was deciding which Dracula to post a picture of here, there have been so many. From the classic Bela Lugosi, the nightmare-inducing Max Schreck, the charismatic Gary Oldman, the beautiful Gerard Butler, the campy Christopher Lee, the slightly anemic looking Rudolf Martin or, most recently, the ridiculously attractive Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, there is no way to choose just one favorite. They’re all good in their own way. So I chose a picture of Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000, and a clip from Oldman’s 1992 Dracula.

 

And that’s a wrap for now! Stay tuned for Days 21 to 25, coming soon! 🙂

M.

Nov 8 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 11 to 15

Alright, let’s get right into this.

Day 11 – Favorite Horror Comedy: Cabin in the Woods

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Before Cabin in the Woods came out, this spot was long occupied by Army of Darkness. As I’ve said before, I really didn’t like The Evil Dead, or it’s sequel. But Army of Darkness made me laugh so hard the first time I saw it, I almost peed myself. It was definitely the horror comedy to beat, and Cabin did it, and them some. When I originally saw the trailers, how they set it up didn’t really make me want to see it much, it looked like just another slasher flick. I figured I’d see it at some point once it was out on dvd or Netflix. But then after it came out, I noticed, on Facebook, as one by one my friends saw it and raved about it. I was told, often, that I absolutely NEEDED to go see this on the big screen. Not understanding why such a generic slasher could cause such a fuss, I went to IMDb to read up a bit on it, and that’s when I saw it: Written by Joss Whedon. So I grabbed my mom, and went to see it in the cinema as soon as I possibly could. And it was the greatest thing since, well, everything. It was absolutely hilarious, and yet still managed to be scary at the same time, something Army of Darkness wasn’t able to do. And of course, that ending… I don’t use the word “epic” much, but that’s exactly what it was. Epic. It had epicdom in spades. If you happen to be one of the three horror fans on the planet who hasn’t seen this film yet, I won’t spoil it for you. But I will say WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? Go see it, now! No really, stop reading my silly little blog, and go see it. Schnell!!

 

Day 12 – Most Disturbing Horror Film: Stephen King’s It

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This film is occupying this slot for one reason, and one reason only. Pennywise the fucking Dancing Clown. I saw this film when it first aired as a two part mini-series in ’90 (based on the Stephen King novel of the same name), and it scared the ever-living snot out me. No, it’s not the best film, some of the acting is a little shakey, some of the dialogue is a little hokey (you have to remember that it was made for early ’90s televison), but that clown. That goddamned clown. I watch it every couple of years, and it still gets to me, 23 years later. I’ve heard whispers that they’re looking to remake it for the big screen. If they get anyone but Tim Curry to play the role, I think I may just boycott it, because he was it. No one else could fill those ridiculously big shoes. Oh yes, they float. They all float down here. Ugh, I got goosebumps just writing that…

 

Day 13 – Favorite Zombie Film: Warm Bodies

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I’m not the biggest fan of the zombie movie. I’ve seen the original Night of the Living Dead, and while I enjoyed it, it’s definitely not my favorite anything. I just find the whole genre a little dumb. It has to be really good, and contain a lot more than just shambling dead folks to keep my attention. When I saw the trailers for Warm Bodies, I almost peed myself. A zombie comedy that also has a love story? I definitely had to see this. It was way funnier than I had even expected, while still managing to have some good, tense moments, and the romance, while really being the whole point of the “humanizing” that’s happening to the shufflers, is not shoved in your face. Anyone saying that this is just Twilight with zombies needs to shut up and actually go see the movie.

 

Day 14 – Favorite Indie Horror: The Woman in Black

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From Hammer Films, the gods of indie horror, The Woman in Black is an almost perfect piece of film-making. Daniel Radcliffe ups his game, putting Harry Potter far from our minds as Arthur Kipps, a young widowed father who goes to a small town to settle the estate of an old woman who has just passed away. But things in the sprawling mansion are not as quiet as they first seems. This film is tense, atmospheric, an amazing study in gothic horror. The boo!scares are kept to a minimum, which is always a pleasant surprise. Too many films are relying on those these days. Yes, it gives you a fright, but it’s not a “real” fright. Very, very well done. I may even use the word masterpiece. Yes, I think I will. This film is a masterpiece.

 

Day 15 – Favorite Monster Movie: Watchers

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For this category, almost anything could be called a monster, so I decided to cut out everything that often has it’s own sub-genres (vampires, werewolves, ghosts, aliens, etc), and went straight to “undefined” monsters. Watchers gets a lot of flack from people who loved the novel (by Dean Koontz) for being almost nothing like it. And yes, it’s true. Book and movie don’t have a whole lot in common. But if you’re able to put the novel out of your head while watching, it’s a pretty entertaining piece of film. The acting and effects are mostly pretty crappy, but it’s still a fun, campy popcorn flick. Plus, I totally had a major crush on Corey Haim.

 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned tomorrow for Days 16 to 20! 🙂

M.

Nov 7 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 6 to 10

No fanfare needed, let’s continue this list.

Day 6 – Favorite Vampire movie: Interview with the Vampire

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Anyone who knows me even just a little will be able to tell you that I love vampires. Throw a rock in my house and chances are good that it’ll hit something vampire-related. I’ve seen so many vampire films, and I’ve enjoyed almost all of them to one extent or another. For me not to like it, a vampire film has to really be a truly colossal piece of shit. So trying to pick one single favorite vampire movie is like trying to pick the prettiest star in the sky. There’s one that I would have put here without question, but I’m saving it for later. So for this category, I’ll go with Interview with the Vampire, based on the novel of the same name by Anne Rice. When I first heard of this film, I was super excited… until I heard who was playing in it. To say I’m not particularly a fan of Tom Cruise is an understatement, and Brad Pitt was definitely not the first face to come to mind when I thought of the character of Louis. And I wasn’t the only one less than thrilled by the casting. Anne Rice herself was apparently livid when she found out Tom Cruise was playing Lestat. All that changed, however (for her and for me), after the movie came out. I saw it and fell in love with it immediately. It’s so well done, beautifully acted, shot and filmed. Some movies I watch once or twice, and even if I love them don’t feel the need to watch them again. Others, like Interview, I can watch time and time again and never get bored of it.

Day 7 – Horror Film I Think No One Has Seen: The Club

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This film is so little known that doing a Google image search yielded exactly 5 pictures, all of them crappy. Even the film’s IMDb page has no pictures. During the graduating class’s high school prom, a strange man named John is amongst the students. He wants them to join his very exclusive club, you see. Initiation is simple, all you have to do is commit suicide… or murder. It’s a campy piece of film, but quite enjoyable for those who enjoy the genre. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.

Day 8 – Favorite Foreign Horror Film: The Eye

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Since I’m from Canada, I could have gone with any film from the States and it would technically be a foreign film. But that would be cheating. So for this category, we go to China for the Pang Brothers’ extremely creepy ghost story, The Eye. Mun is a young lady who’s been blind all her life. After a cornea transplant, she starts seeing things that she’s unsure if they’re real or not. She slowly realizes that she’s able to see things that other people can’t, and goes on a trip to Singapore to find who her new eyes used to belong to, and what this person is trying to tell her. Such an amazing film, scary, tense and very well acted. The elevator scene (that almost killed me the first time round) gets my heart pumping every time.

Day 9 – Favorite Supernatural Horror: The Sixth Sense

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Since I’m not a huge fan of the slasher flick, pretty much all the horror films I watch, and the ones I love the most, are technically in the supernatural category. But I decided to go with what the creator of this list probably meant, and that’s ghost stories. I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw The Sixth Sense for the first time. I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. And we were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We didn’t see any. Too bad so many of the director’s subsequent films sucked…

Day 10 – Horror Film Everyone Loved, But I Didn’t: Suspiria

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As with the film I thought I like, but didn’t, so many films could have gone here. The Shining, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Alien, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, all boring-ass films that everyone seems to love. But the worst has to be Suspiria. Much like Kubrick, I will never understand Dario Argento‘s appeal. I’ve seen a few of his films, and they’re all horrible. Like a whole new level of horrible. Sure, they’re pretty and bright, but a good film that does not make. The acting was painful, effects laughable and the story… so… bloody… slow. I do like me a good slow burn, but at some point, something has to happen. A bright red murder after every 25 minutes of watching someone walk around doesn’t count as something happening. Really. The only thing this film has going for it is that awesome theme song by Goblin.

That’s it for tonight! 11 to 15 coming up tomorrow! 🙂

M.

Nov 5 2013

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 days): Days 1 to 5

So, I’ve already done a movie challenge like this before on my Facebook, which was pretty fun. But when I came across this one, I found it even funner, but didn’t want to stretch it out over 30 days again. So I’ll do 5 a day, for 6 days instead. So without any muss or fuss, let’s get into it.

Day 1 – First Horror Film: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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I was three years old when this film came out, so I obviously didn’t see it in theaters. But I remember seeing it, hidden in the hallway, peering from behind something, when I was 4 years old. It’s a vague memory, but it’s there. My teenaged cousins were babysitting me and, thinking I was safely tucked away in my bed, started the film. I’m not sure how much of it I got watch before they caught me, but it was a significant amount. And from that moment on, I became a fan of horror films. I watched as many as I could sneak, until my mother finally got tired of catching me at it and, seeing that they didn’t give me nightmares (or turn me into a psychopath), just let me watch (and read) what I wanted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdb_HSvf2Zk

Day 2 – Last Horror Film Seen in the Cinema: Evil Dead

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I love going to the cinema, and I don’t get to go nearly as often as I’d like. Most of that is due to the fact that where I live they don’t always have the films in their original versions, and I refuse to see dubbed films. So I’ve only probably seen about 5 films in the last year, and only two of them were horror, I think. So the last horror film I saw in the cinema’s was this summer’s Evil Dead remake (or reboot, whatever you want to call it). Now, I wasn’t a fan of the original film. I saw it late, in either the very late 90’s or early 00’s, and I guess the magic of it was lost on me. I found it stupid and dull and not remotely scary and more than a little silly. Which was a shame because the story (while very simple) was still interesting. So when I heard that they were remaking the film, and promising that it be “the most terrifying film you ever experience”, I was looking forward to it. So while in Montreal one weekend this summer, I grabbed a friend and prepared to be terrified. Well, terrified I wasn’t, but it was still quite a good film, the acting and effects all much much better than the original. I’m not a huge fan of excessive gore, though, so I spent a good amount of time staring at my friend’s shoulder. It doesn’t scare me, it just makes me slightly sick, so I’d rather not.

Day 3 – Favorite Classic Horror: The Last Man on Earth

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I love old movies. I always have. But they have to be good old movies. I’m not a fan of the extra cheesy (unless it’s superbly done), and I need a good story to keep me interested. I can even overlook some not-so-great acting if the story is really good (which is a good thing, because unfortunately a lot of old films have pretty shabby acting). Vincent Price is, by far, my favorite old timey actor, and of all his films, my very favorite is The Last Man on Earth. (A tie might be considered for his voice acting in The Great Mouse Detective, still one of Disney’s best, in my opinion, but we’re here to talk horror, not Disney, so carrying on…) A film version of Richard Matheson‘s I Am Legend (later to remade in the dull Charleton Heston vehicle The Omega Man, and again in the Will Smith dud), The Last Man on Earth tells the story of one man’s struggle to find a cure for a malady that has wiped out the entire population and turned them into blood drinking monsters. But who’s the real monster?

Day 4 – Movie I Thought I’d Like, But Didn’t: Hellraiser

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So many films could have gone into this slot. I saw a lot of the “classics” late, most of the horror I saw were the ones my mother bought on vhs (and tried to hide) or that my cousins or other family members rented. And except for a select few, they didn’t rent or buy any of the so-called classics, so I saw them all finally after I moved out at 17, and could rent what I wanted. And, for the most part, I hated a good amount of them. Hellraiser was the most disappointing though. A movie about beings from a hell dimension of torture? Yeah! Bring it on! I made a big bowl of popcorn, put the tape into my dusty machine and prepared for a frightfest. Boy, was I woefully disappointed. I was so bored, I think I may have nodded off at one point, and that never happens. I even sat through the next 3 films, just in case it got any better, but, with the exception of the 4th which I rather enjoyed (finally), they just got worse. I haven’t bothered to watch any of the 800 subsequent sequels. I heard Clive Barker is penning a remake. It can’t be worse than the original, so I’ll likely see it. Maybe it’ll have the Evil Dead effect…

Day 5 – Favorite Horror Remake: The Ring

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People love to hate on remakes. Usually even way before the film is even in the cinema, or sometimes even before it’s made. I’m of the opinion “how about seeing a film before saying it sucks?” But more on this later. I’ve a whole post in mind about remakes, so I’ll save it for later. As we all know, Hollywood loves a good remake. Whether it’s a remake of an older film, a foreign film, a tv show, or even remakes of remakes. Sometimes they get it wrong, sometimes they get it very wrong. But sometimes, just sometimes, they get it just right. So right that it far surpasses the original material. One such film is The Ring, the 2002 remake of Japan’s Ringu, based on the novel of the same name by Kôji Suzuki (which I also read and loved, despite being as different as it could possibly get from the film). I loved it so much, in fact, that even now, 11 years later, it’s still in my top 10 favorite films of all time. And that’s all films, not just horror.

And that’s all for today! Stay tuned for days 6 to 10 tomorrow! 🙂

M.