Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Conjuring

The Conjuring
(2013) Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton and Joseph Bishara

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A little slow in some parts, this was nevertheless an excellent film. The acting, atmosphere and effects were all top notch, and the reliance on boo!scares were kept to a bare minimum. I don’t buy for a second that this is anywhere near to true, but it makes for a damned good film. There really isn’t anything else to say about this film, just that it’s great, and if you haven’t seen it, go! Go now! It gets 9.5/10, it’s darn near a perfect horror film.

I don’t think this film is currently on Netflix, but it’s well worth the price of a rental, or even the price of buying the dvd/blu-ray, so go track it down!

 

M.

The Alphabet Movie Challenge – A to M

I’ve seen a few of these movie challenges floating around the intarwebs, so I thought it’d be fun to do, so I picked one in the bunch and started my picture hunting. And since it’s so long, I decided to do it in two goes (cause I’m a giant lazy-ass). Without further ado, here’s A to M in my Alphabet Movie Challenge. Enjoy! 🙂

A
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I’m a big superhero movie fan, especially the X-Men. Actually Marvel in general. DC movies (with the obvious exception of The Dark Knight) are kinda dull. Despite his awesome powers, Superman is actually pretty boring, but that’s not the point here. I’ve loved all the X-Men films (Even The Last Stand, which everybody seems to have hated, I dunno, I loved it), so I’m really, really looking forward to this one. It should tide me over on superheros till Avengers 2 comes out next year.

B
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This book is one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s an amazing story, I can’t believe it hasn’t been turned into a film yet. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t think any of Robert R McCammon‘s books have been made into films. It’s such a shame, too, cause his books are mostly awesome and, in the right hands, would make amazing films. I wonder if it’s the author who just doesn’t want his books “messed up” by a film-maker…

C
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I don’t think I really need to explain this one. Robert Downey Jr is just simply the coolest cat on the planet, and I’d like to say howdy.

D
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I may be cheating a little here since this pairing already happened, but really, this is the best actor/director pairing that could ever happen. Joss Whedon‘s writing fits RDJ like a glove. I sincerely hope that they’ll have a long career of working together (without becoming as predictable and tired as Tim Burton and Johnny Depp).

E
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I decided to forego all the obvious classics, and reccomend something that may be a little less known. The Ghost and Mrs Muir is an absolutely lovely story about a young widow who moves into a new house to find that it’s haunted by a handsome, if a little rough around the edges, sailor. After the initial shock of finding a ghost in her house, the woman comes to care deeply for the ghost, and he her. If you haven’t seen this wonderful little film, I really reccomend it.

F
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It may not be the franchise that has the most films in it (there’s only three), but its quality is unmatched. I don’t really think I need to explain why. If you’re one of the three people on the planet who haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy, go, now. Schnell!!

G
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I like a lot of different genres, but my favourite by far is horror. Fantasy comes in a close second.

H
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So, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert isn’t really a “hidden” film, I’m sure a good number of people have seen it, but I can’t really think of anything else off the top of my head. But, still, I’m sure there’s a lot of people who haven’t seen this yet, and to them I say: shame on you!! hehe This film is so fun and so touching all at the same time. Or watch it simply to see Agent Smith (and Lord Elrond) in drag :-p

I
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So I don’t really have a movie that helped me through a tough time, or really impacted my life in a huge way or anything like that, so I had a bit of trouble picking a movie for this category. So I went all the way back to when I was a wee little thing, to the first time I saw The Lost Boys. My mom bought it on good ol’ VHS when it came out, I was about 7 years old. She hid it instead of putting it with my other movies, telling me it was too scary for me. So, of course, when she wasn’t home I hunted for it till I found it and popped it into the machine. And there began my life-long love affair with vampires. Did my mother ever catch me watching it, you ask? Well, yes, she did. But not before I’d watched it so many times that I could recite almost the whole film word for word. Exasperated at me, she nevertheless let me watch whatever I wanted from that moment on, since it obviously wasn’t giving me the nightmares she’d promised I’d get after watching.

J
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Another little cheat here, but really, can you blame me? It’s not like there’s only one film I ever watch when it’s raining. But Netflix is perfect for those rainy/lazy/sick/sleepy days. With tens of thousands of movies and shows to pick from, slacking off has never been easier! hehe

K
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There was absolutely no way that I was going to be able to choose a single film for this one. There are so many awesome films from my childhood, and I still watch them all. And I’ve got my own child now, and I’m enjoying watching him enjoying them now. They don’t make ’em like this any more. Such a shame.

L
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Obviously. I wouldn’t bring beer, but oh, to sit on the moon looking out at the Earth. Or to float around space, seeing all the majesty of the planets, stars and everything else in the universe. In a protective bubble, of course. I want to see the majesty, not have it murder me.

M
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I had to sit and think about this one. I binge watch stuff often, but rarely do I do it with movies. In fact, I always wait till the end of a season to watch the shows I like, so I can watch as many as I want, without the frustration of waiting a week (or more) to know what happens next. But every so often I’ll watch a few movies in a row, and when I do, it’ll invariably be one of these.

That’s it for now, hope you enjoyed!

Stay tuned for part two, N to Z, coming soon(ish), hehe. No, but really, I’ll try kick myself in the butt to get it done. I’m such a lazy bones…. :-p

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: World War Z

World War Z
(2013) Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, Fana Mokoena, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Peter Capaldi, Pierfrancesco Favino, Ruth Negga, Abigail Hargrove and Fabrizio Zacharee Guido

WorldWarZ

Hollywood blockbuster or not, I truly enjoyed this film. It was fast paced, never dull (despite it’s 2 hour running time) and well acted. Zombie films aren’t generally my favorite genre, but since this (much like 2010’s The Crazies) isn’t “really” a zombie film, I guess that explains it. I also haven’t read the book yet (my to-read list is even longer than my to-watch list, if that’s even possible…), so I can’t comment on how different the film and book are. A lot of people seem to be unhappy with how it translated to the screen, that it was hardly even the same story, but since I went into it completely ignorant, maybe I enjoyed it more than I would have if I’d read the book? I don’t know. All I know is that much enjoyment was had on my part, and that’s the whole point of a film right, right? It gets a solid 9/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!

M.

ps – There seems to be more than one version of the film floating around. The copy I, err, “acquired” was not the same copy that was on the dvd my mother bought. My copy seemed to have a few extra scenes in it.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Dead Silence

Dead Silence
(2006) Ryan Kwanten, Donnie Wahlberg, Amber Valletta, Michael Fairman, Joan Heney, Judith Roberts, Bob Gunton and Julian Richings

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I bought this movie in the bargain bin for 5$. I didn’t actually think I’d enjoy it, seeing as how I’m terrified of dolls like this. However, it’s a surprisingly good movie. Made by the team who brought us Saw, Insidious, and The Conjuring, I should have known it would be scary. Scarier even than the dolls was the old woman. I couldn’t sleep that whole night until the sun came up. A sign of a job well done. A solid 7.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Absentia

Absentia
(2011) Katie Parker, Courtney Bell, Dave Levine, Morgan Peter Brown, Justin Gordon, James Flanagan, Scott Graham and Doug Jones

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This film was surprisingly good, despite its obvious independent-film-ness. I was expecting crappy acting and crappy cinematography, but the story looked really interesting, and that’s usually enough for me (to a certain point of course. Some actors are so bad that no amount of good story can save the film, hehe). But I’m happy to report that the film exceeded my expectations. It wasn’t a masterpiece, and it did get a little laggy in a part or two, but on the whole it was a well-acted, well-shot very interesting story. The only negative thing I might have to say about it is that I wish there were more explanation as to what’s really going on. I loved the vagueness of what was going on at first, but eventually I was expecting an explanation for what the thing was, not just the “this is what it’s called” segment we got, which just felt slapped on and rushed, almost as if the writers themselves couldn’t figure out what was going on, and just decided to not include a reason in the story. But, despite all that, it still gets a solid score 8/10. Well done.

The film is currently on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Sinister

Sinister
(2012) Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Fred Dalton Thompson, James Ransone, Michael Hall D’Addario, Clare Foley and Nick King

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If you haven’t watched this, I highly recommend you do. Right now. Just drop what you’re doing and watch it. It was really good. Well acted, well written, awesomely atmospheric. Us horror fans are blessed that an actor of Ethan Hawke’s caliber loves doing horror films. The story is simple enough: a true crime writer moves his family into a house where the previous occupants were savagely murdered, and wouldn’t you know it, strange things start happening. But before you write this off as “just another ghost story”, think again. Very creepy, I give it a solid 9/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy, and don’t turn out the lights!! hehe

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: House at the End of the Street

House at the End of the Street
(2012) Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Elizabeth Shue, Gil Bellows, Eva Link, Nolan Gerard Funk, Jordan Hayes and Allie MacDonald

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Pretty darn good. A little slow in some parts, but never so much that I got bored. Acting was top notch (especially from Jennifer Lawrence, what a rising star she is!) and the story was really good. I wasn’t surprised by the twist, unfortunately, because I already kind of knew what was going to happen (god, I hate spoilers… grrr!), but I enjoyed it nonetheless. A solid 8.5/10.

This is currently on Netflix. Enjoy!! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Silent Hill, Revelation

Silent Hill, Revelation
(2012) Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Deborah Kara Unger, Radha Mitchell, Martin Donovan, Roberto Campanella and Malcolm McDowell

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Not as bad as I heard, but not great either. Acting was a little sloppy (even, surprisingly, from Kit Harington (aka Jon Snow), but I’m going to assume that it’s because he’s never had to mask his accent before, and he’s not very good at it). The story was decent, and the visuals were pretty amazing, but it lagged at times, and pretty badly. I caught myself being more interested in my fingernails once or twice, and that doesn’t bode well for a film’s quality. I give it a not bad 5.5/10.

This movie is currently on Netflix.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Excision

Excision
(2012) AnnaLynne McCord, Traci Lords, Ariel Winter, Roger Bart, Jeremy Sumpter, Malcolm McDowell, Marlee Matlin, Ray Wise, John Waters and Matthew Gray Gubler

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Where to even begin? Boy, this was a weird one. I’m not entirely sure I liked it, but it was interesting, if nothing else. The acting was amazing, even, surprisingly enough, from Traci Lords. It was one of those films that doesn’t really have a point, it’s just stuff happening until the character snaps, which, I guess in the end, is the whole point. It was a little laggy in some parts, a little dull in others, and a lot wtf. The main character’s fantasy sequences, while beautifully filmed with bright, bold colours, are so fucked up that you can’t help what wonder what exactly the film makers were on. But that last scene… it was so powerful and awful.. it took my breath away. I’d have given it a 5, but am bumping it up to 6/10, for that scene alone.

This film is not currently on Netflix, nor is there a full version on YouTube. But I did manage to find the short film, which was the starting point for the film. I haven’t watched it myself, but I heard it was a lot like the film, just 18 minutes long, instead of 75. I’m not sure I’d reccomend the film to people who’s tastes are like mine, but if you’re one of those people that likes disturbing films with intense imagery, definitely go and track the film down.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: 30 Days of Night

30 Days of Night
(2007) Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Ben Foster, Mark Boone Jr, Mark Rendall, Amber Sainsbury, Manu Bennett, Elizabeth Hawthorne and Craig Hall

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This movie could have been so good, it’s really a shame. The premise was excellent, but the final product was seriously lacking. The vampires spent half their time shrieking, even when trying to be stealthy, the blood on their faces was always wet, even when there’s supposedly no more people to eat for days at a time, the acting was occasionally painful, and the ending was way too predictable. All these things on their own might have been forgivable, but when they start piling up on top of each other, well… what a shame :-p It gets a very meh score of 5/10.

I don’t believe this film is currently on Netflix, but apparently by clicking the link on this video, you can watch it free online. I dunno if it’s true, I’m too scared to click it. You never know where strange links will lead… dun dun DUN!! hehe

M.