Tag Archives: Mel’s 5 Second Review

Mar 25 2015

Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Game of Thrones, Season 4

Game of Thrones (2011 – present)
(Season 4 cast) Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Emilia Clarke, Kit Harington, Lena Headey, Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Charles Dance, Isaac Hempstead Wright, Natalie Dormer, Iain Glen, Gwendoline Christie, Jack Gleeson, Rory McCann, Aidan Gillen, Sibel Kekilli, Liam Cunningham, Stephen Dillane, Rose Leslie, Pedro Pascal, Alfie Allen, Diana Rigg, Michiel Huisman, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Ian McElhinney, John Bradley, Ellie Kendrick, Iwan Rheon, Hannah Murray, Jerome Flynn, Indira Varma, Burn Gorman, Kate Dickie, Finn Jones, Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, and Conleth Hill (holy crap there are too many characters!! :-p )

GoT s4

So, I figured since season 5 is about to start, I should probably catch up on season 4 first. I’ve read all the books, so I wasn’t as gung-ho about keeping up with it as others seem to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love the show. Everything is absolutely perfect, the actors, the writing, the locations, perfect. But, as with all adapted stuff, the show has started to veer away more and more from the books. At first it was just little things, but now there seem to be whole story-lines missing or changed. And, as an avid lover of the books, it’s bumming me out a little.

So, my impressions so far. I’m only one episode in, but damn, did it start with a bang. One story-line they’re getting perfectly is Arya’s. She is suck a kick-ass, it’s almost ridiculous. I absolutely CAN NOT wait for when she gets to Braavos!! Tyrion is wonderful as usual, and Shae is breaking my heart already, since I know what’s coming (I could barely read the book through my tears!). I love Jaime and Brienne’s relationship, but I really don’t like how they’re tweaking his story so much. And yes, I’ve heard what happens after Joffrey’s death. That’s just… unacceptable. Disgusting. He may be a lot of things, but that, he’s not! *stomps foot* And Sansa… Well, Sansa is Sansa, isn’t she?

One episode down, nine to go. I’ll be back in nine hours..!! 😀

M.

Mar 23 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Audiobook Review: A Brief History of Time

A Brief History of Time
Written by: Stephen Hawking
Read by: Michael Jackson

A_Brief_History_of_Time

(Questions from Aubible’s reviews form)

Is there anything you would change about this book?
The narrator for starters. And I’m not really sure what went wrong, but the last 4 or 5 chapters were just… kinda dull. He just went on and on and on… and on about black holes, and I just kinda zoned out. More than once.

What was your reaction to the ending?
By that point, I just wanted it to be over.

What three words best describe Michael Jackson’s performance?
Erratic, dry, dull.
He’d pause between words where there was clearly no comma or period, or then he’d zip through lines like his life depended on his reading as fast as he could. He even did some ahhs and ums, which really now, is a big no-no when recording audiobooks. And his voice just kinda droned on, made it very easy to zone out, or have my mind wander.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?
I’ve seen a lot of Stephen Hawking’s TV specials, like Into the Universe and Grand Design, and I absolutely loved them. If he were to make this book into a show like that, I’d certainly be interested in seeing it.

Any additional comments?
I give it 7/10 because it’s Stephen Hawking after all, and I’m a huge fan. But if his other books are narrated by this same guy, Michael Jackson, I’m afraid I won’t be listening to any more of them on Audible.

M.

Feb 8 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Quiet Ones

The Quiet Ones
(2014) Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke, Erin Richards, Rory Fleck-Byrne, and Laurie Calvert

quiet ones

I do love me a good haunting or possession story, so I was really looking forward to this film. So imagine my disappointment when I put this on and discovered it was one of the most boring possession films I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t scary at all, most of the characters are thoroughly unlikable jerks, and it just takes forever to get anywhere. It feels like a (bad) ripoff of Richard Matheson’s Hell House. Jared Harris is usually pretty good, but all I wanted to do is smack him upside the head (with a chair). And the constant smoking… ugh. I know it takes place in the 70’s, and it was a thing, but ugh. Even just seeing it onscreen disgusts me. I stopped the film about 25 minutes before it ended because I was tired and needed a nap, telling myself that I’d finish it some other time. Over a week later, and I still haven’t gotten around to it, nor do I feel the need to. Dull and pointless (and “based on a true story”, yeah right), it barely merits the 3/10 I gave it.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK, and is also on YouTube. But don’t say I didn’t warn you :-p

M.

Feb 4 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Dark

The Dark
(2005) Sean Bean, Maria Bello, Sophie Stuckey, Maurice Roëves, and Abigail Stone

dark

I actually had this one listed as “not interested” on Netflix. With the vague and uninteresting synopsis and the god-awful cover art, I had no intention of watching it. The style of the cover reminded me of those awful, older Italian horror films that some people love, lord knows why. But after reading Vinnie’s review, it actually sounded good, so I decided to go ahead and give it a try. And I have to say, I’m glad I did. It’s a strange little film, to be sure, and it took me a little while to know if I liked it or not, but in the end, I did. The acting is mostly good, except for the beginning of the film. I’m not sure what was going on, but everything for the first 5 minutes or so is awful. Really awful. In fact I almost turned the film off. But once Sean Bean appeared onscreen, it’s like the others realized they had to up their game around him. The basis of the film surrounds an old Welsh legend, something I’d never even heard of before, so it was fun to have no idea what was going on for a long time. It was more tense than scary, though, I’d have liked the fear factor to be upped a little. The ending was surprising and pretty awful. Not awful like bad, but awful as in abysmal. Not many movies these days go all out for such a dark end. It was also a little confusing, and seemed to get lost for a while, but really, that’s the only bad thing I have to say about this film. It gets a very good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK. Enjoy! 🙂

M.

Feb 3 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: At the Devil’s Door

At the Devil’s Door (also known as Home)
(2014) Catalina Sandino Moreno, Naya Rivera, Ashley Rickards, Mark Steger, and Ava Acres

at-the-devils-door

Pleasantly surprised by this one. I was just flipping through Netflix the other night, not sure what to watch, when on a whim, I decided to try this one out. I almost turned it off as soon as it started, but I’m glad I didn’t. The acting was surprisingly good for such an unknown cast and small production, which sadly doesn’t happen much. The story was quite interesting, and every time I thought I had it all figured out, something different happened. That also sadly doesn’t happen often. It’s a little slow at times, but the wait is well worth it, with some nice, creepy things a-happening. It’s not very scary as a whole, but there are some good suspenseful moments nonetheless. All in all, it gets a good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

M.

Jan 27 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Taking of Deborah Logan

The Taking of Deborah Logan
(2014) Jill Larson, Anne Ramsay, Michelle Ang, Ryan Cutrona, Anne Bedian, Brett Gentile, Jeremy DeCarlos, Tonya Bludsworth, and Julianne Taylor

the-taking-of-deborah-logan

SPOILERS AHEAD

Let me start by stating that I had absolutely no intention of watching this film when I found out it was a found-footage style film. I can count on one hand the number of these films I’ve enjoyed, I just don’t see the appeal. They’re supposed to be more frightening since it’s “more real”, I guess, but really all it is is annoying. The shaky camera, especially when the characters are running (and they always do at some point), is nothing except nausea inducing. You can’t even see what’s happening. It’s a genre that has long over-stayed it’s welcome, and I for one will be happy to see it go away. Alright, so, this film. After reading a few reviews, here and on movie sites, saying how good it was, I decided to go ahead and give it a watch, fully expecting to turn it off halfway. And I have to admit, it was pretty good. Jill Larson turned in a marvelous and rather creepy performance as Deborah, which is good since the rest of the cast is pretty mediocre. It was a little slow in some parts, but it built good suspense, so that was ok. That was the good. Now the bad. The ending left much to be desired. It had everything I mentioned I hated about found footage films, and then some. Running, incoherent yelling, the camera light flicking on and off, the image snowing in and out, tons of static, and it lasted for a good 20 minutes. So that knocked a point off its score. The main film student, Mia, was painfully stupid sometimes, so that knocked off another point. And then there was the whole snake thing, culminating in that moronic head-eating scene, and that squeezed another point off. For a film that had been good and scary, that ending was very much a disappointment. But everything before that was quite impressive, enough that it still manages a score of 7/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix and, despite its problems, I still reccomend it. Enjoy!

M.

Jan 25 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me
(2010) Casey Affleck, Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba, Ned Beatty, Elias Koteas, Tom Bower, Simon Baker, Brent Briscoe, Liam Aiken, Matthew Maher, and Bill Pullman

killer inside me

I had such high hopes for this one. There were a few really good actors in it, the story was interesting, but damn was this movie boring. It started out well enough, but after a while it just sort of petered out, as if the story got lost in the woods. And some of the characters really had no point, like Elias Koteas’ Joe. What was his point? He did nothing to further the story, nor did anything from his story turn out to be relevant to the plot of the film. He’s just sort of… there, to remind the audience that Lou is full of shit. Bullshit, for the birds, which he repeats no less than 5 times. The story was good though, so maybe I’ll track down the book and see if it’s any better than the film. Quite disappointing, I give this film a very mediocre 5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. But don’t say I didn’t warn you :-p

M.

Jan 20 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: My Little Pony – Equestria Girls

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
(2013) Tara Strong, Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St Germain, Cathy Weseluck, Rebecca Shoichet, Nicole Oliver, Vincent Tong, and Britt McKillip

my-little-pony-equestria-girls

I never really got into My Little Pony as a kid, so I didn’t even give this film a second glance when it arrived on Netflix some time last year. But my 4 year old son discovered the (new) show on his Netflix about 6 months ago, so we’ve been watching them almost every day. A few episodes are pretty bad, but on the whole it’s a fun show, and the little man loves it, especially Rainbow Dash. After having gone through all 4 seasons twice, I decided to see if he’d be interested in this film. I wasn’t sure, since the plot is about the ponies becoming human girls, I didn’t think he’d be that interested. But he was, very much so, so I put it on. Surprisingly (thankfully), it was actually quite good. Gabriel loved seeing each of the ponies transform into girls, and it was very amusing to watch Twilight Sparkle try to figure out how to behave like a human. Their motto, friendship is magic, is very important in this film, and of course it has a very saccharine ending, but I was expecting that, so it’s ok. There aren’t too many songs, either, which is definitely good. I have a theory about the number of songs in a film (that’s not supposed to be a musical) is directly related to how good or bad a film is (my best example being The Land Before Time and it’s thousand sequels, in which the first film has zero songs except during the credits, and is amazing, compared to the sequels which are 70% song, and suck balls… but I’m babbling again, aren’t I?) All in all, it’s fine family fun, and gets a very good 8/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

M.

Dec 24 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Babadook

The Babadook
(2014) Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman, Daniel Henshall, Barbara West, and Tim Purcell

Babadook

So, I’d really been looking forward to this film, since I’d heard about it. The trailer was awesome, and I’d heard generally only good things about it. It was really just my own apathy that was stopping me from watching it. I’ve been really bad the last 2-3 years or so, in keeping up with shows and movies. No matter how good it looks, or how much I already like a series, I can’t seem to get myself to care enough to watch. But anyways, I’m babbling again… So I finally got around to watching this last week, and by that time, my expectations for the film were very high, with all the positive reviews I’d heard. Ultimately too high, I think. It wasn’t a bad film, but it was nowhere near as good as I was expecting. It was only 93 minutes long, but it felt like 3 hours. It had a few really good, tense scenes, but it wasn’t quite enough to keep me totally engrossed. I’m also of the idea that less is more when it comes to movie villains, especially ghostly things, and I feel that we saw too much of the creature, and that made it much less scary, and actually a little silly. And that ending… it was one of the more ridiculous things I’ve seen. And don’t get all high and mighty on me, telling me I didn’t get it. I get mental illness, believe me. But that was ridiculous. In the end, it was a good idea that just kinda got lost along the way. It gets a decent 7/10 from me.

This film is not currently on Netflix, nor is there a copy on YouTube. But if you wait a bit, I’m sure it’ll come on soon.

M.

Dec 14 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
(2013) Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ian McKellen, Benedict Cumberbatch, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Aidan Turner, Luke Evans, Lee Pace, Ken Stott, Dean O’Gorman, Sylvester McCoy, Stephen Fry, and Cate Blanchett

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

So, I finally got around to seeing this film. I had originally wanted to see it at the cinema, but after I missed my chance, I just never got into the mood to watch it at home. I’m at my mom’s house right now, and she decided to put it on, and despite not being in the mood to watch tv, I got sucked into it. I unfortunately missed a lot of the early dialogue, even though the sound was pretty loud, I dunno, it was weird, like the talking was at a frequency that I couldn’t hear. The acting was all top notch, as expected, and all the extra stuff they added, while unnecessary to the story, was still good. The effects however… I have to admit to being disappointed. They decided to go hardcore CGI, and I felt like it took away from the film. The Lord of the Rings trilogy had just as many orcs and other baddies, but most of them were actors in makeup, and I think that made all the difference. It’s pretty bad to say that films made almost 15 years ago look better than films made now, but they really do. And speaking of CGI, what the hell is up with Orlando Bloom’s face?? Am I the only one that noticed how computerized it was? Did the actor age so horribly that they had to smooth out his face with CGI? It’s really bad, so bad that it was distracting me from the film, and that’s never a good thing. They also went way overboard on some of the action scenes, even more implausible than in the first film. I caught myself saying “oh, come on!” with an eye roll more than once. On the plus side, Smaug was awesome, and the whole final act was nail-bitingly awesome. Thankfully, my memory of the book is hazy at best (I read it in grade school), so all the extra stuff doesn’t bother me as much as it might have had it been fresh in my mind. All in all, it was a fun watch, I give it a good 8/10. I’ll try to see the next film sooner this time, hehe.

M.