Ranking Stephen King Adaptations (that I’ve seen)

It’s no secret that I love Stephen King books. I’ve read a good number of them and I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed. The adaptations, however… not always so much. I’ve seen 38 of them so here’s my ranking from worst to best. There won’t be any derivative works, nothing not directly based on the books. So no Pet Sematary 2, no Return to Salem’s Lot, etc. Enjoy!

NUMBER 38

Title:  The Lawnmower Man
Directed by:
Brett Leonard
Year:
1992
Starring:
Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Austin O’Brien
Notes: I can’t express just how bad this film is. Worst part is, there’s actors in this that can actually act, not that you can tell by watching this turd.

NUMBER 37

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Gary Dauberman
Year:
2024
Starring:
Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter, Alfre Woodard, Bill Camp, John Benjamin Hickey, Nicholas Crovetti, Spencer Treat Clark, Alexander Ward
Notes:
I was very much looking forward to this film. Then I watched it and… holy crap is this a piece of shit. It insulted my intelligence.

NUMBER 36

Title: Needful Things
Directed by:
Fraser C Heston
Year:
1993
Starring:
Max von Sydow, Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, JT Walsh, Ray McKinnon, Duncan Fraser, Valri Bromfield
Notes:
I honestly don’t remember much about this one because I saw it when it first played on tv in 1993 (I was 12). But what I do remember is that it sucked. Stick to the book. It was great.

NUMBER 35

Title: The Night Flier
Directed by:
Mark Pavia
Year:
1997
Starring:
Miguel Ferrer, Julie Entwisle, Dan Monahan, Michael H Moss, John Bennes, Beverly Skinner
Notes: Another one that I don’t remember much about except for the fact that I hated it. But I’ve recently heard a few YouTubers saying that it’s worth another viewing. Maybe I will.

NUMBER 34

Title: In the Tall Grass
Directed by:
Vincenzo Natali
Year: 2019
Starring:
Laysla De Oliveira, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson, Will Buie Jr, Harrison Sloan Gilbertson, Rachel Wilson
Notes: I haven’t read the book, which King co-authored with his son, Joe Hill. It has to be better than this drivel. It has to be.

NUMBER 33

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Stanley Kubrick
Year:
1980
Starring:
Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone
Notes:
I know many, many people are going to disagree with me here, but I absolutely hated this film. The acting is laughable, even by 80’s standards. But I can stand strong in my opinion knowing that King himself hated it.

NUMBER 32

Title: Thinner
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1996
Starring:
Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Lucinda Jenney, Bethany Joy Lenz, Michael Constantine, Terence Kava, Kari Wuhrer
Notes:
Another one I don’t remember much. What I do remember is feeling really bored.

NUMBER 31

Title: Cujo
Directed by:
Lewis Teague
Year:
1983
Starring:
Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter, Moe and Cubby the dogs
Notes: The performances in the film are great. But holy boring. The book can tell you what’s going on in Donna’s head, so it’s very good. But the film can’t do that (unless they add cheesy narration), so it just ends up being mostly dull.

NUMBER 30

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Tobe Hooper
Year:
1979
Starring:
David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres, Julie Cobb, Elisha Cook Jr, George Dzundza
Notes:
I really don’t get all the hype around this movie. It was sooooo boring…

NUMBER 29

Title: Christine
Directed by:
John Carpenter
Year:
1983
Starring:
Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Christine Belford, Roberts Blossom
Notes:
I just found the acting in this to be terrible, especially the lead. Ho-boy….

NUMBER 28

Title: Dreamcatcher
Directed by:
Lawrence Kasdan
Year:
2003
Starring:
Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Notes:
This was already a silly concept as a book, but to actually see it on screen? Yikes. And it actually has a really stacked cast! How on earth did they convince all these great actors to do a film based around aliens that explode out of your anus??

NUMBER 27

Title: The Langoliers
Directed by:
Tom Holland
Year:
1995
Starring:
Patricia Wettig, Tom Holland, Kate Maberly, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Bronson Pinchot, David Morse, Dean Stockwell
Notes:
Interesting premise, but laughable 90’s cgi really ruins it.

NUMBER 26

Title: The Tommyknockers
Directed by:
John Power
Year:
1993
Starring:
Jimmy Smits, Marg Helgenberger, John Ashton, Allyce Beasley, Robert Carradine, Joanna Cassidy, Cliff De Young, Traci Lords
Notes:
I don’t remember much about this except people pulling their own teeth out. But I remember liking it ok. As a side note, Stephen King has said that The Tommyknockers was the product of a mountain of cocaine. So there’s that.

NUMBER 25

Title: Carrie
Directed by:
Brian De Palma
Year:
1976
Starring:
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, PJ Soles
Notes:
Good Idea, competently filmed, but it just left me a little cold. It was a little boring for most of the runtime.

NUMBER 24

Title: Storm of the Century
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Casey Siemaszko, Debrah Farentino, Dyllan Christopher, Jeffrey DeMunn, Julianne Nicholson
Notes:
I only saw this once, when it aired on tv, and I remember nothing about it except that it was alright. Well, I remember the overall concept, and how it ended, so I guess that’s not exactly nothing.

NUMBER 23

Title: The Dead Zone
Directed by:
David Cronenberg
Year:
1983
Starring:
Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams, Tom Skerritt, Herbert Lom, Anthony Zerbe, Colleen Dewhurst, Martin Sheen
Notes:
I absolutely loved the book, but the movie was pretty meh. Not awful, but definitely not something I’d watch again.

NUMBER 22

Title: Secret Window
Directed by:
David Koepp
Year:
2004
Starring:
Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S Dutton, Len Cariou, John Dunn-Hill
Notes:
Interesting idea, and most of the film was good, but the ending was a little silly. Gotta love messy-haired Johnny, though!

NUMBER 21

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer
Year:
2019
Starring:
Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jeté Laurence, Hugo and Lucas Lavoie, Obssa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Notes:
It wasn’t god-awful, but it wasn’t good either. It just felt very unnecessary.

NUMBER 20

Title: The Dark Tower
Directed by:
Nikolaj Arcel
Year:
2017
Starring:
Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Dennis Haysbert, Claudia Kim, Jackie Earle Haley, Fran Kranz, Katheryn Winnick
Notes:
*Dreaming about what could have been* *Wakes up* “Oh…” *sigh*

NUMBER 19

Title: The Shining
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1997
Starring:
Steven Weber. Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, Wil Horneff, Melvin Van Peebles, Stanley Anderson, Elliott Gould
Notes:
I know a lot of people didn’t really like this one, but it’s much better than the original (imho), and much closer to the real story.

NUMBER 18

Title: Apt Pupil
Directed by:
Bryan Singer
Year:
1998
Starring:
Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Ann Dowd, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas
Notes:
Now we’re getting into the ones that I really liked. This film was beyond disturbing, but it was very well done. Plus, 17 year old me had a massive crush on Brad Renfro (rip).

NUMBER 17

Title: Firestarter
Directed by:
Mark L Lester
Year:
1984
Starring:
Drew Barrymore, David Keith, George C Scott, Heather Locklear, Martin Sheen, Louise Fletcher, Freddie Jones, Moses Gunn
Notes:
Not a great movie by any means, but I always have fun with it. George C Scott (rip) is awesome, as always!

NUMBER 16

Title: The Dark Half
Directed by:
George A Romero
Year:
1993
Starring:
Timothy Hutton, Beth Grant, Amy Madigan, Patrick Brannan, Larry John Meyers, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst
Notes:
I should re-visit this one. I remember liking it a whole lot, but I haven’t seen it in literal decades, so I don’t remember much.

NUMBER 15

Title: Salem’s Lot
Directed by:
Mikael Salomon
Year:
2004
Starring:
Rob Lowe, Andre Braugher, Donald Sutherland, Samantha Mathis, Dan Byrd, Rutger Hauer, James Cromwell, Robert Mammone
Notes:
Finally, a version of Salem’s Lot that I actually liked! With it being a two parter, they really had more time to flesh out the story.

NUMBER 14

Title: It Chapter 2
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2019
Starring:
James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
While not a bad movie, it’s definitely not nearly as good as the first one. The original miniseries had that same trouble. Part 2 was good but kinda lacking. And I could have used less cgi and more practical effects. It almost always looks better.

NUMBER 13

Title: Stand By Me
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1986
Starring:
Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Casey Siemaszko, Gary Riley
Notes:
I haven’t seen this film in years, but parts of it still live in my head. And I had such a crush on River Phoenix that started here and lasted til his untimely death (rip). Based on The Body.

NUMBER 12

Title: Misery
Directed by:
Rob Reiner
Year:
1990
Starring:
James Caan, Kathy Bates, Richard Farnsworth, Frances Sternhagen, JT Walsh, Misery the Pig
Notes:
Such a great film. That hobbling scene lives rent-free in my head, ugh. Kathy Bates won a very well-earned Oscar for her role.

NUMBER 11

Title: The Green Mile
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1999
Starring:
Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, James Cromwell, Michael Jeter, Graham Greene, Barry Pepper, Sam Rockwell
Notes:
An absolutely start-studded cast are amazing in this film. Get out your Kleenex, you’re gonna need it!!

NUMBER 10

Title: 1408
Directed by:
Mikael Håfström
Year:
2007
Starring:
John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub, Len Cariou, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Jasmine Jessica Anthony
Notes:
I wasn’t sure about this film the first time I saw it, but the more often I watch it, the more I love it.

NUMBER 9

Title: The Boogeyman
Directed by:
Rob Savage
Year:
2023
Starring:
Sophie Thatcher, Chris Messina, Vivien Lyra Blair, David Dastmalchian, Marin Ireland, Madison Hu
Notes:
I’m not sure if I’m in the minority (again), but I really loved this thing. It kinda got to me, maybe cause I’m afraid of the dark, hehe.

NUMBER 8

Title: The Mist
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
2007
Starring:
Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Toby Jones, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn
Notes:
Bad cgi monsters aside, this film is amazing. Everyone gives great performances, and that gut-punch of an ending? Holy shit!

NUMBER 7

Title: Silver Bullet
Directed by:
Daniel Attias
Year:
1985
Starring:
Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Terry O’Quinn, Leon Russom, Bill Smitrovich
Notes:
I had a MASSIVE crush on Corey Haim (rip) growing up, and so I watched absolutely everything with him in it. This was one of the first ones I saw, and I was surprised at how much I liked it. Based on Cycle of the Werewolf.

NUMBER 6

Title: Rose Red
Directed by:
Craig R Baxley
Year:
2002
Starring:
Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Kimberly J Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Julian Sands, Matt Ross, David Dukes, Judith Ivey, Julia Campbell, Emily Deschanel
Notes:
Besides my lifelong crush on Julian Sands (rip), this is just a really good haunted house story. It’s surprisingly creepy for something that was made for tv.

NUMBER 5

Title: Pet Sematary
Directed by:
Mary Lambert
Year:
1989
Starring:
Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Fred Gwynne, Miko Hughes, Brad Greenquist, Michael Lombard, Blaze Berdahl, Andrew Hubatsek
Notes:
Denise Crosby’s atrocious acting aside, this movie is amazing. It’s just so unbelievably creepy. And it’s a pretty good adaptation of the book as well. Bonus points!

NUMBER 4

Title: It
Directed by:
Tommy Lee Wallace
Year:
1990
Starring:
Jonathan Brandis, Richard Thomas, Emily Perkins, Annette O’Toole, Brandon Crane, John Ritter, Seth Green, Harry Anderson, Adam Faraizl, Dennis Christopher, Marlon Taylor, Tim Reid, Ben Heller, Jarred Blancard, Olivia Hussey, Tim Curry
Notes:
I saw this when it first aired on tv in 1990. I was 9 years old. Probably too young, but there you have it. Tim Curry is unbelievably creepy as Pennywise, and fueled my lifelong fear of clowns.

NUMBER 3

Title: The Stand
Directed by:
Mick Garris
Year:
1994
Starring:
Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Ruby Dee, Adam Storke, Rob Lowe, Laura San Giacomo, Bill Fagerbakke, Corin Nemec, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bridgit Ryan, Shawnee Smith
Notes:
Clocking in at 6 hours, this is a massive piece of film. And needed all that time because the book is a literal brick! I love this film so much. I give it a re-watch every year or 2 years. I’m actually due, it’s been a while.

NUMBER 2

Title: The Shawshank Redemption
Directed by:
Frank Darabont
Year:
1994
Starring:
Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, James Whitmore, Mark Rolston
Notes:
With an IMDb score of 9.3/10, I don’t really think I need to explain why this one is so good. The acting, the writing, the filming, everything is amazing. Based on Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

NUMBER 1

Title: It
Directed by:
Andy Muschietti
Year:
2017
Starring:
Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Nicholas Hamilton, Jackson Robert Scott, Bill Skarsgård
Notes:
I never thought I’d end up loving this film as much as I do, more than the 90’s version. I mean, Tim Curry defined the role as Pennywise, but Bill Skarsgård really knocks it out of the park. This is a perfect film. Too bad the sequel didn’t hit the bar that this one set.

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

M.

p.s. There are a few notable films that are missing that I just haven’t gotten around to yet. The Monkey, The Long Walk, and Doctor Sleep are all on my to-watch list. I also want to watch Welcome to Derry, but it wouldn’t have been on this list anyways cause it’s derivative from King’s books, not really based on them.

Teen Heartthrobs – Then and Now

After growing up in a house with 12 to 14 people living in it at any given time, I was happy to finally get my own room in my mid-teens. Not only was it my own room, but it was the biggest in the house, and in the basement, so I had lots of privacy. It helped that everyone thought the room was haunted and never wanted to come near it, but that’s a whole other story. A big room meant I had lots and lots of wall space, and boy did I ever put it to good use. Every available space was filled with posters of cute boys from the teen magazines I used to read: Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, Bop, 16 and others. I used my allowance to buy subscriptions to these magazines, and I had a handful of new posters to add to my collection each month. After a while I had to start using the ceiling, but that was so hard to manage that I eventually gave up on it and took older posters down to make space. The 90’s (which is when I was a teenager) were a good decade for cute boys, it certainly produced a great deal of them. A few of them are still working today, but a lot of them have sunk into oblivion (or darn near it), and a few of them are unfortunately no longer with us. You’ll probably notice a few notable names missing in this list, and that’s because I tried to minimize the names, not to make an entry that’ll take 3 hours to go through. There are some actors that started acting in their teens, but were never really considered a “teen idol”, for whatever reason. Elijah Wood, for example, started acting as a kid, and worked all through his teen years, but he never really did the “teen actor” thing, and mostly picked non-teen-movie roles, as did Leonardo DiCaprio, so neither of them is in the list. We all know what became of them, anyways, hehe. I also only put the ones that I personally found attractive. So there may be a few “obvious” heartthrobs that I seemingly forgot, like Edward Furlong or Rider Strong for example, but I didn’t forget. I just didn’t like them :-p

I’ve always been curious to find out what happened to my favourite actors from back then, so I decided to make a list with pictures showing what these actors look like now. Some, still being popular today, were easy to find recent pictures of. Some haven’t worked in years, so pictures were less easily available, but I Googled my little heart out and managed to find some pretty decent stuff. Most of these actors are from the 90’s, since that’s when I was a teen, those are the ones I know best. But I have included a few boys from the 80’s as well, from those films that I loved all through childhood and into my teens. A good few have aged remarkably well, while others… not so much. Let’s get this started! 😀

 

Image

I first saw Andrew in Independence Day. He had a speaking role, but it contained all of one line. Such an impression did Andrew leave with his one line of dialogue that he was all over the teen magazines for months after, which I’m sure is what helped jump start his career. He was on the short-lived sitcom Thunder Alley after that, but his really big break came from the hit film 10 Things I Hate About You with Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger. While he used to be the bad boy with long hair, the tables turned in this film and he played a jocky douchebag (and he did it real well too). He worked pretty steadily until 2004, a few indie films (including the wonderful Broken Hearts Club) and as a regular on the tv show 7th Heaven, and that’s when the roles got fewer and far in-between. So what’s he up to today? ImageHe’s currently filming a horror flick called Living Among Us, with Esmé Bianco (and her wonderful breasts) and William Sadler. The film is due to be released October 1st of this year. Other than that, he’s only had a spattering of guest starring roles on a few tv shows, none of which are really interesting. Hopefully this new film will help his career get back on track. Horror is a great genre for comebacks!

 

Image

Brad Renfro got his big break at age 10, starring along side Tommy Lee Jones and Susan Sarandon in The Client, based on the awesome book of the same name by John Grisham. After that wonderful performance, his star rose quickly, film offers coming in by the ton. He was in the fun Tom and Huck, with fellow heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas, but then once his hunk status was established, he quickly made sure to remind audiences that he had real talent, Imageand made a string of wonderful, if sometimes hard to watch, films, including Sleepers and Apt Pupil, with Ian McKellan. He worked almost non-stop until 2002, when his addictions were starting to get the best of him and work was getting harder to keep because of it. So what’s he up to today? Unfortunately, after battling his addictions for the greater part of his young life, he succumbed to them fully and on January 15, 2008 he was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment, victim of an accidental heroine overdose. A shame that such talent was wasted on a junkie…

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One of my few entries from the 80’s, I first saw Corey way back when I was a wee thing in what is, to this day, my favourite film of all time, The Lost Boys. I had a crush on him even before I knew what crushes even were! hehe I didn’t see any of his other teen flicks until I was in my late teens, so most (probably all) of my love for him came from The Lost Boys, which I watched so often that I could recite the entire film by heart. I also wore out the tape, and had to replace it. Twice. I was glad when they finally put it out on dvd, I could stop re-buying stuff. He worked steadily until 1993, and then that’s when his Imageaddictions pretty much put an end to his career. He got less and less interesting roles until, finally, he had to accept any work that came his way, no matter how crappy it was (and some of them were really, really bad), just to pay for his addiction of choice, painkillers. He tried a number of times to get clean and kick-start his career over again, but in the end he always succumbed to the drugs. So what’s he up to today? Sadly, Corey Haim is no longer with us. On March 10, 2010 his mother walked into his room of their small apartment and found him motionless on the floor. He was pronounced dead on his arrival at the hospital. Anyone who knew him couldn’t honestly say that they were surprised that he died young, but they were surprised to find out that he died not of an overdose, as most would expect, but of complications of pneumonia.

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Devon got his big break, after a few smaller roles, as the humanized title ghost in Casper. It was just for one scene, but it got all the fan girls in a tizzy, and Devon’s ridiculously cute mug was a staple in the teen mags after that. ImageHe made a few films a year until 2000 (including awesome contributions to the horror genre, Idle Hands and Final Destination), after that he seems to have just vanished. Nothing on his IMDB profile for the next 10 years looks even vaguely familiar. So what’s he up to today? After 10 years of making a handful of films that no one saw, he landed himself a recurring role on the reboot of the spy show Nikita, with Maggie Q and Shane West, and he revisited the horror genre in the direct-to-dvd A Resurrection. Nothing else is on his plate as of now.

Image

I first saw Jonathan in The Neverending Story 2 (which, after recently rewatching it, I realize is a horrible film. I must have really have had a crush on him to have watched it as many times as I had). The year after that Stephen King’s It was made into a 2 part tv mini-series, and Jonathan was cast as one of the young “Loser’s Club”, 7 best friends to face a (fucking terrifying) monster who masquerades as a clown. Despite my intense fear of clowns (or coulrophobia, if you wanna get fancy), ImageIt is still one of my favourite films, even though it’s a little cheezy and just screams “90’s TV!” After that he made a few more tv movies and guest starred in a few shows before being cast as one of the leads of the futuristic show SeaQuest DSV. After the show ended however, roles started getting scarce, good roles even scarcer. So what’s he up to today? Unfortunately Jonathan suffered from depression, not helped along by a bit of a drinking problem, and finally, on November 12, 2003, after months of depressing about his waning career, he committed suicide by hanging himself in his Los Angeles apartment. He was found, alive but just barely, by a friend who immediately called the ambulance. It was too late, however, the injury too severe, and he died 15 hours later.

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Jonathan was never in anything that I would have watched on my own, but after seeing him in my teen mags, I did something that I’d vowed never to do: I started watching a soap opera. Jonathan played Lucky Spencer on General Hospital for 6 years. And once I started watching, it was like crack. I knew it was bad, and yet I was hooked. I watched every day (the VCR programmed to tape it every day while I was in school) for the next two years. Jonathan Jackson nowAfter his stint on General Hospital, he did a few movies, and then sort of faded away, projects coming through at a very slow rate. So what’s he up to today? After a guest spot on the short-lived Sarah Connor Chronicles, he’s got 4 years of nothing. Then, in 2012, he got a role as a regular on the country music drama Nashville, which is in it’s second season. As of now, that’s all he’s got going on, but hopefully this new show will reignite his star. He’s quite good, and still gorgeous. I’m glad to see he hasn’t cut off his beautiful hair, which so many men do when they age…

Jonny Lee Miller

I first saw Jonny in what still remains one of my favourite teen films of all time, Hackers. He’d already been a pretty big star when he did the film, but only in the UK. Hackers saw his star rise in America, and since that first film he’s been working almost non-stop, both here and in the UK. So what’s he up to today? He’s currently starring in Elementary with Lucy Liu. The show’s in it’s second season. While you Were SleepingPersonally, I don’t like it, I much prefer Sherlock. The little twist of making both Watson and Moriarty women was cute, but then because of that, everything became about feelings. The Sherlock Holmes stories don’t need all that, they’re perfect the way they are. Adding all this crap is just… well… crap :-p But I’m getting off topic here. Jonny’s one of the few actors who successfully juggle both film and television (a lot of actors from TV seem to have bad luck in getting good film roles). In 2010 he was the baddie of Dexter‘s fifth season. He’s a big fan of genre films, as well, so his handsome mug is all over horror. It’s always nice when good actors like to do horror and thrillers.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joseph’s rather incredible career started when he was a mere 7 years old. After a few guest spots on other TV shows, he landed a spot on the short-lived but awesome Dark Shadows. It only lasted one season, which is a real shame because I loved it. It always seems to happen that way with awesome shows. The next few years saw a bunch of guest spots on shows and a few kid’s films. Joseph Gordon-Levitt nowThen, in 1996, he became a household name almost overnight when he signed on to the hit show 3rd Rock from the Sun, with John Lithgow. So what’s he up to today? After 3rd Rock ended in 2001, he took it easy for 3 years or so, doing just one project a year till 2005. Then, all of a sudden it seemed, he was everywhere, making 4 to 5 pictures a year. Most recently he’s got Sin City: A Dame to Kill For in production, and his directorial debut, Don Jon, was in cinemas not too long ago. He also joined the Batman franchise in The Dark Knight Rises, as Robin. As for his looks, he just seems to get better looking with each passing year, although I admit I really miss that long hair…

Josh Hartnett

Josh literally exploded onto the scene in 1998, going from complete unknown to household name overnight. He did films of all genres, doing some horror and teen films, Josh Hartnett nowlike The Faculty and The Virgin Suicides, earlier in his career, then moving on to action and chick flicks later. He was incredibly popular until about 2007, when his star began to wan. So what’s he up to today? After having practically nothing on his resume for the last couple of years, he’s now got a show, Penny Dreadful, in production, and has one film, Parts Per Billion, due out this year.

JTT

Ask almost any woman my age and she’ll tell you, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (or JTT, as the teen mags called him) was one of the hottest teen idols of the 90’s. After a few roles in kid’s shows in the late 80’s, Jonathan struck gold when he landed the role of middle son Randy on Tim Allen’s hit show Home Improvement. He was on the show for 7 years, making teen girls everywhere swoon. He made a bunch of films during that time too, most notably he was the voice of young Simba in The Lion KingJTT nowSo what’s he up to today? Ego got the best of him, and he left Home Improvement (by lying to Tim Allen about wanting to go to school) to focus on a movie career. Unfortunately, despite what it may seem like on tv and in films, Hollywood doesn’t like flakey actors, and lying to leave a good, money-making career was not a wise move on his part. He got a few roles after that, but they were all duds, and in 2000, the roles stopped coming all together. From 2003 to 2006 he got a (very small) handful of guest spots on tv shows (mostly cartoons and cameos), and then nothing at all until 2013, where he got a guest spot on a few episodes of some show called Last Man Standing. Checking IMDB to see what it is, it’s Tim Allen’s new sitcom. I guess they’ve finally put any bad blood behind them.

Matthew Lillard

I first saw Matthew (and fell in love with him) in Hackers, with Jonny Lee Miller (lots of beauty in this film, hehe). He worked a lot after that, mostly in teen films or horror films (or teen horror! lol). Sadly he never got the role he deserved, as a leading man. He’s never been (in the stuff I’ve seen anyways) “the one”.  He’s never the main romantic interest, never the main hero, if he saves the day it was always beside or behind the “real” hero. Hell, he even got Matthew Lillard nowregulated to “sidekick villain” in Scream. They couldn’t even let him be his own bad guy, he was just following his friend Billy. So what’s he up to today? After Scooby-Doo 2his star seems to wan a little. There’s a lot of entries in his IMDB page, but if you look closely it’s a lot of voice acting work (mostly for Scooby-Doo cartoons), guest spots on tv shows, even voices in video games (mostly Scooby-Doo games). He’s milking that role as Shaggy for all it’s worth! Hey, I guess it pays the bills. But he seems to be trying to pull away from that in the last few years. He’s only got one upcoming Scooby-Doo thing, and he’s currently in a show called The Bridge, with Diane Kruger and Ted Levine, about a serial killer operating on the Mexico/US border. I hadn’t heard of it till now. I like serial killer stuff, I may just check it out. Matthew also has two more films due out this year, a true-story sports film called One Heartand Match, which seems to be some sort of dramatic comedy, co-starring Patrick Stewart and Carla Gugino.

M.

The Most Beautiful Men

It’s no secret: I like beautiful men. I have a pretty specific genre that I like, and if there’s anyone who I find beautiful that’s not in my usual criteria, you can imagine that he’s as damn near perfect as a person can get, hehe. There isn’t really much else to say, this post is pure visual candy. I’m oogling them, and unashamed. Care to join me? Here they are, in alphabetical order (since that’s how they’re ordered in my pictures file :-p ), the men in the entertainment industry that I find the best looking. (For those who prefer women, worry not! I shall do another post like this about the ladies!)

 

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I’ve known who Alexander is for a good while now, but I hadn’t seen anything that he’d done until True Blood. And really, they couldn’t have picked a better actor to portray the thousand year old Viking. He definitely looked his best in season 1, when they actually had him looking like a Viking. He hadn’t cut his hair for a thousand years, why on earth would he start now?? That’s just one of the (many) things that annoy me about the show. But I digress…

 

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Andy Biersack is the lead singer for the rock group Black Veil Brides. I don’t like all their music, but it’s mostly pretty good, and the band is talented. Andy’s vocals are quite amazing, surprisingly deep for someone that looks so… girly :-p If I were putting this list in order, Andy would be very near the top, maybe even number one. Let’s just pretend, for skeezyness’ sake, that he’s not only 21 years old, ok…?

 

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Dorian Gray. That’s really all I need to say here. A quite liberal take on the book, I nevertheless enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I’m sure seeing almost all of Ben’s skin had nothing to do with that… He’s got such a baby face that I was surprised (and rather relieved) that he’s the same age as me!

 

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Before Star Trek 2, I’d never heard of Benedict. My friends have been singing the praises of Sherlock since it came out, but I’d never gotten around to watching it until recently. Before I saw him on the big screen, I’d only seen pictures, and was unimpressed. I thought he was just weird looking, like a strange elf. And then I saw him in action on-screen. And oh. My. God. I had to take back every single thing I said about him. I was so smitten that the very next day after seeing ST2, I hooked myself up to Netflix and watched Sherlock. Watching him in action as the famous sleuth literally takes my breath away. And that voice… mm.

 

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Before Hemlock Grove, I didn’t even know Alexander had a brother (let alone the 3 other siblings he’s got besides Bill!), but after watching the show I have to ask myself, what the heck is in the water in Sweden?? I mean really.

 

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Lead singer for the alternative band Placebo, I’ve been in love with Brian Molko (and Placebo) since I graduated high school. He’s got such a unique voice, makes such amazing, powerful, meaningful music that it’s literally impossible to not love him. He’s 40 now, but he still looks freaking fabulous!

 

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Colin looks good in pretty much everything he’s been in. And if he happens to be in a role that allows him use of his real accent (Irish), the hotness doubles. But if I had to choose the one film he looked best in, I’d have to go with Fright Night, even though he doesn’t have the accent. Cause he plays a vampire, and that trumps everything :-p

 

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I’m sure any girl my age would agree with me, David was the ultimate heartthrob of the 90’s. I was in high school when Buffy the Vampire Slayer first aired, and, like every other teenaged girl with eyes, I was immediately smitten with the vampiric Angel. He plays in Bones now, which is in it’s 9th season, and he hasn’t lost any of his appeal. His few forays onto the big screen went mostly unnoticed (for good reason), but that’s ok. He doesn’t need to be in films to be awesome. TV is a good place to be.

 

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Ah, Doctor. My beautiful, lonely, messed-up Doctor. I’ve only recently discovered Doctor Who, but I’m so very glad I did. David could look good sitting in a burlap sack while reading a phone book. Thankfully though, his roles make him look much better than that. I’m going to say, in the looks department, it’ll be a tie between Doctor Who and Fright Night. If only for the shirtless, leather-pants-clad scene alone.

 

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Cellist in the alternative band Apocalytica, Eicca is as talented as he is beautiful. I saw them live a few years back, and I have to say it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to a lot. Eicca’s weight fluctuates a lot, so sometimes he looks much rounder than usual. I guess that’s when he’s been off tour for a while. Cause the way they run around the stage with their huge instruments night after night, there’s no way he’d keep on any extra pounds! hehe

 

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I’ve loved Elijah since I was a kid. We’re almost the exact same age (he’s 7 months older) so we kinda grew up together. He was a cute kid, then he went through this horrible gawky stage in his teens, but thankfully he grew out of it, and now he’s gorgeous. He’s got the goofiest smile, I think it’s perfectly charming. And those eyes, my goodness. You could fall right into those pools. He’s a wonderful actor, too, which makes him even better!

 

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While he’s gotten too “manly” for me, the first film I saw him in floored me. His role as Dracula in Dracula 2000 was absolutely perfect. It’s still one of my favourite Dracula performances. Taken as what it’s meant to be, Dracula 2000 is awesome.

 

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I’d never heard of Harry before Game of Thrones, although I did just recently see him in a two-part episode of Doctor Who. And while he was cute in the episode, if I were picking favourites, it would definitely be his role as the snivelling ass-hat Prince Viserys. The character has absolutely no redeeming qualities, but my-oh-my was he beautiful. That scene with the girl in the bathtub…. *phew*

 

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I first saw Jackson in Twilight, and while his hair was weird, his face is absolutely stunning. I haven’t seen all his movies, but I think he probably looked his best in The Last Airbender. Mediocre movie at best, but boy, did he make it worthwhile! He really is a great actor, and you can actually see it when he picks good projects to be in (like that chilling episode of Criminal Minds…)

 

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This man seemingly has it all; looks, acting talent, and a hell of a set of pipes. I don’t know where he thinks he gets off being so  talented, I mean really, save some for the rest of us! I’ve seen his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, live twice. And last time I even waited around after the show so I could get his autograph. I’ve never done that before. He’s the first celebrity that I’ve ever touched (our fingers brushed while I took my CD back, ooh :-p ), and while I’m sure it didn’t do anything life-altering to me, it was cool to meet him nonetheless, hehe.

 

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Dean Winchester. Really, do I have to say anything more than that?? You have no idea how happy it makes me that a man this beautiful loves to do horror. It’s just a shame that, despite his looks and talent, he can’t seem to find a good film role. That’s ok, as long as he keeps doing Supernatural, it’s all good.

 

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Beautiful and talented, Johnny’s been one of my favourite actors since I first saw him, all those years ago, in Cry-Baby, which, by rights, should be a very bad movie, and yet somehow isn’t. Or, maybe it is, and I just don’t see it, hehe. Actually, technically it would be Nightmare on Elm Street that I first saw him in, but I was so young that I hardly remember at all, and I actually didn’t know it was Johnny in the role till I saw it again somewhere in my late teens. But my favourite film of his is probably still Sleepy Hollow. Man, I love that flick… Johnny owns a club called The Viper Room in LA (where River Phoenix tragically died), and I went there on my trip to LA a few years back. Sadly, he was not in attendance :-p

 

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I first saw Jonathan in Velvet Goldmine, and have been in love ever since. It seems unfair that someone so attractive should also be so talented, but there you have it. He’s looked amazing in almost all of his roles, but I’d have to pick Titus as the top. The combo of the long hair and tattoos just rocked me. I’m looking forward to see his portrayal of Dracula. As usual, I’m waiting till the end of the season so I can watch at my leisure. So hurry up, dammit! hehe

 

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Jon Snow. That is all. I haven’t seen Kit in anything but Game of Thrones, but with the talent and looks he’s got, I’m sure we’ll be seeing him pop up more in time.

 

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While Lee Pace looks good no matter what he’s doing, He was jaw-droppingly gorgeous (for all of 2 seconds) in The Hobbit. I was so happy to see that he was in this movie, and after spending the whole movie waiting to see him again, I was quite upset it never happened. Thank goodness there’s two other Hobbit films to come! I certainly hope I’ll get to see the second before it leaves cinemas!

 

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Matthew (of the ever-changing hair) is the lead singer for alternative rock band Muse, one of my very favourite bands. I *finally* got to see them live this year (last time they came round I found out on the day of. I was not amused), and it was fan-bloody-tastic. If I believed in angels, I’d say his voice was a gift straight from the angels. As it is, I’ll just say his voice is amazing. And he sounds just as good live as he does on the CD. You’d be surprised (or not) at how many singers don’t.

 

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I’ve just recently started watching Criminal Minds, and boy am I glad I did (and not only because of Matthew). It’s such a great show, awesome stories, solid acting all the way around, just generally a great show. Not a very realistic view of FBI procedures I’m sure, but really now, what show is? I’m at season 7 now, at the beginning, I’ve only watched the first episode. Matthew’s character, Dr Spencer Reid, is one of the best characters in the show. He’s a gorgeous geek, and a complete genius. I’ve only seen him in one film (How to be a Serial Killer), but it was pretty good, if a little weird. I don’t actually know what else he’s been in. I should probably check it out… And, yes, I just realized I spelled his name wrong in my picture, but I’m too lazy to change it. So there.

 

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Castiel. Nuff said. Oddly enough, when Castiel first showed himself in season 4 of Supernatural, I wasn’t all that impressed. He was good looking, yes, but nothing special. But through his interaction with Dean Winchester, and the force of his personality, he got more beautiful by the second. I’m so upset at the direction that Supernatural writers took the character, especially in season 7. He just doesn’t feel like the same person any more. I know character development is important in a show, but really, did he have to “develop” that far??

 

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My favourite Nicholas Hoult film is definitely Warm Bodies, but I can’t really say that’s the film he looks the best in. The goth/emo look is fine. Dead? Not so much. But he was absolutely breathtaking in A Single Man. And not because he was naked a whole lot near the end. Ok, not just because… :-p But holy crap, what a downer that film was, especially the ending. I was so emotionally wrung out after that, I needed to watch a cartoon afterwards, hehe.

 

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I first saw Orlando in Lord of the Rings and he literally took my breath away. Not the best of actors, but when you look like he does, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. To choose whether he looked better in Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean, though, that’s impossible. So I call a tie. Looking forward to seeing him in The Desolation of Smaug, even though, from what I saw in the trailers, his face seems to be very CGI’d. Did he age that badly in just over 10 years..?

 

Robert Downey Jr

I’ve loved Robert Downey Jr since I was a kid. He’s so talented, I just can’t believe he still doesn’t have an Oscar. He was nominated twice, but never won. What a shame. But like a fine wine, Robert seems to get better with age. He’s always been good looking, but he was positively gorgeous as Tony Stark. And he still makes my heart flutter in Only You, one of my all-time favourite chick flicks.

 

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Strangely enough, when I first saw Thor, I can’t say that I really noticed Tom. I’m not sure why, maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. But then The Avengers came out, and my jaw literally hit the floor. That scene where Loki’s at the party, coming down the stairs, in that suit? The man couldn’t have looked more perfect than if he’d walked straight out of my dreams.

 

Honourable mentions for actors who have passed away

I feel a little gross including dead men in my list of beauties, so I’ll list a few off here, to remind you how good looking they were in life:

River Phoenix (The Thing Called Love, Stand By Me)
Heath Ledger (10 Things I Hate About You, The Dark Knight)
Brandon Lee (The Crow)
Brad Renfro (The Client, Apt Pupil)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Just One of the Girls)
Kurt Cobain (singer of alternative band Nirvana)
Glenn Quinn (Angel)

And that’s it. What did you think? Which male celebrities make you weak in the knees? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

M.