My Top 30 Films of the 80s

These were incredibly hard to rank, harder than any other decade, because this is the decade that I grew up in and started to mold my mind into what kind of media I’d like for the rest of my life. I saw most of these films before I was 10 years old (yes, I was probably too young for some of them), and they’re imprinted permanently into my brain. It was very hard to keep the list to 30 (not as hard as it was in the upcoming 90s list, but still). So here they are, my top 30 movies of the 80s!

Number 30

Title: Weird Science
Year: 1985
Plot: Two high-school nerds use a computer program to literally create the perfect woman, who promptly turns their lives upside-down.
Starring: Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Anthony Michael Hall, Kelly LeBrock, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Bill Paxton, Robert Downey Jr
Directed by: John Hughes
Based on: The comic book Weird Science #5: Made of the Future by Al Feldstein
Notes: Yes, it’s got some problematic things in it, but this film is so much fun! A classic teen movie (made way before I was a teen) that just makes me laugh. Plus, it’s fun to see Bill Paxton (rip) and Robert Downey Jr in early roles.

Number 29

Title: The Secret of NIMH
Year: 1982
Plot: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she suspected.
Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Peter Strauss, Arthur Malet, Hermione Baddeley, Shannen Doherty, Wil Wheaton, John Carradine, Paul Shenar
Directed by: Don Bluth
Based on: The book Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C O’Brien
Notes: One of my absolute favourites growing up. I kept on wanting it higher on the list, but there are simply too many amazing movies from this decade! Also, I had no idea that Shannen Doherty (rip) and Wil Wheaton were the voices of two of the Brisby kids!

Number 28

Title: Ghostbusters
Year: 1984
Plot: Armed with proton packs, four paranormal investigators battle mischievous ghouls in New York.
Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Rick Moranis, William Atherton, Slavitza Jovan
Directed by: Ivan Reitman
Based on: An original screenplay written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis
Notes: What can I say about this film? It’s an absolute classic! It never fails to make me laugh.

Number 27

Title: Silver Bullet
Year: 1985
Plot: In a small town, brutal killings start to plague the close-knit community. Marty Coslaw, a paraplegic boy, is convinced the murders are the doings of a werewolf.
Starring: Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O’Quinn, Bill Smitrovich
Directed by: Daniel Attias
Based on: The novella Cycle of the Werewolf by Stephen King
Notes: Corey Haim (rip) was one of the first actors that I remember really having a crush on when I was a kid after seeing him in The Lost Boys and Watchers. He’s much younger in this film, but still adorable. The film itself is fun, and the werewolf effects were pretty good for the time. I miss practical effects…

Number 26

Title: The Serpent and the Rainbow
Year: 1988
Plot: An anthropologist goes to Haiti to research a drug that makes someone appear dead by suspending all vital signs.
Starring: Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Zakes Mokae, Paul Winfield, Michael Gough, Brent Jennings, Conrad Roberts, Badja Djola
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: The non-fiction book The Serpent and the Rainbow by Wade Davis
Notes: The author famously hated the film, and it faced some serious backlash for its fictionalized portrayal of Haitian Vodou and the Haitians in general. But, and I may be wrong here, it’s a fictional movie. It never pretends to be a true story. I loved this film, I thought it was a very neat and different angle to the zombie story.

Number 25

Title: Warlock
Year: 1989
Plot: A warlock flees from the 17th to the 20th century, with a witch-hunter in hot pursuit.
Starring: Julian Sands, Richard E Grant, Lori Singer, Mary Woronov, Kevin O’Brien
Directed by: Steve Miner
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Twohy
Notes: This film is so good. The film takes its subject matter seriously, even though the premise is kind of silly. Wonderfully campy and acted better than most movies in its genre, it’s definitely a gem of the 80’s. And Julian Sands (rip), my goodness. One of my very first crushes on a grownup. I can still picture tween me watching this with hearts in my eyes, hehe.

Number 24

Title: Pet Sematary
Year: 1989
Plot: After tragedy strikes, a grieving father discovers an ancient burial ground behind his home with the power to raise the dead.
Starring: Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Brad Greenquist, Miko Hughes, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl
Directed by: Mary Lambert
Based on: The book Pet Sematary by Stephen King
Notes: Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Stephen King books, and this happens to be a great adaptation. Sure, they changed some things, but on the whole, they did an awesome job. It’s sure to give you goosebumps!

Number 23

Title: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Year: 1989
Plot: In 1938, after his father goes missing while pursuing the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones finds himself up against the Nazis again to stop them from obtaining its powers.
Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, Julian Glover, River Phoenix
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Based on: An original screenplay written by Jeffrey Boam
Notes: The best of the three Indiana Jones films, this is the only one that I still rewatch from time to time. Fun and sometimes tense, this is a wonderful conclusion to the story. (Yes, I’m fully aware there’s more, I just don’t acknowledge them). The addition of Sean Connery (rip) as Indy’s dad is wonderful. They really seem like a father and son.

Number 22

Title: Rock & Rule
Year: 1983
Plot: A malevolent rock star kidnaps a singer to force her to participate in the summoning of a demon, and her band must help her stop him.
Starring: Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul Le Mat, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell, Chris Wiggins, Brent Titcomb, Catherine Gallant, Catherine O’Hara
Directed by: Clive A Smith
Based on: Loosely based on the short story The Devil and Daniel Webster by Stephen Vincent Benét
Notes: I don’t remember how I came to see this film. I know we didn’t own the vhs. Maybe taped off of late night tv? In any case, this little, mostly forgotten Canadian film is, in my opinion, the very best in the genre. Forget the much over-rated Heavy Metal, this adult cartoon is where it’s at. Awesome animation, kick ass soundtrack, and great story, this is a must-see for anyone who likes adult animation.

Number 21

Title: From Beyond
Year: 1986
Plot: A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.
Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Ken Foree, Ted Sorel, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon
Directed by: Stuart Gordon
Based on: The short story From Beyond by HP Lovecraft
Notes: I tend to love adaptations of Lovecraft’s works even when they aren’t that good. This one is great, with a wonderful lead performance by Jeffrey Combs (the go-to actor for Lovecraft adaptations). The practical effects are stunning and hold up well, even today.

Number 20

Title: Beetlejuice
Year: 1988
Plot: The spirits of a deceased couple are harassed by an unbearable family that has moved into their home, and hire a malicious spirit to drive them out.
Starring: Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Glenn Shadix
Directed by: Tim Burton
Based on: An original screenplay written by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson
Notes: Back when Tim Burton was still at the top of his game. So much fun, completely off the wall bonkers, and I love every second of it. It’s wickedly funny with awesome practical effects, it’s been one of my favourites since I was a kid.

Number 19

Title: Return to Oz
Year: 1985
Plot: Dorothy Gale (who’s somehow much younger now), saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.
Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Sean Barrett, Denise Bryer, Brian Henson, Lyle Conway, Justin Case, John Alexander, Deep Roy, Emma Ridley, Tansy the Dog
Directed by: Walter Murch
Based on: The books Ozma of Oz and The Land of Oz by L Frank Baum
Notes: It’s not often a sequel is better than the first film, but this one definitely is. It’s crazy on so many levels, and shit-your-pants terrifying in others, they simply don’t make them like this anymore. What a shame.

Number 18

Title: Amadeus
Year: 1984
Plot: The life, music, and death of musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Starring: Tom Hulce, F Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge, Roy Dotrice, Simon Callow, Christine Ebersole, Jeffrey Jones, Charles Kay
Directed by: Milos Forman
Based on: The play Amadeus written by Peter Shaffer, also based on a true story… more or less
Notes: I knew going into it that it wasn’t historically accurate. And do I care? Not a lick. I know a biopic is supposed to tell a true story, and I’m sorry that people might think that this is the way things actually went down, but I’ll be damned if I don’t just love this film to pieces. Fart jokes and all.

Number 17

Title: Moonstruck
Year: 1987
Plot: Loretta Castorini, a bookkeeper from Brooklyn, finds herself in a difficult situation when she falls for the brother of the man she has agreed to marry.
Starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Vincent Gardenia, Danny Aiello, John Mahoney
Directed by: Norman Jewison
Based on: An original screenplay written by John Patrick Shanley
Notes: I absolutely love this film. Cher is wonderful (and disgustingly beautiful) as Loretta, and her chemistry with Nicolas Cage’s Ronnie is electric. This is one of my very favourite chick flicks.

Number 16

Title: The Neverending Story
Year: 1984
Plot: Troubled Bastian “borrows” a book from a bookstore and dives into the world of Fantasia where a dark Nothing is destroying everything. The only one who can save the day is young warrior Atreyu.
Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Alan Oppenheimer, Tami Stronach, Sydney Bromley, Patricia Hayes, Deep Roy, Tilo Prückner, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill, Gerald McRaney, Alma the Horse
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Based on: The book Die Unendliche Geschichte by Michael Ende
Notes: This was one of my favourites as a kid, and it’s still now. I’m surprised it’s not higher on my list because I literally wore the vhs out, but that just goes to show how awesome 80s films were. Despite some of the acting being rather shaky (especially the Child-like Empress, yikes), this film is simply marvelous. Fantasia is beautiful, most of the practical effects are cool, and while it’s quite different from the book, the story is still amazing, even today. Noah Hathaway as Atreyu was my very first movie crush, and remained so until I passed the character in age, about 7 years later.

Number 15

Title: Ladyhawke
Year: 1985
Plot: An evil Bishop curses a woman and her lover when she rejects him. With the help of a sly thief, they will travel back to the Bishop and try break the curse.
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, John Wood, Ken Hutchison, Giancarlo Prete, Alfred Molina
Directed by: Richard Donner
Based on: An original screenplay written by Edward Khmara, Michael de Guzman, Tom Mankiewicz, and David Peoples
Notes: Such a beautiful film. Nauseatingly romantic, this film has a bit for everyone. Schmoop, laughter, action, and drama, this is simply a wonderful, wonderful film.

Number 14

Title: The Great Mouse Detective
Year: 1986
Plot: Detective Basil of Baker Street investigates the kidnapping of a toy maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan.
Starring: Barrie Ingham, Vincent Price, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek, Candy Candido, Alan Young, Diana Chesney
Directed by: Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, John Musker
Based on: The book series Basil of Baker Street by Eve Titus
Notes: One of my very favourite Disney films, surpassed only by one, which is later in the list. I absolutely love this little mousey version of Sherlock Holmes, and Vincent Price (rip) as the villain? Of course he is. No one could have done it better.

Number 13

Title: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Year: 1984
Plot: In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him.
Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Nick Corri, Charles Fleischer, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley
Directed by: Wes Craven
Based on: An original screenplay written by Wes Craven, although he was heavily inspired by real-life news reports of refugees dying in their sleep from extreme nightmares, often referred to as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome.
Notes: This was the very first horror movie I ever saw, which means I was just a wee thing (only 3 or 4 years old) when I partially saw it from where I was hiding while my cousins, who thought I was in bed, were watching. And it’s stuck with me ever since, still one of my favourites, even with the sometimes laughable acting and effects. When a movie is this good, lots of stuff can be over-looked!

Number 12

Title: Poltergeist
Year: 1982
Plot: A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorize the family before they kidnap the youngest daughter.
Starring: Craig T Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Heather O’Rourke, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Martin Casella, Zelda Rubinstein
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Based on: An original screenplay written by Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, and Mark Victor, although they were heavily inspired by the supposed true haunting of the Hermann family in Long Island, in 1958.
Notes: An absolute classic of the genre, it’s still one of the very best haunted house films ever made, even 44 years later. Also, I hate clowns, even toy ones *shudder*

Number 11

Title: The Princess Bride
Year: 1987
Plot: While home sick in bed, a young boy’s grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride, about a young woman, believing her true love to be dead, who settles with marrying a wicked prince. When her love turns out to be alive, he sets about rescuing her from the prince’s clutches.
Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, André the Giant, Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Based on: The book The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Notes: This film is both schmoopy and full of adventures, perfect for kids and adults alike. And one more thing: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Number 10

Title: The Goonies
Year: 1985
Plot: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave.
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, Anne Ramsey
Directed by: Richard Donner
Based on: An original screenplay written by Chris Columbus, based on a story by Steven Spielberg
Notes: I can’t count the number of times I watched this as a kid. It’s so much fun with lots to appeal to both kids and adults. Adventure, danger, traps, and even a little romance.

Number 9

Title: Near Dark
Year: 1987
Plot: After being bit by a beautiful vampire, a young man is given an ultimatum by her family: make a kill within a week, or die. When he realizes he can’t kill, he and the girl run off, with her family in hot pursuit.
Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, Joshua John Miller, Tom Thomerson
Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow
Based on: An original screenplay written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red
Notes: The other vampire film that came out in 1987, this one is decidedly more adult, and was criminally overlooked. I saw this for the first time as a teenager, and it had everything a teenage girl could possibly want. Romance, eye candy, and lots and lots of blood. Oh yeah!

Number 8

Title: Willow
Year: 1988
Plot: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
Starring: Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Jean Marsh, Patricia Hayes, Billy Barty, Kevin Pollak, Rick Overton, Pat Roach, Gavan O’Herlihy, David Steinberg, Phil Fondacaro
Directed by: Ron Howard
Based on: An original screenplay by Bob Dolman, based on a story by George Lucas
Notes: Such a wonderful, beautiful story. Good acting and surprisingly good effects for its time, it still holds up very well today. Plus, Val Kilmer (rip) is smokin’ hot as Madmartigan, who was one of my very first adult crushes.

Number 7

Title: Aliens
Year: 1986
Plot: Decades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, Al Matthews
Directed by: James Cameron
Based on: An original screenplay written by James Cameron, although he acknowledged inspiration from Robert A Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers
Notes: Simply the best space/alien movie ever, full stop. I saw this (probably way too young) on tv when I was about 8 or 9 and have loved it since then. Action packed and tense, with killer effects, this film rocks!

Number 6

Title: The Black Cauldron
Year: 1985
Plot: A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.
Starring: Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Freddie Jones, Nigel Hawthorne, John Byner, Arthur Malet, Phil Fondacaro, John Hurt
Directed by: Ted Berman, Richard Rich
Based on: The first two books in The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander, titled The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron
Notes: This is my favourite Disney movie, and probably their darkest. It didn’t do well upon release, so that put an end to “dark Disney”, which was a real shame for weirdo kids like me.

Number 5

Title: The Dark Crystal
Year: 1982
Plot: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world.
Starring: Stephen Garlick, Lisa Maxwell, Percy Edwards, Billie Whitelaw, Barry Dennen, Jerry Nelson, Joseph O’Conor
Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz
Based on: An original screenplay written by David Odell, based on a story created by Jim Henson and Frank Oz
Notes: So many of the films I loved as a child are like this one, “too weird and scary” for today’s wimpy children. I’m not sure what the people who made children’s movies were on in the 80s, but I want some. This film is both heartwarming and tense, with simply stunning puppetry and locations.

Number 4

Title: Fright Night
Year: 1985
Plot: A teen becomes suspicious of his new neighbour when bodies of young women are found dumped in trash bags. He soon realizes the suave, handsome man is an evil vampire, and he tries to enlist the help of a tv vampire slayer to stop him.
Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, Art Evans
Directed by: Tom Holland
Based on: An original screenplay written by Tom Holland
Notes: One of the original great horror-comedies, this film is fun, campy, and scary. The actors are perfect in their roles, especially Chris Sarandon as the evil yet seductive Jerry Dandridge. The remake, while nowhere near as good as this one, is still worth a gander.

Number 3

Title: Legend
Year: 1985
Plot: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.
Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Annabelle Lanyon, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Robert Picardo
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Based on: An original screenplay written by William Hjortsberg, although he was heavily inspired by classic fairy tales and Celtic art, particularly the book Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee.
Notes: I’m not sure if the creators of this film intended it to be a kids film or an adults, but I know I saw it as a kid (of course I did). This film, effects-wise, was so far ahead of its time that it would be impressive even if it came out today. And Tim Curry is deliciously evil as Darkness (although I heard that he hated the makeup process, those horns weighed a ton!)

Number 2

Title: Labyrinth
Year: 1986
Plot: Fifteen-year-old Sarah accidentally wishes her baby half-brother, Toby, away to the Goblin King Jareth, who will keep him if Sarah does not complete his Labyrinth in thirteen hours.
Starring: Jennifer Connelly, David Bowie, Brian Henson, Ron Mueck, Dave Goelz, David Shaughnessy, Michael Hordern, Denise Bryer, David Healy, Robert Beatty, Toby Froud
Directed by: Jim Henson
Based on: An original screenplay written by Terry Jones, based on a story by Jim Henson and Brian Froud, although they acknowledged they were heavily inspired by Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
Notes: If I had to absolutely choose a favourite fantasy film of all time, this would be it. I saw it at 5 years old, when it came out, and I’ve seen it well over 100 times. I learned all the words, songs and talked, in a very short time, and I still know most of them now. It’s an absolutely perfect piece of film. And David Bowie (rip) is so beautiful in this, I can’t help but swoon every time. They just don’t make them like this anymore. What a pity…

Number 1

Title: The Lost Boys
Year: 1987
Plot: When brothers Sam and Michael move to a new town after their parents’ divorce, they quickly realize that the town is over-run by vampires. Sam gets help from self-appointed vampire slayers, but for Michael it may be too late…
Starring: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Keifer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Barnard Hughes, Edward Herrmann, Jamison Newlander, Alex Winter, Billy Wirth, Brooke McCarter, Chance Michael Corbitt, Folsom the Dog, Cody the Dog
Directed by: Joel Schumacher
Based on: An original screenplay written by Janice Fischer and James Jeremias
Notes: It was the first vampire movie I ever saw, and was the beginning of a life-long love affair with all things that go bump in the night. I was 6 when this came out, and my mom bought it on vhs and hid it from me, saying it was “too scary”. By the time she’d caught me with it, I’d already watched it about 20 times. Not too scary for this weirdo!

And there it is, 30 of the best films from the 80s. I had a hell of time choosing between Labyrinth and The Lost Boys as my number 1, I think I love them both equally. And I do think the ranking is pretty fluid here. A lot of these can be interchangeable, depending on my mood.

Shout-outs go to the following films for almost making the list:

Watchers
Re-animator
Cellar Dweller
Just One of the Guys
Pretty in Pink
The Breakfast Club
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Twice Upon a Time
Stand By Me
Firestarter

Some of these were so close to making the list that it hurt to leave them off, but adding them would just make an already long list even longer, so here they are.

Stay tuned for the 90s, coming soon!

M.

Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by:
Brett Leonard
Year:
1992
Starring:
Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Gary Dauberman
Year:
2024
Starring:
Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes:
I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by:
Fraser C Heston
Year:
1993
Starring:
Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes:
I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by:
Mark Pavia
Year:
1997
Starring:
Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by:
Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring:
Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Stanley Kubrick
Year:
1980
Starring:
Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes:
I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1996
Starring:
Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes:
Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by:
Lewis Teague
Year:
1983
Starring:
Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Tobe Hooper
Year:
1979
Starring:
David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes:
I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by:
John Carpenter
Year:
1983
Starring:
Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes:
I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by:
Lawrence Kasdan
Year:
2003
Starring:
Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes:
This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1995
Starring:
Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes:
Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by:
John Power
Year:
1993
Starring:
Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes:
I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by:
Brian De Palma
Year:
1976
Starring:
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes:
Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes:
I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by:
David Cronenberg
Year:
1983
Starring:
Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes:
I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by:
David Koepp
Year:
2004
Starring:
Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes:
Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year:
2019
Starring:
Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes:
It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by:
Nikolaj Arcel
Year:
2017
Starring:
Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes:
*Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1997
Starring:
Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes:
I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by:
Bryan Singer
Year:
1998
Starring:
Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes:
Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by:
Mark L Lester
Year:
1984
Starring:
Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes:
Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by:
George A Romero
Year:
1993
Starring:
Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes:
I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Mikael Salomon
Year:
2004
Starring:
Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes:
Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2019
Starring:
James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1986
Starring:
Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes:
I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1990
Starring:
James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes:
Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes:
An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by:
Mikael Håfström
Year:
2007
Starring:
John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes:
I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by:
Rob Savage
Year:
2023
Starring:
Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes:
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
2007
Starring:
Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes:
Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by:
Daniel Attias
Year:
1985
Starring:
Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes:
I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
2002
Starring:
Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes:
Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Mary Lambert
Year:
1989
Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes:
Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by:
Tommy Lee Wallace
Year:
1990
Starring:
Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes:
I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1994
Starring:
Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes:
Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1994
Starring:
Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes:
With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2017
Starring:
Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

Teen Heartthrobs – Then and Now, part 2

A few months ago, I made a post about some of my favourite “heartthrobs” from the 80’s and 90’s (which is still one of my most viewed posts!! Woo! hehe). I’d promised way back then that I would continue the post to add all those that I’d forgotten, and then I just got side-tracked with other stuff. But I’m ready to take on part 2 now, so without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road!

 

Vincent Kartheiser

I first saw Vincent in such teen films as Alaska, Masterminds, Strike! (also called All I Wanna Do), and Crime + Punishment in Suburbia, as well, of course, as Connor in the great vampire show Angel. Quite effeminate, he’s definitely not for everyone’s tastes, but I’ve always liked the little girly boys, so I fell in love with him on first sight.

So what’s he up to now?
Vincent Kartheiser now

While he never really stopped working after Angel ended in 2004, his roles were either small, voice overs, or in relatively unknown works. But he became well known again after landing his role as Pete Campbell in the 60’s drama Mad Men, which is still on now. He also has two films in production, a short called Winter Light, and a drama called Day Out of Days, with Melanie Griffith.

 

Skeet Ulrich

After a few bit parts between 1989 and 1994, Skeet finally got his big break in the teen horror flicks The Craft and Scream, both out in 1996. But then, after a small role in the Jack Nicholson film As Good As It Gets in 1997, he kind of slid off the grid. He got steady work, but nothing really big.

So what’s he up to now?
Skeet Ulrich now

The only thing he’s done of any real consequence is the post-apocalyptic drama Jericho that ran from 2006 to 2008. He also did a season of one of the zillion Law & Order spinoffs in 2011. As of right now, he’s got two TV movies in production, as well as a dramady called Lost in Austin.

 

Ryan Phillippe

After a few small roles on TV and film, Ryan got his big break in the 1996 drama White Squall, with Jeff Bridges. After that role, he got a crap-ton of work, mostly in teen and young adult fare like Nowhere, I Know What You Did Last Summer, 54, and Cruel Intentions, which is probably his most famous role.

So what’s he up to now?
Ryan Phillippe now

He never stopped working after Cruel Intentions, but I have never heard of any of the stuff he’s been in, all the way till The Lincoln Lawyer with Matthew McConnaughey in 2011. He’s currently got two films in production, and looks like he’ll be trying his luck on the small screen. He’s working on a pilot for a mystery show called Secrets & Lies with Juliette Lewis.

 

Robert Sean Leonard

The first time I saw Robert was in Swing Kids. We watched it in history class while I was in high school. I liked him so much that I went on to find more of his movies, going all the way back to his first starring role in 1987’s My Best Friend is a Vampire, which is indeed as silly as it sounds, and it’s awesome! hehe He also had notable roles in Dead Poets Society (don’t forget the kleenex for this one), Much Ado About Nothing, and Killer: A Journal of Murder.

So what’s he up to now?
Robert Sean Leonard now

He worked steadily till 1998, and then roles started to come much less frequently. But then, in 2004, he hit the small screen jackpot, landing the role of Dr James Wilson on the medical drama House, which ran eight seasons. This year he joined the cast of the sci-fi show Falling Skies, which is in its fourth season.

 

River Phoenix

The first film that really made me notice River Phoenix was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (which is still my favourite of the franchise). He wasn’t in the film for very long, as he was playing the young Indy, but he was memorable. He started acting when he was 12, and soon showed that he was very talented, blowing everyone away with his role in Stand By Me, among others. He even got an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his work in My Own Private Idaho, which he should have won. He worked on 1 to 4 projects a year, until 1993.

So what’s he up to now?
River Phoenix

Unfortunately, River’s addictions got the better of him, and in the wee hours of the morning on October 31, 1993, he collapsed outside of the Los Angeles nightclub The Viper Room (partially owned at that time by Johnny Depp, who was a good friend of River’s). He was pronounced dead at 1:51AM, at Cedars-Sinai hospital. The official cause of death was “heart failure due to acute multiple drug intoxication”. He was only 23.

 

Noah Hathaway

After making a bunch of commercials (he started when he was three), he finally broke through and got his first real acting job at the age of 7 in the sci-fi show Battlestar Galactica. After doing that show for two years, he got few other small roles, mostly TV guest spots, until he struck gold in 1984, when he won the role of Atreyu in the classic The NeverEnding Story. He worked steadily for the next two years (most notably in the weird fantasy flick Troll, where he played a character called *gasp!* Harry Potter!!), but he was never able to recapture the success that he had with The NeverEnding Story.

So what’s he up to now?
Noah Hathaway now

He stopped acting completely in 1986, only taking one role in 1996. He opened a dance studio for a while, but stopped after an injury. He went on to get a black belt in Kempo Karate and did some competitions. He married, and later he and his wife opened a shop in California building and fixing “chopper” motorcycles. He occasionally still does appearances in fan expos and conventions. He’s recently decided to give acting another try, doing one project a year since 2012, starting with the odd crime film Sushi Girl.

 

Nick Carter

Nick Carter began his career wanting to be an actor. He did lots of auditioning and landed a few commercials. He also got a bit part in Edward Scissorhands. But it was to be a music career that would rocket him to fame. In 1992, with little Nick a mere 12 years old, the Backstreet Boys are formed. In May 1993, they had their first live gig in Orlando. They recorded their first single We’ve Got It Going On a few months after that. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So what’s he up to now?
Nick Carter Now

He’s made two solo albums, both of which sold relatively well. He made a reality show called House of Carters with all 4 of his siblings. It only lasted one season. He was recently back on tour with the Backstreet Boys for a reunion tour for them along with the New Kids on the Block. This year, he recorded a duet album with Jordan Knight (from NKOTB), called Nick & Knight, and they’re due to start touring in September.

 

Nicholas Brendon

Nicholas won my heart the second I saw him, way back in 1997, in season 1 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it really was the best episode for me to see first. It was the Xander-centric episode The Pack, where he and four bullies are possessed by evil hyena spirits. And of course I’ve been hooked ever since (to both Buffy and Nicky, hehe).

So what’s he up to now?
Nicholas Brendon now

While he’s never been able to recreate the success he had during Buffy‘s seven year run, he’s always kept busy. He’s done voice-over work for video games (mostly Buffy games), and tons of guest spots on various TV shows. Then, in 2007, he got a permanent spot (albeit a small one) on the FBI drama Criminal Minds, as Penelope Garcia’s boyfriend, fellow FBI hacker Kevin Lynch. He’s trying his luck on the big screen again (past efforts are better left untalked about) with the thriller Indigo. There’s also a TV show in the works with a 2015 release date called Chainsaw Sally, which looks to be a horror comedy, starring a few other actors known for horror and fantasy, including Debbie Rochon and Tristan Risk.

 

Jason & Jeremy London

I may be cheating a little here, but really, you can’t talk about one London brother and not the other. While Jason made his name on the big screen with his iconic role as Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd in Dazed and Confused, Jeremy mostly stuck to the small screen, making many guest appearances in all genres of show, and his most known role, that of Griffin Holbrooke on the drama Party of Five, which ran for 6 years, 5 of which Jeremy was in. He didn’t make that many jumps to the big screen, but his most famous movie role is Mallrats, which, I kid you not, I’d always thought was Jason in the role! I found out it was actually Jeremy literally two seconds ago. Way to go, me. But while he wasn’t in that particular film, Jason was in many others, including Man in the Moon, Blood Ties, and the fabulous To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. After Party of Five ended in 2002, Jeremy floundered about for two years, until he got a recurring role on the drama 7th Heaven, which lasted two years.

So what are they up to now?
Jason & Jeremy London Now

Both of them have tons of projects in their film-and-tv-ographies, Jason a ton and a half, but I can recognize literally about 1 out of 12 titles, and even less titles that I’ve actually seen. Most recently, Jason has a small role in the crime drama Untold, and Jeremy was in a sci-fi show called Dark Rising: Warrior of Worlds, neither of which I knew existed. On the horizon, Jeremy has nine projects (one movie completed, seven in post-production, and one merely announced), Jason has seven (two completed, four in post-production, and one currently filming). And out of all these, there’s only one that looks even remotely interesting, a TV show inspired by the story of Jack the Ripper called 7 Faces of Jack the Ripper. I’m not sure how good it’ll be, if it’s good at all, cause the acting in the trailer is pretty atrocious…

 

Ethan Embry

Ethan has an oddball look (and personality to match), but I always thought it was a charming oddball look. If I’m not mistaken, the first time I saw him was in Empire Records, which was, and remains, the teen film to top all teen films. But that, in 1995, was hardly his first rodeo, having done 10 projects before it (none that I’ve actually heard of, but that’s besides the point). After that, his popularity sky-rocketed, and he made two, three, sometimes up to six projects a year till 2003. First, teen films (White Squall, That Thing You Do!, Can’t Hardly Wait, and Disturbing Behaviour), and then more adult roles more suited to his age. Most of his work after 1998 is on TV, either as a show regular, as in the detective drama Dragnet, or as a guest star, of which he did many.

So what’s he up to now?
Ethan Embry Now

Ethan never stopped working, but looking through the list of projects (both TV and film), I only recognize a few names, and even the ones I recognized I haven’t seen. I think the only thing I’ve seen him in recently(ish) is Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, in which he only had a small part. He was a regular in season 2 of the fantasy show Once Upon a Time (which I find boring as heck, but anyways..). He’s got four projects on the way, two completed, one in post-production, and one in pre-production.

And that’s all she wrote!! And in this case, she’s me. I’m the she, and that’s all I wrote. I’m finished, is what I’m saying here :-p

Enjoy my list? Who were your favourite teen heartthrobs? Let me know in the comments!! 🙂

M.

The Most Beautiful Men

It’s no secret: I like beautiful men. I have a pretty specific genre that I like, and if there’s anyone who I find beautiful that’s not in my usual criteria, you can imagine that he’s as damn near perfect as a person can get, hehe. There isn’t really much else to say, this post is pure visual candy. I’m oogling them, and unashamed. Care to join me? Here they are, in alphabetical order (since that’s how they’re ordered in my pictures file :-p ), the men in the entertainment industry that I find the best looking. (For those who prefer women, worry not! I shall do another post like this about the ladies!)

 

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I’ve known who Alexander is for a good while now, but I hadn’t seen anything that he’d done until True Blood. And really, they couldn’t have picked a better actor to portray the thousand year old Viking. He definitely looked his best in season 1, when they actually had him looking like a Viking. He hadn’t cut his hair for a thousand years, why on earth would he start now?? That’s just one of the (many) things that annoy me about the show. But I digress…

 

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Andy Biersack is the lead singer for the rock group Black Veil Brides. I don’t like all their music, but it’s mostly pretty good, and the band is talented. Andy’s vocals are quite amazing, surprisingly deep for someone that looks so… girly :-p If I were putting this list in order, Andy would be very near the top, maybe even number one. Let’s just pretend, for skeezyness’ sake, that he’s not only 21 years old, ok…?

 

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Dorian Gray. That’s really all I need to say here. A quite liberal take on the book, I nevertheless enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I’m sure seeing almost all of Ben’s skin had nothing to do with that… He’s got such a baby face that I was surprised (and rather relieved) that he’s the same age as me!

 

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Before Star Trek 2, I’d never heard of Benedict. My friends have been singing the praises of Sherlock since it came out, but I’d never gotten around to watching it until recently. Before I saw him on the big screen, I’d only seen pictures, and was unimpressed. I thought he was just weird looking, like a strange elf. And then I saw him in action on-screen. And oh. My. God. I had to take back every single thing I said about him. I was so smitten that the very next day after seeing ST2, I hooked myself up to Netflix and watched Sherlock. Watching him in action as the famous sleuth literally takes my breath away. And that voice… mm.

 

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Before Hemlock Grove, I didn’t even know Alexander had a brother (let alone the 3 other siblings he’s got besides Bill!), but after watching the show I have to ask myself, what the heck is in the water in Sweden?? I mean really.

 

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Lead singer for the alternative band Placebo, I’ve been in love with Brian Molko (and Placebo) since I graduated high school. He’s got such a unique voice, makes such amazing, powerful, meaningful music that it’s literally impossible to not love him. He’s 40 now, but he still looks freaking fabulous!

 

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Colin looks good in pretty much everything he’s been in. And if he happens to be in a role that allows him use of his real accent (Irish), the hotness doubles. But if I had to choose the one film he looked best in, I’d have to go with Fright Night, even though he doesn’t have the accent. Cause he plays a vampire, and that trumps everything :-p

 

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I’m sure any girl my age would agree with me, David was the ultimate heartthrob of the 90’s. I was in high school when Buffy the Vampire Slayer first aired, and, like every other teenaged girl with eyes, I was immediately smitten with the vampiric Angel. He plays in Bones now, which is in it’s 9th season, and he hasn’t lost any of his appeal. His few forays onto the big screen went mostly unnoticed (for good reason), but that’s ok. He doesn’t need to be in films to be awesome. TV is a good place to be.

 

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Ah, Doctor. My beautiful, lonely, messed-up Doctor. I’ve only recently discovered Doctor Who, but I’m so very glad I did. David could look good sitting in a burlap sack while reading a phone book. Thankfully though, his roles make him look much better than that. I’m going to say, in the looks department, it’ll be a tie between Doctor Who and Fright Night. If only for the shirtless, leather-pants-clad scene alone.

 

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Cellist in the alternative band Apocalytica, Eicca is as talented as he is beautiful. I saw them live a few years back, and I have to say it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to a lot. Eicca’s weight fluctuates a lot, so sometimes he looks much rounder than usual. I guess that’s when he’s been off tour for a while. Cause the way they run around the stage with their huge instruments night after night, there’s no way he’d keep on any extra pounds! hehe

 

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I’ve loved Elijah since I was a kid. We’re almost the exact same age (he’s 7 months older) so we kinda grew up together. He was a cute kid, then he went through this horrible gawky stage in his teens, but thankfully he grew out of it, and now he’s gorgeous. He’s got the goofiest smile, I think it’s perfectly charming. And those eyes, my goodness. You could fall right into those pools. He’s a wonderful actor, too, which makes him even better!

 

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While he’s gotten too “manly” for me, the first film I saw him in floored me. His role as Dracula in Dracula 2000 was absolutely perfect. It’s still one of my favourite Dracula performances. Taken as what it’s meant to be, Dracula 2000 is awesome.

 

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I’d never heard of Harry before Game of Thrones, although I did just recently see him in a two-part episode of Doctor Who. And while he was cute in the episode, if I were picking favourites, it would definitely be his role as the snivelling ass-hat Prince Viserys. The character has absolutely no redeeming qualities, but my-oh-my was he beautiful. That scene with the girl in the bathtub…. *phew*

 

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I first saw Jackson in Twilight, and while his hair was weird, his face is absolutely stunning. I haven’t seen all his movies, but I think he probably looked his best in The Last Airbender. Mediocre movie at best, but boy, did he make it worthwhile! He really is a great actor, and you can actually see it when he picks good projects to be in (like that chilling episode of Criminal Minds…)

 

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This man seemingly has it all; looks, acting talent, and a hell of a set of pipes. I don’t know where he thinks he gets off being so  talented, I mean really, save some for the rest of us! I’ve seen his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, live twice. And last time I even waited around after the show so I could get his autograph. I’ve never done that before. He’s the first celebrity that I’ve ever touched (our fingers brushed while I took my CD back, ooh :-p ), and while I’m sure it didn’t do anything life-altering to me, it was cool to meet him nonetheless, hehe.

 

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Dean Winchester. Really, do I have to say anything more than that?? You have no idea how happy it makes me that a man this beautiful loves to do horror. It’s just a shame that, despite his looks and talent, he can’t seem to find a good film role. That’s ok, as long as he keeps doing Supernatural, it’s all good.

 

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Beautiful and talented, Johnny’s been one of my favourite actors since I first saw him, all those years ago, in Cry-Baby, which, by rights, should be a very bad movie, and yet somehow isn’t. Or, maybe it is, and I just don’t see it, hehe. Actually, technically it would be Nightmare on Elm Street that I first saw him in, but I was so young that I hardly remember at all, and I actually didn’t know it was Johnny in the role till I saw it again somewhere in my late teens. But my favourite film of his is probably still Sleepy Hollow. Man, I love that flick… Johnny owns a club called The Viper Room in LA (where River Phoenix tragically died), and I went there on my trip to LA a few years back. Sadly, he was not in attendance :-p

 

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I first saw Jonathan in Velvet Goldmine, and have been in love ever since. It seems unfair that someone so attractive should also be so talented, but there you have it. He’s looked amazing in almost all of his roles, but I’d have to pick Titus as the top. The combo of the long hair and tattoos just rocked me. I’m looking forward to see his portrayal of Dracula. As usual, I’m waiting till the end of the season so I can watch at my leisure. So hurry up, dammit! hehe

 

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Jon Snow. That is all. I haven’t seen Kit in anything but Game of Thrones, but with the talent and looks he’s got, I’m sure we’ll be seeing him pop up more in time.

 

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While Lee Pace looks good no matter what he’s doing, He was jaw-droppingly gorgeous (for all of 2 seconds) in The Hobbit. I was so happy to see that he was in this movie, and after spending the whole movie waiting to see him again, I was quite upset it never happened. Thank goodness there’s two other Hobbit films to come! I certainly hope I’ll get to see the second before it leaves cinemas!

 

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Matthew (of the ever-changing hair) is the lead singer for alternative rock band Muse, one of my very favourite bands. I *finally* got to see them live this year (last time they came round I found out on the day of. I was not amused), and it was fan-bloody-tastic. If I believed in angels, I’d say his voice was a gift straight from the angels. As it is, I’ll just say his voice is amazing. And he sounds just as good live as he does on the CD. You’d be surprised (or not) at how many singers don’t.

 

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I’ve just recently started watching Criminal Minds, and boy am I glad I did (and not only because of Matthew). It’s such a great show, awesome stories, solid acting all the way around, just generally a great show. Not a very realistic view of FBI procedures I’m sure, but really now, what show is? I’m at season 7 now, at the beginning, I’ve only watched the first episode. Matthew’s character, Dr Spencer Reid, is one of the best characters in the show. He’s a gorgeous geek, and a complete genius. I’ve only seen him in one film (How to be a Serial Killer), but it was pretty good, if a little weird. I don’t actually know what else he’s been in. I should probably check it out… And, yes, I just realized I spelled his name wrong in my picture, but I’m too lazy to change it. So there.

 

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Castiel. Nuff said. Oddly enough, when Castiel first showed himself in season 4 of Supernatural, I wasn’t all that impressed. He was good looking, yes, but nothing special. But through his interaction with Dean Winchester, and the force of his personality, he got more beautiful by the second. I’m so upset at the direction that Supernatural writers took the character, especially in season 7. He just doesn’t feel like the same person any more. I know character development is important in a show, but really, did he have to “develop” that far??

 

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My favourite Nicholas Hoult film is definitely Warm Bodies, but I can’t really say that’s the film he looks the best in. The goth/emo look is fine. Dead? Not so much. But he was absolutely breathtaking in A Single Man. And not because he was naked a whole lot near the end. Ok, not just because… :-p But holy crap, what a downer that film was, especially the ending. I was so emotionally wrung out after that, I needed to watch a cartoon afterwards, hehe.

 

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I first saw Orlando in Lord of the Rings and he literally took my breath away. Not the best of actors, but when you look like he does, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. To choose whether he looked better in Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean, though, that’s impossible. So I call a tie. Looking forward to seeing him in The Desolation of Smaug, even though, from what I saw in the trailers, his face seems to be very CGI’d. Did he age that badly in just over 10 years..?

 

Robert Downey Jr

I’ve loved Robert Downey Jr since I was a kid. He’s so talented, I just can’t believe he still doesn’t have an Oscar. He was nominated twice, but never won. What a shame. But like a fine wine, Robert seems to get better with age. He’s always been good looking, but he was positively gorgeous as Tony Stark. And he still makes my heart flutter in Only You, one of my all-time favourite chick flicks.

 

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Strangely enough, when I first saw Thor, I can’t say that I really noticed Tom. I’m not sure why, maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. But then The Avengers came out, and my jaw literally hit the floor. That scene where Loki’s at the party, coming down the stairs, in that suit? The man couldn’t have looked more perfect than if he’d walked straight out of my dreams.

 

Honourable mentions for actors who have passed away

I feel a little gross including dead men in my list of beauties, so I’ll list a few off here, to remind you how good looking they were in life:

River Phoenix (The Thing Called Love, Stand By Me)
Heath Ledger (10 Things I Hate About You, The Dark Knight)
Brandon Lee (The Crow)
Brad Renfro (The Client, Apt Pupil)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Just One of the Girls)
Kurt Cobain (singer of alternative band Nirvana)
Glenn Quinn (Angel)

And that’s it. What did you think? Which male celebrities make you weak in the knees? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

M.