Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by:
Brett Leonard
Year:
1992
Starring:
Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Gary Dauberman
Year:
2024
Starring:
Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes:
I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by:
Fraser C Heston
Year:
1993
Starring:
Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes:
I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by:
Mark Pavia
Year:
1997
Starring:
Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by:
Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring:
Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Stanley Kubrick
Year:
1980
Starring:
Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes:
I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1996
Starring:
Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes:
Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by:
Lewis Teague
Year:
1983
Starring:
Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Tobe Hooper
Year:
1979
Starring:
David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes:
I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by:
John Carpenter
Year:
1983
Starring:
Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes:
I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by:
Lawrence Kasdan
Year:
2003
Starring:
Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes:
This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1995
Starring:
Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes:
Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by:
John Power
Year:
1993
Starring:
Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes:
I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by:
Brian De Palma
Year:
1976
Starring:
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes:
Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes:
I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by:
David Cronenberg
Year:
1983
Starring:
Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes:
I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by:
David Koepp
Year:
2004
Starring:
Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes:
Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year:
2019
Starring:
Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes:
It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by:
Nikolaj Arcel
Year:
2017
Starring:
Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes:
*Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1997
Starring:
Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes:
I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by:
Bryan Singer
Year:
1998
Starring:
Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes:
Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by:
Mark L Lester
Year:
1984
Starring:
Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes:
Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by:
George A Romero
Year:
1993
Starring:
Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes:
I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Mikael Salomon
Year:
2004
Starring:
Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes:
Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2019
Starring:
James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1986
Starring:
Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes:
I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1990
Starring:
James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes:
Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes:
An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by:
Mikael Håfström
Year:
2007
Starring:
John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes:
I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by:
Rob Savage
Year:
2023
Starring:
Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes:
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
2007
Starring:
Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes:
Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by:
Daniel Attias
Year:
1985
Starring:
Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes:
I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
2002
Starring:
Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes:
Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Mary Lambert
Year:
1989
Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes:
Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by:
Tommy Lee Wallace
Year:
1990
Starring:
Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes:
I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1994
Starring:
Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes:
Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1994
Starring:
Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes:
With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2017
Starring:
Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

Top 15 Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ok, so this was supposed to be another top 10. But after paring down my list as far as it would go, I was still left with 18 titles, and was unwilling to take any more off. But, since top 18 sounds ridiculous, I (reluctantly) put 3 in “honourable mentions” and then had the joy of putting the remaining 15 in order. After literally pulling my hair out for about half an hour, I’ve done it, although I’m still not 100% sure they’re in the exact right order. But it will have to do, because I’m not starting that process over.

So, before we start, here are the 3 honourable mentions:

The Replacement – Xander gets zapped with a magical device aimed at Buffy, and wakes up alone in the dump the next morning. He goes to his apartment, and sees that a clone has taken over his life. One Xander on screen is great. Two is just gravy. Anya’s plea that she be able to take the two of them home for a while had me in stitches.

Once More, With Feeling – I keep thinking that this fun musical extravaganza needs to be on the list, and then I look at it and realize that, as awesome as this episode is, everything else on my list is just slightly better.

Something Blue – Trying to magic away her pain, Willow only ends up accidentally casting spells on all her friends instead. One of the funniest episodes, despite it’s sad reason of being.

So, without any further ado, here’s my Top 15 Episodes of Buffy!

15 – Wild at Heart

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Oz finds himself inexplicably attracted to a beautiful new student, who’s also a musician. After busting out of his cage one night, he meets another wolf, and is surprised to find himself wake with her, entwined and very much naked, the next morning. The other wolf, Veruca, wants Oz for herself, and tries to get him to see that they belong free, not locked in a cage. With more dialogue from Oz than in a lot of episodes combined, this was a poignant episode. Lots of kleenex needed here.

14 – Nightmares

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Something strange is happening in Sunnydale: everyone’s worst nightmares are happening for real. Buffy meets a quiet boy who seems to be at the center of the mystery, and they band together to try stop the phenomena, before reality collapses completely. The one and only episode where we see what Buffy would be like as a vampire.

13 – Earshot

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While fighting a mouthless demon, Buffy wounds it, and some of it’s blood is absorbed into her skin. The next day she realizes that she can hear everyone’s thoughts. What at first is a cool novelty, quickly becomes unbearable as it, at first, starts to alienate her friends, then becomes an awful racket in her head she can’t turn off. But just before she slips into total chaos, she’s able to give the others a warning: someone is planning a massacre at the school. This episode was originally supposed to air around the time of a real school shooting, purely by coincidence, but they decided to postpone it a few months. Good thing there wasn’t too much of a continuity screwup.

12 – Buffy vs Dracula

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What else to say that the title doesn’t cover? Buffy meets the infamous Count, and is, understandably, attracted to him. But that still doesn’t stop her from kicking his butt when the time comes. Xander as a Renfield type character is hilarious. Poor Xander, always getting the short end of the straw.

11 – Band Candy

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Buffy’s school is selling chocolate bars to raise money for the marching band. The chocolate seems to have an addictive quality, and soon all the adults in the town are sucking it back like crazy. And, strangely, the more they eat, the more immature they get. When Buffy goes to the factory to get to the bottom of things, it’s a teenaged Giles, with a teenaged Joyce in tow, that accompanies her. Any fan that ever shipped Giles / Joyce was very happy to see this episode. Featuring Ethan Rayne, one of my favorite recurring villains.

10 – Passion

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This was an unbelievably awful episode, and I mean that in the best way possible. Jenny buys an Orb of Thesula, hoping to be able to translate the original text to recurse Angel. Angelus finds out about it, thanks to a vision that Drusilla had, and chases Jenny through the school, after destroying both her computer and the Orb. Such a sad episode, really pushes Angelus’ evil to the very limit. What he does to Giles is so much worse than anything else he could have done.

9 – Normal Again

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After being attacked by a demon sent by Warren and the gang, Buffy has vivid hallucinations of being locked in a mental institution. So vivid, in fact, that she’s no longer sure which world is real. She decides, for a moment, that her life is Sunnydale is the dream, and goes about trying to eliminate everything, and everyone, in it. Awesome episode.

8 – The Zeppo

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This Xander-centric episode has him worrying that he’s got nothing to offer the gang, so he gets himself a beautiful new car. Which, as luck would have it, brings him nothing but trouble, as he gets in the way of campus bad boy Jack O’Toole. Sparing Xander after Xander told cops there was nothing going on, he hops in Xander’s car, and drags him around town, to get his friends. Much to Xander’s horror, Jack’s friends are all dead, and he’s raising them from their graves. And this is the beginning of Xander’s very long, very strange night. Equally funny and tense, this is a perfect showcase for the awesomeness that is Xander Harris.

7 – The Pack

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This is the very first episode of Buffy I ever saw. I didn’t even know it existed before then, since I didn’t have cable tv at home. But I was at my grandparents place, just channel surfing, when I came across this, and I was hooked right from the get go. In this episode, Xander and a group of bullies from school get possessed by hyena spirits. The mean kids act basically the same, but Xander, who’s usually so nice, starts to act just like them. Buffy knows something’s wrong, though, especially after the school mascot, a cute little piglet, is found dead, seemingly eaten alive.

6 – Halloween

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Another chaos filled evening courtesy of Ethan Rayne. It’s Halloween night and, after chanting a spell, every child and teen who bought a costume at Ethan’s shop turns into their costume. Buffy becomes a fainting 17th century lady (much to Angel and Cordelia’s chagrin), Willow becomes a (very sexy) ghost, and Xander is turned into a super soldier. Hearing Buffy’s been weakened, Spike comes looking for her.

5 – Killed By Death

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A terrible flu is going around town, and Buffy, after being knocked out during patrol, is rushed to the hospital, burning with fever. While there she encounters one of the freakiest demons in the show’s history, Der Kinderstod. Invisible to anyone who’s not feverish, Buffy purposefully makes herself sicker so she can fight him.

4 – Doppelgangland

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After doing a spell to help Anya find her pendant, an evil Willow is summoned from another dimension. Sickened that everything around her is normal and “safe”, she traps everyone in the Bronze with a group of vampires to have some fun. When she comes across the Willow from this reality, things really get fun.

3 – The Body

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Call me masochistic to have an episode like this so high on my list, but it really is one of the best episodes of the whole show. Everyone’s acting is top notch, and, needless to say, tears fall like rain. I started crying at the beginning of the show, and kept crying all the way through, even after the credits were done rolling.

2 – The Wish

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After making a seemingly innocent wish that Buffy would have never come to Sunnydale, Cordelia is stunned to find herself in world that is just that. She’s happy to find out that in this world she’s still Queen B, but her happiness is put on hold when she realizes just how many deaths there have been, including Xander and Willow’s. Deaths that had been prevented by Buffy. Going to Giles to get him to call Buffy, she encounters a vampire Xander and Willow. After a much changed Buffy arrives in Sunnydale to help with the dire situation, Giles summons the demon who granted the wish, to try get her to change the world back to the way it was.

1 – Hush

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And finally, the very best of the best, the season 4 episode Hush. After a group of fairy tale-like creatures arrives in Sunnydale, every single person in town looses their voice. The creatures stalk the night, choosing victims who have the perfect hearts they need, and cut them out of their chests. Like the last line of the poem says: “You’re gonna die screaming, but you won’t be heard”. This mostly silent episode is really a perfect piece of television. It still gives me the creeps today.

And, that wraps up my top 15 Buffy episodes. Enjoyed it? Agree? Disagree? Let me know! And stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.