Jeepers Creepers Reborn (2022)
Sydney Craven, Imran Adams, Jarreau Benjamin, Ocean Navarro, Peter Brooke, Matt Barkley, Alexander Halsall, Georgia Goodman, Jodie Mcmullen, Gary Graham, and Dee Wallace
Directed by: Timo Vuorensola

Oh boy. I’ve got to stop making spur of the second decisions on what to watch, especially when they’re based on a sequel. Cause when I do, I end up watching movies like this one.

Laine and her boyfriend Chase are headed to a horror convention. While there, they “win” an evening in an escape room that’s supposed to be Creeper themed, based on the area’s urban legend. Little do they know that the Creeper is very real and wants Laine for a specific reason.

SPOILERS INCOMING because then you won’t have to watch this. You’re welcome.

The film opens with what’s essentially the opening of the first film, but with an old couple (one of whom is Dee Wallace. I guess everyone has bills to pay). But that’s just a video Chase is watching. He’s apparently obsessed with the legend of the Creeper, so much so that he’s dragging his girlfriend to a horror convention. She pulls over to throw up, and we’re introduced to a character who’s supposed to meet them there, I guess? She tells him on the phone to call her when he gets to the hotel. Then she never mentions him again. He, of course, is the first victim. So then there’s a creepy voodoo store lady who somehow knows that Laine is pregnant, and is apparently going to feed her to the Creeper. She rigs the contest to win the escape room, so off they go to the haunted house. What follows after that is a standard locked-in-a-house-with-a-maniac scenario.

First the good. The acting is not that bad. A few of the actors actually seem to know what they’re doing. And it looks like a film. meaning it’s pretty competently shot and filmed. And that concludes our section on the good. The Creeper makeup was awful. The teeth were so white, and they looked like they were going to fall right out of the face. The cgi was terrible, with oh-so-obvious green screen in a few shots that they should really be embarrassed about. And the story is so unbelievably silly, it hurt my brain. Cultists and visions and baby-eating monsters, oh my. I kept on wanting to turn it off, but then I figured it would make a good topic to rant about here, so I stuck with it. Thankfully, it’s not that long, clocking in at 1 hour 28 minutes. I might not have made it otherwise. Do yourself a favour: skip this one. It’s a (very generous) 2.5/10.

M.

This movie, should you really feel like watching it even after my warning, is on Amazon Prime.