Top 10 Horror Novels of All Time

I love to read. I always have, ever since I was a little kid. At school, my teachers would always be exasperated with me for reading in class. They didn’t want to be too harsh, because reading is good, but at the same time, I was supposed to be paying attention. Which I never did anyways, even when I wasn’t reading, hehe. Even from a very young age, I always preferred horror novels. My earliest recollection of novel reading has me going through the Fear Street and Goosebumps series of teen horror by RL Stine, and the horror novels by the likes of Christopher Pike, Richie Tankersley Cusick, Caroline B Cooney (I absolutely LOVED her vampire series!), and Diane Hoh, among other teen horror writers. I practically inhaled everything I got my hands on. Some kids bought candy with their hard-earned allowance; mine went almost exclusively to building my library, as I called it (and still do, actually). Soon, I’d “outgrown” the teen books (at the ripe old age of 13), and wanted something better. So my mom introduced me to Stephen King and Dean Koontz. It was a match made in heaven (or is it hell? :-p). These books were considerably more expensive than the teen paperbacks, but the good news was that my mom already had quite the library of her own, and, since she read the books too, she bought her own copies, so I didn’t have to. I’ve read almost every single book either author has ever written, except for the new stuff of the past few years. I’ve been reading less and less lately, not sure why. I still love it, but I seem to be less motivated to read. Or it’ll come in waves. Maybe I’m watching too much TV, and my brain is starting to rot out. What? *shrug* It could happen!

Anywho… For this post I’ll be listing down the top 10 horror novels of all time, in no particular order (since asking me to actually pick an all time favorite would be like asking a momma squid which of her babies she likes best. Momma squid have about 20000 kids at a time, in case that was too vague for y’all :-p) I’ve set a guideline for this list, to make it even easier for me to pick favorites. This list will be for single books only, no series. I’ll make another post with my favorite series’, but for this one, singles only. I’ve also kept my list to modern books. We all know that Dracula and The Picture of Dorian Gray are masterpieces, so they don’t really need to be in the list, where their place could be taken by something a little less obvious. So, without any further to-do, here’s my list of favorite horror novels!

 

Swan Song by Robert R McCammon

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I think if I did absolutely have to pick an all time favorite, this would be it. This book is so amazingly good, it’s almost unreal. I think it’s the one single book that I’ve read the most times. I don’t often re-read books. It happens, but not very much. I’ve read a few of the Anita Blake books twice, and maybe a King or Koontz book or two, but that’s it. This book, however, I must have read cover to cover at least 5 times. And there are lots of pages between those covers, over 1000 if I’m not mistaken. I’ve also bought more copies of this book than any other. I’ve bought it 3 times, I think, because I keep loaning it out to people who don’t give it back, and then, ultimately, I forget who had it. The story is simple enough at face value; the world has effectively ended after a world wide nuclear war. Survivors band together and try to rebuild a semblance of life. But they aren’t alone on the planet anymore, something evil now stirs. People’s faces are being engulfed by a scab-like mask, and when then finally break open, the truth will be known. Such a great book. I haven’t read it in a long time, I think maybe I’m due for another visit….

 

Faerie Tale by Raymond E Feist

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I read this one a very long time ago, so a lot of the books details are lost somewhere in my memory. But while I don’t remember the exact story, I do remember the effect it had on me; it scared the pants off of me, and filled me with a wonder that lasted long after the details were forgotten. I couldn’t tell you more than the very basic premise of the book right now, but I can tell you that I adored it and it’s still one of my very favorites. How do I know if I can’t remember the story? Cause I remember the feeling I had while reading it, and that’s the most important part. But here, give me a second to go read up on the book so I can give you a clear synopsis… *brb* … Well, that didn’t help much, but here’s what I got. The Hastings family, mom, pop, twin boys and a teenaged daughter, move to a new house surrounded by wilderness. At first they’re thrilled, but something appears to be wrong in the woods, and the children are afraid of “the Bad Thing” living under the bridge… I’m really going to have to reread this book. I want to remember exactly why I love this book so much! hehe

 

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice

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Alright, I know I said that this list is exclusively for single books, no series. But hear me out: I haven’t read the whole series, and since book 2 was pretty much a disappointment, especially after the perfection that was this first book, I probably won’t read the rest. So I can treat this book as a single book. Rowan Mayfair is a young woman who was adopted as a child, and knows nothing of her birth family. But, as she’s about to find out, she was born into a long line of witches who, as a birthright, are the guardians of a manipulative spirit called Lasher. When Rowan’s birth mother dies, and she becomes suddenly haunted by this spirit, she’s contacted by an organization called the Talamasca, and with their help she’s able to learn about the spirit, and her own heritage. Beautiful writing, but a word of warning: if you don’t like history, I wouldn’t recommend this novel. Rice is very wordy in this book, and she puts a very great deal of information in her descriptions. As a history buff, I loved it. But non-lovers of the subject will likely find the novel long-winded and boring.

 

Mystery Walk by Robert R McCammon

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Yes, another one by McCammon. He’s an incredible writer, and so under-rated. I always hear people talking about Stephen King or Dean Koontz, but I rarely hear this man’s name, and, really, he should be mentioned in the same breath as the other two. I’ve read this one two or three times as well, and I’d be due for another reading soon, as a lot of the details have faded from my over-saturated mind, hehe. The story’s a little complex, but at the core it’s 2 young men with unique gifts; one talks to the dead, one heals the living. Both are being influenced by outside sources, and the demons growing within need to be fought. Such a great story, with a great message too: just because something looks beautiful and pure, doesn’t mean it is.

 

The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub

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Another multi-reading novel. This one I’ve read 4 times, I think. Twice when I was a kid (cause, truthfully, I didn’t get it the first time round), then again in my early twenties, then again late twenties. It was such a good story that even with multiple readings, I still stayed as interested. It’s strange, I can watch movies or shows over and over, dozens of times, sometimes more, and if it’s something I love, I’ll never get bored. But books, generally, I’ll only read once, no matter how good it was. There are exceptions, of course, like the few on this list, but mostly I read something only once. I guess with the sheer amount of stuff there is to read still, that’s a good thing, after all! Young Jack Sawyer discovers that he’s able to “travel” to a parallel universe. He goes on a quest through this strange, new land to find a cure for his dying mother. It’s also first of two books, but it was a single book for a very long time, so I think it deserves to be here anyways. The sequel, Black House, is good, but doesn’t quite reach the same calibre as this one.

 

The Bad Place by Dean Koontz

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Here’s another book that I don’t remember the details of, but I remember that I adored it. If people ask “what’s your favourite Dean Koontz book?” I’ll usually answer with this one, even though I don’t remember it. At all, actually. I’m actively trying to remember it right now, and I’m drawing a complete blank. But, whatever, I remember I freaking loved it, lol. Goodreads says that it’s about a man, Frank, who seems to have some serious sleepwalking issues, waking up with blood on his hands and other bizarre things in the genre. Two men are hired to keep an eye on Frank, but real help comes in the form of a boy with Down’s Syndrome. I should really reread this book if I’m going to keep it on this list. I should be able to tell people what my favourite books are about without checking online, after all! :-p

 

The Stand by Stephen King

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Another Stephen King, but solo work this time. I was hesitating which King work to include in the list, going back and forth between this one and It. I decided, in the end, on this one, just cause the flying turtle with the tongue-biting and joke-telling from It was always a bit silly for my taste, while The Stand is all terror, no silly. The story is epically simple; a man-created super-virus accidentally escapes a military lab and proceeds to kill 90% of all humans on earth. The survivors band together on separate sides of the country, where depends on who they dream of. Those who dream of Mother Abigale, a frail 106 year old black woman, are called to Boulder, while those dreaming of the dark man, Randall Flagg, congregate to Las Vegas. The ultimate showdown between good and evil is brewing in the wastes of America. As good as the mini-series they did for TV was, it only got part of the story, so if you’ve only seen that and not read the book, you need to rectify the situation, pronto! There’s also a collection of graphic novels based on the book, I’d really like to check those out sometime, too.

 

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

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Most people are shocked to find out, but yes, The Exorcist was a book before it was a movie. I’d like to be all cool and say I read the book before the movie came out, but I’m not old enough to be able to make that claim. The movie came out in 1973, 8 years before I was even conceived, so alas, I can’t say that. But, I can still say that I read the book FIRST, before I watched the film. My mom was pretty lax on the rules about stuff I could watch and read. I started in the horror genre young, and she’d tried to stop me at first, but after realizing that I was going to keep watching and reading no matter what she said, and also seeing that I didn’t get the nightmares she’d threatened me with, she generally left me alone to chose what I wanted to read and watch. Except where The Exorcist was concerned. She didn’t want it in her house, and I figured she was already super nice to me about all the crap I watched, I could obey this one rule, so I didn’t see it until I moved out at 17. But the book I read (in one intense sitting) when I was 15. It was so good, so gripping, that once I picked it up, I didn’t put it down, not for a moment. I brought it with me everywhere that day, dinner table to toilet. It scared the crap out of me (not an easy feat, even back then) and made me cry like a baby at the end. A sure sign of a job well done. The story is famous, I don’t really need to do a synopsis, do I? Well, for the three or four people out there who don’t know, it’s the simple story of a child possessed by the devil, and the two priests who are trying to save her. Charming, no?

 

Sur le Seuil by Patrick Senécal

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So this is the first, and only, french entry on this list. Actually, this is the only french author that I read at all. I’m generally not a fan of french writing, either from France or Quebec, I don’t like their particular styles. It’s like french film and TV, there’s not much of it that I like, especially the stuff from here (Quebec). But I found, like with most rules, there was an exception. I started reading him purely by chance, but he hooked me from the beginning. I was on my way to meet my boyfriend (now ex) at his work. As I was on my way, he asked me to stop by the book and magazine shop at the subway station and by the latest book by french author Patrick Senécal, called Oniria. I did, then hopped on the train to go meet him. When I got to the café where he worked, though, his boss apparently had no intention of letting him go as planned. After much yelling, they agreed on an extra hour, as I pouted prettily in the corner (:-p). So armed with a free Italian soda, I flopped down into a seat to wait, and stared at the book in my hands. I shrugged, opened it up, and started to read. What followed was some of the weirdest crap I’ve ever had the pleasure to read, but it was good weird crap. I was hooked. After I was done that one, I went and bought all his previous books, and that included this one, Sur le Seuil. The story is pretty complicated, but it begins with a famous writer trying to kill himself by cutting his fingers off then throwing himself through a window. As that’s as close to normal as this world gets. I’m not sure if his work is translated in english, but if it has, or even better, if you can read french, I highly recommend this author, and this book first. Don’t be tricked into watching the movie first, though. It’s not bad, but really crappy in comparison to the book.

 

Winter Moon by Dean Koontz

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When it came to making a list of my 10 favourite horror novels, the first 9 just came flowing out no problem. But then I came to write down the title of the tenth and final book, and a I drew a complete blank. I stared at my little paper for a while, humming and hawing. There are a lot of books I’ve loved, but which ones along with the ones already on my list are the most memorable? So I thought for a while, going through some others that could have easily gone here; a few by Koontz, a few by King, The Amityville Horror by Jay Ansen, The Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko. In the end, I decided to go with another by Koontz, this time it’s his take on the vampire genre. And now that I’m sitting here thinking about it, I realize that’s all I remember from the story. How bad is that!! LoL But I remember that I was nicely creeped out while reading it, and I remember saying for months after how awesome it was. So I guess that means it was! One of these days I’ll read through all the books on this list, just to make sure they all still belong here. I’m not worried though. I’m sure they do.

And there they are, my top 10 horror novels of all time. Hope you enjoyed it, take care till next time! 🙂

M.

Top 15 Episodes of Supernatural

Supernatural is one of my favourite shows, but I came into it surprisingly late. Season 5 was well under-way before I decided to give the show a chance, and that was just because my husband had borrowed the first 4 seasons on dvd from his brother. I had heard of it before then, but, even despite it being exactly the kind of thing that I love, I’d never been interested enough to watch it. With the dvd’s laying around, and my husband telling me how good it was, I finally decided to watch. And from the first scene in the Pilot episode, I was hooked. I watched those first 4 seasons in a few short weeks, then lamented the injustice of having to wait for new episodes every week. It’s lost some of it’s steam over the years (it should have stopped at 6 seasons, while it was still amazing), but it’s still entertaining. I’ve fallen behind on my Supernatural, though. I have so much stuff that I want to watch that I’ve only made it a bit more than halfway through season 8. I’ve also been in a very “nature documentary” mood lately, but I digress. There were plenty of episodes to chose from, but I was finally able to whittle it down to 15. The episodes are in approximate order. I can’t really say for certain which episode is my all-time favourite, so I just quickly put them in an order that looked about right. So without further ado, here are the top 15 episodes of Supernatural.

 

15 – Changing Channels, season 5 episode 8

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The Trickster traps Sam and Dean in a TV world where they have to act out their roles to make it out. They navigate through a bunch of different genres from doctor and cop dramas to sitcoms and genital herpes commercials. At the end they find out that Loki isn’t Loki at all, but the Archangel Gabriel, and he wants the brothers to accept their fate as vessels for his brothers. I loved Gabriel, and was very, very upset to see him go. I keep hoping the writers will find a way to bring him back. This is Supernatural, after all. Nothing really stays dead.

 

14 – Monster Movie, season 4 episode 5

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A small town celebrating Oktoberfest is under assault from several different monsters; or so it would seem. Sam and Dean investigate a “vampire attack” that looks like a classic Dracula did the job. Knowing that vampires have a full row of fangs, and not just 2 as the victim showed, the brothers are perplexed. Things get even weirder as more deaths occur, each molded after a classic horror movie monster. They find the culprit is a shapeshifter, who’s loneliness drove him to try recreate his favorite films, complete with victims and a damsel in distress. Great, fun episode. Filmed in black and white, for that authentic old movie feel, hehe.

 

13 – The Curious Case of Dean Winchester, season 5 episode 7

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Dean plays poker with a warlock where the chips aren’t worth money, they’re worth years of life. While trying to win Bobby back his life, Dean looses 50 years, and ends up almost 80 years old. While the much aged Dean and Bobby try find the warlock’s DNA for a spell, Sam puts it all on the line, playing the warlock for Dean’s years. I liked this episode not just for the fun of seeing Dean react to his current state (which is pretty awesome by itself), but that the “bad guy” isn’t really bad. He’s not exactly good, but he’s not evil. He doesn’t cheat at poker, but let’s just say 900 years of playing has made him damn near unbeatable. I liked that they portrayed him like that, not evil, just a guy.

 

12 – Hollywood Babylon, season 2 episode 18

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Posing as PA’s, the brothers investigate a death and ghostly sighting on the set of a horror film. After the first sighting is proved to be a hoax publicity stunt, a real death occurs, and Sam hits the Net hoping to find any links to the set. I’m not sure why I like this one so much, but I do. I guess I like the idea of a haunted horror film.

 

11 – Dark Side of the Moon, season 5 episode 16

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Sam and Dean are shot and killed. You’d think that would be the end of the series, but of course, this being Supernatural, it’s not. The brothers end up in Heaven, where they find Ash and Pamela. On the run from Zachariah, they try to find the angel Joshua, who is rumoured to be the only one who’s able to talk directly to God. Once they find him, they are deflated to find out that God won’t help, that he doesn’t really care. Any opportunity to see the boys happy is a good episode. I miss good old Sam and Dean stuff. They’ve had so much stuff happen to them and they keep creating wedges between the brothers, it’s a wonder that they speak to each other at all anymore.

 

10 – Heart, season 2 episode 17

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Sparks fly when Sam is assigned guard duty to the lovely Madison, who the brothers believe is in danger of a werewolf attack. The ending of this episode is absolutely abysmal, I still can’t believe they did that to poor Sam. It has me in tears every time I watch it.

 

9 – Mystery Spot, season 3 episode 11

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You wouldn’t think that Dean dying would make for perfect comedy material, but it does. This is both one of the funniest and one of the tensest episodes of the whole series. While investigating a so-called “Mystery Spot”, Dean is shot and killed. After he dies in Sam’s arms, Sam snaps awake, only to find himself waking to the day that just happened. He goes through the day again, increasingly confused, and makes a different call for investigating the mystery spot, one that won’t get Dean killed. Dean dies again, however, and as soon as he does, Sam is once again back in bed, waking up on tuesday morning. The montage of Dean’s deaths, despite the subject matter, is freaking hilarious. He gets killed by everything from a dog to a falling piano to a “funky” tasting sandwich. Turns out the Trickster is behind this, to show Sam that he’ll have to go it alone, after Dean’s deal ends.

 

8 – Bitten, season 8, episode 4

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This is the only entry from the last two seasons (well three now, I guess, since season 9’s well underway). I’ve been less than impressed with the last seasons. There have a been a few good stand-alone episodes, but the seasons as a whole are pretty meh. But still, pretty meh Supernatural is still better than most of the drivel that’s on TV now. I’ve seen some of the stuff my mom tapes and ugh! It ranges from “meh” to “horrifying”. Anyways… I’m getting side-tracked again. So here they decided to tackle the “found-footage” genre that’s so popular right now (and this needs to stop. No really, we’ve had enough.) I’m not a huge fan of this, unless it’s done right. And this one was. We follow a cute geek, Brian, and his roommate / best friend, Michael. They meet a cute girl, Kate, and both fall for her, she picks Michael. Being film students, they’re making a film about life in a small town, and they’re bringing their cameras wherever they go, filming everything. Michael is bitten one night while walking through a park. He tells Brian and Kate, but no one else. Sam and Dean are seen in the film through the students’ eyes; two FBI agents investigating the recent deaths in the area, where the heart had been removed. Brian gets jealous of Michael’s newfound “powers”, and begs him to bite him too. They really hit the nail on the head with this one. Both the drama and the horror were very effectively done. They found some good little actors to play the students, which is good. Good acting is always important, but even more so in a found-footage film.

 

7 – Dead Man’s Blood, season 1 episode 20

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Supernatural‘s take on vampires, of course it’s on this list! I don’t particularly like the rows of fangs they’re sporting, but the rest of the mythos is great. I’m not one of those who gets offended if the vamps don’t burn in the sunlight, so that part didn’t bother me. The only thing that bothered me is the same thing that bothers me in countless other vampire films and shows: the fact that (in this episode, anyways) being turned equals automatically being evil, there’s no choice. They changed it in future vamp-centric episodes (for which I was very glad), most notably in the season 6 episode Live Free or Twi-Hard (which was thisclose to being on this list, such an awesome episode), in which Dean is vampirized. But in this episode, a woman and her husband are kidnapped by a group of vamps. The husband is killed, the wife gets turned. She’s still tied down when Sam and Dean sneak through the lair to find the Colt, but as soon as she wakes, while Sam is untying her, she yells alerting the others that there’s an intruder about. So, what, now that she’s a vampire she doesn’t care that they just murdered her husband? I don’t care if you’ve granted me the gift of eternal life, if you killed my husband, I’m not going to be on your side! I prefer the type of vampire that remains who he/she was before being turned. I like the conflict of who you used to be versus what you have to do to live now. But, of course, there are many, many more films and shows with automatically evil vamps than without, so I do like it anyways. Also, the lead vamp is extra yummy. Oh yeah.

 

6 – Lazarus Rising, season 4 episode 1

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Our introduction to Castiel. Wonderful, beautiful, angelic Castiel. Pulled out of Hell, Dean wakes up in a pine box under the ground. Panicking, he’s finally able to dig himself out. He finds himself perfectly healthy and unhurt, except for a hand-shaped mark on his upper arm. He goes to find Sam, who, after the original shock of seeing Dean alive and not a demon, is over-joyed to have his brother back. But Dean doesn’t seem to have come back alone, as he’s being ambushed by an unseen entity. They consult a psychic friend of Bobby’s and she holds a seance to find out who, or what, pulled Dean out of Hell. Imagine their surprise when they find out it wasn’t a demon, but an angel who rescued Dean. The first time we see Castiel, with the lights exploding, and the lightning flashes, and those giant wings… ah, leaves me weak in the knees every time.

 

5 – What Is and What Should Never Be, season 2 episode 20

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While hunting a Djinn, Dean is transported to a world in which his mother didn’t die in that fire. His father is dead, but he died of a stroke, nothing supernatural. He’s not as close with Sam as he was, but Jessica is alive and they’re getting married. Dean has a beautiful girl of his own, who apparently loves him completely. Dean, at first, is over-joyed to live in a world with no demons. But his happiness is put on hold when, after doing some research, he finds that all the people he and Sam and their father saved are all dead now, since the Winchesters aren’t hunters here. He has to make a choice: find the Djinn to undo the “wish” so that all those people get saved, or stay in this world with his family intact.

 

4 – Sex and Violence, season 4 episode 14

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“Strippers, Sammy! An actual case, with strippers!” So says Dean at the beginning of this episode, where the brothers are following the trail of a seductive Siren. She feeds on love and devotion, and she’s making men kill their wives to show their devotion. A young FBI agent assigned to the case joins Dean on his hunt, while Sam “consults” with a local doctor. Which one is the Siren? Soon enough, of course, both brothers are under her spell and she wants them to fight over her. To the death.

 

3 – Something Wicked, season 1 episode 18

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Following their father’s directive, the brothers head to a town where children are falling into comas with no apparent cause. Dean recalls a similar case from his childhood, a Shtriga, where Sam was nearly a victim and it was able to get away. John sent Dean there because he knew Dean felt bad about letting it get away the first time, and would want to get it himself. After his little brother is hospitalized, the motel manager’s son lets Dean use him as bait for the creature.

 

2 – Asylum, season 1 episode 10

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Supernatural-does-House-on-Haunted-Hill is how I’d describe this episode. And it does it well. A boy and his girlfriend are attacked after sneaking into the supposedly haunted asylum, but lucky for them, Sam and Dean are there, too. There are spirits everywhere, but they’re only trying to help to stop the doctor who also died here. Sam is lured into the basement by a phone call from not-really-Dean, and comes face to face with the doctor. Under the doctor’s rage spell, Sam shoots Dean full of rock salt then goes for the real gun…

 

1 – Provenance, season 1 episode 19

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It’s no wonder that the top 3 episodes in the list are from season 1, it’s still the best one. Both Pilot and Bloody Mary (episodes 1 and 5) were almost in the list too, but I decided to give the other seasons a chance. After discovering that all the owners of a particular painting were killed, Sam and Dean investigate an art dealership. Sparks fly when Sam meets the dealer’s beautiful daughter, Sarah, and he asks her out on a date. Horrified when the painting they’d thought destroyed was back in one piece, the boys go to the latest owners house, with Sarah in tow, to hopefully save her. The ghost in question is the little girl in the painting, Jodelle Ferland giving us her very best “creepy dead kid”, which she does so well (see exhibits A and B, Silent Hill and Cabin in the Woods).

So, that’s it. Took me much longer than I’d anticipated to finish this one, I kept on blocking while I was trying to write. Ever happen to you that suddenly you’re just staring blankly at the screen, mind empty? Well that’s been happening to me all morning. I dunno if it’s cause I’m tired, or what, but just getting these words out was incredibly tasking. So you’d better enjoy them!! Hehe. Like I said up top, I’m not sure all the episodes are in very real order, but that’s the basic of it.

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 26 to 30

All right, this is it, the last day! Sorry for the delay, my few but loyal readers, I’ve had quite the busy past few days, and have been paying for it today (so worth it though), so I haven’t had time (or energy) to take out the ol’ laptop. But, as I’m feeling better now, we can finish up this list. So let’s get to it!!

 

Day 26 – Best Horror Movie for a Chicken: Hocus Pocus

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Ok, so technically, this isn’t really horror. But for a film that was clearly aimed at teens, it does have a surprising amount of horror-esque scenes, not to mention some of the subject matter. So for someone who is a real chicken, something like this would be perfect for them, not too scary, while still entertaining. Three witch sisters want to stay young and, err, “beautiful” forever. To do this they capture children, and suck the life-force right out of them (which we witness. See? Pretty dark already, for a kid’s movie). Standing in their way are three teens and a talking cat, who’s not really a cat, but a boy whom the witches cursed after killing his sister. One of my favorite Halloween films when I was a kid, and I still enjoy it today. If you find yourself almost peeing your pants in fright every time a horror movie is on, Hocus Pocus is the film for you. Wimp.

 

Day 27 – Horror Guilty Pleasure: The Covenant

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I don’t really have a guilty pleasure, because that would suggest that I feel guilty about liking anything. Which I don’t. I like what I like, and I really don’t care what other people say about it. But, that said, I do know what it means. I chose The Covenant as my “guilty pleasure” because, in general, horror fans like to crap on this movie. It’s not really a very good movie. The acting is mostly sloppy, the story is a little dumb, the effects and dialogue are both cheezy, and yet I have a great time whenever I decide to watch it. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and yes, the actors are all pretty boys with rippling abs. The movie is basically just an excuse to ogle some man-beauty, and, really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

Day 28 – Horror Film I’d Like to See Remade: Night Watch

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Night Watch, by Sergei Lukyanenko, is the first in a trilogy of Russian horror novels (Day Watch and Twilight Watch are the others). It was such an amazing book, with cool and interesting ideas, that I was intensely excited when I heard they were making a movie of it. It was to be a Russian production, but I didn’t care since I’ve evolved a very special feature called “reading subtitles”. You’d be surprised to know how few humans possess such a gift. But I digress. Finally, after months of waiting, it was available for purchase here, and I scooped that shit right up and prepared to have the time of my life. About halfway through the film, I couldn’t do it any more, and turned it off. Night Watch has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing, and I’ve seen a lot. The story was basically the same, but the acting… oh my god, the acting. It was horrible. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I was so disappointed, because the book is incredible. So if I were to choose any film to be remade, this would be it. I’m not loosing hope that they’ll do it eventually, and do it right this time *fingers crossed*

 

Day 29 – Worst Horror Film Ever: The ABC’s of Death

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This film is so awful, I don’t even want to talk about it. But since it’s the top film in this category, I have to. So I will. Briefly. The ABC’s of Death has a cool concept: 26 directors each get a letter of the alphabet and make their own short film about a word starting with that letter. It sounded interesting, and I was looking forward to watching it. But it wasn’t interesting, it was just bad. The kind of bad that makes your eyes hurt and your nose bleed. I sat through the whole thing (although I’ll admit that I skipped forward a few times), and no matter how many times I said to myself “well, this couldn’t possibly get any worse”, wouldn’t you know it, it got worse. Not a single of the segments is worth watching, and I feel violated and slightly nauseous for having to sit through that. And yet, apparently, it was popular enough to warrant a sequel. What the hell is wrong with you people??? Ugh…

 

Day 30 – All Time Favorite Horror Film: The Lost Boys

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So this is it, the film that could have gone into a few different categories, but I was saving the best for last. The Lost Boys has been my favourite film since I first saw it at the ripe old age of 7. My mother bought it on VHS and hid it, because it was “too scary”. I must have watched it at least a dozen times before she caught me. This film is everything a good vampire story needs to be. It’s got tense moments, funny moments, likeable characters (heroes and villains), not to mention a bitchin soundtrack. I was so in love with this movie that I could, starting from the beginning, recite the whole film. And it didn’t even have to be on. Once a friend of mine and I played out the whole film, start to finish, every single line, just for fun. I also had a major crush on Sam (played perfectly by a pre-drug-crazed Corey Haim). The film may have it’s faults, but I don’t see them. To me, it’s absolutely perfect.

 

And there you have it. The 30 Day Horror Challenge, accepted and completed! Thanks for reading, and stick around for even more entertaining shenanigans soon! 🙂

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 21 to 25

Just two days left!! Let’s go!

Day 21 – Best Horror Franchise: Scream

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So, I had a bit of trouble coming up with the answer to this one. There are franchise films that I liked a lot more than Scream, as good as it was, but the problem is, as with most franchises, the first film is great, and then the rest suck. So while Nightmare on Elm Street is still one of my favourite horror films, I can’t say that it’s the best franchise, because most of the sequels sucked. The same thing happened with Saw. Everything good about that first film was sucked dry and robbed of all life in the 3000 or so sequels that came after. So even though Scream‘s sequels were nowhere near as good as the first one (especially the second one), I can still say that I liked all the films in the franchise. I don’t think there’s a single other horror franchise that I can say the same thing of.

 

Day 22 – Best Death Scene: Blind Mag, Repo! The Genetic Opera

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This category was especially hard to choose. The number of horror films I’ve seen is quite staggering, so that means that death scenes are as numerous as the stars. There have been so many cool ones, that choosing just one favorite is impossible. There have been hilarious ones (Pee Wee’s death in Buffy the Vampire Slayer gets me every time), scary ones, gross ones, quick deaths, slow deaths, messy deaths, clean deaths… the list goes on and on. So what I did was choose the first cool one that came to mind, and after flipping through the dozens of generic deaths that popped into my mind, I settled on this one: Blind Mag’s suicide/murder from Repo! The Genetic Opera (which, if you haven’t seen it already, you need to, right now). A little hard to describe, Repo is a goth musical, the story of a chronically ill girl who lives in a world where transplanted organs can be repossessed if the patient is unable to pay for them, and a world where surgery is the fashion craze. Sounds weird, I know, but it’s amazing. There are many deaths deaths in the film, but the one that stands out the most is Blind Mag’s, an opera singer who’s blind eyes were replaced with cybertronic ones years ago. But Mag has had enough being the company’s puppet, and decides to break her contract, knowing full well that her eyes will be taken from her, and not kindly. After a beautiful stage performance ending with her being lifted from the stage by a harness, she simply states that she would rather be blind, and as an ultimate “fuck you” destroys her very expensive eyes by poking them out with long claws on her fingers, effectively committing suicide before the repo man can get her. A moment after her eyes are gone, her harness is cut, and she plummets to the stage, ending up impaled on part of the scenery. It’s horrible, yet strangely beautiful, and very memorable, which is why I chose it for this list.

 

Day 23 – Best Quote from a Horror Film: From Dusk Till Dawn

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Another category that was hard to decide on. Horror movies are often known for their snappy dialogue (ok, good horror movies are often known for their snappy dialogue), so choosing just one quote was hard. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go for a classic quote or something obscure, something funny or something serious, something light or something tense. So as with the death scene, I just let my mind wander for a moment, and picked the first cool one that came to mind. This time inspiration came from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino‘s From Dusk Till Dawn. It’s the end of the film, and our hero and the girl are the last two standing after a night-long battle with vampires in the Mexican strip club the Titty Twister. Seth’s contact finally arrives with sun, and after the doors to the club get thrown wide open, the remaining vampires burst into flame and explode. The contact, intelligent individual that he is, asks “So what were they? Psychos?” to which Seth famously answers: “Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!”

 

Day 24 – Best Serial Killer Film: The Silence of the Lambs

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I love serial killers. I’ve got this weird, morbid fascination with them. I watch a lot of true crime stuff, read true crime books, and of course, I love serial killer fiction as well. But, to be specific, not slasher stuff, “real” serial killer fiction. Stuff like Friday the 13th, Halloween or Texas Chainsaw, while technically about serial killers, are not the kind of films I mean (those bore me). I mean films like Mr Brooks, Seven, The Frozen Ground, Psycho, Frailty, Zodiac, Copycat, The Raven, Clay Pigeons, From Hell, Identity, Natural Born Killers (even though I didn’t like it), and, of course, the TV show Dexter. But the best of the best is still, even 21 years later, The Silence of the Lambs. Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill are still two of the creepiest serial killers ever to be captured on film, and it’s still, to my knowledge, the only horror film not only to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture, but to win it. And it was very much earned. I don’t think there’s a horror fan on the planet that hasn’t seen it, but if by chance you haven’t, do so.

 

Day 25 – Best Holiday Horror Film: Ginger Snaps

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When people think holiday horror, the first thing they think of is Christmas. So I decided to do something different and choose another holiday (mostly because I couldn’t really think of a good Christmastime horror movie :-p ). I chose Halloween, because it’s my favorite holiday of the year, and has been since I was a kid. Despite the ton of gifts you get at Christmas as a kid, I’ve always preferred Halloween. I loved dressing up (still do), even if I didn’t go trick-or-treating. And there are many more horror movies set during Halloween, for obvious reasons. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to go with the Canadian film Ginger Snaps for this category. It’s fun, it’s bloody, it’s smartly written, well acted and has cool practical effects. Werewolf films are hard to do without getting schlocky, but Ginger Snaps managed just fine. Also, Katherine Isabelle is a fox. Phew. And she loves making horror films, good news for us pervy horror fans!

 

One day left, so stay tuned!!

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 16 to 20

Alright, enough slacking. Let’s get back to business!

Day 16 – Best Horror Movie Soundtrack: Twilight

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I know what you’re thinking, so just don’t :-p While the scariest thing about Twilight is Kristen Stewart‘s acting, it’s still about vampires and werewolves, so it technically qualifies as horror. And yes, I enjoy these films. Is Bella a good role model for teenage girls? Definitely not. Do I care? Not in the slightest. The films are fun, schmoopy, and have nice eye candy. It also has one of the most beautifully haunting soundtracks I’ve ever heard. I can listen to the score over and over, and it gets to me every time. Just beautiful. In the following video, my favorite is number 9, The Skin of a Killer, which starts at about 18:11.

 

Day 17 – Best 80’s Horror: Fright Night

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The 80’s were both awesome and awful at the same time. The decade that gave us some of the very best films, also decided to give us the worst. And the fashion… well what can be said about shoulder pads and tassels, really? The 80’s also gave us Fright Night, one of the most amazing vampire films ever to be put on celluloid. The acting is sometimes scary, the effects are “very 80’s”, the story pretty generic, but despite all that, there’s nothing you can say that will convince me that this isn’t one of the greatest things to come out of the whole decade. (Again, there was another film that would have gone here, but I’m still saving it for later. It’s worth the wait, believe me.) Fright Night is the story of teenager Charley, who becomes (rightly) convinced that his new neighbour, Jerry, is a vampire who’s murdering women. With his girlfriend Amy and best friend Evil by his side, he enlists the help of horror tv host Peter Vincent to slay the vampire (played to delicious perfection by the scrumptious Chris Sarandon). It’s campy, funny, sometimes tense and absolutely perfect.

 

Day 18 – Best Black and White Horror Film: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

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So, technically, The Last Man on Earth should go here, but I’m trying not to double up my answers. So I picked my second favorite, the 1956 alien flick Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This seemingly timeless film has a man finding that strange things are happening in his small town. People are turning into emotionless beings, who look and act like they used to, but those closest to the affected know something’s not right. One of the earliest films, to my knowledge, to have such an abysmal ending. Great, great film, that wouldn’t be out of place in cinemas today. (And that’s saying something about a 50’s film!)

 

Day 19 – Best Use of Gore: Event Horizon

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As I’ve said before, I’m not really a huge fan of the gore flick. Some is fine, even a lot is fine, if it fits in with the story, and is well done. But gore just for the sake of gore? That’s just gross for nothing, pointless splatter, and I don’t like that. Event Horizon has a good amount of gore, but the film is so good that the gore really doesn’t take away from the film at all. (Although, I’ve seen pictures of some of the deleted scenes, and I have to say I’m glad they got cut. I think it would have made the film go from amazing to pointlessly gory.) When a crew is sent to salvage a ship that’s been lost in deep space for years, they realize that it might not be as empty as it first seems. Well acted, well written and yes, well gorified.

 

Day 20 – Favorite Character in Horror: Dracula

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Is anyone really surprised here? There’s not much more to say. I love everything vampire, so it kinda goes without saying that my favorite horror movie character would be Dracula, in his many guises. The hard part was deciding which Dracula to post a picture of here, there have been so many. From the classic Bela Lugosi, the nightmare-inducing Max Schreck, the charismatic Gary Oldman, the beautiful Gerard Butler, the campy Christopher Lee, the slightly anemic looking Rudolf Martin or, most recently, the ridiculously attractive Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, there is no way to choose just one favorite. They’re all good in their own way. So I chose a picture of Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000, and a clip from Oldman’s 1992 Dracula.

 

And that’s a wrap for now! Stay tuned for Days 21 to 25, coming soon! 🙂

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 11 to 15

Alright, let’s get right into this.

Day 11 – Favorite Horror Comedy: Cabin in the Woods

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Before Cabin in the Woods came out, this spot was long occupied by Army of Darkness. As I’ve said before, I really didn’t like The Evil Dead, or it’s sequel. But Army of Darkness made me laugh so hard the first time I saw it, I almost peed myself. It was definitely the horror comedy to beat, and Cabin did it, and them some. When I originally saw the trailers, how they set it up didn’t really make me want to see it much, it looked like just another slasher flick. I figured I’d see it at some point once it was out on dvd or Netflix. But then after it came out, I noticed, on Facebook, as one by one my friends saw it and raved about it. I was told, often, that I absolutely NEEDED to go see this on the big screen. Not understanding why such a generic slasher could cause such a fuss, I went to IMDb to read up a bit on it, and that’s when I saw it: Written by Joss Whedon. So I grabbed my mom, and went to see it in the cinema as soon as I possibly could. And it was the greatest thing since, well, everything. It was absolutely hilarious, and yet still managed to be scary at the same time, something Army of Darkness wasn’t able to do. And of course, that ending… I don’t use the word “epic” much, but that’s exactly what it was. Epic. It had epicdom in spades. If you happen to be one of the three horror fans on the planet who hasn’t seen this film yet, I won’t spoil it for you. But I will say WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? Go see it, now! No really, stop reading my silly little blog, and go see it. Schnell!!

 

Day 12 – Most Disturbing Horror Film: Stephen King’s It

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This film is occupying this slot for one reason, and one reason only. Pennywise the fucking Dancing Clown. I saw this film when it first aired as a two part mini-series in ’90 (based on the Stephen King novel of the same name), and it scared the ever-living snot out me. No, it’s not the best film, some of the acting is a little shakey, some of the dialogue is a little hokey (you have to remember that it was made for early ’90s televison), but that clown. That goddamned clown. I watch it every couple of years, and it still gets to me, 23 years later. I’ve heard whispers that they’re looking to remake it for the big screen. If they get anyone but Tim Curry to play the role, I think I may just boycott it, because he was it. No one else could fill those ridiculously big shoes. Oh yes, they float. They all float down here. Ugh, I got goosebumps just writing that…

 

Day 13 – Favorite Zombie Film: Warm Bodies

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I’m not the biggest fan of the zombie movie. I’ve seen the original Night of the Living Dead, and while I enjoyed it, it’s definitely not my favorite anything. I just find the whole genre a little dumb. It has to be really good, and contain a lot more than just shambling dead folks to keep my attention. When I saw the trailers for Warm Bodies, I almost peed myself. A zombie comedy that also has a love story? I definitely had to see this. It was way funnier than I had even expected, while still managing to have some good, tense moments, and the romance, while really being the whole point of the “humanizing” that’s happening to the shufflers, is not shoved in your face. Anyone saying that this is just Twilight with zombies needs to shut up and actually go see the movie.

 

Day 14 – Favorite Indie Horror: The Woman in Black

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From Hammer Films, the gods of indie horror, The Woman in Black is an almost perfect piece of film-making. Daniel Radcliffe ups his game, putting Harry Potter far from our minds as Arthur Kipps, a young widowed father who goes to a small town to settle the estate of an old woman who has just passed away. But things in the sprawling mansion are not as quiet as they first seems. This film is tense, atmospheric, an amazing study in gothic horror. The boo!scares are kept to a minimum, which is always a pleasant surprise. Too many films are relying on those these days. Yes, it gives you a fright, but it’s not a “real” fright. Very, very well done. I may even use the word masterpiece. Yes, I think I will. This film is a masterpiece.

 

Day 15 – Favorite Monster Movie: Watchers

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For this category, almost anything could be called a monster, so I decided to cut out everything that often has it’s own sub-genres (vampires, werewolves, ghosts, aliens, etc), and went straight to “undefined” monsters. Watchers gets a lot of flack from people who loved the novel (by Dean Koontz) for being almost nothing like it. And yes, it’s true. Book and movie don’t have a whole lot in common. But if you’re able to put the novel out of your head while watching, it’s a pretty entertaining piece of film. The acting and effects are mostly pretty crappy, but it’s still a fun, campy popcorn flick. Plus, I totally had a major crush on Corey Haim.

 

Thanks for reading and stay tuned tomorrow for Days 16 to 20! 🙂

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 6 to 10

No fanfare needed, let’s continue this list.

Day 6 – Favorite Vampire movie: Interview with the Vampire

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Anyone who knows me even just a little will be able to tell you that I love vampires. Throw a rock in my house and chances are good that it’ll hit something vampire-related. I’ve seen so many vampire films, and I’ve enjoyed almost all of them to one extent or another. For me not to like it, a vampire film has to really be a truly colossal piece of shit. So trying to pick one single favorite vampire movie is like trying to pick the prettiest star in the sky. There’s one that I would have put here without question, but I’m saving it for later. So for this category, I’ll go with Interview with the Vampire, based on the novel of the same name by Anne Rice. When I first heard of this film, I was super excited… until I heard who was playing in it. To say I’m not particularly a fan of Tom Cruise is an understatement, and Brad Pitt was definitely not the first face to come to mind when I thought of the character of Louis. And I wasn’t the only one less than thrilled by the casting. Anne Rice herself was apparently livid when she found out Tom Cruise was playing Lestat. All that changed, however (for her and for me), after the movie came out. I saw it and fell in love with it immediately. It’s so well done, beautifully acted, shot and filmed. Some movies I watch once or twice, and even if I love them don’t feel the need to watch them again. Others, like Interview, I can watch time and time again and never get bored of it.

Day 7 – Horror Film I Think No One Has Seen: The Club

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This film is so little known that doing a Google image search yielded exactly 5 pictures, all of them crappy. Even the film’s IMDb page has no pictures. During the graduating class’s high school prom, a strange man named John is amongst the students. He wants them to join his very exclusive club, you see. Initiation is simple, all you have to do is commit suicide… or murder. It’s a campy piece of film, but quite enjoyable for those who enjoy the genre. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.

Day 8 – Favorite Foreign Horror Film: The Eye

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Since I’m from Canada, I could have gone with any film from the States and it would technically be a foreign film. But that would be cheating. So for this category, we go to China for the Pang Brothers’ extremely creepy ghost story, The Eye. Mun is a young lady who’s been blind all her life. After a cornea transplant, she starts seeing things that she’s unsure if they’re real or not. She slowly realizes that she’s able to see things that other people can’t, and goes on a trip to Singapore to find who her new eyes used to belong to, and what this person is trying to tell her. Such an amazing film, scary, tense and very well acted. The elevator scene (that almost killed me the first time round) gets my heart pumping every time.

Day 9 – Favorite Supernatural Horror: The Sixth Sense

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Since I’m not a huge fan of the slasher flick, pretty much all the horror films I watch, and the ones I love the most, are technically in the supernatural category. But I decided to go with what the creator of this list probably meant, and that’s ghost stories. I do love me a good old haunting. I remember when I saw The Sixth Sense for the first time. I went to see it at the cinema with my cousin. And we were both so blown away by that ending, we went back to see it again right after, just to see if we could spot any mistakes that would have the twist make no sense. We didn’t see any. Too bad so many of the director’s subsequent films sucked…

Day 10 – Horror Film Everyone Loved, But I Didn’t: Suspiria

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As with the film I thought I like, but didn’t, so many films could have gone here. The Shining, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Alien, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, all boring-ass films that everyone seems to love. But the worst has to be Suspiria. Much like Kubrick, I will never understand Dario Argento‘s appeal. I’ve seen a few of his films, and they’re all horrible. Like a whole new level of horrible. Sure, they’re pretty and bright, but a good film that does not make. The acting was painful, effects laughable and the story… so… bloody… slow. I do like me a good slow burn, but at some point, something has to happen. A bright red murder after every 25 minutes of watching someone walk around doesn’t count as something happening. Really. The only thing this film has going for it is that awesome theme song by Goblin.

That’s it for tonight! 11 to 15 coming up tomorrow! 🙂

M.

30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 days): Days 1 to 5

So, I’ve already done a movie challenge like this before on my Facebook, which was pretty fun. But when I came across this one, I found it even funner, but didn’t want to stretch it out over 30 days again. So I’ll do 5 a day, for 6 days instead. So without any muss or fuss, let’s get into it.

Day 1 – First Horror Film: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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I was three years old when this film came out, so I obviously didn’t see it in theaters. But I remember seeing it, hidden in the hallway, peering from behind something, when I was 4 years old. It’s a vague memory, but it’s there. My teenaged cousins were babysitting me and, thinking I was safely tucked away in my bed, started the film. I’m not sure how much of it I got watch before they caught me, but it was a significant amount. And from that moment on, I became a fan of horror films. I watched as many as I could sneak, until my mother finally got tired of catching me at it and, seeing that they didn’t give me nightmares (or turn me into a psychopath), just let me watch (and read) what I wanted.

Day 2 – Last Horror Film Seen in the Cinema: Evil Dead

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I love going to the cinema, and I don’t get to go nearly as often as I’d like. Most of that is due to the fact that where I live they don’t always have the films in their original versions, and I refuse to see dubbed films. So I’ve only probably seen about 5 films in the last year, and only two of them were horror, I think. So the last horror film I saw in the cinema’s was this summer’s Evil Dead remake (or reboot, whatever you want to call it). Now, I wasn’t a fan of the original film. I saw it late, in either the very late 90’s or early 00’s, and I guess the magic of it was lost on me. I found it stupid and dull and not remotely scary and more than a little silly. Which was a shame because the story (while very simple) was still interesting. So when I heard that they were remaking the film, and promising that it be “the most terrifying film you ever experience”, I was looking forward to it. So while in Montreal one weekend this summer, I grabbed a friend and prepared to be terrified. Well, terrified I wasn’t, but it was still quite a good film, the acting and effects all much much better than the original. I’m not a huge fan of excessive gore, though, so I spent a good amount of time staring at my friend’s shoulder. It doesn’t scare me, it just makes me slightly sick, so I’d rather not.

Day 3 – Favorite Classic Horror: The Last Man on Earth

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I love old movies. I always have. But they have to be good old movies. I’m not a fan of the extra cheesy (unless it’s superbly done), and I need a good story to keep me interested. I can even overlook some not-so-great acting if the story is really good (which is a good thing, because unfortunately a lot of old films have pretty shabby acting). Vincent Price is, by far, my favorite old timey actor, and of all his films, my very favorite is The Last Man on Earth. (A tie might be considered for his voice acting in The Great Mouse Detective, still one of Disney’s best, in my opinion, but we’re here to talk horror, not Disney, so carrying on…) A film version of Richard Matheson‘s I Am Legend (later to remade in the dull Charleton Heston vehicle The Omega Man, and again in the Will Smith dud), The Last Man on Earth tells the story of one man’s struggle to find a cure for a malady that has wiped out the entire population and turned them into blood drinking monsters. But who’s the real monster?

Day 4 – Movie I Thought I’d Like, But Didn’t: Hellraiser

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So many films could have gone into this slot. I saw a lot of the “classics” late, most of the horror I saw were the ones my mother bought on vhs (and tried to hide) or that my cousins or other family members rented. And except for a select few, they didn’t rent or buy any of the so-called classics, so I saw them all finally after I moved out at 17, and could rent what I wanted. And, for the most part, I hated a good amount of them. Hellraiser was the most disappointing though. A movie about beings from a hell dimension of torture? Yeah! Bring it on! I made a big bowl of popcorn, put the tape into my dusty machine and prepared for a frightfest. Boy, was I woefully disappointed. I was so bored, I think I may have nodded off at one point, and that never happens. I even sat through the next 3 films, just in case it got any better, but, with the exception of the 4th which I rather enjoyed (finally), they just got worse. I haven’t bothered to watch any of the 800 subsequent sequels. I heard Clive Barker is penning a remake. It can’t be worse than the original, so I’ll likely see it. Maybe it’ll have the Evil Dead effect…

Day 5 – Favorite Horror Remake: The Ring

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People love to hate on remakes. Usually even way before the film is even in the cinema, or sometimes even before it’s made. I’m of the opinion “how about seeing a film before saying it sucks?” But more on this later. I’ve a whole post in mind about remakes, so I’ll save it for later. As we all know, Hollywood loves a good remake. Whether it’s a remake of an older film, a foreign film, a tv show, or even remakes of remakes. Sometimes they get it wrong, sometimes they get it very wrong. But sometimes, just sometimes, they get it just right. So right that it far surpasses the original material. One such film is The Ring, the 2002 remake of Japan’s Ringu, based on the novel of the same name by Kôji Suzuki (which I also read and loved, despite being as different as it could possibly get from the film). I loved it so much, in fact, that even now, 11 years later, it’s still in my top 10 favorite films of all time. And that’s all films, not just horror.

And that’s all for today! Stay tuned for days 6 to 10 tomorrow! 🙂

M.

Top 15 Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ok, so this was supposed to be another top 10. But after paring down my list as far as it would go, I was still left with 18 titles, and was unwilling to take any more off. But, since top 18 sounds ridiculous, I (reluctantly) put 3 in “honourable mentions” and then had the joy of putting the remaining 15 in order. After literally pulling my hair out for about half an hour, I’ve done it, although I’m still not 100% sure they’re in the exact right order. But it will have to do, because I’m not starting that process over.

So, before we start, here are the 3 honourable mentions:

The Replacement – Xander gets zapped with a magical device aimed at Buffy, and wakes up alone in the dump the next morning. He goes to his apartment, and sees that a clone has taken over his life. One Xander on screen is great. Two is just gravy. Anya’s plea that she be able to take the two of them home for a while had me in stitches.

Once More, With Feeling – I keep thinking that this fun musical extravaganza needs to be on the list, and then I look at it and realize that, as awesome as this episode is, everything else on my list is just slightly better.

Something Blue – Trying to magic away her pain, Willow only ends up accidentally casting spells on all her friends instead. One of the funniest episodes, despite it’s sad reason of being.

So, without any further ado, here’s my Top 15 Episodes of Buffy!

15 – Wild at Heart

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Oz finds himself inexplicably attracted to a beautiful new student, who’s also a musician. After busting out of his cage one night, he meets another wolf, and is surprised to find himself wake with her, entwined and very much naked, the next morning. The other wolf, Veruca, wants Oz for herself, and tries to get him to see that they belong free, not locked in a cage. With more dialogue from Oz than in a lot of episodes combined, this was a poignant episode. Lots of kleenex needed here.

14 – Nightmares

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Something strange is happening in Sunnydale: everyone’s worst nightmares are happening for real. Buffy meets a quiet boy who seems to be at the center of the mystery, and they band together to try stop the phenomena, before reality collapses completely. The one and only episode where we see what Buffy would be like as a vampire.

13 – Earshot

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While fighting a mouthless demon, Buffy wounds it, and some of it’s blood is absorbed into her skin. The next day she realizes that she can hear everyone’s thoughts. What at first is a cool novelty, quickly becomes unbearable as it, at first, starts to alienate her friends, then becomes an awful racket in her head she can’t turn off. But just before she slips into total chaos, she’s able to give the others a warning: someone is planning a massacre at the school. This episode was originally supposed to air around the time of a real school shooting, purely by coincidence, but they decided to postpone it a few months. Good thing there wasn’t too much of a continuity screwup.

12 – Buffy vs Dracula

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What else to say that the title doesn’t cover? Buffy meets the infamous Count, and is, understandably, attracted to him. But that still doesn’t stop her from kicking his butt when the time comes. Xander as a Renfield type character is hilarious. Poor Xander, always getting the short end of the straw.

11 – Band Candy

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Buffy’s school is selling chocolate bars to raise money for the marching band. The chocolate seems to have an addictive quality, and soon all the adults in the town are sucking it back like crazy. And, strangely, the more they eat, the more immature they get. When Buffy goes to the factory to get to the bottom of things, it’s a teenaged Giles, with a teenaged Joyce in tow, that accompanies her. Any fan that ever shipped Giles / Joyce was very happy to see this episode. Featuring Ethan Rayne, one of my favorite recurring villains.

10 – Passion

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This was an unbelievably awful episode, and I mean that in the best way possible. Jenny buys an Orb of Thesula, hoping to be able to translate the original text to recurse Angel. Angelus finds out about it, thanks to a vision that Drusilla had, and chases Jenny through the school, after destroying both her computer and the Orb. Such a sad episode, really pushes Angelus’ evil to the very limit. What he does to Giles is so much worse than anything else he could have done.

9 – Normal Again

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After being attacked by a demon sent by Warren and the gang, Buffy has vivid hallucinations of being locked in a mental institution. So vivid, in fact, that she’s no longer sure which world is real. She decides, for a moment, that her life is Sunnydale is the dream, and goes about trying to eliminate everything, and everyone, in it. Awesome episode.

8 – The Zeppo

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This Xander-centric episode has him worrying that he’s got nothing to offer the gang, so he gets himself a beautiful new car. Which, as luck would have it, brings him nothing but trouble, as he gets in the way of campus bad boy Jack O’Toole. Sparing Xander after Xander told cops there was nothing going on, he hops in Xander’s car, and drags him around town, to get his friends. Much to Xander’s horror, Jack’s friends are all dead, and he’s raising them from their graves. And this is the beginning of Xander’s very long, very strange night. Equally funny and tense, this is a perfect showcase for the awesomeness that is Xander Harris.

7 – The Pack

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This is the very first episode of Buffy I ever saw. I didn’t even know it existed before then, since I didn’t have cable tv at home. But I was at my grandparents place, just channel surfing, when I came across this, and I was hooked right from the get go. In this episode, Xander and a group of bullies from school get possessed by hyena spirits. The mean kids act basically the same, but Xander, who’s usually so nice, starts to act just like them. Buffy knows something’s wrong, though, especially after the school mascot, a cute little piglet, is found dead, seemingly eaten alive.

6 – Halloween

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Another chaos filled evening courtesy of Ethan Rayne. It’s Halloween night and, after chanting a spell, every child and teen who bought a costume at Ethan’s shop turns into their costume. Buffy becomes a fainting 17th century lady (much to Angel and Cordelia’s chagrin), Willow becomes a (very sexy) ghost, and Xander is turned into a super soldier. Hearing Buffy’s been weakened, Spike comes looking for her.

5 – Killed By Death

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A terrible flu is going around town, and Buffy, after being knocked out during patrol, is rushed to the hospital, burning with fever. While there she encounters one of the freakiest demons in the show’s history, Der Kinderstod. Invisible to anyone who’s not feverish, Buffy purposefully makes herself sicker so she can fight him.

4 – Doppelgangland

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After doing a spell to help Anya find her pendant, an evil Willow is summoned from another dimension. Sickened that everything around her is normal and “safe”, she traps everyone in the Bronze with a group of vampires to have some fun. When she comes across the Willow from this reality, things really get fun.

3 – The Body

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Call me masochistic to have an episode like this so high on my list, but it really is one of the best episodes of the whole show. Everyone’s acting is top notch, and, needless to say, tears fall like rain. I started crying at the beginning of the show, and kept crying all the way through, even after the credits were done rolling.

2 – The Wish

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After making a seemingly innocent wish that Buffy would have never come to Sunnydale, Cordelia is stunned to find herself in world that is just that. She’s happy to find out that in this world she’s still Queen B, but her happiness is put on hold when she realizes just how many deaths there have been, including Xander and Willow’s. Deaths that had been prevented by Buffy. Going to Giles to get him to call Buffy, she encounters a vampire Xander and Willow. After a much changed Buffy arrives in Sunnydale to help with the dire situation, Giles summons the demon who granted the wish, to try get her to change the world back to the way it was.

1 – Hush

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And finally, the very best of the best, the season 4 episode Hush. After a group of fairy tale-like creatures arrives in Sunnydale, every single person in town looses their voice. The creatures stalk the night, choosing victims who have the perfect hearts they need, and cut them out of their chests. Like the last line of the poem says: “You’re gonna die screaming, but you won’t be heard”. This mostly silent episode is really a perfect piece of television. It still gives me the creeps today.

And, that wraps up my top 15 Buffy episodes. Enjoyed it? Agree? Disagree? Let me know! And stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.

Top 10 Doctor Who Episodes

Doctor Who is one of my favorite shows. I’ve only recently discovered it (recently being about a year and a half), and in that time I’ve watched (and re-watched) all the new series and got a tattoo in Gallifreyan. How’s that for devotion? I haven’t quite gotten up the nerve to watch the classic series yet, I’m generally not a fan of the old cheesy sci-fi, so I’m a little worried that it might ruin it a bit for me. So, until then, I like to re-watch my favorites. The top 3 were easy enough for me to chose, but I had a heck of a time filling in the rest, there are so many great episodes. Before I get into it, here are the 3 episodes that were thisclose to being on the list, but in the end, drew the short straw:

The Impossible Planet / The Satan Pit – I re-watched this just the other day, and I’d forgotten how creepy it actually was. Doctor Who doesn’t delve into straight horror very often, but when it does, it does it right (and you can tell those are my favorites, by what’s on this list)

Human Nature / The Family of Blood – This one was so good that I almost wish the other 10 weren’t so amazing just so it could be on the list. Alas, this tear-jerker didn’t quite make the cut.

The Doctor’s Wife – I absolutely loved to finally hear Tardis speak in her own voice. Another episode to bring the tears!

And now – drum roll please! – the best of the best, my top 10 favorite episodes of Doctor Who!!

10 – The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang

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In this two-parter, a giant vessel known as the Pandorica is about to open, releasing a deadly creature, and the Doctor, along with River and Amy, try to figure out how to stop it. This episode also re-introduces Rory, in the form of a Roman centurion, and thank goodness for that, because Amy and Rory are my second favorite Who-couple, just under Ten and Rose. So (and I’ll try not to spoil too much, just in case, but seriously, if you’re reading a top 10 list without having seen it, it’s really your own darn fault), needless to say that when the box finally opens, we’re all floored by what’s inside. In the second half of the episode, we’re faced with the end of the universe, and get to see young Amelia Pond again, for she, of course, is the key to everything.

9 – The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances

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“Are you my mummy?” In this incredibly creepy two-parter, Nine and Rose travel to war-time England, and find something seriously wrong with the townspeople. A seemingly unstoppable “dead” child in a gas mask is turning others into creatures like himself. This episode also introduces us to the wonderful Captain Jack Harkness, who, I’m sad to say, did not get nearly enough air time. We need more Jack in our Who, dammit! Nine, Rose and Jack race against time to find the source of the mysterious ailment before a bomb is set to explode.

8 – The Fires of Pompeii

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Ten and Donna were aiming for ancient Rome, but got a little lost in the voyage. So they end up in Pompeii, the day before the massive volcano destroys everything and kills 20,000 people. Donna begs the Doctor to warn the people, to save as many as they can, but he insists he can’t, that this is a fixed point in time and needs to happen. Meanwhile, they discover a religious sect in the town that has a darker heart than anyone ever thought. When I first saw Donna in The Runaway Bride, I hated her, and was annoyed to find out that she’d become a regular companion in the next season. But, after toning down her character a bit, I fell in love with her, and was very, very sad to see her go. She didn’t have enough time.

7 – Hide

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Another creepy foray into horror-territory, Hide is Who’s version of the classic ghost story, and man did it deliver. Season 7 for me was pretty meh. I was sad to see Amy and Rory go, and I don’t really like Clara, she’s rather grating. But, even so, it managed to make this wonderful stand alone episode. Looking for answers concerning Clara, Eleven decides to go consult a powerful clairvoyant. When he finds her, she’s in the process of trying to contact a very old spirit who’s been said to haunt this house for well over 300 years. In helping her to contact this spirit, we get a wonderfully Whovian explanation to what some some hauntings really are.

6 – The Unicorn and the Wasp

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This delightful episode has Ten and Donna meet Agatha Christie in a genuine murder mystery. After a man is found dead in the library, the Doctor rounds up all the guests, and, with Agatha’s help, proceeds to deduce what happened to the man. As they get closer to the truth, more people die, and the culprit seems to be not of this world. Includes some absolutely hilarious interactions between Ten and Donna, this episode had me in stitches.

5 – Amy’s Choice

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It’s five years in the future, Amy and Rory are happily living in a small village with a baby on the way. On the Tardis, Eleven, Amy and Rory are hurtling towards a frozen star, the ship’s controls having been shut down. Bouncing between both realities, the trio have to figure out which world is real. Die in a dream, and you wake up. Die in life, and well…

4 – Vincent and the Doctor

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I love anything to do with Van Gogh, so I was monumentally excited when I heard of this episode. And it definitely did not disappoint. Seeing something in a Van Gogh painting that should not be there, Eleven takes Amy to the rural countryside that Vincent calls home. Befriending the turbulent painter, they ask him if they can accompany him to paint the site in question. Turns out there’s a beast only Vincent can see (for some unexplained reason, but who cares, really, right?), and the Doctor is going to use that to his full advantage. Awesome interaction between Amy and Vincent, and more kleenex was needed here.

3 – Silence in the Library / Forest of the Dead

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River Song’s introductory episode is still my favorite of hers. The Doctor gets a message to meet at a library planet, but when he arrives, the whole planet is deserted. When an archeologist and her team arrive to survey the place, they find out why the planet is empty in the first place. This two-parter had me counting my shadows for days afterwards. And I was always kind of angry that things turned out the way they did for Donna. She just can’t catch a break, it would seem.

2 – The Girl in the Fireplace

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Ten, Rose and Mickey land in a seemingly deserted spaceship. Scattered all over the place are doorways to another time, 1700’s France, to be exact. The Doctor is able to cross through, and enters the life of Reinette Poisson, later in life to be known as Madame de Pompadour, consort to the king. Turns out the clockwork droids piloting the ship need her for something, but only when she’s “ready”. This one was high on the creep factor for me, simply for the disguises that the droids wear. Those masks were seriously scary!

1 – Blink

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And finally, my very favorite Who episode is our introduction to the Weeping Angels, Blink. Everything about this episode is awesome. A young woman sees a message in a old house written in 1969, but seemingly addressed to her. As she unravels the mystery, and gets more messages from the past, she is pursued by what at first seem to be stone statues. At least that’s what they are as long as you keep your eyes open. Don’t blink, don’t even blink. Blink, and you’re dead.

And that’s it for my top 10 episodes of Doctor Who! Hope you enjoyed my list, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.