Jun 16 2014

Fishiest Queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race (Seasons 1 to 4)

Have no idea what a fishy queen is? Let me explain. A drag queen described as “fishy” is a drag queen who looks like a woman so much that she could easily be mistaken for the real thing. The ladies in this list are the fishiest queens from seasons 1 to 4 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. This is not to say that these were my favourite contestants on the show, just the girliest. A good half of my favourites aren’t going to be in this list because, while totally fierce, you can still tell there’s a man under all that makeup. So here they are, my fishy queens, in alphabetical order (cause I’m too lazy to take the time to rank them in order of fishiness :-p ).

We unfortunately didn’t get to see much of Alisa, she was the first to be sent home in season 4. She’s incredibly beautiful, but unfortunately the judges weren’t wowed by her “post-apocalyptic couture”, and she got the boot. Too bad, I’d have liked to see more of her.

Carmen is dumber than a sack of bricks, and I felt like smacking her around a few times, but she really is gorgeous. Her first runway look of season 3 almost literally took my breath away. How a boy got blessed with a body like that is crazy (and unfair!! hehe).

One of my top 5 queens, Chad is a stunner. Put her side to side (in full drag) with Cher, and it’d be mighty hard to tell the two apart!

At the beginning of the season she was a little rough around the edges, but after a little grooming from Ru and the judges, she became one of the fiercest of the season. She beautiful, and it’s very easy to forget she’s really a man.

Little Kenya! What she lacked in height, she certainly made up for in beauty. Absolutely stunning, and so fishy that even out of drag it’s hard to tell that she’s a boy.

Definitely not one of my favourite queens, but it’s undeniable that she’s fishy. She’s got very soft, feminine features, it’s just too bad that, in fierceness, she was just so… meh.

Abrasive the moment she opens her mouth, it was hard to root for her to take the crown (not that I was anyways, but that’s not the point :-p ). But she’s definitely beautiful, there’s no denying that. She’s feminine even out of drag, so once in drag it’s almost impossible to tell that she’s a he.

I didn’t particularly like Mariah, despite her fishiness. She was a little stand-offish and cold, and always looked slightly bored. She’s definitely a dude out of drag, but the makeup completely transforms her, making it very easy to mistake her for the real thing.

Oh Phi Phi. I spent most of season 4 just wanting her to go away, but drama gets the ratings (lord only knows why, ugh), so I had to put up with her till the very last episode of the season. She’s not always fishy, especially when she “drags too much” (puts on too much makeup, which I didn’t even know was a thing in the drag world), but when she tones it down and really tries for that real girl look, she nails it.

Another queen who’s not always fishy (especially when she’s got that 5 o’clock shadow showing), but when she gets her makeup and hair just right, you can hardly tell that she’s a he.

As beautiful as she is, I’d completely forgotten about her by the time I started making this post. Being that forgettable is a big no-no when you’re trying to be any kind of star, but most especially for a drag performer. But if fishiness was the only qualification needed, she’d definitely have been in the top.

Stacy was all kinds of awesome. Such a kind, soft person, she almost doesn’t belong in the drag world. While she may not be many people’s definition of beauty, she is definitely one of the fishiest queens in the history of the show. Even out of drag, even naked, she still looked like a woman.

I could never decide if I liked Tatianna or not. She’s undeniably beautiful, even more so than most women (bitch!), but she could be so annoying. And bitchy! Oh my god, so bitchy! I suppose that’s what happens when you’re that gorgeous… :-p

I was so looking forward to a season with this quirky, fun performer, but unfortunately she failed to impress the judges, and was sent home first. I really don’t understand why. Yes, her “christmas couture” was a little busy, but I really liked it. And she looked stunning.

With her eccentric look, Yara was one of my favourites. She wasn’t always fishy, but when she got it right, she got it damn right!

And that’s my list! I’ll eventually get around to watching the later seasons, and I’ll do an updated version of this post when I do, and I’ll also do a post of my favourite queens, the ones I was rooting for. But, till then, bye bye!! 🙂

May 10 2014

Top 15 Onscreen Vampires

Before I do any big list-like post, I always sit and jot down in my notebook the things (in this case, vampires) that will be in the list, and what order they’ll be in, if any. And then I go Google hunting for the pictures that will be in the post, and do the editing, if needed. This step (especially for edited pictures, like there’ll be in this post) is long, so I’ll often do the post itself on another day. So anyways, I got my notebook and started to write the names of my favourite movie and tv vampires. Once I was done, I counted and groaned. 18. This was supposed to be a top 10 list, not top 18! And I’m a little OCD about certain things, so I can’t have a top 18. I just can’t. So I had three choices. Cut 8 for a top 10, cut 3 for a top 15, or add two for a top 20. There was no way I was going to be able to choose 8 characters to delete, and top 20 would just take much too long to do, so I decided to do a top 15. Since there’s no need for an explanation for what this post is about, let’s get right to it. Oh, and there’s no order except for the order they’re in in my pictures folder, so, alphabetical. Also, spoiler alert! Onwards!!

Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

“I wanna help because I don’t think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world”

Played by: David Boreanaz
Real name: Liam (unknown last name)
Born in: Ireland
Age when introduced: 242
Scary or sexy: Both! He’s gorgeous as a man, but his vampire face is demonic.
Good or evil: Good. Though he becomes evil in Buffy‘s season 2 after loosing his soul (and then again in a few episodes of Angel), he always gets it back.
Powers: Extra strength and stamina, awesome fighting skills, fast healing, smoldering bedroom eyes (what? It’s a power!)
Effects of sunlight: Angel go poof
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, fire, decapitation, sunlight
Alive at the end?: Yes (I’m not counting the comics, but even if I were, he’s still alive as of the last one I read.)
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Damon Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries

“I like this. You… walking on egg shells around me because you think I’m going to explode. It’s very suspensable. Is Elena worried too? I bet I’m your every conversation.”

Played by: Ian Somerhalder
Real name: Damon Salvatore
Born in: Mystic Falls, a fictional town in Virginia
Age when introduced: 169
Scary or sexy: Sexy. So very sexy. His vampire face is slightly creepy (black demon eyes and dark veins under the eyes), but not enough to make him ugly.
Good or evil: Both. When we first meet him, he’s definitely evil and has no qualms about killing people. But the longer he stays with his brother Stefan and the girl they both love, Elena, he slowly becomes good. He’s such a great, complicated character.
Powers: Extra strength and stamina, fast healing, mind control (glamour), super speed, enhanced senses
Effects of sunlight: He has a ring that allows him to go out into the sun, but if he didn’t have it on, he would burn.
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, fire, decapitation, sunlight, incredibly severe trauma (if there’s no blood around to help them heal)
Alive at the end?: Unknown, not only because the show is still on, so we won’t know the answer till the end of the series, but also because I’m STILL in season 2. I know, I know, but I have soooo much to watch! Waaaaah!
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

David Van Etten, The Lost Boys / Lost Boys: The Tribe

“Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You’ll never grow old, Michael, and you’ll never die. But you must feed!”

Played by: Keifer Sutherland (The Lost Boys), Tom Savini (Lost Boys: The Tribe)
Real name: David Van Etten
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown, but at least 100, since he remembers stuff from the early 1900’s
Scary or sexy: Sexy. His vampire face is the same as his human face, just with fangs and red and yellow eyes.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Flight, slight mind control, super strength
Effects of sunlight: David go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, being completely submersed in holy water
Alive at the end?: No. Although he’s apparently in the sequel (made 20 years later), so I guess that means he somehow survived? I dunno, I haven’t seen it. It looks like a giant turd. But I figured I might be called out if I ignored it, so here it is :-p
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Michael impaled him on a pair of long, sharp antlers.

Deacon Frost, Blade

“Maybe it’s time we forgot about discretion. We should be ruling the humans, not running around making back ally treaties with them. For fucks sake, these people are our food, not our allies.”

Played by: Stephen Dorff
Real name: Deacon Frost
Born in: Germany (according to the comics, it’s not mentioned in the film)
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Super strength, fast healing, able to regrow severed body parts (except the head)
Effects of sunlight: Deacon go bbq (but he can go out for a while in a ridiculous amount of sun block)
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, EDTA injections, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Blade injected him multiple times with the EDTA and he ballooned out and exploded. Yum.

Dracula, various films (read various as “a crap ton of”)

“You cannot imagine what I’ve had to endure. I have borne the very wrath of God, chosen to suffer like no man before.”

Played by: A legion of actors, including Gary Oldman, Bela Lugosi, Gerard Butler, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Christopher Lee, Rudolf Martin, Frank Langella, and Richard Roxburgh
Real name: Various, including Vlad Tepes, Count Dracula, and Judas Iscariot
Born in: Various
Age when introduced: Various
Scary or sexy: He’s been both more times than is countable, sometimes in the same film even.
Good or evil: Usually evil, but he’s been good (or at least not completely evil) a few times.
Powers: Various, depending on the film, including mind control, telepathy, the ability to transform into animals (most commonly wolves and/or bats), power over the weather and flight.
Effects of sunlight: Ranging from nothing to being burned to a crisp, depending on the movie.
Ways he can die: Stake through the heart, decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Almost never, and yet, since he keeps coming back, almost always.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Various, but often by staking and decapitation or sunlight. Killed often by Van Helsing.

Eric Northman, True Blood

“Your blood tastes like freedom, Sookie. Like sunshine in a pretty blond bottle. You may not know it yet, but that’s what vampires smell when they smell you.”

Played by: Alexander Skarsgård
Real name: Eric the Norseman
Born in: It’s never said exactly where he’s from, but he was a Viking and speaks Swedish, so I’m going to assume he comes from there.
Age when introduced: The exact number is never said, but he’s over 1000 years old.
Scary or sexy: Sexy. Very, very sexy (even though I’m pissed that they cut his hair. He’s a Viking for fucks sake, and hadn’t cut his hair in over 1000 years. Why would he start now??)
Good or evil: Ambiguous. He’s obviously killed a lot of people in his time, and yet it’s impossible to think of him as a villain.
Powers: Mind control (glamouring), super speed, super strength, fast healing (almost instantaneous if he drinks blood)
Effects of sunlight: Eric go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight
Alive at the end?: As of the last episode I saw (last of season 5), yes.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Henry Fitzroy, Blood Ties

“When you turn, you don’t see people anymore. You see prey. I spent a long time learning to control my impulses. But I’m not human, Vicki. And every once in a while, somebody’s gotta die.”

Played by: Kyle Schmid
Real name: Henry FitzRoy, Duke of Richmond and Somerset
Born in: England
Age when introduced: 487
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good. He doesn’t need to kill to feed, so he (usually) doesn’t.
Powers: Mind control (glamour), super speed, super strength, fast healing
Effects of sunlight: Henry go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, severe blood loss
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Jasper Hale, The Twilight Saga

“I vote yes. It would be nice not to want to kill you all the time.”

Played by: Jackson Rathbone
Real name: Jasper Whitlock
Born in: Texas
Age when introduced: 145
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good. He started out bad, but once he was “rescued” by Alice, he became good. Jasper is easily the most interesting character in Twilight, his story would have made for much better films. Too bad he became such a tiny part of the movies.
Powers: super speed, super strength, mood control (which has to be the coolest power ever when you really think about it. No matter who you’re up against, no matter what their power is, all he has to do is change their mood and make them happy, or sorry, or forgetful, or anything, really. Too bad they didn’t exploit it).
Effects of sunlight: No adverse effects, but their skin shines like diamonds in the direct sunlight.
Ways he can die: Decapitation, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Jerry Dandridge, Fright Night (1985 & 2011)

“You don’t have to be afraid of me. I know what it’s like being different. Only they won’t pick on you anymore… or beat you up. I’ll see to that. All you have to do is take my hand.”

Played by: Chris Sarandon (1985), Colin Farrell (2011)
Real name: Jerry Dandridge
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Both. In man form he’s gorgeous, but his vampire face is hideous.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Hypnotic eyes, mind control, ability to turn to a huge bat or wolf, flight, super strength
Effects of sunlight: Jerry go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: After a tense battle between him, Charley and Peter Vincent, Charley is finally able to corner him and the pair break the blacked out windows until Jerry fries in the sun.

Lestat de Lioncourt, Interview with the Vampire / Queen of the Damned

“Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately. And so shall we.”

Played by: Tom Cruise (Interview with the Vampire), Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned)
Real name: Lestat de Lioncourt
Born in: France
Age when introduced: 203
Scary or sexy: Sexy (well, Stuart Townsend’s Lestat was sexy, Tom Cruise’s was… well… Tom Cruise. He did an awesome job with the role, but I personally don’t find him sexy).
Good or evil: Ambiguous. He kills to feed, but he often kills evil-doers (“Evildoers are easier, and they taste better“)
Powers: Flight, telepathy, super strength, super speed
Effects of sunlight: Sunlight would kill him until he drank Akasha’s blood in Queen of the Damned, and her ancient blood allowed him to go out in the sun.
Ways he can die: Decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Nicolas Knight, Forever Knight

“I learned that I have to live with the choice I made 800 years ago, and that forgiveness is not something you ask for, it’s something that you earn. Here, among the living.”

Played by: Geraint Wyn Davies
Real name: Nicolas de Brabant
Born in: France
Age when introduced: 802
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Trying really hard to be good, but…
Powers: Infra-red vision, enhanced hearing, super strength, super speed, flight, fast healing, immunity to cold
Effects of sunlight: Nicolas go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, fire, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Staked in the heart by LaCroix

Radu Vladislas, Subspecies series

“Your blood grows bitter. Soon, you’ll be mine completely.”

Played by: Anders Hove
Real name: Radu Vladislas
Born in: Romania
Age when introduced: Unknown, but he’s described as being “centuries old”.
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Hypnotism, his blood can create mini-demons (the Subspecies)
Effects of sunlight: Radu go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, fire, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No. He actually “dies” at the end of each film, but is always found to be (barely) alive at the beginning of the next chapter. The fourth and final film sees him dead too, but since there are no more, I guess we’re meant to believe that he’s really gone this time.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: He’s decapitated by Michelle and Ana, and his head is left out in the sun to burn.

Selene, Underworld series

“Lycans are allergic to silver. We have to get the bullets out quickly, or they end up dying on us during questioning.”
“What happens to them afterward?”
“We put the bullets back in.”

Played by: Kate Beckinsale
Real name: Selene (unknown last name)
Born in: Hungary
Age when introduced: 620
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Ambiguous. It’s never really said where the vampires get their blood from, if they feed from humans or not. She also blindly follows her masters orders, which means she’s killed many Lycans that may have been innocent of wrong doing.
Powers: Super speed, strength, stamina and agility, weapon mastery, able to jump crazy distances and fall from great heights without being hurt
Effects of sunlight: Selene go bbq (until the last film, apparently, but I haven’t seen that one yet)
Ways she can die: Sunlight, decapitation
Alive at the end?: After the first two films (the only ones I’ve seen), yes.
If not, how did she bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Severen, Near Dark

“Howdy. I’m gonna separate your head from your shoulders. Hope you don’t mind none.”

Played by: Bill Paxton
Real name: Severen (last name unknown)
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: None
Effects of sunlight: Severen go bbq
Ways he can die: Sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Caleb runs him over with his truck, then when that fails and Severen has crawled up onto the truck’s hood, Caleb jackknifes the truck and jumps out to safety just as the truck, and Severen, gets blown up.

Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

“Yeah, I did a couple o’ Slayers in my time. I don’t like to brag. [laughs] Who am I kidding? I love to brag!”

Played by: James Marsters
Real name: William
Born in: London
Age when introduced: 145
Scary or sexy: Both. His human face is super hot, but his vampire face is demonic.
Good or evil: Both. He starts out evil, but through loving Buffy and eventually getting his soul back, he becomes a good man.
Powers: Super strength, fast healing, awesome fighting skills
Effects of sunlight: Spike go poof
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes (though he died at the end of Buffy, he was resurrected in season 5 of Angel through the amulet he wore when he died).
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Honourable mentions:
Zachary Simms (Love Bites)
Barnabus Collins (Dark Shadows)
Jeremy Cappello (My Best Friend is a Vampire)
Goodie (Vamps)
Jessica (True Blood)
Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Luther (Supernatural)

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Who are your favourite fanged friends? Let me know! 🙂

Apr 17 2014

Top 10 Cartoons for Adults

I love cartoons. I always have. I’m like a big kid sometimes. My son and I love to snuggle together to watch cartoons. He likes a lot of the same kinds of shows that I do. But then there are those cartoons that just aren’t made for kids, despite the fact that they’re animated. Some of them are so bloody, so violent, and sometimes they even have nudity and foul language. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but that doesn’t mean that I want my kid to watch a demon crawling it’s way out of hell to eat a naked girl. Not at 4 years old, hehe. Those kinds of cartoons are definitely made for adults. Some cartoons have jokes aimed at adults (like Shrek), but on the whole, the movie is still very kid friendly, and generally aimed at them. The cartoons in this list, however, were never intended for children at all. You’ll notice that there’s only one anime on this list, despite the fact that I could fill 10 lists, or more, with animes, since they’re often very violent. But I’ve never really been a fan of anime, I’ve only seen a handful of them, and even if the story is interesting, I just can’t seem to stay interested long enough to finish it. But anyways, I’m veering away from the topic at hand here. Let’s get this list going.

10 – Heavy Metal
(1981) Richard Romanus, Jackie Burroughs, John Candy, Don Francks, Eugene Levy, Susan Roman, Harold Ramis, Rodger Bumpass and Marilyn Lightstone

This film came out the year I was born, so obviously I didn’t see it right when It came out. I saw it sometime in my teens, I think, and only once, so I don’t remember much of it. But I do remember enjoying it, even if I don’t remember the details, and really, I can’t have a list of cartoons for adults without this one. It’s the one most people think of first when they hear “cartoons for adults”, so even if I’d never seen it, I’d still have to put it in, hehe.

9 – Rocko’s Modern Life
(1993-1996) Carlos Alazraqui, Tom Kenny, Charles Adler, Mr Lawrence and Linda Wallem

Rocko’s Modern Life is a crazy cartoon that was on YTV when I was a kid. The show wasn’t technically aimed at adults, but it’s so weird and a lot of the jokes are adult themed, so, even though I watched it as a kid, I may not want my own kid to watch it until he’s well into his teens. Re-watching it as an adult, I understood the “nudge nudge wink wink” of the Chokey Chicken, which, at 12 or 13 years old, flew right over my head. It’s kind of in the same vein as cartoons such as Ren & Stimpy and Beavis and Butthead, except that this one is actually funny and entertaining, and not just stupid and gross.

8 – Hellsing
(2001) Crispin Freeman, KT Gray, Victoria Harwood, Steven Brand, Ralph Lister, Michael Parker and JB Blanc

As one of the very few animes I’ve even seen, never mind liked, it’s unsurprising that it’s about vampires. In fact, all the animes I like best are about vampires, or at least demons. I saw this when it first came out, so I don’t actually remember a whole lot of what was going on, but I do remember that it was bloody, violent and awesome. And that’s all I need to know :-p

7 – The Nightmare Before Christmas
(1993) Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, Ed Ivory, Susan McBride and Danny Elfman

When I first saw this film as a kid, I’ve got to admit that I was less than impressed. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t quite like it either. But when I saw it again years later, I realized that, as an adult now, I was enjoying it much more then when I’d seen it when I was 12. So either my tastes changed over the years, or it really was an animated film aimed at a slightly older audience, hehe. It’s still not one of my absolute favourites, but quite enjoyable all the same.

6 – Invader Zim
(2001 – 2006) Richard Steven Horvitz, Andy Berman, Rosearik Rikki Simons, Melissa Fahn, Rodger Bumpass, Lucille Bliss, Mo Collins and Jhonen Vasquez

From the incredibly twisted mind of Jhonen Vasquez (who also brought us such gems as Squee and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac), this insanely funny cartoon can only be described as exactly that: crazy. I saw it for the first time at a friend’s house party. We were all pretty wasted by the time the host decided to put this cartoon on, and I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life. And re-watching it again when I was sober proved that it really is good, and not just something to laugh at while drunk. Gir has to be one of the cutest and most hilarious little cartoons to ever hit the screen. He’s not stupid, he’s advanced!

5 – Cool World
(1992) Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt, Gabriel Byrne, Michele Abrams, Deirdre O’Connell, Charlie Adler, Carrie Hamilton and Maurice LaMarche

Until a few years ago, I was sure that this film was one of those classics that everyone loved, in the same vein as Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and other zany films. But over time of seeing it talked about online, I’ve come realize that there are a heck of a lot more people who hate this film than those that like it. And I don’t really understand why. I think it’s awesome! No, it’s not a “perfect” film, but I had lots of fun watching it, and that’s the whole point, right?

4 – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
(1988) Bob Hoskins, Charles Fleischer, Christopher Lloyd, Kathleen Turner, Joanna Cassidy, Stubby Kaye, Alan Tilvern, Lou Hirsch, Mae Questel and Mel Blanc

And speak of the devil… This film wasn’t necessarily made for adults, and I’m sure many kids have seen it. But I remember being traumatized as a kid by Judge Doom’s final scene, and a few others, so I’m not entirely sure I’d allow my kid to see it till he’s a little older then I was at the time of my first viewing, which was probably about 8 or 9 years old. One thing I’ve always wondered about this film (always being after the internet was available in homes, lol) is why Kathleen Turner’s performance as Jessica Rabbit is uncredited. It’s not like it’s a cameo or bit part, she’s one of the main characters. I find that so weird.

3 – Twice Upon a Time
(1983) Lorenzo Music, Marshall Efron, Julie Payne, James Cranna, Hamilton Camp, Judith Kahan and Paul Frees

Strange little film that just showed up in my house one day, and I have no idea where it came from. We were 12 people living at home at the time, so it really could have come from anywhere. I was almost the only one in the bunch who enjoyed it, though. It’s admittedly very strange, but so awesome at the same time. The drawings are “badly done” (I’m sure the animators of the film would call the style “creative” or “modern” or “avant garde” or some such nonsense, hehe), and there are a few instances of the action taking place in our world, when our heroes need something from our world to stop the bad guy from making the entire world one giant nightmare. If you haven’t seen it, and like things that are slightly strange, then I definitely reccomend this film. Plus, the lead character is voiced by Garfield (Lorenzo Music). Can’t get much cooler than that!

2 – Wizards
(1977) Bob Holt, Mark Hamill, Richard Romanus, Jesse Wells, Steve Gravers, David Proval, James R Connell and Susan Tyrell

Wow, I had no idea this film was so old. I saw it in my early teens, which was in the mid-90’s, so when my mom bought it, I guess I assumed it was more recent then that. It’s a really great (if sometimes brutal) little film that spreads the truth about war, and about how those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. In a post-apocalyptic world filled with mutants (some of which have gained magic), logic would dictate that they would no longer wage chemical and nuclear warfare, and yet…

1 – Rock & Rule
(1983) Don Francks, Susan Roman, Paul LeMat, Catherine O’Hara, Catherine Gallant, Chris Wiggins, Martin Lavut, Samantha Langevin, Dan Hennessey, Greg Duffell and Iggy Pop

And finally, my favourite cartoon for adults is the greatly under-rated Rock & Rule. Another post-apocalyptic film, this one sees humans extinct, but the animals have mutated into human-like beings. So think Goofy and Mickey Mouse, just… sexy :-p . It’s a musical extravaganza that has an aging rock star kidnap a beautiful young singer when he finds out that her voice is the key to opening a portal and releasing malevolent demons. The music is great, too, performed by some of rock’s greatest bands: Blondie’s Deborah Harry, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, Earth Wind and Fire, and Cheap Trick. If you haven’t seen it yet, I reccomend it very much!

And so, that’s my list. Liked it? Agree? Disagree? Did I forget something? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

Mar 21 2014

Words to Live By (aka, How to Survive a Horror Movie)

Sometimes while watching a horror movie, you just have to roll your eyes at some of the choices that the characters make, or even yell at them and throw popcorn at the screen. So many horror movie deaths could have been avoided if the characters had just followed these simple rules.

1- If you come across a restless spirit, you need to put it to rest. Throw salt over its bones and then burn them to make sure it can’t come back.

2- If you’ve watched a cursed videotape, just make a copy and pass it on to someone else.

3- If someone offers you “wine” in a bejeweled bottle, don’t drink it.

4- A scary, abandoned building that’s supposedly haunted with murderous spirits is not a good place for a party or romantic interlude.

5- The clown in the sewer is NOT your friend.

6- Don’t. Read. The fucking. Latin.

7- Making a deal with the devil or a demon will always bite you in the ass. Always. Just say no.

8- If you find two feral children in the woods, just leave them there.

9- If your house is constantly trying to kill you, get the fuck out!

10- Don’t buy dolls. Of any kind. Just don’t do it.

11- Stop after the fourth “Candyman” (or second “Bloody Mary”). Don’t mess with that shit.

12- A Ouija board is not a cute, harmless toy to give your kids.

13- Stay out of the basement.

14- Don’t play with hypnotism. You never know who, or what, will hitch a ride back.

15- Playing God is a bad idea.

16- Testing dangerous, new, untried experiments on yourself is a really bad idea.

17- And, finally, whatever you do, don’t.. fall.. asleep.

Follow these rules, and you should live to see another day!! 😀

Mar 7 2014

Monstrous Couples

So, I know I’m late. I was planning on doing this post on Valentine’s day, but then I didn’t and I kept putting it off, lazing about, but I’ve decided I’m in the mood to do it now, so better late than never, I suppose, hehe.

I can’t honestly say Valentine’s day is a huge thing for me. My husband will usually bring me flowers or chocolate, or maybe we’ll go out for dinner (or order in if I’m not well enough to go out), but that’s as far as it goes, and we don’t end up doing anything I’m not overly bothered about it. That’s not to say I don’t like romance. I do. But, generally speaking, what I may find romantic isn’t necessarily what any one else would. So I’ve decided to compile a list of, shall we say, unconventional romances, both from film and tv, and maybe even books. I’ll see how this post shapes out. I’ve only got a basic idea of what I’m doing here. The actual content I’m making up on the fly. I’m going to focus on non-humans. So, no matter how dysfunctionally romantic you are, if you’re all the way human, you won’t make the list. I may include some couples with one human in it. I haven’t decided yet. But I’ll try to not make the entire list vampires, ok? hehe. Let’s get this show on the road, and see who pops up. Obviously, they’re in no particular order. And, also obviously, there will be spoilers.

Spike and Drusilla, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Do you love my insides, the parts you can’t see?”
“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.”

Spike (aka William the Bloody) and Drusilla were introduced in Buffy‘s season 2 as an already established couple. They blew into town looking to raise a little hell (and find a cure for the ailing Dru). They may have been soulless, murderous monsters, but they loved each other more than life itself, and had been together for over 100 years when they arrived in Sunnydale. Unfortunately, things started to go south for the pair once Dru got her strength back, and Spike was temporarily incapacitated. With Angelus back on their side, Dru got taken in by his schemes, and once all the dust settled, we find out that she left him for good. Spike and his broken heart came limping back to Sunnydale, looking for pay back. He found a whole lot more than that, but that’s another story.

Mike and Celia, Monsters Inc

“Me and you, you and me, both of us, together!!”

Just because you’re a monster, that doesn’t mean you have to be evil. There’s no better proof of this than with Mike and Celia, two of the cast of lovable monsters from the Pixar hit Monsters Inc. While getting ready for work, Mike reveals to his best friend, Sully, that “she’s the one!”, proving that even monsters can find love, no matter how green they are :-p After a horrifying evening at their favourite sushi place, Celia is ready to break things off with Mike for good, but once she realizes what’s going on, she forgives him everything immediately, and does everything she can to help. You get em, Googly Bear!

Chucky and Tiffany, Bride of Chucky / Seed of Chucky

“Have you got a rubber?”
“Have I got a rubber? Tiff, look at me. I’m ALL rubber.”

I’m not a fan of the Chucky films, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t include these two in this list. While they both started out completely human, some weird mojo worked after death turned them both into creepy, living dolls. Who go on to have creepy doll sex, and Tiffany to give creepy doll birth to a creepy doll kid. The first Chucky film is the only one with any genuine (although very few) scares, once Tiffany came around (in film four, I think it was), any dignity the franchise had was long gone, and the gag was played for every cheap thrill it could. Still, they love each other (only lord knows why), and that’s why they’re here.

R and Julie, Warm Bodies

“There’s a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend’s brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but…”

So I’m kinda stretching a little here, since R and Julie aren’t a couple (yet), but this definitely deserves a spot on this list anyways. R is a zombie, but after he eats the brain of her boyfriend, he gets his memories of Julie, including the romantic feelings. The moment he sees her, his dead heart starts to slowly beat, and the world will forever change (again) because of it. How many others can say their love helped heal the world?

Caleb and Mae, Near Dark

“What’ll we do now?”
“Anything we want… to the end of time.”

When Mae first meets Caleb, all she’s interested in is getting a bite. But the two have an immediate connection, and she decides to turn him into a vampire, instead of just killing him. She takes him home to meet her “family”, where he’s given an ultimatum: make a kill within the week, or you’ll be the one on the menu. At first he decides to try their life style, but after realizing that he can’t kill, he and Mae run off together, with her family in hot pursuit. Come what may, Caleb and Mae will face it together, even if it means dying together.

Navarre and Isabeau, Ladyhawke

“Do you know that hawks and wolves mate for life? The Bishop didn’t even leave us that… not even that.”

Stupidly romantic, Ladyhawke is one of the most under-rated fantasy films of all time. Navarre and Isabeau are deeply in love. But the Bishop of Aquila, evil and corrupt, lusts after her as well. When his advances are spurned, he turns to the dark arts, swearing that if he can’t have her, neither will Navarre. He curses them, her to be a hawk during the day and herself at night, he to be a wolf at night and himself during the day. Always together, forever apart. The curse can only be broken if the two of them stand before the Bishop, both in human form.

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun, The Mummy / The Mummy Returns

“Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh’s high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh’s mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.”

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun are the ultimate example of “star-crossed lovers”. Being the Pharaoh’s priest, he was already forbidden to love, but to love the Pharaoh’s mistress on top of it all, you just know things will not end well for these two. To escape the Pharaoh’s clutches, the two conspire to kill him and run. Unfortunately, they got caught before they could flee. Anck-Su-Namun, confident that Imhotep will be able to resurrect her using the book of the dead, commits suicide instead of being caught by the guards. Imhotep was not so lucky, and was mummified alive, cursed for all eternity. When he’s finally able to get free of his box, his only thought is to get to the City of the Dead, Hamunaptra, where he will be able to resurrect his lover.

Dracula and Mina, Dracula (pick one, any one :-p )

“You are my love, and my life, always.”
“Then, I give you life eternal. Everlasting love. The power of the storm. And the beasts of the earth. Walk with me to be my loving wife, forever.”

So, of course this pair had to be on this list. It’s only the most romantic horror story of all time. I’ve chosen a picture and quote from the 1992 version, but really, any one will do. While some of the other details in the story change in each film, the core, Dracula and Mina’s love, is always the same. The small details may vary film to film, but Mina is generally the reincarnation of Dracula’s human love, from centuries ago, when he was still a human himself. When he travels to England to find her, she finds herself falling for him as well, despite the fact that she’s engaged to be married. Love transcends all, even time.

Eric and Shelly, The Crow

“Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.”

Eric and Shelly were happy and in love, to be married on Halloween night. But, horrendously, the day before their wedding, their apartment is broken into by some dangerous and evil criminals, who rape Shelly and beat her to within an inch of her life, and, when Eric comes home to find the scene, they throw him out the window. He dies instantly on impact, but Shelly lingers in pain for 30 hours before finally succumbing. Exactly one year later, Eric Draven crawls out of his grave to deal vengeance out to those that killed him and Shelly. Once his task is complete, he collapses on Shelly’s grave, where she appears to take him home. As if the story wasn’t sad enough, actor Brandon Lee tragically died while filming the movie, when a gun being used on set was accidentally filled with real bullets instead of blanks.

HellBoy and Liz, HellBoy

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

I suppose a more perfect match couldn’t be made. She’s pyrokinetic, and still has some troubles controlling it. Which means having a lover who won’t get burned when you accidentally lose your shit is a very good thing. He was brought over from Hell when he was just a baby, but thankfully he fell into the kind hands of young Broom, instead of the Nazis, and was raised to be good. Broom cares for a handful of “special” humanoids, and one of them is the fiery Liz, with whom HellBoy becomes instantly smitten. After fighting back Hell itself, they finally kiss, both literally engulfed in the flames of their passion.

Honourable mentions:
Vastra and Jenny, Doctor Who
Eric and Sookie, True Blood
Michael and Selene, Underworld
Shrek and Fiona, Shrek trilogy
Edward and Bella, Twilight series (I suppose I have to at least mention them)
Jake and Neytiri, Avatar
Sam and Molly, Ghost
Jack and Sally, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. Have a happy belated Valentines Day, all you romantic horror and fantasy fans out there!! ❤

Feb 13 2014

Teen Heartthrobs – Then and Now

After growing up in a house with 12 to 14 people living in it at any given time, I was happy to finally get my own room in my mid-teens. Not only was it my own room, but it was the biggest in the house, and in the basement, so I had lots of privacy. It helped that everyone thought the room was haunted and never wanted to come near it, but that’s a whole other story. A big room meant I had lots and lots of wall space, and boy did I ever put it to good use. Every available space was filled with posters of cute boys from the teen magazines I used to read: Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, Bop, 16 and others. I used my allowance to buy subscriptions to these magazines, and I had a handful of new posters to add to my collection each month. After a while I had to start using the ceiling, but that was so hard to manage that I eventually gave up on it and took older posters down to make space. The 90’s (which is when I was a teenager) were a good decade for cute boys, it certainly produced a great deal of them. A few of them are still working today, but a lot of them have sunk into oblivion (or darn near it), and a few of them are unfortunately no longer with us. You’ll probably notice a few notable names missing in this list, and that’s because I tried to minimize the names, not to make an entry that’ll take 3 hours to go through. There are some actors that started acting in their teens, but were never really considered a “teen idol”, for whatever reason. Elijah Wood, for example, started acting as a kid, and worked all through his teen years, but he never really did the “teen actor” thing, and mostly picked non-teen-movie roles, as did Leonardo DiCaprio, so neither of them is in the list. We all know what became of them, anyways, hehe. I also only put the ones that I personally found attractive. So there may be a few “obvious” heartthrobs that I seemingly forgot, like Edward Furlong or Rider Strong for example, but I didn’t forget. I just didn’t like them :-p

I’ve always been curious to find out what happened to my favourite actors from back then, so I decided to make a list with pictures showing what these actors look like now. Some, still being popular today, were easy to find recent pictures of. Some haven’t worked in years, so pictures were less easily available, but I Googled my little heart out and managed to find some pretty decent stuff. Most of these actors are from the 90’s, since that’s when I was a teen, those are the ones I know best. But I have included a few boys from the 80’s as well, from those films that I loved all through childhood and into my teens. A good few have aged remarkably well, while others… not so much. Let’s get this started! 😀

I first saw Andrew in Independence Day. He had a speaking role, but it contained all of one line. Such an impression did Andrew leave with his one line of dialogue that he was all over the teen magazines for months after, which I’m sure is what helped jump start his career. He was on the short-lived sitcom Thunder Alley after that, but his really big break came from the hit film 10 Things I Hate About You with Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger. While he used to be the bad boy with long hair, the tables turned in this film and he played a jocky douchebag (and he did it real well too). He worked pretty steadily until 2004, a few indie films (including the wonderful Broken Hearts Club) and as a regular on the tv show 7th Heaven, and that’s when the roles got fewer and far in-between. So what’s he up to today? He’s currently filming a horror flick called Living Among Us, with Esmé Bianco (and her wonderful breasts) and William Sadler. The film is due to be released October 1st of this year. Other than that, he’s only had a spattering of guest starring roles on a few tv shows, none of which are really interesting. Hopefully this new film will help his career get back on track. Horror is a great genre for comebacks!

Brad Renfro got his big break at age 10, starring along side Tommy Lee Jones and Susan Sarandon in The Client, based on the awesome book of the same name by John Grisham. After that wonderful performance, his star rose quickly, film offers coming in by the ton. He was in the fun Tom and Huck, with fellow heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas, but then once his hunk status was established, he quickly made sure to remind audiences that he had real talent, and made a string of wonderful, if sometimes hard to watch, films, including Sleepers and Apt Pupil, with Ian McKellan. He worked almost non-stop until 2002, when his addictions were starting to get the best of him and work was getting harder to keep because of it. So what’s he up to today? Unfortunately, after battling his addictions for the greater part of his young life, he succumbed to them fully and on January 15, 2008 he was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment, victim of an accidental heroine overdose. A shame that such talent was wasted on a junkie…

One of my few entries from the 80’s, I first saw Corey way back when I was a wee thing in what is, to this day, my favourite film of all time, The Lost Boys. I had a crush on him even before I knew what crushes even were! hehe I didn’t see any of his other teen flicks until I was in my late teens, so most (probably all) of my love for him came from The Lost Boys, which I watched so often that I could recite the entire film by heart. I also wore out the tape, and had to replace it. Twice. I was glad when they finally put it out on dvd, I could stop re-buying stuff. He worked steadily until 1993, and then that’s when his addictions pretty much put an end to his career. He got less and less interesting roles until, finally, he had to accept any work that came his way, no matter how crappy it was (and some of them were really, really bad), just to pay for his addiction of choice, painkillers. He tried a number of times to get clean and kick-start his career over again, but in the end he always succumbed to the drugs. So what’s he up to today? Sadly, Corey Haim is no longer with us. On March 10, 2010 his mother walked into his room of their small apartment and found him motionless on the floor. He was pronounced dead on his arrival at the hospital. Anyone who knew him couldn’t honestly say that they were surprised that he died young, but they were surprised to find out that he died not of an overdose, as most would expect, but of complications of pneumonia.

Devon got his big break, after a few smaller roles, as the humanized title ghost in Casper. It was just for one scene, but it got all the fan girls in a tizzy, and Devon’s ridiculously cute mug was a staple in the teen mags after that. He made a few films a year until 2000 (including awesome contributions to the horror genre, Idle Hands and Final Destination), after that he seems to have just vanished. Nothing on his IMDB profile for the next 10 years looks even vaguely familiar. So what’s he up to today? After 10 years of making a handful of films that no one saw, he landed himself a recurring role on the reboot of the spy show Nikita, with Maggie Q and Shane West, and he revisited the horror genre in the direct-to-dvd A Resurrection. Nothing else is on his plate as of now.

I first saw Jonathan in The Neverending Story 2 (which, after recently rewatching it, I realize is a horrible film. I must have really have had a crush on him to have watched it as many times as I had). The year after that Stephen King’s It was made into a 2 part tv mini-series, and Jonathan was cast as one of the young “Loser’s Club”, 7 best friends to face a (fucking terrifying) monster who masquerades as a clown. Despite my intense fear of clowns (or coulrophobia, if you wanna get fancy), It is still one of my favourite films, even though it’s a little cheezy and just screams “90’s TV!” After that he made a few more tv movies and guest starred in a few shows before being cast as one of the leads of the futuristic show SeaQuest DSV. After the show ended however, roles started getting scarce, good roles even scarcer. So what’s he up to today? Unfortunately Jonathan suffered from depression, not helped along by a bit of a drinking problem, and finally, on November 12, 2003, after months of depressing about his waning career, he committed suicide by hanging himself in his Los Angeles apartment. He was found, alive but just barely, by a friend who immediately called the ambulance. It was too late, however, the injury too severe, and he died 15 hours later.

Jonathan was never in anything that I would have watched on my own, but after seeing him in my teen mags, I did something that I’d vowed never to do: I started watching a soap opera. Jonathan played Lucky Spencer on General Hospital for 6 years. And once I started watching, it was like crack. I knew it was bad, and yet I was hooked. I watched every day (the VCR programmed to tape it every day while I was in school) for the next two years. After his stint on General Hospital, he did a few movies, and then sort of faded away, projects coming through at a very slow rate. So what’s he up to today? After a guest spot on the short-lived Sarah Connor Chronicles, he’s got 4 years of nothing. Then, in 2012, he got a role as a regular on the country music drama Nashville, which is in it’s second season. As of now, that’s all he’s got going on, but hopefully this new show will reignite his star. He’s quite good, and still gorgeous. I’m glad to see he hasn’t cut off his beautiful hair, which so many men do when they age…

I first saw Jonny in what still remains one of my favourite teen films of all time, Hackers. He’d already been a pretty big star when he did the film, but only in the UK. Hackers saw his star rise in America, and since that first film he’s been working almost non-stop, both here and in the UK. So what’s he up to today? He’s currently starring in Elementary with Lucy Liu. The show’s in it’s second season. Personally, I don’t like it, I much prefer Sherlock. The little twist of making both Watson and Moriarty women was cute, but then because of that, everything became about feelings. The Sherlock Holmes stories don’t need all that, they’re perfect the way they are. Adding all this crap is just… well… crap :-p But I’m getting off topic here. Jonny’s one of the few actors who successfully juggle both film and television (a lot of actors from TV seem to have bad luck in getting good film roles). In 2010 he was the baddie of Dexter‘s fifth season. He’s a big fan of genre films, as well, so his handsome mug is all over horror. It’s always nice when good actors like to do horror and thrillers.

Joseph’s rather incredible career started when he was a mere 7 years old. After a few guest spots on other TV shows, he landed a spot on the short-lived but awesome Dark Shadows. It only lasted one season, which is a real shame because I loved it. It always seems to happen that way with awesome shows. The next few years saw a bunch of guest spots on shows and a few kid’s films. Then, in 1996, he became a household name almost overnight when he signed on to the hit show 3rd Rock from the Sun, with John Lithgow. So what’s he up to today? After 3rd Rock ended in 2001, he took it easy for 3 years or so, doing just one project a year till 2005. Then, all of a sudden it seemed, he was everywhere, making 4 to 5 pictures a year. Most recently he’s got Sin City: A Dame to Kill For in production, and his directorial debut, Don Jon, was in cinemas not too long ago. He also joined the Batman franchise in The Dark Knight Rises, as Robin. As for his looks, he just seems to get better looking with each passing year, although I admit I really miss that long hair…

Josh literally exploded onto the scene in 1998, going from complete unknown to household name overnight. He did films of all genres, doing some horror and teen films, like The Faculty and The Virgin Suicides, earlier in his career, then moving on to action and chick flicks later. He was incredibly popular until about 2007, when his star began to wan. So what’s he up to today? After having practically nothing on his resume for the last couple of years, he’s now got a show, Penny Dreadful, in production, and has one film, Parts Per Billion, due out this year.

Ask almost any woman my age and she’ll tell you, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (or JTT, as the teen mags called him) was one of the hottest teen idols of the 90’s. After a few roles in kid’s shows in the late 80’s, Jonathan struck gold when he landed the role of middle son Randy on Tim Allen’s hit show Home Improvement. He was on the show for 7 years, making teen girls everywhere swoon. He made a bunch of films during that time too, most notably he was the voice of young Simba in The Lion King. So what’s he up to today? Ego got the best of him, and he left Home Improvement (by lying to Tim Allen about wanting to go to school) to focus on a movie career. Unfortunately, despite what it may seem like on tv and in films, Hollywood doesn’t like flakey actors, and lying to leave a good, money-making career was not a wise move on his part. He got a few roles after that, but they were all duds, and in 2000, the roles stopped coming all together. From 2003 to 2006 he got a (very small) handful of guest spots on tv shows (mostly cartoons and cameos), and then nothing at all until 2013, where he got a guest spot on a few episodes of some show called Last Man Standing. Checking IMDB to see what it is, it’s Tim Allen’s new sitcom. I guess they’ve finally put any bad blood behind them.

I first saw Matthew (and fell in love with him) in Hackers, with Jonny Lee Miller (lots of beauty in this film, hehe). He worked a lot after that, mostly in teen films or horror films (or teen horror! lol). Sadly he never got the role he deserved, as a leading man. He’s never been (in the stuff I’ve seen anyways) “the one”. He’s never the main romantic interest, never the main hero, if he saves the day it was always beside or behind the “real” hero. Hell, he even got regulated to “sidekick villain” in Scream. They couldn’t even let him be his own bad guy, he was just following his friend Billy. So what’s he up to today? After Scooby-Doo 2, his star seems to wan a little. There’s a lot of entries in his IMDB page, but if you look closely it’s a lot of voice acting work (mostly for Scooby-Doo cartoons), guest spots on tv shows, even voices in video games (mostly Scooby-Doo games). He’s milking that role as Shaggy for all it’s worth! Hey, I guess it pays the bills. But he seems to be trying to pull away from that in the last few years. He’s only got one upcoming Scooby-Doo thing, and he’s currently in a show called The Bridge, with Diane Kruger and Ted Levine, about a serial killer operating on the Mexico/US border. I hadn’t heard of it till now. I like serial killer stuff, I may just check it out. Matthew also has two more films due out this year, a true-story sports film called One Heart, and Match, which seems to be some sort of dramatic comedy, co-starring Patrick Stewart and Carla Gugino.

Dec 22 2013

The Most Beautiful Men

It’s no secret: I like beautiful men. I have a pretty specific genre that I like, and if there’s anyone who I find beautiful that’s not in my usual criteria, you can imagine that he’s as damn near perfect as a person can get, hehe. There isn’t really much else to say, this post is pure visual candy. I’m oogling them, and unashamed. Care to join me? Here they are, in alphabetical order (since that’s how they’re ordered in my pictures file :-p ), the men in the entertainment industry that I find the best looking. (For those who prefer women, worry not! I shall do another post like this about the ladies!)

I’ve known who Alexander is for a good while now, but I hadn’t seen anything that he’d done until True Blood. And really, they couldn’t have picked a better actor to portray the thousand year old Viking. He definitely looked his best in season 1, when they actually had him looking like a Viking. He hadn’t cut his hair for a thousand years, why on earth would he start now?? That’s just one of the (many) things that annoy me about the show. But I digress…

Andy Biersack is the lead singer for the rock group Black Veil Brides. I don’t like all their music, but it’s mostly pretty good, and the band is talented. Andy’s vocals are quite amazing, surprisingly deep for someone that looks so… girly :-p If I were putting this list in order, Andy would be very near the top, maybe even number one. Let’s just pretend, for skeezyness’ sake, that he’s not only 21 years old, ok…?

Dorian Gray. That’s really all I need to say here. A quite liberal take on the book, I nevertheless enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I’m sure seeing almost all of Ben’s skin had nothing to do with that… He’s got such a baby face that I was surprised (and rather relieved) that he’s the same age as me!

Before Star Trek 2, I’d never heard of Benedict. My friends have been singing the praises of Sherlock since it came out, but I’d never gotten around to watching it until recently. Before I saw him on the big screen, I’d only seen pictures, and was unimpressed. I thought he was just weird looking, like a strange elf. And then I saw him in action on-screen. And oh. My. God. I had to take back every single thing I said about him. I was so smitten that the very next day after seeing ST2, I hooked myself up to Netflix and watched Sherlock. Watching him in action as the famous sleuth literally takes my breath away. And that voice… mm.

Before Hemlock Grove, I didn’t even know Alexander had a brother (let alone the 3 other siblings he’s got besides Bill!), but after watching the show I have to ask myself, what the heck is in the water in Sweden?? I mean really.

Lead singer for the alternative band Placebo, I’ve been in love with Brian Molko (and Placebo) since I graduated high school. He’s got such a unique voice, makes such amazing, powerful, meaningful music that it’s literally impossible to not love him. He’s 40 now, but he still looks freaking fabulous!

Colin looks good in pretty much everything he’s been in. And if he happens to be in a role that allows him use of his real accent (Irish), the hotness doubles. But if I had to choose the one film he looked best in, I’d have to go with Fright Night, even though he doesn’t have the accent. Cause he plays a vampire, and that trumps everything :-p

I’m sure any girl my age would agree with me, David was the ultimate heartthrob of the 90’s. I was in high school when Buffy the Vampire Slayer first aired, and, like every other teenaged girl with eyes, I was immediately smitten with the vampiric Angel. He plays in Bones now, which is in it’s 9th season, and he hasn’t lost any of his appeal. His few forays onto the big screen went mostly unnoticed (for good reason), but that’s ok. He doesn’t need to be in films to be awesome. TV is a good place to be.

Ah, Doctor. My beautiful, lonely, messed-up Doctor. I’ve only recently discovered Doctor Who, but I’m so very glad I did. David could look good sitting in a burlap sack while reading a phone book. Thankfully though, his roles make him look much better than that. I’m going to say, in the looks department, it’ll be a tie between Doctor Who and Fright Night. If only for the shirtless, leather-pants-clad scene alone.

Cellist in the alternative band Apocalytica, Eicca is as talented as he is beautiful. I saw them live a few years back, and I have to say it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to a lot. Eicca’s weight fluctuates a lot, so sometimes he looks much rounder than usual. I guess that’s when he’s been off tour for a while. Cause the way they run around the stage with their huge instruments night after night, there’s no way he’d keep on any extra pounds! hehe

I’ve loved Elijah since I was a kid. We’re almost the exact same age (he’s 7 months older) so we kinda grew up together. He was a cute kid, then he went through this horrible gawky stage in his teens, but thankfully he grew out of it, and now he’s gorgeous. He’s got the goofiest smile, I think it’s perfectly charming. And those eyes, my goodness. You could fall right into those pools. He’s a wonderful actor, too, which makes him even better!

While he’s gotten too “manly” for me, the first film I saw him in floored me. His role as Dracula in Dracula 2000 was absolutely perfect. It’s still one of my favourite Dracula performances. Taken as what it’s meant to be, Dracula 2000 is awesome.

I’d never heard of Harry before Game of Thrones, although I did just recently see him in a two-part episode of Doctor Who. And while he was cute in the episode, if I were picking favourites, it would definitely be his role as the snivelling ass-hat Prince Viserys. The character has absolutely no redeeming qualities, but my-oh-my was he beautiful. That scene with the girl in the bathtub…. *phew*

I first saw Jackson in Twilight, and while his hair was weird, his face is absolutely stunning. I haven’t seen all his movies, but I think he probably looked his best in The Last Airbender. Mediocre movie at best, but boy, did he make it worthwhile! He really is a great actor, and you can actually see it when he picks good projects to be in (like that chilling episode of Criminal Minds…)

This man seemingly has it all; looks, acting talent, and a hell of a set of pipes. I don’t know where he thinks he gets off being so talented, I mean really, save some for the rest of us! I’ve seen his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, live twice. And last time I even waited around after the show so I could get his autograph. I’ve never done that before. He’s the first celebrity that I’ve ever touched (our fingers brushed while I took my CD back, ooh :-p ), and while I’m sure it didn’t do anything life-altering to me, it was cool to meet him nonetheless, hehe.

Dean Winchester. Really, do I have to say anything more than that?? You have no idea how happy it makes me that a man this beautiful loves to do horror. It’s just a shame that, despite his looks and talent, he can’t seem to find a good film role. That’s ok, as long as he keeps doing Supernatural, it’s all good.

Beautiful and talented, Johnny’s been one of my favourite actors since I first saw him, all those years ago, in Cry-Baby, which, by rights, should be a very bad movie, and yet somehow isn’t. Or, maybe it is, and I just don’t see it, hehe. Actually, technically it would be Nightmare on Elm Street that I first saw him in, but I was so young that I hardly remember at all, and I actually didn’t know it was Johnny in the role till I saw it again somewhere in my late teens. But my favourite film of his is probably still Sleepy Hollow. Man, I love that flick… Johnny owns a club called The Viper Room in LA (where River Phoenix tragically died), and I went there on my trip to LA a few years back. Sadly, he was not in attendance :-p

I first saw Jonathan in Velvet Goldmine, and have been in love ever since. It seems unfair that someone so attractive should also be so talented, but there you have it. He’s looked amazing in almost all of his roles, but I’d have to pick Titus as the top. The combo of the long hair and tattoos just rocked me. I’m looking forward to see his portrayal of Dracula. As usual, I’m waiting till the end of the season so I can watch at my leisure. So hurry up, dammit! hehe

Jon Snow. That is all. I haven’t seen Kit in anything but Game of Thrones, but with the talent and looks he’s got, I’m sure we’ll be seeing him pop up more in time.

While Lee Pace looks good no matter what he’s doing, He was jaw-droppingly gorgeous (for all of 2 seconds) in The Hobbit. I was so happy to see that he was in this movie, and after spending the whole movie waiting to see him again, I was quite upset it never happened. Thank goodness there’s two other Hobbit films to come! I certainly hope I’ll get to see the second before it leaves cinemas!

Matthew (of the ever-changing hair) is the lead singer for alternative rock band Muse, one of my very favourite bands. I *finally* got to see them live this year (last time they came round I found out on the day of. I was not amused), and it was fan-bloody-tastic. If I believed in angels, I’d say his voice was a gift straight from the angels. As it is, I’ll just say his voice is amazing. And he sounds just as good live as he does on the CD. You’d be surprised (or not) at how many singers don’t.

I’ve just recently started watching Criminal Minds, and boy am I glad I did (and not only because of Matthew). It’s such a great show, awesome stories, solid acting all the way around, just generally a great show. Not a very realistic view of FBI procedures I’m sure, but really now, what show is? I’m at season 7 now, at the beginning, I’ve only watched the first episode. Matthew’s character, Dr Spencer Reid, is one of the best characters in the show. He’s a gorgeous geek, and a complete genius. I’ve only seen him in one film (How to be a Serial Killer), but it was pretty good, if a little weird. I don’t actually know what else he’s been in. I should probably check it out… And, yes, I just realized I spelled his name wrong in my picture, but I’m too lazy to change it. So there.

Castiel. Nuff said. Oddly enough, when Castiel first showed himself in season 4 of Supernatural, I wasn’t all that impressed. He was good looking, yes, but nothing special. But through his interaction with Dean Winchester, and the force of his personality, he got more beautiful by the second. I’m so upset at the direction that Supernatural writers took the character, especially in season 7. He just doesn’t feel like the same person any more. I know character development is important in a show, but really, did he have to “develop” that far??

My favourite Nicholas Hoult film is definitely Warm Bodies, but I can’t really say that’s the film he looks the best in. The goth/emo look is fine. Dead? Not so much. But he was absolutely breathtaking in A Single Man. And not because he was naked a whole lot near the end. Ok, not just because… :-p But holy crap, what a downer that film was, especially the ending. I was so emotionally wrung out after that, I needed to watch a cartoon afterwards, hehe.

I first saw Orlando in Lord of the Rings and he literally took my breath away. Not the best of actors, but when you look like he does, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. To choose whether he looked better in Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean, though, that’s impossible. So I call a tie. Looking forward to seeing him in The Desolation of Smaug, even though, from what I saw in the trailers, his face seems to be very CGI’d. Did he age that badly in just over 10 years..?

I’ve loved Robert Downey Jr since I was a kid. He’s so talented, I just can’t believe he still doesn’t have an Oscar. He was nominated twice, but never won. What a shame. But like a fine wine, Robert seems to get better with age. He’s always been good looking, but he was positively gorgeous as Tony Stark. And he still makes my heart flutter in Only You, one of my all-time favourite chick flicks.

Strangely enough, when I first saw Thor, I can’t say that I really noticed Tom. I’m not sure why, maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. But then The Avengers came out, and my jaw literally hit the floor. That scene where Loki’s at the party, coming down the stairs, in that suit? The man couldn’t have looked more perfect than if he’d walked straight out of my dreams.

Honourable mentions for actors who have passed away

I feel a little gross including dead men in my list of beauties, so I’ll list a few off here, to remind you how good looking they were in life:

River Phoenix (The Thing Called Love, Stand By Me)
Heath Ledger (10 Things I Hate About You, The Dark Knight)
Brandon Lee (The Crow)
Brad Renfro (The Client, Apt Pupil)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Just One of the Girls)
Kurt Cobain (singer of alternative band Nirvana)
Glenn Quinn (Angel)

And that’s it. What did you think? Which male celebrities make you weak in the knees? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

Dec 9 2013

5 of the Most WTF Music Videos I’ve Ever Seen

So, I had started a longer post for today, but I really wasn’t into it. After every single line I’d just stop and stare blankly at the screen, and that’s never good. But I haven’t put a post up in a few days, and I’d set a goal for two posts a week, bare minimum. And with another week coming to a close with only one post up, I need to get my ass in gear. Writers always say that to be able to write freely and easier, you need to write often, even on days when nothing’s coming, so I figured I’d keep my long post for a day when I’m really into it (cause it’s a real good one, too) and just do a quickie post, to keep the goal I set for myself.

I enjoy music videos. Before switching to Bell’s Fibe cable, we had the channels Much More Retro and Much Loud (that Fibe doesn’t offer, makes me very upset. It’s seriously almost enough to send me back to Videotron, but anyways…) and I almost always had the TV on to one of those channels while I was doing other stuff. Videos are a good way to “get to know” the band you’re listening to, see what they look like, and what kind of message they’re trying to send with each song that has a video made for it. Some people think that music videos are “dated” and it’s ridiculous to keep making them, but I disagree. I find the visual enhances the auditory. But then, every so often, you come across a video that seems like whoever came up with the concept is not from this planet. Or, more likely, that they were on a very large quantity of drugs. For this little list, I’ve concentrated on music from more recent years. I could fill the whole Internet with a list of WTF music videos from the 80’s, for example, so I left them all out. My oldest song will be from 1995, when music videos, and the fashion and entertainment industry as a whole, actually, became a bit more “normal”. So, here we go, 5 of the most WTF music videos I’ve ever seen, in no particular order.

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

So, the set-up is this: the band is captured and caged by an evil man (played in great, sleazy glory by actor Lou Diamond Phillips) who runs a fighting pit where people bet on fights between… wait for it… stuffed animals. Oh yes. A beautiful girl makes her way to the gambling arena with her challenger in tow, a small, pink teddy bear. The champion, a big, ugly, fuzzy purple thing, is making minced-meat out of all the competition, so when the tiny bear is dropped into the ring, everyone laughs. After seemingly getting his ass kicked, the pink teddy, moments before being dropped into the loser’s pit by the evil man, decides he’s had enough. He charges his paw with pink light, and knocks big purple right out of the ring. It’s really got to be seen to truly appreciate the absurdity of it. The song, though, is amazing.

Kids by MGMT

If I were putting these in order, this one would definitely be number one. I have no idea what the creators of this video for this amazing song were on but, really, can I have some? How to even start explaining it… A toddler is seeing monsters everywhere while being brought around town by his mother, who seems more interested in her phone than her son. The poor lad cries as he looks all around to see the monsters. Escaping to a little park, our tiny hero runs into the band, who are dressed in skin tight silver clothing, I imagine they’re supposed to be woodland faeries? I dunno. Despite the ridiculous getup, the singer is still delicious. After our little man is returned to his mother, the “real world” goes away, and we’re treated to some of the most psychedelic animations I’ve ever seen. Really, whoever came up with this stuff was not thinking with earth logic. MGMT‘s videos are all pretty nuts, actually, but this one really takes the cake.

Panic Station by Muse

I love Muse, and their music videos are always pretty cool and different. Bliss has (gorgeous) lead singer Matthew Bellamy falling forever through a giant structure in space. Supremacy has a bunch of people in death metal makeup going surfing. Uprising has a giant teddy bear stomping through a town. But the weirdest video is definitely one of the newest ones, Panic Station, from their latest album The 2nd Law. It doesn’t really have a story to it like a lot of cool videos do, it’s just the band, and a bunch of other weird people, dressed outlandishly (Matthew wears a giant, fuzzy pink jacket with huge shades that flash words to the song) and they’re basically just walking around Tokyo being strange. Oh, and if you watch the video, stick around after the song ends for some funny bloopers.

Paranoid Android by Radiohead

I don’t even know how to start explaining this one. It’s animated (thank goodness, given some of the things we see later in the video). There’s two friends going around town, doing stuff. There’s a chick in a tree who’ll let you look at her naked body for cash, there’s a guy in a bar that’s got a face coming out of his belly. There’s a fat man in a leather and spike-studded g-string trying to chop down a street lamp with an axe. There’s an angel who helicopters the main character (I guess) around as the fat man swings himself into exhaustion and eventually cuts all his limbs off and falls off the bridge. There are mermaids with huge, naked breasts who wrap up the now limbless fat man into a small bundle and put him in the naked lady’s tree. And then our friends go home. If any of that made any sense to you… I want what you’re on :-p

Nancy Boy by Placebo

Placebo is another band that I love that has cool and different videos (and another gorgeous lead singer, hehe). I was hesitating between Bruise Pristine and this one for the list, and I finally decided to go with this one because, despite their similarities, Nancy Boy is just a little weirder. It’s got legs moving around with no torso, or a torso with no legs. There’s stuff impaled on spikes, heads merging together, a live boy who’s bottom half is a mannequin and loads of other weird imagery. Nancy Boy’s not one of my favorite Placebo songs, but it definitely hits a 10 on the strange-o-meter!

What do you think of my picks? Too strange? Not strange enough? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

Nov 27 2013

Top 15 Episodes of Supernatural

Supernatural is one of my favourite shows, but I came into it surprisingly late. Season 5 was well under-way before I decided to give the show a chance, and that was just because my husband had borrowed the first 4 seasons on dvd from his brother. I had heard of it before then, but, even despite it being exactly the kind of thing that I love, I’d never been interested enough to watch it. With the dvd’s laying around, and my husband telling me how good it was, I finally decided to watch. And from the first scene in the Pilot episode, I was hooked. I watched those first 4 seasons in a few short weeks, then lamented the injustice of having to wait for new episodes every week. It’s lost some of it’s steam over the years (it should have stopped at 6 seasons, while it was still amazing), but it’s still entertaining. I’ve fallen behind on my Supernatural, though. I have so much stuff that I want to watch that I’ve only made it a bit more than halfway through season 8. I’ve also been in a very “nature documentary” mood lately, but I digress. There were plenty of episodes to chose from, but I was finally able to whittle it down to 15. The episodes are in approximate order. I can’t really say for certain which episode is my all-time favourite, so I just quickly put them in an order that looked about right. So without further ado, here are the top 15 episodes of Supernatural.

15 – Changing Channels, season 5 episode 8

The Trickster traps Sam and Dean in a TV world where they have to act out their roles to make it out. They navigate through a bunch of different genres from doctor and cop dramas to sitcoms and genital herpes commercials. At the end they find out that Loki isn’t Loki at all, but the Archangel Gabriel, and he wants the brothers to accept their fate as vessels for his brothers. I loved Gabriel, and was very, very upset to see him go. I keep hoping the writers will find a way to bring him back. This is Supernatural, after all. Nothing really stays dead.

14 – Monster Movie, season 4 episode 5

A small town celebrating Oktoberfest is under assault from several different monsters; or so it would seem. Sam and Dean investigate a “vampire attack” that looks like a classic Dracula did the job. Knowing that vampires have a full row of fangs, and not just 2 as the victim showed, the brothers are perplexed. Things get even weirder as more deaths occur, each molded after a classic horror movie monster. They find the culprit is a shapeshifter, who’s loneliness drove him to try recreate his favorite films, complete with victims and a damsel in distress. Great, fun episode. Filmed in black and white, for that authentic old movie feel, hehe.

13 – The Curious Case of Dean Winchester, season 5 episode 7

Dean plays poker with a warlock where the chips aren’t worth money, they’re worth years of life. While trying to win Bobby back his life, Dean looses 50 years, and ends up almost 80 years old. While the much aged Dean and Bobby try find the warlock’s DNA for a spell, Sam puts it all on the line, playing the warlock for Dean’s years. I liked this episode not just for the fun of seeing Dean react to his current state (which is pretty awesome by itself), but that the “bad guy” isn’t really bad. He’s not exactly good, but he’s not evil. He doesn’t cheat at poker, but let’s just say 900 years of playing has made him damn near unbeatable. I liked that they portrayed him like that, not evil, just a guy.

12 – Hollywood Babylon, season 2 episode 18

Posing as PA’s, the brothers investigate a death and ghostly sighting on the set of a horror film. After the first sighting is proved to be a hoax publicity stunt, a real death occurs, and Sam hits the Net hoping to find any links to the set. I’m not sure why I like this one so much, but I do. I guess I like the idea of a haunted horror film.

11 – Dark Side of the Moon, season 5 episode 16

Sam and Dean are shot and killed. You’d think that would be the end of the series, but of course, this being Supernatural, it’s not. The brothers end up in Heaven, where they find Ash and Pamela. On the run from Zachariah, they try to find the angel Joshua, who is rumoured to be the only one who’s able to talk directly to God. Once they find him, they are deflated to find out that God won’t help, that he doesn’t really care. Any opportunity to see the boys happy is a good episode. I miss good old Sam and Dean stuff. They’ve had so much stuff happen to them and they keep creating wedges between the brothers, it’s a wonder that they speak to each other at all anymore.

10 – Heart, season 2 episode 17

Sparks fly when Sam is assigned guard duty to the lovely Madison, who the brothers believe is in danger of a werewolf attack. The ending of this episode is absolutely abysmal, I still can’t believe they did that to poor Sam. It has me in tears every time I watch it.

9 – Mystery Spot, season 3 episode 11

You wouldn’t think that Dean dying would make for perfect comedy material, but it does. This is both one of the funniest and one of the tensest episodes of the whole series. While investigating a so-called “Mystery Spot”, Dean is shot and killed. After he dies in Sam’s arms, Sam snaps awake, only to find himself waking to the day that just happened. He goes through the day again, increasingly confused, and makes a different call for investigating the mystery spot, one that won’t get Dean killed. Dean dies again, however, and as soon as he does, Sam is once again back in bed, waking up on tuesday morning. The montage of Dean’s deaths, despite the subject matter, is freaking hilarious. He gets killed by everything from a dog to a falling piano to a “funky” tasting sandwich. Turns out the Trickster is behind this, to show Sam that he’ll have to go it alone, after Dean’s deal ends.

8 – Bitten, season 8, episode 4

This is the only entry from the last two seasons (well three now, I guess, since season 9’s well underway). I’ve been less than impressed with the last seasons. There have a been a few good stand-alone episodes, but the seasons as a whole are pretty meh. But still, pretty meh Supernatural is still better than most of the drivel that’s on TV now. I’ve seen some of the stuff my mom tapes and ugh! It ranges from “meh” to “horrifying”. Anyways… I’m getting side-tracked again. So here they decided to tackle the “found-footage” genre that’s so popular right now (and this needs to stop. No really, we’ve had enough.) I’m not a huge fan of this, unless it’s done right. And this one was. We follow a cute geek, Brian, and his roommate / best friend, Michael. They meet a cute girl, Kate, and both fall for her, she picks Michael. Being film students, they’re making a film about life in a small town, and they’re bringing their cameras wherever they go, filming everything. Michael is bitten one night while walking through a park. He tells Brian and Kate, but no one else. Sam and Dean are seen in the film through the students’ eyes; two FBI agents investigating the recent deaths in the area, where the heart had been removed. Brian gets jealous of Michael’s newfound “powers”, and begs him to bite him too. They really hit the nail on the head with this one. Both the drama and the horror were very effectively done. They found some good little actors to play the students, which is good. Good acting is always important, but even more so in a found-footage film.

7 – Dead Man’s Blood, season 1 episode 20

Supernatural‘s take on vampires, of course it’s on this list! I don’t particularly like the rows of fangs they’re sporting, but the rest of the mythos is great. I’m not one of those who gets offended if the vamps don’t burn in the sunlight, so that part didn’t bother me. The only thing that bothered me is the same thing that bothers me in countless other vampire films and shows: the fact that (in this episode, anyways) being turned equals automatically being evil, there’s no choice. They changed it in future vamp-centric episodes (for which I was very glad), most notably in the season 6 episode Live Free or Twi-Hard (which was thisclose to being on this list, such an awesome episode), in which Dean is vampirized. But in this episode, a woman and her husband are kidnapped by a group of vamps. The husband is killed, the wife gets turned. She’s still tied down when Sam and Dean sneak through the lair to find the Colt, but as soon as she wakes, while Sam is untying her, she yells alerting the others that there’s an intruder about. So, what, now that she’s a vampire she doesn’t care that they just murdered her husband? I don’t care if you’ve granted me the gift of eternal life, if you killed my husband, I’m not going to be on your side! I prefer the type of vampire that remains who he/she was before being turned. I like the conflict of who you used to be versus what you have to do to live now. But, of course, there are many, many more films and shows with automatically evil vamps than without, so I do like it anyways. Also, the lead vamp is extra yummy. Oh yeah.

6 – Lazarus Rising, season 4 episode 1

Our introduction to Castiel. Wonderful, beautiful, angelic Castiel. Pulled out of Hell, Dean wakes up in a pine box under the ground. Panicking, he’s finally able to dig himself out. He finds himself perfectly healthy and unhurt, except for a hand-shaped mark on his upper arm. He goes to find Sam, who, after the original shock of seeing Dean alive and not a demon, is over-joyed to have his brother back. But Dean doesn’t seem to have come back alone, as he’s being ambushed by an unseen entity. They consult a psychic friend of Bobby’s and she holds a seance to find out who, or what, pulled Dean out of Hell. Imagine their surprise when they find out it wasn’t a demon, but an angel who rescued Dean. The first time we see Castiel, with the lights exploding, and the lightning flashes, and those giant wings… ah, leaves me weak in the knees every time.

5 – What Is and What Should Never Be, season 2 episode 20

While hunting a Djinn, Dean is transported to a world in which his mother didn’t die in that fire. His father is dead, but he died of a stroke, nothing supernatural. He’s not as close with Sam as he was, but Jessica is alive and they’re getting married. Dean has a beautiful girl of his own, who apparently loves him completely. Dean, at first, is over-joyed to live in a world with no demons. But his happiness is put on hold when, after doing some research, he finds that all the people he and Sam and their father saved are all dead now, since the Winchesters aren’t hunters here. He has to make a choice: find the Djinn to undo the “wish” so that all those people get saved, or stay in this world with his family intact.

4 – Sex and Violence, season 4 episode 14

“Strippers, Sammy! An actual case, with strippers!” So says Dean at the beginning of this episode, where the brothers are following the trail of a seductive Siren. She feeds on love and devotion, and she’s making men kill their wives to show their devotion. A young FBI agent assigned to the case joins Dean on his hunt, while Sam “consults” with a local doctor. Which one is the Siren? Soon enough, of course, both brothers are under her spell and she wants them to fight over her. To the death.

3 – Something Wicked, season 1 episode 18

Following their father’s directive, the brothers head to a town where children are falling into comas with no apparent cause. Dean recalls a similar case from his childhood, a Shtriga, where Sam was nearly a victim and it was able to get away. John sent Dean there because he knew Dean felt bad about letting it get away the first time, and would want to get it himself. After his little brother is hospitalized, the motel manager’s son lets Dean use him as bait for the creature.

2 – Asylum, season 1 episode 10

Supernatural-does-House-on-Haunted-Hill is how I’d describe this episode. And it does it well. A boy and his girlfriend are attacked after sneaking into the supposedly haunted asylum, but lucky for them, Sam and Dean are there, too. There are spirits everywhere, but they’re only trying to help to stop the doctor who also died here. Sam is lured into the basement by a phone call from not-really-Dean, and comes face to face with the doctor. Under the doctor’s rage spell, Sam shoots Dean full of rock salt then goes for the real gun…

1 – Provenance, season 1 episode 19

It’s no wonder that the top 3 episodes in the list are from season 1, it’s still the best one. Both Pilot and Bloody Mary (episodes 1 and 5) were almost in the list too, but I decided to give the other seasons a chance. After discovering that all the owners of a particular painting were killed, Sam and Dean investigate an art dealership. Sparks fly when Sam meets the dealer’s beautiful daughter, Sarah, and he asks her out on a date. Horrified when the painting they’d thought destroyed was back in one piece, the boys go to the latest owners house, with Sarah in tow, to hopefully save her. The ghost in question is the little girl in the painting, Jodelle Ferland giving us her very best “creepy dead kid”, which she does so well (see exhibits A and B, Silent Hill and Cabin in the Woods).

So, that’s it. Took me much longer than I’d anticipated to finish this one, I kept on blocking while I was trying to write. Ever happen to you that suddenly you’re just staring blankly at the screen, mind empty? Well that’s been happening to me all morning. I dunno if it’s cause I’m tired, or what, but just getting these words out was incredibly tasking. So you’d better enjoy them!! Hehe. Like I said up top, I’m not sure all the episodes are in very real order, but that’s the basic of it.

Nov 2 2013

Top 15 Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ok, so this was supposed to be another top 10. But after paring down my list as far as it would go, I was still left with 18 titles, and was unwilling to take any more off. But, since top 18 sounds ridiculous, I (reluctantly) put 3 in “honourable mentions” and then had the joy of putting the remaining 15 in order. After literally pulling my hair out for about half an hour, I’ve done it, although I’m still not 100% sure they’re in the exact right order. But it will have to do, because I’m not starting that process over.

So, before we start, here are the 3 honourable mentions:

The Replacement – Xander gets zapped with a magical device aimed at Buffy, and wakes up alone in the dump the next morning. He goes to his apartment, and sees that a clone has taken over his life. One Xander on screen is great. Two is just gravy. Anya’s plea that she be able to take the two of them home for a while had me in stitches.

Once More, With Feeling – I keep thinking that this fun musical extravaganza needs to be on the list, and then I look at it and realize that, as awesome as this episode is, everything else on my list is just slightly better.

Something Blue – Trying to magic away her pain, Willow only ends up accidentally casting spells on all her friends instead. One of the funniest episodes, despite it’s sad reason of being.

So, without any further ado, here’s my Top 15 Episodes of Buffy!

15 – Wild at Heart

Oz finds himself inexplicably attracted to a beautiful new student, who’s also a musician. After busting out of his cage one night, he meets another wolf, and is surprised to find himself wake with her, entwined and very much naked, the next morning. The other wolf, Veruca, wants Oz for herself, and tries to get him to see that they belong free, not locked in a cage. With more dialogue from Oz than in a lot of episodes combined, this was a poignant episode. Lots of kleenex needed here.

14 – Nightmares

Something strange is happening in Sunnydale: everyone’s worst nightmares are happening for real. Buffy meets a quiet boy who seems to be at the center of the mystery, and they band together to try stop the phenomena, before reality collapses completely. The one and only episode where we see what Buffy would be like as a vampire.

13 – Earshot

While fighting a mouthless demon, Buffy wounds it, and some of it’s blood is absorbed into her skin. The next day she realizes that she can hear everyone’s thoughts. What at first is a cool novelty, quickly becomes unbearable as it, at first, starts to alienate her friends, then becomes an awful racket in her head she can’t turn off. But just before she slips into total chaos, she’s able to give the others a warning: someone is planning a massacre at the school. This episode was originally supposed to air around the time of a real school shooting, purely by coincidence, but they decided to postpone it a few months. Good thing there wasn’t too much of a continuity screwup.

12 – Buffy vs Dracula

What else to say that the title doesn’t cover? Buffy meets the infamous Count, and is, understandably, attracted to him. But that still doesn’t stop her from kicking his butt when the time comes. Xander as a Renfield type character is hilarious. Poor Xander, always getting the short end of the straw.

11 – Band Candy

Buffy’s school is selling chocolate bars to raise money for the marching band. The chocolate seems to have an addictive quality, and soon all the adults in the town are sucking it back like crazy. And, strangely, the more they eat, the more immature they get. When Buffy goes to the factory to get to the bottom of things, it’s a teenaged Giles, with a teenaged Joyce in tow, that accompanies her. Any fan that ever shipped Giles / Joyce was very happy to see this episode. Featuring Ethan Rayne, one of my favorite recurring villains.

10 – Passion

This was an unbelievably awful episode, and I mean that in the best way possible. Jenny buys an Orb of Thesula, hoping to be able to translate the original text to recurse Angel. Angelus finds out about it, thanks to a vision that Drusilla had, and chases Jenny through the school, after destroying both her computer and the Orb. Such a sad episode, really pushes Angelus’ evil to the very limit. What he does to Giles is so much worse than anything else he could have done.

9 – Normal Again

After being attacked by a demon sent by Warren and the gang, Buffy has vivid hallucinations of being locked in a mental institution. So vivid, in fact, that she’s no longer sure which world is real. She decides, for a moment, that her life is Sunnydale is the dream, and goes about trying to eliminate everything, and everyone, in it. Awesome episode.

8 – The Zeppo

This Xander-centric episode has him worrying that he’s got nothing to offer the gang, so he gets himself a beautiful new car. Which, as luck would have it, brings him nothing but trouble, as he gets in the way of campus bad boy Jack O’Toole. Sparing Xander after Xander told cops there was nothing going on, he hops in Xander’s car, and drags him around town, to get his friends. Much to Xander’s horror, Jack’s friends are all dead, and he’s raising them from their graves. And this is the beginning of Xander’s very long, very strange night. Equally funny and tense, this is a perfect showcase for the awesomeness that is Xander Harris.

7 – The Pack

This is the very first episode of Buffy I ever saw. I didn’t even know it existed before then, since I didn’t have cable tv at home. But I was at my grandparents place, just channel surfing, when I came across this, and I was hooked right from the get go. In this episode, Xander and a group of bullies from school get possessed by hyena spirits. The mean kids act basically the same, but Xander, who’s usually so nice, starts to act just like them. Buffy knows something’s wrong, though, especially after the school mascot, a cute little piglet, is found dead, seemingly eaten alive.

6 – Halloween

Another chaos filled evening courtesy of Ethan Rayne. It’s Halloween night and, after chanting a spell, every child and teen who bought a costume at Ethan’s shop turns into their costume. Buffy becomes a fainting 17th century lady (much to Angel and Cordelia’s chagrin), Willow becomes a (very sexy) ghost, and Xander is turned into a super soldier. Hearing Buffy’s been weakened, Spike comes looking for her.

5 – Killed By Death

A terrible flu is going around town, and Buffy, after being knocked out during patrol, is rushed to the hospital, burning with fever. While there she encounters one of the freakiest demons in the show’s history, Der Kinderstod. Invisible to anyone who’s not feverish, Buffy purposefully makes herself sicker so she can fight him.

4 – Doppelgangland

After doing a spell to help Anya find her pendant, an evil Willow is summoned from another dimension. Sickened that everything around her is normal and “safe”, she traps everyone in the Bronze with a group of vampires to have some fun. When she comes across the Willow from this reality, things really get fun.

3 – The Body

Call me masochistic to have an episode like this so high on my list, but it really is one of the best episodes of the whole show. Everyone’s acting is top notch, and, needless to say, tears fall like rain. I started crying at the beginning of the show, and kept crying all the way through, even after the credits were done rolling.

2 – The Wish

After making a seemingly innocent wish that Buffy would have never come to Sunnydale, Cordelia is stunned to find herself in world that is just that. She’s happy to find out that in this world she’s still Queen B, but her happiness is put on hold when she realizes just how many deaths there have been, including Xander and Willow’s. Deaths that had been prevented by Buffy. Going to Giles to get him to call Buffy, she encounters a vampire Xander and Willow. After a much changed Buffy arrives in Sunnydale to help with the dire situation, Giles summons the demon who granted the wish, to try get her to change the world back to the way it was.

1 – Hush

And finally, the very best of the best, the season 4 episode Hush. After a group of fairy tale-like creatures arrives in Sunnydale, every single person in town looses their voice. The creatures stalk the night, choosing victims who have the perfect hearts they need, and cut them out of their chests. Like the last line of the poem says: “You’re gonna die screaming, but you won’t be heard”. This mostly silent episode is really a perfect piece of television. It still gives me the creeps today.

And, that wraps up my top 15 Buffy episodes. Enjoyed it? Agree? Disagree? Let me know! And stay tuned for more! 🙂

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