Tag Archives: daily review

Mar 8 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Chernobyl Diaries

Chernobyl Diaries
(2012) Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Dimitri Diatchenko, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Devin Kelley, Jesse McCartney, Nathan Phillips and Jonathan Sadowski

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So, I went into this not too sure what to expect. I thought it was another one of those found footage films that are all over the place these days, and was pleasantly surprised when I was wrong. And I’m happy to report that the film itself was quite good. Starts off light and fun, lags a little bit round the halfway point, then picks up again and doesn’t let up till the end of the film. The acting was surprisingly good for this genre of movie, and while the story won’t get any originality points, it was still well done and well put together. If I had to gripe about something, it would be the fact that we don’t really get an explanation for what’s going on, and why what happened at the end of the film happened. But other than that, it was quite enjoyable, and subtly creepy. I give it a 7.5/10.

The film unfortunately isn’t on Netflix, nor is there a full version on YouTube. But if you can get your hands on it, it’s well worth a gander.

 

M.

Feb 27 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Unrest

Unrest
(2006) Corri English, Joshua Alba, Scot Davis, Jay Jablonski, Marisa Petroro and Derrick O’Connor

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To start with the obvious, the acting wasn’t great. The male lead wasn’t too bad, but the girl… yee. The story is interesting, yet very, very disorganized. Things just keep happening and the characters react in such a way that seems very… unhuman? I dunno. A roomful of doctors (and that psychologist in particular, where on earth she’d get her degree? Miskatonic U? jeez…) taking it at face-value that there’s an angry spirit in the hospital doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Even in a movie in which we’re actually talking about spirits to begin with. And that Aztec music, really, it was driving me nuts. So all in all, it had a few good scenes, but was mostly just a jumble of wtf. 5.5/10, the extra .5 of a point goes to the pretty boy.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. There’s also a full version on YouTube, but it’s got (what looks like Vietnamese) subtitles.

 

M.

Feb 26 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Bathory

Bathory
(2008) Anna Friel, Karel Roden, Hans Matheson, Vincent Regan, Deana Jakubiskova, Bolek Polivka and Antony Byrne

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The film is absolutely beautiful, with gorgeous costumes, stunning locations and the statuesque Anna Friel in the lead role. It’s a rather long film, clocking in at 2h15, and unfortunately, you start to feel that time about an hour and a half in. Up until that laggy point, the film is excellent, a wonderful historical biopic, but it looses it’s steam during the second act, before picking up again for the last 15 minutes. A shame, really. The story is told from a slightly different historical standpoint, as if Erzsebet Bathory weren’t the blood hungry Countess history claims she is, but the victim of the government and other nobles trying to gain her lands (she owned more land than the King, about 1/3rd of the country). It’s really hard to tell, with these larger than life villains, how much is real, and how much was propaganda. The same could be said for Vlad the Impaler. He was a vicious warlord, and he did indeed impale people, but more and more evidence is unearthed that shows that he was no more vicious than the next warlord of those times, and what he did, he did to protect his country. There is no record in her own words (nor Vlad’s) about what happened, and the stories inevitably warp and change over the centuries. Was Erzsebet Bathory the most prolific serial killer of (almost) all time? Or just another victim? Impossible to know for sure, but we’re certainly drawn to her story.

The film is not currently on Netflix, nor is it on YouTube (not in english, anyways), but there is another film about Bathory’s life called The Countess, with Julie Delpy, and that one is streaming. It’s also pretty good, though this one claims that she was indeed a villain, not a victim. Both are worth tracking down.

 

M.

Feb 23 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Possession

The Possession
(2012) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Madison Davenport, Natasha Calis, Grant Show, Jay Brazeau and Ned Bellamy

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Despite it being the kind of story that’s told over and over (and over), this one was really really good. The acting was top notch, the dialogue wasn’t corny or cheezy at all. I have to admit, though, a few times during the film I just thought to myself “Come on, Winchester, just salt and burn that bitch”, hehehe. I guess that’s the downside of playing such a well known character. In a fun little twist, we got treated to a Jewish exorcism instead of the traditional Catholic one, which is to say it was almost the same, just a little funnier (sorry, but it’s true :-p ) All in all, good story, good acting, good visuals, good film. I give it a solid 8.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!

 

M.

Feb 22 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Half Light

Half Light
(2005) Demi Moore, Hans Matheson, James Cosmo, Henry Ian Cusick, Kate Isitt and Therese Bradley

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Demi Moore suffers from Keanu-Reeves-syndrome in this film. Meaning, of course, that she wears pretty much the same expression throughout the whole film, whether she’s falling in love, or finding her son’s dead body. The plot is interesting, if a little too convoluted for it’s own good. What’s real? What’s imagined? Are there actual ghosts? Is she insane? Is everyone plotting against her? There’s an answer for everything, but my goodness does it tire you out. In the end, I think there was just too much going on for me to enjoy it completely. It gets an all right 6/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix.

 

M.

Feb 21 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Woman in Black

The Woman in Black
(2012) Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Shaun Dooley, Sophie Stuckey, Mary Stockley and Liz White

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I absolutely loved this film. I thought it was incredibly well done, well acted and very atmospheric. It’s hard to keep a film that has so little dialogue interesting, but I wasn’t bored for a second. I was very pleased to see young Daniel up his game. It’s a demanding sort of role, a lot has to be said with the face and body. They had a few Boo!scares, but not so many that it got annoying (it would be awesome if films stopped using them altogether, but that’s me dreaming in technicolour again). Just as good the second (and third, and forth) time around, I gave it a 10/10.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. If you haven’t seen, I highly reccomend it. Go, now!! :-p

 

M.

Feb 19 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Les Rivières Pourpres (The Crimson Rivers)

Les Rivières Pourpres
(2000) Jean Reno, Vincent Cassel, Nadia Farès, Dominique Sanda, Karim Belkhadra, Didier Flamand and Jean-Pierre Cassel

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Pretty good French thriller about two detectives who end up working on the same case involving gruesome serial murders, despite both of them starting from very different places. This is the most Americanized French film I’ve ever seen (not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, French films are generally a little too weird for me, so injecting a little mainstream into it made it just right). I have to say though, I speak perfect french, and I had to turn the subtitles on. Not just for the sheer amount of France slang, but, with the exception of Jean Reno, they all seem to have hot potatoes in their mouths. They were the Merry Mumblers. Especially Vincent Cassel. Holy crap. I could just barely make out what he was saying. The end of the film was pretty awesome on the spot, but then, once the film is over and you start thinking about it, there’s just no way. It makes no sense. So I’m choosing not to think about it, and it gets to keep its score of 7/10.

The movie is currently streaming on Netflix in its original french, english subtitles available.

 

M.

Feb 18 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Insidious Chapter 2

Insidious Chapter 2
(2013) Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Steve Coulter, Lin Shaye, Ty Simpkins, Barbara Hershey and Leigh Whannell

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Well, there’s 1h45 that I’m never going to see again. Considering how good (if a little silly near the end) the first one was, I was so disappointed in this sequel. The story was interesting, but is told in such a fashion that it bored me out of my gourd. I was so bored, in fact, that halfway through I took out my phone to play Tiny Death Star. Despite the interesting story, the movie just fails to captivate, and that’s a big no-no, especially for horror films. I should be looking away from the screen because I’m scared, not because I’m bored. 4/10, and that’s probably me being over-generous.

This film is not currently on Netflix. Save yourself some time and money, and don’t bother renting it.

 

M.

Feb 17 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Vamps

Vamps
(2012) Alicia Silverstone, Krysten Ritter, Dan Stevens, Wallace Shawn, Richard Lewis, Malcolm McDowell and Sigourney Weaver

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I went into this expecting Clueless with fangs, and that’s exactly what I got, and so much more. This film is funny, touching and schmoopy. Alicia plays the role to a T, as I knew she would, but really, where does she get the nerve to still look THAT gorgeous?? I was a little surprised by the ending, I wasn’t expecting such a light film to end so tragically, but it didn’t take away from it at all. Clueless was, and still is, one of my very favourite guilty pleasures, and this one will take it’s spot right next to it. A very solid 9/10.

The film isn’t currently on Netflix. But go find somewhere else to rent it, it’s worth every penny. Or you can be cheap and download it. It’s all the same to me :-p

 

M.

Feb 15 2014

Mel’s 5 Second Review: American Mary

American Mary
(2013) Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk, David Lovgren and Paula Lindberg

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I wasn’t sure what to expect while going into this film. I’m not a fan of the so-called torture-porn, and while I had heard good things about this film, I didn’t know if it was going to be graphic about the surgeries. Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad at all, which allowed me to enjoy the rest of the film. Katharine Isabelle is wonderful as Mary, who starts out so apple pie, but quickly goes a little mad after being raped by her professor. I was a little disappointed by the ending, which is why it got 8.5 stars instead of the 9 or 9.5 I thought I’d give it. It just felt slapped on and rushed, like the Soska sisters just decided to say “Ok, bored now, wrap this up”. Despite that, it was a very entertaining film. I give it a solid 8.5/10.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. Have a bloody good time!

 

M.