My Top 30 Films of the 80s

These were incredibly hard to rank, harder than any other decade, because this is the decade that I grew up in and started to mold my mind into what kind of media I’d like for the rest of my life. I saw most of these films before I was 10 years old (yes, I was probably too young for some of them), and they’re imprinted permanently into my brain. It was very hard to keep the list to 30 (not as hard as it was in the upcoming 90s list, but still). So here they are, my top 30 movies of the 80s!

Number 30

Title: Weird Science
Year: 1985
Plot: Two high-school nerds use a computer program to literally create the perfect woman, who promptly turns their lives upside-down.
Starring: Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Bill Paxton, Robert Downey Jr
Directed by: John Hughes
Based on: The comic book Weird Science #5: Made of the Future by Al Feldstein
Notes: Yes, it’s got some problematic things in it, but this film is so much fun! A classic teen movie (made way before I was a teen) that just makes me laugh. Plus, it’s fun to see Bill Paxton (rip) and Robert Downey Jr in early roles.

Number 29

Title: The Secret of NIMH
Year: 1982
Plot: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she suspected.
Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Peter Strauss, Arthur Malet, Hermione Baddeley, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, John Carradine, Paul Shenar
Directed by: Don Bluth
Based on: The book Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien
Notes: One of my absolute favourites growing up. I kept on wanting it higher on the list, but there are simply too many amazing movies from this decade! Also, I had no idea that Shannen Doherty (rip) and Wil Wheaton were the voices of two of the Brisby kids!

Number 28

Title: Ghostbusters
Year: 1984
Plot: Armed with proton packs, four paranormal investigators battle mischievous ghouls in New York.
Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Rick Moranis, William Atherton, Slavitza Jovan
Directed by: Ivan Reitman
Based on: An original screenplay written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis
Notes: What can I say about this film? It’s an absolute classic! It never fails to make me laugh.

Number 27

Title: Silver Bullet
Year: 1985
Plot: In a small town, brutal killings start to plague the close-knit community. Marty Coslaw, a paraplegic boy, is convinced the murders are the doings of a werewolf.
Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O’Quinn, Bill Smitrovich
Directed by: Daniel Attias
Based on: The novella Cycle of the Werewolf by Stephen King
Notes: Corey Haim (rip) was one of the first actors that I remember really having a crush on when I was a kid after seeing him in The Lost Boys and Watchers. He’s much younger in this film, but still adorable. The film itself is fun, and the werewolf effects were pretty good for the time. I miss practical effects…

Number 26

Title: The Serpent and the Rainbow
Year: 1988
Plot: An anthropologist goes to Haiti to research a drug that makes someone appear dead by suspending all vital signs.
Starring: Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Zakes Mokae, Paul Winfield, Michael Gough, Brent Jennings, Conrad Roberts, Badja Djola
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: The non-fiction book The Serpent and the Rainbow by Wade Davis
Notes: The author famously hated the film, and it faced some serious backlash for its fictionalized portrayal of Haitian Vodou and the Haitians in general. But, and I may be wrong here, it’s a fictional movie. It never pretends to be a true story. I loved this film, I thought it was a very neat and different angle to the zombie story.

Number 25

Title: Warlock
Year: 1989
Plot: A warlock flees from the 17th to the 20th century, with a witch-hunter in hot pursuit.
Starring: Julian Sands, Richard E Grant, Lori Singer, Mary Woronov, Kevin O’Brien
Directed by: Steve Miner
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy
Notes: This film is so good. The film takes its subject matter seriously, even though the premise is kind of silly. Wonderfully campy and acted better than most movies in its genre, it’s definitely a gem of the 80’s. And Julian Sands (rip), my goodness. One of my very first crushes on a grownup. I can still picture tween me watching this with hearts in my eyes, hehe.

Number 24

Title: Pet Sematary
Year: 1989
Plot: After tragedy strikes, a grieving father discovers an ancient burial ground behind his home with the power to raise the dead.
Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Brad Greenquist, Miko Hughes, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl
Directed by: Mary Lambert
Based on: The book Pet Sematary by Stephen King
Notes: Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Stephen King books, and this happens to be a great adaptation. Sure, they changed some things, but on the whole, they did an awesome job. It’s sure to give you goosebumps!

Number 23

Title: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Year: 1989
Plot: In 1938, after his father goes missing while pursuing the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones finds himself up against the Nazis again to stop them from obtaining its powers.
Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Based on: An original screenplay written by Jeffrey Boam
Notes: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s more, I just don’t acknowledge them). The addition of Sean Connery (rip) as Indy’s dad is wonderful. They really seem like a father and son.

Number 22

Title: Rock & Rule
Year: 1983
Plot: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him.
Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul Le Mat, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Catherine Gallant, Catherine O’Hara
Directed by: Clive A Smith
Based on: Loosely based on the short story The Devil and Daniel Webster by Stephen Vincent Benét
Notes: I don’t remember how I came to see this film. I know we didn’t own the vhs. Maybe taped off of late night tv? In any case, this little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.

Number 21

Title: From Beyond
Year: 1986
Plot: A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.
Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Ken Foree, Ted Sorel, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon
Directed by: Stuart Gordon
Based on: The short story From Beyond by HP Lovecraft
Notes: I tend to love adaptations of Lovecraft’s works even when they aren’t that good. This one is great, with a wonderful lead performance by Jeffrey Combs (the go-to actor for Lovecraft adaptations). The practical effects are stunning and hold up well, even today.

Number 20

Title: Beetlejuice
Year: 1988
Plot: The spirits of a deceased couple are harassed by an unbearable family that has moved into their home, and hire a malicious spirit to drive them out.
Starring: Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Glenn Shadix
Directed by: Tim Burton
Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson
Notes: Back when Tim Burton was still at the top of his game. So much fun, completely off the wall bonkers, and I love every second of it. It’s wickedly funny with awesome practical effects, it’s been one of my favourites since I was a kid.

Number 19

Title: Return to Oz
Year: 1985
Plot: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.
Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog
Directed by: Walter Murch
Based on: The books Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum
Notes: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.

Number 18

Title: Amadeus
Year: 1984
Plot: The life, music, and death of musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Starring: Tom Hulce, F Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice, Simon Callow, Christine Ebersole, Jeffrey Jones, Charles Kay
Directed by: Milos Forman
Based on: The play Amadeus written by Peter Shaffer, also based on a true story… more or less
Notes: I knew going into it that it wasn’t historically accurate. And do I care? Not a lick. I know a biopic is supposed to tell a true story, and I’m sorry that people might think that this is the way things actually went down, but I’ll be damned if I don’t just love this film to pieces. Fart jokes and all.

Number 17

Title: Moonstruck
Year: 1987
Plot: Loretta Castorini, a bookkeeper from Brooklyn, finds herself in a difficult situation when she falls for the brother of the man she has agreed to marry.
Starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia, Danny Aiello, John Mahoney
Directed by: Norman Jewison
Based on: An original screenplay written by John Patrick Shanley
Notes: I absolutely love this film. Cher is wonderful (and disgustingly beautiful) as Loretta, and her chemistry with Nicolas Cage’s Ronnie is electric. This is one of my very favourite chick flicks.

Number 16

Title: The Neverending Story
Year: 1984
Plot: Troubled Bastian “borrows” a book from a bookstore and dives into the world of Fantasia where a dark Nothing is destroying everything. The only one who can save the day is young warrior Atreyu.
Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, Alma the Horse
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Based on: The book Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende
Notes: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. I’m surprised it’s not higher on my list because I literally wore the vhs out, but that just goes to show how awesome 80s films were. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed the character in age, about 7 years later.

Number 15

Title: Ladyhawke
Year: 1985
Plot: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse.
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina
Directed by: Richard Donner
Based on: An original screenplay written by Edward Khmara, Michael de Guzman, Tom Mankiewicz, and David Peoples
Notes: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.

Number 14

Title: The Great Mouse Detective
Year: 1986
Plot: Detective Basil of Baker Street investigates the kidnapping of a toy maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan.
Starring: Barrie Ingham, Vincent Price, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek, Candy Candido, Alan Young, Diana Chesney
Directed by: Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, John Musker
Based on: The book series Basil of Baker Street by Eve Titus
Notes: One of my very favourite Disney films, surpassed only by one, which is later in the list. I absolutely love this little mousey version of Sherlock Holmes, and Vincent Price (rip) as the villain? Of course he is. No one could have done it better.

Number 13

Title: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Year: 1984
Plot: In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him.
Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Nick Corri, Charles Fleischer, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: An original screenplay written by Wes Craven, although he was heavily inspired by real-life news reports of refugees dying in their sleep from extreme nightmares, often referred to as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome.
Notes: This was the very first horror movie I ever saw, which means I was just a wee thing (only 3 or 4 years old) when I partially saw it from where I was hiding while my cousins, who thought I was in bed, were watching. And it’s stuck with me ever since, still one of my favourites, even with the sometimes laughable acting and effects. When a movie is this good, lots of stuff can be over-looked!

Number 12

Title: Poltergeist
Year: 1982
Plot: A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorize the family before they kidnap the youngest daughter.
Starring: Craig T Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Heather O’Rourke, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Martin Casella, Zelda Rubinstein
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Based on: An original screenplay written by Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, and Mark Victor, although they were heavily inspired by the supposed true haunting of the Hermann family in Long Island, in 1958.
Notes: An absolute classic of the genre, it’s still one of the very best haunted house films ever made, even 44 years later. Also, I hate clowns, even toy ones *shudder*

Number 11

Title: The Princess Bride
Year: 1987
Plot: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young woman, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince. When her love turns out to be alive, he sets about rescuing her from the prince’s clutches.
Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Based on: The book The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Notes: This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alike. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Number 10

Title: The Goonies
Year: 1985
Plot: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave.
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, Anne Ramsey
Directed by: Richard Donner
Based on: An original screenplay written by Chris Columbus, based on a story by Steven Spielberg
Notes: I can’t count the number of times I watched this as a kid. It’s so much fun with lots to appeal to both kids and adults. Adventure, danger, traps, and even a little romance.

Number 9

Title: Near Dark
Year: 1987
Plot: After being bit by a beautiful vampire, a young man is given an ultimatum by her family: make a kill within a week, or die. When he realizes he can’t kill, he and the girl run off, with her family in hot pursuit.
Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, Joshua John Miller, Tom Thomerson
Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow
Based on: An original screenplay written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red
Notes: The other vampire film that came out in 1987, this one is decidedly more adult, and was criminally overlooked. I saw this for the first time as a teenager, and it had everything a teenage girl could possibly want. Romance, eye candy, and lots and lots of blood. Oh yeah!

Number 8

Title: Willow
Year: 1988
Plot: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro
Directed by: Ron Howard
Based on: An original screenplay by Bob Dolman, based on a story by George Lucas
Notes: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for its time, it still holds up very well today. Plus, Val Kilmer (rip) is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was one of my very first adult crushes.

Number 7

Title: Aliens
Year: 1986
Plot: Decades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews
Directed by: James Cameron
Based on: An original screenplay written by James Cameron, although he acknowledged inspiration from Robert A Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers
Notes: Simply the best space/alien movie ever, full stop. I saw this (probably way too young) on tv when I was about 8 or 9 and have loved it since then. Action packed and tense, with killer effects, this film rocks!

Number 6

Title: The Black Cauldron
Year: 1985
Plot: A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.
Starring: Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Freddie Jones, Nigel Hawthorne, John Byner, Arthur Malet, Phil Fondacaro, John Hurt
Directed by: Ted Berman, Richard Rich
Based on: The first two books in The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander, titled The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron
Notes: This is my favourite Disney movie, and probably their darkest. It didn’t do well upon release, so that put an end to “dark Disney”, which was a real shame for weirdo kids like me.

Number 5

Title: The Dark Crystal
Year: 1982
Plot: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world.
Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor
Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Odell, based on a story created by Jim Henson and Frank Oz
Notes: So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. I’m not sure what the people who made children’s movies were on in the 80s, but I want some. This film is both heartwarming and tense, with simply stunning puppetry and locations.

Number 4

Title: Fright Night
Year: 1985
Plot: A teen becomes suspicious of his new neighbour when bodies of young women are found dumped in trash bags. He soon realizes the suave, handsome man is an evil vampire, and he tries to enlist the help of a tv vampire slayer to stop him.
Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, Art Evans
Directed by: Tom Holland
Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Holland
Notes: One of the original great horror-comedies, this film is fun, campy, and scary. The actors are perfect in their roles, especially Chris Sarandon as the evil yet seductive Jerry Dandridge. The remake, while nowhere near as good as this one, is still worth a gander.

Number 3

Title: Legend
Year: 1985
Plot: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.
Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Based on: An original screenplay written by William Hjortsberg, although he was heavily inspired by classic fairy tales and Celtic art, particularly the book Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee.
Notes: I’m not sure if the creators of this film intended it to be a kids film or an adults, but I know I saw it as a kid (of course I did). This film, effects-wise, was so far ahead of its time that it would be impressive even if it came out today. And Tim Curry is deliciously evil as Darkness (although I heard that he hated the makeup process, those horns weighed a ton!)

Number 2

Title: Labyrinth
Year: 1986
Plot: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours.
Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud
Directed by: Jim Henson
Based on: An original screenplay written by Terry Jones, based on a story by Jim Henson and Brian Froud, although they acknowledged they were heavily inspired by Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
Notes: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie (rip) is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time. They just don’t make them like this anymore. What a pity…

Number 1

Title: The Lost Boys
Year: 1987
Plot: When brothers Sam and Michael move to a new town after their parents’ divorce, they quickly realize that the town is over-run by vampires. Sam gets help from self-appointed vampire slayers, but for Michael it may be too late…
Starring: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Keifer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Barnard Hughes, Edward Herrmann, Jamison Newlander, Alex Winter, Billy Wirth, Brooke McCarter, Chance Michael Corbitt, Folsom the Dog, Cody the Dog
Directed by: Joel Schumacher
Based on: An original screenplay written by Janice Fischer and James Jeremias
Notes: It was the first vampire movie I ever saw, and was the beginning of a life-long love affair with all things that go bump in the night. I was 6 when this came out, and my mom bought it on vhs and hid it from me, saying it was “too scary”. By the time she’d caught me with it, I’d already watched it about 20 times. Not too scary for this weirdo!

And there it is, 30 of the best films from the 80s. I had a hell of time choosing between Labyrinth and The Lost Boys as my number 1, I think I love them both equally. And I do think the ranking is pretty fluid here. A lot of these can be interchangeable, depending on my mood.

Shout-outs go to the following films for almost making the list:

Watchers
Re-animator
Cellar Dweller
Just One of the Guys
Pretty in Pink
The Breakfast Club
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Twice Upon a Time
Stand By Me
Firestarter

Some of these were so close to making the list that it hurt to leave them off, but adding them would just make an already long list even longer, so here they are.

Stay tuned for the 90s, coming soon!

M.

Remakes I Find Better Than the Original

So, I mostly tend to be in the camp of “leave movies alone, stop making unnecessary remakes”. But every so often, they’ll remake something that either I didn’t like the original at all, or was surprised at how much better something turned out. Here are 20 remakes that, to me, are better than the original. I’ve ranked them, but outside of my top 5, a lot of them are pretty interchangable.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Year: 2005
Remake of: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (1988)
Starring: Georgie Henley, William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Anna Popplewell, Tilda Swinton, James McAvoy, and Liam Neeson (voice)
Directed by: Andrew Adamson
Why it’s Better: Just for production value alone. This film is beautiful, and a very good adaptation of the book.

NUMBER 19

Title: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Year: 2003
Remake of: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Starring: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, and Andrew Bryniarski
Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Why it’s Better: I absolutely hated the original. Like hated. I was surprised that I liked this one as much as I did. Sure, it’s got that glossy feeling that a lot of horror had in the 2000’s, but it’s still a lot of fun.

NUMBER 18

Title: The Phantom of the Opera
Year: 1989
Remake of: The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Starring: Jill Schoelen, Robert Englund, Alex Hyde-White, Bill Nighy, and Stephanie Lawrence
Directed by: Dwight H Little
Why it’s Better: The original is a classic, of course, but I’m not a huge fan of silent films. This one leans much more into horror, and I’m all about that!

NUMBER 17

Title: Thirteen Ghosts
Year: 2001
Remake of: 13 Ghosts (1960)
Starring: Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth, Embeth Davidtz, Rah Digga, and F Murray Abraham
Directed by: Steve Beck
Why it’s Better: This is by no means a great movie. But I’ll be darned if I don’t love it to pieces! The setting of a glass house is so cool, and the ghosts look incredible!

NUMBER 16

Title: Romeo + Juliet
Year: 1996
Remake of: Romeo and Juliet (1968)
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, John Leguizamo, Harold Perrineau, and Pete Postlethwaite
Directed by: Baz Luhrmann
Why it’s Better: I do like Shakespeare’s stories, but lets be honest, most of the adaptations are stuffy affairs. This one takes the story into modern times, while still holding on the the essence of the story. Absolutely wonderful!

NUMBER 15

Title: Dawn of the Dead
Year: 2004
Remake of: Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Starring: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Mekhi Phifer, and Kevin Zegers
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Why it’s Better: I’m generally not a fan of zombie movies, and I find the originals by Romero uninteresting. But this one is amazing. It also one of the greatest openings in horror movie history!

NUMBER 14

Title: Crime and Punishment in Suburbia
Year: 2000
Remake of: Crime and Punishment (there are so many…)
Starring: Monica Keena, Vincent Kartheiser, Ellen Barkin, Michael Ironside, Jeffrey Wright, and James DeBello
Directed by: Rob Schmidt
Why it’s Better: Boy did I love this film when it came out. I was 19, and deeply in love with Vincent Kartheiser. I’m not sure it’s a completely accurate adaptation, besides the move to modern times. But I love it.

NUMBER 13

Title: The Grudge
Year: 2004
Remake of: Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jason Behr, William Mapother, Clea DuVall, Bill Pullman, and Takako Fuji
Directed by: Takashi Shimizu (who better to direct then the director of the original!)
Why it’s Better: I’m almost ashamed to say it, but I’m just not a fan of J-horror. I find it so weird and disjointed. So yes, I prefer this American remake. That noise still haunts me…

NUMBER 12

Title: The Amityville Horror
Year: 2005
Remake of: The Amityville Horror (1979)
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jesse James, Jimmy Bennett, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Rachel Nichols
Directed by: Andrew Douglas
Why it’s Better: I hated the original so very much, that literally anything would have been better. What we got was just a fun haunted house story. And who doesn’t love Ryan Reynolds?

NUMBER 11

Title: The Blob
Year: 1988
Remake of: The Blob (1958)
Starring: Shawnee Smith, Kevin Dillon, Donovan Leitch, Jeffrey DeMunn, Candy Clark, and Joe Seneca
Directed by: Chuck Russell
Why it’s Better: I have trouble with most old timey films. They have to be exceptional for me to be on board. And the ’58 version was just kinda slow and silly. This one takes that idea and cranks it up to 11. The practical effects are absolutely amazing. So much fun!

NUMBER 10

Title: Dorian Gray
Year: 2009
Remake of: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)
Starring: Ben Barnes, Ben Chaplin, Colin Firth, Maryam d’Abo, and Fiona Shaw
Directed by: Oliver Parker
Why it’s Better: Two words: Ben Barnes. fans self Oh, we need more? Again, old timey movies aren’t my bag. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is actually one of my favourite books (yes, I can deal with old timey books, just not movies), and I find this version to be the superior film.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Crazies
Year: 2010
Remake of: The Crazies (1973)
Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker, and Christie Lynn Smith
Directed by: Breck Eisner
Why it’s Better: Another Romero zombie film, I didn’t like it for the same reason I didn’t like his “of the Dead” series. This one ratchets everything up, and is leagues better than the original. I love the fact that it’s not dead coming back to life, but a virus that makes you homicidal. Great film.

NUMBER 8

Title: Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Year: 1991
Remake of: The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) There have been many other adaptations of this story as well.
Starring: Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Christian Slater, Alan Rickman, and Michael Wincott
Directed by: Kevin Reynolds
Why it’s Better: I find this one to be the best of all the Robin Hood films that I’ve seen (except maybe the Disney cartoon). It’s fun, it’s romantic, it’s a little silly, but oh so good!

NUMBER 7

Title: Dune
Year: 2021
Remake of: Dune (1984)
Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Jason Momoa, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, and Javier Bardem
Directed by: Denis Villeneuve
Why it’s Better: Do I really need to explain? Lynch’s Dune (1984) is one of the silliest, most confusing and disjointed movies I’ve ever seen. Dune part 2 is also excellent.

NUMBER 6

Title: The Mummy
Year: 1999
Remake of: The Mummy (1932)
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J O’Connor, and Oded Fehr
Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Why it’s Better: Again the problem with old timey stuff. I only saw part of the original, and that was enough. This version turns it into an action adventure movie, and it’s all the better for it. Plus, 90’s Brendan Fraser? Whew fans self

NUMBER 5

Title: Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1999
Remake of: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)
Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Casper Van Dien, and Christopher Walken
Directed by: Tim Burton
Why it’s Better: I love the original cartoon, it’s very cute, but this version is the ultimate version. All the changes they made fit into the lore perfectly. This is Burton at his finest!

NUMBER 4

Title: The Ring
Year: 2002
Remake of: Ringu (1998)
Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, and Daveigh Chase
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Why it’s Better: I tried watching the original, but I just couldn’t get into it. Not a fan of J-horror. They have good ideas, but I guess it’s a cultural difference, I just don’t get their filming style, I guess. This one was, and remains, one of my favourite films. It’s creepy, atmospheric, and very well done.

NUMBER 3

Title: Nosferatu
Year: 2024
Remake of: Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
Starring: Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Bill Skarsgård, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Willem Dafoe
Directed by: Robert Eggers
Why it’s Better: I just did a whole post about this film, so I won’t repeat myself here. But my god, I love this film!

NUMBER 2

Title: It
Year: 2017
Remake of: It (1990)
Starring: Jaeden Martell, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Finn Wolfhard, Jack Dylan Grazer, Chosen Jacobs, Wyatt Oleff, and Bill Skarsgård
Directed by: Andy Muschietti
Why it’s Better: I have a love for the original since I first saw it when I was 9. Tim Curry rocked the role of Pennywise. But I can’t deny that this is the better film. Both movies, however, had trouble with their part two’s. Not bad, but really not as good.

NUMBER 1

Title: Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Year: 1992
Remake of: Dracula (1931) There have been a literal tonne of Dracula movies, some great, others laughable, but this one started it all (I know, I know, Nosferatu came first. But the 1931 version was the first authorized adaptation).
Starring: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Sadie Frost, Cary Elwes, and Richard E Grant
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Why it’s Better: I won’t deny the effect that the classics have had on modern film. Without the original Universal monsters, we might not have near as many great movies as we do. But it stands that I have trouble with old timey films. But this one. So lush, so beautiful, romantic, sometimes creepy. Simply put, perfect. Besides Keanu’s accent, of course! haha

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I had making it. I’d almost forgotten how much I like blogging (and making lists. I love lists!)

M.

Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities

Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)
Tim Blake Nelson, David Hewlett, Ben Barnes, Rupert Grint, Lize Johnston, Kevin Keppy, Essie Davis, Peter Weller, F Murray Abraham, Kate Micucci, Crispin Glover, Andrew Lincoln, Martin Starr, Sebastian Roché, Ismael Cruz Cordova, Dan Stevens, DJ Qualls, and Nia Vardalos

Cabinet of Curiosities

So I’ve been meaning to watch this since it came out. I was immediately intrigued by the Netflix blurb, and the fact that there’s so many actors that I know and like in it. I put it in my to-watch list… and immediately forgot about it, as I do. I finally got around to watching the first 2 episodes the other night, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

It’s an 8 episode anthology show, that seems to be all horror from what I’ve seen. In the first episode, a cranky old man who owes money to a shady individual buys a storage locker to sell its contents and gets a whole lot more than he bargained for. In the second episode, a graverobber thinks he’s going to have a great haul after a wealthy man passes away, only to find that the “graveyard rats” already have a plan for him.

First the good, and there’s quite a bit of it. It looks really good. The cinematography, production, and atmosphere are all on point. The acting in the first 2 episodes was great, although I can’t say if it stays good all the way through, since I haven’t seen the rest. It’s definitely movie-quality. The bad: I can’t say I loved it. The first episode did a good job at building tension and while the payoff was good, the episode just kind of ended with so many questions left unanswered. The second episode ended better, and had a more complete story, and while it wasn’t bad, it was just kind of “meh”. I’m not sure it gripped me enough to get me to watch the rest of the episodes. There are actors I’m looking forward to seeing (Ben Barnes *cough*), so maybe that’ll be enough to get me to sit down to it again. As it is right now, though, it only gets a 6.5/10.

M.

This is currently streaming on Netflix.

My Top 10 Biopics

I thought I was going to have trouble choosing only 10 films to put on this list, and actually, the opposite turned out to be true. Looks like I haven’t seen as many biopics as I thought, and liked even fewer of them. But, I guess you could say that’s a good thing, since I enjoyed so few of them, that this list will end up being just the very best. No mediocrity here! hehe

I’m also going to try do a wee bit of research to see just how true the film really is. But I’m not a historian, or a time traveler, nor do I have an all-seeing eye, so please don’t be a jerk if I get something wrong. Google knows a lot, but what it doesn’t know is which articles are the actual truth, and with so much info out there, it’s almost impossible to separate the real truth from the rumours. But I’ll do my best.

I also won’t be including any horror or supernatural “true stories”. Since I already did both top horror and top serial killer films lists, I won’t include any of those in this list, to avoid repetition. And on that note, we’re off!

NUMBER 10

10 The Runaways

Title: The Runaways
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon, Stella Maeve, Scout Taylor-Compton, Alia Shawkat, Riley Keough, Johnny Lewis, and Tatum O’Neal
Released in: 2010
Directed by: Floria Sigismondi
Written by: Floria Sigismondi
Based On a Book?: Yes; Neon Angel: The Cherie Currie Story by Cherie Currie
Who is the Story About?: Cherie Currie, Joan Jett and their short-lived band The Runaways
How Close to the Truth Is It?: What Joan has said about the friction between Cherie, Kim Fowley, and herself: “There was more friendship than was shown. I never really had a falling-out with him, even after the band broke up. Disharmony is natural in any band. But there were times when we were on the same page. Kim and Cherie and I still have an extremely intimate bond.” What Cherie has said about the film depicting them as always being miserable: “And that’s not true at all. How do you shove two-and-a-half years into an hour and a half? That was tough because we had a lot of fun.”
Why I Love It: Such a fun film with great music and really strong acting. Think Kristen Stewart is a bad actress? Then you’ve only seen her in Twilight. Joan Jett herself has said that she was absolutely blown away by her performance. She was recorded as saying “It was like looking in a mirror”.

NUMBER 9

9 The Basketball Diaries

Title: The Basketball Diaries
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Lorraine Bracco, James Madio, Patrick McGaw, Juliette Lewis, Bruno Kirby, and Ernie Hudson
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Scott Kalvert
Written by: Bryan Goluboff
Based On a Book?: Yes; The Basketball Diaries by Jim Carroll
Who/What is the Story About?: The drug-hazed teenage years of writer/musician Jim Carroll.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: What Jim Carroll has said about the film: “I thought it was well made. I thought the performances were fantastic. I thought Leonardo was wonderful; I couldn’t have asked for a better actor. I thought the whole cast was great. Unfortunately, the director had no idea what my book was about. And then the ending was much more ambiguous [originally]. They changed it and re-shot it in LA, so I didn’t know about that until I saw the final version of the film. And so I said, “You’re not gonna like make it fucked up and preachy and stuff??” and they said, “No, no!” But that’s what they did!”
Why I Love It: Despite the fact that it’s pretty far from the truth, it’s still a wonderful, albeit hard to watch, film. Leo turns his performance up to 11, and he really shines.

NUMBER 8

8 Cleopatra

Title: Cleopatra
Starring: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Rex Harrison, Hume Cronyn, Martin Landau, Roddy McDowall, Robert Stephens, Francesca Annis, George Cole, and Kenneth Haigh
Released in: 1963
Directed by: Joseph L Mankiewicz
Written by: Joseph L Mankiewicz, Ranald MacDougall, Sidney Buchman
Based On a Book?: Yes; The Life and Times of Cleopatra by CM Franzero, plus historical texts by Plutarch, Appian, and Suetonius
Who/What is the Story About?: The life, rule and eventual death of Ancient Egypt’s last Pharaoh, Queen Cleopatra, and the two men in her life, Julius Caeser and Mark Antony.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: Wikipedia says: “On the whole, the film followed the history of the period fairly closely, and took fewer liberties with historical accuracy than several other epics. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies:” Click here for the list.
Why I Love It: I don’t think I need to explain. I love everything Ancient Egyptian, and this film is beautiful, lush, and actually quite historically accurate, which is sadly rare in Hollywood. Elizabeth Taylor is breath-taking in the lead role, oozing sexuality and power, much as I assume the real Cleopatra would have.

NUMBER 7

7 Braveheart

Title: Braveheart
Starring: Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan, Angus Macfadyen, Catherine McCormack, Brendan Gleeson, Brian Cox, Peter Hanly, Stephen Billington, Barry McGovern, and Tommy Flanagan
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Mel Gibson
Written by: Randall Wallace
Based On a Book?: Yes; The Actes and Deidis of the Illustre and Vallyeant Campioun Schir William Wallace by “Blind Harry”
Who/What is the Story About?: The life and death of William Wallace, a 13th century Scot who led the First War of Scottish Independence against Edward I of England.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: This is one of the most famously inaccurate films in Hollywood history. I won’t even try to list it all. Click here to see what Wikipedia has to say on the subject. Give yourself some time, there’s a lot there :-p
Why I Love It: Despite it’s glaring inaccuracies, one can’t deny this is a beautiful, powerful film. Shows just what Mel Gibson could accomplish before he went bat-shit crazy.

NUMBER 6

6 Remember the Titans

Title: Remember the Titans
Starring: Denzel Washington, Will Patton, Wood Harris, Ryan Hurst, Donald Faison, Craig Kirkwood, Ryan Gosling, Hayden Panettiere, Kip Pardue, Ethan Suplee, Nicole Ari Parker, and Kate Bosworth
Released in: 2000
Directed by: Boaz Yakin
Written by: Gregory Allen Howard
Based On a Book?: No
Who/What is the Story About?: Black football coach Herman Boone is assigned to TC Williams High School’s team the Titans, and the first inter-racial school in the United States.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: The core of the story (integration of the races, most of the players and games) seems to be all there, but a lot of the smaller details (or most of them, rather) are fictionalized. Click here to see what Chasing the Frog (a website devoted to uncovering the real truth behind Hollywood’s “true stories”) has to say about it.
Why I Love It: I’m not the biggest fan of sports films, or sports in general for that matter (except hockey, I am Canadian, after all 😉 ), but every so often one comes along that I really love. The story is good, the acting all on point, and it’s so fun to see a bunch of actors who are big now getting their start here, like hunky Ryan Gosling.

NUMBER 5

5 Immortal Beloved

Title: Immortal Beloved
Starring: Gary Oldman, Jeroen Krabbé, Isabella Rossellini, Johanna ter Steege, Marco Hofschneider, Miriam Margolyes, Barry Humphries, and Valeria Golino
Released in: 1994
Directed by: Bernard Rose
Written by: Bernard Rose
Based On a Book?: No
Who/What is the Story About?: The life (and loves) of great composer Ludwig van Beethoven.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: I actually didn’t know a whole lot (that means nothing) about Beethoven’s life before writing this except for what I’d seen in the film. Doing my Googling now, I can see that I may as well have been watching fiction. In the words of movie critic Lewis Butler: “About the only things they got right were that Beethoven wrote the 9th Symphony and that he died.” Ouch. You can read the rest of his review here.
Why I Love It: Having not known how historically inaccurate it was before now will be my excuse for loving this as much as I did. Bah, who am I kidding? I’d have loved it anyways. It’s beautiful, schmoopy, and Gary Oldman gives a tour de force performance, as usual.

NUMBER 4

4 Party Monster

Title: Party Monster
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Seth Green, Chloë Sevigny, Dylan McDermott, Wilmer Valderrama, Wilson Cruz, Mia Kirshner, and Marilyn Manson
Released in: 2003
Directed by: Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato
Written by: Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato
Based On a Book?: Yes; Disco Bloodbath by James St James
Who/What is the Story About?: The rise and fall of legendary 90’s “club kid” Michael Alig.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: When asked if the film retained “the true vibe of it all”, James St James had this to say: “Well, was Cleopatra really like Elizabeth Taylor? Was Erin Brockovich anything like Julia Roberts? Movies are movies. They are meant to entertain. Was it a moment-by-moment depiction of our lives and our relationship? Oh my god no. But it captured the spirit of the times and that’s all you can hope for.” He has also expressed pure love for Seth Green and his performance.
Why I Love It: It’s fun, colourful, with great music and great performances, especially, as James has said, Seth Green’s. He ate up every inch of the screen while he was on it, and it was wonderful.

NUMBER 3

3 Gladiator

Title: Gladiator
Starring: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou, Spencer Treat Clark, Richard Harris, David Schofield, and John Shrapnel
Released in: 2000
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: David Franzoni, John Logan, William Nicholson
Based On a Book?: No
Who/What is the Story About?: An enslaved soldier determined to see the Emperor who murdered his family pay for his crimes.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: Well… Commodus was real, as were all the other members of his family. And that’s about it. Heroic Maximus is fiction. Commodus wasn’t the swellest dude around, but he was nowhere near as gross as he’s played on screen. Here’s a more detailed account of the historical untruths told by the film, on a cool blog called Historical Histrionics. Looks like he only did a few posts, though, which is a shame, because they’re well written.
Why I Love It: It’s actually thanks to this film, historical inaccuracies and all, that I got so interested in ancient history. I mean, I’d always been interested, especially in ancient Egypt, but seeing this really made me want to know more about ancient Rome. I was a little disappointed to find out how inaccurate this film actually is, but it didn’t make me love it any less.

NUMBER 2

2 Chaplin

Title: Chaplin
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Geraldine Chaplin, Paul Rhys, Moira Kelly, Anthony Hopkins, Dan Aykroyd, Marisa Tomei, Penelope Ann Miller, Kevin Kline, Maria Pitillo, and Milla Jovovich
Released in: 1992
Directed by: Richard Attenborough
Written by: William Boyd, Bryan Forbes, William Goldman
Based On a Book?: Yes; My Autobiography by Charles Chaplin, and Chaplin His Life and Art by David Robinson
Who/What is the Story About?: The life and work of legendary comedian Charlie Chaplin.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: I’m actually having some trouble looking stuff up. There’s lots of reviews of the film, but even Wikipedia doesn’t have much on whether or not it’s very accurate. As far as I can tell, it seems to pretty accurate, although there’s a lot cut out (the man lived to 88, you couldn’t get all that into one film), and they seem to gloss over some rather important stuff, while focusing on some more minor things. Gotta highlight the dramatic, I guess. This movie review was the one I found with the most historical information.
Why I Love It: This is the film that made me fall in love with Robert Downey Jr. He was ridiculously perfect for the role, and the rest of the film just falls perfectly into place around him. He should have won the Oscar that year. I’ve no idea who won, but I can tell you that he wasn’t as good as Robert.

NUMBER 1

1 Amadeus

Title: Amadeus
Starring: Tom Hulce, F Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice, Simon Callow, Christine Ebersole, Jeffrey Jones, and Charles Kay
Released in: 1984
Directed by: Milos Forman
Written by: Peter Shaffer
Based On a Book?: No, a play :-p Amadeus by Peter Shaffer
Who/What is the Story About?: The life, music, and death of musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
How Close to the Truth Is It?: Well… not very actually. In the words of movie critic Alex von Tunzelmann: “A deadly rivalry that never was, a dried-up bachelor who was actually a father of eight, and flops that were hits in reality … even getting Mozart’s toilet humour right cannot redeem it.” She definitely didn’t like the film. You can read the rest of her scathing review here.
Why I Love It: I knew going into it that it wasn’t historically accurate. And do I care? Not a lick. I know a biopic is supposed to tell a true story, and I am sorry that so many people think that this is the way things actually went down, but I’ll be damned if I don’t just love this film to pieces. Fart jokes and all.

 

What are your favourite biopics? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!

M.