Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by:
Brett Leonard
Year:
1992
Starring:
Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Gary Dauberman
Year:
2024
Starring:
Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes:
I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by:
Fraser C Heston
Year:
1993
Starring:
Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes:
I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by:
Mark Pavia
Year:
1997
Starring:
Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by:
Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring:
Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Stanley Kubrick
Year:
1980
Starring:
Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes:
I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1996
Starring:
Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes:
Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by:
Lewis Teague
Year:
1983
Starring:
Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Tobe Hooper
Year:
1979
Starring:
David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes:
I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by:
John Carpenter
Year:
1983
Starring:
Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes:
I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by:
Lawrence Kasdan
Year:
2003
Starring:
Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes:
This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1995
Starring:
Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes:
Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by:
John Power
Year:
1993
Starring:
Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes:
I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by:
Brian De Palma
Year:
1976
Starring:
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes:
Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes:
I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by:
David Cronenberg
Year:
1983
Starring:
Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes:
I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by:
David Koepp
Year:
2004
Starring:
Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes:
Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year:
2019
Starring:
Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes:
It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by:
Nikolaj Arcel
Year:
2017
Starring:
Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes:
*Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1997
Starring:
Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes:
I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by:
Bryan Singer
Year:
1998
Starring:
Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes:
Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by:
Mark L Lester
Year:
1984
Starring:
Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes:
Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by:
George A Romero
Year:
1993
Starring:
Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes:
I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Mikael Salomon
Year:
2004
Starring:
Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes:
Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2019
Starring:
James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1986
Starring:
Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes:
I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1990
Starring:
James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes:
Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes:
An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by:
Mikael Håfström
Year:
2007
Starring:
John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes:
I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by:
Rob Savage
Year:
2023
Starring:
Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes:
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
2007
Starring:
Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes:
Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by:
Daniel Attias
Year:
1985
Starring:
Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes:
I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
2002
Starring:
Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes:
Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Mary Lambert
Year:
1989
Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes:
Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by:
Tommy Lee Wallace
Year:
1990
Starring:
Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes:
I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1994
Starring:
Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes:
Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1994
Starring:
Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes:
With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2017
Starring:
Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

Stephen King’s The Stand – Dream Cast

One of these days, this project is going to get off the ground, I know it will. But really, they’ve got to stop yanking our chains and get this ball rolling before all the directors on the planet attach and detach themselves from the project. David Yates (of Harry Potter fame) was originally set to direct, but he dropped out because he felt the story should be told as a mini-series on tv, not a movie. Then Ben Affleck signed on, and I was very happy with that. Because as crappy as he is as an actor, the man is brilliant behind the camera. He should stay there. That was in late 2011. When absolutely nothing moved forward by August 2013, Ben dropped out to play Batman (which made me and every other geek on the planet cringe horribly, I’m sure). Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart) then joined himself to the project, just to drop out a little while later over “creative differences”.

So while the studios are scrambling around trying to find someone to write and direct the thing, I’ve been thinking of the cast. Now I’m a big fan of the original mini-series, but even I can admit that not all the actors were very good. In fact a few of them downright stank. And the style of filming, of acting, dress, talk, music and everything else is very, very 90’s, so everything would need a good updating (Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man? may need a little tweeking :-p ).

So, while thinking of all this, I did what every person with way too much time on their hands would do: I made a list of the actors I would love to see in each of the roles (and a few extras, just in case my first choice is busy, hehehe).

 

STU REDMAN (originally played by Gary Sinise)

Stu isn’t described much beyond being a “quiet man from Texas”. King seems to like us to make our own images of what the characters look like by what they say and do. I liked Gary Sinise in the role, but something was off. I’m not sure what.

MY PICK: Timothy Olyphant
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Ok, so he’s much prettier than I’d ever imagined Stu being, but I’m sure Timothy could handle looking scruffy. Plus he’s good at accents, so I’m sure he’d pull off Stu’s creamy southern drawl well.

Other choices: Colin Farrell, Nathan Fillion or Josh Brolin.

 

RANDALL FLAGG (originally played by Jamey Sheridan)

Flagg is described as “He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall dead off telephone lines.” Flagg was one of the characters I didn’t like all that much. The actor did a good job with what he was given, but he came across as too humourous. Flagg is supposed to be fucking creepy in a scary way, not a funny way.

MY PICK: Viggo Mortensen
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Viggo’s a damn fine actor, and can be creepy as hell. Remember him in The Prophecy? I still get goosebumps.

Other choices: Karl Urban, Guy Pearce, or Willem Dafoe.

 

FRANNIE GOLDSMITH (originally played by Molly Ringwald)

Frannie is described as a pregnant, red-headed college student. She was my least favorite character in the mini-series. Molly Ringwald was so wrong for the role.

MY PICK: Emily Blunt
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She’s beautiful, and can actually act.

Other picks: Alyson Hannigan, Megan Good, or Ellen Page.

 

MOTHER ABIGAIL (originally played by Ruby Dee)

Mother Abigail is described as being a tiny, black, 108 year old woman (who still bakes her own bread). Ruby Dee did an amazing job, and I wouldn’t dream of seeing anyone else in the role.
Image

 

LARRY UNDERWOOD (originally played by Adam Storke)

Larry’s described as a young, cocky singer. Adam was great in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jared Leto
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Not only is he disgustingly beautiful, he’s got an amazing voice, and can really act. Bitch. I’m not digging his current Jesus thing he’s got going on right now (I much preferred the all dark, or black and red), but he’s still gorgeous. And he’s FINALLY getting the recognition he deserves (with both a Golden Globe and an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club). But anyways, I’m rambling here. The point is, he’d be perfect for this part. I’m sure he’d come up with a bitchin’ version of Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man?, hehehe.

Other picks: Orlando Bloom, Casey Affleck or Cillian Murphy.

 

HAROLD LAUDER (originally played by Corin Nemec)

Harold’s described as a geeky 16 year old at the start, but gradually becomes quite attractive as the book goes on. Corin Nemec did a good job acting Harold, but the look was so very wrong.

MY PICK: Jon Heder
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Ok, he might be a little old for the part. But so was Corin Nemec, so meh. I think he’d be so perfect for the part. He obviously does geeky well (Napoleon Dynamite anyone?) but I think he’s also really cute. He was downright adorable in Just Like Heaven.

Other picks: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Cera, or Ryan Gosling.

 

NADINE CROSS (originally played by Laura San Giacomo)

Nadine is described as a young, virginal, private school teacher. Laura San Giacomo looked like none of those things. This has got to be one of the worst casting decisions in history. And yes, I’m including Ben Affleck’s Batman. Seriously, it’s bad.

MY PICK: Natalie Portman
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She’s a wonderful actress, and great at descending into madness.

Other picks: Kat Dennings, Mila Kunis, or Genevieve Cortese (or is it Genevieve Padalecki now? Or Cortese-Padalecki? Whew, that would be a mouthful… Anyways, whatever, you know who I mean :-p )

 

NICK ANDROS (originally played by Rob Lowe)

Nick is described as being 22, beautiful, and deaf and dumb. Rob Lowe was awesome in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jackson Rathbone
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Doesn’t get much more beautiful than Jackson, who is easily the best thing in every film he’s been in. Just look at those eyeballs, ah! I could drown in those pools. He doesn’t always pick the best material (*cough* The Last Airbender *cough*), but when given the chance to shine, he does, very bright.

Other picks: Ben Barnes, Jensen Ackles, or Ian Somerhalder.

 

TOM CULLEN (originally played by Bill Fagerbakke)

Tom is described as a big man with mild to moderate mental retardation, of indeterminate age. Bill Fagerbakke did an amazing job as Tom, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to do the job. And since he’s of “indeterminate age”, it doesn’t matter that the actor aged.
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LLOYD HENREID (originally played by Miguel Ferrer)

Lloyd is described as a petty thief who ends up on a killing spree with his partner, Poke. Miguel Ferrer did a great job in the role.

MY PICK: David Duchovny
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He’s a great actor, and is good at playing skeezy roles. And really, we don’t see enough of David. I don’t watch his show, Californication, so I barely see him at all. I have to watch The X Files to get my Duchovny-fix, hehe.

Other picks: Stephen Moyer, James Spader, or Brad Pitt.

 

TRASHCAN MAN (originally played by Matt Frewer)

Trash is described as a schizophrenic pyromaniac. He wanders setting whole cities ablaze until he’s recruited by Flagg.

MY PICK: Jackie Earle Haley
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Creepy and crazy. Nuff said.

Other picks: Steve Buscemi, Woody Harrelson, or Gabriel Byrne.

 

GLEN BATEMAN (originally played by Ray Walston)

Glen is described as a retired sociology professor handicapped by arthritis.

MY PICK: Ian McKellan
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The obvious choice for the wise old man, I know, but hey. If it ain’t broke…

Other picks: Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, or Clint Eastwood.

 

JULIE LAWRY (originally played by Shawnee Smith)

Julie is described as an unstable, sex crazed teenager. Shawnee Smith was absolutely perfect in the role, and replacing her will be crazy hard, but it must be done. As beautiful as she still looks, she definitely doesn’t look like a teenager anymore.

MY PICK: Dakota Fanning
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She’s an amazing young actress. She’s got unbelievable range, especially for someone so young.

Other picks: Jennifer Lawrence, Jodelle Ferland, or Hayden Pantenierre.

 

There are many other characters in the book, but I’m tired now :p Maybe If I ever feel like a real big challenge, I’ll sit down with the book and make a list of the others. But, for now… The End 🙂

M.