Feb 4 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Dark

The Dark
(2005) Sean Bean, Maria Bello, Sophie Stuckey, Maurice RoΓ«ves, and Abigail Stone

dark

I actually had this one listed as “not interested” on Netflix. With the vague and uninteresting synopsis and the god-awful cover art, I had no intention of watching it. The style of the cover reminded me of those awful, older Italian horror films that some people love, lord knows why. But after reading Vinnie’s review, it actually sounded good, so I decided to go ahead and give it a try. And I have to say, I’m glad I did. It’s a strange little film, to be sure, and it took me a little while to know if I liked it or not, but in the end, I did. The acting is mostly good, except for the beginning of the film. I’m not sure what was going on, but everything for the first 5 minutes or so is awful. Really awful. In fact I almost turned the film off. But once Sean Bean appeared onscreen, it’s like the others realized they had to up their game around him. The basis of the film surrounds an old Welsh legend, something I’d never even heard of before, so it was fun to have no idea what was going on for a long time. It was more tense than scary, though, I’d have liked the fear factor to be upped a little. The ending was surprising and pretty awful. Not awful like bad, but awful as in abysmal. Not many movies these days go all out for such a dark end. It was also a little confusing, and seemed to get lost for a while, but really, that’s the only bad thing I have to say about this film. It gets a very good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix UK. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

M.

Feb 3 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: At the Devil’s Door

At the Devil’s Door (also known as Home)
(2014) Catalina Sandino Moreno, Naya Rivera, Ashley Rickards, Mark Steger, and Ava Acres

at-the-devils-door

Pleasantly surprised by this one. I was just flipping through Netflix the other night, not sure what to watch, when on a whim, I decided to try this one out. I almost turned it off as soon as it started, but I’m glad I didn’t. The acting was surprisingly good for such an unknown cast and small production, which sadly doesn’t happen much. The story was quite interesting, and every time I thought I had it all figured out, something different happened. That also sadly doesn’t happen often. It’s a little slow at times, but the wait is well worth it, with some nice, creepy things a-happening. It’s not very scary as a whole, but there are some good suspenseful moments nonetheless. All in all, it gets a good 7.5/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

M.

Jan 27 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Taking of Deborah Logan

The Taking of Deborah Logan
(2014) Jill Larson, Anne Ramsay, Michelle Ang, Ryan Cutrona, Anne Bedian, Brett Gentile, Jeremy DeCarlos, Tonya Bludsworth, and Julianne Taylor

the-taking-of-deborah-logan

SPOILERS AHEAD

Let me start by stating that I had absolutely no intention of watching this film when I found out it was a found-footage style film. I can count on one hand the number of these films I’ve enjoyed, I just don’t see the appeal. They’re supposed to be more frightening since it’s “more real”, I guess, but really all it is is annoying. The shaky camera, especially when the characters are running (and they always do at some point), is nothing except nausea inducing. You can’t even see what’s happening. It’s a genre that has long over-stayed it’s welcome, and I for one will be happy to see it go away. Alright, so, this film. After reading a few reviews, here and on movie sites, saying how good it was, I decided to go ahead and give it a watch, fully expecting to turn it off halfway. And I have to admit, it was pretty good. Jill Larson turned in a marvelous and rather creepy performance as Deborah, which is good since the rest of the cast is pretty mediocre. It was a little slow in some parts, but it built good suspense, so that was ok. That was the good. Now the bad. The ending left much to be desired. It had everything I mentioned I hated about found footage films, and then some. Running, incoherent yelling, the camera light flicking on and off, the image snowing in and out, tons of static, and it lasted for a good 20 minutes. So that knocked a point off its score. The main film student, Mia, was painfully stupid sometimes, so that knocked off another point. And then there was the whole snake thing, culminating in that moronic head-eating scene, and that squeezed another point off. For a film that had been good and scary, that ending was very much a disappointment. But everything before that was quite impressive, enough that it still manages a score of 7/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix and, despite its problems, I still reccomend it. Enjoy!

M.

Jan 25 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me
(2010) Casey Affleck, Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba, Ned Beatty, Elias Koteas, Tom Bower, Simon Baker, Brent Briscoe, Liam Aiken, Matthew Maher, and Bill Pullman

killer inside me

I had such high hopes for this one. There were a few really good actors in it, the story was interesting, but damn was this movie boring. It started out well enough, but after a while it just sort of petered out, as if the story got lost in the woods. And some of the characters really had no point, like Elias Koteas’ Joe. What was his point? He did nothing to further the story, nor did anything from his story turn out to be relevant to the plot of the film. He’s just sort of… there, to remind the audience that Lou is full of shit. Bullshit, for the birds, which he repeats no less than 5 times. The story was good though, so maybe I’ll track down the book and see if it’s any better than the film. Quite disappointing, I give this film a very mediocre 5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. But don’t say I didn’t warn you :-p

M.

Jan 20 2015

My Top 11 Onscreen Incarnations of the Devil

Movies featuring the devil are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring the devil are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, the devil can be downright terrifying, or as is the case in a few of my entries, really funny.

I’ll only be including films in which the devil is a physical manifestation, so no possession films (there’s one exception, because there’s possession and a physical being). I’ll likely do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

NUMBER 11

The Devil, Bedazzled

11 The Devil - Bedazzled

“Fair? Who do you think you’re talking to? I don’t recall anybody ever accusing me of being fair before. I think I’m insulted.”

Played by: Elizabeth Hurley
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: Getting Elliot’s soul after granting him his 7 wishes.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 10

Old Woman, Devil

10 The Devil - Devil

“You think you can make some kind of bargain?”
“Take me instead.”
“STOP SAYING THAT!!”

Played by: Jenny O’Hara
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To collect the souls of four evil-doers trapped in an elevator.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 9

Hades, Hercules

9 Hades - Hercules

“We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on.”

Played by: James Woods
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To kill Hercules so he can’t mess up his plan of unleashing the Titans on Olympus.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is trapped in the River Styx.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 8

Randall Flagg, The Stand

8 Randall Flagg - The Stand

“Pleased to meet you, Lloyd. Hope you guessed my name.”
“Hunh?”
“Oh. Nothing. Just a little classical reference.”

Played by: Jamey Sheridan
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: To kill all the remaining good people left in the world after an apocalyptic flu kills almost everyone.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Blown up by a nuclear bomb brought in by Trashcan Man, and set off by the ghostly hand of Mother Abigail.

NUMBER 7

Satan, End of Days

7 Lucifer - End of Days

“You think I came here to hurt you? I didn’t come here to hurt you. I came here to love you. Give yourself to me.”

Played by: Gabriel Byrne
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To impregnate a chosen young woman with the Anti-Christ.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is trapped in Hell for the next thousand years.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 6

John Milton, The Devil’s Advocate

6 Milton - The Devil's Advocate

“Free will. It’s like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. No, I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.”

Played by: Al Pacino
Scary or sexy: Scary (sorry Pacino fans, this dude’s one scary mo-fo)
His Goal: To have his son, Kevin, impregnate his daughter, Christabella, with the Anti-Christ.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 5

The Beast, Doctor Who

5 The Beast - Doctor Who

“This is the darkness. This is my domain. You little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble suns, which die in the end… only the darkness remains.”

Played by: Will Thorp, Gabriel Woolf
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To get free of the planet prison that has been holding him for millennia.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: The Doctor smashes the bonds holding the planet prison in orbit around a black hole so he’ll be sucked into it, at the same time Rose throws the possessed Toby out into space and towards the black hole.

NUMBER 4

Lucifer, Constantine

4 Lucifer - Constantine

“No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live so you will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live.”

Played by: Peter Stormare
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To collect John Constantine’s soul.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 3

Lucifer, The Prophecy

3 Lucifer - The Prophecy

“Little Tommy Daggett. How I loved listening to your sweet prayers every night. And then you’d jump in your bed, so afraid I was under there. And I was!”

Played by: Viggo Mortensen
Scary or sexy: A little of both, I’d say. Viggo’s an attractive man, but he’s so freaking creepy in this role!
His Goal: To stop the archangel Gabriel from stealing the Dark Soul and unleashing a second Hell. He also wants to collect Thomas and Katherine’s souls for his trouble.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 2

Lucifer, Supernatural

2 Lucifer - Supernatural

“I’m sorry. It must be painful. Speaking to me in this… shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be.”

Played by: Mark Pellegrino, Jared Padalecki
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: To use Sam as his vessel and bring about the apocalypse.
Alive at the end?: Yes and no
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After allowing him into his body, Sam is able to retake control long enough to throw himself (with Lucifer still inside him) back into his Hell-prison.

NUMBER 1

Darkness, Legend

1 Darkness - Legend

“You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal!”

Played by: Tim Curry
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To kill the last remaining unicorn to envelop the world in eternal night. He also desires Lily.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Jack impales him with the unicorn horn, and he’s sucked into the void.

And that’s my list! Which onscreen incarnations of the devil are your favourites? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! πŸ™‚

M.

Jan 20 2015

Mel’s 5 Second Review: My Little Pony – Equestria Girls

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
(2013) Tara Strong, Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St Germain, Cathy Weseluck, Rebecca Shoichet, Nicole Oliver, Vincent Tong, and Britt McKillip

my-little-pony-equestria-girls

I never really got into My Little Pony as a kid, so I didn’t even give this film a second glance when it arrived on Netflix some time last year. But my 4 year old son discovered the (new) show on his Netflix about 6 months ago, so we’ve been watching them almost every day. A few episodes are pretty bad, but on the whole it’s a fun show, and the little man loves it, especially Rainbow Dash. After having gone through all 4 seasons twice, I decided to see if he’d be interested in this film. I wasn’t sure, since the plot is about the ponies becoming human girls, I didn’t think he’d be that interested. But he was, very much so, so I put it on. Surprisingly (thankfully), it was actually quite good. Gabriel loved seeing each of the ponies transform into girls, and it was very amusing to watch Twilight Sparkle try to figure out how to behave like a human. Their motto, friendship is magic, is very important in this film, and of course it has a very saccharine ending, but I was expecting that, so it’s ok. There aren’t too many songs, either, which is definitely good. I have a theory about the number of songs in a film (that’s not supposed to be a musical) is directly related to how good or bad a film is (my best example being The Land Before Time and it’s thousand sequels, in which the first film has zero songs except during the credits, and is amazing, compared to the sequels which are 70% song, and suck balls… but I’m babbling again, aren’t I?) All in all, it’s fine family fun, and gets a very good 8/10 from me.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

M.

Dec 24 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Babadook

The Babadook
(2014) Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman, Daniel Henshall, Barbara West, and Tim Purcell

Babadook

So, I’d really been looking forward to this film, since I’d heard about it. The trailer was awesome, and I’d heard generally only good things about it. It was really just my own apathy that was stopping me from watching it. I’ve been really bad the last 2-3 years or so, in keeping up with shows and movies. No matter how good it looks, or how much I already like a series, I can’t seem to get myself to care enough to watch. But anyways, I’m babbling again… So I finally got around to watching this last week, and by that time, my expectations for the film were very high, with all the positive reviews I’d heard. Ultimately too high, I think. It wasn’t a bad film, but it was nowhere near as good as I was expecting. It was only 93 minutes long, but it felt like 3 hours. It had a few really good, tense scenes, but it wasn’t quite enough to keep me totally engrossed. I’m also of the idea that less is more when it comes to movie villains, especially ghostly things, and I feel that we saw too much of the creature, and that made it much less scary, and actually a little silly. And that ending… it was one of the more ridiculous things I’ve seen. And don’t get all high and mighty on me, telling me I didn’t get it. I get mental illness, believe me. But that was ridiculous. In the end, it was a good idea that just kinda got lost along the way. It gets a decent 7/10 from me.

This film is not currently on Netflix, nor is there a copy on YouTube. But if you wait a bit, I’m sure it’ll come on soon.

M.

Dec 18 2014

Top 10 Films of 2014

Well, it’s that time of year again, when you look back over the year’s films and pick out your favourites. Here are mine, in no particular order:

Uh…

Erm…

I, uh.. Oh here! Uh, no… Wait, I know… No… Hmm…

Well. Looks like I have 13 days to go watch 10 of this years movies. Time to grab the largest bowl of popcorn I can find, get lots of padding for my back and butt, and get a-watchin’!!

I’ll hopefully be back soon with the real list, hehe.

M.

Dec 14 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
(2013) Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ian McKellen, Benedict Cumberbatch, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Aidan Turner, Luke Evans, Lee Pace, Ken Stott, Dean O’Gorman, Sylvester McCoy, Stephen Fry, and Cate Blanchett

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

So, I finally got around to seeing this film. I had originally wanted to see it at the cinema, but after I missed my chance, I just never got into the mood to watch it at home. I’m at my mom’s house right now, and she decided to put it on, and despite not being in the mood to watch tv, I got sucked into it. I unfortunately missed a lot of the early dialogue, even though the sound was pretty loud, I dunno, it was weird, like the talking was at a frequency that I couldn’t hear. The acting was all top notch, as expected, and all the extra stuff they added, while unnecessary to the story, was still good. The effects however… I have to admit to being disappointed. They decided to go hardcore CGI, and I felt like it took away from the film. The Lord of the Rings trilogy had just as many orcs and other baddies, but most of them were actors in makeup, and I think that made all the difference. It’s pretty bad to say that films made almost 15 years ago look better than films made now, but they really do. And speaking of CGI, what the hell is up with Orlando Bloom’s face?? Am I the only one that noticed how computerized it was? Did the actor age so horribly that they had to smooth out his face with CGI? It’s really bad, so bad that it was distracting me from the film, and that’s never a good thing. They also went way overboard on some of the action scenes, even more implausible than in the first film. I caught myself saying “oh, come on!” with an eye roll more than once. On the plus side, Smaug was awesome, and the whole final act was nail-bitingly awesome. Thankfully, my memory of the book is hazy at best (I read it in grade school), so all the extra stuff doesn’t bother me as much as it might have had it been fresh in my mind. All in all, it was a fun watch, I give it a good 8/10. I’ll try to see the next film sooner this time, hehe.

M.

Dec 8 2014

My Top 15 Teen Films

Most teen films are the sort of thing that you’ll watch over and over when you’re a teenager, but then once an adult you try watch it again and are horrified by how awful it actually was. But every so often a gem will be made that somehow remains fun to watch even in our old age. Here’s my list of the teen films that I loved as a kid, and still love now. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

 

NUMBER 15

15 Just One of the Girls

Title: Just One of the Girls (also known as Anything for Love)
Starring: Corey Haim, Nicole Eggert, Cameron Bancroft, Johannah Newmarch, Gabe Khouth, Rachel Hayward, Lochlyn Munro, Kevin McNulty, and Wendy Van Riesen
Released in: 1993
Directed by: Michael Keusch
Written by: Raul Fernandez
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: To avoid bullies on his way to a new school, Chris dresses up as a girl. It works like a charm, until he’s caught in costume by one of his teachers and is forced to stay in disguise. Things get tricky when he meets the girl of his dreams, and the girl’s brother tries to get with him.
Why I Love It: It’s a by-the-numbers gender-swap film, but it’s still fun to see Corey Haim in drag. He does a good job of pretending to be a girl, and is actually passable, unlike so many others in the genre.

 

NUMBER 14

14 Just One of the Guys

Title: Just One of the Guys
Starring: Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner, Billy Jacoby, Toni Hudson, William Zabka, Leigh McCloskey, and Sherilyn Fenn
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Lisa Gottlieb
Written by: Dennis Feldman, Jeff Franklin
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After having her article passed over for an internship for a boy’s, Terri decides to enroll in a new school as a boy to prove that her article was passed over just because she’s a girl.
Why I Love It: Another gender-swap, but this is one of the best ones I’ve seen, from teen or adult fare. Joyce Hyser is hilariously wonderful, and actually makes for a rather attractive boy. But I’ve always liked the girly-boys, so I might be biased, hehe.

 

NUMBER 13

13 Cry-Baby

Title: Cry-Baby
Starring: Johnny Depp, Amy Locane, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, Susan Tyrrell, Polly Bergen, Iggy Pop, Kim McGuire, Darren E Burrows, Stephen Mailer, and Kim Webb
Released in: 1990
Directed by: John Waters
Written by: John Waters
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: A bad-boy (or Drape) with a heart of gold falls for a good girl (or Square), and while the Drapes are very accepting of the girl, the Squares are determined to keep them apart.
Why I Love It: By all accounts, this should be an awful movie. But I don’t know, I absolutely love it. It’s silly with some pretty shifty acting, and is nothing close to real life, but I dunno, it all just works.

 

NUMBER 12

12 Save the Last Dance

Title: Save the Last Dance
Starring: Julia Stiles, Sean Patrick Thomas, Kerry Washington, Fredro Starr, Terry Kinney, Bianca Lawson, Vince Green, Garland Whitt, and Dorothy Martin
Released in: 2001
Directed by: Thomas Carter
Written by: Duane Adler, Cheryl Edwards
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After her mother dies in an accident, a white teen moves to LA with her father. She attends a new school in a poor area of town where most of the students are black. There she meets a boy who rekindles her love of dance.
Why I Love It: I love dance movies, even ones where the lead character isn’t really that good at it (her final dance routine was less than impressive). And then pair the dancing with a schmoopy love story and some good dramatic scenes, and you’ve got yourself a winning formula for a successful teen film.

 

NUMBER 11

11 Juno

Title: Juno
Starring: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, JK Simmons, Olivia Thirlby, Daniel Clark, and Rainn Wilson
Released in: 2007
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Written by: Diablo Cody
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After getting pregnant by her best friend, a quirky teen decides to go ahead and have the baby, finding a couple to adopt the child in a PennySaver magazine.
Why I Love It: It’s fun, quirky, and witty, and has a good message. Most of the actors are surprisingly good (except Jennifer Garner, who plays a plank of wood, as usual), and the writing is awesome, despite the fact that no one on the planet talks like they do (not before the film came out, anyways).

 

NUMBER 10

10 Get Real

Title: Get Real
Starring: Ben Silverstone, Brad Gorton, Charlotte Brittain, Stacy Hart, Kate McEnery, and Patrick Nielsen
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Simon Shore
Written by: Patrick Wilde
Based On: The play of the same name by Patrick Wilde
5 Second Synopsis: This tenderly romantic film tells the story of Steve, a young man in a British prep school, as he struggles with coming out and falling in love with the class jock, John. Who, amazingly, falls in love with him as well. But their relationship starts to feel the strain as John constantly hides his sexuality, and refuses to acknowledge Steve in public.
Why I Love It: Such a poignant love story, and one that all too many teens go through at least once in their lives, gay or straight. Unfortunately, sometimes love just isn’t enough. This is a wonderful little film, with good acting and writing. Definitely one to see if you enjoy the genre.

 

NUMBER 9

9 Can't Hardly Wait

Title: Can’t Hardly Wait
Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ethan Embry, Seth Green, Charlie Korsmo, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Jaime Pressly, Jenna Elfman, Melissa Joan Hart, Breckin Meyer, and Jerry O’Connell
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan
Written by: Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After being in love with the school hottie for years, a shy student decides to finally tell her how he feels about her at their class’ graduation party. Of course, shenanigans ensue.
Why I Love It: It’s fun, silly, sort of pointless, but that’s all part of it’s appeal. The actors do a great job acting like teenagers (no small feat, since most of the actors in the film are in their 20’s or 30’s). Grab your popcorn and prepare to laugh, swoon, and just have a good time.

 

NUMBER 8

8 Cruel Intentions

Title: Cruel Intentions
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Sean Patrick Thomas, Joshua Jackson, Christine Baranski, Eric Mabius, and Swoosie Kurtz
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Roger Kumble
Written by: Roger Kumble
Based On: Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos
5 Second Synopsis: Kathryn makes a bet that her step-brother, Sebastian, won’t be able to bed Annette (a virgin, who wants to wait until love). If he loses, Kathryn gets his Jaguar. If he wins, he gets Kathryn.
Why I Love It: Stronger writing and acting than most teen films of the time, and I guess it’s in part because of the fact that the source material was definitely not intended for kids. This is a definite gem of the 90’s.

 

NUMBER 7

7 Dazed and Confused

Title: Dazed and Confused
Starring: Jason London, Wiley Wiggins, Matthew McConaughey, Rory Cochrane, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Shawn Andrews, Marissa Ribisi, Anthony Rapp, Adam Goldberg, Sasha Jenson, Milla Jovovich, and Jeremy Fox
Released in: 1993
Directed by: Richard Linklater
Written by: Richard Linklater
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: It’s the last day of school at a high school in a small town in Texas in 1976. The upperclassmen are hazing the incoming freshmen, and everyone is trying to get stoned, drunk, or laid, even the football players that signed a pledge not to.
Why I Love It: They say if you remember the 70’s you weren’t there. I may not remember them (since I wasn’t born yet), but I got a good idea of things were like with this fun, sometimes crazy, film. It’s also fun to see a bunch of big name actors getting their starts here, including Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, and Milla Jovovich. A total riot to watch, start to finish.

 

NUMBER 6

6 10 Things I Hate About You

Title: 10 Things I Hate About You
Starring: Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, David Krumholtz, Andrew Keegan, Susan May Pratt, Gabrielle Union, Larry Miller, Daryl Mitchell, and Allison Janney
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Gil Junger
Written by: Karen McCullah, Kirsten Smith
Based On: The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (loosely based :-p )
5 Second Synopsis: A popular teen can’t date until her tempermental older sister starts dating too, so her suitor decides to pay the school bad-boy to ask her out.
Why I Love It: Well written, well acted with lots and lots of eye candy, this is one of the very best teen films to come out of the 90’s. It was also my introduction to the hunky Heath Ledger, who’s career I followed after seeing him here.

 

NUMBER 5

5 The Goonies

Title: The Goonies
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Richard Donner
Written by: Chris Columbus
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave.
Why I Love It: I might be skating along the lines of what’s a teen film and what’s a kid’s film here, but it’s so good that I decided to go ahead and put it in anyways. So much fun, a definite childhood classic. Everybody do the truffle shuffle!! hehe

 

NUMBER 4

4 Hackers

Title: Hackers
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, and Alberta Watson
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Iain Softley
Written by: Rafael Moreu
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: A group of teen hackers find out about a plot to capsize an oil tanker if millions of dollars aren’t sent to a specific bank account, and with the police hot on their trails, they have to find the hacker behind the crime before they’re the ones blamed for it.
Why I Love It: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, I’ve always had my own computer ever since then. Plus, with the caliber of actors that they were able to attract and a good director, that means that this is one of the best made teen films out there. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchin soundtrack.

 

NUMBER 3

2 Pretty in Pink

Title: Pretty in Pink
Starring: Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Andrew McCarthy, Annie Potts, James Spader, Andrew Dice Clay, and Harry Dean Stanton
Released in: 1986
Directed by: Howard Deutch
Written by: John Hughes
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: When a rich boy and poor girl start dating, friends on either side will do anything to make sure they separate.
Why I Love It: One of the all time classics, this little teen film is so romantic sometimes that it’ll make you choke, and so funny in other times that you’ll pee yourself (ie: any scenes with Duckie. Love him!) All the teen romance clichΓ©s are here, and that’s because this film (and others around the same time) ‘invented’ all of them. Its look is very very 80’s, a lot of the clothes is hideous (especially that god damned pink dress at the end… what the hell were they thinking??? But I digress…), but it does nothing to take the wonderfulness of the film away. Plus, young James Spader. Meow.

 

NUMBER 2

3 The Breakfast Club

Title: The Breakfast Club
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, John Kapelos, and Paul Gleason
Released in: 1985
Directed by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: Five very different teens are in an all detention in the school library. As the day goes by, they open up to each other and realize that they’re not as different as they thought.
Why I Love It: One of the quintessential teen films, this is one of the movies that started it all, with a group of actors affectionately known as The Brat Pack. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain why I love this one. It hits the high-school-life-nail right on its head. Amazing. And Judd Nelson as Bender? Holy hot!

 

And now for my number 1, well…. I’m going to cheat here, big time. There was no way that I was going to be able to choose one or the other as my very favourite, so I decided to make my number 1 a tie. And so, here’s my…

 

NUMBERS 1

1 Empire Records

Title: Empire Records
Starring: Rory Cochrane, Johnny Whitworth, Anthony LaPaglia, Robin Tunney, RenΓ©e Zellweger, Liv Tyler, Ethan Embry, Coyote Shivers, Brendan Sexton III, Maxwell Caulfield, and Debi Mazar
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Allan Moyle
Written by: Carol Heikkinen
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: The employees of an independent music store learn about each other as they try anything to stop the store from being absorbed by a large chain.
Why I Love It: I can’t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.

 

1 Clueless

Title: Clueless
Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, and Dan Hedaya
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Amy Heckerling
Written by: Amy Heckerling
Based On: Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based :-p )
5 Second Synopsis: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok.
Why I Love It: I don’t think I need to explain how awesome this film is. It’s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent (the way I imagine teens in that world actually are ;-p ). They could not have picked a better actress for the main role of Cher, Alicia Silverstone is absolutely perfect.

 

And that’s my list!! What are your favourite teen films? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! πŸ˜€

M.