Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by:
Brett Leonard
Year:
1992
Starring:
Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Gary Dauberman
Year:
2024
Starring:
Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes:
I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by:
Fraser C Heston
Year:
1993
Starring:
Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes:
I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by:
Mark Pavia
Year:
1997
Starring:
Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by:
Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring:
Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Stanley Kubrick
Year:
1980
Starring:
Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes:
I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1996
Starring:
Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes:
Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by:
Lewis Teague
Year:
1983
Starring:
Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Tobe Hooper
Year:
1979
Starring:
David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes:
I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by:
John Carpenter
Year:
1983
Starring:
Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes:
I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by:
Lawrence Kasdan
Year:
2003
Starring:
Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes:
This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1995
Starring:
Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes:
Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by:
John Power
Year:
1993
Starring:
Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes:
I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by:
Brian De Palma
Year:
1976
Starring:
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes:
Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes:
I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by:
David Cronenberg
Year:
1983
Starring:
Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes:
I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by:
David Koepp
Year:
2004
Starring:
Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes:
Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year:
2019
Starring:
Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes:
It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by:
Nikolaj Arcel
Year:
2017
Starring:
Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes:
*Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1997
Starring:
Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes:
I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by:
Bryan Singer
Year:
1998
Starring:
Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes:
Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by:
Mark L Lester
Year:
1984
Starring:
Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes:
Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by:
George A Romero
Year:
1993
Starring:
Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes:
I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Mikael Salomon
Year:
2004
Starring:
Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes:
Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2019
Starring:
James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1986
Starring:
Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes:
I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1990
Starring:
James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes:
Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes:
An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by:
Mikael Håfström
Year:
2007
Starring:
John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes:
I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by:
Rob Savage
Year:
2023
Starring:
Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes:
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
2007
Starring:
Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes:
Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by:
Daniel Attias
Year:
1985
Starring:
Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes:
I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
2002
Starring:
Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes:
Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Mary Lambert
Year:
1989
Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes:
Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by:
Tommy Lee Wallace
Year:
1990
Starring:
Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes:
I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1994
Starring:
Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes:
Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1994
Starring:
Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes:
With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2017
Starring:
Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

My Top 15 Teen Films

Most teen films are the sort of thing that you’ll watch over and over when you’re a teenager, but then once an adult you try watch it again and are horrified by how awful it actually was. But every so often a gem will be made that somehow remains fun to watch even in our old age. Here’s my list of the teen films that I loved as a kid, and still love now. Enjoy! 🙂

 

NUMBER 15

15 Just One of the Girls

Title: Just One of the Girls (also known as Anything for Love)
Starring: Corey Haim, Nicole Eggert, Cameron Bancroft, Johannah Newmarch, Gabe Khouth, Rachel Hayward, Lochlyn Munro, Kevin McNulty, and Wendy Van Riesen
Released in: 1993
Directed by: Michael Keusch
Written by: Raul Fernandez
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: To avoid bullies on his way to a new school, Chris dresses up as a girl. It works like a charm, until he’s caught in costume by one of his teachers and is forced to stay in disguise. Things get tricky when he meets the girl of his dreams, and the girl’s brother tries to get with him.
Why I Love It: It’s a by-the-numbers gender-swap film, but it’s still fun to see Corey Haim in drag. He does a good job of pretending to be a girl, and is actually passable, unlike so many others in the genre.

 

NUMBER 14

14 Just One of the Guys

Title: Just One of the Guys
Starring: Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner, Billy Jacoby, Toni Hudson, William Zabka, Leigh McCloskey, and Sherilyn Fenn
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Lisa Gottlieb
Written by: Dennis Feldman, Jeff Franklin
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After having her article passed over for an internship for a boy’s, Terri decides to enroll in a new school as a boy to prove that her article was passed over just because she’s a girl.
Why I Love It: Another gender-swap, but this is one of the best ones I’ve seen, from teen or adult fare. Joyce Hyser is hilariously wonderful, and actually makes for a rather attractive boy. But I’ve always liked the girly-boys, so I might be biased, hehe.

 

NUMBER 13

13 Cry-Baby

Title: Cry-Baby
Starring: Johnny Depp, Amy Locane, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, Susan Tyrrell, Polly Bergen, Iggy Pop, Kim McGuire, Darren E Burrows, Stephen Mailer, and Kim Webb
Released in: 1990
Directed by: John Waters
Written by: John Waters
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: A bad-boy (or Drape) with a heart of gold falls for a good girl (or Square), and while the Drapes are very accepting of the girl, the Squares are determined to keep them apart.
Why I Love It: By all accounts, this should be an awful movie. But I don’t know, I absolutely love it. It’s silly with some pretty shifty acting, and is nothing close to real life, but I dunno, it all just works.

 

NUMBER 12

12 Save the Last Dance

Title: Save the Last Dance
Starring: Julia Stiles, Sean Patrick Thomas, Kerry Washington, Fredro Starr, Terry Kinney, Bianca Lawson, Vince Green, Garland Whitt, and Dorothy Martin
Released in: 2001
Directed by: Thomas Carter
Written by: Duane Adler, Cheryl Edwards
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After her mother dies in an accident, a white teen moves to LA with her father. She attends a new school in a poor area of town where most of the students are black. There she meets a boy who rekindles her love of dance.
Why I Love It: I love dance movies, even ones where the lead character isn’t really that good at it (her final dance routine was less than impressive). And then pair the dancing with a schmoopy love story and some good dramatic scenes, and you’ve got yourself a winning formula for a successful teen film.

 

NUMBER 11

11 Juno

Title: Juno
Starring: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, JK Simmons, Olivia Thirlby, Daniel Clark, and Rainn Wilson
Released in: 2007
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Written by: Diablo Cody
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After getting pregnant by her best friend, a quirky teen decides to go ahead and have the baby, finding a couple to adopt the child in a PennySaver magazine.
Why I Love It: It’s fun, quirky, and witty, and has a good message. Most of the actors are surprisingly good (except Jennifer Garner, who plays a plank of wood, as usual), and the writing is awesome, despite the fact that no one on the planet talks like they do (not before the film came out, anyways).

 

NUMBER 10

10 Get Real

Title: Get Real
Starring: Ben Silverstone, Brad Gorton, Charlotte Brittain, Stacy Hart, Kate McEnery, and Patrick Nielsen
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Simon Shore
Written by: Patrick Wilde
Based On: The play of the same name by Patrick Wilde
5 Second Synopsis: This tenderly romantic film tells the story of Steve, a young man in a British prep school, as he struggles with coming out and falling in love with the class jock, John. Who, amazingly, falls in love with him as well. But their relationship starts to feel the strain as John constantly hides his sexuality, and refuses to acknowledge Steve in public.
Why I Love It: Such a poignant love story, and one that all too many teens go through at least once in their lives, gay or straight. Unfortunately, sometimes love just isn’t enough. This is a wonderful little film, with good acting and writing. Definitely one to see if you enjoy the genre.

 

NUMBER 9

9 Can't Hardly Wait

Title: Can’t Hardly Wait
Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ethan Embry, Seth Green, Charlie Korsmo, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Jaime Pressly, Jenna Elfman, Melissa Joan Hart, Breckin Meyer, and Jerry O’Connell
Released in: 1998
Directed by: Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan
Written by: Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After being in love with the school hottie for years, a shy student decides to finally tell her how he feels about her at their class’ graduation party. Of course, shenanigans ensue.
Why I Love It: It’s fun, silly, sort of pointless, but that’s all part of it’s appeal. The actors do a great job acting like teenagers (no small feat, since most of the actors in the film are in their 20’s or 30’s). Grab your popcorn and prepare to laugh, swoon, and just have a good time.

 

NUMBER 8

8 Cruel Intentions

Title: Cruel Intentions
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Sean Patrick Thomas, Joshua Jackson, Christine Baranski, Eric Mabius, and Swoosie Kurtz
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Roger Kumble
Written by: Roger Kumble
Based On: Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos
5 Second Synopsis: Kathryn makes a bet that her step-brother, Sebastian, won’t be able to bed Annette (a virgin, who wants to wait until love). If he loses, Kathryn gets his Jaguar. If he wins, he gets Kathryn.
Why I Love It: Stronger writing and acting than most teen films of the time, and I guess it’s in part because of the fact that the source material was definitely not intended for kids. This is a definite gem of the 90’s.

 

NUMBER 7

7 Dazed and Confused

Title: Dazed and Confused
Starring: Jason London, Wiley Wiggins, Matthew McConaughey, Rory Cochrane, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Shawn Andrews, Marissa Ribisi, Anthony Rapp, Adam Goldberg, Sasha Jenson, Milla Jovovich, and Jeremy Fox
Released in: 1993
Directed by: Richard Linklater
Written by: Richard Linklater
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: It’s the last day of school at a high school in a small town in Texas in 1976. The upperclassmen are hazing the incoming freshmen, and everyone is trying to get stoned, drunk, or laid, even the football players that signed a pledge not to.
Why I Love It: They say if you remember the 70’s you weren’t there. I may not remember them (since I wasn’t born yet), but I got a good idea of things were like with this fun, sometimes crazy, film. It’s also fun to see a bunch of big name actors getting their starts here, including Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, and Milla Jovovich. A total riot to watch, start to finish.

 

NUMBER 6

6 10 Things I Hate About You

Title: 10 Things I Hate About You
Starring: Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, David Krumholtz, Andrew Keegan, Susan May Pratt, Gabrielle Union, Larry Miller, Daryl Mitchell, and Allison Janney
Released in: 1999
Directed by: Gil Junger
Written by: Karen McCullah, Kirsten Smith
Based On: The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (loosely based :-p )
5 Second Synopsis: A popular teen can’t date until her tempermental older sister starts dating too, so her suitor decides to pay the school bad-boy to ask her out.
Why I Love It: Well written, well acted with lots and lots of eye candy, this is one of the very best teen films to come out of the 90’s. It was also my introduction to the hunky Heath Ledger, who’s career I followed after seeing him here.

 

NUMBER 5

5 The Goonies

Title: The Goonies
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey
Released in: 1985
Directed by: Richard Donner
Written by: Chris Columbus
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: After finding out that his family will loose their home to an unscrupulous developer who’s buying up the neighbourhood to tear everything down and build a golf course, a teen and his friends make a pact to find a hidden treasure of legend in a local cave.
Why I Love It: I might be skating along the lines of what’s a teen film and what’s a kid’s film here, but it’s so good that I decided to go ahead and put it in anyways. So much fun, a definite childhood classic. Everybody do the truffle shuffle!! hehe

 

NUMBER 4

4 Hackers

Title: Hackers
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Jesse Bradford, Matthew Lillard, Renoly Santiago, Fisher Stevens, Laurence Mason, Lorraine Bracco, Marc Anthony, Wendell Pierce, and Alberta Watson
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Iain Softley
Written by: Rafael Moreu
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: A group of teen hackers find out about a plot to capsize an oil tanker if millions of dollars aren’t sent to a specific bank account, and with the police hot on their trails, they have to find the hacker behind the crime before they’re the ones blamed for it.
Why I Love It: It was one of the first films to really get me interested in computers. And even though I was very disappointed to find out real hacking is nothing like what is shown in this film, I’ve always had my own computer ever since then. Plus, with the caliber of actors that they were able to attract and a good director, that means that this is one of the best made teen films out there. So much fun, so much eye candy, and to top it all off, a totally bitchin soundtrack.

 

NUMBER 3

2 Pretty in Pink

Title: Pretty in Pink
Starring: Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Andrew McCarthy, Annie Potts, James Spader, Andrew Dice Clay, and Harry Dean Stanton
Released in: 1986
Directed by: Howard Deutch
Written by: John Hughes
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: When a rich boy and poor girl start dating, friends on either side will do anything to make sure they separate.
Why I Love It: One of the all time classics, this little teen film is so romantic sometimes that it’ll make you choke, and so funny in other times that you’ll pee yourself (ie: any scenes with Duckie. Love him!) All the teen romance clichés are here, and that’s because this film (and others around the same time) ‘invented’ all of them. Its look is very very 80’s, a lot of the clothes is hideous (especially that god damned pink dress at the end… what the hell were they thinking??? But I digress…), but it does nothing to take the wonderfulness of the film away. Plus, young James Spader. Meow.

 

NUMBER 2

3 The Breakfast Club

Title: The Breakfast Club
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, John Kapelos, and Paul Gleason
Released in: 1985
Directed by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: Five very different teens are in an all detention in the school library. As the day goes by, they open up to each other and realize that they’re not as different as they thought.
Why I Love It: One of the quintessential teen films, this is one of the movies that started it all, with a group of actors affectionately known as The Brat Pack. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain why I love this one. It hits the high-school-life-nail right on its head. Amazing. And Judd Nelson as Bender? Holy hot!

 

And now for my number 1, well…. I’m going to cheat here, big time. There was no way that I was going to be able to choose one or the other as my very favourite, so I decided to make my number 1 a tie. And so, here’s my…

 

NUMBERS 1

1 Empire Records

Title: Empire Records
Starring: Rory Cochrane, Johnny Whitworth, Anthony LaPaglia, Robin Tunney, Renée Zellweger, Liv Tyler, Ethan Embry, Coyote Shivers, Brendan Sexton III, Maxwell Caulfield, and Debi Mazar
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Allan Moyle
Written by: Carol Heikkinen
Based On: N/A
5 Second Synopsis: The employees of an independent music store learn about each other as they try anything to stop the store from being absorbed by a large chain.
Why I Love It: I can’t even explain how much I love this film. I saw it when it first came out (I was 14), and I fell instantly in love with it, and have been ever since. Thankfully, it still holds up well today, and I give it a watch every once in a while, and it never fails to make me smile.

 

1 Clueless

Title: Clueless
Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Elisa Donovan, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Justin Walker, Julie Brown, Twink Caplan, Wallace Shawn, and Dan Hedaya
Released in: 1995
Directed by: Amy Heckerling
Written by: Amy Heckerling
Based On: Emma by Jane Austen (loosely based :-p )
5 Second Synopsis: Popular, rich girls Cher and Dionne decide to take a new, frumpy student under their wing and give her a makeover, while their love lives run amok.
Why I Love It: I don’t think I need to explain how awesome this film is. It’s over the top and ridiculous in so many ways, but the actors are all perfect in their roles, and the film comes off as completely sweet and charming instead of grating and self-indulgent (the way I imagine teens in that world actually are ;-p ). They could not have picked a better actress for the main role of Cher, Alicia Silverstone is absolutely perfect.

 

And that’s my list!! What are your favourite teen films? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 😀

M.